Wenowapproachedastilecommunicatingwithafootpaththatconductedtoafarm-house，where，Isuppose，Mr。Westonpurposedtomakehimself'useful；'forhepresentlytookleaveofme，crossedthestile，andtraversedthepathwithhisusualfirm，elastictread，leavingmetoponderhiswordsasIcontinuedmycoursealone。Ihadheardbeforethathehadlosthismothernotmanymonthsbeforehecame。Shethenwasthelastanddearestofhisearlyfriends；andhehadNOHOME。Ipitiedhimfrommyheart:
I
almostweptforsympathy。Andthis，Ithought，accountedfortheshadeofprematurethoughtfulnessthatsofrequentlycloudedhisbrow，andobtainedforhimthereputationofamoroseandsullendispositionwiththecharitableMissMurrayandallherkin。
'But，'thoughtI，'heisnotsomiserableasIshouldbeundersuchadeprivation:heleadsanactivelife；andawidefieldforusefulexertionliesbeforehim。HecanMAKEfriends；andhecanmakeahometoo，ifhepleases；and，doubtless，hewillpleasesometime。Godgrantthepartnerofthathomemaybeworthyofhischoice，andmakeitahappyone-suchahomeashedeservestohave!Andhowdelightfulitwouldbeto-'ButnomatterwhatI
thought。
Ibeganthisbookwiththeintentionofconcealingnothing；thatthosewholikedmighthavethebenefitofperusingafellow-
creature'sheart:butwehavesomethoughtsthatalltheangelsinheavenarewelcometobehold，butnotourbrother-men-noteventhebestandkindestamongstthem。
BythistimetheGreenshadtakenthemselvestotheirownabode，andtheMurrayshadturneddowntheprivateroad，whitherI
hastenedtofollowthem。Ifoundthetwogirlswarminananimateddiscussionontherespectivemeritsofthetwoyoungofficers；butonseeingmeRosaliebrokeoffinthemiddleofasentencetoexclaim，withmaliciousglee-
'Oh-ho，MissGrey!you'recomeatlast，areyou？NoWONDERyoulingeredsolongbehind；andnoWONDERyoualwaysstandupsovigorouslyforMr。WestonwhenIabusehim。Ah-ha!Iseeitallnow!'
'Now，come，MissMurray，don'tbefoolish，'saidI，attemptingagood-naturedlaugh；'youknowsuchnonsensecanmakenoimpressiononme。'
Butshestillwentontalkingsuchintolerablestuff-hersisterhelpingherwithappropriatefictioncoinedfortheoccasion-thatIthoughtitnecessarytosaysomethinginmyownjustification。
'Whatfollyallthisis!'Iexclaimed。'IfMr。Weston'sroadhappenedtobethesameasmineforafewyards，andifhechosetoexchangeawordortwoinpassing，whatistheresoremarkableinthat？Iassureyou，Ineverspoketohimbefore:exceptonce。'
'Where？where？andwhen？'criedtheyeagerly。
'InNancy'scottage。'
'Ah-ha!you'vemethimthere，haveyou？'exclaimedRosalie，withexultantlaughter。'Ah!now，Matilda，I'vefoundoutwhyshe'ssofondofgoingtoNancyBrown's!ShegoestheretoflirtwithMr。
Weston。'
'Really，thatisnotworthcontradicting-Ionlysawhimthereonce，Itellyou-andhowcouldIknowhewascoming？'
IrritatedasIwasattheirfoolishmirthandvexatiousimputations，theuneasinessdidnotcontinuelong:whentheyhadhadtheirlaughout，theyreturnedagaintothecaptainandlieutenant；and，whiletheydisputedandcommenteduponthem，myindignationrapidlycooled；thecauseofitwasquicklyforgotten，andIturnedmythoughtsintoapleasanterchannel。Thusweproceededupthepark，andenteredthehall；andasIascendedthestairstomyownchamber，Ihadbutonethoughtwithinme:myheartwasfilledtooverflowingwithonesingleearnestwish。
Havingenteredtheroom，andshutthedoor，Ifelluponmykneesandofferedupaferventbutnotimpetuousprayer:'Thywillbedone，'Istrovetosaythroughout；but，'Father，allthingsarepossiblewithThee，andmayitbeThywill，'wassuretofollow。
Thatwish-thatprayer-bothmenandwomenwouldhavescornedmefor-'But，Father，THOUwiltNOTdespise!'Isaid，andfeltthatitwastrue。Itseemedtomethatanother'swelfarewasatleastasardentlyimploredforasmyown；nay，evenTHATwastheprincipalobjectofmyheart'sdesire。Imighthavebeendeceivingmyself；butthatideagavemeconfidencetoask，andpowertohopeIdidnotaskinvain。Asfortheprimroses，Ikepttwooftheminaglassinmyroomuntiltheywerecompletelywithered，andthehousemaidthrewthemout；andthepetalsoftheotherIpressedbetweentheleavesofmyBible-Ihavethemstill，andmeantokeepthemalways。
chapter14
CHAPTERXIV-THERECTOR
THEfollowingdaywasasfineastheprecedingone。SoonafterbreakfastMissMatilda，havinggallopedandblunderedthroughafewunprofitablelessons，andvengeablythumpedthepianoforanhour，inaterriblehumourwithbothmeandit，becausehermammawouldnotgiveheraholiday，hadbetakenherselftoherfavouriteplacesofresort，theyards，thestables，andthedog-kennels；andMissMurraywasgoneforthtoenjoyaquietramblewithanewfashionablenovelforhercompanion，leavingmeintheschoolroomhardatworkuponawater-colourdrawingwhichIhadpromisedtodoforher，andwhichsheinsisteduponmyfinishingthatday。
Atmyfeetlayalittleroughterrier。ItwasthepropertyofMissMatilda；butshehatedtheanimal，andintendedtosellit，allegingthatitwasquitespoiled。Itwasreallyanexcellentdogofitskind；butsheaffirmeditwasfitfornothing，andhadnoteventhesensetoknowitsownmistress。
Thefactwasshehadpurchaseditwhenbutasmallpuppy，insistingatfirstthatnooneshouldtouchitbutherself；butsoonbecomingtiredofsohelplessandtroublesomeanursling，shehadgladlyyieldedtomyentreatiestobeallowedtotakechargeofit；andI，bycarefullynursingthelittlecreaturefrominfancytoadolescence，ofcourse，hadobtaineditsaffections:arewardI
shouldhavegreatlyvalued，andlookeduponasfaroutweighingallthetroubleIhadhadwithit，hadnotpoorSnap'sgratefulfeelingsexposedhimtomanyaharshwordandmanyaspitefulkickandpinchfromhisowner，andwerehenotnowindangerofbeing'putaway'inconsequence，ortransferredtosomerough，stony-
heartedmaster。ButhowcouldIhelpit？Icouldnotmakethedoghatemebycrueltreatment，andshewouldnotpropitiatehimbykindness。
However，whileIthussat，workingawaywithmypencil，Mrs。Murraycame，half-sailing，half-bustling，intotheroom。
'MissGrey，'shebegan，-'dear!howcanyousitatyourdrawingsuchadayasthis？'ShethoughtIwasdoingitformyownpleasure。'IWONDERyoudon'tputonyourbonnetandgooutwiththeyoungladies。'
'Ithink，ma'am，MissMurrayisreading；andMissMatildaisamusingherselfwithherdogs。'
'IfyouwouldtrytoamuseMissMatildayourselfalittlemore，I
thinkshewouldnotbedriventoseekamusementinthecompanionshipofdogsandhorsesandgrooms，somuchassheis；andifyouwouldbealittlemorecheerfulandconversablewithMissMurray，shewouldnotsooftengowanderinginthefieldswithabookinherhand。However，Idon'twanttovexyou，'addedshe，seeing，Isuppose，thatmycheeksburnedandmyhandtrembledwithsomeunamiableemotion。'Do，pray，trynottobesotouchy-
there'snospeakingtoyouelse。AndtellmeifyouknowwhereRosalieisgone:andwhyshelikestobesomuchalone？'
'Shesaysshelikestobealonewhenshehasanewbooktoread。'
'Butwhycan'tshereaditintheparkorthegarden？-whyshouldshegointothefieldsandlanes？AndhowisitthatthatMr。
Hatfieldsooftenfindsherout？Shetoldmelastweekhe'dwalkedhishorsebyhersideallupMossLane；andnowI'msureitwasheIsaw，frommydressing-roomwindow，walkingsobrisklypastthepark-gates，andontowardsthefieldwhereshesofrequentlygoes。
Iwishyouwouldgoandseeifsheisthere；andjustgentlyremindherthatitisnotproperforayoungladyofherrankandprospectstobewanderingaboutbyherselfinthatmanner，exposedtotheattentionsofanyonethatpresumestoaddressher；likesomepoorneglectedgirlthathasnoparktowalkin，andnofriendstotakecareofher:andtellherthatherpapawouldbeextremelyangryifheknewofhertreatingMr。HatfieldinthefamiliarmannerthatIfearshedoes；and-oh!ifyou-ifANYgovernesshadbuthalfamother'swatchfulness-halfamother'sanxiouscare，Ishouldbesavedthistrouble；andyouwouldseeatoncethenecessityofkeepingyoureyeuponher，andmakingyourcompanyagreeableto-Well，go-go；there'snotimetobelost，'criedshe，seeingthatIhadputawaymydrawingmaterials，andwaswaitinginthedoorwayfortheconclusionofheraddress。
Accordingtoherprognostications，IfoundMissMurrayinherfavouritefieldjustwithoutthepark；and，unfortunately，notalone；forthetall，statelyfigureofMr。Hatfieldwasslowlysaunteringbyherside。
Herewasaposerforme。ItwasmydutytointerrupttheTETE-A-
TETE:buthowwasittobedone？Mr。HatfieldcouldnottobedrivenawaybysoinsignificantpersonasI；andtogoandplacemyselfontheothersideofMissMurray，andintrudemyunwelcomepresenceuponherwithoutnoticinghercompanion，wasapieceofrudenessIcouldnotbeguiltyof:neitherhadIthecouragetocryaloudfromthetopofthefieldthatshewaswantedelsewhere。
SoItooktheintermediatecourseofwalkingslowlybutsteadilytowardsthem；resolving，ifmyapproachfailedtoscareawaythebeau，topassbyandtellMissMurrayhermammawantedher。
Shecertainlylookedverycharmingasshestrolled，lingeringalongunderthebuddinghorse-chestnuttreesthatstretchedtheirlongarmsoverthepark-palings；withherclosedbookinonehand，andintheotheragracefulsprigofmyrtle，whichservedherasaveryprettyplaything；herbrightringletsescapingprofuselyfromherlittlebonnet，andgentlystirredbythebreeze，herfaircheekflushedwithgratifiedvanity，hersmilingblueeyes，nowslylyglancingtowardsheradmirer，nowgazingdownwardathermyrtlesprig。ButSnap，runningbeforeme，interruptedherinthemidstofsomehalf-pert，half-playfulrepartee，bycatchingholdofherdressandvehementlytuggingthereat；tillMr。Hatfield，withhiscane，administeredaresoundingthwackupontheanimal'sskull，andsentityelpingbacktomewithaclamorousoutcrythataffordedthereverendgentlemangreatamusement:butseeingmesonear，hethought，Isuppose，hemightaswellbetakinghisdeparture；and，asIstoopedtocaressthedog，withostentatiouspitytoshowmydisapprovalofhisseverity，Iheardhimsay:'WhenshallIseeyouagain，MissMurray？'
'Atchurch，Isuppose，'repliedshe，'unlessyourbusinesschancestobringyouhereagainattheprecisemomentwhenIhappentobewalkingby。'
'Icouldalwaysmanagetohavebusinesshere，ifIknewpreciselywhenandwheretofindyou。'
'ButifIwould，Icouldnotinformyou，forIamsoimmethodical，Inevercantellto-daywhatIshalldotomorrow。'
'Thengivemethat，meantime，tocomfortme，'saidhe，halfjestinglyandhalfinearnest，extendinghishandforthesprigofmyrtle。
'No，indeed，Ishan't。'
'Do!PRAYdo!Ishallbethemostmiserableofmenifyoudon't。
Youcannotbesocruelastodenymeafavoursoeasilygrantedandyetsohighlyprized!'pleadedheasardentlyasifhislifedependedonit。
BythistimeIstoodwithinaveryfewyardsofthem，impatientlywaitinghisdeparture。
'Therethen!takeitandgo，'saidRosalie。
Hejoyfullyreceivedthegift，murmuredsomethingthatmadeherblushandtossherhead，butwithalittlelaughthatshowedherdispleasurewasentirelyaffected；andthenwithacourteoussalutationwithdrew。
'Didyoueverseesuchaman，MissGrey？'saidshe，turningtome；
'I'msoGLADyoucame!IthoughtIneverSHOULD，getridofhim；
andIwassoterriblyafraidofpapaseeinghim。'
'Hashebeenwithyoulong？'
'No，notlong，buthe'ssoextremelyimpertinent:andhe'salwayshangingabout，pretendinghisbusinessorhisclericaldutiesrequirehisattendanceintheseparts，andreallywatchingforpoorme，andpouncinguponmewhereverheseesme。'
'Well，yourmammathinksyououghtnottogobeyondtheparkorgardenwithoutsomediscreet，matronlypersonlikemetoaccompanyyou，andkeepoffallintruders。ShedescriedMr。Hatfieldhurryingpastthepark-gates，andforthwithdespatchedmewithinstructionstoseekyouupandtotakecareofyou，andlikewisetowarn-'
'Oh，mamma'ssotiresome!AsifIcouldn'ttakecareofmyself。
ShebotheredmebeforeaboutMr。Hatfield；andItoldhershemighttrustme:Inevershouldforgetmyrankandstationforthemostdelightfulmanthateverbreathed。Iwishhewouldgodownonhiskneesto-morrow，andimploremetobehiswife，thatImightjustshowherhowmistakensheisinsupposingthatIcouldever-Oh，itprovokesmeso!TothinkthatIcouldbesuchafoolastofallinLOVE!Itisquitebeneaththedignityofawomantodosuchathing。Love!Idetesttheword!Asappliedtooneofoursex，I
thinkitaperfectinsult。ApreferenceIMIGHTacknowledge；butneverforonelikepoorMr。Hatfield，whohasnotsevenhundredayeartoblesshimselfwith。Iliketotalktohim，becausehe'ssocleverandamusing-IwishSirThomasAshbywerehalfasnice；
besides，ImusthaveSOMEBODYtoflirtwith，andnooneelsehasthesensetocomehere；andwhenwegoout，mammawon'tletmeflirtwithanybodybutSirThomas-ifhe'sthere；andifhe'sNOT
there，I'mboundhandandfoot，forfearsomebodyshouldgoandmakeupsomeexaggeratedstory，andputitintohisheadthatI'mengaged，orlikelytobeengaged，tosomebodyelse；or，whatismoreprobable，forfearhisnastyoldmothershouldseeorhearofmyongoings，andconcludethatI'mnotafitwifeforherexcellentson:asifthesaidsonwerenotthegreatestscampinChristendom；andasifanywomanofcommondecencywerenotaworldtoogoodforhim。'
'Isitreallyso，MissMurray？anddoesyourmammaknowit，andyetwishyoutomarryhim？'
'Tobesure，shedoes!SheknowsmoreagainsthimthanIdo，I
believe:shekeepsitfrommelestIshouldbediscouraged；notknowinghowlittleIcareaboutsuchthings。Forit'snogreatmatter，really:he'llbeallrightwhenhe'smarried，asmammasays；andreformedrakesmakethebesthusbands，EVERYBODYknows。
Ionlywishhewerenotsougly-THAT'SallIthinkabout:butthenthere'snochoicehereinthecountry；andpapaWILLNOTletusgotoLondon-'
'ButIshouldthinkMr。Hatfieldwouldbefarbetter。'
'Andsohewould，ifhewerelordofAshbyPark-there'snotadoubtofit:butthefactis，IMUSThaveAshbyPark，whoeversharesitwithme。'
'ButMr。Hatfieldthinksyoulikehimallthistime；youdon'tconsiderhowbitterlyhewillbedisappointedwhenhefindshimselfmistaken。'
'NO，indeed!Itwillbeaproperpunishmentforhispresumption-
foreverDARINGtothinkIcouldlikehim。Ishouldenjoynothingsomuchasliftingtheveilfromhiseyes。'
'Thesooneryoudoitthebetterthen。'
'No；Itellyou，Iliketoamusemyselfwithhim。Besides，hedoesn'treallythinkIlikehim。Itakegoodcareofthat:
youdon'tknowhowcleverlyImanage。Hemaypresumetothinkhecaninducemetolikehim；forwhichIshallpunishhimashedeserves。'
'Well，mindyoudon'tgivetoomuchreasonforsuchpresumption-
that'sall，'repliedI。
Butallmyexhortationswereinvain:theyonlymadehersomewhatmoresolicitoustodisguiseherwishesandherthoughtsfromme。
ShetalkednomoretomeabouttheRector；butIcouldseethathermind，ifnotherheart，wasfixeduponhimstill，andthatshewasintentuponobtaininganotherinterview:forthough，incompliancewithhermother'srequest，Iwasnowconstitutedthecompanionofherramblesforatime，shestillpersistedinwanderinginthefieldsandlanesthatlayinthenearestproximitytotheroad；
and，whethershetalkedtomeorreadthebookshecarriedinherhand，shekeptcontinuallypausingtolookroundher，orgazeuptheroadtoseeifanyonewascoming；andifahorsemantrottedby，Icouldtellbyherunqualifiedabuseofthepoorequestrian，whoeverhemightbe，thatshehatedhimBECAUSEhewasnotMr。
Hatfield。
'Surely，'thoughtI，'sheisnotsoindifferenttohimasshebelievesherselftobe，orwouldhaveotherstobelieveher；andhermother'sanxietyisnotsowhollycauselessassheaffirms。'
Threedayspassedaway，andhedidnotmakehisappearance。Ontheafternoonofthefourth，aswewerewalkingbesidethepark-palingsinthememorablefield，eachfurnishedwithabookforIalwaystookcaretoprovidemyselfwithsomethingtobedoingwhenshedidnotrequiremetotalk，shesuddenlyinterruptedmystudiesbyexclaiming-
'Oh，MissGrey!dobesokindastogoandseeMarkWood，andtakehiswifehalf-a-crownfromme-Ishouldhavegivenorsentitaweekago，butquiteforgot。There!'saidshe，throwingmeherpurse，andspeakingveryfast-'Nevermindgettingitoutnow，buttakethepurseandgivethemwhatyoulike；Iwouldgowithyou，butIwanttofinishthisvolume。I'llcomeandmeetyouwhenI'vedoneit。Bequick，willyou-and-oh，wait；hadn'tyoubetterreadtohimabit？Runtothehouseandgetsomesortofagoodbook。Anythingwilldo。'
IdidasIwasdesired；but，suspectingsomethingfromherhurriedmannerandthesuddennessoftherequest，IjustglancedbackbeforeIquittedthefield，andtherewasMr。Hatfieldabouttoenteratthegatebelow。Bysendingmetothehouseforabook，shehadjustpreventedmymeetinghimontheroad。
'Nevermind!'thoughtI，'there'llbenogreatharmdone。PoorMarkwillbegladofthehalf-crown，andperhapsofthegoodbooktoo；andiftheRectordoesstealMissRosalie'sheart，itwillonlyhumbleherpridealittle；andiftheydogetmarriedatlast，itwillonlysaveherfromaworsefate；andshewillbequiteagoodenoughpartnerforhim，andheforher。'
MarkWoodwastheconsumptivelabourerwhomImentionedbefore。
Hewasnowrapidlywearingaway。MissMurray，byherliberality，obtainedliterallytheblessingofhimthatwasreadytoperish；
forthoughthehalf-crowncouldbeofverylittleservicetohim，hewasgladofitforthesakeofhiswifeandchildren，sosoontobewidowedandfatherless。AfterIhadsatafewminutes，andreadalittleforthecomfortandedificationofhimselfandhisafflictedwife，Ileftthem；butIhadnotproceededfiftyyardsbeforeIencounteredMr。Weston，apparentlyonhiswaytothesameabode。Hegreetedmeinhisusualquiet，unaffectedway，stoppedtoinquireabouttheconditionofthesickmanandhisfamily，andwithasortofunconscious，brotherlydisregardtoceremonytookfrommyhandthebookoutofwhichIhadbeenreading，turnedoveritspages，madeafewbriefbutverysensibleremarks，andrestoredit；thentoldmeaboutsomepoorsuffererhehadjustbeenvisiting，talkedalittleaboutNancyBrown，madeafewobservationsuponmylittleroughfriendtheterrier，thatwasfriskingathisfeet，andfinallyuponthebeautyoftheweather，anddeparted。
Ihaveomittedtogiveadetailofhiswords，fromanotionthattheywouldnotinterestthereaderastheydidme，andnotbecauseIhaveforgottenthem。No；Irememberthemwell；forIthoughtthemoverandoveragaininthecourseofthatdayandmanysucceedingones，Iknownothowoften；andrecalledeveryintonationofhisdeep，clearvoice，everyflashofhisquick，browneye，andeverygleamofhispleasant，buttootransientsmile。Suchaconfessionwilllookveryabsurd，Ifear:
butnomatter:Ihavewrittenit:andtheythatreaditwillnotknowthewriter。
WhileIwaswalkingalong，happywithin，andpleasedwithallaround，MissMurraycamehasteningtomeetme；herbuoyantstep，flushedcheek，andradiantsmilesshowingthatshe，too，washappy，inherownway。Runninguptome，sheputherarmthroughmine，andwithoutwaitingtorecoverbreath，began-'Now，MissGrey，thinkyourselfhighlyhonoured，forI'mcometotellyoumynewsbeforeI'vebreathedawordofittoanyoneelse。'
'Well，whatisit？'
'Oh，SUCHnews!Inthefirstplace，youmustknowthatMr。
Hatfieldcameuponmejustafteryouweregone。Iwasinsuchawayforfearpapaormammashouldseehim；butyouknowIcouldn'tcallyoubackagain，andso!-oh，dear!Ican'ttellyouallaboutitnow，forthere'sMatilda，Isee，inthepark，andImustgoandopenmybudgettoher。But，however，Hatfieldwasmostuncommonlyaudacious，unspeakablycomplimentary，andunprecedentedlytender-triedtobeso，atleast-hedidn'tsucceedverywellinTHAT，becauseit'snothisvein。I'lltellyouallhesaidanothertime。'
'ButwhatdidYOUsay-I'mmoreinterestedinthat？'
'I'lltellyouthat，too，atsomefutureperiod。Ihappenedtobeinaverygoodhumourjustthen；but，thoughIwascomplaisantandgraciousenough，Itookcarenottocompromisemyselfinanypossibleway。But，however，theconceitedwretchchosetointerpretmyamiabilityoftemperhisownway，andatlengthpresumeduponmyindulgencesofar-whatdoyouthink？-heactuallymademeanoffer!'
'Andyou-'
'Iproudlydrewmyselfup，andwiththegreatestcoolnessexpressedmyastonishmentatsuchanoccurrence，andhopedhehadseennothinginmyconducttojustifyhisexpectations。YoushouldhaveSEENhowhiscountenancefell!Hewentperfectlywhiteintheface。IassuredhimthatIesteemedhimandallthat，butcouldnotpossiblyaccedetohisproposals；andifIdid，papaandmammacouldneverbebroughttogivetheirconsent。'
'"Butiftheycould，"saidhe，"wouldyoursbewanting？"
'"Certainly，Mr。Hatfield，"Ireplied，withacooldecisionwhichquelledallhopeatonce。Oh，ifyouhadseenhowdreadfullymortifiedhewas-howcrushedtotheearthbyhisdisappointment!
really，Ialmostpitiedhimmyself。
'Onemoredesperateattempt，however，hemade。Afterasilenceofconsiderableduration，duringwhichhestruggledtobecalm，andI
tobegrave-forIfeltastrongpropensitytolaugh-whichwouldhaveruinedall-hesaid，withtheghostofasmile-"Buttellmeplainly，MissMurray，ifIhadthewealthofSirHughMeltham，ortheprospectsofhiseldestson，wouldyoustillrefuseme？Answermetruly，uponyourhonour。"
'"Certainly，"saidI。"Thatwouldmakenodifferencewhatever。"
'Itwasagreatlie，buthelookedsoconfidentinhisownattractionsstill，thatIdeterminednottoleavehimonestoneuponanother。Helookedmefullintheface；butIkeptmycountenancesowellthathecouldnotimagineIwassayinganythingmorethantheactualtruth。
'"Thenit'sallover，Isuppose，"hesaid，lookingasifhecouldhavediedonthespotwithvexationandtheintensityofhisdespair。Buthewasangryaswellasdisappointed。Therewashe，sufferingsounspeakably，andtherewasI，thepitilesscauseofitall，soutterlyimpenetrabletoalltheartilleryofhislooksandwords，socalmlycoldandproud，hecouldnotbutfeelsomeresentment；andwithsingularbitternesshebegan-"Icertainlydidnotexpectthis，MissMurray。Imightsaysomethingaboutyourpastconduct，andthehopesyouhaveledmetofoster，butI
forbear，oncondition-"
'"Noconditions，Mr。Hatfield!"saidI，nowtrulyindignantathisinsolence。
'"Thenletmebegitasafavour，"hereplied，loweringhisvoiceatonce，andtakingahumblertone:"letmeentreatthatyouwillnotmentionthisaffairtoanyonewhatever。Ifyouwillkeepsilenceaboutit，thereneedbenounpleasantnessoneitherside-
nothing，Imean，beyondwhatisquiteunavoidable:formyownfeelingsIwillendeavourtokeeptomyself，ifIcannotannihilatethem-Iwilltrytoforgive，ifIcannotforgetthecauseofmysufferings。Iwillnotsuppose，MissMurray，thatyouknowhowdeeplyyouhaveinjuredme。Iwouldnothaveyouawareofit；
butif，inadditiontotheinjuryyouhavealreadydoneme-pardonme，but，whetherinnocentlyornot，youHAVEdoneit-andifyouaddtoitbygivingpublicitytothisunfortunateaffair，ornamingitATALL，youwillfindthatItoocanspeak，andthoughyouscornedmylove，youwillhardlyscornmy-"
'Hestopped，buthebithisbloodlesslip，andlookedsoterriblyfiercethatIwasquitefrightened。However，myprideupheldmestill，andIanswereddisdainfully；"IdonotknowwhatmotiveyousupposeIcouldhavefornamingittoanyone，Mr。Hatfield；butifIweredisposedtodoso，youwouldnotdetermebythreats；anditisscarcelythepartofagentlemantoattemptit。"
'"Pardonme，MissMurray，"saidhe，"Ihavelovedyousointensely-Idostilladoreyousodeeply，thatIwouldnotwillinglyoffendyou；butthoughIneverhaveloved，andneverCANloveanywomanasIhavelovedyou，itisequallycertainthatIneverwassoill-
treatedbyany。Onthecontrary，IhavealwaysfoundyoursexthekindestandmosttenderandobligingofGod'screation，tillnow。"
Thinkoftheconceitedfellowsayingthat!"Andthenoveltyandharshnessofthelessonyouhavetaughtmeto-day，andthebitternessofbeingdisappointedintheonlyquarteronwhichthehappinessofmylifedepended，mustexcuseanyappearanceofasperity。Ifmypresenceisdisagreeabletoyou，MissMurray，"
hesaidforIwaslookingaboutmetoshowhowlittleIcaredforhim，sohethoughtIwastiredofhim，Isuppose-"ifmypresenceisdisagreeabletoyou，MissMurray，youhaveonlytopromisemethefavourInamed，andIwillrelieveyouatonce。Therearemanyladies-someeveninthisparish-whowouldbedelightedtoacceptwhatyouhavesoscornfullytrampledunderyourfeet。Theywouldbenaturallyinclinedtohateonewhosesurpassinglovelinesshassocompletelyestrangedmyheartfromthemandblindedmetotheirattractions；andasinglehintofthetruthfrommetooneofthesewouldbesufficienttoraisesuchatalkagainstyouaswouldseriouslyinjureyourprospects，anddiminishyourchanceofsuccesswithanyothergentlemanyouoryourmammamightdesigntoentangle。"
'"Whatdoyourmean，sir？"saidI，readytostampwithpassion。
'"Imeanthatthisaffairfrombeginningtoendappearstomelikeacaseofarrantflirtation，tosaytheleastofit-suchacaseasyouwouldfinditratherinconvenienttohaveblazonedthroughtheworld:especiallywiththeadditionsandexaggerationsofyourfemalerivals，whowouldbetoogladtopublishthematter，ifI
onlygavethemahandletoit。ButIpromiseyou，onthefaithofagentleman，thatnowordorsyllablethatcouldtendtoyourprejudiceshalleverescapemylips，providedyouwill-"
'"Well，well，Iwon'tmentionit，"saidI。"Youmayrelyuponmysilence，ifthatcanaffordyouanyconsolation。"
'"Youpromiseit？"
'"Yes，"Ianswered；forIwantedtogetridofhimnow。
'"Farewell，then!"saidhe，inamostdoleful，heart-sicktone；andwithalookwherepridevainlystruggledagainstdespair，heturnedandwentaway:longing，nodoubt，togethome，thathemightshuthimselfupinhisstudyandcry-ifhedoesn'tburstintotearsbeforehegetsthere。'
'Butyouhavebrokenyourpromisealready，'saidI，trulyhorrifiedatherperfidy。
'Oh!it'sonlytoyou；Iknowyouwon'trepeatit。'
'Certainly，Ishallnot:butyousayyouaregoingtotellyoursister；andshewilltellyourbrotherswhentheycomehome，andBrownimmediately，ifyoudonottellheryourself；andBrownwillblazonit，orbethemeansofblazoningit，throughoutthecountry。'
'No，indeed，shewon't。Weshallnottellheratall，unlessitbeunderthepromiseofthestrictestsecrecy。'
'Buthowcanyouexpecthertokeepherpromisesbetterthanhermoreenlightenedmistress？'
'Well，well，sheshan'thearitthen，'saidMissMurray，somewhatsnappishly。
'Butyouwilltellyourmamma，ofcourse，'pursuedI；'andshewilltellyourpapa。'
'OfcourseIshalltellmamma-thatistheverythingthatpleasesmesomuch。Ishallnowbeabletoconvinceherhowmistakenshewasinherfearsaboutme。'
'Oh，THAT'Sit，isit？Iwaswonderingwhatitwasthatdelightedyousomuch。'
'Yes；andanotherthingis，thatI'vehumbledMr。Hatfieldsocharmingly；andanother-why，youmustallowmesomeshareoffemalevanity:Idon'tpretendtobewithoutthatmostessentialattributeofoursex-andifyouhadseenpoorHatfield'sintenseeagernessinmakinghisardentdeclarationandhisflatteringproposal，andhisagonyofmind，thatnoeffortofpridecouldconceal，onbeingrefused，youwouldhaveallowedIhadsomecausetobegratified。'
'Thegreaterhisagony，Ishouldthink，thelessyourcauseforgratification。'
'Oh，nonsense!'criedtheyounglady，shakingherselfwithvexation。'Youeithercan'tunderstandme，oryouwon't。
IfIhadnotconfidenceinyourmagnanimity，Ishouldthinkyouenviedme。
Butyouwill，perhaps，comprehendthiscauseofpleasure-whichisasgreatasany-namely，thatIamdelightedwithmyselfformyprudence，myself-command，myheartlessness，ifyouplease。I
wasnotabittakenbysurprise，notabitconfused，orawkward，orfoolish；IjustactedandspokeasIoughttohavedone，andwascompletelymyownmistressthroughout。Andherewasaman，decidedlygood-looking-JaneandSusanGreencallhimbewitchinglyhandsomeIsupposethey'retwooftheladieshepretendswouldbesogladtohavehim；but，however，hewascertainlyaveryclever，witty，agreeablecompanion-notwhatyoucallclever，butjustenoughtomakehimentertaining；andamanoneneedn'tbeashamedofanywhere，andwouldnotsoongrowtiredof；andtoconfessthetruth，Iratherlikedhim-bettereven，oflate，thanHarryMeltham-andheevidentlyidolisedme；andyet，thoughhecameuponmeallaloneandunprepared，Ihadthewisdom，andthepride，andthestrengthtorefusehim-andsoscornfullyandcoollyasI
did:Ihavegoodreasontobeproudofthat。'
'AndareyouequallyproudofhavingtoldhimthathishavingthewealthofSirHughMelthamwouldmakenodifferencetoyou，whenthatwasnotthecase；andofhavingpromisedtotellnooneofhismisadventure，apparentlywithouttheslightestintentionofkeepingyourpromise？'
'Ofcourse!whatelsecouldIdo？Youwouldnothavehadme-
butIsee，MissGrey，you'renotinagoodtemper。Here'sMatilda；
I'llseewhatsheandmammahavetosayaboutit。'
Sheleftme，offendedatmywantofsympathy，andthinking，nodoubt，thatIenviedher。Ididnot-atleast，IfirmlybelievedIdidnot。Iwassorryforher；Iwasamazed，disgustedatherheartlessvanity；Iwonderedwhysomuchbeautyshouldbegiventothosewhomadesobadauseofit，anddeniedtosomewhowouldmakeitabenefittoboththemselvesandothers。
But，Godknowsbest，Iconcluded。Thereare，Isuppose，somemenasvain，asselfish，andasheartlessassheis，and，perhaps，suchwomenmaybeusefultopunishthem。
chapter15
CHAPTERXV-THEWALK
'OH，dear!IwishHatfieldhadnotbeensoprecipitate!'saidRosalienextdayatfourP。M。，as，withaportentousyawn，shelaiddownherworsted-workandlookedlistlesslytowardsthewindow。
'There'snoinducementtogooutnow；andnothingtolookforwardto。Thedayswillbesolonganddullwhentherearenopartiestoenliventhem；andtherearenonethisweek，ornexteither，thatI
knowof。'
'Pityyouweresocrosstohim，'observedMatilda，towhomthislamentationwasaddressed。'He'llnevercomeagain:andIsuspectyoulikedhimafterall。Ihopedyouwouldhavetakenhimforyourbeau，andleftdearHarrytome。'
'Humph!mybeaumustbeanAdonisindeed，Matilda，theadmiredofallbeholders，ifIamtobecontentedwithhimalone。I'msorrytoloseHatfield，Iconfess；butthefirstdecentman，ornumberofmen，thatcometosupplyhisplace，willbemorethanwelcome。
It'sSundayto-morrow-Idowonderhowhe'lllook，andwhetherhe'llbeabletogothroughtheservice。Mostlikelyhe'llpretendhe'sgotacold，andmakeMr。Westondoitall。'
'Nothe!'exclaimedMatilda，somewhatcontemptuously。'Foolasheis，he'snotsosoftasthatcomesto。'
Hersisterwasslightlyoffended；buttheeventprovedMatildawasright:thedisappointedloverperformedhispastoraldutiesasusual。Rosalie，indeed，affirmedhelookedverypaleanddejected:
hemightbealittlepaler；butthedifference，ifany，wasscarcelyperceptible。Asforhisdejection，Icertainlydidnothearhislaughringingfromthevestryasusual，norhisvoiceloudinhilariousdiscourse；thoughIdidhearitupliftedinratingthesextoninamannerthatmadethecongregationstare；and，inhistransitstoandfromthepulpitandthecommunion-table，therewasmoreofsolemnpomp，andlessofthatirreverent，self-confident，orratherself-delightedimperiousnesswithwhichheusuallysweptalong-thatairthatseemedtosay，'Youallreverenceandadoreme，Iknow；butifanyonedoesnot，Idefyhimtotheteeth!'
Butthemostremarkablechangewas，thatheneveroncesufferedhiseyestowanderinthedirectionofMr。Murray'spew，anddidnotleavethechurchtillweweregone。
Mr。Hatfieldhaddoubtlessreceivedaverysevereblow；buthisprideimpelledhimtouseeveryefforttoconcealtheeffectsofit。Hehadbeendisappointedinhiscertainhopeofobtainingnotonlyabeautiful，and，tohim，highlyattractivewife，butonewhoserankandfortunemightgivebrilliancetofarinferiorcharms:hewaslikewise，nodoubt，intenselymortifiedbyhisrepulse，anddeeplyoffendedattheconductofMissMurraythroughout。Itwouldhavegivenhimnolittleconsolationtohaveknownhowdisappointedshewastofindhimapparentlysolittlemoved，andtoseethathewasabletorefrainfromcastingasingleglanceatherthroughoutbothservices；though，shedeclared，itshowedhewasthinkingofherallthetime，orhiseyeswouldhavefallenuponher，ifitwereonlybychance:butiftheyhadsochancedtofall，shewouldhaveaffirmeditwasbecausetheycouldnotresisttheattraction。Itmighthavepleasedhim，too，insomedegree，tohaveseenhowdullanddissatisfiedshewasthroughoutthatweekthegreaterpartofit，atleast，forlackofherusualsourceofexcitement；andhowoftensheregrettedhaving'usedhimupsosoon，'likeachildthat，havingdevoureditsplumcaketoohastily，sitssuckingitsfingers，andvainlylamentingitsgreediness。
AtlengthIwascalledupon，onefinemorning，toaccompanyherinawalktothevillage。OstensiblyshewenttogetsomeshadesofBerlinwool，atatolerablyrespectableshopthatwaschieflysupportedbytheladiesofthevicinity:really-ItrustthereisnobreachofcharityinsupposingthatshewentwiththeideaofmeetingeitherwiththeRectorhimself，orsomeotheradmirerbytheway；foraswewentalong，shekeptwondering'whatHatfieldwoulddoorsay，ifwemethim，'&；c。&；c。；aswepassedMr。Green'spark-gates，she'wonderedwhetherhewasathome-greatstupidblockhead'；asLadyMeltham'scarriagepassedus，she'wonderedwhatMr。Harrywasdoingthisfineday'；andthenbegantoabusehiselderbrotherforbeing'suchafoolastogetmarriedandgoandliveinLondon。'
'Why，'saidI，'IthoughtyouwantedtoliveinLondonyourself。'
'Yes，becauseit'ssodullhere:butthenhemakesitstilldullerbytakinghimselfoff:andifhewerenotmarriedImighthavehiminsteadofthatodiousSirThomas。'
Then，observingtheprintsofahorse'sfeetonthesomewhatmiryroad，she'wonderedwhetheritwasagentleman'shorse，'andfinallyconcludeditwas，fortheimpressionsweretoosmalltohavebeenmadebya'greatclumsycart-horse'；andthenshe'wonderedwhotheridercouldbe，'andwhetherweshouldmeethimcomingback，forshewassurehehadonlypassedthatmorning；andlastly，whenweenteredthevillageandsawonlyafewofitshumbleinhabitantsmovingabout，she'wonderedwhythestupidpeoplecouldn'tkeepintheirhouses；shewassureshedidn'twanttoseetheiruglyfaces，anddirty，vulgarclothes-itwasn'tforthatshecametoHorton!'
Amidallthis，Iconfess，Iwondered，too，insecret，whetherweshouldmeet，orcatchaglimpseofsomebodyelse；andaswepassedhislodgings，Ievenwentsofarastowonderwhetherhewasatthewindow。Onenteringtheshop，MissMurraydesiredmetostandinthedoorwaywhileshetransactedherbusiness，andtellherifanyonepassed。Butalas!therewasnoonevisiblebesidesthevillagers，exceptJaneandSusanGreencomingdownthesinglestreet，apparentlyreturningfromawalk。
'Stupidthings!'mutteredshe，asshecameoutafterhavingconcludedherbargain。'Whycouldn'ttheyhavetheirdoltofabrotherwiththem？evenhewouldbebetterthannothing。'
Shegreetedthem，however，withacheerfulsmile，andprotestationsofpleasureatthehappymeetingequaltotheirown。Theyplacedthemselvesoneoneachsideofher，andallthreewalkedawaychattingandlaughingasyoungladiesdowhentheygettogether，iftheybebutontolerablyintimateterms。ButI，feelingmyselftobeonetoomany，leftthemtotheirmerrimentandlaggedbehind，asusualonsuchoccasions:IhadnorelishforwalkingbesideMissGreenorMissSusanlikeonedeafanddumb，whocouldneitherspeaknorbespokento。
ButthistimeIwasnotlongalone。Itstruckme，first，asveryodd，thatjustasIwasthinkingaboutMr。Westonheshouldcomeupandaccostme；butafterwards，onduereflection，Ithoughttherewasnothingoddaboutit，unlessitwerethefactofhisspeakingtome；foronsuchamorningandsonearhisownabode，itwasnaturalenoughthatheshouldbeabout；andasformythinkingofhim，Ihadbeendoingthat，withlittleintermission，eversincewesetoutonourjourney；sotherewasnothingremarkableinthat。
'Youarealoneagain，MissGrey，'saidhe。
'Yes。'
'Whatkindofpeoplearethoseladies-theMissesGreen？'
'Ireallydon'tknow。'
'That'sstrange-whenyoulivesonearandseethemsooften!'
'Well，Isupposetheyarelively，good-temperedgirls；butI
imagineyoumustknowthembetterthanIdo，yourself，forIneverexchangedawordwitheitherofthem。'
'Indeed？Theydon'tstrikemeasbeingparticularlyreserved。'
'Verylikelytheyarenotsotopeopleoftheirownclass；buttheyconsiderthemselvesasmovinginquiteadifferentspherefromme!'
Hemadenoreplytothis:butafterashortpause，hesaid，-
'I
supposeit'sthesethings，MissGrey，thatmakeyouthinkyoucouldnotlivewithoutahome？'
'Notexactly。ThefactisIamtoosociallydisposedtobeabletolivecontentedlywithoutafriend；andastheonlyfriendsIhave，oramlikelytohave，areathome，ifit-orrather，iftheyweregone-IwillnotsayIcouldnotlive-butIwouldrathernotliveinsuchadesolateworld。'
'Butwhydoyousaytheonlyfriendsyouarelikelytohave？Areyousounsociablethatyoucannotmakefriends？'
'No，butInevermadeoneyet；andinmypresentpositionthereisnopossibilityofdoingso，orevenofformingacommonacquaintance。Thefaultmaybepartlyinmyself，butIhopenotaltogether。'
'Thefaultispartlyinsociety，andpartly，Ishouldthink，inyourimmediateneighbours:andpartly，too，inyourself；formanyladies，inyourposition，wouldmakethemselvesbenoticedandaccountedof。Butyourpupilsshouldbecompanionsforyouinsomedegree；theycannotbemanyyearsyoungerthanyourself。'
'Oh，yes，theyaregoodcompanysometimes；butIcannotcallthemfriends，norwouldtheythinkofbestowingsuchanameonme-theyhaveothercompanionsbettersuitedtotheirtastes。'
'Perhapsyouaretoowiseforthem。Howdoyouamuseyourselfwhenalone-doyoureadmuch？'
'Readingismyfavouriteoccupation，whenIhaveleisureforitandbookstoread。'
Fromspeakingofbooksingeneral，hepassedtodifferentbooksinparticular，andproceededbyrapidtransitionsfromtopictotopic，tillseveralmatters，bothoftasteandopinion，hadbeendiscussedconsiderablywithinthespaceofhalfanhour，butwithouttheembellishmentofmanyobservationsfromhimself；hebeingevidentlylessbentuponcommunicatinghisownthoughtsandpredilections，thanondiscoveringmine。Hehadnotthetact，ortheart，toeffectsuchapurposebyskilfullydrawingoutmysentimentsorideasthroughtherealorapparentstatementofhisown，orleadingtheconversationbyimperceptiblegradationstosuchtopicsashewishedtoadvertto:butsuchgentleabruptness，andsuchsingle-
mindedstraightforwardness，couldnotpossiblyoffendme。
'Andwhyshouldheinteresthimselfatallinmymoralandintellectualcapacities:whatisittohimwhatIthinkorfeel？'
Iaskedmyself。Andmyheartthrobbedinanswertothequestion。
ButJaneandSusanGreensoonreachedtheirhome。Astheystoodparleyingatthepark-gates，attemptingtopersuadeMissMurraytocomein，IwishedMr。Westonwouldgo，thatshemightnotseehimwithmewhensheturnedround；but，unfortunately，hisbusiness，whichwastopayonemorevisittopoorMarkWood，ledhimtopursuethesamepathaswedid，tillnearlythecloseofourjourney。When，however，hesawthatRosaliehadtakenleaveofherfriendsandIwasabouttojoinher，hewouldhaveleftmeandpassedonataquickerpace；but，ashecivillyliftedhishatinpassingher，tomysurprise，insteadofreturningthesalutewithastiff，ungraciousbow，sheaccostedhimwithoneofhersweetestsmiles，and，walkingbyhisside，begantotalktohimwithallimaginablecheerfulnessandaffability；andsoweproceededallthreetogether。
Afterashortpauseintheconversation，Mr。Westonmadesomeremarkaddressedparticularlytome，asreferringtosomethingwehadbeentalkingofbefore；butbeforeIcouldanswer，MissMurrayrepliedtotheobservationandenlargeduponit:herejoined；
and，fromthencetothecloseoftheinterview，sheengrossedhimentirelytoherself。Itmightbepartlyowingtomyownstupidity，mywantoftactandassurance:butIfeltmyselfwronged:
I
trembledwithapprehension；andIlistenedwithenvytohereasy，rapidflowofutterance，andsawwithanxietythebrightsmilewithwhichshelookedintohisfacefromtimetotime:forshewaswalkingalittleinadvance，forthepurposeasIjudgedofbeingseenaswellasheard。Ifherconversationwaslightandtrivial，itwasamusing，andshewasneveratalossforsomethingtosay，orforsuitablewordstoexpressitin。Therewasnothingpertorflippantinhermannernow，aswhenshewalkedwithMr。Hatfield，therewasonlyagentle，playfulkindofvivacity，whichIthoughtmustbepeculiarlypleasingtoamanofMr。Weston'sdispositionandtemperament。
Whenhewasgoneshebegantolaugh，andmutteredtoherself，'I
thoughtIcoulddoit!'
'Dowhat？'Iasked。
'Fixthatman。'
'Whatintheworlddoyoumean？'
'Imeanthathewillgohomeanddreamofme。Ihaveshothimthroughtheheart!'
'Howdoyouknow？'
'Bymanyinfallibleproofs:moreespeciallythelookhegavemewhenhewentaway。Itwasnotanimpudentlook-Iexoneratehimfromthat-itwasalookofreverential，tenderadoration。Ha，ha!he'snotquitesuchastupidblockheadasIthoughthim!'
Imadenoanswer，formyheartwasinmythroat，orsomethinglikeit，andIcouldnottrustmyselftospeak。'OGod，avertit!'
I
cried，internally-'forhissake，notformine!'
MissMurraymadeseveraltrivialobservationsaswepassedupthepark，towhichinspiteofmyreluctancetoletoneglimpseofmyfeelingsappearIcouldonlyanswerbymonosyllables。Whethersheintendedtotormentme，ormerelytoamuseherself，Icouldnottell-anddidnotmuchcare；butIthoughtofthepoormanandhisonelamb，andtherichmanwithhisthousandflocks；andIdreadedIknewnotwhatforMr。Weston，independentlyofmyownblightedhopes。
RightgladwasItogetintothehouse，andfindmyselfaloneoncemoreinmyownroom。Myfirstimpulsewastosinkintothechairbesidethebed；andlayingmyheadonthepillow，toseekreliefinapassionateburstoftears:therewasanimperativecravingforsuchanindulgence；but，alas!Imustrestrainandswallowbackmyfeelingsstill:therewasthebell-theodiousbellfortheschoolroomdinner；andImustgodownwithacalmface，andsmile，andlaugh，andtalknonsense-yes，andeat，too，ifpossible，asifallwasright，andIwasjustreturnedfromapleasantwalk。
chapter16
CHAPTERXVI-THESUBSTITUTION
NEXTSundaywasoneofthegloomiestofAprildays-adayofthick，darkclouds，andheavyshowers。NoneoftheMurraysweredisposedtoattendchurchintheafternoon，exceptingRosalie: