Atfirsthewaschargedwiththeftandmurder,andwasactuallycondemnedforkillingGeorgeSympsonatKnoleinBerkshire.Butthedayafterhissentence,anActofOblivionwaspassed,andHindwasputupontrialfortreason.Duringhisexaminationhebehavedwiththeutmostgaiety,boastfullyenlarginguponhisservicestotheKing'scause.`Thesearefilthyjinglingspurs,'
saidheasheleftthebar,pointingtotheironsabouthislegs,`butIhopetoexchangethemerelong.'Hisgood-humourremainedwithhimtotheend.Hejestedinprisonashejestedontheroad,anditwaswithalightheartthathemountedthescaffoldbuiltforhimatWorcester.Hiswasthefatereservedfortraitors:hewashanged,drawn,andquartered,andthoughhisheadwasprivilystolenandburiedonthedayofexecution,hisquartersweredisplayeduponthetownwalls,untiltimeandthebirdsdestoyed{sic}themutterly.
ThusdiedthemostfamoushighwaymanthateverdrewreinuponanEnglishroad;andhediedthedeathofahero.Theunnumberedcrimesofviolenceandrobberywherewithhemighthavebeenchargedweighednotafeather'sweightuponhisdestiny;hesufferednotinthecauseofplunder,butinthecauseofCharlesStuart.Andinthusexcusinghisdeath,hiscontemporariesdidhimscantjustice.Forwhileintreasonableloyaltyhehadathousandrivals,ontheroadhewasthefirstexponentofthegrandmanner.Themiddleoftheseventeenthcenturywas,intruth,thegoldenageoftheRoad.NotonlywereallthehighwaymenCavaliers,butmanyaCavalierturnedhighwayman.
BrokenattheirKing'sdefeat,ahundredcaptainstookpistolandvizard,andrevengedthemselvesasfreebootersupontheKing'senemies.AndthoughHindwasoutlawfirstandroyalistafterwards,hewasstillthemostbrilliantcollectorofthemall.Ifheowedsomethingtohismaster,Allen,headdedfromthestorehouseofhisowngeniusahostofnewprecepts,andwasthefirsttoestablishanenduringtradition.
Beforeallthingsheinsisteduponcourtesy;aguineastolenbyanawkwardruffianwasasorrytheft;leviedbyagentlemanofthehighway,itwasatributepaidtocouragebygenerosity.
Nothingwouldatoneforaninsultofferedtoalady;andwhenitwasHind'sdutytoseizepartofagentlewoman'sdowryonthePetersfieldroad,henotonlypleadedhisnecessityineloquentexcuse,buthemademanypromisesonbehalfofknight-errantryanddamselsindistress.Neverwouldheextortatrinkettowhichassociationhadgivenasentimentalworth;duringalongcareerheneverleftanyman,saveaRoundhead,pennilessupontheroad;norwasithiscustomtostripthemasterwithoutgivingthemanatrifleforhispains.Hiscourage,moreover,wasequaltohisunderstanding.Sincehewasafraidofnothing,itwasnothishabittoblusterwhenhewasnotdeterminedtohavehisway.Whenoncehispistolwaslevelled,whenoncethesolemnorderwasgiven,thevictimmusteitherfightorsurrender;andHindwasneverthemantodeclineacombatwithanyweaponsandinanycircumstances.
Likethetrueartistthathewas,heneglectednodetailofhiscraft.Ashewasaperfectshot,soalsohewasafinishedhorseman;andhisskillnotonlysecuredhimagainstcapture,butalsohelpedhimtothetheftofsuchhorsesashisnecessitiesrequired,ortotheexchangeofaworn-outjadeforamettledprancer.OnceuponatimeacredulousfarmerofferedtwentypoundsandhisowngeldingfortheCaptain'smount.Hindstruckabargainatonce,andastheyjoggedalongtheroadhepersuadedthefarmertosethisnewly-purchasedhorseatthetallesthedge,thebroadestditch.Thebumpkinfailed,asHindknewhewouldfail;and,beggingtheloanforaninstantofhisancientsteed,Hindnotonlyshowedwhathorsemanshipcouldaccomplish,butstraightwayrodeoffwiththebetterhorseandtwentypoundsinhispocket.Somarvellouslydidhisreputationgrow,thatitbecameadistinctiontobeoutwittedbyhim,andthebrainsofinnocentmenwererackedtoinventtrickswhichmighthavebeenputuponthembytheillustriousCaptain.Thuslivelierjestsandmadderexploitswerefathereduponhimthanuponanyofhiskind,andhehasremainedfortwocenturiestheprimefavouriteofthechap-books.
