Thechildtoohasnocompunctionincorrectingaparentevenbeforestrangers,andwhatisstrangerstilltheparentacceptsthecorrectioningoodpart,andsometimesevenwiththanks。Aparentisofteninterruptedinthecourseofanarrative,ordiscussion,byasmallpipingvoice,settingright,orwhatitbelievestoberight,somedate,place,orfact,andtheparent,afterawordofencouragementorthanks,proceeds。
Howdifferentisourrulethatachildisnottospeakuntilspokento!
InChineseofficiallifeundertheoldregimeitwasnotetiquetteforoneofficialtocontradictanother,especiallywhentheywereunequalinrank。Whenahighofficialexpressedviewswhichhissubordinatesdidnotendorse,theycouldnotcandidlygivetheiropinion,buthadtoremainsilent。IrememberthatsomeyearsagosomeofmycolleaguesandIhadanaudiencewithaveryhighofficial,andwhenIexpressedmydissentfromsomeoftheviewsofthathighfunctionary,herebukedmeseverely。
Afterwardhecalledmetohimprivately,andspoketomesomewhatasfollows:
"Whatyousaidjustnowwasquitecorrect。Iwaswrong,andIwilladoptyourviews,butyoumustnotcontradictmeinthepresenceofotherpeople。Donotdoitagain。"
Thereisofcoursemuchtobesaidforandagainsteachsystem,andperhapsablendofthetwowouldgivegoodresults。
Anyhow,wecantraceinAmericancustomsthatspiritofequalitywhichpervadesthewholeofAmericansociety,andobservethegermsofself-relianceandindependencesocharacteristicofAmericans,whethermen,women,orchildren。
EventhedomesticservantdoesnotlosethispreciousAmericanheritageofequality。Ihavenothingtosayagainstthatworthyindividual,theAmericanservantifonecanbefound;onthecontrary,noneismorefaithfulormoreefficient。Butinsomerespectsheisuniqueamongtheservantsoftheworld。Hedoesnotseethatthereisanyinequalitybetweenhimandhismaster。Hismaster,orshouldIsay,hisemployer,payshimcertainwagestodocertainwork,andhedoesit,butoutsidetheboundsofthiscontract,theyarestillmanandman,citizenandcitizen。Itisallbeautifully,delightfullylegal。
Thewasherwomanisthe"wash-lady",andisjustasmuchaladyashermistress。Theword"servant"isnotappliedtodomestics,"help"isusedinstead,verymuchinthesamewaythatCanadaandAustraliaarenolongerEnglish"colonies",but"self-governingdominions"。
Weoftheoldworldareaccustomedtoregarddomesticserviceasaprofessioninwhichthemembersworkforadvancement,withoutmuchthoughtofeverchangingtheirposition。
Afewcleverpersonsmayultimatelyadoptanotherprofession,and,accordingtoourantiquatedconservativewaysofthinking,risehigherinthesocialscale,but,forthelargemajority,thedignityofabutler,orahousekeeperistheheightofambition,thecrowningpointintheircareer。NotsotheAmericanservant。
StrictlyspeakingtherearenoservantsinAmerica。Theman,orthewomanasthecasemaybe,whohappensforthemomenttobeyourservant,isonlyservantforthetimebeing。Hehasnointentionofmakingdomesticservicehisprofession,ofbeingaservantforthewholeofhislife。Tohavetobesubjecttothewillofothers,eventothesmallextenttowhichAmericanservantsaresubordinate,isoffensivetoanAmerican'sprideofcitizenship,itiscontrarytohisconceptionofAmericanequality。Heisaservantonlyforthetime,anduntilhefindssomethingbettertodo。Heacceptsamenialpositiononlyasasteppingstonetosomemoreindependentemployment。
