Thegayyoungparty,touchedandsubdued,passedoutquietlywiththeothers.ButIdalingered.
　　"Whoisthatoldgentleman?"sheaskedofaladynearher.
　　"ThatisMr.Eltinge——Mr.JamesEltinge,"wasthereply.
　　Idapassedslowlytowardsthedoor,lookingwistfullybackattheoldman,whostoppedtogreetcheerilyoneandanother.
　　"Nooneneedbeafraidtospeaktohim,"shethought."Hiseverylookandtoneshowhimtobekindandsincere.I'llseehimbefore——before"——sheshuddered,andscarcelydaredtoputherdarkpurposeinthoughtinthepresenceofonewhohadlivedpatientlyatGod'swillfornearlyacentury.
　　Shesteppedoutintothenightandwatchedforhiscoming.Inamomentortwotheoldgentlemanalsopassedout,andstoodwaitingforhiscarriage.
　　Timidlyapproachinghim,shesaid,"Mr.Eltinge,mayIspeakwithyou?"
　　Hesteppedwithheralittleasidefromtheothers.
　　"Mr.Eltinge,"shecontinued,inavoicethattrembledandwasbrokenbyherfeeling,"Iamoneoftheyoungpeopleyouspoketothisevening.I'mintrouble——deeptrouble.IwantsuchaFriendasyoudescribedto-night."
　　Hetookherhandandsaid,inaheartyvoice,"Godblessyou,mychild.Hewantsyoumorethanyouwanthim."
　　"MayIcomeandseeyouto-morrowmorning?"askedIda,hurriedly,forhistonesofkindness,forwhichherheartwasfamishing,werefastbreakingdownherself-control.
　　"I'llcomeandseeyou,"washispromptandcordialresponse.
　　"No,"shefaltered,"letitbeasIwish.Pleasetellmewheretofindyou."
　　Ashefinisheddirectingher,shestoopeddownandkissedhishand,andthenvanishedinthedarkness.
　　"PerhapsI'mnotyetacumbereroftheground,"murmuredtheoldman,wipingasuddenmoisturefromhiseyes.
　　ChapterXXXIX.VanBerg'sEscape.
　　Idafoundtheparty,onwhosecompanionshipshehadinameasureforcedherself,waitingandcallingforher.Thewordsoftheoldgentlemanhadinspiredthemwithkinderandmoreconsideratefeeling.
　　"I'mcoming,"sheanswered;"don'twaitforme,I'llkeepnearyou."
　　Astheyhadalreadyobservedherevidentwishtobelefttoherself,theycompliedwithherrequest.
　　Theicycalmofherdespairwasnowbroken.
　　"Godblesshimforhiskindness!"shemurmured,and"Godblesshimforhishearty,hopefulwords;theymaysavemeyet,"andshefollowedtheothers,cryingsoftlytoherselflikealittlechild.
　　Itwouldseemasifeverywarmtearfellonherheart,thathadbeensohardanddesperatebefore,sorapidlydiditmeltatthethoughtoftheoldman'skindness.
　　Butbeforeshereachedthehotelshebegantogrowexcessivelyweary.Shehadnotonlyovertaxedherpowersofendurance,buthadover-estimatedthem.
　　Atlast,asshewasabouttoaskhercompanionstowalkmoreslowly,lestsheshouldbeleftalonebytheroadsideinherweakness,sheheardthesoundofstrong,rapidsteps.
　　"WhereisMissMayhew?"wastheanxiousqueryofavoicethatmadeherheartboundandcolorcomeintoherface,evenatthemomentofalmostmortalweaknessandweariness.
　　"HereisMissMayhew,"saidoneofthehalf-grownyouths."Shepreferstowalkbyherself,itseems."
　　"Thankyou,"repliedVanBerg,decisively."Iwillseehersafelyhome;"andthepartwenton,leavinghimfacetofacewiththemaidenwhomhenowbelievedhehadverygreatlywronged,andwho,hefearedmightyetprovedherselfcapableofaterriblecrime.
　　Shestoodbeforehimwithbowedhead.Inherweaknessandagitationshetrembledsoviolentlythateveninthestarlighthecouldnothelpseeingherdistress,anditfilledhimatoncewithpityandalarm.
　　"Youareill,MissMayhew,"hesaid,anxiously.
　　"Yes,"sheanswered;then,consciousofhergrowingneed,shesaid,appealingly,"Mr.VanBerg,withallmyfaultsIamatleastawoman.Pleasehelpmehome.I'msoweakandwearythatI'malmostreadytofaint."
　　Heseizedherhandandfalteredhoarsely,"MissMayhew,youhavenot——youhavenottakenthatdrug——"
　　Shewassovividlyconsciousofherowndarksecret,andsoimpressedbyhispowertodiscoveralltheevilinhernature,thatsherepliedinalowtone,"Hush.Iunderstandyou.Notyet."
　　"ThankGod!"heejaculated,withsuchadeepsighofreliefthatshelookedathiminsurprise.Thehedrewherhandwithinhisarm,andwearyasshewas,shecouldnothelpnotingthatittrembledasifhehadanague.
　　Forafewmomentstheywalkedonwithoutspeaking.Thentheartistaddressedher.
　　"MissMayhew——"
　　"Mr.VanBerg,"shesaid,hastilyinterruptinghim."Sparemeto-night.I'mtoowearyeventothink."
　　Againtheywalkedoninsilence,buthisagitationwasevidentlyincreasing.
　　"Letmeenterbythatsidedoor,please,"shesaidastheyapproachedthehotel.
　　"MissMayhew,"hebeganinalow,hurriedtone,"Imustspeak.Yousaidyouwereawoman.AssuchIappealtoyou.Awomanmay,attimes,havenopityonherself,butitrarelyhappensthatsheispitilesstowardsothers,anditissaidthatsheisoftenthemostgenerousandmercifultowardsthosewhohavewrongedher.Ihavewrongedyoucruellyandunpardonably.Iknewitassoonasyouenteredtheparlorlastevening.Thereisnoexcuseforme——I
　　willneverforgivemyself,butIdomostsincerelyapologizeandaskyourforgiveness.MissMayhew,Iappealtoyourgenerosity——I
　　appealtoyourwoman'sheart.IfyoushouldconsummatetheawfulpurposewhichIfearhasbeeninyourmind,Ishouldgomadwithremorse.Youwoulddestroymeassurelyasyourself.Pardonmeforspeakingthus,butIfearsogreatly——OGod!canshehavealreadycommittedthefatalact?"
　　Ida'sovertaxedpowershadgivenway,andshewouldhavefallenhadhenotsustainedher.Hiswordshadoverwhelmedher,and,takeninconnectionwiththosespokenbyoldMr.Eltinge,hadgivenaglimpseoftheawfulabyssintowhichshehadwellnighplunged,draggingothers,perhaps,afterher.Sherecoiledfromitallsostronglythatshebecamesickandfaintfromdread;andVanBergwascompelledtosupporthertoarusticseatnearthepath.Hewasbouttoleaveherinordertoobtainassistance,whensheputherhandonhisarmandgasped:
　　"Wait——givemetime——I'llsoonbebetter.Donotcallanyone,I
　　beg."
　　"Letmequietlybringyoualittlewine,then,frommyownroom?"
　　Shebowedherassent.
　　Thestimulantsoonrevivedher.Hestoodathersidewaitingwithintenseanxietytillsheshouldspeak.Atlastsheroseslowlyandweakly,sayinginalowtone:
　　"Mr.VanBerg,IsupposeIhavenowreachedthelowestdepthinyourestimation,butIcannothelpit.IadmitthatIwasinanawfulanddesperatemood,andwasabouttoactaccordingly.Thereisnouseoftryingtohidanythingfromyou.Butagoodmanspokekindlytometo-night,andtheblackspellisbroken.ThereisthedrugIpurchased,"andshehandedhimthephialoflaudanum.
　　"Youmanynowdismissallfears.Iwillexplainfurtheranothertimeifyoucaretohear.Pleaseletmegoinbymyself."
　　"Pardonmeforsaying,no,"heanswered,gently."IthinkIambestableto-nighttojudgeofwhatisright.Youmustgoinatthemainentrance,andonmyarm.HenceforwardIshalltreatyouwithrespect,andIintendthatallothersshallalso."
　　Withalowsob,shesaid,impulsively:"Oh,Mr.VanBerg,forgiveme!butthatwasmymotive.Imeanttocompelyourrespect;andIthoughttherewasnootherway.IthoughtthatifIwenttomygrave,insteadofgoingtothemanwhoattemptedyourlife,youwouldseethatyouhadmisjudgedme.HereisaletterwhichIwroteyou.Itshouldgowiththepoison.ItisallthatIcanofferinexcuseorextenuation."
　　"GoodGod!"heexclaimed."Ihaveescapedaworsefatethanyourswouldhavebeen,"andshefelthisarmagaintremblingviolentlybeneathherhand.
　　"Ididnotthinkyouwouldcaresogreatly,"shemurmured.
　　"MissMayhew,"hesaid,inadeepvoice,"promiseme,beforeGod,thatyouwillneverharborsuchathoughtagain."
　　"IhopeInevermay,"shereplied,despondently,"butI'velostallconfidenceinmyself,Mr.VanBerg."
　　"Poorchild!WhatabruteI'vebeen,"hemuttered;butsheheardhim.
　　Asthemountedthepiazza,theymetStantonandMrs.Mayhew.
　　"Why,Ida,"exclaimedhermother,"Ithoughtyouwereinyourroom."
　　"Iwalkedtothevillagewithapartyofyoungpeople,"washerhastyreply,"andMr.VanBergmetmeonourreturn.I'mverytired.Good-night,"andshewentdirectlytoherroom.
　　Theartist'smannerinpartingwaspoliteandrespectful,andbythissimpleact,hedidmuchtoreinstateherinthesocialpositionshehadwellnighlost,throughhersupposedinfatuationwiththemanwhowasnowasynonyminthehouseforeverythingthatwasvile.
　　Onthefollowingday,throughtheaidofMissBurton,hecausedtheimpressiontobegenerallygiventhatMissMayhewhadbeenexceedinglymortifiedthatshehadeverassociatedwithsuchavillainasSibleyhadshownhimselftobe,andstillmorepainedtothinkthatsheshouldbeimaginedcapableofanyotherfeelingsavecontemptforhim,afterlearningofhisdisgracefulwordsandactions.Theseexplanationsgaveanentirelynewaspecttothematter,andsufficientlyaccountedforherincreasingindispositionandratheroddbehavior.Indeed,peopleplacedittohercreditthatshewassodeeplyaffected,andwereallthemoreinclinedtomakeamendsforhavingmisjudgedher.
　　Mrs.Mayhewaccompaniedherdaughtertoherroom,butIdatoldherthatshewastoowearytoanswerasinglequestion,andthatshewishedtobealone.
　　"Van,mayIspeakwithyou?"Stantonhadasked,anxiously.
　　Whentheyweresufficientlyfarfromthehousetoensureprivacyhebeganagain:"Van,what'sthematter?Youwereaswhiteasifyouhadseenaghost."
　　"I'mnotafraidofghosts,"saidtheartist,almoststernly,"buttherearethingswhichImortallyfear,andchiefamongtheseareblunders——stupid,irrationalacts,butinvolvingresultsthatmaybebeyondremedy.YouandIhavejustmadeonethatmighthavecostusdear.Ofcourseyouwilltreatyourcousinhereafterasyouplease,butImostdecidedlyrequestthatyoudoandsaynothingthatinvolvesanyreferencetome.Iwishhertoformheropinionsofmyattitudetowardshersolelyfromherownobservation."
　　"Ithinkyouareatriflesevere,butIsupposeIdeserveit,"saidStanton,stiffly.
　　"IadmitthatIamstronglymoved.Idonotexcusemyselfintheleast;andyetyouknowIwasmisled.ImusttellyouplainlythatIdaMayhewisnotagirltobetrifledwith.Ifearhermotherwhollyfailsinunderstandingher,andfromwhatyouyourselfhavetoldmeofherfather,shehasnohelpthere.Shehasnobrother,andyoushouldtaketheplaceofone,asfaraspossible.TheonlyrightIhavetospeakthusisonthegroundofthegreatwrongIhavedoneher,andforwhichIcanneverforgivemyself.MissMayhewandIarecomparativestrangersandourbriefsummersojournherewillsoonbeover.Bymereaccidentfactshavecometomyknowledgeto-nightwhichproveinthemostemphaticmanner,thatsherequireskind,unobtrusive,butvigilantcare.Ineverknewofagirlwhoneededabrothermorethanshe.Sheisnotbadatheart——farfromit,butsheisfearfullyrash,andsheiswarpedbyeducation,oritslack,andbythevileliteratureshehasread,tosuchadegreethatshecannotseethingsintheirtruemoralaspects.I'llgiveyouaplainhint,andthenyoumustnotaskmeanythingfurther,forbothyouandImustbeabletosaythatthehistoryofmylastinterviewwasnevergiven.Myhintisthis——I
　　donotbelievethatself-destructioneverappearedtoMissMayhewasanawfulandrevoltingcrime.Heractuallife,hitherto,hasbeenaroundoffrivolity.Onlyonthestageorintheabsurdwoesofherstiltedheroesandheroines,hasshegivenanyattentiontothesadandserioussideoflife.Menandwomencommittingsuicidetoslowmusicisthechiefstockintradeinsomequarters,andwhenserioustroublecametoherthisdevil'scomedyhadbeenrobbedofitshorrorbytheclap-trapofstageeffect.ThatistheonlywayinwhichIcanaccountforitallorexcuseher.ButthefactthatsherecoiledfromSibleysostronglyandfeltthedisgraceofherassociationsokeenly,provesthatshepossessesatruewoman'snature.But,asIsaid,sheneedsabrother'scare.Youarenearestofkin,Stanton,andyoumustgiveit.Indeed,Ik,pardonthefreedomofanoldfriendwhomcircumstanceshavestrangelymixedupinthisaffair,Ithinkyouarehonor-boundtogivethisbrother'sprotection;andyouAREamanofhonorifyoupassyourword."
　　"Doyou——doyouthinkthereisstillanydangerthatshewill——"
　　"No;thedangerispassedforthisoccasion;butyoumustguardherfromdeepdespondencyorstrongprovocationinthefuture."
　　"Thetaskyourequireisadifficultone.Idoubtwhethersheeverforgivesmeeven."
　　"Ithinkshewill.Ihavealsolearnedto-nightthatgenuinekindnessandsympathyhavegreatweightwithher.Pledgemeyourwordthatyouwilldothebestyoucan."
　　"Well,Van,IsupposeIought——Iwill.Butyourwordshavequiteunnervedme."
　　"Unnerved!I'mworsethanthat.IfeelasifIhadpassedthroughamonth'sillness.Neverbreatheawhisperofallthistoanyone.
　　Good-night."Andhestrodeawayinthedarkness.
　　Havingreachedasecludedspot,hegroundthephialoflaudanumthatIdahadgivenhimunderhisheelwiththevindictivenesswithwhichhewouldstampoutthelifeofapoisonousreptile.
　　ThenhereturnedtohisroomandtookoutIda'sletter,buthishandstrembledsothathecouldscarcelyopenit.Asheread,theytrembledstillmore,andhisfacebecamealmostasheninitshue.
　　Hewassoappalledatwhatmighthavehappenedthathisheartseemedforasecondtoceaseitspulsations.
　　"GreatGod!"hesaid,inahoarsewhisper——"whatanescapeI'vehad!"
　　Hourafterhourpassed,buthesatmotionless,staringattheabyssintowhichhehadalmoststumbled.
　　Thesongofabirdwithoutremindedhimthatmorningwasnear.Hedrewthecurtainandsawthatthedawnwasreddeningthesky.
　　"ThankGod,"hecried,fervently,"fortheescapewebothhavehad!"
　　Then,inordertothrowoffthehorriblenightmarethathadoppressedhim,hestolequietlyoutintothefresh,cool,dewyair.
　　ChapterXL.VanBerg'sConclusions.
　　VanBergknewthattheword"discouragement"wasinthedictionary,andhesupposedheunderstooditsmeaning,butIdaMayhew'sfarewellletterprovedtohimthathewasmistaken.Therearesomethingsweneverlearnuntiltaughtbytheseverelogicofeventsandexperience.Therehadbeennothinginhisownhistoryorcharacterthatenabledhimtorealizethedrearysinkingofheart——theparalyzingdespondencyofthosewhobelieveorfearthattheyhavebeendefeatedandthwartedinlife.Throughtheweaknessesanddangersofearlylifehehadbeenshieldedwithlovingvigilance.
　　Hismindandtastehadbeenfosteredwithuntiringcare,andyeteverynewdevelopmentpraisedasunstintedlyasifallwereofnativegrowth.Fortunatelyheaboundedinvirileforceandgoodsense,andsograduallypassedfromself-complacencyandconceittotheself-relianceandcourageofastrongman,who,whileawareofhisabilityandvantage-ground,alsorecognizesthefactthatnothingcantaketheplaceofskillfullydirectedindustryinwell-defineddirections.Theconfidencethathadbeencreatedbythefavorableconditionsofhislothadbeenincreasedfarmorebytheknowledgethathecouldgooutintotheworldandholdhisownamongmenonthecommongroundofhardworkandinnatestrength.
　　Heexpectedesteem,respectfulcourtesy——andevenadmiration——asamatterofcourse.Theywereinparthisbirthrightandpartlytheresultofhisownachievement,andhereceivedthemasquietlyashiscustomaryincome.Theirpresencewaslikehisexcellenthealth,towhichhescarcelygaveathought,buttheirwithdrawalwouldhaveaffectedhimkeenly,althoughhehadneverconsideredthepossibilityofsuchathing.
　　Whatinhimwasconfidenceandself-reliancehadbeeninIdalittleelsethanvanityandpride,andthese,circumstanceshadenabledhimtowounduntodeath.Hehad,fromthefirst,calmlyandphilosophicallyrecognizedthefactthathemustbreakdown,inpart,theChinesewallofherself-approval,beforeanyelevatingideasandennoblingimpulsescouldenter,andasmuchthroughunforeseeneventsasbyhiseffort,thishadbeendonetoadegreethatthreatenedresultsthatappalledhim.Hehadbeentaughtthoroughlythatfaultyandignorantassheundoubtedlywas,shewasbynomeansshalloworweak.Tohismindthedepthofherdespondencywasthemeasureofherpowertorealizeherimperfection,forhenowsupposedherdepressionwascausedimmediatelybythefactthatshehadbeensoharshlymisjudged,butinthemainbecauseofherresemblancetotheflowerhehadtossedawayandwhichhenowremembered,withdeepsatisfaction,wasinhisnote-book,readytoaidinthereassuringandencouragingworkuponwhichhewaseagertoenter.
　　Hedidnotdreamthatbytacticsthereverseofthosepursuedbyhernumerousadmirershehadwonherheart,andthattheapparenthopelessnessofherpassionhadoutweighedallotherburdens.
　　Herkindestsentimenttowardshim,hebelieved,wasthecoldrespect,mingledwithfearanddislike,inwhichaseverbuthonestcriticissometimesheld;andasherecalledhiscoursetowardsherhenowfeltthatshehadlittlereasonforeventhisdegreeofregard.
　　Hehadawakenedhersleepingmindnottoanatmosphereofkindnessandsympathylikethatinwhichthebeautyinthefabledcastlehadrevived,buttoabitingfrostofharshcriticismandunjustsuspicion.Thatthereseemed,atthetime,goodreasonfortheseonhispartdidnotmakeitanyeasierforhertobearthem;
　　andinthefactthathehadsomisunderstoodandwrongedher,hisconfidenceinhisownsagacityreceivedtheseverestshockithadeverexperienced.Hefeltthathecouldnevergoforwardinlifewithhisoldassuredtreadandmanner.
　　MoreoverthekindnessandrespectwhichhenowproposedtoshowIdawerecausedmorebycompunctionandfearthanbyanywarmerandfriendliermotive.Hewishedtomakeamendsforhisinjustice,toreassurethegirl,tosmoothovermattersandextricatehimselffromhisfatefulofficeofcritic.Thisexperimentingwithhumansoulsforartisticpurposeswasamuchmoreseriousmatterthanhecouldhaveimagined.Hehadentereduponitasapartofhissummerrecreation,buthadfoundhimselfplayingwithforcesthathadwell-nighdestroyedhimaswellasthesubjectofhisfanciedskill.Hereafterheproposedtoilluminefaceswiththought,feeling,andspiritualbeautyoncanvasonly,sothat,incaseheshouldbecomediscouragedordisgustedwithhiseffortsandthrowtheworkaside,theremightbenosuchtragicprotestasIdaMayhewhadalmostoffered.Whilehepitied,andnowinacertainsenserespectedher,shefilledhimwiththeuncomfortabledreadandnervousapprehensionwhichrashandunbalancednaturesalwaysinspire.ThechargehehadgivenStantonrevealedhisopinion.
　　Shewasonewhomustbewatchedover,notwiththetendercareandsympathythathehopedtobestowonJennieBurton,butwithkind,yetfirmandwaryvigilance,inordertopreventactiondangerousbothtoherselfandothers;andaheavy,anxioustaskhebelievedsuchcarewouldbe.
　　Hisaimwasnottohealthewoundshehadmadebyadecidedmanifestationofkindnessandrespectwhichshouldbeassincereaspossibleinviewofhisknowledgeofherfaults;andifherpresentgoodimpulseswereanythingmorethanpassingmoods,toencouragethem,asfarashecould,andthenretirefromthesceneassoonascircumstancespermitted.Hehadbeentoothoroughlyfrightenedtowishtocontinueintheroleofaspiritualreformer,andhehadagrowingperceptionthat,withhispresentmotiveandknowledge,theworkwasinfinitelybeyondhim.Hebegantofearthathewaslikecertainphysicians,whoseskillconsistschieflyintheirpowertoaggravatediseaseratherthantocureit.HehadfoundIdaavain,sillygirl,apparently.Hehadpartedthepreviouseveningfromadesperatewoman,capableofself-destruction,andherletterinseparablylinkedhimwiththemarvellouschange.
　　Thushegainedtheuneasyimpressionthattherewastoomuchnitro-glycerineinhumannatureingeneral,andinIdaMayhewinparticular,forhimtousesuchmaterialinworkingoutmetaphysicalandartisticproblems.
　　Attheendofhislongmorningwalkheconcluded:
　　"Poorchild!afterhereyeswereopenedshecouldnothelpseeingagreatdealthatwasexceedinglydepressing.Inregardtoherparents,sheisfarworseoffthaniforphaned.Inregardtoherself,shefindsthatherbestyearsaregone,andshehasneithercultureofmindnorheart——thatherbeautyisbutamaskthatcannotlongconcealtheenduringimperfectionanddeformityofhercharacter.
　　SheassociatesthesediscoverieswithmebecauseIfirstdisturbedhervanity;butthebeautyofJennieBurton'slife,thedastardlybehaviorofSibley,andthedeephumiliationreceivedthroughhim,withothercircumstances,haveallcombinedtobringabouttherevelation.Andyet,confounditall!IdidactthestupidPhariseeonseveraloccasions,andImightaswellownitbothtoherandmyself.APhariseeisafool'perse.'Well,I'msorrytosay,heroutlookforlifeisdarkatbest,evenifshewerenotsofearfullyrashandunbalanced.AsitisIexpecttohearsomesadstoryofIdaMayhewbeforemanyyearspass.I'lltrytobrightenafewdaysforher,however,beforeIgototown,andthenthefartherwecandriftapartthebetter.Howdelightful,incontrast,isthesenseofrestandsecuritythatJennieBurtonalwaysinspiresinspiteofhersadmystery."
　　ChapterXLI.TheProtestantConfessional.
　　Ida'ssleepwasalmostasdeepandquiet,andwhenhermotherstoleintolookatherfromtimetotimethefollowingmorning,herfacewasascolorless,asifshehadtakenthedrugwhichVanBerg'sheelhadgroundintotheearth;butMrs.Mayhewobservedwithsatisfactionthatherrespirationwasasregularandnaturalasthatofalittlechild.Wrongednaturewill,toacertainextent,forgivetheyoungandrestoretothemthepricelesstreasuresofhealthandstrengththeythrowaway.Idahadbeenasadspendthriftofbothlately,butnowthattheevilspellwasbroken,thepoorwornbodyandmindsankintoalongandmercifuloblivion,duringwhichanewlifebegantoflowbackfromthe,asyet,unexhaustedfountainofyouth.
　　Sheawokelateinthemorning,anditwassomemomentsbeforeshecouldrecallallthathadhappened.Then,assherememberedherdreadfulpurpose,therecameastrongrushofgratefulfeelingthatsheHADawakened——thatlifeanditsopportunitieswerestillhers.
　　Foramomentsheportrayedtoherselfwhatshehadsupposedwouldhavehappenedthatday——sheimaginedherselflyingwhiteandstill——thepeoplecomingandgoingontiptoeandspeakinginhushedtones,asifdeathwerebutatroubledandeasilybrokensleep;
　　whiletheylookedatherwithfacesinwhichcuriosityandhorrorwereequallyblended;shesawherfatherstaringatherinutterdespair,andhermothertrying,inapitifullyhelplessway,tothinkhowappearancesmightstillbekeptupandalittleshredofrespectabilityretained.Shesawtheartistlookingatherwithstern,whiteface,andheardhimmutter:"Whatwereyoutomethatyoushouldcommitthisawfuldeedandlayitatmydoor,thusblightingalifefulloftherichestpromisewithyourhorribleshadow?"
　　"ThankGod,thankGod!"shecriedpassionately."It'salllikeadreadfuldreamandneverhappened."
　　"Why,Ida,whatISthematter?"saidMrs.Mayhew,cominginhastily.
　　"Ihadabaddream,"saidIda,withsomethinglikealowsob.
　　"Ida,Iwantyoutoseethedoctor,to-day.Youhaven'tactedlikeyourselfforovertwoweeks."
　　"Mother,whattimeisit?"
　　"Teno'clockandafter."
　　"Pleasedrawthecurtain.Iwanttoseethesunlight."
　　"Thesunisveryhotto-day."
　　"Isit?"Thenunderherbreathshemurmured:"ThankGod,soitis."
　　Shearoseandbeganmakinghertoiletslowly,forthelanguorofherlongsleepandexcessivefatiguewasonherstill.Butthoughtwasverybusy.ThesubjectuppermostinhermindwasthepromisedvisittooldMr.Eltinge,andsheresolvedtogoatonce,ifitwereapossiblething.Mrs.Mayhewhavingagainreferredtoherpurposeofsendingforaphysician,Idaturnedtoherandsaid,decisively:
　　"Mother,doyounotrealizethatIamnotachild?WhatistheuseofsendingforadoctorwhenIwillnotseehim?Iask——IinsistthatyouandMr.Stantoninterferewithmenolonger."
　　"Mygoodness,Ida,shallnotI,yourownmother,takeanycareofyou?"
　　"Itistoolateinthedaynowtocommencetakingcareofme.Youhavepermittedmetogrowupsowantinginmentalandmoralculturethatyounaturallysuspectmeofthevilestaction.HenceforthItakecareofmyself,andactformyself;"andsheabruptlylefttheroomandwenttoMr.Burleigh'soffice,requestingthatthelightphaetonandasafehorse,suchasshecoulddrive,shouldbesentaroundtohedooratonce.
　　"MissIda,you'venotbeenwell.Doyouthinkyouhadbettergooutintheheatoftheday?"askedMr.Burleigh,kindly.
　　Shelookedathimamoment,andthensaid,alittleimpulsively,"Mr.Burleigh,Ithankyouforspeakingtomeinthatway.Yes,Iwishtogo,andthinkIshallbebetterforit."
　　Assheenteredthelargehall,VanBerg,whohadbeenonthewatch,rosetogreether,butshemerelybowedpolitelyanddistantly,andpassedatonceintothediningroom.Afterahastybreakfastshereturnedtoherroombyasidepassage,andpreparedforherexpedition,payingnoheedtohermother'sexpostulations.
　　VanBergwasonthepiazzawhenshecamedown,butshepassedhimswiftly,givinghimnotimetospeaktoher,andspringingintothephaeton,droveaway.Hisanxietywassodeepthathetookpainstonotetheroadshetook,andthenwaitedimpatientlyforherreturn.
　　Afterdrivingseveralmiles,andmakingafewinquiriesbytheway,Idafoundherselfapproachinganold-fashionedhousesecludedamongthehills.
　　Itwasonashadysideroad,intowhichbutfeweddiesfromtheturbulentcurrentofworldlylifefoundtheirway.
　　Thegatestoodhospitablyopen,andshedroveinundertheshadeofanenormoussilverpoplar,whoseleavesflutteredinthebreathlesssummerair,asifeachonepossessedaseparatelifeofitsown.
　　AsshedrewneartothehouseshesawoldMr.Eltingecomingfromhisgardentogreether.
　　"Ihadaboutgivenyouup,"hesaid,"andsoyouaredoublywelcome.
　　Oldpeoplearelikechildren,anddon'tbeardisappointmentsverywell."
　　"Didyoureallywanttoseemeverymuch?"Idaasked,asheassistedhertoalight.
　　"Yes,mychild,"hereplied,gravely,holdingherhandinastrong,warmgrasp."Ifelt,fromyourmannerlastevening,youweresincere.YoucomeonanerrandthatismostpleasingtomyMaster,andIwelcomeyouinhisnameaswellasmyown."
　　"Perhapsifyouknewallyouwouldnotwelcomeme,"shesaidinalowtone,turningaway.
　　"OnlyforonecausecouldIwithdrawmywelcome,"hesaid,stillmoregravely.
　　"Whatisthat?"sheaskedinalowertone,notdaringtolookathim.
　　"Ifyouarenotsincere,"hereplied,lookingatherkeenly.
　　Givinghimherhandagain,andlookingupintohisface,shesaid,earnestly:
　　"Mr.Eltinge,Iamsincere.Icouldnotbeotherwisewithyouafteryourwordslastnight.Icometoyouingreattrouble,withaburdenedheartandconscience,andIshalltellyoueverything,andthenyoumustadviseme,forIhavenootherfriendtowhomI
　　cango."
　　"Oh,yes,youhave,mychild,"saidtheoldman,cheerily."TheOnetheycalledthe'Friendofsinners'ishereto-daytowelcomeyou,andismorereadytoreceiveandadviseyouthanIam.I'mnotgoingtodoanythingforyoubutleadyoutohimwhosaid,'Comeuntome,allyethatareheavyladen;'and,'WhosoevercomethIwillinnowisecastout.'"
　　"Howmuchyoumakethosewordsmean,asyouspeakthem,"falteredIda."Youalmostleadmetofeelthatnotfarawaythereissomeone,goodandtender-hearted,whowilltakemebythehandwithreassuringkindness,asyouhave."
　　"Andyouareright.Why,blessyou,mychild,religiondoesn'tdousmuchgooduntilwelearntoknowourLordas'goodandtender-hearted,'
　　andsonear,too,thatwecanspeaktohim,wheneverwewish,asthedisciplesdidinoldtimes.Sodon'tbeonebitdiscouraged;
　　see,I'llfastenyourhorserighthereintheshade,andbyandbyI'llhavehimfed,foryoumustspendthedaywithus,andnotgobackuntilthecooloftheevening.Ithasn'tseemedhospitablethatyoushouldhavestoodsolonghereunderthetrees;andI
　　didn'tmeanthatyoushould,butthingsneverturnoutasweexpect."
　　"Itisoftenwelltheydon't,"thoughtIda,asshelookedaroundthequietandquaintlybeautifulspot,towhichakindProvidencehadbroughther.Itseemedasifherburdenalreadywerebeginningtogrowlighter.
　　"Nowcomein,mychild,andtellmeallyourtrouble."
　　"Please,Mr.Eltinge,mayInotgobackwithyouintothegarden?"
　　"Yes,whynot?Wecantalktherejustaswell;"andheledhertoarusticseatinashadywalk,whilefromatool-housenearhebroughtoutforhimselfachairthathadlostitsback.
　　"I'llleanagainstthispear-tree,"hesaid."It'syoungandstrong,andowesmeagoodturn.Now,mychild,tellmewhatyouthinkbest,andthenI'lltellyouofOnewhosewordandtouchcureseverytrouble."
　　ButpoorIdahadsuddenandstrongmisgivings.Asshesawtheoldgentlemansurroundedbyhisflowersandfruits,assheglancedhesitatinglyintohisserene,quietface,fromwhichthefireandpassionofyouthhadlongsincefaded,shethought."SoAdammighthavelookedhadheneversinnedbutgrownoldinhisbeautifulgarden.Thisagedman,wholivesnearerheaventhanearth,can'tunderstandmywicked,passionateheart.Mystorywillonlyshockandpainhim,andit'sashametopollutethisplacewithsuchastory."
　　"Youspokeasifyouwerealoneandfriendlessintheworld,"saidMr.Eltinge,tryingtohelphermakeabeginning."Areyouanorphan?"
　　"No,"saidIda,withrisingcolor,andavertingherface."Myparentsarebothliving."
　　"Andyetyoucannotgotothem?Poorchild!Thatistheworstkindoforphanage."
　　"Oh,Mr.Eltinge,thisplaceseemslikethegardenofEden,andI
　　ambringingintoitaheartfulloftroubleandwickedness."