Shelookeddownandsighed；andtheypassedoutofthecrumblingoldplace，andslowlycrossedtothechurchyardentrance。Knightwasnothimself，andhecouldnotpretendtobe。Shehadnottoldall。
Hesupportedherlightlyoverthestile，andwaspracticallyasattentiveasalovercouldbe。Buttherehadpassedawayaglory，andthedreamwasnotasithadbeenofyore。PerhapsKnightwasnotshapedbyNatureforamarryingman。Perhapshislifelongconstrainttowardswomen，whichhehadattributedtoaccident，wasnotchanceafterall，butthenaturalresultofinstinctiveactssominuteastobeundiscernibleevenbyhimself。Orwhethertheroughdispellingofanybrightillusion，howeverimaginative，depreciatestherealandunexaggeratedbrightnesswhichappertainstoitsbasis，onecannotsay。CertainitwasthatKnight'sdisappointmentatfindinghimselfsecondorthirdinthefield，atElfride'smomentaryequivoque，andatherreluctancetobecandid，broughthimtothevergeofcynicism。
ChapterXXXIII
'OdaughterofBabylon，wastedwithmisery。'
AhabitofKnight's，whennotimmediatelyoccupiedwithElfride——
towalkbyhimselfforhalfanhourorsobetweendinnerandbedtime——hadbecomefamiliartohisfriendsatEndelstow，Elfrideherselfamongthem。Whenhehadhelpedheroverthestile，shesaidgently，'Ifyouwishtotakeyourusualturnonthehill，Harry，Icanrundowntothehousealone。'
'Thankyou，Elfie；thenIthinkIwill。'
Herformdiminishedtoblacknessinthemoonlight，andKnight，afterremaininguponthechurchyardstileafewminuteslonger，turnedbackagaintowardsthebuilding。Hisusualcoursewasnowtolightacigarorpipe，andindulgeinaquietmeditation。Butto-nighthismindwastootensetobethinkitselfofsuchasolace。Hemerelywalkedroundtothesiteofthefallentower，andsathimselfdownuponsomeofthelargestoneswhichhadcomposedituntilthisday，whenthechainofcircumstanceoriginatedbyStephenSmith，whileintheemployofMr。Hewby，theLondonmanofart，hadbroughtaboutitsoverthrow。
PonderingonthepossibleepisodesofElfride'spastlife，andonhowhehadsupposedhertohavehadnopastjustifyingthename，hesatandregardedthewhitetombofyoungJethway，nowcloseinfrontofhim。Thesea，thoughcomparativelyplacid，couldasusualbeheardfromthispointalongthewholedistancebetweenpromontoriestotherightandleft，flounderingandentanglingitselfamongtheinsulatedstacksofrockwhichdottedthewater'sedge——themiserableskeletonsoftorturedoldcliffsthatwouldnotevenyetsuccumbtothewearandtearofthetides。
Asachangefromthoughtsnotofaverycheerfulkind，Knightattemptedexertion。Hestoodup，andpreparedtoascendtothesummitoftheruinousheapofstones，fromwhichamoreextendedoutlookwasobtainablethanfromtheground。Hestretchedouthisarmtoseizetheprojectingarrisofalargerblockthanordinary，andsohelphimselfup，whenhishandlightedplumpuponasubstancedifferinginthegreatestpossibledegreefromwhathehadexpectedtoseize——hardstone。Itwasstringyandentangled，andtraileduponthestone。Thedeepshadowfromtheaislewallpreventedhisseeinganythingheredistinctly，andhebeganguessingasanecessity。'Itisatressyspeciesofmossorlichen，'hesaidtohimself。
Butitlaylooselyoverthestone。
'Itisatuftofgrass，'hesaid。
Butitlackedtheroughnessandhumidityofthefinestgrass。
'Itisamason'swhitewash-brush。'
Suchbrushes，heremembered，weremorebristly；andhowevermuchusedinrepairingastructure，wouldnotberequiredinpullingonedown。
Hesaid，'Itmustbeathreadysilkfringe。'
Hefeltfurtherin。Itwassomewhatwarm。Knightinstantlyfeltsomewhatcold。
Tofindthecoldnessofinanimatematterwhereyouexpectwarmthisstartlingenough；butacoldertemperaturethanthatofthebodybeingrathertherulethantheexceptionincommonsubstances，ithardlyconveyssuchashocktothesystemasfindingwarmthwhereutterfrigidityisanticipated。
'Godonlyknowswhatitis，'hesaid。
Hefeltfurther，andinthecourseofaminuteputhishanduponahumanhead。Theheadwaswarm，butmotionless。Thethreadymasswasthehairofthehead——longandstraggling，showingthattheheadwasawoman's。
Knightinhisperplexitystoodstillforamoment，andcollectedhisthoughts。Thevicar'saccountofthefallofthetowerwasthattheworkmenhadbeenunderminingitalltheday，andhadleftintheeveningintendingtogivethefinishingstrokethenextmorning。Halfanhouraftertheyhadgonetheunderminedanglecamedown。Thewomanwhowashalfburied，asitseemed，musthavebeenbeneathitatthemomentofthefall。
Knightleaptupandbeganendeavouringtoremovetherubbishwithhishands。Theheapoverlyingthebodywasforthemostpartfineanddusty，butinimmensequantity。Itwouldbeasavingoftimetorunforassistance。Hecrossedtothechurchyardwall，andhasteneddownthehill。
Alittlewaydownanintersectingroadpassedoverasmallridge，whichnowshowedupdarklyagainstthemoon，andthisroadhereformedakindofnotchinthesky-line。AtthemomentthatKnightarrivedatthecrossinghebeheldamanonthiseminence，comingtowardshim。Knightturnedasideandmetthestranger。
'Therehasbeenanaccidentatthechurch，'saidKnight，withoutpreface。'Thetowerhasfallenonsomebody，whohasbeenlyingthereeversince。Willyoucomeandhelp？'
'ThatIwill，'saidtheman。
'Itisawoman，'saidKnight，astheyhurriedback，'andIthinkwetwoareenoughtoextricateher。Doyouknowofashovel？'
'Thegrave-diggingshovelsareaboutsomewhere。Theyusedtostayinthetower。'
'Andtheremustbesomebelongingtotheworkmen。'
Theysearchedabout，andinanangleoftheporchfoundthreecarefullystowedaway。GoingroundtothewestendKnightsignifiedthespotofthetragedy。
'Weoughttohavebroughtalantern，'heexclaimed。'Butwemaybeabletodowithout。'Hesettoworkremovingthesuperincumbentmass。
Theotherman，wholookedonsomewhathelplesslyatfirst，nowfollowedtheexampleofKnight'sactivity，andremovedthelargerstoneswhichweremingledwiththerubbish。Butwithalltheireffortsitwasquitetenminutesbeforethebodyoftheunfortunatecreaturecouldbeextricated。Theyliftedherascarefullyastheycould，breathlesslycarriedhertoFelixJethway'stomb，whichwasonlyafewstepswestward，andlaidherthereon。
'Isshedeadindeed？'saidthestranger。
'Sheappearstobe，'saidKnight。'Whichisthenearesthouse？
Thevicarage，Isuppose。'
'Yes；butsinceweshallhavetocallasurgeonfromCastleBoterel，Ithinkitwouldbebettertocarryherinthatdirection，insteadofawayfromthetown。'
'Andisitnotmuchfurthertothefirsthousewecometogoingthatway，thantothevicarageortoTheCrags？'
'Notmuch，'thestrangerreplied。
'Supposewetakeherthere，then。AndIthinkthebestwaytodoitwouldbethus，ifyoudon'tmindjoininghandswithme。'
'Notintheleast；Iamgladtoassist。'
Makingakindofcradle，byclaspingtheirhandscrosswiseundertheinanimatewoman，theyliftedher，andwalkedonsidebysidedownapathindicatedbythestranger，whoappearedtoknowthelocalitywell。
'Ihadbeensittinginthechurchfornearlyanhour，'Knightresumed，whentheywereoutofthechurchyard。'AfterwardsI
walkedroundtothesiteofthefallentower，andsofoundher。
ItispainfultothinkIunconsciouslywastedsomuchtimeintheverypresenceofaperishing，flyingsoul。'
'Thetowerfellatdusk，diditnot？quitetwohoursago，I
think？'
'Yes。Shemusthavebeentherealone。Whatcouldhavebeenherobjectinvisitingthechurchyardthen？
'Itisdifficulttosay。'Thestrangerlookedinquiringlyintotherecliningfaceofthemotionlessformtheybore。'Wouldyouturnherroundforamoment，sothatthelightshinesonherface？'hesaid。
Theyturnedherfacetothemoon，andthemanlookedcloserintoherfeatures。'Why，Iknowher!'heexclaimed。
'Whoisshe？'
'Mrs。Jethway。Andthecottagewearetakinghertoisherown。
Sheisawidow；andIwasspeakingtoheronlythisafternoon。I
wasatCastleBoterelpost-office，andshecametheretopostaletter。Poorsoul!Letushurryon。'
'Holdmywristalittletighter。Wasnotthattombwelaidheronthetombofheronlyson？'
'Yes，itwas。Yes，Iseeitnow。Shewastheretovisitthetomb。Sincethedeathofthatsonshehasbeenadesolate，despondingwoman，alwaysbewailinghim。Shewasafarmer'swife，verywelleducated——agovernessoriginally，Ibelieve。'
Knight'sheartwasmovedtosympathy。HisownfortunesseemedinsomestrangewaytobeinterwovenwiththoseofthisJethwayfamily，throughtheinfluenceofElfrideoverhimselfandtheunfortunatesonofthathouse。Hemadenoreply，andtheystillwalkedon。
'Shebeginstofeelheavy，'saidthestranger，breakingthesilence。
'Yes，shedoes，'saidKnight；andafteranotherpauseadded，'I
thinkIhavemetyoubefore，thoughwhereIcannotrecollect。MayIaskwhoyouare？'
'Ohyes。IamLordLuxellian。Whoareyou？'
'IamavisitoratTheCrags——Mr。Knight。'
'Ihaveheardofyou，Mr。Knight。'
'AndIofyou，LordLuxellian。Iamgladtomeetyou。'
'Imaysaythesame。Iamfamiliarwithyournameinprint。'
'AndIwithyours。Isthisthehouse？'
'Yes。'
Thedoorwaslocked。Knight，reflectingamoment，searchedthepocketofthelifelesswoman，andfoundthereinalargekeywhich，onbeingappliedtothedoor，openediteasily。Thefirewasout，butthemoonlightenteredthequarriedwindow，andmadepatternsuponthefloor。Theraysenabledthemtoseethattheroomintowhichtheyhadenteredwasprettywellfurnished，itbeingthesameroomthatElfridehadvisitedalonetwoorthreeeveningsearlier。Theydepositedtheirstillburdenonanold-fashionedcouchwhichstoodagainstthewall，andKnightsearchedaboutforalamporcandle。Hefoundacandleonashelf，lightedit，andplaceditonthetable。
BothKnightandLordLuxellianexaminedthepalecountenanceattentively，andbothwerenearlyconvincedthattherewasnohope。Nomarksofviolencewerevisibleinthecasualexaminationtheymade。
'IthinkthatasIknowwhereDoctorGransonlives，'saidLordLuxellian，'Ihadbetterrunforhimwhilstyoustayhere。'
Knightagreedtothis。LordLuxellianthenwentoff，andhishurryingfootstepsdiedaway。Knightcontinuedbendingoverthebody，andafewminuteslongerofcarefulscrutinyperfectlysatisfiedhimthatthewomanwasfarbeyondthereachofthelancetandthedrug。Herextremitieswerealreadybeginningtogetstiffandcold。Knightcoveredherface，andsatdown。
Theminuteswentby。Theessayistremainedmusingonalltheoccurrencesofthenight。Hiseyesweredirecteduponthetable，andhehadseenforsometimethatwriting-materialswerespreaduponit。Henownoticedthesemoreparticularly:therewereaninkstand，pen，blotting-book，andnote-paper。Severalsheetsofpaperwerethrustasidefromtherest，uponwhichlettershadbeenbegunandrelinquished，asiftheirformhadnotbeensatisfactorytothewriter。Astickofblacksealing-waxandsealweretheretoo，asiftheordinaryfasteninghadnotbeenconsideredsufficientlysecure。Theabandonedsheetsofpaperlyingastheydidopenuponthetable，madeitpossible，ashesat，toreadthefewwordswrittenoneach。Oneranthus:
'SIR，——Asawomanwhowasonceblestwithadearsonofherown，I
imploreyoutoacceptawarning——'
Another:
'SIR，——Ifyouwilldeigntoreceivewarningfromastrangerbeforeitistoolatetoalteryourcourse，listento——'
Thethird:
'SIR，——WiththisletterIenclosetoyouanotherwhich，unaidedbyanyexplanationfromme，tellsastartlingtale。Iwish，however，toaddafewwordstomakeyourdelusionyetmorecleartoyou——
'
Itwasplainthat，aftertheserenouncedbeginnings，afourthletterhadbeenwrittenanddespatched，whichhadbeendeemedaproperone。Uponthetableweretwodropsofsealing-wax，thestickfromwhichtheyweretakenhavingbeenlaiddownoverhangingtheedgeofthetable；theendofitdrooped，showingthatthewaxwasplacedtherewhilstwarm。Therewasthechairinwhichthewriterhadsat，theimpressionoftheletter'saddressupontheblotting-paper，andthepoorwidowwhohadcausedtheseresultslyingdeadhardby。KnighthadseenenoughtoleadhimtotheconclusionthatMrs。Jethway，havingmatterofgreatimportancetocommunicatetosomefriendoracquaintance，hadwrittenhimaverycarefulletter，andgoneherselftopostit；thatshehadnotreturnedtothehousefromthattimeofleavingittillLordLuxellianandhimselfhadbroughtherbackdead。
Theunutterablemelancholyofthewholescene，ashewaitedon，silentandalone，didnotaltogetherclashwiththemoodofKnight，eventhoughhewastheaffiancedofafairandwinninggirl，andthoughsolatelyhehadbeeninhercompany。Whilstsittingontheremainsofthedemolishedtowerhehaddefinedanewsensation；thatthelengthenedcourseofinactionhehadlatelybeenindulginginonElfride'saccountmightprobablynotbegoodforhimasamanwhohadworktodo。Itcouldquicklybeputanendtobyhasteningonhismarriagewithher。
Knight，inhisownopinion，wasonewhohadmissedhismarkbyexcessiveaiming。Havingnow，toagreatextent，givenupidealambitions，hewishedearnestlytodirecthispowersintoamorepracticalchannel，andthuscorrecttheintrospectivetendencieswhichhadneverbroughthimselfmuchhappiness，ordonehisfellow-creaturesanygreatgood。Tomakeastartinthisnewdirectionbymarriage，which，sinceknowingElfride，hadbeensoentrancinganidea，waslessexquisiteto-night。Thatthecurtailmentofhisillusionregardingherhadsomethingtodowiththereaction，andwiththereturnofhisoldsentimentsonwastingtime，ismorethanprobable。ThoughKnight'shearthadsogreatlymasteredhim，themasterywasnotsocompleteastobeeasilymaintainedinthefaceofamoderateintellectualrevival。
Hisreveriewasbrokenbythesoundofwheels，andahorse'stramp。Thedooropenedtoadmitthesurgeon，LordLuxellian，andaMr。Coole，coronerforthedivisionwhohadbeenattendingatCastleBoterelthatveryday，andwashavinganafter-dinnerchatwiththedoctorwhenLordLuxellianarrived；nextcametwofemalenursesandsomeidlers。
Mr。Granson，afteracursoryexamination，pronouncedthewomandeadfromsuffocation，inducedbyintensepressureontherespiratoryorgans；andarrangementsweremadethattheinquiryshouldtakeplaceonthefollowingmorning，beforethereturnofthecoronertoSt。Launce's。
Shortlyafterwardsthehouseofthewidowwasdesertedbyallitslivingoccupants，andsheabodeindeath，asshehadinherlifeduringthepasttwoyears，entirelyalone。
ChapterXXXIV
'Yea，happyshallhebethatrewardeththeeasthouhastservedus。'
Sixteenhourshadpassed。Knightwasenteringtheladies'boudoiratTheCrags，uponhisreturnfromattendingtheinquesttouchingthedeathofMrs。Jethway。Elfridewasnotintheapartment。
Mrs。Swancourtmadeafewinquiriesconcerningtheverdictandcollateralcircumstances。Thenshesaid——
'Thepostmancamethismorningtheminuteafteryouleftthehouse。Therewasonlyoneletterforyou，andIhaveithere。'
Shetookaletterfromthelidofherworkbox，andhandedittohim。Knighttookthemissiveabstractedly，butstruckbyitsappearancemurmuredafewwordsandlefttheroom。
Theletterwasfastenedwithablackseal，andthehandwritinginwhichitwasaddressedhadlainunderhiseyes，longandprominently，onlytheeveningbefore。
Knightwasgreatlyagitated，andlookedaboutforaspotwherehemightbesecurefrominterruption。Itwastheseasonofheavydews，whichlayontheherbageinshadyplacesallthedaylong；
nevertheless，heenteredasmallpatchofneglectedgrass-platenclosedbytheshrubbery，andthereperusedtheletter，whichhehadopenedonhiswaythither。
Thehandwriting，theseal，thepaper，theintroductorywords，allhadtoldontheinstantthattheletterhadcometohimfromthehandsofthewidowJethway，nowdeadandcold。Hehadinstantlyunderstoodthattheunfinishednoteswhichcaughthiseyeyesternightwereintendedfornobodybuthimself。HehadrememberedsomeofthewordsofElfrideinhersleeponthesteamer，thatsomebodywasnottotellhimofsomething，oritwouldbeherruin——acircumstancehithertodeemedsotrivialandmeaninglessthathehadwell-nighforgottenit。Allthesethingsinfusedintohimanemotionintenseinpowerandsupremelydistressinginquality。Thepaperinhishandquiveredasheread:
'THEVALLEY，ENDELSTOW。
'SIR，——Awomanwhohasnotmuchintheworldtolosebyanycensurethisactmaybringuponher，wishestogiveyousomehintsconcerningaladyyoulove。Ifyouwilldeigntoacceptawarningbeforeitistoolate，youwillnoticewhatyourcorrespondenthastosay。
'Youaredeceived。Cansuchawomanasthisbeworthy？
'Onewhoencouragedanhonestyouthtoloveher，thenslightedhim，sothathedied。
'Onewhonexttookamanofnobirthasalover，whowasforbiddenthehousebyherfather。
'Onewhosecretlyleftherhometobemarriedtothatman，methim，andwentwithhimtoLondon。
'Onewho，forsomereasonorother，returnedagainunmarried。
'Onewho，inherafter-correspondencewithhim，wentsofarastoaddresshimasherhusband。
'Onewhowrotetheenclosedlettertoaskme，whobetterthananybodyelseknowsthestory，tokeepthescandalasecret。
'Ihopesoontobebeyondthereachofeitherblameorpraise。
ButbeforeremovingmeGodhasputitinmypowertoavengethedeathofmyson。
'GERTRUDEJETHWAY。'
TheletterenclosedwasthenoteinpencilthatElfridehadwritteninMrs。Jethway'scottage:
'DEARMRS。JETHWAY，——Ihavebeentovisityou。Iwantedmuchtoseeyou，butIcannotwaitanylonger。Icametobegyounottoexecutethethreatsyouhaverepeatedtome。Donot，Ibeseechyou，Mrs。Jethway，letanyoneknowIranawayfromhome!Itwouldruinmewithhim，andbreakmyheart。Iwilldoanythingforyou，ifyouwillbekindtome。Inthenameofourcommonwomanhood，donot，Iimploreyou，makeascandalofme——Yours，'E。SWANCOURT。
Knightturnedhisheadwearilytowardsthehouse。Thegroundroserapidlyonnearingtheshrubberyinwhichhestood，raisingitalmosttoalevelwiththefirstfloorofTheCrags。Elfride'sdressing-roomlayinthesalientangleinthisdirection，anditwaslightedbytwowindowsinsuchapositionthat，fromKnight'sstanding-place，hissightpassedthroughbothwindows，andrakedtheroom。Elfridewasthere；shewaspausingbetweenthetwowindows，lookingatherfigureinthecheval-glass。Sheregardedherselflongandattentivelyinfront；turned，flungbackherhead，andobservedthereflectionoverhershoulder。
Nobodycanpredicateastoherobjectorfancy；shemayhavedonethedeedintheveryabstractionofdeepsadness。Shemayhavebeenmoaningfromthebottomofherheart，'HowunhappyamI!'ButtheimpressionproducedonKnightwasnotagoodone。Hedroppedhiseyesmoodily。Thedeadwoman'sletterhadavirtueintheaccidentofitsjuncturefarbeyondanyitintrinsicallyexhibited。Circumstancelenttoevilwordsaringofpitilessjusticeechoingfromthegrave。Knightcouldnotenduretheirpossession。Hetoretheletterintofragments。
Heheardabrushingamongthebushesbehind，andturninghisheadhesawElfridefollowinghim。Thefairgirllookedinhisfacewithawistfulsmileofhope，tooforcedlyhopefultodisplacethefirmlyestablisheddreadbeneathit。Hisseverewordsofthepreviousnightstillsatheavyuponher。
'Isawyoufrommywindow，Harry，'shesaidtimidly。
'Thedewwillmakeyourfeetwet，'heobserved，asonedeaf。
'Idon'tmindit。'
'Thereisdangeringettingwetfeet。'
'Yes……Harry，whatisthematter？'
'Oh，nothing。ShallIresumetheseriousconversationIhadwithyoulastnight？No，perhapsnot；perhapsIhadbetternot。'
'Oh，Icannottell!Howwretcheditallis!Ah，Iwishyouwereyourowndearselfagain，andhadkissedmewhenIcameup!Whydidn'tyouaskmeforone？whydon'tyounow？'
'Toofreeinmannerbyhalf，'heheardmurmurthevoicewithinhim。
'Itwasthathatefulconversationlastnight，'shewenton。'Oh，thosewords!Lastnightwasablacknightforme。'
'Kiss!——Ihatethatword!Don'ttalkofkissing，forGod'ssake!I
shouldthinkyoumightwithadvantagehaveshowntactenoughtokeepbackthatword"kiss，"consideringthoseyouhaveaccepted。'
Shebecameverypale，andarigidanddesolatecharacterytookpossessionofherface。Thatfacewassodelicateandtenderinappearancenow，thatonecouldfancythepressureofafingeruponitwouldcausealividspot。
Knightwalkedon，andElfridewithhim，silentandunopposing。Heopenedagate，andtheyenteredapathacrossastubble-field。
'PerhapsIintrudeuponyou？'shesaidasheclosedthegate。
'ShallIgoaway？'
'No。Listentome，Elfride。'Knight'svoicewaslowandunequal。
'Ihavebeenhonestwithyou:willyoubesowithme？Ifany——
strange——connectionhasexistedbetweenyourselfandapredecessorofmine，tellitnow。ItisbetterthatIknowitnow，eventhoughtheknowledgeshouldpartus，thanthatIshoulddiscoveritintimetocome。Andsuspicionshavebeenawakenedinme。I
thinkIwillnotsayhow，becauseIdespisethemeans。A
discoveryofanymysteryofyourpastwouldembitterourlives。'
Knightwaitedwithaslowmannerofcalmness。Hiseyesweresadandimperative。Theywentfartheralongthepath。
'WillyouforgivemeifItellyouall？'sheexclaimedentreatingly。
'Ican'tpromise；somuchdependsuponwhatyouhavetotell。'
Elfridecouldnotendurethesilencewhichfollowed。
'Areyounotgoingtoloveme？'sheburstout。'Harry，Harry，loveme，andspeakasusual!Do；Ibeseechyou，Harry!'
'Areyougoingtoactfairlybyme？'saidKnight，withrisinganger；'orareyounot？WhathaveIdonetoyouthatIshouldbeputofflikethis？Becaughtlikeabirdinaspringe；everythingintendedtobehiddenfromme!Whyisit，Elfride？That'swhatI
askyou。'
Intheiragitationtheyhadleftthepath，andwerewanderingamongthewetandobstructivestubble，withoutknowingorheedingit。
'WhathaveIdone？'shefaltered。
'What？Howcanyouaskwhat，whenyouknowsowell？YouKNOWthatIhavedesignedlybeenkeptinignoranceofsomethingattachingtoyou，which，hadIknownofit，mighthavealteredallmyconduct；
andyetyousay，what？'
Shedroopedvisibly，andmadenoanswer。
'NotthatIbelieveinmaliciousletter-writersandwhisperers；
notI。Idon'tknowwhetherIdoordon't:uponmysoul，Ican'ttell。Iknowthis:areligionwasbuildingitselfuponyouinmyheart。Ilookedintoyoureyes，andthoughtIsawtheretruthandinnocenceaspureandperfectaseverembodiedbyGodinthefleshofwoman。Perfecttruthistoomuchtoexpect，butordinarytruthIWILLHAVEornothingatall。Justsay，then；isthematteryoukeepbackofthegravestimportance，orisitnot？'
'Idon'tunderstandallyourmeaning。IfIhavehiddenanythingfromyou，ithasbeenbecauseIlovedyouso，andIfeared——
feared——toloseyou。'
'Sinceyouarenotgiventoconfidence，Iwanttoaskyousomeplainquestions。HaveIyourpermission？'
'Yes，'shesaid，andtherecameoverherfaceawearyresignation。
'Saytheharshestwordsyoucan；Iwillbearthem!'
'Thereisascandalintheairconcerningyou，Elfride；andI
cannotevencombatitwithoutknowingdefinitelywhatitis。Itmaynotrefertoyouentirely，orevenatall。'Knighttrifledintheverybitternessofhisfeeling。'InthetimeoftheFrenchRevolution，Pariseau，aballet-master，wasbeheadedbymistakeforParisot，acaptainoftheKing'sGuard。Iwishtherewasanother"E。Swancourt"intheneighbourhood。Lookatthis。'
HehandedherthelettershehadwrittenandleftonthetableatMrs。Jethway's。Shelookedoveritvacantly。
'Itisnotsomuchasitseems!'shepleaded。'Itseemswickedlydeceptivetolookatnow，butithadamuchmorenaturaloriginthanyouthink。Mysolewishwasnottoendangerourlove。O
Harry!thatwasallmyidea。Itwasnotmuchharm。'
'Yes，yes；butindependentlyofthepoormiserablecreature'sremarks，itseemstoimply——somethingwrong。'
'Whatremarks？'
'Thoseshewroteme——nowtorntopieces。Elfride，DIDyourunawaywithamanyouloved？——thatwasthedamnablestatement。Hassuchanaccusationlifeinit——really，truly，Elfride？'
'Yes，'shewhispered。
Knight'scountenancesank。'Tobemarriedtohim？'camehuskilyfromhislips。
'Yes。Oh，forgiveme!Ihadneverseenyou，Harry。'
'ToLondon？'
'Yes；butI——'
'Answermyquestions；saynothingelse，ElfrideDidyoueverdeliberatelytrytomarryhiminsecret？'
'No；notdeliberately。'
'Butdidyoudoit？'
Afeebleredpassedoverherface。
'Yes，'shesaid。
'Andafterthat——didyou——writetohimasyourhusband；anddidheaddressyouashiswife？'
'Listen，listen!Itwas——'
'Doanswerme；onlyanswerme!'
'Then，yes，wedid。'Herlipsshook；butitwaswithsomelittledignitythatshecontinued:'Iwouldgladlyhavetoldyou；forI
knewandknowIhaddonewrong。ButIdarednot；Ilovedyoutoowell。Oh，sowell!Youhavebeeneverythingintheworldtome——
andyouarenow。Willyounotforgiveme？'
Itisamelancholythought，thatmenwhoatfirstwillnotallowtheverdictofperfectiontheypronounceupontheirsweetheartsorwivestobedisturbedbyGod'sowntestimonytothecontrary，will，oncesuspectingtheirpurity，morallyhangthemuponevidencetheywouldbeashamedtoadmitinjudgingadog。
Thereluctancetotell，whicharosefromElfride'ssimplicityinthinkingherselfsomuchmoreculpablethanshereallywas，hadbeendoingfatalworkinKnight'smind。Themanofmanyideas，nowthathisfirstdreamofimpossiblethingswasover，vibratedtoofarinthecontrarydirection；andhereverymovementoffeature——everytremor——everyconfusedword——wastakenassomuchproofofherunworthiness。
'Elfride，wemustbidgood-byetocompliment，'saidKnight:'wemustdowithoutpolitenessnow。Lookinmyface，andasyoubelieveinGodabove，tellmetrulyonethingmore。Wereyouawayalonewithhim？'
'Yes。'
'Didyoureturnhomethesamedayonwhichyouleftit？'
'No。'
Thewordfelllikeabolt，andtheverylandandskyseemedtosuffer。Knightturnedaside。MeantimeElfride'scountenanceworealookindicatingutterdespairofbeingabletoexplainmatterssothattheywouldseemnomorethantheyreallywere，——adespairwhichnotonlyrelinquishesthehopeofdirectexplanation，butwearilygivesupallcollateralchancesofextenuation。
ThescenewasengravedforyearsontheretinaofKnight'seye:
thedeadandbrownstubble，theweedsamongit，thedistantbeltofbeechesshuttingouttheviewofthehouse，theleavesofwhichwerenowredandsicktodeath。
'Youmustforgetme，'hesaid。'Weshallnotmarry，Elfride。'
Howmuchanguishpassedintohersoulatthosewordsfromhimwastoldbythelookofsupremetortureshewore。
'Whatmeaninghaveyou，Harry？Youonlysayso，doyou？'
Shelookeddoubtinglyupathim，andtriedtolaugh，asiftheunrealityofhiswordsmustbeunquestionable。
'Youarenotinearnest，Iknow——Ihopeyouarenot？SurelyI
belongtoyou，andyouaregoingtokeepmeforyours？'
'Elfride，Ihavebeenspeakingtooroughlytoyou；IhavesaidwhatIoughtonlytohavethought。Ilikeyou；andletmegiveyouawordofadvice。Marryyourmanassoonasyoucan。Howeverwearyofeachotheryoumayfeel，youbelongtoeachother，andI
amnotgoingtostepbetweenyou。DoyouthinkIwould——doyouthinkIcouldforamoment？Ifyoucannotmarryhimnow，andanothermakesyouhiswife，donotrevealthissecrettohimaftermarriage，ifyoudonotbefore。Honestywouldbedamnationthen。'
Bewilderedbyhisexpressions，sheexclaimed——
'No，no；IwillnotbeawifeunlessIamyours；andImustbeyours!'
'Ifwehadmarried——'
'Butyoudon'tMEAN——that——that——youwillgoawayandleaveme，andnotbeanythingmoretome——oh，youdon't!'
Convulsivesobstookallnerveoutofherutterance。Shecheckedthem，andcontinuedtolookinhisfacefortherayofhopethatwasnottobefoundthere。
'Iamgoingindoors，'saidKnight。'Youwillnotfollowme，Elfride；Iwishyounotto。'
'Ohno；indeed，Iwillnot。'
'AndthenIamgoingtoCastleBoterel。Good-bye。'
Hespokethefarewellasifitwerebutfortheday——lightly，ashehadspokensuchtemporaryfarewellsmanytimesbefore——andsheseemedtounderstanditassuch。Knighthadnotthepowertotellherplainlythathewasgoingforever；hehardlyknewforcertainthathewas:whetherheshouldrushbackagainuponthecurrentofanirresistibleemotion，orwhetherhecouldsufficientlyconquerhimself，andherinhim，toestablishthatpartingasasupremefarewell，andpresenthimselftotheworldagainasnowoman's。
Tenminuteslaterhehadleftthehouse，leavingdirectionsthatifhedidnotreturnintheeveninghisluggagewastobesenttohischambersinLondon，whenceheintendedtowritetoMr。
Swancourtastothereasonsofhissuddendeparture。Hedescendedthevalley，andcouldnotforbearturninghishead。Hesawthestubble-field，andaslightgirlishfigureinthemidstofit——upagainstthesky。Elfride，docileasever，hadhardlymovedastep，forhehadsaid，Remain。Helookedandsawheragain——hesawherforweeksandmonths。Hewithdrewhiseyesfromthescene，swepthishandacrossthem，asiftobrushawaythesight，breathedalowgroan，andwenton。
ChapterXXXV
'Andwiltthouleavemethus？——saynay——saynay!'
ThesceneshiftstoKnight'schambersinBede'sInn。ItwaslateintheeveningofthedayfollowinghisdeparturefromEndelstow。
AdrizzlingraindescendeduponLondon，formingahumidanddrearyhaloovereverywell-lightedstreet。Therainhadnotyetbeenprevalentlongenoughtogivetorapidvehiclesthatclearanddistinctrattlewhichfollowsthethoroughwashingofthestonesbyadrenchingrain，butwasjustsufficienttomakefootwayandroadwayslippery，adhesive，andcloggingtobothfeetandwheels。
Knightwasstandingbythefire，lookingintoitsexpiringembers，previouslytoemergingfromhisdoorforadrearyjourneyhometoRichmond。Hishatwason，andthegasturnedoff。Theblindofthewindowoverlookingthealleywasnotdrawndown；andwiththelightfrombeneath，whichshoneovertheceilingoftheroom，came，inplaceoftheusualbabble，onlythereducedclatterandquickspeechwhichweretheresultofnecessityratherthanchoice。
Whilsthethusstood，waitingfortheexpirationofthefewminutesthatwerewantingtothetimeforhiscatchingthetrain，alighttappinguponthedoormingledwiththeothersoundsthatreachedhisears。Itwassofaintatfirstthattheouternoiseswerealmostsufficienttodrownit。FindingitrepeatedKnightcrossedthelobby，crowdedwithbooksandrubbish，andopenedthedoor。
Awoman，closelymuffledup，butvisiblyoffragilebuild，wasstandingonthelandingunderthegaslight。Shesprangforward，flungherarmsroundKnight'sneck，andutteredalowcry——
'OHarry，Harry，youarekillingme!Icouldnothelpcoming。
Don'tsendmeaway——don't!ForgiveyourElfrideforcoming——Iloveyouso!'
Knight'sagitationandastonishmentmasteredhimforafewmoments。
'Elfride!'hecried，'whatdoesthismean？Whathaveyoudone？'
'Donothurtmeandpunishme——Oh，donot!Icouldn'thelpcoming；
itwaskillingme。Lastnight，whenyoudidnotcomeback，I
couldnotbearit——Icouldnot!Onlyletmebewithyou，andseeyourface，Harry；Idon'taskformore。'
Hereyelidswerehot，heavy，andthickwithexcessiveweeping，andthedelicaterose-redofhercheekswasdisfiguredandinflamedbytheconstantchafingofthehandkerchiefinwipinghermanytears。
'Whoiswithyou？Haveyoucomealone？'hehurriedlyinquired。
'Yes。Whenyoudidnotcomelastnight，Isatuphopingyouwouldcome——andthenightwasallagony——andIwaitedonandon，andyoudidnotcome!Thenwhenitwasmorning，andyourlettersaidyouweregone，Icouldnotendureit；andIranawayfromthemtoSt。
Launce's，andcamebythetrain。AndIhavebeenalldaytravellingtoyou，andyouwon'tmakemegoawayagain，willyou，Harry，becauseIshallalwaysloveyoutillIdie？'
'Yetitiswrongforyoutostay。OElfride!whathaveyoucommittedyourselfto？Itisruintoyourgoodnametoruntomelikethis!Hasnotyourfirstexperiencebeensufficienttokeepyoufromthesethings？'
'Myname!Harry，Ishallsoondie，andwhatgoodwillmynamebetomethen？Oh，couldIbutbethemanandyouthewoman，Iwouldnotleaveyouforsuchalittlefaultasmine!Donotthinkitwassovileathinginmetorunawaywithhim。Ah，howIwishyoucouldhaverunawaywithtwentywomenbeforeyouknewme，thatI
mightshowyouIwouldthinkitnofault，butbegladtogetyouafterthemall，sothatIhadyou!Ifyouonlyknewmethroughandthrough，howtrueIam，Harry。CannotIbeyours？Sayyoulovemejustthesame，anddon'tletmebeseparatedfromyouagain，willyou？Icannotbearit——allthelonghoursanddaysandnightsgoingon，andyounotthere，butawaybecauseyouhateme!'
'Nothateyou，Elfride，'hesaidgently，andsupportedherwithhisarm。'Butyoucannotstayherenow——justatpresent，Imean。'
'IsupposeImustnot——IwishImight。Iamafraidthatif——youlosesightofme——somethingdarkwillhappen，andweshallnotmeetagain。Harry，ifIamnotgoodenoughtobeyourwife，I
wishIcouldbeyourservantandlivewithyou，andnotbesentawaynevertoseeyouagain。Idon'tmindwhatitisexceptthat!'