Thelocalbookstore，ofcourse，wasclosed。Theywon'tlettheoystersstayopenonSundayinthattown。Theonlyliteraturemyfellowguestsseemedinterestedinwasmailordertabsandpricecurrents。
　　Finally，whendespairwasabouttoclaimmeforherown，IranacrossanancientFifthReader，alltatteredandstainedandhavingthatsmellofagewhichiscommontooldbooksandoldsheep。I
　　tookituptobedwithme，andIreaditthroughfromcovertocover。LongbeforeIwasthroughtheveryideawhichforsolonghadbeensloshingroundinsideofmyhead——thisideawhich，asonemightsay，hadbeenagedinthewood——tookshape。ThenandthereIdecidedthattheveryfirstchanceIhadIwouldsitmedownandwriteapleaforOldCapCollier。
　　InmyyouthIwasspankedfreelyandfrequentlyfordoingmanydifferentthingsthatwereforbidden，andalsofordoingthesamethingmanydifferenttimesandgettingcaughtdoingit。That，ofcourse，wasbeforetheBoyScoutmovementhadcomealongtoshowhoweasilyandhowsanelyaboy'snaturalrestlessnessandaboy'snaturalloveforadventuremaybedirectedintohelpfulchannels；
　　thatwaswhennearlyeverythinganormal，activeboycravedtodowaswrongand，therefore，heldtobeaspankableoffense。
　　Thiswasageneralruleinourtown。Itdidnotespeciallyapplytoanyparticularhousehold，butitappliedpracticallytoallthehouseholdswithwhichIwasinanywayfamiliar。Itwasacommunitywhereanold-fashionedbrandofappliedtheologywasmoststrictlyapplied。HeavenwasaplacewhichwentunanimouslyDemocraticeveryfall，becausealltheRepublicanshadgoneelsewhere。Hellwasaplacefullofred-hotcoalsandclinkeredsinnersandunbaptizedbabiesandasmelllikesomebodycookingham，withadeputydevilcominginofamorningwithanasbestosnapkindrapedoverhisarmandflickingafireproofcockroachoffthetableclothandleaningacrossthebackofSatan'schairandsaying:"Goodmornin'，boss。
　　How'reyougoingtohaveyourlostsoulsthismornin'——friedononesideorturnedover？"Sundaywasthreeweekslong，andlongerthanthatifitrained。Aboutallafellowcoulddoafterhe'dcomebackfromSundayschoolwastositroundwithhisfeetcrampedintotheshoesandstockingswhichheneverworeonweekdaysandwiththerestofhimincasedinstarchy，uncomfortabledress-upclothes——justsitroundandsitroundanditch。Youcouldn'tscratchhardeither。Itwassinfultoscratchaudiblyandwithgood，broad，freestrokes，whichistheonlysatisfactorywaytoscratch。Inourtowntheydidn'tspendSunday；theykepttheSabbath，whichisaverydifferentthing。
　　Lookingbackonmyjuvenileyearsitseemstomethat，generallyspeaking，whenspankedIdeservedit。Butalwaysthereweretwopunishablethingsagainstwhich——beingdisciplined——myyouthfulspiritrevoltedwithasortofinarticulatesenseofinjustice。
　　OnewasforviolationoftheSundaycode，whichstruckmeaswrong——thecode，Imean，nottheviolation——withoutknowingexactlywhyitwaswrong；andtheother，repeatedtimeswithoutnumber，waswhenIhadbeencaughtreadingnickullibruries，erroneouslyreferredtobyoureldersasdimenovels。
　　Ireadthemateverychance；sodideverynormalboyofmyacquaintance。Wetradedlessertreasuresforthem；weswappedthemonthebasisoftwooldvolumesforonenewone；wemaintainedaclandestinecirculating-librarysystemwhichhaditsbranchofficesineverystableloftinourpartoftown。Themoredaringamongusreadtheminschoolbehindtheshelterofanopengeographyproppeduponthedesk。
　　Shallyoueverforgetthehorrorofthemomentwhen，carriedawayonthewingsofadventurewithNickCarterorBig-FootWallaceorFrankReadeorbullyOldCap，youforgottoflashoccasionalglancesofcautiousinquiryforwardinordertomakesuretheteacherwaswheresheproperlyshouldbe，atherdeskupinfront，andreadonandonuntilthatsubtlesixthsensewhichcomestoyouwhenalotofpeoplebeginstaringatyouwarnedyousomethingwasamiss，andyoulookedupandroundyouandfoundyourselfallsurroundedbyaringofcruel，gloatingeyes？
　　Isaycrueladvisedly，becauseuptoacertainagechildrenarenaturallymorecruelthantigers。Civilizationhasprovidedthemwithtools，asitwere，forpracticingcruelty，whereasthetigermustrelyonlyonhisteethandhisbareclaws。Soyoulookedround，feelingthattheshadowofanimpendingdoomencompassedyou，andthenyourealizedthatfornotellinghowlongtheteacherhadbeenstandingjustbehindyou，readingoveryourshoulder。
　　Andathomewereyoucaughtintheactofreadingthem，or——whatfromtheparentalstandpointwasalmostasbad——intheactofharboringthem？Iwas。Housecleaningtimes，whentheyfoundthemhiddenunderfurnitureortuckedawayonthebackshelvesofpantryclosets，IwaspaddleduntilIhadthefeelingsofasliceofhot，butteredtoastsomewhatscorchedontheunderside。Andeachtime，havingbeenpaddled，Iwasadmonishedthatboyswhoreaddimenovels——onlytheyweren'tdimenovelsatallbutcostuniformlyfivecentsacopy——alwayscametoabadend，growinguptobecriminalsorRepublicansorsomethingequallyabhorrent。
　　AndIwasurgedtoreadbookswhichwouldhelpmetoshapemycareerinapropercourse。Suchbookswereputintomyhands，andIloathedthem。IknownowwhywhenIgrewupmygorgeroseandmyappetiteturnedagainstso-calledclassics。TheirstylewassomuchlikethestyleofthebookswhicholderpeoplewantedmetoreadwhenIwasinmyearlyteens。
　　Suchwerethespeciousstatementsadvancedbytheoldsters。Andwehadnoreplyfortheirargument，orifwehadonecouldnotfindthelanguageinwhichtocouchit。Besidestherewasanotherandadeeperreason。Aboy，beingwhatheis，themostsensitiveandthemostsecretiveoflivingcreaturesregardinghisinnermostemotions，rarelydoesbarehisrealthoughtstohiselders，forthey，alas，arenotyoungenoughtohaveafellowfeeling，andtheyaretoooldandtheyknowtoomuchtobereallywise。
　　Whatwemighthaveanswered，hadwehadtheverbalfacilityandhadwenotfearedfurtherpainfulcorporealmeasuresfortalkingback——orwhatwasworse，ridicule——wasthatreadingOldCapCollierneveryetsentaboytoabadend。Ineverheardofaboywhoranawayfromhomeandreallymadeagoofitwhowasactuatedatthestartbythenickullibrury。Burningwithasenseofinjustice，filledupwiththerealizationthatwewerenotappreciatedathome，weoftentalkedofrunningawayandgoingoutWesttofightIndians，butweneverdid。IrememberoncetwoofusstartedfortheFarWest，andgotnearlyasfarasOakGroveCemetery，when——
　　theduskofeveningimpending——wedecidedtoturnbackandgiveourparentsjustonemorechancetounderstandus。
　　What，also，wemighthavepointedoutwasthatinafive-centstorythevillainwasabsolutelysureofreceivingsuitableandadequatepunishmentforhismisdeeds。Rightthenandthere，onthespot，hegothis。Andtheheroinewasalwayssopluperfectlypure。Andtheheroalwayswasaherotohisfingertips，neverdoinganythingunmanlyorwrongorcowardly，andalwaysusingthemostrespectfullanguageinthepresenceoftheoppositesex。
　　Therewasneveranysexprobleminanickullibrury。Therewereneveranysmuttywordsorquestionablephrases。Ifavillainsaid"Curseyou!"hewasgoingprettyfar。AnyoneofusmightwhetupournaturalinstinctsforcrueltyonFore'sBookofMartyrs，orreadofallmannerofunmentionablehorrorsintheOldTestament，butexceptsurreptitiouslywecouldn'twalkwithNickCarter，whosemotiveswereeverpureandwhoneverusedthenaughtywordeveninthepassionofthedeathgrapplewiththetop-bootedforcesofsinisterevil。
　　Wemighthavetoldourparents，hadwehadthewordsinwhichtostatethecaseandtheybutthepatiencetolisten，thatinanickullibrurytherewaslogicandthethrillofswiftactionandthesharpspiceofadventure。There，invariablyvirtuewasrewardedandvillainyconfounded；there，inevitablywasthefinaltriumphforlawandforjusticeandfortheright；thereembalmedinonethinpapervolume，wasallthatSandfordandMertonlacked；allthattheRollobooksneverhad。WemighthavetoldthemthatthoughtheLeatherstockingTalesandRobinsonCrusoeandTwoYearsBeforetheMastandIvanhoewereallwellenoughintheirway，thetroublewiththemwasthattheymainlyweresolong-winded。Ittooksomuchtimetogettowherethefirstpunchwas，whereasNedBuntlineorCol。PrentissIngrahamwouldhandyouanexcitingjoltontheveryfirstpage，andsometimesintheveryfirstparagraph。
　　YoutakeJ。FenimoreCoopernow。Hemeantwellandhehadideas，buthisIndiansweresoeverlastinglyslowaboutgettingunderwaywiththeirscalpingoperations!Chapterafterchaptertherewassomuchfashionableanddifficultlanguagethattheplotwassmothered。Youcouldn'tseethewoodsforthetrees，ButitwastheaccidentalfindingofanancientandreminiscentvolumeoneSundayinalittlehotelwhichgavemethecuetowhatreallymadeussuchconfirmedrebelsagainstconstitutedauthority，inaliterarywayofspeaking。Thethingwhichinspireduswithhatredfortheso-calledjuvenileclassicwasathingwhichstruckdeepereventhanthesentimentsIhavebeentryingtodescribe。
　　Thebasicreason，theunderlyingmotive，layinthefactthatintheschoolbooksofouradolescence，andnotablyintheschoolreaders，ouryoungmentalitieswerefedforciblyonapapwhichaffrontedourintelligenceatthesametimethatitcloyedouradolescentpalates。Itwasnotaltogetherthelackofaction；itwasmorethelackofplaincommonsenseintheliteraryspoonvictualswhichtheyladledintousatschoolthatcausedouryouthfulsoulstorevolt。Inthefinalanalysisitwasthismorethananyothercausewhichsentusuptothehaymowfordelicious，forbiddenhoursinthecompanyofCalamityJaneandWildBillHickok。
　　Midwayoftheolddog-earedreaderwhichIpickedupthatdayI
　　cameacrossatypicalexampleofthesortofstuffImean。I
　　hadn'tseenitbeforeintwenty-fiveyears；butnow，seeingit，Iremembereditasclearlyalmostasthoughithadbeentheweekbeforeinsteadofaquarterofacenturybeforewhenforthefirsttimeithadbeenbroughttomyattention。Itwasapieceentitled，TheShipwreck，anditbeganasfollows:
　　Inthewinterof1824LieutenantG——，oftheUnitedStatesNavy，withhisbeautifulwifeandchild，embarkedinapacketatNorfolkboundtoSouthCarolina。
　　Sofarsogood。Atleast，hereisadirectbeginning。Afamilygroupisgoingsomewhere。Thereisanimpliedpromisethatbeforetheyhavetraveledveryfarsomethingofinteresttothereaderwillhappentothem。Sureenough，thepacketrunsintoastormandfounders。AssheisgoingdownLieutenantG——putshiswifeandbabyintoalifeboatmannedbysailors，andthen——therebeingnoroomforhiminthelifeboat——heremainsbehinduponthedeckofthesinkingvessel，whilethelifeboatputsoffforshore。
　　Agiantwaveoverturnstheburdenedcockleshellandheseesitspassengersengulfedinthewaters。Uptothispointthechroniclehasbeenwhatachronicleshouldbe。Perhapsthephraseologyhasbeenatrifletoploftical，andthereareafewwordsinitlongenoughtorunasserials，yetatanyratewearegettinganeffectindrama。ButbearwithmewhileIquotethenextparagraph，justasIcopieditdown:
　　Thewretchedhusbandsawbuttoodistinctlythedestructionofallhehelddear。Butherealasandforeverwereshutofffromhimallsublunaryprospects。Hefelluponthedeck——
　　powerless，senseless，acorpse——thevictimofasublimesensibility!
　　There'slanguageforyou!HowdifferentitisfromthathistoricpassagewhenthecrackofLittleSureShot'sriflerangoutandanotherRedskinbitthedust。Nothingissaidthereaboutanybodyhavinghissublunaryprospectsshutoff；nothingabouttheRedskinbecomingthevictimofasublimesensibility。InfifteengraphicwordsandinonesentenceLittleSureShotcroakedhim，andthenwithbatedbreathyoumovedontothenextparagraph，sureoffindinginityetmoreattractivecasualtiessnappilynarrated。
　　No，sir!Inthenickullibrurytheauthordidnotwastehistimeandyourstellingyouthatanindividualonbecomingacorpsewouldsimultaneouslybecomepowerlessandsenseless。Hecreditedyourintelligenceforsomething。Forcontrast，taketheimmortalworkentitledDeadwoodDickofDeadwood；or，ThePickedParty；byEdwardL。Wheeler，acopyofwhichhasjustcometomyattentionagainnearlythirtyyearsafterthetimeofmyfirstreadingofit。
　　Considertheopeningparagraph:
　　ThesunwasjustkissingthemountaintopsthatfrowneddownuponBilly-GoatGulch，andintheaforesaidmightyseaminthefaceofmightyNaturetheshadowsofaWarmJunenightweregatheringrapidly。
　　Thebirdshadmostlyhushedtheirsongsandflowntotheirnestsinthedismallonelypines，andonlythetunefultwangofawell-playedbanjoarousedthebroodingquiet，saveitbetheshrill，croakingscreamsofacrow，percheduponthetopofadeadpine，whichrosefromthenearlyperpendicularmountainsidethatretreatedintheascendingfromthegulchbottom。
　　That，asIrecall，wasapowerfullylongbitofdescriptionforanickullibrury，andhavinggotitoutofhissystemMr。Wheelerwastednomorevaluablespaceonthescenery。Fromthispointonhegaveyouaction——actionwithreasonbehinditandlogictoitandtheguarantyofaproperclimaxandasatisfactoryconclusiontofollow。DeadwoodDickmarchedmanyaflower-strewnmilethroughmyyounglife，buttothebestofmyrecollectionhenevershutoffanybody'ssublunaryprospects。IfapartydeservedkillingDeadwoodjustnaturallyupandkilledhim，andthehistoriantoldaboutitingraphicyetstraightforwardtermsofspeech；andthatwasalltherewastoit，andthatwasallthereshouldhavebeentoit。
　　Attheriskofbeingtermedaniconoclastandasmasherofthepurehighidealsoftheoldendays，Iproposetoundertaketoshowthatpracticallyallofthepreposterousassesandtheimpossibleidiotsofliteraturefoundtheirwayintotheschoolreadersofmygeneration。Withthepassageofyearstheremayhavebeensomereforminthisdirection，butIdareaffirm，withouthavingpositiveknowledgeofthefacts，thatamajorityofthesehalf-witsstillarebeingfeaturedinthegrammar-gradeliteratureofthepresenttime。Theauthorsofschoolreaders，evenmodernschoolreaders，surelyarenosmarterthantherunofgrown-upseven，say，asyouandasI；andweblindlygoonholdingupasexamplesbeforetheeyesoftheyoungoftheperiodthecharactersandtheactsofcertainpopularfiguresofpoetryandprosewho——didbutwegivethemtheacidtestofreason——wouldrevealthemselveseitherasincurableidiots，orelseasfiguresinscenesandincidentswhichphysicallycouldneverhaveoccurred。
　　Youremember，don'tyou，theschoolbookclassicofthenobleladwhobyreasonofhisneatdress，andbyhisuseinthemostcasualconversationofthesortoflanguagewhichthelateMr。HenryJamesusedwhenhewaswritinghisveryJamesiest，securedajobasatrustedmessengerinthelargecitystoreorinthecity'slargestore，ifwearegoingtobepuristsaboutit，astheboyinquestionundoubtedlywas？
　　Itseemsthathehadsupportedhiswidowedmotherandalargefamilyofbrothersandsistersbyshovelingsnowand，Ithink，layingbrickorsomethingofthattechnicalnature。AfterthislapseofyearsIwon'tbesureaboutthebricklaying，butatanyrate，workwasslackinhisregularline，andsohewenttotheproprietorofthisvastretailestablishmentandprocuredaresponsiblepositiononthestrengthofhiseasyandgracefulpersonaladdressandhisemploymentofsomeofthemoststylishadjectivesinthedictionary。Atthistimehewasnearlysevenyearsold——yes，sir，actuallynearlyseven。Wehavethewordoftheschoolbookforit。Weshouldhavehadasecondchapteronthisboy。ProbablyatninehewasbeingconsideredforpresidentofYale——no，Harvard。HewouldknowtoomuchtobepresidentofYale。
　　ThentherewasthefamiliarinstanceoftheSpartanyouthwhohavingstolenafoxandhiddenitinsidehisrobecalmlystoodupandlettheanimalgnawhisvitalsratherthanbecaughtwithitinhispossession。But，why？Iaskyou，why？Whatwasthegoodofitall？Whatobjectwasserved？Tobeginwith，theboyhadabscondedwithsomebodyelse'sfox，orwithsomebody'selsefox，whichisundoubtedlythewayacompilerofschoolreaderswouldphraseit。This，rightatthebeginning，makesthemoralityofthetransactionhighlydubious。Inthesecondplace，heshowedpoortaste。Ifhewasgoingtoswipesomething，whyshouldhenothaveswipedachickenorsomethingelseofpracticalvalue？
　　Wewaivethatpoint，though，andcometothelackofdiscretionshownbythefox。Hestartseatinghiswayoutthroughtheboy，amessyanddifficultprocedure，whenmerelybybitinganapertureinthetunichecouldhaveemergedbythefrontwaywitheaseanddispatch。Andwhatisthefinalupshotofitall？Theboyfallsdead，withalargeunsightlygapinthemiddleofhim。Probably，too，hewasaboywhoseparentswereraisinghimfortheirownpurposes。Asitis，allgnawedupinthisfashionanddeceasedbesides，heloseshisattractionsforeveryoneexcepttheundertaker。
　　Thefoxpresumablyhasanattackofacuteindigestion。Andthereyouare!ComparethemoralofthiswiththemoralofanyoneoftheOldCapCollierseries，wherevirtuecomesintoitsownandsanityisprevalentthroughoutandvicegetswhatitdeserves，andall。
　　InMcGuffey'sThirdReader，Ithinkitwas，occurredthatstoryaboutthesmallboywholivedinHollandamongthedikesanddams，andoneeveninghewentacrossthecountrytocarryafewillustratedpostcardsorsomeequallysuitablegifttoapoorblindman，andonhiswaybackhomeinthetwilighthediscoveredaleakintheseawall。Ifhewentforhelpthebreachmightwidenwhilehewasgoneandthewholestructuregiveway，andthentheseawouldcomeroaringin，carryingdeathanddestructionandwindmillsandwoodenshoesandpineapplecheesesonitscrest。Atleast，thisistheinferenceonegathersfromreadingMr。McGuffey'saccountoftheaffair。
　　Sowhatdoesthequick-wittedyoungsterdo？Heshoveshislittlearminthecreviceontheinnerside，wherealreadythewateristricklingthrough，thusblockingtheleak。Allnightlonghestandsthere，onesmall，half-frozenDutchboyholdingbacktheentireNorthAtlantic。Notuntilcenturieslater，whenJudgeAltonB。ParkerrunsforpresidentagainstColonelRooseveltandisdefeatedpracticallybyacclamationistheretobepresentedsohistoricandsomagnificentanexampleofacontestagainsttremendousodds。Inthemorningapeasant，goingouttomowthetulipbeds，findsthelittlefellowcrouchedatthefootofthedikeandinquireswhatailshim。Thelad，raisinghiswearyhead——butwait，Ishallquotetheexactlanguageofthebook:
　　"Iamhinderingtheseafromrunningin，"wasthesimplereplyofthechild。