THECOMMISSARYCRITICALLY。MAISOUI。TRESBIEN。
　　THEARETHUSA。COMMENT，MONSIEUR!What!Butdoyounotobserveitisantique。Itisdifficulttounderstand，evenforyouandme；
　　butfortheaudienceatafair，itwouldbemeaningless。
　　THECOMMISSARYTAKINGAPEN。ENFIN，ILFAUIENFINIR。Whatisyourname？
　　THEARETHUSASPEAKINGWITHTHESWALLOWINGVIVACITYOFTHE
　　ENGLISH。Robert-Louis-Stev'ns'n。
　　THECOMMISSARYAGHAST。HE!QUOI？
　　THEARETHUSAPERCEIVINGANDIMPROVINGHISADVANTAGE。Rob'rt-
　　Lou's-Stev'ns'n。
　　THECOMMISSARYAFTERSEVERALCONFLICTSWITHHISPEN。EHBIEN，IL
　　FAUTSEPASSERDUNOM。CANES'ECRITPAS。Well，wemustdowithoutthename:itisunspellable。
　　Theaboveisaroughsummaryofthismomentousconversation，inwhichIhavebeenchieflycarefultopreservetheplumsoftheCommissary；buttheremainderofthescene，perhapsbecauseofhisrisinganger，hasleftbutlittledefiniteinthememoryoftheArethusa。TheCommissarywasnot，Ithink，apractisedliteraryman；nosooner，atleast，hadhetakenpeninhandandembarkedonthecompositionofthePROCES-VERBAL，thanhebecamedistinctlymoreuncivilandbegantoshowapredilectionforthatsimplestofallformsofrepartee:"Youlie!"SeveraltimestheArethusaletitpass，andthensuddenlyflaredup，refusedtoacceptmoreinsultsortoanswerfurtherquestions，defiedtheCommissarytodohisworst，andpromisedhim，ifhedid，thatheshouldbitterlyrepentit。Perhapsifhehadwornthisproudfrontfromthefirst，insteadofbeginningwithasenseofentertainmentandthengoingontoargue，thethingmighthaveturnedotherwise；forevenatthiseleventhhourtheCommissarywasvisiblystaggered。Butitwastoolate；hehadbeenchallengedthePROCES-VERBALwasbegun；
　　andheagainsquaredhiselbowsoverhiswriting，andtheArethusawasledforthaprisoner。
　　Asteportwodownthehotroadstoodthegendarmerie。Thitherwasourunfortunateconducted，andtherehewasbiddentoemptyforththecontentsofhispockets。Ahandkerchief，apen，apencil，apipeandtobacco，matches，andsometenfrancsofchange:thatwasall。Notafile，notacipher，notascrapofwritingwhethertoidentifyortocondemn。Theverygendarmewasappalledbeforesuchdestitution。
　　"Iregret，"hesaid，"thatIarrestedyou，forIseethatyouarenoVOYOU。"Andhepromisedhimeveryindulgence。
　　TheArethusa，thusencouraged，askedforhispipe。Thathewastoldwasimpossible，butifhechewed，hemighthavesometobacco。
　　Hedidnotchew，however，andaskedinsteadtohavehishandkerchief。
　　"NON，"saidthegendarme。"NOUSAVONSEUDESHISTOIRESDEGENSQUI
　　SESONTPENDUS。"No，wehavehadhistoriesofpeoplewhohangedthemselves。
　　"What，"criedtheArethusa。"Andisitforthatyourefusememyhandkerchief？ButseehowmuchmoreeasilyIcouldhangmyselfinmytrousers!"
　　Themanwasstruckbythenoveltyoftheidea；buthestucktohiscolours，andonlycontinuedtorepeatvagueoffersofservice。
　　"Atleast，"saidtheArethusa，"besurethatyouarrestmycomrade；
　　hewillfollowmeerelongonthesameroad，andyoucantellhimbythesackuponhisshoulders。"
　　Thispromised，theprisonerwasledroundintothebackcourtofthebuilding，acellardoorwasopened，hewasmotioneddownthestair，andboltsgratedandchainsclangedbehindhisdescendingperson。
　　Thephilosophicandstillmoretheimaginativemindisapttosupposeitselfpreparedforanymortalaccident。Prison，amongotherills，wasonethathadbeenoftenfacedbytheundauntedArethusa。Evenashewentdownthestairs，hewastellinghimselfthatherewasafamousoccasionforaroundel，andthatlikethecommittedlinnetsofthetunefulcavalier，hetoowouldmakehisprisonmusical。Iwilltellthetruthatonce:theroundelwasneverwritten，oritshouldbeprintedinthisplace，toraiseasmile。Tworeasonsinterfered:thefirstmoral，thesecondphysical。
　　Itisoneofthecuriositiesofhumannature，thatalthoughallmenareliars，theycannoneofthembeartobetoldsoofthemselves。
　　Togetandtaketheliewithequanimityisastretchbeyondthestoic；andtheArethusa，whohadbeensurfeiteduponthatinsult，wasblazinginwardlywithawhiteheatofsmotheredwrath。Butthephysicalhadalsoitspart。Thecellarinwhichhewasconfinedwassomefeetunderground，anditwasonlylightedbyanunglazed，narrowaperturehighupinthewallandsmotheredintheleavesofagreenvine。Thewallswereofnakedmasonry，thefloorofbareearth；bywayoffurnituretherewasanearthenwarebasin，awater-
　　jug，andawoodenbedsteadwithablue-graycloakforbedding。Tobetakenfromthehotairofasummer'safternoon，thereverberationoftheroadandthestirofrapidexercise，andplungedintothegloomanddampofthisreceptacleforvagabonds，struckaninstantchillupontheArethusa'sblood。Nowseeinhowsmallamatterahardshipmayconsist:thefloorwasexceedinglyunevenunderfoot，withtheveryspade-marks，Isuppose，ofthelabourerswhodugthefoundationsofthebarrack；andwhatwiththepoortwilightandtheirregularsurface，walkingwasimpossible。
　　Thecagedauthorresistedforagoodwhile；butthechilloftheplacestruckdeeperanddeeper；andatlength，withsuchreluctanceasyoumayfancy，hewasdriventoclimbuponthebedandwraphimselfinthepubliccovering。There，then，helayuponthevergeofshivering，plungedinsemi-darkness，woundinagarmentwhosetouchhedreadedliketheplague，andinaspiritfarremovedfromresignationtellingtherolloftheinsultshehadjustreceived。
　　Thesearenotcircumstancesfavourabletothemuse。
　　MeantimetolookattheuppersurfacewherethesunwasstillshiningandthegunsofsportsmenwerestillnoisythroughthetuftedplaintheCigarettewasdrawingnearathismorephilosophicpace。InthosedaysoflibertyandhealthhewastheconstantpartneroftheArethusa，andhadampleopportunitytoshareinthatgentleman'sdisfavourwiththepolice。Manyabitterbowlhadhepartakenofwiththatdisastrouscomrade。Hewashimselfamanborntofloateasilythroughlife，hisfaceandmannerartfullyrecommendinghimtoall。Therewasbutonesuspiciouscircumstancehecouldnotcarryoff，andthatwashiscompanion。HewillnotreadilyforgettheCommissaryinwhatisironicallycalledthefreetownofFrankfort-on-the-Main；northeFranco-Belgianfrontier；northeinnatLaFere；last，butnotleast，heisprettycertaintorememberChatillon-sur-Loire。
　　Atthetownentry，thegendarmeculledhimlikeawaysideflower；
　　andamomentlater，twopersons，inahighstateofsurprise，wereconfrontedintheCommissary'soffice。ForiftheCigarettewassurprisedtobearrested，theCommissarywasnolesstakenabackbytheappearanceandappointmentsofhiscaptive。Herewasamanaboutwhomtherecouldbenomistake:amanofanunquestionableandunassailablemanner，inapple-pieorder，dressednotwithneatnessmerelybutelegance，readywithhispassport，ataword，andwellsuppliedwithmoney:amantheCommissarywouldhavedoffedhishattoonchanceuponthehighway；andthisBEAU
　　CAVALIERunblushinglyclaimedtheArethusaforhiscomrade!Theconclusionoftheinterviewwasforegone；ofitshumours，I
　　rememberonlyone。"Baronet？"demandedthemagistrate，glancingupfromthepassport。"ALORS，MONSIEUR，VOUSETESLEFIRSD'UN
　　BARON？"AndwhentheCigarettehisonemistakethroughouttheinterviewdeniedthesoftimpeachment，"ALORS，"fromtheCommissary，"CEN'ESTPASVOTREPASSEPORT!"Butthesewereineffectualthunders；heneverdreamedoflayinghandsupontheCigarette；presentlyhefellintoamoodofunrestrainedadmiration，gloatingoverthecontentsoftheknapsack，commandingourfriend'stailor。Ah，whatanhonouredguestwastheCommissaryentertaining!whatsuitableclothesheworeforthewarmweather!
　　whatbeautifulmaps，whatanattractiveworkofhistoryhecarriedinhisknapsack!Youaretounderstandtherewasnowbutonepointofdifferencebetweenthem:whatwastobedonewiththeArethusa？
　　theCigarettedemandinghisrelease，theCommissarystillclaiminghimasthedungeon'sown。NowitchancedthattheCigarettehadpassedsomeyearsofhislifeinEgypt，wherehehadmadeacquaintancewithtwoverybadthings，choleramorbusandpashas；
　　andintheeyeoftheCommissary，ashefingeredthevolumeofMichelet，itseemedtoourtravellertherewassomethingTurkish。
　　Ipassoverthislightly；itishighlypossibletherewassomemisunderstanding，highlypossiblethattheCommissarycharmedwithhisvisitorsupposedtheattractiontobemutualandtookforanactofgrowingfriendshipwhattheCigarettehimselfregardedasabribe。Andatanyrate，wasthereeverabribemoresingularthananoddvolumeofMichelet'shistory？Theworkwaspromisedhimforthemorrow，beforeourdeparture；andpresentlyafter，eitherbecausehehadhisprice，ortoshowthathewasnotthemantobebehindinfriendlyoffices-"EHBIEN，"hesaid，"JESUPPOSEQU'IL
　　FAUTLAHERVOIRECAMARADE。"Andhetoreupthatfeastofhumour，theunfinishedPROCES-VERBAL。Ah，ifhehadonlytornupinsteadtheArethusa'sroundels!ThereweremanyworksburntatAlexandria，therearemanytreasuredintheBritishMuseum，thatI
　　couldbettersparethanthePROCES-VERBALofChatillon。PoorbubuckledCommissary!IbegintobesorrythatheneverhadhisMichelet:perceivinginhimfinehumantraits，abroad-basedstupidity，agustoinhismagisterialfunctions，atasteforletters，areadyadmirationfortheadmirable。AndifhedidnotadmiretheArethusa，hewasnotaloneinthat。
　　Totheimprisonedone，shiveringunderthepubliccovering，therecamesuddenlyanoiseofboltsandchains。Hesprangtohisfeet，readytowelcomeacompanionincalamity；andinsteadofthat，thedoorwasflungwide，thefriendlygendarmeappearedaboveinthestrongdaylight，andwithamagnificentgesturebeingprobablyastudentofthedrama-"VOUSETESLIBRE!"hesaid。NonetoosoonfortheArethusa。Idoubtifhehadbeenhalf-an-hourimprisoned；
　　butbythewatchinaman'sbrainwhichwastheonlywatchhecarriedheshouldhavebeeneighttimeslonger；andhepassedforthwithecstasyupthecellarstairsintothehealingwarmthoftheafternoonsun；andthebreathoftheearthcameassweetasacow'sintohisnostril；andheheardagainandcouldhavelaughedforpleasuretheconcordofdelicatenoisesthatwecallthehumoflife。
　　Andhereitmightbethoughtthatmyhistoryended；butnotso，thiswasanact-dropandnotthecurtain。Uponwhatfollowedinfrontofthebarrack，sincetherewasaladyinthecase，Iscrupletoexpatiate。ThewifeoftheMarechal-des-logiswasahandsomewoman，andyettheArethusawasnotsorrytobegonefromhersociety。Somethingofherimage，coolasapeachonthathotafternoon，stilllingersinhismemory:yetmoreofherconversation。"Youhavethereaveryfineparlour，"saidthepoorgentleman-"Ah，"saidMadamelaMarechaledes-logis，"youareverywellacquaintedwithsuchparlours!"Andyoushouldhaveseenwithwhatahardandscornfuleyeshemeasuredthevagabondbeforeher!IdonotthinkheeverhatedtheCommissary；butbeforethatinterviewwasatanend，hehatedMadamelaMarechale。HispassionasIamledtounderstandbyonewhowaspresentstoodconfessedinaburningeye，apalecheek，andatremblingutterance；Madamemeanwhiletastingthejoysofthematador，goadinghimwithbarbedwordsandstaringhimcoldlydown。
　　Itwascertainlygoodtobeawayfromthislady，andbetterstilltositdowntoanexcellentdinnerintheinn。Here，too，thedespisedtravellersscrapedacquaintancewiththeirnextneighbour，agentlemanoftheseparts，returnedfromtheday'ssport，whohadthegoodtastetofindpleasureintheirsociety。Thedinneratanend，thegentlemanproposedtheacquaintanceshouldberipenedinthecafe。
　　Thecafewascrowdedwithsportsmenconclamantlyexplainingtoeachotherandtheworldthesmallnessoftheirbags。Aboutthecentreoftheroom，theCigaretteandtheArethusasatwiththeirnewacquaintance；atrioverywellpleased，forthetravellersaftertheirlateexperienceweregreedyofconsideration，andtheirsportsmanrejoicedinapairofpatientlisteners。Suddenlytheglassdoorflewopenwithacrash；theMarechal-des-logisappearedintheinterval，gorgeouslybeltedandbefrogged，enteredwithoutsalutation，strodeuptheroomwithaclangofspursandweapons，anddisappearedthroughadooratthefarend。CloseathisheelsfollowedtheArethusa'sgendarmeoftheafternoon，imitating，withaniceshadeofdifference，theimperialbearingofhischief；
　　only，ashepassed，hestrucklightlywithhisopenhandontheshoulderofhislatecaptive，andwiththatringing，dramaticutteranceofwhichhehadthesecret-"SUIVEZ!"saidhe。
　　Thearrestofthemembers，theoathoftheTennisCourt，thesigningofthedeclarationofindependence，MarkAntony'soration，allthebravescenesofhistory，IconceiveashavingbeennotunlikethateveninginthecafeatChatillon。Terrorbreathedupontheassembly。Amomentlater，whentheArethusahadfollowedhisrecaptorsintothefartherpartofthehouse，theCigarettefoundhimselfalonewithhiscoffeeinaringofemptychairsandtables，allthelustysportsmenhuddledintocorners，alltheirclamorousvoiceshushedinwhispering，alltheireyesshootingathimfurtivelyasataleper。
　　AndtheArethusa？Well，hehadalong，sometimesatrying，interviewinthebackkitchen。TheMarechal-des-logis，whowasaveryhandsomeman，andIbelievebothintelligentandhonest，hadnoclearopiniononthecase。HethoughttheCommissaryhaddonewrong，buthedidnotwishtogethissubordinatesintotrouble；
　　andheproposedthis，that，andtheother，toallofwhichtheArethusawithagrowingsenseofhispositiondemurred。
　　"Inshort，"suggestedtheArethusa，"youwanttowashyourhandsoffurtherresponsibility？Well，then，letmegotoParis。"
　　TheMarechal-des-logislookedathiswatch。
　　"Youmayleave，"saidhe，"bytheteno'clocktrainforParis。"
　　Andatnoonthenextdaythetravellersweretellingtheirmisadventureinthedining-roomatSiron's。
　　CHAPTERV-RANDOMMEMORIES
　　I-THECOASTOFFIFE
　　MANYwritershavevigorouslydescribedthepainsofthefirstdayorthefirstnightatschool；toaboyofanyenterprise，I
　　believe，theyaremoreoftenagreeablyexciting。Misery-oratleastmiseryunrelieved-isconfinedtoanotherperiod，tothedaysofsuspenseandthe"dreadfullooking-for"ofdeparture；whentheoldlifeisrunningtoanend，andthenewlife，withitsnewinterests，notyetbegun:andtothepainofanimminentparting，thereisaddedtheunrestofastateofconsciouspre-existence。
　　Thearearailings，thebelovedshop-window，thesmellofsemi-
　　suburbantanpits，thesongofthechurchbellsuponaSunday，thethin，highvoicesofcompatriotchildreninaplaying-field-whatasudden，whatanoverpoweringpathosbreathestohimfromeachfamiliarcircumstance!Theassaultsofsorrowcomenotfromwithin，asitseemstohim，butfromwithout。Iwasproudandgladtogotoschool；hadIbeenletalone，Icouldhaveborneuplikeanyhero；buttherewasaroundme，inallmynativetown，aconspiracyoflamentation:"Poorlittleboy，heisgoingaway-
　　unkindlittleboy，heisgoingtoleaveus"；sotheunspokenburthenfollowedmeasIwent，withyearningandreproach。Andatlength，onemelancholyafternoonintheearlyautumn，andataplacewhereitseemstome，lookingback，itmustbealwaysautumnandgenerallySunday，therecamesuddenlyuponthefaceofallI
　　saw-thelongemptyroad，thelinesofthetallhouses，thechurchuponthehill，thewoodyhillsidegarden-alookofsuchapiercingsadnessthatmyheartdied；andseatingmyselfonadoor-
　　step，Ishedtearsofmiserablesympathy。Abenevolentcatcumberedmethewhilewithconsolations-wetwowerealoneinallthatwasvisibleoftheLondonRoad:twopoorwaifswhohadeachtastedsorrow-andshefawnedupontheweeper，andgambolledforhisentertainment，watchingtheeffectitseemed，withmotherlyeyes。
　　Forthesakeofthecat，Godblessher!Iconfessedathomethestoryofmyweakness；andsoitcomesaboutthatIowedacertainjourney，andthereaderowesthepresentpaper，toacatintheLondonRoad。Itwasjudged，ifIhadthusbrimmedoveronthepublichighway，somechangeofscenewasinthemedicalsense
　　indicated；myfatheratthetimewasvisitingtheharbourlightsofScotland；anditwasdecidedheshouldtakemealongwithhimaroundaportionoftheshoresofFife；myfirstprofessionaltour，myfirstjourneyinthecompletecharacterofman，withoutthehelpofpetticoats。
　　TheKingdomofFifethatroyalprovincemaybeobservedbythecuriousonthemap，occupyingatongueoflandbetweenthefirthsofForthandTay。ItmaybecontinuallyseenfrommanypartsofEdinburghamongtherest，fromthewindowsofmyfather'shouse
　　dyingawayintothedistanceandtheeasterlyHAARwithonesmokyseasidetownbeyondanother，orinwinterprintingonthegrayheavensomeglitteringhill-tops。Ithasnobeautytorecommendit，beingalow，sea-salted，wind-vexedpromontory；treesveryrare，exceptascommonontheeastcoastalongthedensofrivers；thefieldswellcultivated，Iunderstand，butnotlovelytotheeye。ItisofthecoastIspeak:theinteriormaybethegardenofEden。HistorybroodsoverthatpartoftheworldliketheeasterlyHAAR。Evenonthemap，itslongrowofGaelicplace-
　　namesbeartestimonytoanoldandsettledrace。Oftheselittletowns，postedalongtheshoreascloseassedges，eachwithitsbitofharbour，itsoldweather-beatenchurchorpublicbuilding，itsflavourofdecayedprosperityanddecayingfish，notonebuthasitslegend，quaintortragic:Dunfermline，inwhoseroyaltowersthekingmaybestillobservedintheballaddrinkingtheblood-
　　redwine；somnolentInverkeithing，oncethequarantineofLeith；
　　Aberdour，hardbythemonasticisletofInchcolm，hardbyDonibristlewherethe"bonnyfacewasspoiled"；Burntislandwhere，whenPaulJoneswasoffthecoast，theReverendMr。Shirrahadatablecarriedbetweentidemarks，andpubliclyprayedagainsttheroveratthepitchofhisvoiceandhisbroadlowlanddialect；
　　Kinghorn，whereAlexander"brak'sneckbane"andleftScotlandtotheEnglishwars；Kirkcaldy，wherethewitchesonceprevailedextremelyandsanktallshipsandhonestmarinersintheNorthSea；
　　Dysart，famous-wellfamousatleasttomefortheDutchshipsthatlayinitsharbour，paintedliketoysandwithpotsofflowersandcagesofsong-birdsinthecabinwindows，andforoneparticularDutchskipperwhowouldsitalldayinslippersonthebreakofthepoop，smokingalongGermanpipe；WemysspronounceWeemswithitsbat-hauntedcaves，wheretheChevalierJohnstone，onhisflightfromCulloden，passedanightofsuperstitiousterrors；Leven，abald，quitemodernplace，sacredtosummervisitors，whencetherehasgonebutyesterdaythetallfigureandthewhitelocksofthelastEnglishmaninDelhi，myuncleDr。
　　Balfour，whowasstillwalkinghishospitalrounds，whilethetroopersfromMeerutclatteredandcried"DeenDeen"alongthestreetsoftheimperialcity，andWilloughbymusteredhishandfulofheroesatthemagazine，andthenamelessbraveoneinthetelegraphofficewasperhapsalreadyfingeringhislastdespatch；
　　andjustalittlebeyondLeven，LargoLawandthesmokeofLargotownmountingaboutitsfeet，thetownofAlexanderSelkirk，betterknownunderthenameofRobinsonCrusoe。Soon，thelistmightbepursuedonlyforprivatereasons，whichthereaderwillshortlyhaveanopportunitytoguessbySt。Monance，andPittenweem，andthetwoAnstruthers，andCellardyke，andCrail，wherePrimateSharpewasonceahumbleandinnocentcountryminister:ontotheheeloftheland，toFifeNess，overlookedbyasea-woodofmattedeldersandthequaintoldmansionofBalcomie，itselfoverlookingbutthebreachorthequiescenceofthedeep-theCarrRockbeaconrisingcloseinfront，andasnightdrawsin，thestaroftheInchcapereefspringingupontheonehand，andthestaroftheMayIslandontheother，andfartheroffyetathirdandagreateronthecraggyforelandofSt。Abb's。Andbutalittlewayroundthecorneroftheland，imminentitselfabovethesea，standsthegemoftheprovinceandthelightofmediaevalScotland，St。Andrews，wherethegreatCardinalBeatonheldgarrisonagainsttheworld，andthesecondofthenameandtitleperishedasyoumayreadinKnox'sjeeringnarrativeundertheknivesoftrue-blueProtestants，andtothisdayaftersomanycenturiesthecurrentvoiceoftheprofessorisnothushed。