"Goodweatherfortheapple-blossoms。"
　　"Youbeatus；butwhenyouplaywithMonsieurdeValoisyouneverdootherwise。"
　　"Howmuchdidhewin？"
　　"Well，to-night，threeorfourfrancs；heneverloses。"
　　"True；anddon'tyouknowtherearethreehundredandsixty-fivedaysayear？Atthatpricehisgainsarethevalueofafarm。"
　　"Ah!whathandswehadto-night!"
　　"Hereyouareathome，monsieurandmadame，howluckyyouare，whilewehavehalfthetowntocross!"
　　"Idon'tpityyou；youcouldaffordacarriage，anddispensewiththefatigueofgoingonfoot。"
　　"Ah，monsieur!wehaveadaughtertomarry，whichtakesoffonewheel，andthesupportofoursoninPariscarriesoffanother。"
　　"Youpersistinmakingamagistrateofhim？"
　　"Whatelsecanbedonewithayoungman？Besides，there'snoshameinservingtheking。"
　　Sometimesadiscussiononcidersandflax，alwayscouchedinthesameterms，andreturningatthesametimeofyear，wascontinuedonthehomewardway。Ifanyobserverofhumancustomshadlivedinthisstreet，hewouldhaveknownthemonthsandseasonsbysimplyoverhearingtheconversations。
　　Onthisoccasionitwasexclusivelyjocose；forduBousquier，whochancedtomarchaloneinfrontofthegroups，washummingthewell-
　　knownair，——littlethinkingofitsappropriateness，——"Tenderwoman!
　　hearthewarbleofthebirds，"etc。Tosome，duBousquierwasastrongmanandamisjudgedman。Eversincehehadbeenconfirmedinhispresentofficebyaroyaldecree，MonsieurduRoncerethadbeeninfavorofduBousquier。Toothersthepurveyorseemeddangerous，——amanofbadhabits，capableofanything。Intheprovinces，asinParis，menbeforethepubliceyearelikethatstatueinthefineallegoricaltaleofAddison，forwhichtwoknightsonarrivingnearitfought；foronesawitwhite，theothersawitblack。Then，whentheywerebothofftheirhorses，theysawitwaswhiteonesideandblacktheother。
　　Athirdknightcomingalongdeclareditred。
　　Whenthechevalierwenthomethatnight，hemademanyreflections，asfollows:——
　　"ItishightimenowtospreadarumorofmymarriagewithMademoiselleCormon。Itwillleakoutfromthed'Esgrignonsalon，andgostraighttothebishopatSeez，andsogetroundthroughthegrandvicarstothecurateofSaint-Leonard's，whowillbecertaintotellittotheAbbeCouturier；andMademoiselleCormonwillgettheshotinherupperworks。TheoldMarquisd'EsgrignonshallinvitetheAbbedeSpondetodinner，soastostopallgossipaboutMademoiselleCormonifIdecideagainsther，oraboutmeifsherefusesme。Theabbeshallbewellcajoled；andMademoiselleCormonwillcertainlynotholdoutagainstavisitfromMademoiselleArmande，whowillshowherthegrandeurandfuturechancesofsuchanalliance。Theabbe'spropertyisundoubtedlyasmuchasthreehundredthousand；herownsavingsmustamounttomorethantwohundredthousand；shehasherhouseandPrebaudetandfifteenthousandfrancsayear。AwordtomyfriendtheComtedeFontaine，andIshouldbemayorofAlenconto-morrow，anddeputy。Then，onceseatedontheRightbenches，weshallreachthepeerage，shouting，'Cloture!''Ordre!'"
　　AssoonasshereachedhomeMadameGransonhadalivelyargumentwithherson，whocouldnotbemadetoseetheconnectionwhichexistedbetweenhisloveandhispoliticalopinions。Itwasthefirstquarrelthathadevertroubledthatpoorhousehold。
　　CHAPTERVI
　　FINALDISAPPOINTMENTANDITSFIRSTRESULT
　　Thenextday，MademoiselleCormon，packedintotheoldcarriolewithJosette，andlookinglikeapyramidonavastseaofparcels，droveuptherueSaint-BlaiseonherwaytoPrebaudet，whereshewasovertakenbyaneventwhichhurriedonhermarriage，——anevententirelyunlookedforbyeitherMadameGranson，duBousquier，MonsieurdeValois，orMademoiselleCormonhimself。Chanceisthegreatestofallartificers。
　　ThedayafterherarrivalatPrebaudet，shewasinnocentlyemployed，abouteighto'clockinthemorning，inlistening，asshebreakfasted，tothevariousreportsofherkeeperandhergardener，whenJacquelinmadeaviolentirruptionintothedining-room。
　　"Mademoiselle，"hecried，outofbreath，"Monsieurl'abbesendsyouanexpress，thesonofMereGrosmort，withaletter。TheladleftAlenconbeforedaylight，andhehasjustarrived；heranlikePenelope!Can'tIgivehimaglassofwine？"
　　"Whatcanhavehappened，Josette？Doyouthinkmyunclecanbe——"
　　"Hecouldn'twriteifhewere，"saidJosette，guessinghermistress'sfears。
　　"Quick!quick!"criedMademoiselleCormon，assoonasshehadreadthefirstlines。"TellJacquelintoharnessPenelope——Getready，Josette；
　　packupeverythinginhalfanhour。Wemustgobacktotown——"
　　"Jacquelin!"calledJosette，excitedbythesentimentshesawonhermistress'sface。
　　Jacquelin，informedbyJosette，cameintosay，——
　　"But，mademoiselle，Penelopeiseatingheroats。"
　　"Whatdoesthatsignify？Imuststartatonce。"
　　"But，mademoiselle，itisgoingtorain。"
　　"Thenweshallgetwet。"
　　"Thehouseisonfire!"mutteredJosette，piquedatthesilencehermistresskeptastothecontentsoftheletter，whichshereadandreread。
　　"Finishyourcoffee，atanyrate，mademoiselle；don'texciteyourblood；justseehowredyouare。"
　　"AmIred，Josette？"shesaid，goingtoamirror，fromwhichthequicksilverwaspeeling，andwhichpresentedherfeaturestoherupsidedown。
　　"Goodheavens!"thoughtMademoiselleCormon，"supposeIshouldlookugly!Come，Josette；come，mydear，dressmeatonce；IwanttobereadybeforeJacquelinhasharnessedPenelope。Ifyoucan'tpackmythingsintime，Iwillleavethemhereratherthanloseasingleminute。"
　　IfyouhavethoroughlycomprehendedthepositivemonomaniatowhichthedesireofmarriagehadbroughtMademoiselleCormon，youwillshareheremotion。TheworthyuncleannouncedinthissuddenmissivethatMonsieurdeTroisville，oftheRussianarmyduringtheEmigration，grandsonofoneofhisbestfriends，wasdesirousofretiringtoAlencon，andaskedhis，theabbe'shospitality，onthegroundofhisfriendshipforhisgrandfather，theVicomtedeTroisville。
　　Theoldabbe，alarmedattheresponsibility，entreatedhisniecetoreturninstantlyandhelphimtoreceivethisguest，anddothehonorsofthehouse；fortheviscount'sletterhadbeendelayed，andhemightdescenduponhisshouldersthatverynight。
　　AfterreadingthismissivecouldtherebeaquestionofthedemandsofPrebaudet？Thekeeperandthegardener，witnessestoMademoiselleCormon'sexcitement，stoodasideandawaitedherorders。Butwhen，asshewasabouttoleavetheroom，theystoppedhertoaskforinstructions，forthefirsttimeinherlifethedespoticoldmaid，whosawtoeverythingatPrebaudetwithherowneyes，said，totheirstupefaction，"Dowhatyoulike。"Thisfromamistresswhocarriedheradministrationtothepointofcountingherfruits，andmarkingthemsoastoordertheirconsumptionaccordingtothenumberandconditionofeach!