IsittobewonderedatthatAmericanservantshavedifferentmannersfromtheirbrethreninothercountries?WhenforeignersfindthatAmericanservantsarenotlikeservantsintheirowncountry,theyshouldnotresenttheirbehavior:itdoesnotdenotedisrespect,itisonlytheoutcropoftheirnaturalindependenceandaspirations。
AlltitlesofnobilityarebytheConstitutionexpresslyforbidden。
Eventitlesofhonororcourtesyarebutrarelyused。"Honorable"isusedtodesignatemembersofCongress;andforafewAmericans,suchasthePresidentandtheAmbassadors,thetitle"Excellency"ispermitted。Yet,whetheritisbecausethepersonsentitledtobesoaddresseddonotthinkthateventhesemildtitlesareconsistentwithAmericandemocracy,orbecausetheAmericanpublicfeelsawkwardinemployingsuchstiltedtermsofaddress,theyarenotoftenused。IrememberthatononeoccasionamuchrespectedChiefExecutive,onmyproposing,inaccordancewithdiplomaticusageandprecedent,toaddresshimas"YourExcellency",beggedmetosubstituteinstead"Mr。President"。Theplaindemocratic"Mr。"
suitsthedemocraticAmericantastemuchbetterthananyothertitle,andisappliedequallytothePresidentoftheRepublicandtohiscoachman。
IndeedtheplainnameJohnSmith,withouteven"Mr。",notonlygivesnooffense,wheresomehighertitlemightbeemployed,butfitsjustaswell,andisinfactoftenused。Evenprominentanddistinguishedmendonotresentnicknames;forexample,thecelebratedpersonwhosenameissointimatelyconnectedwiththatdelightofAmericanchildrenandgrown-ups——the"TeddyBear"。
Thischaracteristic,likesomanyotherAmericancharacteristics,isduenotonlytotheloveofequalityandindependence,butalsotothedislikeofanywasteoftime。
Incountrieswherethereareelaboraterulesofetiquetteconcerningtitlesandformsofaddress,nonebutaMasterofCeremoniescanhopetobethoroughlyfamiliarwiththem,ortobeabletoaddressthedistinguishedpeoplewithoutwithholdingfromthemtheirdueshareofhigh-soundingtitlesandepithets;
and,beitwhispered,thesesamedistinguishedpeople,howeverbroad-mindedandmagnanimoustheymaybeinotherrespects,aresometimesextremelysensitiveinthisrespect。
Andevenafteronehasmasteredalltherulesandforms,andcanappreciateanddistinguishthevariousniceshadeswhichexistbetween"HisSereneHighness","HisHighness","HisRoyalHighness",and"HisImperialHighness",orbetween"Rt。Rev。"and"MostRev。",onehasyettolearnwhattitlesaparticularpersonhas,andwithwhatparticularformofaddressheshouldbeapproached,animpossibletaskevenforaMasterofCeremonies,unlesshealwayshasinhispocketaBurke'sPeeragetotellhimwho'swho。
Whatawasteoftime,whataninconvenience,andwhatanunnecessaryamountofirritationandannoyanceallthiscauses。HowmuchbettertobeabletoaddressanypersonyoumeetsimplyasMr。So-and-So,withoutunwittinglytreadingonsomebody'ssensitivecorns!
Americanshaveshowntheircommonsenseindoingawaywithtitlesaltogether,anexamplewhichthesisterRepublicofChinaisfollowing。
Anillustriousnamelosesnothingforhavingtostandbyitselfwithoutprefixesandsuffixes,handlesandtails。Mr。GladstonewasnolesshimselffornotprefixinghisnamewithEarl,andtheothertitlestowhichitwouldhaveentitledhim,ashecouldhavedonehadhenotdeclinedtheso-calledhonor。
Indeed,likethe"GreatCommoner",he,ifthatwerepossible,endearedhimselfthemoretohiscountrymenbecauseofhisrefusal。Aname,whichisgreatwithoutresortingtotheborrowedlightoftitlesandhonors,isgreaterthananypossiblesuffixoraffixwhichcouldbeappendedtoit。
Inconclusion,AmericanmannersarebutaninstanceorresultofthetwopredominantAmericancharacteristicstowhichIhavealreadyreferred,andwhichreappearinsomanyotherthingsAmerican。
Aloveofindependenceandofequality,earlyinculcated,andakeenabhorrenceofwasteoftime,engenderedbytheconditionsandcircumstancesofanewcountry,servetoexplainpracticallyallthemannersandmannerismsofAmericans。Eventhefamiliarspectacleofmenwalkingwiththeirhandsdeepintheirtrousers'pockets,orsittingwiththeirlegscrossedneedsnootherexplanation,andtosuggestthat,becauseAmericanshavesomehabitswhicharepeculiarlytheirown,theyareeitherinferiororunmanly,wouldbetodothemagraveinjustice。
Fewpeoplearemorewarm-hearted,genial,andsociablethantheAmericans。
Idonotdwellonthis,becauseitisquiteunnecessary。Thefactisperfectlyfamiliartoallwhohavetheslightestknowledgeofthem。
Theirkindnessandwarmthtostrangersareparticularlypleasant,andaremuchappreciatedbytheirvisitors。Insomeothercountries,thepeople,thoughnotunsociable,surroundthemselveswithsomuchreservethatstrangersareatfirstchilledandrepulsed,althoughtherearenopleasanterormorehospitablepersonsanywheretobefoundwhenonceyouhavebrokentheice,andlearnedtoknowthem;
butitisthestrangerwhomustmakethefirstadvances,fortheythemselveswillmakenoefforttobecomeacquainted,andtheirmannerissuchastodiscourageanyeffortsonthepartofthevisitor。Youmaytravelwiththemforhoursinthesamecar,sitoppositetothem,andallthewhiletheywillshelterthemselvesbehindanewspaper,thebroadsheetsofwhicheffectivelyprohibitanyattemptsatcloseracquaintance。Thefollowinginstance,culledfromapersonalexperience,isanillustration。IwasalawstudentatLincoln'sInn,London,wherethereisasplendidlawlibraryfortheuseofthestudentsandmembersoftheInn。Iusedtogotherealmosteverydaytopursuemylegalstudies,andgenerallysatinthesamequietcorner。
Theseatontheoppositesideofthetablewasusuallyoccupiedbyanotherlawstudent。Formonthswesatoppositeeachotherwithoutexchangingaword。IthoughtIwastooformalandreserved,soIendeavoredtoimprovemattersbyoccasionallylookingupathimasifabouttoaddresshim,buteverytimeIdidsohelookeddownasthoughhedidnotwishtoseeme。FinallyIgaveuptheattempt。
ThisisthegeneralhabitwithEnglishgentlemen。Theywillnotspeaktoastrangerwithoutaproperintroduction;butinthecaseIhavementionedsurelytherulewouldhavebeenmorehonoredbyabreachthanbytheobservance。Seeingthatwewerefellowstudents,itmighthavebeenpresumedthatweweregentlemenandonanequalfooting。
HowdifferentarethemannersoftheAmerican!Youcanhardlytakeawalk,orgoforanydistanceinatrain,withoutbeingaddressedbyastranger,andnotinfrequentlymakingafriend。Insomecountriesthefactthatyouareaforeigneronlythickenstheice,inAmericaitthawsit。ThisdelightfultraitintheAmericancharacterisalsotraceabletothesamecauseasthatwhichhashelpedustoexplaintheotherpeculiaritieswhichhavebeenmentioned。TogoodAmericans,notonlyarethecitizensofAmericabornequal,butthecitizensoftheworldarealsobornequal。
Chapter9。AmericanWomenItisratherboldonmyparttotakeupthissubject。Itisapathwhere"foolsrushinwhereangelsfeartotread"。NomatterwhatIsayitissuretoprovokecriticism,buthavingfrequentlybeenaskedbymyladyfriendstogivemyopinionofAmericanwomen,andhavinggivenmysolemnpromisethatifIevershouldwritemyimpressionsofAmericaIwoulddoso,itwouldbeaserious"breachofpromise"ifIshouldnowbreakmyword。
Ingeneraltherearethreeclassesofwomen:first,thosewhowishtobepraised;secondly,thosewhowishtobeadverselycriticizedandcondemned;andthirdly,thosewhoaresimplycurioustohearwhatothersthinkofthem。Americanwomendonotasarulebelongtoeitherthefirstorthesecondclass,butalargemajorityofthemmayberangedunderclassthree。Theywishtoknowwhatotherpeoplehonestlythinkofthemandtoheartheircandidviews。
Theyareprogressivepeoplewhodesiretoimprovetheirdefectswhenevertheyarepointedouttothem。ThatbeingthecaseImustnotswervefrommydutyofsittinginahighcourtofjusticetopassjudgmentonthem。
Tobeginwith,theAmericanwomenareinsomerespectsdissimilartothewomenofothernations。Ifindthemsprightly,talkativeandwellinformed。
Theycanconverseonanysubjectwitheaseandresource,showingthattheyhaveagoodall-roundeducation。OftenhaveIderivedconsiderableinformationfromthem。Thepersistencewithwhichtheysticktotheiropinionsisremarkable。Once,whenIhadaladyvisitoratmyLegationinWashington,afterseveralmattershadbeendiscussedwecommencedtalkingaboutwomen'srights。Iwasinfavorofgivingwomenmorerightsthantheyareenjoying,butonsomepointsIdidnotgosofarasmyladyfriend;afterarguingwithmeforseveralhours,she,seeingthatIdidnotcoincidewithallherviews,threatenedthatshewouldnotleavemyhouseuntilIhadfullydigestedallherpoints,andhadbecomeconvertedtoherviews。
IhaveobservedthatmanyAmericanwomenmarryforeigners,butthatanAmericanrarelyhasaforeignwife。ItmaybesaidthatforeignersmarryAmericangirlsfortheirmoney,whileAmericanwomenmarrydistinguishedforeignersfortheirtitles。Thismayhavebeentrueinsomecases,butothercausesthansuchsordidmotivesmustbelookedfor。
ItistheattractivenessandthebeautyoftheAmericangirlswhichenablethemtocapturesomanyforeignhusbands。
Theirpleasantmannersandwinsomenaturepredisposeapersonintheirfavor,andwiththeirwell-groundededucationandreadyfundofknowledge,theyeasilywinanygentlemanwithmaritalpropensities。
HadIbeensinglewhenIfirstvisitedAmericaItoomighthavebeenavictim——nowonderthenthatAmericanmenpreferAmericanwives。
OnceIwasaninvoluntarymatch-maker。Someyearsago,duringmyfirstmissioninWashington,IwasinvitedtoattendtheweddingofthedaughteroftheChiefJusticeoftheSupremeCourt。
WhenIenteredthebreakfastroom,Isawthebridesmaidsandanumberofyoungmen。GoinguptooneofthebridesmaidswhomIhadpreviouslymet,andwhowasthedaughterofaSenator,Iaskedherwhenitwouldbeherturntobecomeabride。
Shemodestlysaidthatshedidnotknow,asshehadnotyethadanoffer。
Turningtothegroupofyoungmenwhowereintheroom,Ijocularlyremarkedtooneofthem,"Thisisabeautifullady,wouldyounotliketomarryher?"Hereplied,"Ishallbemostdelightedto。"
ThenIsaidtotheyounglady,"Willyouaccepthisoffer?"