Robbingalone,hecouldaffordtodespisepedantry:didhemeetatravellerwhoamusedhisfancyhewouldgivehimthepass-word`thefiddler'spaid,'orwhatnot,asthoughthehighwayhadnotitscodeofmorals;nordidhescruple,whenitservedhispurpose,torobthebunglersofhisownprofession.Bythismeans,indeed,heraisedthestandardoftheRoadandwarnedtheincompetenttoembraceaneasiertrade.Whilehenevertookashillingwithoutsweeteninghisdepredationwithajoke,hewas,likeallhumorists,anacutephilosopher.`RememberwhatItellyou,'hesaidtothefoolishpersonswhoonceattemptedtorobhim,themaster-thiefofEngland,`disgracenotyourselfforsmallsums,butaimhigh,andforgreatones;theleastwillbringyoutothegallows.'There,infivelines,isthewholephilosophyofthieving,andmanyapoordevilhasleaptfromthecarttohislastdancebecauseheneglectedthecounseloftheillustriousHind.Amonghisaversionswerelawyersandthief-catchers.`TrulyIcouldwish,'heexclaimedincourt,`thatfull-fedfeeswereaslittleusedinEnglandamonglawyersastheeatingofswine'sfleshwasamongtheJews.'WhenyourememberthetermsoffriendshipwhereonhelivedwithMollCutpurse,hishatredofthethief-catcher,whowouldhanghisbrotherfor`thelucreoftenpounds,whichisthereward,'orwhowouldswallowafalseoath`aseasilyasonewouldswallowbutteredfish,'isatriflemysterious.PerhapsbeforehisdeathanestrangementdividedHindandMoll.WasitthattheRoaringGirlwastooanxioustotakethecreditofHind'ssuccess?Ordidheharbourtheunjustsuspicionthatwhenthelastdescentwasmadeuponhimatthebarber's,Mollmighthavegivenafriendlywarning?
Ofthishemadenoconfession,butthehonestthiefwaseveraliberalhaterofspiesandattorneys,andHind'sprudenceisunquestioned.Amiracleofintelligence,amasterofstyle,heexcelledallhiscontemporariesandsetupforposterityanunattainablestandard.Theeighteenthcenturyflatteredhimbyitsimitation;butcowardiceandswaggercompelledittolimpmanyadishonourableleaguebehind.Despitethesingleinspirationofdancingacorantuponthegreen,ClaudeDuval,comparedtoHind,wasanemptybraggart.CaptainStaffordspoiledthebestofhiseffectswithamorethanbrutalvice.
NeitherMull-SacknortheGoldenFarmer,foralltheirlonglifeandhandsomeplunder,arecomparableforaninstanttotherobberofPetersandBradshaw.Theykepttheirfistfiercelyuponthegoldofothers,andcarednotbywhatartificeitwasextorted.
Hindnevertookasovereignmeanly;heapproachednoenterprisewhichhedidnotadorn.LivinginatrueAugustanage,hewasaclassicamonghighwaymen,theveryVirgilofthePad.
MOLLCUTPURSEAND
JONATHANWILD
I
MOLLCUTPURSE
MOLLCUTPURSE
THEmostillustriouswomanofanillustriousage,MollCutpursehasneverlackedtherecognitionduetohergenius.Shewasscarceofagewhenthetowndevouredingreedyadmirationthefirstrecordofherpranksandexploits.AyearlaterMiddletonmadehertheheroineofasparklingcomedy.Thereaftershebecamethefavouriteoftherufflers,thecommonplaceofthepoets.Newgateknewher,andFleetStreet;hermanlyfigurewasasfamiliarintheBearGardenasattheDevilTavern;courtedalikebythethiefandhisvictim,forfiftyyearsshelivedalifebrilliantassunlight,many-colouredasarainbow.Andsheisremembered,afterthelapseofcenturies,notonlyastheQueen-RegentofMisrule,thebenevolenttyrantofcly-filersandheavers,ofhacksandblades,butastheincomparableRoaringGirl,freeoftheplayhouse,whoperchancepresidedwithBenJonsonovertheParliamentofWits.
ShewasbornintheBarbicanattheheydayofEngland'sgreatness,fouryearsafterthegloriousdefeatoftheArmada,andhadtoherfatheranhonestshoemaker.Shecameintotheworldsaithrumourwithherfistdoubled,andeveninthecradlegaveproofofaboyish,boisterousdisposition.Hergirlhood,ifthewordbenotanaffronttohermannishcharacter,wasastempestuousasawind-blownpetticoat.Avery`tomrigandrump-scuttle,'sheknewonlythesportsofboys:herwar-likespiritcountednoexcusetooslightforabattle;andsovaliantaladwassheofherhands,sowellskilledincudgel-play,thatnoneeverwrestedavictoryfromfightingMoll.Whileothergirlswerecontenttohemakerchieformarkasampler,MollwouldescapetotheBearGarden,andthereenjoythesportofbaiting,whoseloyalpatronsheremaineduntotheend.Thatwhichmostbitterlyaffrontedherwasthemagpietalkofthewenches.`Why,'shewouldaskinafuryofindignation,`whycrouchoverthefirewithapackofgossips,whenthehighwayinvitesyoutoromance?Whyfingeradistaff,whenaquarterstaffcomesmoreaptlytoyourhand?'
Andthusshegrewinageandstature,astrangertothesoftdelightsofhersex,herheartstilldeaftothetrivialvoiceoflove.Hadnotawaywardaccidentcumberedherwithakirtle,shewouldhavesoughtdeathorgloryinthewars;shewouldhavegonewithColonelDowne'smenupontheroad;shewouldhavesailedtotheSpanishMainforpiecesofeight.Butthetyrannyofwomanhoodwasasyetsupreme,andthehonestshoemaker,ignorantofhisdaughter'stalent,badehertakeserviceatarespectablesaddler's,andthussuppressthefrowardnessofherpassion.Herrebellionwasinstant.Neverwouldsheabandontheswordandthewrestling-boothfortheharmlessbodkinandthehearthstoneofdomesticity.Beingabsoluteinrefusal,shewaskidnappedbyherfriendsandsentonboardaship,boundforVirginiaandslavery.There,inthedearthofwomankind,evensosturdyawenchasMollmighthavefoundahusband;buttheenterprisewaslittletohertaste,and,alwaysresourceful,sheescapedfromshipboardbeforethecaptainhadweighedhisanchor.
Henceforthsheresolvedherlifeshouldbefreeandchainlessasthewinds.Nevermoreshouldneedleandthreadtempthertoawomanishinactivity.AsHercules,whosecounterpartshewas,changedhisclubforthedistaffofOmphale,sowouldsheputoffthewimpleandbodiceofhersexforjerkinandgalligaskins.Ifshecouldnotalluremanhood,thenwouldshebraveit.Andthoughshemightnotcrossswordswithhercountry'sfoes,atleastshemightlevytributeupontheunjustlyrich,andconfrontanenemywherevertherewasafullpocket.
Herentranceintoagangofthieveswasbesetbynodifficulty.
TheBearGarden,alwaysherfavouriteresort,hadmadeheracquaintedwithallthediversandrumpadsofthetown.Thetime,moreover,wasfavourabletoenterprise,andonceagainwasgeniusbornintoagoldenage.Thecuttingofpurseswasanartbroughttoperfection,andalreadythemoreelegantpracticeofpickingpocketswasunderstood.Thetransitiongavescopeforendlessingenuity,andMollwasnotslowinmasteringthetheoryofeithercraft.Itwasachangingfashionofdress,asIhavesaid,whichforcedanewtacticuponthethief;thepocketwasinventedbecausethehangingpursewastooeasyapreyforthethievishscissors.Andnosoonerdidtheworldconcealitswealthinpocketsthanthecly-filerwasborntoextractthebootywithhislong,nimblefingers.Thetrickwasmanagedwithanadmirableforethought,whichhasbeenaconstantexampletoafterages.Thefilewasalwaysaccompaniedbyabull:,whosedutyitwastojostleanddistractthevictimwhilehispocketswererifled.Thebung,orwhatnot,wasrapidlypassedontotheattendantrub,whoscurriedoffbeforethecryofSTOPTHIEF!
couldberaised.
ThuswasthecraftofthievingpractisedwhenMollwasenrolledahumblememberofthegang.Yetnaturehadnotendowedherwiththequalitieswhichensureanactivetriumph.`Thebestsignsandmarksofahappy,industrioushand,'wrotethehoyden,`isalongmiddlefinger,equallysuitedwiththattheycallthefool'sorfirstfinger.'Now,thoughshewasneveraclumsyjade,thepracticeofsword-playandquarterstaffhadnotrefinedtheindustryofherhands,whichweretheratherframedforstrengththanfordelicacy.Sothatthoughsheservedawillingapprenticeship,andeagerlysharedtherisksofherchosentrade,thefearofNewgateandTyburnweighedheavilyuponherspirit,andshecastaboutherforamethodofescape.Avoidingthedangerofdiscovery,shewaslothtoforegoherjustprofit,andhopedthatintelligencemightatoneforhersturdy,inactivefingers.Alreadyshehadendearedherselftothegangbyunnumberedactsofkindnessandgenerosity;alreadyherinflexiblejusticehadmadeherumpireinmanyadifficultdispute.Ifarascalcouldbeboughtoffatthegallows'foot,therewasMollwithanopenpurse;andsospeedilydidshepenetrateallthesecretsofthievishpolicy,thathercounselandcomfortweresoonindispensable.
Here,then,washeropportunity.Alwaysadiplomatistratherthanageneral,shegaveupthebattlefieldforthecouncilchamber.Sheplannedtherobberieswhichdefterhandsachieved;
and,turningherselffromcly-filertofence,shereceivedandchangedtomoneyallthewatchesandtrinketsstolenbythegang.
Wereacitizenrobbeduponthehighway,hestraightwaybetookhimselftoMoll,andhispropertywaspresentlyreturnedhimatahandsomeprice.Herhouse,inshort,becameabrokery.Hitherthebladesanddiversbroughttheirpurchases,andsoughttheransom;hithercametheoutragedvictimstobuyagainthejewelsandringswhichthievishfingershadpinched.Withprosperityhermethodimproved,untilatlastherstatesmanshipcontrolledtheremotestdetailsofthecraft.Didoneofherganggettoworkovernightandcarryoffawealthyswag,shehaddueintelligenceoftheaffairbetimesnextmorning,sothat,furnishedwithaninventoryofthebooty,shemightmakeajustdivision,orbepreparedfortheadventoftherightfulowner.
Soshegainedacompleteascendencyoverherfellows.Andwhenonceherpositionwasassured,shecameforthapitilessautocrat.Henceforththegangexistedforherpleasure,notsheforthegang's;andshewasasurgenttopunishinsubordinationasisanempresstoavengetheheinoussinoftreason.Thepickpocketwhohadclaimedherprotectionknewnomorethedelightoffreedom.Ifhedaredconcealthebootythatwashis,hehadanenemymorepowerfulthanthelaw,andmanyatimedidcontumacypaythelastpenaltyatthegallows.Butthefaithfulalsohadtheirreward,forMollneverdesertedacomrade,andwhileshelivedinperfectsafetyherselfsheknewwellhowtocontrivethesafetyofothers.Norwasshecontentmerelytodischargethosedutiesofthefenceforwhichaninstinctofstatecraftdesignedher.Herrestlessbrainseethedwithplansofplunder,andifherhandswereidleitwasherdirectionthatemptiedhalfthepocketsinLondon.Havingdrilledherarmyofdiverstoanunparalleledactivity,shecastaboutforsomefreshmethodofwarfare,andsoenrolledaregimentofheavers,whowouldlurkatthemercers'doorsforanopportunitytocarryoffledgersandaccount-books.ThepriceofredemptionwasfixedbyMollherself,anduntilthemercerswerearousedbyfrequentlossestoaquickervigilance,thetradewasprofitablysecure.
Meanwhilenewclientswereeverseekingheraid,and,alreadyempressofthethieves,shepresentlyaspiredtothefriendshipandpatronageofthehighwaymen.Thoughshedidnotdisposeoftheirbooty,shewasappointedtheirbanker,andvastwasthetreasureentrustedtothecoffersofhonestMoll.Now,itwasherpridetokeeponlythebestcompany,forshehatedstupidityworsethanaclumsyhand,andtheyweremenofwitandspiritwhofrequentedherhouse.ThithercamethefamousCaptainHind,theRegicides'inveterateenemy,whoseloftyachievementsMoll,withanamiableextravagance,waswonttoclaimforherown.ThithercametheunamiablynotoriousMullSack,whoonceemptiedCromwell'spocketontheMall,andwhosecouragewasasformidableashisrough-edgedtongue.AnotherfavouritewastheingeniousCrowder,whosehumouritwastotaketheroadhabitedlikeabishop,andwhosurprisedthevictimsofhisgreedwithghostlycounsel.Thusitwasamerrypartythatassembledinthelady'sparlour,loyaltothememoryofthemartyredking,andquicktoflingbackanoffendingpleasantry.
ButthehouseinFleetStreetwasarefugeaswellasaresort,thesanctuaryofahundredrascals,whosemisdeedswerenottooflagrantlydiscovered.For,whileMollalwaysalloweddiscretiontogovernherconduct,whileshewouldrisknopresentsecurityforavaguepromiseofadvantagestocome,hersecretinfluenceinNewgatemadehermorepowerfulthanthehangmanandthewholebenchofjudges.Therewasnoturnkeywhowasnotherdevotedservitor,butitwastheclerkofNewgatetowhomsheandherfamilyweremostdeeplybeholden.ThiswasoneRalphBriscoe,asprettyafellowaseverdesertedthelawforabull-
baiting.Thoughwizenedandclerklyinappearance,hewasofaloftycourage;andMollwasheardtodeclarethathadshenotbeensworntocelibacy,shewouldhavecastaneyeuponthefaithfulRalph,whowasobedienttoherbehestswhetheratGaolDeliveryorBearGarden.Forherhewouldpackajuryorgetareprieve;forhimshewouldbaitabullwiththefiercestdogsinLondon.Whythenshouldshefearthelaw,whentheclerkofNewgateandGregorytheHangmanfoughtuponherside?
Forothersthearbiteroflifeanddeath,shewasonlythriceinanunexampledcareerconfrontedwiththelaw.Herfirstoccasionofarrestwassopaltrythatitbroughtdiscreditonlyontheconstable.Thisjack-in-office,averyDogberry,encounteredMollreturningdownLudgateHillfromsomemerry-making,alanthorncarriedpompouslybeforeher.Startledbyherattirehequestionedherclosely,andreceivinginsultforanswer,promptlycarriedhertotheRoundHouse.Thecustomarygarnishmadeherfreeortheprison,andnextmorningabriefinterviewwiththeLordMayorrestoredMolltolibertybutnottoforgetfulness.
Shehadyettowreakhervengeanceupontheconstableforamonstrousaffront,andhearingpresentlythathehadarichuncleinShropshire,shekilledtheoldgentlemaninimaginationandmadetheconstablehisheir.Instantlyaretainer,inthetruegarbandaccentofthecountry,carriedthenewstoDogberry,andsenthimofftoLudlowonthecostliestoffool'serrands.Hepurchasedahorseandsetforthjoyously,asbecameamanofproperty;helimpedhome,brokeninpurseandspirit,thehaplessobjectofridiculeandcontempt.Perhapsheguessedtheauthorofthissprightlyoutrage;butMoll,forherpart,wasfartoofinishedahumoristtorevealthetruth,andhereaftershewascontenttoswellthejestingchorus.
Hersecondencounterwithjusticewasnomerepleasantry,anditwasonlyhermarvellousgeneralshipthatsnatchedhercareerfromuntimelyruinandherselffromtheclutchofMasterGregory.TwoofheremissarieshadencounteredafarmerinChanceryLane.
TheyspokewithhimfirstatSmithfield,andknewthathispocketwaswelllinedwithbank-notes.Animprovisedquarrelatatavern-doorthrewthefarmeroffhisguard,andthoughhedefendedthemoney,hiswatchwassnatchedfromhisfobanddulycarriedtoMoll.Thenextdaythevictim,anxioustorepurchasehiswatch,repairedtoFleetStreet,whereMollgenerouslypromisedtorecoverthestolenproperty.Unhappilysecurityhadencouragedrecklessness,andasthefarmerturnedtoleaveheespiedhisownwatchhangingamongothertrinketsuponthewall.
Withararediscretionheheldhispeaceuntilhehadcalledaconstabletohisaid,andthistimetheRoaringGirlwaslodgedinNewgate,withanuglycrimelaidtohercharge.
Committedfortrial,shedemandedthatthewatchshouldbeleftintheconstable'skeeping,and,pleadingnotguiltywhenthesessionscameround,insistedthatherwatchandthefarmer'swerenotthesame.Thefarmer,anxioustoacknowledgehisproperty,demandedtheconstabletodeliverthewatch,thatitmightbesworntoinopencourt;andwhentheconstableputhishandtohispockettheonlypieceofdamningevidencehadvanished,stolenbythenimblefingersofoneofMoll'sofficers.
Thuswithadmirabletrickeryandaperfectsenseofdramaticeffectshecontrivedherescape,andneveragainrantheriskofasuddendiscovery.Forexperiencebroughtcautioninitstrain,andthoughthiswiliestoffenceslivedalmostwithintheshadowofNewgate,thoughshewasasfamiliarintheprisonyardasattheGlobeTavern,hernightlyresort,sheobeyedtherulesoflifeandlawwithsopreciseanexactitudethatsuspicioncouldneverfastenuponher.Herkingdomwasmidwaybetweenrobberyandjustice.Andasshecontrolledthemysteryofthievingso,inreality,shemetedoutpunishmenttotheevildoer.Honestcitizenswererobbedwithsmallrisktolifeorproperty.
ForMollalwaysfrowneduponviolence,andwaseverreadytorestorethebootyforafairransom.Andthethieves,drivenbydisciplinetoacertainhumanity,pliedtheirtradewithanobedienceandorderlinesshithertounknown.Moll'sthenwasnomeanachievement.Hercareerwasnotcircumscribedbyhertrade,andtheRoaringGirl,thedaredevilcompanionofthewitsandbloods,enjoyedafamenolessgloriousthantheQueenofThieves.
`EnterMollinafriezejerkinandablacksafeguard.'Thusintheoldcomedyshecomesuponthestage;andtrulyitwasbyherclothesthatshewasfirstnotorious.Byaccidentawoman,byhabitaman,shemustneedsinventacostumepropertoherpursuits.Butshewasnoshriekingreformer,nofanaticspyingregenerationinapairofbreeches.Onlyinherattiresheshowedherwit;andshewenttoabull-baitinginsuchadressaswellbecameherfavouritesport.Shewasnotofthosewho`walkinspursbutneverride.'Thejerkin,thedoublet,thegalligaskinswereputontoservethepracticalpurposesoflife,nottoattractthepolicemanorthespinster.Andwhenapetticoatspreaditsamplefoldsbeneaththedoublet,notonlywasherarrayhandsome,butitsymbolisedthecareerofonewhowasneithermannorwoman,andyetboth.Afterawhile,however,thepetticoatseemedtootameforherstalwarttemper,andsheexchangeditforthegreatDutchslop,habitedinwhichunseemlygarmentsheispicturedintheancientprints.
Upanddownthetownsherompedandscolded,earningthenamewhichMiddletongaveherinhergreengirlhood.`Shehasthespiritoffourgreatparishes,'saysthewitinthecomedy,`andavoicethatwilldrownallthecity.'Ifagallantstoodintheway,shedrewuponhiminaninstant,andhemustbeacleverswordsmantoholdhisgroundagainstthetomboywhohadlaidlowtheGermanfencerhimself.Agoodfellowalways,shehadeveramerrywordforthepasser-by,andsosharpwashertonguethatnoneeverputatrickuponher.NottoknowMollwastobeinglorious,andshe`slippedfromonecompanytoanotherlikeafateelbetweenaDutchman'sfingers.'NowatParker'sOrdinary,nowattheBearGarden,shefrequentedonlythehauntsofmen,andnotuntiloldagecameuponherdidsheendurepatientlythepresenceofwomen.
Hervoiceandspeechweresuitedtothegalligaskin.ShewasatruediscipleofMaltreFranois,hatingnothingsomuchasmincingobscenity,andifsheflavouredherdiscoursewithmanyablasphemousquip,theblasphemywas`notsomaliciousascustomary.'Likethebloodshewas,shelovedgoodaleandwine;
andsheregardeditamongherproudesttitlestorenownthatshewasthefirstofwomentosmoketobacco.ManywasthepoundofbestVirginianthatsheboughtofMistressGallipot,andthepipe,withmonkey,dog,andeagle,isherconstantemblem.Heranticattire,thefearlesscourageofherpranks,nowandagaininvolvedherindisgraceorevenjeopardisedherfreedom;butherunchanginggaietymadelightofdisaster,andstillshelaughedandrollickedindefianceofprudeandpedant.
HercompanioninmanyafantasticaladventurewasBanks,thevintnerofCheapside,thatsameBankswhotaughthishorsetodanceandshodhimwithsilver.Nowonceuponatimearightwittysportwasdevisedbetweenthem.ThevintnerbetMoll20thatshewouldnotridefromCharingCrosstoShoreditchastraddleonhorseback,inbreechesanddoublet,bootsandspurs.
Thehoydentookhimupinamoment,andaddedofherowndevilryatrumpetandbanner.ShesetoutfromCharingCrossbravelyenough,andatrumpeterbeinganunwontedspectacle,theeyesofallthetownwereclappeduponher.YetnoneknewheruntilshereachedBishopsgate,whereanorange-wenchsetupthecry,`MollCutpurseonhorseback!'Instantlythecavalierwassurroundedbyanoisymob.Somewouldhavetornherfromthesaddleforanimaginedinsultuponwomanhood,others,morewiselyminded,laughedattheprankwithgood-humouredmerriment.Everyminutethethronggrewdenser,andithadfaredhardlywithroysteringMoll,hadnotaweddingandthearrestofadebtorpresentlydistractedthegapingidlers.Asthemobturnedtogazeatthefreshwonder,shespurredherhorseuntilshegainedNewingtonbyanunfrequentedlane.ThereshewaiteduntilnightshouldcoverherprogresstoShoreditch,andthuspeacefullyshereturnedhometolightenthevintner'spocketoftwentypounds.
Thefameoftheadventurespreadabroad,andthatthescandalshouldnotberepeatedMollwassummonedbeforetheCourtofArchestoanswerachargeofappearingpubliclyinmannishapparel.Theaugusttribunalhadnoterrorforher,andshereceivedhersentencetodopenanceinawhitesheetatPaul'sCrossduringmorning-serviceonaSundaywithanaudaciouscontempt.`Theymightaswellhaveshamedablackdogasme,'
sheproudlyexclaimed;andwhyshouldshedreadthewhitesheet,whenallthespectatorslookedwithalenienteyeuponherprofesseddiscomfiture?'Forahalfpenny,'shesaid,`shewouldhavetravelledtoeverymarket-townofEnglandintheguiseofapenitent,'andhavingtippledoffthreequartsofsacksheswaggeredtoPaul'sCrossinthemaddestofhumours.Butnotallthecourtsonearthcouldlengthenherpetticoat,orcontracttheDutchslopbyasinglefold.Forawhile,perhaps,shechastenedhercostume,yetshesoonrevertedtotheancientmode,andtoherdyingdaywenthabitedasaman.
Asbearbaitingwasthepassionofherlife,soshewasscrupulousinthecareandtrainingofherdogs.Shegavethemeachatrundle-bed,wrappingthemfromthecoldinsheetsandblankets,whiletheirfoodwouldnothavedishonouredagentleman'stable.Parrots,too,gaveasenseofcolourandcompanionshiptoherhouse;anditwasinthisloveofpets,andherdevotiontocleanliness,thatsheshowedatraceofdormantwomanhood.Abroadaribaldandascold,athomeshewastheneatestofhousewives,andherparlour,withitsmirrorsanditsmanifoldornaments,wastheenvyoftheneighbours.Sohertradeflourished,andshelivedalifeofcomfort,ofplentyeven,untiltheCivilWarthrewheroutofwork.Whenanunnaturalconflictsetthewholecountryatloggerheads,whatoccasionwasthereforthehonestprig?Anditisnotsurprisingthat,likeallthegentlemenadventurersoftheage,MollremainedmoststubbornlyloyaltotheKing'scause.ShemadetheconduitinFleetStreetrunwithwinewhenCharlescametoLondonin1638;anditwasheramiablepleasantrytogivethenameofStraffordtoaclever,cunningbull,andtodubthedogsthatassailedhimPym,Hampden,andtherest,thatrightheartilyshemightapplaudthecourageofStraffordashethrewoffhisunwaryassailants.
Solongasthequarrellasted,shewascompelledtofollowaprofessionmoreancientthanthefence's;forthereisonepassionwhichwaritselfcannotextinguish.WhenoncetheKinghadlaidhishead`downasuponabed,'whenoncetheProtectorhadproclaimedhissupremacy,theindustryoftheroadrevived;
andtherewasnotasinglediverorrumpadthatdidnotdeclareeternalwarupontheblack-heartedRegicides.Withalaudabledevotiontoherchosencause,MolldespatchedthemostexperiencedofhergangtorobLadyFairfaxonherwaytochurch;andthereisatraditionthattheRoaringGirl,hearingthatFairfaxhimselfwouldpassbyHounslow,rodeforthtomeethim,andwithherownvoicebadehimstandanddeliver.
Onewouldliketobelieveit;yetitisscarcecredible.IfFairfaxhadspentthebalanceofanignominiouscareerinbeingplunderedbyabandofloyalbrigands,hewouldnothavehadtimetojustifytheinnumerablelegendsofpocketsemptiedandpistolslevelledathishead.Moreover,Mollherselfwasladenwithyears,andshehadalwayspreferredthecouncilchambertothebattlefield.Butitiscertainthat,withCaptainHindandMullSacktoaid,sheschemedmanyacleverplotagainsttheRoundheads,andnoblysheplayedherpartinavengingthemartyredKing.
Thusshedeclinedintooldage,attended,likeQueenMary,byhermaids,whowouldcard,reel,spin,andbeguileherleisurewithsweetsinging.Thoughherspiritwasuntamed,theburdenofheryearscompelledhertoatranquillife.She,whoformerlynevermissedabull-baiting,mustnowcontentherselfwithtick-tack.
Herfortune,moreover,hadbeenwreckedintheCivilWar.Thoughsilvershellsstilljingledinherpocket,timewassheknewtherattleoftheyellowboys.Butsheneverlostcourage,anddiedatlastofadropsy,inplacidcontentmentwithherlot.
Assuredlyshewasbornatatimewellsuitedtohergenius.Hadshelivedto-day,shemighthavebeena`Pioneer';shemightevenhavediscussedsomepaltryproblemofsexinaprintedobscenity.
Inherownfreer,wiserage,shewasnotman'sdetractor,buthisrival;andifsheneverknewthepassionoflove,shewasalwaysloyaltotheobligationoffriendship.ByherwillshelefttwentypoundstocelebratetheSecondCharles'srestorationtohiskingdom;andyoucontemplatehercareerwiththesingleregretthatshediedabriefyearbeforetheredwine,thusgenerouslybestowed,bubbledatthefountain.
II
JONATHANWILD
JONATHANWILD
WHENJonathanWildandtheCountLaRuse,inFielding'snarrative,tookahandatcards,Jonathanpickedhisopponent'spocket,thoughheknewitwasempty,whiletheCount,fromsheerforceofhabit,stackedthecards,thoughWildhadnotafarthingtolose.Andifinhisunculturedyouththegreatmanstoopedtoprigwithhisownhand,hewasearlycuredoftheweakness:sothatFielding'spictureoftheherotakingabottle-screwfromtheOrdinary'spocketintheverymomentofdeathisentirelyfanciful.For`thisMachiavelofThieves,'asacontemporarystyledhim,leftotherstoaccomplishwhathisingenuityhadplanned.Hiswasthehighpolicyoftheft.Ifhelivedontermsoffamiliarintimacywiththemill-kens,thebridle-culls,thebuttock-and-filesofLondon,hewasnonethelessthefriendandministerofjustice.HeenjoyedthefreedomofNewgateandtheOldBailey.Hecameandwentasheliked:hepackedjuries,heprocuredbail,hemanufacturedevidence;andtherewasscarceanassizeorasessionspassedbutheslewhisman.
Theworldknewhimforarobber,yetcouldnotrefusehisbrilliantservice.AtthePoultryCounter,youaretold,helaidthefoundationsofhisfuturegreatness,andtothePoultryCounterhewascommittedforsometriflingdebterehehadfullyservedhisapprenticeshiptotheartandmysteryofbuckle-
making.Therehelearnedhiscraft,andathisenlargementhewasableforthwithtocommencethief-catcher.Hisplanwasconceivedwithaneffronterythatwasnothinglessthangenius.
Ontheonesidehewasthefactor,orratherthetyrant,ofthecross-coves:ontheotherhewasthetrustedagentofjustice,thebenefactoroftheoutragedandtheplundered.AmonghisearliestexploitswastherecoveryoftheCountessofG——d——n'schair,impudentlycarriedoffwhenherladyshiphadbutjustalighted;andthecouragewherewithhebroughttojusticethemurderersofoneMrs.Knap,whohadbeenslainforsometriflingbooty,establishedhisreputationasuponarock.HeatonceadvertisedhimselfinthepublicprintsasThief-CatcherGeneralofGreatBritainandIreland,andproceededtosendtothegallowseveryscoundrelthatdareddisputehisposition.
Hisopportunitiesofgainwereinfinite.Evenifhedidnotorganisetherobberywhichhiscunningwaspresentlytodiscover,hehadspiesineveryholeandcornertosethimonthefelon'strack.Nordidheleaveasingleenterprisetochance:`Hedividedthecityandsuburbsintowardsordivisions,andappointedthepersonswhoweretoattendeachward,andkeptthemstrictlytotheirduty.'Ifasubordinatedaredtodisobeyortoshrinkfrommurder,Jonathanhangedhimatthenextassize,andhappilyforhimhehadnotasingleconfederatewhoseneckhemightnotputinthehalterwhenhechose.Thushepreservedtheunionandthefidelityofhisgang,punishingbyjudicialmurderthesmallestinsubordination,thefaintestsuspicionofrivalry.
EvenwhenhehadshuthisvictimupinNewgate,hedidnotleavehimsolongastherewasachanceofblackmail.Hewouldmakethemostgenerousoffersofevidenceanddefencetoeverythiefthathadastiverlefthim.Butwhetherornothekepthisbargain——thatdependeduponpolicyandinclination.Ononeoccasion,whenhehadbroughtafriendtotheOldBailey,andrelentedatthelastmoment,hekepttheprosecutordrunkfromthenoblemotiveofself-interest,untilthecasewasover.Andsoesteemedwasheoftheofficersofthelawthateventhisinterferencedidbutprocureareprimand.
Hismeanestactionmarkedhimoutfromhisfellows,butitwasnotuntilhehabituallypillagedthetreasuresheafterwardsrestoredtotheirgratefulownersforahandsomeconsideration,thathisartreachedthehighestpointofexcellence.Theeventwasmanagedbyhimwithamazingadroitnessfrombeginningtoend.
Itwashewhodiscoveredthewealthandhabitofthevictim;itwashewhopostedthethiefandseizedtheplunder,givingapaltrycommissiontohishirelingsforthetrouble;itwashewhokeptwhatevervaluableswerelostinthetransaction;andashewastheservantoftheCourt,discoveryorinconveniencewasimpossible.SurelytheMachiavelofThievesisjustifiedofhistitle.Hewasknowntoalltherichandtitledfolkintown;andifhewasgenerallyabletogivethembacktheirstolenvaluablesatsomethingmorethandoubletheirvalue,hetreatedhisclientswithamostproperinsolence.WhenLadyM——nwasunluckyenoughtoloseasilverbuckleatWindsor,sheaskedWildtorecoverit,andofferedtheherotwentypoundsforhistrouble.`Zounds,Madam,'sayshe,`youoffernothing.Itcostthegentlemanwhotookitfortypoundsforhiscoach,equipage,andotherexpensestoWindsor.'Hisimpudenceincreasedwithsuccess,andinthegenialityofhiscupshewaswonttoboasthisamazingrogueries:
`hintingnotwithoutvanityatthepoorUnderstandingsoftheGreatestPartofMankind,andhisownSuperiorCunning.'
Infifteenyearsheclaimed10,000forhisdividendofrecoveredplunderings,andwhoshallestimatethemoneyswhichflowedtohistreasuryfromblackmailandtherobberiesofhisgang?SobriskbecamehistradeinjewelsandthepreciousmetalsthatheopenedrelationswithHolland,andwasmasterofafleet.Hissplendourincreasedwithwealth:hecarriedasilver-
mountedsword,andafootmantrampedathisheels.`Histablewasverysplendid,'saysabiographer:`heseldomdiningunderfiveDishes,theReversionswhereofweregenerallycharitablybestow'dontheCommonsidefelons.'AthissecondmarriagewithMrs.MaryD——n,thehempenwidowofScullD——n,hishumourwasmosthappilyexpressed:hedistributedwhiteribbonsamongtheturnkeys,hegavetheOrdinaryglovesandfavours,hesenttheprisonersofNewgateseveralankersofbrandyforpunch.
`Twasafittingcomplaisance,sincehisfortunewasdrawnfromNewgate,andsincehewasdestinedhimself,afewyearslater,todrinkpunch——`aliquornowherespokenagainstintheScriptures'——withthesameOrdinarywhomhethusmagnificentlydecorated.Endowedwithconsiderablecourage,forawhilehehadtheprudencetosavehisskin,anddespitehisbravadohewasknownonoccasiontoyieldaplunderedtreasuretoanaccomplicewhosetapistoltohishead.ButitiscertainthattheaccomplicediedatTyburnforhispains,andonequaltermsJonathanwasresolutewiththebest.Onthetrailhewassavageasawildbeast.WhenhearrestedJamesWrightforarobberycommitteduponthepersonsoftheEarlofB——l——nandtheLordBruce,heheldontothevictim'schinbyhisteeth——anexploitwhichremindsyouoftheillustriousTigerRoche.
EveninhislifetimehewasgenerouslystyledtheGreat.ThescourgeofLondon,hebetrayedanddestroyedeverymanthateverdaredtoliveupontermsoffriendshipwithhim.ItwasJonathanthatmadeBlueskinathief,andJonathanscreenedhiscreaturefromjusticeonlysolongasclemencyseemedprofitable.AtthefirsthintofdisobedienceBlueskinwascommittedtoNewgate.
Whenhehadstoodhistrial,andwasbeingtakentotheCondemnedHole,hebeckonedtoWildasthoughtoaconference,andcuthisthroatwithapenknife.TheassembledroguesandturnkeysthoughttheirJonathandeadatlast,andrejoicedexceedinglytherein.StraightwaythepoetofNewgate'sGarlandleapedintoverse: