"Mr.VanBerg,Iamweary,andIimagineyouaretoo.IthinkI
  willsaygood-night."
  "Iscarcelywonderthatyouarefatigued.Youhavehadatryingday."
  "Ithasbeenahorridday,"shesaid,emphatically.
  "Itmighthaveendedmuchworse,nevertheless."
  "Possibly,"sheadmittedwithashrug.
  "Youhavemorereasontocongratulateyourselfthanyouimagine,MissMayhew.Eventhatdisagreeablesouvenirofourmorningperil,yourlameness,hasdisappeared,andyoumighthavebeenmaimedforlife."
  "Mylameness,likemycourage,waschieflyafraudtobeginwith,andsoondisappeared;butIhaveothersouvenirsofthatoccasionthatIcannotgetridofsoeasily."
  "IfIamoneofthem,youareright,MissMayhew;Ishallholdyoutoouragreementthismorning.Youputmeonmygoodbehavior——haveInotbehavedwell?"
  "Yes,betterthanIhave.Iwasnotreferringtoyoupersonally,buttocertainmemories."
  "Weagreedtoletby-gonesbeby-gones."
  "Butothersarenotpartiestothisagreement,andeveryreferencetotheaffairisodioustome."
  "Ishallmakenofurtherreferencetoit,andyoumustbefairenoughnottopunishmefortheactsofothers."
  "YoualsodespisemeinyourheartofmycoursetowardsMissBurtonthisevening."
  "IfIdespisedyouwouldIhavesoughtyoursocietythisevening?"
  "Idonotknow.Idon'tunderstandyou,ifyouwillpermitmybluntness."
  "Possiblyyoudon'tunderstandyourself,MissMayhew."
  "IunderstandthatIhavehadamiserableday,andIhopeImayneverseeanotherlikeit.Good-night,sir."
  ChapterXIII.Nature'sBrokenPromise.
  VanBerghadbeenlefttohimselfbutalittletimebeforeStantonandMr.Burleighcameoutuponthepiazza,andthethreegentlemensatdownforaquietchat.
  "Well,"remarkedminehost,withasighofreliefsuchasapilotmightheaveaftertakinghisshiproundaperilouspoint;"well,thankstoMissBurton'sgoodsense,theaffairhasendedwithoutanytrouble.Inahouselikethis,'Satanisfindingmischiefstill'
  whenevermybackisturned,andsometimeshethreatenstogetuparowrightundermynose,asinthisinstance.Iwasa'blarstedfool,'asourEnglishfriendshaveit,nottoknowthatMrs.
  Chint'sdrama,althoughbeginningincomedy,mightendintragedyofmylosingsomegoodpayingboarders.StillfurtherdidIdemonstratethelengthofmyearsbyevenimaginingitpossiblethatMissBurtonwouldtakefivehundred,orfivehundredthousanddollarsinanysuchcircumstances.Butthewholethingwasdoneinajiffy,andMrs.Chintswaspossessedtohaveher'tableauvivant.'Livelypicturewasn'tit?Still,ifMissMayhew,whenappealedtobyMrs.Chints,hadconfirmedmydoubts,Iwouldhavetriedtostopthenonsenseatanycost."
  "DidMissMayhewadvisethestep?"askedStanton.
  "Oh,no!Shewasnon-committal.Sheactedasifitwerenoneofheraffair,saveasitmightaffordheralittleamusement.Buttheserowsarenolightmatterstouspoorpublicans,whomustpleaseeveryoneandkeepthewholemenagerieinorder.Mr.Chintswasswearingupanddownhisroomthathehadbeenmadeafoolof.
  Mrs.Chintswasforleavingto-morrowmorning,declaringthatshewouldnotenduresuchairsfromaschool-teacher.Theyarerichandhaveanumberoffriendswhoarecomingsoon,andsomymindwasfullof'strangeoaths'also,atmyprospectiveloss,whenthisblessedlittlewomanappears,tapsattheirdoor,entersliketheangelintothelion'sden,andshutstheirmouthsbysomemagicallherown.Andnowthey'regoingtostay;Mr.ChintswillgivethefivehundredtotheChildren'sAidSociety,allissereneandI'mhappy,somuchsothatI'llsmokeanotherofyourgoodcigars,Mr.Stanton."
  "Certainly,half-a-dozenifyouwish.Howdoyouimagineshequietedtheunrulybeasts?"
  "Oh,Isupposeshegotaroundthemthroughthechild——somewhatasshewonovermywifethisafternoonbymeansofourcrossbaby.
  It'steething,youknow——andyethowshouldyouyoungchapsknowanythingaboutbabies!Nomatter,yourtimewillcome.Thispromenadingthepiazzawithlovelycreatureswhohavebeenhalftheafternoonattheirtoiletsisallverynice;butwaittillyouhaveweatheredinnumerablesquallsinthedeadofnight——thenyou'lllearnthatteething-timeinahouseholdislikegoingaroundCapeHorn.Well,toreturnfromyourfuturetomypresent.Whensogood-naturedamanasIamgetsintoasympatheticmoodwitholdKingHerod,youcanimaginewhatastatethemother'snervesmustbeinwhohastostanditnightandday.ButasMissBurtonhadbeencommendedtomycare,IfeltthatIwasindutyboundtointroducehertomywifeandshowhersomeattention.SoIsaidtomywife,thisafternoon,'I'mgoingtobringayoungladyintoseeyou.'
  'DoyouthinkI'minaconditiontoentertaincompany?'sheasked,withafaintsuggestionofhardciderinhertone.'Well,mydear,'Iexpostulated,'itwasjustthesameyesterday,andwillbealittlemoresoto-morrow,andIfeelthatIshallberemissifIdelayanylonger.''Oh,verywell,'shesaid,asifitwereatooththatmustcomeoutsoonerorlater,'sincethemattermustbeattendedto,letushaveitoveratonce.'Butblessyou,itwasn'tovertillsupper-time.AsIbroughttheyoungladyin,thebabywakedoutofafive-minutes'napthathadcostaboutanhour'srocking,andIthoughttheroofwouldcomeoff.Mywifelookedcrossandworried——well,itwasprose,gentlemen,prose——notthepoetryoflife;andIsaidtomyself,'IsupposeIhaveaboutmadeitcertainthatthisyoungwomanwillliveanddieanoldmaidbygivingherthisglimpsebehindthescenes.Ithoughttheladiescouldgetonbetterwithoutmethanwithme,soIbowedmyselfout,gladtoescapethedin;andIsupposedMissBurtonwouldsayafewpleasantthingsinthedirectionofMrs.Burleigh,whichshe,poorwoman,mightnotbeabletohear,andthenshewouldbowherselfout,alsogladtoescape.AnhourandahalflaterIwentbacktoseeifIcouldnotcoaxmywifeawayforadrive,andwhatdoyousupposeIsaw?"
  "Thebabyinconvulsions,"saidStanton.
  "Giveitup,"addedVanBerg.
  "Sweettransformationscene;deephush;mywifeasleepinherrocking-chair,thebabyasleepinthearmsofMissBurton,whoheldupawarningfingeratmetobequiet.Butthemischiefwasdone;mywifestartedupandwasmortifiedbeyondmeasurethatshehadtreatedherguestsorudely.Thegoodfairy,however,wassogenuinelydelightedthatshehadquietedthebabyandgiventhetiredmotheralittlerest,thatwehadtocometotheconclusionthatshefoundpleasureinwaysthatareatrifleuncommon.Bysomemiracleorothershekeptthebabyasleep,andthenmywifeandItriedtoentertainheralittle,butweweretheonesthatwereentertained.Beforeweknewit,thesupper-bellrang,andthenI'mblessedifthelittlechapdidn'twakeupandgrinatusall.TothinkthenthatIshouldrewardherbylettingMr.Chintsslapherfacewithafive-hundred-dollarcheck!Iguesswe'llallknowbetternexttime."
  "Didshetellyouanythingfurtheraboutherhistoryorherconnections?"askedStanton.
  Mr.Burleighstrokedhisbeardandlookedratherblankforamoment.
  "NowIthinkofit,"heejaculated,"Ibehangedifshesaidawordaboutherself.AndnowIthinkfurtherofit,shesomehoworothergotMrs.Burleighandmyselfa-talking,andseemedsointerestedinusandwhatwesaid,thatIbehangedagainifwedidn'ttellherallweknowaboutourselves."
  "Sheimpresseseveryoneasbeingremarkablyfrank,andyetI
  thinkitwillbefoundthatsheispeculiarlyreticentinregardtoherself,"remarkedVanBergmusingly."Well,it'snotoftenI
  takepeopleontrust,butIhavegiventhisladymyentirerespectandconfidence."
  "Iassureyouthatthereisnotrustinthisbusiness,"saidMr.
  Burleigh,emphatically."Ican'taffordtoindulgeinsentiment,gentlemen;besides,itcouldn'tbeanymorebecominginmethaninTomChints.Iwouldn'ttakeanunprotected,unknownfemaleintomyhouseifshecamewithapairofwings.ButMissBurtonbringslettersthatestablishhercharacterasaladyastrulyasthatofanyotherwomaninthehouse.IoughttohavepreventedthisChintsbusiness,butthenfivehundredisanicelittleplum,andbeforeIpulledmyslowwitstogetherthethingwasdone."
  "Bytheway,Mr.Burleigh,"remarkedStanton,"IhearthatthepartieswhoarenowatmyfriendVanBerg'stablearesoontoleaveforthesea-shore.Canyougivemethreeseatsthereaftertheirdeparture?"
  "Certainly;putyoudownrightalongsideofMissBurton."
  "PerhapsVanBergfeelsthathehasthefirstclaimtosogoodaposition?"
  "No,Stanton,Ishallnotplaceastrawinyourway."
  "Youneverwereamanofstraw,Van.IfIwereseekingmorethantoenjoythesocietyofthisyounglady,whoseemstobeembodiedsunshine,Iwouldbesorrytohaveyouplaceyourselfintheway."
  "Sunshinebroughttoafocuskindlesevengreenwood,"remarkedVanBerg,withasignificantnodathisfriend.
  "Well,"saidMr.Burleigh,rising,"ifIhadnotfoundmymate,I'dbeaburrthatthatlittlewomanwouldn'tgetridofveryeasily.
  Good-night,gentlemen.I'llgiveeitheroneofyoumyblessing."
  "Good-night,Van,"saidStanton,also."I'mnotgoingtostayandlistentoyourabsurdpredictions.NeithershallIpermityoutoenjoyallbyyourselfthedelicatewineofthatwoman'swit.Whengoodthingsarepassinground,Iproposetohavemyshare.Mypresencecan'thurtyourprospects."
  "Andifitdid,Ik,doyouthinkmesuchachurlastotrytocrowdyouaway?"
  "That'smagnanimous.Isupposeyouandmycousincanmanagetokeepthepeacebetweenyou."
  "IthinkthechangewillbefarmoredisagreeabletoMissMayhewthantome."
  "Youareverypolitetosayso.Good-night."
  "Well,"musedVanBerg,whenlefttohimself;"I'vemadeprogressto-dayafterafashion.Wehavebeenquitethoroughlyintroduced——infact'throwntogether,'asfateandallherfriendswillhaveit.
  Imighthavebeenweeksingainingasmuchinsightintohercharacterascircumstanceshavegivenmeinafewbriefhours.Butwhatamiserablerevelationshehasmadeofherself——cowardicethismorning——fraudthisafternoon,andcoldselfishness,thatcanamuseitselfwiththemortificationandmisfortunesofothers,thisevening.Thisisthemoralsideofthepicture.ButwhenIcameto'speer'aroundtoseewhethershehadanymindorrealculture,theexhibitionwasstillmorepitiable.Yegods!thatagirlcanlivetoherageandknowsolittlethatisworthknowing!Sheknowshowtodress——thatis,howtoenhanceherphysicalbeauty;
  andthat,Iadmit,isagreatdeal.Asfarasitgoesitiswell.
  Butofthetasteofabeautifuland,atthesametime,intellectualandhighlycultivatedwoman,shehasnoconception;withheritisaquestionoffleshandbloodonly."
  "Iwonderifitwilleverbeotherwise?Iwonderifhermarvellousbeauty,whichisnowlikeabuddingrose,thatpartlyconcealstheworminitsheart,willsoon,liketheoverblownflower,revealsoclearlywhatmarsitslifethatscarcelyanythingelsewillbenoticed.Whatafateforaman——tobetiedforlifetoawomanwhowill,withsuregradation,passfromatleastoutwardbeautytoutterhideousness!Beauty,inacaselikethis,isbutamaskwhichtimeortheloathsomefingersofdiseasewouldsurelystripoff;andthenwhatanobjectwouldconfrontthedisenchantedlover!
  Itwouldbelikemarryingadisguiseddeath's-head.NeverbeforedidIrealizehowessentialismentalandmoralculturetogivevaluetomereexternalbeauty.
  "Andyetsheseemstohaveakindofquicknessandaptness.Sheisnotwantinginwomanlyintuition.Istillaminclinedtobelieveshehasbeendwarfedbycircumstancesandherwretchedassociations.
  Hermindhasbeengivennobettermeansofdevelopmentthantheknowledgeofherbeauty,thegeneralandsuperficialhomagethatitalwaysreceives,thelittleroundofthoughtthatcentresaboutself,andthedailyquestionofdress.That'snarrowingtheworlddowntoacagelargeenoughonlyforapoll-parrot.Ifthebirdwithinhasaparrot'snature,whatistheuseofopeningthedoorandshowingitlarkssinginginthesky?Ifearthat'swhatI'mtryingtodo,andthatIshallgobacktomyfallworkwithameagreportfolioandagrudgeagainstnature,formockingmewiththefairestbrokenpromiseevermade."
  ChapterXIV.ARevelation.
  Thenextdaythreatenedtobeadrearyone,fortherainfellsosteadilyastomakeallsunny,out-of-doorpleasuresimpossible.
  Manylookedabroadwithfacesasdismalandcloudyasthesky;
  forthenumberofthosewhoriseabovetheircircumstanceswithacheerycouragearebutfew.Humanfacescanshine,althoughthesunbeclouded;but,asarule,theshadowfallsonthefacealso,andtheregalspiritsuccumbslikeaclodofearth.
  Thepeoplecamestragglingdownlatetobreakfastinthedarkmorning,and,withachildishegotismthatconsidersonlyselfandimmediatedesires,theloweringweatherwhichmeantrenewedbeautyandwealthtoalltheland,wasberatedasifitwereasmallspiteagainstthehandfulofpeopleattheLakeHouse.VanBergheardIdaMayhewexclaimingagainstthecloudsasifthisspitewereaimedatherselfonly.
  "Someofherfriendsmightnotventurefromthecity,"shesaid.
  "Theyyouthsarenotventuresome,then,"remarkedStanton,whoneverlostanopportunitytotease.
  "Ofcoursetheydon'twishtogetwet,"shepouted.
  "AndyetI'llwageranyamountthattheyarenotofthe'saltoftheearth'inanyscripturalsense.Well,theyhadbetterstayintown,forthiswouldbeaninstanceof'muchventured,nothinggained.'"
  "Youremindmeofacertainfoxwhocouldnotsayenoughhardthingsaboutthegrapesthatwereoutofreach.Butmarkmywords,Mr.
  Sibleywillcome,ifitpours."
  "Hewouldn'triskthespoilingofhisclothesforanywomanliving."
  "Youjudgehimbyyourself.Oh,dear,howshallIgetthroughthislong,horribleday!Youmencansmokelikebadchimneysthroughastorm,butformethereisnoresourceto-day,butadullnovelthatI'vereadoncebefore.Letmesee,I'llreadanhourandsleepthree,andthenitwillbetimetodressfordinner.Oh,good-morning,Mr.VanBerg,"shesaystotheartistwhohadbeenlisteningtoherwhileapparentlygivingcloseattentiontoMrs.
  Mayhew'sinterminabletiradeagainstrainydays;"Ihavejustbeenenvyingyougentlemenwhocankillstupidhoursbysmoking."
  "Iadmitthatitisalmostasbadassleeping."
  "Iseethatyouhaveahomilypreparedonimprovingthetime,soIshallescapeatonce."
  OnthestairsshemetMissBurton,whowasdescendingwithabreezyswiftnessasifsheweremakingachargeonthegeneralgloomandsullennessoftheday.
  "Good-morning,MissMayhew,"shesaid;"I'mgladtoseeyoulookingsowellafterthesevereshakingupyouhadyesterday.Youwouldalmosttemptonetobelievethatroughusageissometimesgoodforus."
  "Ihavenosuchbelief,Iassureyou.Yesterdaywasbadenough,butto-daypromisestobeworse.Iwasgoingtomakeupaboatingparty,butwhatcanonedowhenthewaterisoverheadinsteadofunderthekeel?"
  "Scoresofthings,"wasthecheeryreply."I'mgoingtohaveagoodtime."
  "I'mgoingtosleep,"saidIda,passingon.
  "MissBurton,"saidStanton,joiningheratthefootofthestairs,"Iperceive,evenfromyourmannerofdescendingtoourlowerworld,thatyouaredestinedtovanquishthedullnessofthisrainyday.
  Don'tyouwishanally?"
  "Wouldyoubeanally,Mr.Stanton,ifyousawIwasdestinedtobevanquished?"
  "OfcourseIwould."
  "Lookintheparlorthen.Thereareatleastadozenladiesalreadyvanquished.Theyareoppressedbythefoul-fiend,'ennui.'
  Transferyourchivalricoffertothemanddeliverthem."
  "Stanton,"laughedVanBerg,"youareinhonorboundtodevoteyourselftothoseoppressedladies."
  "TheprospectissodarkanddepressingthatIshallatleastcheermyselffirstwiththelightofacigar."
  "Andsoyourchivalrywillendinsmoke,"shesaid.
  "Yes,MissBurton,thesmokeofbattle,whereyouareconcerned."
  "Ifearyourwitisreadierthanyoursword.Thesoldierthatboastshowhewouldoverwhelmsomeotherfoethantheonebeforehimlosescredittothedegreethatheprotests."
  "Youaremoreexacting,MissBurton,thantheladywhothrewherglovedownamongthelions.WhatchancewouldHerculeshimselfhaveofliftingthosetwelveheavyfemalesoutofthedumps?"
  "It'snotwhatwedo,butwhatweattempt,thatshowsourspirit."
  "ThenIshallexpecttoseeyouattemptgreatthings."
  "I'monlyawoman."
  "AndI'monlyaman."
  "Onlyaman!whatgreatervantage-groundcouldonehavethantobeaman?"
  "Theadvantageisnotsouncommonthatoneneedbeundulyelated,"
  stateStantonwithashrug."Iforgethowmanyhundredmillionsofusthereare.ButI'mcurioustoseehowyouwillsetaboutrenderingthehuesofthisleadendayprismatic."
  "Onlybybeingtheinnocentcauseofyourhighlycoloredlanguage,Iimagine."
  "Oh,dear,"exclaimedalittleboypetulantly,ashestrolledthroughthehallandlookedoutatthesteadydownfallofrain."Ohdear!
  Whycan'titstopraining?"
  "There'sthephilosophyofourtimeforyouinanutshell,"saidVanBerg."Whenahumanatomwantsanything,whatbusinesshastheuniversetostandinitsway?"
  "Butyouhavenobetterphilosophytoofferthedisconsolatelittlefellow,Mr.BanBerg?"MissBurtonasked.
  "Now,Van,it'syourturn.Remember,MissBurton,hehasthesamevantage-groundthatIhave.Indeedhe'shalfaninchtaller."
  "Theworldlongagolearnedbetterthantomeasuremenbyinches,Mr.Stanton."
  "Alas,MissBurton,"saidVanBerg;"thebestphilosophyIhaveisthis:whenitrains,letitrain."
  "AndthusI'mprivilegedtomeetrepresentativesofthosetwoancientandhonorableschools,theStoicandEpicurean,andyouboththink,Ifear,thatifXanthippehadfoundedaschool,myphilosophywouldalsobedefined.ButperhapsyouwillthinkbetterofmeifItellthatlittlefellowastorytopassthetimeforhim.What'sthematter,littlefolk?"sheasked,fortwoorthreemoresmallcloudedfaceshadgatheredatthedoor.
  "Matterenough,"saidtheboy."Thishorridoldrainkeepsusinthehouse,wherewecan'tdoanythingorstayanywhere.Wemustn'tplayintheparlor,wemustn'tmakeanoiseinthehalls,wemustn'trunonthepiazzas.I'dliketoliveinaworldwheretherewassomeplaceforboys."
  "Poorchild,"saidMissBurton;"thisrainisasbadforyouasthedelugetoNoah'sdove,ithasleftyounorefugeforthesoleofyourfoot.Willyoucomewithme?Noonehassaidyoumustnothearajollystory."
  "Youwon'ttellmeaboutanygoodlittleboyswhodiedwhentheywereasbigasIam?"
  "I'llkeepmyword——itshallbeajollystory."
  "Maywehearittoo?"askedtheotherchildren.
  "Yes,allofyou."
  "Whereshallwego?"
  "Wewon'tdisturbanyoneinthefarcorneroftheparlorbythepiano.Ifyouknowofanyotherlittlepeople,youcanbringthemthere,too,"andtheyeachdartedoffinsearchofespecialcronies.
  "Maywenothearthestoryalso?"askedStanton.
  "No,indeed,Imaybeabletointerestchildren,butnotphilosophers."
  "Thenwewillgoandmeditate,"saidVanBerg.
  "Yes,"sheadded,"andinaccordancewithaNewYorkcustomofgreatantiquity,madefamiliartoyou,nodoubt,bythatgravehistorianDiedrichKnickerbocker,whogivesseveralgraphicaccountsofsuchcloudyruminationsonthepartofyourcity'sgreat-grandfathers."
  "IfearyouthinkthattheworshipfulPeterStuyvensant'scounsellorsindulgedinmoretobaccothanthought,andthatthemajorityofthemhadasfewideasasoneofMr.Burleigh'schimneys,"saidVanBerg."Andyouregardusasthedirectdescendantsofthesemen,whoseliveswerecrownedwithsmoke-wreathsonly."
  "Now,Mr.VanBerg,youproveyourselftobeaphilosopherofamodernschool,youdrawyourinductionssofarandwidefromyourdiminutivepremise."
  "Well,MissBurton,youstandinveryfavorablecontrastwithuspoormortals.Wearegoingouttoaddtothecloudsthatlowerovertheworld,whileyouaretryingtobanishthem."
  "Andif,afterhelpingthechildrentowardsthecloseofthisdismalday,yourheartshouldrelenttowardsus,"addedStanton,"youwillfindtwoworthyobjectsofyourcharity."
  "Ohwhatafallingoffishere!"sheexclaimed,followingtheimpatientchildren."Knightsatfirst,thenphilosophers,andnowobjectsofcharity."
  MissBurtonevidentlykeptherword,andtolda"jollystory,"forthefriendssawthroughtheparlorwindowsthatthecirclearoundhergrewlargerandmorehilariouscontinually.Thenwouldfollowmomentsofraptandeagerattention,showingthatthetalegainedinexcitementandinterestwhatitlostinhumor.Youngpeople,whodidnotliketobeclassedwithchildren,onebyoneyieldedtothetemptation.Therewaslifeandenjoymentinthatcorneranddulnesselsewhere,andnothingissoattractiveintheworldasgenuineandjoyouslife.
  Evenelderlyladieslookedwistfullyupattheoccasionalburstsofcontagiousmerriment,andthensighedthattheyhadlostthepoweroflaughingsoeasily.
  Atlastthemarvelouslegendcametoanendamidaroundofprolongedapplause.
  "Another,another!"wasthegeneraloutcry.
  ButMissBurtonhadobservedthattheladiesandgentlemenpresentseemedinclinedtobefriendlytowardstheyoungpeople'sfun,andthereforeshebroachedanotherschemeofpleasurethatwouldvarytheentertainment.
  "Perhaps,"shesaid,"yourpapasandmammasandtheothergoodpeoplewillnotobjecttoanold-fashionedVirginiareel."
  Ashoutofwelcomegreetedthisproposition.
  MissBurtonraisedherfingersoimpressivelythattherewasaninstanthush.Indeedsheseemedtohavegainedentirecontrolofthelargeandmiscellaneousgroupwhichsurroundedher.
  "Wewilldrawupapetition,"shesaid;"forwebestenjoyourownrightsandpleasureswhenrespectingthoseofothers.Thislittleboyandgirlshalltakethepetitionaroundtoalltheladiesandgentlemenintheroom,andthisshallbethepetition:
  "'Dearladyandkindsir:Pleasedon'tobjecttoourdancingaVirginiareelintheparlor.'"
  "Allwhowishtodancecansignit.Nowwewillgototheofficeanddrawupthepetition."Andawaytheyallstarted,theyoungerchildren,wildwithglee,caperinginadvance.