　　"IbelieveI'mdreaming，"thoughtJosette，asshesawhermistressflyingdownthestaircaselikeanelephanttowhichGodhasgivenwings。
　　Presently，inspiteofadrivingrain，MademoiselleCormondroveawayfromPrebaudet，leavingherfactotumswiththereinsontheirnecks。
　　JacquelindarednottakeuponhimselftohastentheusuallittletrotofthepeaceablePenelope，who，likethebeautifulqueenwhosenameshebore，hadanappearanceofmakingasmanystepsbackwardasshemadeforward。Impatientwiththepace，mademoiselleorderedJacquelininasharpvoicetodriveatagallop，withthewhip，ifnecessary，tothegreatastonishmentofthepoorbeast，soafraidwassheofnothavingtimetoarrangethehousesuitablytoreceiveMonsieurdeTroisville。Shecalculatedthatthegrandsonofheruncle'sfriendwasprobablyaboutfortyyearsofage；asoldierjustfromservicewasundoubtedlyabachelor；andsheresolved，heruncleaiding，nottoletMonsieurdeTroisvillequittheirhouseintheconditionheenteredit。ThoughPenelopegalloped，MademoiselleCormon，absorbedinthoughtsofhertrousseauandthewedding-day，declaredagainandagainthat
　　Jacquelinmadenowayatall。ShetwistedaboutinthecarriolewithoutreplyingtoJosette'squestions，andtalkedtoherselflikeapersonwhoismentallyrevolvingimportantdesigns。
　　ThecarrioleatlastarrivedinthemainstreetofAlencon，calledtherueSaint-BlaiseattheendtowardMontagne，butnearthehotelduMoreittakesthenameoftheruedelaPorte-de-Seez，andbecomestherueduBercailasitenterstheroadtoBrittany。IfthedepartureofMademoiselleCormonmadeagreatnoiseinAlencon，itiseasytoimaginetheuproarcausedbyhersuddenreturnonthefollowingday，inapouringrainwhichbeatherfacewithoutherapparentlymindingit。Penelopeatafullgallopwasobservedbyeveryone，andJacquelin'sgrin，theearlyhour，theparcelsstuffedintothecarrioletopsy-turvy，andtheevidentimpatienceofMademoiselleCormonwereallnoted。
　　ThepropertyofthehouseofTroisvillelaybetweenAlenconandMortagne。Josetteknewthevariousbranchesofthefamily。AworddroppedbymademoiselleastheyenteredAlenconhadputJosetteonthescentoftheaffair；andadiscussionhavingstartedbetweenthem，itwassettledthattheexpecteddeTroisvillemustbebetweenfortyandforty-twoyearsofage，abachelor，andneitherrichnorpoor。
　　MademoiselleCormonbeheldherselfspeedilyVicomtessedeTroisville。
　　"Andtothinkthatmyuncletoldmenothing!thinksofnothing!
　　inquiresnothing!That'smyuncleallover。He'dforgethisownnoseifitwasn'tfastenedtohisface。"
　　Haveyouneverremarkedthat，undercircumstancessuchasthese，oldmaidsbecome，likeRichardIII。，keen-witted，fierce，bold，promissory，——ifonemaysousetheword，——and，likeinebriateclerks，nolongerinaweofanything？
　　ImmediatelythetownofAlencon，speedilyinformedfromthefartherendoftheruedeSaint-BlaisetothegateofSeezofthisprecipitatereturn，accompaniedbysingularcircumstances，wasperturbedthroughoutitsviscera，bothpublicanddomestic。Cooks，shopkeepers，streetpassengers，toldthenewsfromdoortodoor；thenceitrosetotheupperregions。Soonthewords:"MademoiselleCormonhasreturned!"
　　burstlikeabombshellintoallhouseholds。AtthatmomentJacquelinwasdescendingfromhiswoodenseatpolishedbyaprocessunknowntocabinet-makers，onwhichheperchedinfrontofthecarriole。Heopenedthegreatgreengate，roundatthetop，andclosedinsignofmourning；forduringMademoiselleCormon'sabsencetheeveningassembliesdidnottakeplace。ThefaithfulinvitedtheAbbedeSpondetotheirseveralhouses；andMonsieurdeValoispaidhisdebtbyinvitinghimtodineattheMarquisd'Esgrignon's。Jacquelin，havingopenedthegate，calledfamiliarlytoPenelope，whomhehadleftinthemiddleofthestreet。Thatanimal，accustomedtothisproceeding，turnedinofherself，andcircledroundthecourtyardinamannertoavoidinjuringtheflower-bed。Jacquelinthentookherbridle，andledthecarriagetotheportico。
　　"Mariette!"criedMademoiselleCormon。
　　"Mademoiselle!"exclaimedMariette，whowasoccupiedinclosingthegate。
　　"Hasthegentlemanarrived？"
　　"No，mademoiselle。"
　　"Where'smyuncle？"
　　"Heisatchurch，mademoiselle。"
　　JacquelinandJosettewerebythistimeonthefirststepoftheportico，holdingouttheirhandstomanoeuvretheexitoftheirmistressfromthecarrioleasshepulledherselfupbythesidesofthevehicleandclungtothecurtains。Mademoisellethenthrewherselfintotheirarms；becauseforthelasttwoyearsshedarednotriskherweightontheironstep，affixedtotheframeofthecarriagebyahorriblemechanismofclumsybolts。
　　WhenMademoiselleCormonreachedtheleveloftheporticoshelookedabouthercourtyardwithanairofsatisfaction。
　　"Come，come，Mariette，leavethatgatealone；Iwantyou。"
　　"There'ssomethinginthewind，"whisperedJacquelin，asMariettepassedthecarriole。
　　"Mariette，whatprovisionshaveyouinthehouse？"askedMademoiselleCormon，sittingdownonthebenchinthelongantechamberlikeapersonovercomewithfatigue。
　　"Ihaven'tanything，"repliedMariette，withherhandsonherhips。
　　"MademoiselleknowsverywellthatduringherabsenceMonsieurl'abbedinesouteveryday。YesterdayIwenttofetchhimfromMademoiselleArmande's。"
　　"Whereishenow？"
　　"Monsieurl'abbe？Why，atchurch；hewon'tbeinbeforethreeo'clock。"
　　"Hethinksofnothing!heoughttohavetoldyoutogotomarket。
　　Mariette，goatonce；andwithoutwastingmoney，don'tspareit；getallthereisthatisgoodanddelicate。Gotothediligenceofficeandseeifyoucansendforpates；andIwantshrimpsfromtheBrillante。
　　Whato'clockisit？"
　　"Aquartertonine。"
　　"Goodheavens!Mariette，don'tstoptochatter。Thepersonmyuncleexpectsmayarriveatanymoment。Ifwehadtogivehimbreakfast，whereshouldwebewithnothinginthehouse？"
　　MarietteturnedbacktoPenelopeinalather，andlookedatJacquelinasifshewouldsay，"MademoisellehasputherhandonahusbandTHIS
　　time。"
　　"Now，Josette，"continuedtheoldmaid，"letusseewherewehadbetterputMonsieurdeTroisvilletosleep。"
　　Withwhatjoyshesaidthewords，"PutMonsieurdeTroisville"
　　pronouncedTreville"tosleep。"Howmanyideasinthosefewwords!
　　Theoldmaidwasbathedinhope。
　　"Willyouputhiminthegreenchamber？"
　　"Thebishop'sroom？No；that'stoonearmine，"saidMademoiselleCormon。"Allverywellformonseigneur；he'sasaintlyman。"
　　"Givehimyouruncle'sroom。"
　　"Oh，that'ssobare；itisactuallyindecent。"
　　"Well，then，mademoiselle，whynotarrangeabedinyourboudoir？Itiseasilydone；andthere'safire-place。Moreaucancertainlyfindinhiswareroomsabedtomatchthehangings。"
　　"Youareright，Josette。GoyourselftoMoreau；consultwithhimwhattodo；Iauthorizeyoutogetwhatiswanted。Ifthebedcouldbeputupto-nightwithoutMonsieurdeTroisvilleobservingitincaseMonsieurdeTroisvillearriveswhileMoreauishere，Ishouldlikeit。IfMoreauwon'tengagetodothis，thenImustputMonsieurdeTroisvilleinthegreenroom，althoughMonsieurdeTroisvillewouldbesoveryneartome。"
　　Josettewasdepartingwhenhermistressrecalledher。
　　"Stop!explainthemattertoJacquelin，"shecried，inaloudnervoustone。"TellHIMtogotoMoreau；Imustbedressed!FancyifMonsieurdeTroisvillesurprisedmeasIamnow!andmyunclenotheretoreceivehim!Oh，uncle，uncle!Come，Josette；comeanddressmeatonce。"
　　"ButPenelope？"saidJosette，imprudently。
　　"AlwaysPenelope!Penelopethis，Penelopethat!IsPenelopethemistressofthishouse？"
　　"Butsheisallofalather，andshehasn'thadtimetoeatheroats。"
　　"Thenletherstarve!"criedMademoiselleCormon；"providedImarry，"
　　shethoughttoherself。
　　Hearingthesewords，whichseemedtoherlikehomicide，Josettestoodstillforamoment，speechless。Then，atagesturefromhermistress，sheranheadlongdownthestepsoftheportico。
　　"Thedevilisinher，Jacquelin，"werethefirstwordssheuttered。
　　ThusallthingsconspiredonthisfatefuldaytoproducethegreatsceniceffectwhichdecidedthefuturelifeofMademoiselleCormon。
　　Thetownwasalreadytopsy-turvyinmind，asaconsequenceofthefiveextraordinarycircumstanceswhichaccompaniedMademoiselleCormon'sreturn；towit，thepouringrain；Penelopeatagallop，inalather，andblown；theearlyhour；theparcelshalf-packed；andthesingularairoftheexcitedoldmaid。ButwhenMariettemadeaninvasionofthemarket，andboughtallthebestthings；whenJacquelinwenttotheprincipalupholstererinAlencon，twodoorsfromthechurch，insearchofabed，——therewasmatterforthegravestconjectures。Theseextraordinaryeventswerediscussedonallsides；theyoccupiedthemindsofeveryone，evenMademoiselleArmandeherself，withwhomwasMonsieurdeValois。WithintwodaysthetownofAlenconhadbeenagitatedbysuchstartlingeventsthatcertaingoodwomenwereheardtoremarkthattheworldwascomingtoanend。Thislastnews，however，resolveditselfintoasinglequestion，"WhatishappeningattheCormons？"
　　TheAbbedeSponde，adroitlyquestionedwhenheleftSaint-Leonard'stotakehisdailywalkwiththeAbbeCouturier，repliedwithhisusualkindlinessthatheexpectedtheVicomtedeTroisville，anoblemanintheserviceofRussiaduringtheEmigration，whowasreturningtoAlencontosettlethere。Fromtwotofiveo'clockaspeciesoflabialtelegraphywentonthroughoutthetown；andalltheinhabitantslearnedthatMademoiselleCormonhadatlastfoundahusbandbyletter，andwasabouttomarrytheVicomtedeTroisville。Somesaid，"Moreauhassoldthemabed。"Thebedwassixfeetwideinthatquarter；itwasfourfeetwideatMadameGranson's，intherueduBercail；butitwasreducedtoasimplecouchatMonsieurduRonceret's，whereduBousquierwasdining。Thelesserbourgeoisiedeclaredthatthecostwaselevenhundredfrancs。Butgenerallyitwasthoughtthat，astothis，rumorwascountingthechickensbeforetheywerehatched。InotherquartersitwassaidthatMariettehadmadesucharaidonthemarketthatthepriceofcarphadrisen。AttheendoftherueSaint-Blaise，Penelopehaddroppeddead。Thisdeceasewasdoubtedinthehouseofthereceiver-general；butatthePrefectureitwasauthenticatedthatthepoorbeasthadexpiredassheturnedintothecourtyardofthehotelCormon，withsuchvelocityhadtheoldmaidflowntomeetherhusband。Theharness-maker，wholivedatthecorneroftheruedeSeez，wasboldenoughtocallatthehouseandaskifanythinghadhappenedtoMademoiselleCormon'scarriage，inordertodiscoverwhetherPenelopewasreallydead。FromtheendoftherueSaint-BlaisetotheendoftherueduBercail，itwasthenmadeknownthat，thankstoJacquelin'sdevotion，Penelope，thatsilentvictimofhermistress'simpetuosity，stilllived，thoughsheseemedtobesuffering。
　　AlongtheroadtoBrittanytheVicomtedeTroisvillewasstatedtobeayoungersonwithoutapenny，fortheestatesinPerchebelongedtotheMarquisdeTroisville，peerofFrance，whohadchildren；themarriagewouldbe，therefore，anenormouspieceofluckforapooremigre。Thearistocracyalongthatroadapprovedofthemarriage；
　　MademoiselleCormoncouldnotdobetterwithhermoney。ButamongtheBourgeoisie，theVicomtedeTroisvillewasaRussiangeneralwhohadfoughtagainstFrance，andwasnowreturningwithagreatfortunemadeatthecourtofSaint-Petersburg；hewasaFOREIGNER；oneofthoseALLIESsohatedbytheliberals；theAbbedeSpondehadslylynegotiatedthismarriage。AllthepersonswhohadarighttocalluponMademoiselleCormondeterminedtodosothatveryevening。
　　Duringthistransurbanexcitement，whichmadethatofSuzannealmostaforgottenaffair，Mademoisellewasnotlessagitated；shewasfilledwithavarietyofnovelemotions。Lookingabouthersalon，dining-
　　room，andboudoir，cruelapprehensionstookpossessionofher。A
　　speciesofdemonshowedherwithasneerherold-fashionedluxury。Thehandsomethingsshehadadmiredfromheryouthupshesuddenlysuspectedofageandabsurdity。Inshort，shefeltthatfearwhichtakespossessionofnearlyallauthorswhentheyreadoveraworktheyhavehithertothoughtproofagainsteveryexactingorblasecritic: