Thechildtoohasnocompunctionincorrectingaparentevenbeforestrangers,andwhatisstrangerstilltheparentacceptsthecorrectioningoodpart,andsometimesevenwiththanks。Aparentisofteninterruptedinthecourseofanarrative,ordiscussion,byasmallpipingvoice,settingright,orwhatitbelievestoberight,somedate,place,orfact,andtheparent,afterawordofencouragementorthanks,proceeds。
  Howdifferentisourrulethatachildisnottospeakuntilspokento!
  InChineseofficiallifeundertheoldregimeitwasnotetiquetteforoneofficialtocontradictanother,especiallywhentheywereunequalinrank。Whenahighofficialexpressedviewswhichhissubordinatesdidnotendorse,theycouldnotcandidlygivetheiropinion,buthadtoremainsilent。IrememberthatsomeyearsagosomeofmycolleaguesandIhadanaudiencewithaveryhighofficial,andwhenIexpressedmydissentfromsomeoftheviewsofthathighfunctionary,herebukedmeseverely。
  Afterwardhecalledmetohimprivately,andspoketomesomewhatasfollows:
  "Whatyousaidjustnowwasquitecorrect。Iwaswrong,andIwilladoptyourviews,butyoumustnotcontradictmeinthepresenceofotherpeople。Donotdoitagain。"
  Thereisofcoursemuchtobesaidforandagainsteachsystem,andperhapsablendofthetwowouldgivegoodresults。
  Anyhow,wecantraceinAmericancustomsthatspiritofequalitywhichpervadesthewholeofAmericansociety,andobservethegermsofself-relianceandindependencesocharacteristicofAmericans,whethermen,women,orchildren。
  EventhedomesticservantdoesnotlosethispreciousAmericanheritageofequality。Ihavenothingtosayagainstthatworthyindividual,theAmericanservantifonecanbefound;onthecontrary,noneismorefaithfulormoreefficient。Butinsomerespectsheisuniqueamongtheservantsoftheworld。Hedoesnotseethatthereisanyinequalitybetweenhimandhismaster。Hismaster,orshouldIsay,hisemployer,payshimcertainwagestodocertainwork,andhedoesit,butoutsidetheboundsofthiscontract,theyarestillmanandman,citizenandcitizen。Itisallbeautifully,delightfullylegal。
  Thewasherwomanisthe"wash-lady",andisjustasmuchaladyashermistress。Theword"servant"isnotappliedtodomestics,"help"isusedinstead,verymuchinthesamewaythatCanadaandAustraliaarenolongerEnglish"colonies",but"self-governingdominions"。
  Weoftheoldworldareaccustomedtoregarddomesticserviceasaprofessioninwhichthemembersworkforadvancement,withoutmuchthoughtofeverchangingtheirposition。
  Afewcleverpersonsmayultimatelyadoptanotherprofession,and,accordingtoourantiquatedconservativewaysofthinking,risehigherinthesocialscale,but,forthelargemajority,thedignityofabutler,orahousekeeperistheheightofambition,thecrowningpointintheircareer。NotsotheAmericanservant。
  StrictlyspeakingtherearenoservantsinAmerica。Theman,orthewomanasthecasemaybe,whohappensforthemomenttobeyourservant,isonlyservantforthetimebeing。Hehasnointentionofmakingdomesticservicehisprofession,ofbeingaservantforthewholeofhislife。Tohavetobesubjecttothewillofothers,eventothesmallextenttowhichAmericanservantsaresubordinate,isoffensivetoanAmerican'sprideofcitizenship,itiscontrarytohisconceptionofAmericanequality。Heisaservantonlyforthetime,anduntilhefindssomethingbettertodo。Heacceptsamenialpositiononlyasasteppingstonetosomemoreindependentemployment。
  IsittobewonderedatthatAmericanservantshavedifferentmannersfromtheirbrethreninothercountries?WhenforeignersfindthatAmericanservantsarenotlikeservantsintheirowncountry,theyshouldnotresenttheirbehavior:itdoesnotdenotedisrespect,itisonlytheoutcropoftheirnaturalindependenceandaspirations。
  AlltitlesofnobilityarebytheConstitutionexpresslyforbidden。
  Eventitlesofhonororcourtesyarebutrarelyused。"Honorable"isusedtodesignatemembersofCongress;andforafewAmericans,suchasthePresidentandtheAmbassadors,thetitle"Excellency"ispermitted。Yet,whetheritisbecausethepersonsentitledtobesoaddresseddonotthinkthateventhesemildtitlesareconsistentwithAmericandemocracy,orbecausetheAmericanpublicfeelsawkwardinemployingsuchstiltedtermsofaddress,theyarenotoftenused。IrememberthatononeoccasionamuchrespectedChiefExecutive,onmyproposing,inaccordancewithdiplomaticusageandprecedent,toaddresshimas"YourExcellency",beggedmetosubstituteinstead"Mr。President"。Theplaindemocratic"Mr。"
  suitsthedemocraticAmericantastemuchbetterthananyothertitle,andisappliedequallytothePresidentoftheRepublicandtohiscoachman。
  IndeedtheplainnameJohnSmith,withouteven"Mr。",notonlygivesnooffense,wheresomehighertitlemightbeemployed,butfitsjustaswell,andisinfactoftenused。Evenprominentanddistinguishedmendonotresentnicknames;forexample,thecelebratedpersonwhosenameissointimatelyconnectedwiththatdelightofAmericanchildrenandgrown-ups——the"TeddyBear"。
  Thischaracteristic,likesomanyotherAmericancharacteristics,isduenotonlytotheloveofequalityandindependence,butalsotothedislikeofanywasteoftime。
  Incountrieswherethereareelaboraterulesofetiquetteconcerningtitlesandformsofaddress,nonebutaMasterofCeremoniescanhopetobethoroughlyfamiliarwiththem,ortobeabletoaddressthedistinguishedpeoplewithoutwithholdingfromthemtheirdueshareofhigh-soundingtitlesandepithets;
  and,beitwhispered,thesesamedistinguishedpeople,howeverbroad-mindedandmagnanimoustheymaybeinotherrespects,aresometimesextremelysensitiveinthisrespect。
  Andevenafteronehasmasteredalltherulesandforms,andcanappreciateanddistinguishthevariousniceshadeswhichexistbetween"HisSereneHighness","HisHighness","HisRoyalHighness",and"HisImperialHighness",orbetween"Rt。Rev。"and"MostRev。",onehasyettolearnwhattitlesaparticularpersonhas,andwithwhatparticularformofaddressheshouldbeapproached,animpossibletaskevenforaMasterofCeremonies,unlesshealwayshasinhispocketaBurke'sPeeragetotellhimwho'swho。
  Whatawasteoftime,whataninconvenience,andwhatanunnecessaryamountofirritationandannoyanceallthiscauses。HowmuchbettertobeabletoaddressanypersonyoumeetsimplyasMr。So-and-So,withoutunwittinglytreadingonsomebody'ssensitivecorns!
  Americanshaveshowntheircommonsenseindoingawaywithtitlesaltogether,anexamplewhichthesisterRepublicofChinaisfollowing。
  Anillustriousnamelosesnothingforhavingtostandbyitselfwithoutprefixesandsuffixes,handlesandtails。Mr。GladstonewasnolesshimselffornotprefixinghisnamewithEarl,andtheothertitlestowhichitwouldhaveentitledhim,ashecouldhavedonehadhenotdeclinedtheso-calledhonor。
  Indeed,likethe"GreatCommoner",he,ifthatwerepossible,endearedhimselfthemoretohiscountrymenbecauseofhisrefusal。Aname,whichisgreatwithoutresortingtotheborrowedlightoftitlesandhonors,isgreaterthananypossiblesuffixoraffixwhichcouldbeappendedtoit。
  Inconclusion,AmericanmannersarebutaninstanceorresultofthetwopredominantAmericancharacteristicstowhichIhavealreadyreferred,andwhichreappearinsomanyotherthingsAmerican。
  Aloveofindependenceandofequality,earlyinculcated,andakeenabhorrenceofwasteoftime,engenderedbytheconditionsandcircumstancesofanewcountry,servetoexplainpracticallyallthemannersandmannerismsofAmericans。Eventhefamiliarspectacleofmenwalkingwiththeirhandsdeepintheirtrousers'pockets,orsittingwiththeirlegscrossedneedsnootherexplanation,andtosuggestthat,becauseAmericanshavesomehabitswhicharepeculiarlytheirown,theyareeitherinferiororunmanly,wouldbetodothemagraveinjustice。
  Fewpeoplearemorewarm-hearted,genial,andsociablethantheAmericans。
  Idonotdwellonthis,becauseitisquiteunnecessary。Thefactisperfectlyfamiliartoallwhohavetheslightestknowledgeofthem。
  Theirkindnessandwarmthtostrangersareparticularlypleasant,andaremuchappreciatedbytheirvisitors。Insomeothercountries,thepeople,thoughnotunsociable,surroundthemselveswithsomuchreservethatstrangersareatfirstchilledandrepulsed,althoughtherearenopleasanterormorehospitablepersonsanywheretobefoundwhenonceyouhavebrokentheice,andlearnedtoknowthem;
  butitisthestrangerwhomustmakethefirstadvances,fortheythemselveswillmakenoefforttobecomeacquainted,andtheirmannerissuchastodiscourageanyeffortsonthepartofthevisitor。Youmaytravelwiththemforhoursinthesamecar,sitoppositetothem,andallthewhiletheywillshelterthemselvesbehindanewspaper,thebroadsheetsofwhicheffectivelyprohibitanyattemptsatcloseracquaintance。Thefollowinginstance,culledfromapersonalexperience,isanillustration。IwasalawstudentatLincoln'sInn,London,wherethereisasplendidlawlibraryfortheuseofthestudentsandmembersoftheInn。Iusedtogotherealmosteverydaytopursuemylegalstudies,andgenerallysatinthesamequietcorner。
  Theseatontheoppositesideofthetablewasusuallyoccupiedbyanotherlawstudent。Formonthswesatoppositeeachotherwithoutexchangingaword。IthoughtIwastooformalandreserved,soIendeavoredtoimprovemattersbyoccasionallylookingupathimasifabouttoaddresshim,buteverytimeIdidsohelookeddownasthoughhedidnotwishtoseeme。FinallyIgaveuptheattempt。
  ThisisthegeneralhabitwithEnglishgentlemen。Theywillnotspeaktoastrangerwithoutaproperintroduction;butinthecaseIhavementionedsurelytherulewouldhavebeenmorehonoredbyabreachthanbytheobservance。Seeingthatwewerefellowstudents,itmighthavebeenpresumedthatweweregentlemenandonanequalfooting。
  HowdifferentarethemannersoftheAmerican!Youcanhardlytakeawalk,orgoforanydistanceinatrain,withoutbeingaddressedbyastranger,andnotinfrequentlymakingafriend。Insomecountriesthefactthatyouareaforeigneronlythickenstheice,inAmericaitthawsit。ThisdelightfultraitintheAmericancharacterisalsotraceabletothesamecauseasthatwhichhashelpedustoexplaintheotherpeculiaritieswhichhavebeenmentioned。TogoodAmericans,notonlyarethecitizensofAmericabornequal,butthecitizensoftheworldarealsobornequal。
  Chapter9。AmericanWomenItisratherboldonmyparttotakeupthissubject。Itisapathwhere"foolsrushinwhereangelsfeartotread"。NomatterwhatIsayitissuretoprovokecriticism,buthavingfrequentlybeenaskedbymyladyfriendstogivemyopinionofAmericanwomen,andhavinggivenmysolemnpromisethatifIevershouldwritemyimpressionsofAmericaIwoulddoso,itwouldbeaserious"breachofpromise"ifIshouldnowbreakmyword。
  Ingeneraltherearethreeclassesofwomen:first,thosewhowishtobepraised;secondly,thosewhowishtobeadverselycriticizedandcondemned;andthirdly,thosewhoaresimplycurioustohearwhatothersthinkofthem。Americanwomendonotasarulebelongtoeitherthefirstorthesecondclass,butalargemajorityofthemmayberangedunderclassthree。Theywishtoknowwhatotherpeoplehonestlythinkofthemandtoheartheircandidviews。
  Theyareprogressivepeoplewhodesiretoimprovetheirdefectswhenevertheyarepointedouttothem。ThatbeingthecaseImustnotswervefrommydutyofsittinginahighcourtofjusticetopassjudgmentonthem。
  Tobeginwith,theAmericanwomenareinsomerespectsdissimilartothewomenofothernations。Ifindthemsprightly,talkativeandwellinformed。
  Theycanconverseonanysubjectwitheaseandresource,showingthattheyhaveagoodall-roundeducation。OftenhaveIderivedconsiderableinformationfromthem。Thepersistencewithwhichtheysticktotheiropinionsisremarkable。Once,whenIhadaladyvisitoratmyLegationinWashington,afterseveralmattershadbeendiscussedwecommencedtalkingaboutwomen'srights。Iwasinfavorofgivingwomenmorerightsthantheyareenjoying,butonsomepointsIdidnotgosofarasmyladyfriend;afterarguingwithmeforseveralhours,she,seeingthatIdidnotcoincidewithallherviews,threatenedthatshewouldnotleavemyhouseuntilIhadfullydigestedallherpoints,andhadbecomeconvertedtoherviews。
  IhaveobservedthatmanyAmericanwomenmarryforeigners,butthatanAmericanrarelyhasaforeignwife。ItmaybesaidthatforeignersmarryAmericangirlsfortheirmoney,whileAmericanwomenmarrydistinguishedforeignersfortheirtitles。Thismayhavebeentrueinsomecases,butothercausesthansuchsordidmotivesmustbelookedfor。
  ItistheattractivenessandthebeautyoftheAmericangirlswhichenablethemtocapturesomanyforeignhusbands。
  Theirpleasantmannersandwinsomenaturepredisposeapersonintheirfavor,andwiththeirwell-groundededucationandreadyfundofknowledge,theyeasilywinanygentlemanwithmaritalpropensities。
  HadIbeensinglewhenIfirstvisitedAmericaItoomighthavebeenavictim——nowonderthenthatAmericanmenpreferAmericanwives。
  OnceIwasaninvoluntarymatch-maker。Someyearsago,duringmyfirstmissioninWashington,IwasinvitedtoattendtheweddingofthedaughteroftheChiefJusticeoftheSupremeCourt。
  WhenIenteredthebreakfastroom,Isawthebridesmaidsandanumberofyoungmen。GoinguptooneofthebridesmaidswhomIhadpreviouslymet,andwhowasthedaughterofaSenator,Iaskedherwhenitwouldbeherturntobecomeabride。
  Shemodestlysaidthatshedidnotknow,asshehadnotyethadanoffer。
  Turningtothegroupofyoungmenwhowereintheroom,Ijocularlyremarkedtooneofthem,"Thisisabeautifullady,wouldyounotliketomarryher?"Hereplied,"Ishallbemostdelightedto。"
  ThenIsaidtotheyounglady,"Willyouaccepthisoffer?"
  Sheseemedslightlyembarrassedandsaidsomethingtotheeffectthatasshedidnotknowthegentlemanshecouldnotgiveadefiniteanswer。
  AfterafewdaysImettheyoungladyatan"AtHome"partywhenshescoldedmeforbeingsobluntwithherbeforetheyoungmen。
  ItoldherIwasactuatedbythebestofmotives,andafewmonthslaterIreceivedaninvitationfromtheyounglady'sparentsinvitingmetobepresentattheirdaughter'smarriage。
  IthoughtIwouldgoandfindoutwhetherthebridegroomwastheyoungmanwhomIhadintroducedtotheyounglady,andassoonasIenteredthehouse,themotherofthebride,tomyagreeablesurprise,informedmethatitwasIwhohadfirstbroughttheyoungcoupletogether,andboththebrideandbridegroomheartilythankedmeformygoodoffices。
  OneveryconspicuousfeatureinthecharacterofAmericanwomenistheirself-controlandindependence。Assoonasagirlgrowsupsheisallowedtodowhatshepleases,withoutthecontrolofherparents。
  Itisacommonoccurrencetoseeayoungladytravellingalonewithouteitheracompanionorachaperon。TravellingononeoccasionfromSanFranciscotoWashingtonImetayoungladyonthetrainwhowasstillinherteens。ShetoldmethatshewasgoingtoNewYorktoembarkonasteamerforGermany,withtheintentionofenteringaGermancollege。Shewasundertakingthislongjourneyalone。
  SuchanincidentwouldbeimpossibleinChina;eveninEngland,orindeedinanyEuropeancountry,Ihardlybelievethatarespectableyounggirlwouldbeallowedtotakesuchajourneywithoutsometrustyfriendtolookafterher。ButinAmericathisisacommonoccurrence,anditisacredittotheadministration,andspeaksvolumesforthegoodgovernmentofthecountry,thatforsensiblewide-awakeAmericangirlssuchundertakingsareperfectlysafe。
  Thisnotionofindependenceandfreedomhasmodifiedtherelationofchildrentotheirparents。Insteadofchildrenbeingrequiredtoshowrespectandfilialobedience,theobligationofmutualloveandesteemiscultivated。Parentswouldnotthinkoforderingagirloraboytodoanything,howeverreasonable;inallmatterstheytreatthemastheirequalsandfriends;norwouldagirlsubmittoanarbitraryorderfromhermother,forshedoesnotregardherasasuperior,butasherfriendandcompanion。IfinditisacommonpracticeamongAmericangirlstoengagethemselvesinmarriagewithoutconsultingtheirparents。OnceIhadaserioustalkonthissubjectwithayoungcouplewhowerebetrothed。Iaskedthemiftheyhadtheconsentoftheirparents。Theybothansweredemphaticallythatitwasnotnecessary,andthatitwastheirbusinessandnottheirparents'。
  Itoldthemthatalthoughitwastheirbusiness,theymighthaveshownsomerespecttotheirparentsbyconsultingthembeforecommittingthemselvestothisimportanttransaction。Theyansweredthattheydidnotagreewithme,andasitconcernedtheirownhappinessalone,theyhadaperfectrighttodecidethematterforthemselves。ThisshowstheextremelimittowhichtheAmericanscarrytheirtheoryofindependence。UnlessIamgreatlymistaken,Ifearthisisatypicalandnotanisolatedcase。
  Ibelievethatinmanycases,aftertheyhadmadeuptheirmindstomarry,theyoungpeoplewouldinformtheirrespectiveparentsoftheirengagement,butIquestioniftheywouldsubordinatetheirownwishestothewilloftheirparents,orasktheirconsenttotheirengagement。
  NowletusseehowallthisismanagedinChina。Herethepartiesmostinterestedhavenovoiceinthematter。Theparents,throughtheirfriends,orsometimesthroughtheprofessionalmatch-makers,arrangethemarriage,butonlyafterthemoststrictanddiligentinquiriesastothecharacter,position,andsuitabilityoftemperanddispositionofthepersonsforwhomthemarriagecontractisbeingprepared。
  Thisissometimesdonewiththeknowledgeoftheinterestedparties,butveryoftentheyarenotconsulted。Afteranengagementisthusmadeitcannotbebrokenoff,notevenbytheyoungpeoplethemselves,eventhoughheorshemaypleadthatthearrangementwasmadewithouthisorherknowledgeorconsent。Theengagementisconsideredbyallpartiesasasolemncompact。Ontheweddingday,inninecasesoutoften,thebrideandbridegroommeeteachotherforthefirsttime,andyettheylivecontentedly,andquiteoftenevenhappilytogether。
  DivorcesinChinaareexceedinglyrare。Thisisaccountedforbythefactthatthroughthewisecontroloftheirparentsthechildrenareproperlymated。InsayingthisIdonotwishtobesupposedtobeadvocatingtheintroductionoftheChinesesystemintoAmerica。
  Iwould,however,pointoutthattheindependentandthoughtlesswayinwhichtheAmericanyoungpeopletakeonthemselvesthemarriagevowdoesnotasaruleresultinsuitablecompanionships。
  Whenagirlfallsinlovewithayoungmansheisunabletoperceivehisshortcomingsandvices,andwhen,afterlivingtogetherforafewmonths,shebeginstofindthemout,itisalastoolate。If,previoustoherengagement,shehadtakenhermotherintoherconfidence,andaskedhertousehergoodofficestofindoutthecharacteroftheyoungmanwhomshefavored,afatalandunhappymistakemighthavebeenavoided。Withoutinterfering,intheleast,withthelibertyorfreechoice,IshouldthinkitwouldbeagoodpolicyifallyoungAmericans,beforedefinitelycommittingthemselvestoapromiseofmarriage,wouldatleastconsulttheirmothers,andaskthemtomakeprivateandconfidentialinquiriesastothedisposition,aswellastothemoralandphysicalfitnessoftheyoungmanorladywhomtheycontemplatemarrying。Mothersarenaturallyconcernedaboutthewelfareandhappinessoftheiroffspring,andcouldbetrustedinmostcasestomakecareful,impartialandconscientiousinquiriesastowhetherthegirlormanwasreallyaworthyandsuitablelifepartnerfortheirchildren。Ifthisstepweregenerallytakenmanyanunfortunateunionwouldbeavoided。ItwasafterthisfashionthatIreasonedwiththeyoungpeoplementionedabove,buttheydidnotagreewithme,andIhadtoconcludethatloveisblind。
  BeforeleavingthissubjectIwouldaddthatthesystemofmarriagewhichhasbeeninvogueinChinaforsomanycenturieshasbeensomewhatchangedwithinthelastfewyears。Thisisduetothenewspiritwhichhasbeengraduallygrowing。Youngpeoplebegintoexerttheirrights,andwillnotallowparentstochoosetheirlifepartnerswithouttheirconsent。Instancesofgirlschoosingtheirownhusbandshavecometomyknowledge,andtheydidnotoccurduringleap-year。
  ButIsincerelyhopethatourChineseyouthwillnotgotothesamelengthsastheyoungpeopleofAmerica。
  ThemannerinwhichasontreatshisparentsintheUnitedStatesisdiametricallyopposedtoourChinesedoctrine,handeddowntousfromtimeimmemorial。"Honorthyfatherandthymother"
  isaninjunctionofMoseswhichallChristiansprofesstoobserve,butwhich,orsoitappearstoaConfucianist,allequallyforget。
  TheConfuciancreedlaysitdownastheessentialdutyofchildrenthattheyshallnotonlyhonorandobeytheirfathersandtheirmothers,butthattheyareindutyboundtosupportthem。Thereasonisthatastheirparentsbroughtthemintotheworld,rearedandeducatedthem,thechildrenshouldmakethemsomereturnfortheirtroubleandcare。
  TheviewofthisquestionwhichistakeninAmericaseemstobeverystrangetome。OnceIheardayoungAmericanargueinthisway。
  Hesaid,gravelyandseriously,thatashewasbroughtintothisworldbyhisparentswithouthisconsent,itwastheirdutytorearhiminaproperway,butthatitwasnopartofhisdutytosupportthem。
  Iwasverymuchastoundedatthisstatement。InChinasuchasonwouldbedespised,andifheneglectedtomaintainhisparentshewouldbepunished。IdonotbelievethattheextremeviewsofthisyoungmanareuniversallyacceptedinAmerica,butIaminclinedtothinkthatthedutiesofchildrentowardtheirparentsaresomewhatill-defined。
  Americanparentsdonotapparentlyexpecttheirchildrentosupportthem,because,asaruletheyare,ifnotrich,atleastincomfortablecircumstances;andeveniftheyarenot,theywouldratherworkfortheirlivelihoodthanburdentheirchildrenandhindertheirsuccessbyrelyingonthemforpecuniaryaid。Itmayhaveescapedmyobservation,but,sofarasIknow,itisnotthecustomforyoungpeopletoprovidefortheirparents。Therewas,however,oneexceptionalcasewhichcametomyknowledge。SomeyearsagoayoungSenatorinWashington,whowasfamousforhiseloquence,hadhisfatherlivingwithhim。
  Hisfatherwaseightyyearsofage,andthoughinrobusthealthwasacripple,andsohadtodependonhimforsupport。Iwasinformedthatheandhiswifewereverykindtohim。Manyyoungmentreattheirparentskindlyandaffectionately,buttheydoitmoreasafavorthanasaduty;
  infact,asbetweenequals。
  InconnectionwiththissubjectImaymentionthatassoonasasonmarries,howeveryoungandinexperiencedhemaybe,heleaveshisparents'roof。
  Heandhisbridewillsetupaseparateestablishmentsothattheycandoastheypleasewithoutthesupervisionoftheirparents。
  Thelatterdonotobject,asitgivestheyoungfolkanopportunitytogainexperienceinkeepinghouse。Youngwiveshaveahorrorofhavingtheirmothers-in-lawresidewiththem;ifitbenecessarytohaveanelderlyladyasacompaniontheyalwaysendeavortogettheirownmothers。
  Americanwomenareambitiousandversatile,andcanreadilyapplythemselvestoanytaskwithease。Theyarenotonlyemployedinstoresandmercantilehousesbutareengagedindifferentprofessions。
  ThereisscarcelyanystoreinAmericawheretherearenotsomewomenemployedastypists,clerks,oraccountants。Iamtoldthattheyaremoresteadythanmen。Eveninthelearnedprofessionstheysuccessfullycompetewiththemen。SomeyearsagotheAttorney-Generalshipofoneofthestatesbecamevacant。Twocandidatesappeared;
  onewasagentlemanandtheotherayoungladylawyer。
  Theybothsoughtelection;thegentlemansecuredasmallmajority,butintheendtheladylawyerconquered,forshesoonbecamethewifeoftheAttorney-General,herformeropponentduringtheelectioncampaign,andafterhermarriageshepracticallycarriedontheworkofherhusband。
  Someyearslaterherhusbandretiredfrompracticeinordertofarm,andshecontinuedtocarryonthelawpractice。DoesnotthisindicatethattheintellectoftheAmericanwomanisequal,ifnotsuperior,tothatofthemen?Americanwomenaregoodconversationalists,andmanyofthemareeloquentandendowedwith"thegiftofthegab"。
  OneofthecleverestandwittiestspeechesIhaveeverheardwasfromawomanwhospokeatapublicmeetingonapublicquestion。
  Theyarealsogoodwriters。SuchwomenasMrs。EllaWheelerWilcox,Mrs。MaryN。FooteHenderson,Mrs。ElizabethTowneandmanyothers,areagreatcredittotheirsex。Thewritingsofsuchwomenshowtheirprofoundinsightandwideculture。Naturallysuchwomencannotbeexpectedtoplaysecondfiddle。Theyexercisegreatinfluence,andwhenmarried"theyruletheroost"。Itshouldbementionedthattheirhusbandssubmitwillinglytotheirtactfulrule,andgladlyobeytheircommandswithoutfeelingthattheyareservants。
  IwouldadviseanymarriedwomanwhocomplainsofherhusbandbeingunrulyandunpleasanttotakealessonfromtheladiesofAmerica。
  Theyarevivacious,bright,loquaciousandlessreservedthanEuropeanladies。
  Insocialfunctionstheycanbeeasilyrecognized。If,however,anAmericanladymarriesaforeignerandlivesabroad,shesoonloseshernationalcharacteristics。OnceonboardasteamerIhadanAmericanladyasafellowpassenger;fromherreservedmannerImistookherforanEnglishlady,anditwasonlyaftersomedaysthatIdiscoveredshewasborninAmerica,butthatshehadbeenlivinginEnglandformanyyearswithherEnglishhusband。
  ThereisonefaultIfindwithAmericanwomen,ifitcanbesocalled,andthatistheirinquisitiveness;Iknowthatthisisacommonfaultwithallwomen,butitismostconspicuousintheAmericans。
  Theyhavetheknackoffindingoutthingswithoutyourbeingawareofit,andiftheyshouldwanttoknowyourhistorytheywilllearnallaboutitafterafewminutes'conversation。Theyaregooddetectives,andIthinktheyshouldbeemployedinthatlinemorethantheyare。
  Anation'sreputationdependsuponthegeneralcharacterofitswomen,fortheyformatleasthalf,ifnotmore,ofthepopulation。
  InthisrespectAmericastandshigh,fortheAmericanwomanislively,open-heartedandingenuous;sheisalsofearless,independent,andisalmostwithoutrestraint。Sheiseasilyaccessibletohighandlow,andfriendlytoall,butwoetothemanwhoshouldmisunderstandthepureandhighcharacterofanAmericangirl,andattempttotakelibertieswithher。Toastranger,andespeciallytoanOriental,sheisapuzzle。
  SomeyearsagoIhadtodisabuseafalsenotionofacountrymanofminerespectingalady'sbehaviortowardhim。ThekeenobserverwillfindthattheAmericangirl,havingbeeneducatedinschoolsandcollegeswithboys,naturallyactsmorefreelythanhersistersinothercountries,wheregreatrestraintisimposeduponthem。Heractionsmaybeconsideredasperilouslyneartotheborderofmasculinity,yetsheisasfarfromeithercoarsenessorlowthoughtsasistheNorthfromtheSouthPole。
  TheChineseladyisaspureasherAmericansister,butsheisbroughtupinadifferentway;herexclusionkeepsherindoors,andshehaspracticallynoopportunityofassociatingwithmalefriends。
  Abirdwhichhasbeenconfinedinacageforalongtime,will,whenthedoorisopened,flyfarawayandperhapsneverreturn,butifithasbeentamedandallowedtogoinandoutofitscageasitpleasesitwillnotgofar,butwillalwayscomebackintheevening。
  Whenmycountrywomenareallowedmorefreedomtheywillnotabuseit,butitwilltakesomelittletimetoeducatethemuptotheAmericanstandards。
  Chapter10。AmericanCostumesFashionistheworkofthedevil。Whenhemadeuphismindtoenslavemankindhefoundinfashionhismosteffectiveweapon。Fashionenthrallsman,itdepriveshimofhisfreedom;itisthemostautocraticdictator,itsmandatebeingobeyedbyallclasses,highandlow,withoutexception。
  Everyseasonitissuesnewdecrees,andnomatterhowludicroustheyare,everyonesubmitsforthwith。Thefashionsofthisseasonarechangedinthenext。Look,forexample,atwomen'shats;someyearsagothe"merrywidow"whichwasabouttwoorthreefeetindiameter,wasalltherage,andthelargeritbecamethemorefashionableitwas。
  Sometimesthewearercouldhardlygothroughadoorway。
  Thencamethehatcrownedwithbirds'feathers,someladiesevenplacingthecompletebirdontheirhats——amostridiculousexhibitionofbadtaste。
  TheSocietyforthePreventionofCrueltytoAnimalsshouldtakeupthequestionofthedestructionofbirdsfortheirplumage,andagitateuntilthelawmakesitillegaltowearabirdonahat。
  Somemaysaythatifpeoplekillanimalsandbirdsforfoodtheymightjustaswellwearadeadbirdontheirhats,iftheywishtobesosilly,althoughthelargemajorityofAmerica'spopulation,Iamsorrytofind,sincerelybelievemeattobeanecessaryarticleofdiet;
  yetwhowillclaimthatadeadbirdonahatisanindispensablearticleofwearingapparel?Whydowedressatall?First,Isuppose,forprotectionagainstcoldandheat;secondly,forcomfort;thirdly,fordecency;and,fourthly,forornament。NowdoesthedressofAmericansmeettheserequirements?
  First,asregardstheweather,doeswoman'sdressprotectherfromthecold?
  Thefactthatalargenumberofpersonsdailysufferfromcoldsarousesthesuspicionthattheirdressisatfault。Thebodyisneitherequallynorevenlycovered,theupperportionbeingasarulenearlybare,orverythinlyclad,sothattheslightestexposuretoadraught,orasuddenchangeoftemperature,subjectsthewearertotheunpleasantexperienceofcatchingcold,unlesssheissophysicallyrobustandhealthythatshecanresistallthedangerstowhichherclothing,orratherherlackofclothing,subjectsher。