Sheseemedslightlyembarrassedandsaidsomethingtotheeffectthatasshedidnotknowthegentlemanshecouldnotgiveadefiniteanswer。
AfterafewdaysImettheyoungladyatan"AtHome"partywhenshescoldedmeforbeingsobluntwithherbeforetheyoungmen。
ItoldherIwasactuatedbythebestofmotives,andafewmonthslaterIreceivedaninvitationfromtheyounglady'sparentsinvitingmetobepresentattheirdaughter'smarriage。
IthoughtIwouldgoandfindoutwhetherthebridegroomwastheyoungmanwhomIhadintroducedtotheyounglady,andassoonasIenteredthehouse,themotherofthebride,tomyagreeablesurprise,informedmethatitwasIwhohadfirstbroughttheyoungcoupletogether,andboththebrideandbridegroomheartilythankedmeformygoodoffices。
OneveryconspicuousfeatureinthecharacterofAmericanwomenistheirself-controlandindependence。Assoonasagirlgrowsupsheisallowedtodowhatshepleases,withoutthecontrolofherparents。
Itisacommonoccurrencetoseeayoungladytravellingalonewithouteitheracompanionorachaperon。TravellingononeoccasionfromSanFranciscotoWashingtonImetayoungladyonthetrainwhowasstillinherteens。ShetoldmethatshewasgoingtoNewYorktoembarkonasteamerforGermany,withtheintentionofenteringaGermancollege。Shewasundertakingthislongjourneyalone。
SuchanincidentwouldbeimpossibleinChina;eveninEngland,orindeedinanyEuropeancountry,Ihardlybelievethatarespectableyounggirlwouldbeallowedtotakesuchajourneywithoutsometrustyfriendtolookafterher。ButinAmericathisisacommonoccurrence,anditisacredittotheadministration,andspeaksvolumesforthegoodgovernmentofthecountry,thatforsensiblewide-awakeAmericangirlssuchundertakingsareperfectlysafe。
Thisnotionofindependenceandfreedomhasmodifiedtherelationofchildrentotheirparents。Insteadofchildrenbeingrequiredtoshowrespectandfilialobedience,theobligationofmutualloveandesteemiscultivated。Parentswouldnotthinkoforderingagirloraboytodoanything,howeverreasonable;inallmatterstheytreatthemastheirequalsandfriends;norwouldagirlsubmittoanarbitraryorderfromhermother,forshedoesnotregardherasasuperior,butasherfriendandcompanion。IfinditisacommonpracticeamongAmericangirlstoengagethemselvesinmarriagewithoutconsultingtheirparents。OnceIhadaserioustalkonthissubjectwithayoungcouplewhowerebetrothed。Iaskedthemiftheyhadtheconsentoftheirparents。Theybothansweredemphaticallythatitwasnotnecessary,andthatitwastheirbusinessandnottheirparents'。
Itoldthemthatalthoughitwastheirbusiness,theymighthaveshownsomerespecttotheirparentsbyconsultingthembeforecommittingthemselvestothisimportanttransaction。Theyansweredthattheydidnotagreewithme,andasitconcernedtheirownhappinessalone,theyhadaperfectrighttodecidethematterforthemselves。ThisshowstheextremelimittowhichtheAmericanscarrytheirtheoryofindependence。UnlessIamgreatlymistaken,Ifearthisisatypicalandnotanisolatedcase。
Ibelievethatinmanycases,aftertheyhadmadeuptheirmindstomarry,theyoungpeoplewouldinformtheirrespectiveparentsoftheirengagement,butIquestioniftheywouldsubordinatetheirownwishestothewilloftheirparents,orasktheirconsenttotheirengagement。
NowletusseehowallthisismanagedinChina。Herethepartiesmostinterestedhavenovoiceinthematter。Theparents,throughtheirfriends,orsometimesthroughtheprofessionalmatch-makers,arrangethemarriage,butonlyafterthemoststrictanddiligentinquiriesastothecharacter,position,andsuitabilityoftemperanddispositionofthepersonsforwhomthemarriagecontractisbeingprepared。
Thisissometimesdonewiththeknowledgeoftheinterestedparties,butveryoftentheyarenotconsulted。Afteranengagementisthusmadeitcannotbebrokenoff,notevenbytheyoungpeoplethemselves,eventhoughheorshemaypleadthatthearrangementwasmadewithouthisorherknowledgeorconsent。Theengagementisconsideredbyallpartiesasasolemncompact。Ontheweddingday,inninecasesoutoften,thebrideandbridegroommeeteachotherforthefirsttime,andyettheylivecontentedly,andquiteoftenevenhappilytogether。
DivorcesinChinaareexceedinglyrare。Thisisaccountedforbythefactthatthroughthewisecontroloftheirparentsthechildrenareproperlymated。InsayingthisIdonotwishtobesupposedtobeadvocatingtheintroductionoftheChinesesystemintoAmerica。
Iwould,however,pointoutthattheindependentandthoughtlesswayinwhichtheAmericanyoungpeopletakeonthemselvesthemarriagevowdoesnotasaruleresultinsuitablecompanionships。
Whenagirlfallsinlovewithayoungmansheisunabletoperceivehisshortcomingsandvices,andwhen,afterlivingtogetherforafewmonths,shebeginstofindthemout,itisalastoolate。If,previoustoherengagement,shehadtakenhermotherintoherconfidence,andaskedhertousehergoodofficestofindoutthecharacteroftheyoungmanwhomshefavored,afatalandunhappymistakemighthavebeenavoided。Withoutinterfering,intheleast,withthelibertyorfreechoice,IshouldthinkitwouldbeagoodpolicyifallyoungAmericans,beforedefinitelycommittingthemselvestoapromiseofmarriage,wouldatleastconsulttheirmothers,andaskthemtomakeprivateandconfidentialinquiriesastothedisposition,aswellastothemoralandphysicalfitnessoftheyoungmanorladywhomtheycontemplatemarrying。Mothersarenaturallyconcernedaboutthewelfareandhappinessoftheiroffspring,andcouldbetrustedinmostcasestomakecareful,impartialandconscientiousinquiriesastowhetherthegirlormanwasreallyaworthyandsuitablelifepartnerfortheirchildren。Ifthisstepweregenerallytakenmanyanunfortunateunionwouldbeavoided。ItwasafterthisfashionthatIreasonedwiththeyoungpeoplementionedabove,buttheydidnotagreewithme,andIhadtoconcludethatloveisblind。
BeforeleavingthissubjectIwouldaddthatthesystemofmarriagewhichhasbeeninvogueinChinaforsomanycenturieshasbeensomewhatchangedwithinthelastfewyears。Thisisduetothenewspiritwhichhasbeengraduallygrowing。Youngpeoplebegintoexerttheirrights,andwillnotallowparentstochoosetheirlifepartnerswithouttheirconsent。Instancesofgirlschoosingtheirownhusbandshavecometomyknowledge,andtheydidnotoccurduringleap-year。
ButIsincerelyhopethatourChineseyouthwillnotgotothesamelengthsastheyoungpeopleofAmerica。
ThemannerinwhichasontreatshisparentsintheUnitedStatesisdiametricallyopposedtoourChinesedoctrine,handeddowntousfromtimeimmemorial。"Honorthyfatherandthymother"
isaninjunctionofMoseswhichallChristiansprofesstoobserve,butwhich,orsoitappearstoaConfucianist,allequallyforget。
TheConfuciancreedlaysitdownastheessentialdutyofchildrenthattheyshallnotonlyhonorandobeytheirfathersandtheirmothers,butthattheyareindutyboundtosupportthem。Thereasonisthatastheirparentsbroughtthemintotheworld,rearedandeducatedthem,thechildrenshouldmakethemsomereturnfortheirtroubleandcare。
TheviewofthisquestionwhichistakeninAmericaseemstobeverystrangetome。OnceIheardayoungAmericanargueinthisway。
Hesaid,gravelyandseriously,thatashewasbroughtintothisworldbyhisparentswithouthisconsent,itwastheirdutytorearhiminaproperway,butthatitwasnopartofhisdutytosupportthem。
Iwasverymuchastoundedatthisstatement。InChinasuchasonwouldbedespised,andifheneglectedtomaintainhisparentshewouldbepunished。IdonotbelievethattheextremeviewsofthisyoungmanareuniversallyacceptedinAmerica,butIaminclinedtothinkthatthedutiesofchildrentowardtheirparentsaresomewhatill-defined。
Americanparentsdonotapparentlyexpecttheirchildrentosupportthem,because,asaruletheyare,ifnotrich,atleastincomfortablecircumstances;andeveniftheyarenot,theywouldratherworkfortheirlivelihoodthanburdentheirchildrenandhindertheirsuccessbyrelyingonthemforpecuniaryaid。Itmayhaveescapedmyobservation,but,sofarasIknow,itisnotthecustomforyoungpeopletoprovidefortheirparents。Therewas,however,oneexceptionalcasewhichcametomyknowledge。SomeyearsagoayoungSenatorinWashington,whowasfamousforhiseloquence,hadhisfatherlivingwithhim。
Hisfatherwaseightyyearsofage,andthoughinrobusthealthwasacripple,andsohadtodependonhimforsupport。Iwasinformedthatheandhiswifewereverykindtohim。Manyyoungmentreattheirparentskindlyandaffectionately,buttheydoitmoreasafavorthanasaduty;
infact,asbetweenequals。
InconnectionwiththissubjectImaymentionthatassoonasasonmarries,howeveryoungandinexperiencedhemaybe,heleaveshisparents'roof。
Heandhisbridewillsetupaseparateestablishmentsothattheycandoastheypleasewithoutthesupervisionoftheirparents。
Thelatterdonotobject,asitgivestheyoungfolkanopportunitytogainexperienceinkeepinghouse。Youngwiveshaveahorrorofhavingtheirmothers-in-lawresidewiththem;ifitbenecessarytohaveanelderlyladyasacompaniontheyalwaysendeavortogettheirownmothers。
Americanwomenareambitiousandversatile,andcanreadilyapplythemselvestoanytaskwithease。Theyarenotonlyemployedinstoresandmercantilehousesbutareengagedindifferentprofessions。
ThereisscarcelyanystoreinAmericawheretherearenotsomewomenemployedastypists,clerks,oraccountants。Iamtoldthattheyaremoresteadythanmen。Eveninthelearnedprofessionstheysuccessfullycompetewiththemen。SomeyearsagotheAttorney-Generalshipofoneofthestatesbecamevacant。Twocandidatesappeared;
onewasagentlemanandtheotherayoungladylawyer。
Theybothsoughtelection;thegentlemansecuredasmallmajority,butintheendtheladylawyerconquered,forshesoonbecamethewifeoftheAttorney-General,herformeropponentduringtheelectioncampaign,andafterhermarriageshepracticallycarriedontheworkofherhusband。
Someyearslaterherhusbandretiredfrompracticeinordertofarm,andshecontinuedtocarryonthelawpractice。DoesnotthisindicatethattheintellectoftheAmericanwomanisequal,ifnotsuperior,tothatofthemen?Americanwomenaregoodconversationalists,andmanyofthemareeloquentandendowedwith"thegiftofthegab"。
OneofthecleverestandwittiestspeechesIhaveeverheardwasfromawomanwhospokeatapublicmeetingonapublicquestion。
Theyarealsogoodwriters。SuchwomenasMrs。EllaWheelerWilcox,Mrs。MaryN。FooteHenderson,Mrs。ElizabethTowneandmanyothers,areagreatcredittotheirsex。Thewritingsofsuchwomenshowtheirprofoundinsightandwideculture。Naturallysuchwomencannotbeexpectedtoplaysecondfiddle。Theyexercisegreatinfluence,andwhenmarried"theyruletheroost"。Itshouldbementionedthattheirhusbandssubmitwillinglytotheirtactfulrule,andgladlyobeytheircommandswithoutfeelingthattheyareservants。
IwouldadviseanymarriedwomanwhocomplainsofherhusbandbeingunrulyandunpleasanttotakealessonfromtheladiesofAmerica。
Theyarevivacious,bright,loquaciousandlessreservedthanEuropeanladies。
Insocialfunctionstheycanbeeasilyrecognized。If,however,anAmericanladymarriesaforeignerandlivesabroad,shesoonloseshernationalcharacteristics。OnceonboardasteamerIhadanAmericanladyasafellowpassenger;fromherreservedmannerImistookherforanEnglishlady,anditwasonlyaftersomedaysthatIdiscoveredshewasborninAmerica,butthatshehadbeenlivinginEnglandformanyyearswithherEnglishhusband。
ThereisonefaultIfindwithAmericanwomen,ifitcanbesocalled,andthatistheirinquisitiveness;Iknowthatthisisacommonfaultwithallwomen,butitismostconspicuousintheAmericans。
Theyhavetheknackoffindingoutthingswithoutyourbeingawareofit,andiftheyshouldwanttoknowyourhistorytheywilllearnallaboutitafterafewminutes'conversation。Theyaregooddetectives,andIthinktheyshouldbeemployedinthatlinemorethantheyare。
Anation'sreputationdependsuponthegeneralcharacterofitswomen,fortheyformatleasthalf,ifnotmore,ofthepopulation。
InthisrespectAmericastandshigh,fortheAmericanwomanislively,open-heartedandingenuous;sheisalsofearless,independent,andisalmostwithoutrestraint。Sheiseasilyaccessibletohighandlow,andfriendlytoall,butwoetothemanwhoshouldmisunderstandthepureandhighcharacterofanAmericangirl,andattempttotakelibertieswithher。Toastranger,andespeciallytoanOriental,sheisapuzzle。
SomeyearsagoIhadtodisabuseafalsenotionofacountrymanofminerespectingalady'sbehaviortowardhim。ThekeenobserverwillfindthattheAmericangirl,havingbeeneducatedinschoolsandcollegeswithboys,naturallyactsmorefreelythanhersistersinothercountries,wheregreatrestraintisimposeduponthem。Heractionsmaybeconsideredasperilouslyneartotheborderofmasculinity,yetsheisasfarfromeithercoarsenessorlowthoughtsasistheNorthfromtheSouthPole。
TheChineseladyisaspureasherAmericansister,butsheisbroughtupinadifferentway;herexclusionkeepsherindoors,andshehaspracticallynoopportunityofassociatingwithmalefriends。
Abirdwhichhasbeenconfinedinacageforalongtime,will,whenthedoorisopened,flyfarawayandperhapsneverreturn,butifithasbeentamedandallowedtogoinandoutofitscageasitpleasesitwillnotgofar,butwillalwayscomebackintheevening。
Whenmycountrywomenareallowedmorefreedomtheywillnotabuseit,butitwilltakesomelittletimetoeducatethemuptotheAmericanstandards。
Chapter10。AmericanCostumesFashionistheworkofthedevil。Whenhemadeuphismindtoenslavemankindhefoundinfashionhismosteffectiveweapon。Fashionenthrallsman,itdepriveshimofhisfreedom;itisthemostautocraticdictator,itsmandatebeingobeyedbyallclasses,highandlow,withoutexception。
Everyseasonitissuesnewdecrees,andnomatterhowludicroustheyare,everyonesubmitsforthwith。Thefashionsofthisseasonarechangedinthenext。Look,forexample,atwomen'shats;someyearsagothe"merrywidow"whichwasabouttwoorthreefeetindiameter,wasalltherage,andthelargeritbecamethemorefashionableitwas。
Sometimesthewearercouldhardlygothroughadoorway。
Thencamethehatcrownedwithbirds'feathers,someladiesevenplacingthecompletebirdontheirhats——amostridiculousexhibitionofbadtaste。
TheSocietyforthePreventionofCrueltytoAnimalsshouldtakeupthequestionofthedestructionofbirdsfortheirplumage,andagitateuntilthelawmakesitillegaltowearabirdonahat。
Somemaysaythatifpeoplekillanimalsandbirdsforfoodtheymightjustaswellwearadeadbirdontheirhats,iftheywishtobesosilly,althoughthelargemajorityofAmerica'spopulation,Iamsorrytofind,sincerelybelievemeattobeanecessaryarticleofdiet;
yetwhowillclaimthatadeadbirdonahatisanindispensablearticleofwearingapparel?Whydowedressatall?First,Isuppose,forprotectionagainstcoldandheat;secondly,forcomfort;thirdly,fordecency;and,fourthly,forornament。NowdoesthedressofAmericansmeettheserequirements?
First,asregardstheweather,doeswoman'sdressprotectherfromthecold?
Thefactthatalargenumberofpersonsdailysufferfromcoldsarousesthesuspicionthattheirdressisatfault。Thebodyisneitherequallynorevenlycovered,theupperportionbeingasarulenearlybare,orverythinlyclad,sothattheslightestexposuretoadraught,orasuddenchangeoftemperature,subjectsthewearertotheunpleasantexperienceofcatchingcold,unlesssheissophysicallyrobustandhealthythatshecanresistallthedangerstowhichherclothing,orratherherlackofclothing,subjectsher。