ALLtruehistoriescontaininstruction；though，insome，thetreasuremaybehardtofind，andwhenfound，sotrivialinquantity，thatthedry，shrivelledkernelscarcelycompensatesforthetroubleofcrackingthenut。Whetherthisbethecasewithmyhistoryornot，Iamhardlycompetenttojudge。Isometimesthinkitmightproveusefultosome，andentertainingtoothers；buttheworldmayjudgeforitself。Shieldedbymyownobscurity，andbythelapseofyears，andafewfictitiousnames，Idonotfeartoventure；andwillcandidlylaybeforethepublicwhatIwouldnotdisclosetothemostintimatefriend。
MyfatherwasaclergymanofthenorthofEngland，whowasdeservedlyrespectedbyallwhoknewhim；and，inhisyoungerdays，livedprettycomfortablyonthejointincomeofasmallincumbencyandasnuglittlepropertyofhisown。Mymother，whomarriedhimagainstthewishesofherfriends，wasasquire'sdaughter，andawomanofspirit。Invainitwasrepresentedtoher，thatifshebecamethepoorparson'swife，shemustrelinquishhercarriageandherlady's-maid，andalltheluxuriesandeleganciesofaffluence；
whichtoherwerelittlelessthanthenecessariesoflife。A
carriageandalady's-maidweregreatconveniences；but，thankheaven，shehadfeettocarryher，andhandstoministertoherownnecessities。Aneleganthouseandspaciousgroundswerenottobedespised；butshewouldratherliveinacottagewithRichardGreythaninapalacewithanyothermanintheworld。
Findingargumentsofnoavail，herfather，atlength，toldtheloverstheymightmarryiftheypleased；but，insodoing，hisdaughterwouldforfeiteveryfractionofherfortune。Heexpectedthiswouldcooltheardourofboth；buthewasmistaken。Myfatherknewtoowellmymother'ssuperiorworthnottobesensiblethatshewasavaluablefortuneinherself:andifshewouldbutconsenttoembellishhishumblehearthheshouldbehappytotakeheronanyterms；whileshe，onherpart，wouldratherlabourwithherownhandsthanbedividedfromthemansheloved，whosehappinessitwouldbeherjoytomake，andwhowasalreadyonewithherinheartandsoul。Soherfortunewenttoswellthepurseofawisersister，whohadmarriedarichnabob；andshe，tothewonderandcompassionateregretofallwhoknewher，wenttoburyherselfinthehomelyvillageparsonageamongthehillsof。Andyet，inspiteofallthis，andinspiteofmymother'shighspiritandmyfather'swhims，IbelieveyoumightsearchallEnglandthrough，andfailtofindahappiercouple。
Ofsixchildren，mysisterMaryandmyselfweretheonlytwothatsurvivedtheperilsofinfancyandearlychildhood。I，beingtheyoungerbyfiveorsixyears，wasalwaysregardedasTHEchild，andthepetofthefamily:father，mother，andsister，allcombinedtospoilme-notbyfoolishindulgence，torendermefractiousandungovernable，butbyceaselesskindness，tomakemetoohelplessanddependent-toounfitforbuffetingwiththecaresandturmoilsoflife。
MaryandIwerebroughtupinthestrictestseclusion。Mymother，beingatoncehighlyaccomplished，wellinformed，andfondofemployment，tookthewholechargeofoureducationonherself，withtheexceptionofLatin-whichmyfatherundertooktoteachus-sothatweneverevenwenttoschool；and，astherewasnosocietyintheneighbourhood，ouronlyintercoursewiththeworldconsistedinastatelytea-party，nowandthen，withtheprincipalfarmersandtradespeopleofthevicinityjusttoavoidbeingstigmatizedastooproudtoconsortwithourneighbours，andanannualvisittoourpaternalgrandfather's；wherehimself，ourkindgrandmamma，amaidenaunt，andtwoorthreeelderlyladiesandgentlemen，weretheonlypersonsweeversaw。Sometimesourmotherwouldamuseuswithstoriesandanecdotesofheryoungerdays，which，whiletheyentertainedusamazingly，frequentlyawoke-inME，atleast-asecretwishtoseealittlemoreoftheworld。
Ithoughtshemusthavebeenveryhappy:butsheneverseemedtoregretpasttimes。Myfather，however，whosetemperwasneithertranquilnorcheerfulbynature，oftenundulyvexedhimselfwiththinkingofthesacrificeshisdearwifehadmadeforhim；andtroubledhisheadwithrevolvingendlessschemesfortheaugmentationofhislittlefortune，forhersakeandours。Invainmymotherassuredhimshewasquitesatisfied；andifhewouldbutlaybyalittleforthechildren，weshouldallhaveplenty，bothfortimepresentandtocome:butsavingwasnotmyfather'sforte。Hewouldnotrunindebtatleast，mymothertookgoodcareheshouldnot，butwhilehehadmoneyhemustspendit:
helikedtoseehishousecomfortable，andhiswifeanddaughterswellclothed，andwellattended；andbesides，hewascharitablydisposed，andlikedtogivetothepoor，accordingtohismeans:
or，assomemightthink，beyondthem。
Atlength，however，akindfriendsuggestedtohimameansofdoublinghisprivatepropertyatonestroke；andfurtherincreasingit，hereafter，toanuntoldamount。Thisfriendwasamerchant，amanofenterprisingspiritandundoubtedtalent，whowassomewhatstraitenedinhismercantilepursuitsforwantofcapital；butgenerouslyproposedtogivemyfatherafairshareofhisprofits，ifhewouldonlyentrusthimwithwhathecouldspare；andhethoughthemightsafelypromisethatwhateversumthelatterchosetoputintohishands，itshouldbringhimincent。percent。
Thesmallpatrimonywasspeedilysold，andthewholeofitspricewasdepositedinthehandsofthefriendlymerchant；whoaspromptlyproceededtoshiphiscargo，andprepareforhisvoyage。
Myfatherwasdelighted，sowereweall，withourbrighteningprospects。Forthepresent，itistrue，wewerereducedtothenarrowincomeofthecuracy；butmyfatherseemedtothinktherewasnonecessityforscrupulouslyrestrictingourexpendituretothat；so，withastandingbillatMr。Jackson's，anotheratSmith's，andathirdatHobson's，wegotalongevenmorecomfortablythanbefore:thoughmymotheraffirmedwehadbetterkeepwithinbounds，forourprospectsofwealthwerebutprecarious，afterall；andifmyfatherwouldonlytrusteverythingtohermanagement，heshouldneverfeelhimselfstinted:buthe，foronce，wasincorrigible。
WhathappyhoursMaryandIhavepassedwhilesittingatourworkbythefire，orwanderingontheheath-cladhills，oridlingundertheweepingbirchtheonlyconsiderabletreeinthegarden，talkingoffuturehappinesstoourselvesandourparents，ofwhatwewoulddo，andsee，andpossess；withnofirmerfoundationforourgoodlysuperstructurethantherichesthatwereexpectedtoflowinuponusfromthesuccessoftheworthymerchant'sspeculations。Ourfatherwasnearlyasbadasourselves；onlythatheaffectednottobesomuchinearnest:expressinghisbrighthopesandsanguineexpectationsinjestsandplayfulsallies，thatalwaysstruckmeasbeingexceedinglywittyandpleasant。Ourmotherlaughedwithdelighttoseehimsohopefulandhappy:butstillshefearedhewassettinghishearttoomuchuponthematter；
andonceIheardherwhisperasshelefttheroom，'Godgranthebenotdisappointed!Iknownothowhewouldbearit。'
Disappointedhewas；andbitterly，too。Itcamelikeathunder-
claponusall，thatthevesselwhichcontainedourfortunehadbeenwrecked，andgonetothebottomwithallitsstores，togetherwithseveralofthecrew，andtheunfortunatemerchanthimself。
I
wasgrievedforhim；Iwasgrievedfortheoverthrowofallourair-builtcastles:but，withtheelasticityofyouth，Isoonrecoveredtheshook。
Thoughricheshadcharms，povertyhadnoterrorsforaninexperiencedgirllikeme。Indeed，tosaythetruth，therewassomethingexhilaratingintheideaofbeingdriventostraits，andthrownuponourownresources。Ionlywishedpapa，mamma，andMarywereallofthesamemindasmyself；andthen，insteadoflamentingpastcalamitieswemightallcheerfullysettoworktoremedythem；
andthegreaterthedifficulties，theharderourpresentprivations，thegreatershouldbeourcheerfulnesstoendurethelatter，andourvigourtocontendagainsttheformer。
Marydidnotlament，butshebroodedcontinuallyoverthemisfortune，andsankintoastateofdejectionfromwhichnoeffortofminecouldrouseher。IcouldnotpossiblybringhertoregardthematteronitsbrightsideasIdid:andindeedIwassofearfulofbeingchargedwithchildishfrivolity，orstupidinsensibility，thatIcarefullykeptmostofmybrightideasandcheeringnotionstomyself；wellknowingtheycouldnotbeappreciated。
Mymotherthoughtonlyofconsolingmyfather，andpayingourdebtsandretrenchingourexpenditurebyeveryavailablemeans；butmyfatherwascompletelyoverwhelmedbythecalamity:health，strength，andspiritssankbeneaththeblow，andheneverwhollyrecoveredthem。Invainmymotherstrovetocheerhim，byappealingtohispiety，tohiscourage，tohisaffectionforherselfandus。Thatveryaffectionwashisgreatesttorment:
itwasforoursakeshehadsoardentlylongedtoincreasehisfortune-itwasourinterestthathadlentsuchbrightnesstohishopes，andthatimpartedsuchbitternesstohispresentdistress。Henowtormentedhimselfwithremorseathavingneglectedmymother'sadvice；whichwouldatleasthavesavedhimfromtheadditionalburdenofdebt-hevainlyreproachedhimselfforhavingbroughtherfromthedignity，theease，theluxuryofherformerstationtotoilwithhimthroughthecaresandtoilsofpoverty。Itwasgallandwormwoodtohissoultoseethatsplendid，highly-accomplishedwoman，oncesocourtedandadmired，transformedintoanactivemanaginghousewife，withhandsandheadcontinuallyoccupiedwithhouseholdlaboursandhouseholdeconomy。Theverywillingnesswithwhichsheperformedtheseduties，thecheerfulnesswithwhichsheboreherreverses，andthekindnesswhichwithheldherfromimputingthesmallestblametohim，wereallpervertedbythisingeniousself-tormentorintofurtheraggravationsofhissufferings。Andthusthemindpreyeduponthebody，anddisorderedthesystemofthenerves，andtheyinturnincreasedthetroublesofthemind，tillbyactionandreactionhishealthwasseriouslyimpaired；andnotoneofuscouldconvincehimthattheaspectofouraffairswasnothalfsogloomy，soutterlyhopeless，ashismorbidimaginationrepresentedittobe。
Theusefulponyphaetonwassold，togetherwiththestout，well-fedpony-theoldfavouritethatwehadfullydeterminedshouldenditsdaysinpeace，andneverpassfromourhands；thelittlecoach-
houseandstablewerelet；theservantboy，andthemoreefficientbeingthemoreexpensiveofthetwomaid-servants，weredismissed。Ourclothesweremended，turned，anddarnedtotheutmostvergeofdecency；ourfood，alwaysplain，wasnowsimplifiedtoanunprecedenteddegree-exceptmyfather'sfavouritedishes；
ourcoalsandcandleswerepainfullyeconomized-thepairofcandlesreducedtoone，andthatmostsparinglyused；thecoalscarefullyhusbandedinthehalf-emptygrate:especiallywhenmyfatherwasoutonhisparishduties，orconfinedtobedthroughillness-thenwesatwithourfeetonthefender，scrapingtheperishingemberstogetherfromtimetotime，andoccasionallyaddingaslightscatteringofthedustandfragmentsofcoal，justtokeepthemalive。Asforourcarpets，theyintimewerewornthreadbare，andpatchedanddarnedeventoagreaterextentthanourgarments。Tosavetheexpenseofagardener，MaryandI
undertooktokeepthegardeninorder；andallthecookingandhouseholdworkthatcouldnoteasilybemanagedbyoneservant-
girl，wasdonebymymotherandsister，withalittleoccasionalhelpfromme:onlyalittle，because，thoughawomaninmyownestimation，Iwasstillachildintheirs；andmymother，likemostactive，managingwomen，wasnotgiftedwithveryactivedaughters:
forthisreason-thatbeingsocleveranddiligentherself，shewasnevertemptedtotrustheraffairstoadeputy，but，onthecontrary，waswillingtoactandthinkforothersaswellasfornumberone；andwhateverwasthebusinessinhand，shewasapttothinkthatnoonecoulddoitsowellasherself:sothatwheneverIofferedtoassisther，Ireceivedsuchanansweras-'No，love，youcannotindeed-there'snothinghereyoucando。Goandhelpyoursister，orgethertotakeawalkwithyou-tellhershemustnotsitsomuch，andstaysoconstantlyinthehouseasshedoes-
shemaywelllookthinanddejected。'
'Mary，mammasaysI'mtohelpyou；orgetyoutotakeawalkwithme；shesaysyoumaywelllookthinanddejected，ifyousitsoconstantlyinthehouse。'
'Helpmeyoucannot，Agnes；andIcannotgooutwithYOU-Ihavefartoomuchtodo。'
'Thenletmehelpyou。'
'Youcannot，indeed，dearchild。Goandpractiseyourmusic，orplaywiththekitten。'
Therewasalwaysplentyofsewingonhand；butIhadnotbeentaughttocutoutasinglegarment，andexceptplainhemmingandseaming，therewaslittleIcoulddo，eveninthatline；fortheybothassertedthatitwasfareasiertodotheworkthemselvesthantoprepareitforme:andbesides，theylikedbettertoseemeprosecutingmystudies，oramusingmyself-itwastimeenoughformetositbendingovermywork，likeagravematron，whenmyfavouritelittlepussywasbecomeasteadyoldcat。Undersuchcircumstances，althoughIwasnotmanydegreesmoreusefulthanthekitten，myidlenesswasnotentirelywithoutexcuse。
Throughallourtroubles，Ineverbutonceheardmymothercomplainofourwantofmoney。AssummerwascomingonsheobservedtoMaryandme，'Whatadesirablethingitwouldbeforyourpapatospendafewweeksatawatering-place。Iamconvincedthesea-airandthechangeofscenewouldbeofincalculableservicetohim。Butthen，yousee，there'snomoney，'sheadded，withasigh。Webothwishedexceedinglythatthethingmightbedone，andlamentedgreatlythatitcouldnot。'Well，well!'saidshe，'it'snousecomplaining。Possiblysomethingmightbedonetofurthertheprojectafterall。Mary，youareabeautifuldrawer。Whatdoyousaytodoingafewmorepicturesinyourbeststyle，andgettingthemframed，withthewater-coloureddrawingsyouhavealreadydone，andtryingtodisposeofthemtosomeliberalpicture-dealer，whohasthesensetodiscerntheirmerits？'
'Mamma，IshouldbedelightedifyouthinktheyCOULDbesold；andforanythingworthwhile。'
'It'sworthwhiletrying，however，mydear:doyouprocurethedrawings，andI'llendeavourtofindapurchaser。'
'IwishIcoulddosomething，'saidI。
'You，Agnes!well，whoknows？Youdrawprettywell，too:
ifyouchoosesomesimplepieceforyoursubject，Idaresayyouwillbeabletoproducesomethingweshallallbeproudtoexhibit。'
'ButIhaveanotherschemeinmyhead，mamma，andhavehadlong，onlyIdidnotliketomentionit。'
'Indeed!praytelluswhatitis。'
'Ishouldliketobeagoverness。'
Mymotherutteredanexclamationofsurprise，andlaughed。Mysisterdroppedherworkinastonishment，exclaiming，'YOUagoverness，Agnes!Whatcanyoubedreamingof？'
'Well!Idon'tseeanythingsoVERYextraordinaryinit。
Idonotpretendtobeabletoinstructgreatgirls；butsurelyIcouldteachlittleones:andIshouldlikeitsomuch:Iamsofondofchildren。Doletme，mamma!'
'But，mylove，youhavenotlearnedtotakecareofYOURSELFyet:
andyoungchildrenrequiremorejudgmentandexperiencetomanagethanelderones。'
'But，mamma，Iamaboveeighteen，andquiteabletotakecareofmyself，andotherstoo。YoudonotknowhalfthewisdomandprudenceIpossess，becauseIhaveneverbeentried。'
'Onlythink，'saidMary，'whatwouldyoudoinahousefullofstrangers，withoutmeormammatospeakandactforyou-withaparcelofchildren，besidesyourself，toattendto；andnoonetolooktoforadvice？Youwouldnotevenknowwhatclothestoputon。'
'Youthink，becauseIalwaysdoasyoubidme，Ihavenojudgmentofmyown:butonlytryme-thatisallIask-andyoushallseewhatIcando。'
Atthatmomentmyfatherenteredandthesubjectofourdiscussionwasexplainedtohim。
'What，mylittleAgnesagoverness!'criedhe，and，inspiteofhisdejection，helaughedattheidea。
'Yes，papa，don'tYOUsayanythingagainstit:Ishouldlikeitsomuch；andIamsureIcouldmanagedelightfully。'
'But，mydarling，wecouldnotspareyou。'Andatearglistenedinhiseyeasheadded-'No，no!afflictedasweare，surelywearenotbroughttothatpassyet。'
'Oh，no!'saidmymother。'Thereisnonecessitywhateverforsuchastep；itismerelyawhimofherown。Soyoumustholdyourtongue，younaughtygirl；for，thoughyouaresoreadytoleaveus，youknowverywellwecannotpartwithYOU。'
Iwassilencedforthatday，andformanysucceedingones；butstillIdidnotwhollyrelinquishmydarlingscheme。Marygotherdrawingmaterials，andsteadilysettowork。Igotminetoo；butwhileIdrew，Ithoughtofotherthings。Howdelightfulitwouldbetobeagoverness!Togooutintotheworld；toenteruponanewlife；toactformyself；toexercisemyunusedfaculties；totrymyunknownpowers；toearnmyownmaintenance，andsomethingtocomfortandhelpmyfather，mother，andsister，besidesexoneratingthemfromtheprovisionofmyfoodandclothing；toshowpapawhathislittleAgnescoulddo；toconvincemammaandMarythatIwasnotquitethehelpless，thoughtlessbeingtheysupposed。Andthen，howcharmingtobeentrustedwiththecareandeducationofchildren!Whateverotherssaid，IfeltIwasfullycompetenttothetask:theclearremembranceofmyownthoughtsinearlychildhoodwouldbeasurerguidethantheinstructionsofthemostmatureadviser。Ihadbuttoturnfrommylittlepupilstomyselfattheirage，andIshouldknow，atonce，howtowintheirconfidenceandaffections:howtowakenthecontritionoftheerring；howtoemboldenthetimidandconsoletheafflicted；howtomakeVirtuepracticable，Instructiondesirable，andReligionlovelyandcomprehensible-
Delightfultask!
Toteachtheyoungideahowtoshoot!
Totrainthetenderplants，andwatchtheirbudsunfoldingdaybyday!
Influencedbysomanyinducements，Ideterminedstilltopersevere；
thoughthefearofdispleasingmymother，ordistressingmyfather'sfeelings，preventedmefromresumingthesubjectforseveraldays。Atlength，again，Imentionedittomymotherinprivate；and，withsomedifficulty，gothertopromisetoassistmewithherendeavours。Myfather'sreluctantconsentwasnextobtained，andthen，thoughMarystillsighedherdisapproval，mydear，kindmotherbegantolookoutforasituationforme。Shewrotetomyfather'srelations，andconsultedthenewspaperadvertisements-herownrelationsshehadlongdroppedallcommunicationwith:aformalinterchangeofoccasionalletterswasallshehadeverhadsincehermarriage，andshewouldnotatanytimehaveappliedtotheminacaseofthisnature。Butsolongandsoentirehadbeenmyparents'seclusionfromtheworld，thatmanyweekselapsedbeforeasuitablesituationcouldbeprocured。
Atlast，tomygreatjoy，itwasdecreedthatIshouldtakechargeoftheyoungfamilyofacertainMrs。Bloomfield；whommykind，primauntGreyhadknowninheryouth，andassertedtobeaverynicewoman。Herhusbandwasaretiredtradesman，whohadrealizedaverycomfortablefortune；butcouldnotbeprevailedupontogiveagreatersalarythantwenty-fivepoundstotheinstructressofhischildren。I，however，wasgladtoacceptthis，ratherthanrefusethesituation-whichmyparentswereinclinedtothinkthebetterplan。
Butsomeweeksmorewereyettobedevotedtopreparation。Howlong，howtediousthoseweeksappearedtome!Yettheywerehappyonesinthemain-fullofbrighthopesandardentexpectations。
WithwhatpeculiarpleasureIassistedatthemakingofmynewclothes，and，subsequently，thepackingofmytrunks!Buttherewasafeelingofbitternessminglingwiththelatteroccupationtoo；andwhenitwasdone-whenallwasreadyformydepartureonthemorrow，andthelastnightathomeapproached-asuddenanguishseemedtoswellmyheart。Mydearfriendslookedsosad，andspokesoverykindly，thatIcouldscarcelykeepmyeyesfromoverflowing:butIstillaffectedtobegay。IhadtakenmylastramblewithMaryonthemoors，mylastwalkinthegarden，androundthehouse；Ihadfed，withher，ourpetpigeonsforthelasttime-theprettycreaturesthatwehadtamedtopecktheirfoodfromourhands:Ihadgivenafarewellstroketoalltheirsilkybacksastheycrowdedinmylap。Ihadtenderlykissedmyownpeculiarfavourites，thepairofsnow-whitefantails；Ihadplayedmylasttuneontheoldfamiliarpiano，andsungmylastsongtopapa:notthelast，Ihoped，butthelastforwhatappearedtomeaverylongtime。And，perhaps，whenIdidthesethingsagainitwouldbewithdifferentfeelings:circumstancesmightbechanged，andthishousemightneverbemysettledhomeagain。Mydearlittlefriend，thekitten，wouldcertainlybechanged:shewasalreadygrowingafinecat；andwhenIreturned，evenforahastyvisitatChristmas，would，mostlikely，haveforgottenbothherplaymateandhermerrypranks。Ihadrompedwithherforthelasttime；andwhenIstrokedhersoftbrightfur，whileshelaypurringherselftosleepinmylap，itwaswithafeelingofsadnessI
couldnoteasilydisguise。Thenatbed-time，whenIretiredwithMarytoourquietlittlechamber，wherealreadymydrawerswereclearedoutandmyshareofthebookcasewasempty-andwhere，hereafter，shewouldhavetosleepalone，indrearysolitude，assheexpressedit-myheartsankmorethanever:IfeltasifI
hadbeenselfishandwrongtopersistinleavingher；andwhenI
kneltoncemorebesideourlittlebed，IprayedforablessingonherandonmyparentsmoreferventlythaneverIhaddonebefore。
Toconcealmyemotion，Iburiedmyfaceinmyhands，andtheywerepresentlybathedintears。Iperceived，onrising，thatshehadbeencryingtoo:butneitherofusspoke；andinsilencewebetookourselvestoourrepose，creepingmorecloselytogetherfromtheconsciousnessthatweweretopartsosoon。
Butthemorningbroughtarenewalofhopeandspirits。Iwastodepartearly；thattheconveyancewhichtookmeagig，hiredfromMr。Smith，thedraper，grocer，andtea-dealerofthevillagemightreturnthesameday。Irose，washed，dressed，swallowedahastybreakfast，receivedthefondembracesofmyfather，mother，andsister，kissedthecat-tothegreatscandalofSally，themaid-
shookhandswithher，mountedthegig，drewmyveilovermyface，andthen，butnottillthen，burstintoafloodoftears。Thegigrolledon；Ilookedback；mydearmotherandsisterwerestillstandingatthedoor，lookingafterme，andwavingtheiradieux。
I
returnedtheirsalute，andprayedGodtoblessthemfrommyheart:
wedescendedthehill，andIcouldseethemnomore。
'It'sacoldishmornin'foryou，MissAgnes，'observedSmith；'andadarksome'untoo；butwe'shappengettoyonspotaforetherecomemuchraintosignify。'
'Yes，Ihopeso，'repliedI，ascalmlyasIcould。
'It'scomedagoodsuplastnighttoo。'
'Yes。'
'Butthiscoldwindwillhappenkeepitoff。'
'Perhapsitwill。'
Hereendedourcolloquy。Wecrossedthevalley，andbegantoascendtheoppositehill。Asweweretoilingup，Ilookedbackagain；therewasthevillagespire，andtheoldgreyparsonagebeyondit，baskinginaslantingbeamofsunshine-itwasbutasicklyray，butthevillageandsurroundinghillswereallinsombreshade，andIhailedthewanderingbeamasapropitiousomentomyhome。WithclaspedhandsIferventlyimploredablessingonitsinhabitants，andhastilyturnedaway；forIsawthesunshinewasdeparting；andIcarefullyavoidedanotherglance，lestI
shouldseeitingloomyshadow，liketherestofthelandscape。
chapter02
CHAPTERII-FIRSTLESSONSINTHEARTOFINSTRUCTION
ASwedrovealong，myspiritsrevivedagain，andIturned，withpleasure，tothecontemplationofthenewlifeuponwhichIwasentering。ButthoughitwasnotfarpastthemiddleofSeptember，theheavycloudsandstrongnorth-easterlywindcombinedtorenderthedayextremelycoldanddreary；andthejourneyseemedaverylongone，for，asSmithobserved，theroadswere'veryheavy'；andcertainly，hishorsewasveryheavytoo:itcrawledupthehills，andcreptdownthem，andonlycondescendedtoshakeitssidesinatrotwheretheroadwasatadeadleveloraverygentleslope，whichwasrarelythecaseinthoseruggedregions；sothatitwasnearlyoneo'clockbeforewereachedtheplaceofourdestination。
Yet，afterall，whenweenteredtheloftyirongateway，whenwedrovesoftlyupthesmooth，well-rolledcarriage-road，withthegreenlawnoneachside，studdedwithyoungtrees，andapproachedthenewbutstatelymansionofWellwood，risingaboveitsmushroompoplar-groves，myheartfailedme，andIwisheditwereamileortwofartheroff。ForthefirsttimeinmylifeImuststandalone:
therewasnoretreatingnow。Imustenterthathouse，andintroducemyselfamongitsstrangeinhabitants。Buthowwasittobedone？True，Iwasnearnineteen；but，thankstomyretiredlifeandtheprotectingcareofmymotherandsister，Iwellknewthatmanyagirloffifteen，orunder，wasgiftedwithamorewomanlyaddress，andgreatereaseandself-possession，thanIwas。Yet，ifMrs。Bloomfieldwereakind，motherlywoman，Imightdoverywell，afterall；andthechildren，ofcourse，Ishouldsoonbeateasewiththem-andMr。Bloomfield，Ihoped，Ishouldhavebutlittletodowith。
'Becalm，becalm，whateverhappens，'Isaidwithinmyself；andtrulyIkeptthisresolutionsowell，andwassofullyoccupiedinsteadyingmynervesandstiflingtherebelliousflutterofmyheart，thatwhenIwasadmittedintothehallandusheredintothepresenceofMrs。Bloomfield，Ialmostforgottoanswerherpolitesalutation；anditafterwardsstruckme，thatthelittleIdidsaywasspokeninthetoneofonehalf-deadorhalf-asleep。Thelady，too，wassomewhatchillyinhermanner，asIdiscoveredwhenIhadtimetoreflect。Shewasatall，spare，statelywoman，withthickblackhair，coldgreyeyes，andextremelysallowcomplexion。
Withduepoliteness，however，sheshowedmemybedroom，andleftmetheretotakealittlerefreshment。Iwassomewhatdismayedatmyappearanceonlookingintheglass:thecoldwindhadswelledandreddenedmyhands，uncurledandentangledmyhair，anddyedmyfaceofapalepurple；addtothismycollarwashorridlycrumpled，myfrocksplashedwithmud，myfeetcladinstoutnewboots，andasthetrunkswerenotbroughtup，therewasnoremedy；sohavingsmoothedmyhairaswellasIcould，andrepeatedlytwitchedmyobduratecollar，Iproceededtoclompdownthetwoflightsofstairs，philosophizingasIwent；andwithsomedifficultyfoundmywayintotheroomwhereMrs。Bloomfieldawaitedme。
Sheledmeintothedining-room，wherethefamilyluncheonhadbeenlaidout。Somebeefsteaksandhalf-coldpotatoesweresetbeforeme；andwhileIdineduponthese，shesatopposite，watchingmeasIthoughtandendeavouringtosustainsomethinglikeaconversation-consistingchieflyofasuccessionofcommonplaceremarks，expressedwithfrigidformality:butthismightbemoremyfaultthanhers，forIreallycouldNOTconverse。Infact，myattentionwasalmostwhollyabsorbedinmydinner:notfromravenousappetite，butfromdistressatthetoughnessofthebeefsteaks，andthenumbnessofmyhands，almostpalsiedbytheirfive-hours'exposuretothebitterwind。Iwouldgladlyhaveeatenthepotatoesandletthemeatalone，buthavinggotalargepieceofthelatterontomyplate，Icouldnotbesoimpoliteastoleaveit；so，aftermanyawkwardandunsuccessfulattemptstocutitwiththeknife，ortearitwiththefork，orpullitasunderbetweenthem，sensiblethattheawfulladywasaspectatortothewholetransaction，Iatlastdesperatelygraspedtheknifeandforkinmyfists，likeachildoftwoyearsold，andfelltoworkwithallthelittlestrengthIpossessed。Butthisneededsomeapology-withafeebleattemptatalaugh，Isaid，'MyhandsaresobenumbedwiththecoldthatIcanscarcelyhandlemyknifeandfork。'
'Idaresayyouwouldfinditcold，'repliedshewithacool，immutablegravitythatdidnotservetore-assureme。
Whentheceremonywasconcluded，sheledmeintothesitting-roomagain，wheresherangandsentforthechildren。
'Youwillfindthemnotveryfaradvancedintheirattainments，'
saidshe，'forIhavehadsolittletimetoattendtotheireducationmyself，andwehavethoughtthemtooyoungforagovernesstillnow；butIthinktheyarecleverchildren，andveryapttolearn，especiallythelittleboy；heis，Ithink，thefloweroftheflock-agenerous，noble-spiritedboy，onetobeled，butnotdriven，andremarkableforalwaysspeakingthetruth。Heseemstoscorndeception'thiswasgoodnews。'HissisterMaryAnnwillrequirewatching，'continuedshe，'butsheisaverygoodgirluponthewhole；thoughIwishhertobekeptoutofthenurseryasmuchaspossible，assheisnowalmostsixyearsold，andmightacquirebadhabitsfromthenurses。Ihaveorderedhercribtobeplacedinyourroom，andifyouwillbesokindastooverlookherwashinganddressing，andtakechargeofherclothes，sheneedhavenothingfurthertodowiththenurserymaid。'
IrepliedIwasquitewillingtodoso；andatthatmomentmyyoungpupilsenteredtheapartment，withtheirtwoyoungersisters。
MasterTomBloomfieldwasawell-grownboyofseven，withasomewhatwiryframe，flaxenhair，blueeyes，smallturned-upnose，andfaircomplexion。MaryAnnwasatallgirltoo，somewhatdarklikehermother，butwitharoundfullfaceandahighcolourinhercheeks。ThesecondsisterwasFanny，averyprettylittlegirl；Mrs。Bloomfieldassuredmeshewasaremarkablygentlechild，andrequiredencouragement:shehadnotlearnedanythingyet；
butinafewdays，shewouldbefouryearsold，andthenshemighttakeherfirstlessoninthealphabet，andbepromotedtotheschoolroom。TheremainingonewasHarriet，alittlebroad，fat，merry，playfulthingofscarcelytwo，thatIcovetedmorethanalltherest-butwithherIhadnothingtodo。
ItalkedtomylittlepupilsaswellasIcould，andtriedtorendermyselfagreeable；butwithlittlesuccessIfear，fortheirmother'spresencekeptmeunderanunpleasantrestraint。They，however，wereremarkablyfreefromshyness。Theyseemedbold，livelychildren，andIhopedIshouldsoonbeonfriendlytermswiththem-thelittleboyespecially，ofwhomIhadheardsuchafavourablecharacterfromhismamma。InMaryAnntherewasacertainaffectedsimper，andacravingfornotice，thatIwassorrytoobserve。Butherbrotherclaimedallmyattentiontohimself；
hestoodboltuprightbetweenmeandthefire，withhishandsbehindhisback，talkingawaylikeanorator，occasionallyinterruptinghisdiscoursewithasharpreprooftohissisterswhentheymadetoomuchnoise。
'Oh，Tom，whatadarlingyouare!'exclaimedhismother。'Comeandkissdearmamma；andthenwon'tyoushowMissGreyyourschoolroom，andyournicenewbooks？'
'Iwon'tkissYOU，mamma；butIWILLshowMissGreymyschoolroom，andmynewbooks。'
'AndMYschoolroom，andMYnewbooks，Tom，'saidMaryAnn。
'They'reminetoo。'
'They'reMINE，'repliedhedecisively。'Comealong，MissGrey-
I'llescortyou。'
Whentheroomandbookshadbeenshown，withsomebickeringsbetweenthebrotherandsisterthatIdidmyutmosttoappeaseormitigate，MaryAnnbroughtmeherdoll，andbegantobeveryloquaciousonthesubjectofitsfineclothes，itsbed，itschestofdrawers，andotherappurtenances；butTomtoldhertoholdherclamour，thatMissGreymightseehisrocking-horse，which，withamostimportantbustle，hedraggedforthfromitscornerintothemiddleoftheroom，loudlycallingonmetoattendtoit。Then，orderinghissistertoholdthereins，hemounted，andmademestandfortenminutes，watchinghowmanfullyheusedhiswhipandspurs。Meantime，however，IadmiredMaryAnn'sprettydoll，andallitspossessions；andthentoldMasterTomhewasacapitalrider，butIhopedhewouldnotusehiswhipandspurssomuchwhenherodearealpony。
'Oh，yes，Iwill!'saidhe，layingonwithredoubledardour。'I'llcutintohimlikesmoke!Eeh!myword!butheshallsweatforit。'
Thiswasveryshocking；butIhopedintimetobeabletoworkareformation。
'Nowyoumustputonyourbonnetandshawl，'saidthelittlehero，'andI'llshowyoumygarden。'
'AndMINE，'saidMaryAnn。
Tomliftedhisfistwithamenacinggesture；sheutteredaloud，shrillscream，rantotheothersideofme，andmadeafaceathim。
'Surely，Tom，youwouldnotstrikeyoursister!IhopeIshallNEVERseeyoudothat。'
'Youwillsometimes:I'mobligedtodoitnowandthentokeepherinorder。'
'Butitisnotyourbusinesstokeepherinorder，youknow-thatisfor-'
'Well，nowgoandputonyourbonnet。'
'Idon'tknow-itissoverycloudyandcold，itseemslikelytorain；-andyouknowIhavehadalongdrive。'
'Nomatter-youMUSTcome；Ishallallowofnoexcuses，'repliedtheconsequentiallittlegentleman。And，asitwasthefirstdayofouracquaintance，IthoughtImightaswellindulgehim。ItwastoocoldforMaryAnntoventure，soshestayedwithhermamma，tothegreatreliefofherbrother，wholikedtohavemealltohimself。
Thegardenwasalargeone，andtastefullylaidout；besidesseveralsplendiddahlias，thereweresomeotherfineflowersstillinbloom:butmycompanionwouldnotgivemetimetoexaminethem:
Imustgowithhim，acrossthewetgrass，toaremotesequesteredcorner，themostimportantplaceinthegrounds，becauseitcontainedHISgarden。Thereweretworoundbeds，stockedwithavarietyofplants。Inonetherewasaprettylittlerose-tree。
I
pausedtoadmireitslovelyblossoms。
'Oh，nevermindthat!'saidhe，contemptuously。'That'sonlyMARY
ANN'Sgarden；look，THISismine。'
AfterIhadobservedeveryflower，andlistenedtoadisquisitiononeveryplant，Iwaspermittedtodepart；butfirst，withgreatpomp，hepluckedapolyanthusandpresentedittome，asoneconferringaprodigiousfavour。Iobserved，onthegrassabouthisgarden，certainapparatusofsticksandcorn，andaskedwhattheywere。
'Trapsforbirds。'
'Whydoyoucatchthem？'
'Papasaystheydoharm。'
'Andwhatdoyoudowiththemwhenyoucatchthem？'
'Differentthings。SometimesIgivethemtothecat；sometimesI
cuttheminpieceswithmypenknife；butthenext，Imeantoroastalive。'
'Andwhydoyoumeantodosuchahorriblething？'
'Fortworeasons:first，toseehowlongitwilllive-andthen，toseewhatitwilltastelike。'
'Butdon'tyouknowitisextremelywickedtodosuchthings？
Remember，thebirdscanfeelaswellasyou；andthink，howwouldyoulikeityourself？'
'Oh，that'snothing!I'mnotabird，andIcan'tfeelwhatIdotothem。'
'Butyouwillhavetofeelitsometime，Tom:youhaveheardwherewickedpeoplegotowhentheydie；andifyoudon'tleaveofftorturinginnocentbirds，remember，youwillhavetogothere，andsufferjustwhatyouhavemadethemsuffer。'
'Oh，pooh!Ishan't。PapaknowshowItreatthem，andheneverblamesmeforit:hesaysitisjustwhatHEusedtodowhenHE
wasaboy。Lastsummer，hegavemeanestfullofyoungsparrows，andhesawmepullingofftheirlegsandwings，andheads，andneversaidanything；exceptthattheywerenastythings，andImustnotletthemsoilmytrousers:endUncleRobsonwastheretoo，andhelaughed，andsaidIwasafineboy。'
'Butwhatwouldyourmammasay？'
'Oh，shedoesn'tcare!shesaysit'sapitytokilltheprettysingingbirds，butthenaughtysparrows，andmice，andrats，ImaydowhatIlikewith。Sonow，MissGrey，youseeitisNOTwicked。'
'Istillthinkitis，Tom；andperhapsyourpapaandmammawouldthinksotoo，iftheythoughtmuchaboutit。However，'I