"Mywifehadremainedhereduringmyabsence,inanxiousexpectationofmyreturnwithsometidingsofhersister。Ihadnonetocommunicate。Foratime,Iwasbreathlesswithmyspeed:This,andthetremorsthatshookmyframe,andthewildnessofmylooks,alarmedher。Sheimmediatelysuspectedsomedisastertohavehappenedtoherfriend,andherownspeechwasasmuchoverpoweredbyemotionasmine。
"Shewassilent,butherlooksmanifestedherimpatiencetohearwhatIhadtocommunicate。Ispoke,butwithsomuchprecipitationasscarcelytobeunderstood;catchingher,atthesametime,bythearm,andforciblypullingherfromherseat。
"Comealongwithme:fly:wastenotamoment:timewillbelost,andthedeedwillbeomitted。Tarrynot;questionnot;
butflywithme!
"Thisdeportmentaddedafreshtoheralarms。Hereyespursuedmine,andshesaid,"Whatisthematter?ForGod'ssakewhatisthematter?Wherewouldyouhavemego?"
"Myeyeswerefixeduponhercountenancewhileshespoke。I
thoughtuponhervirtues;Iviewedherasthemotherofmybabes:asmywife:IrecalledthepurposeforwhichIthusurgedherattendance。Myheartfaltered,andIsawthatImustrousetothisworkallmyfaculties。Thedangeroftheleastdelaywasimminent。
"Ilookedawayfromher,andagainexertingmyforce,drewhertowardsthedoor——'Youmustgowithme——indeedyoumust。'
"Inherfrightshehalf-resistedmyefforts,andagainexclaimed,'Goodheaven!whatisityoumean?Wherego?Whathashappened?HaveyoufoundClara?"
"Followme,andyouwillsee,"Ianswered,stillurgingherreluctantstepsforward。
"Whatphrenzyhasseizedyou?Somethingmustneedshavehappened。Isshesick?Haveyoufoundher?"
"Comeandsee。Followme,andknowforyourself。"
"Stillsheexpostulatedandbesoughtmetoexplainthismysteriousbehaviour。Icouldnottrustmyselftoanswerher;
tolookather;butgraspingherarm,Idrewherafterme。Shehesitated,ratherthroughconfusionofmindthanfromunwillingnesstoaccompanyme。Thisconfusiongraduallyabated,andshemovedforward,butwithirresolutefootsteps,andcontinualexclamationsofwonderandterror。HerinterrogationsOf"whatwasthematter?"and"whitherwasIgoing?"wereceaselessandvehement。
"Itwasthescopeofmyeffortsnottothink;tokeepupaconflictanduproarinmymindinwhichallorderanddistinctnessshouldbelost;toescapefromthesensationsproducedbyhervoice。Iwas,therefore,silent。Istrovetoabridgethisintervalbymyhaste,andtowasteallmyattentioninfuriousgesticulations。
"Inthisstateofmindwereachedmysister'sdoor。Shelookedatthewindowsandsawthatallwasdesolate——"Whycomewehere?Thereisnobodyhere。Iwillnotgoin。"
"StillIwasdumb;butopeningthedoor,Idrewherintotheentry。Thiswastheallottedscene:hereshewastofall。I
letgoherhand,andpressingmypalmsagainstmyforehead,madeonemightyefforttoworkupmysoultothedeed。
"Invain;itwouldnotbe;mycouragewasappalled;myarmsnerveless:Imutteredprayersthatmystrengthmightbeaidedfromabove。Theyavailednothing。
"Horrordiffuseditselfoverme。Thisconvictionofmycowardice,myrebellion,fasteneduponme,andIstoodrigidandcoldasmarble。FromthisstateIwassomewhatrelievedbymywife'svoice,whorenewedhersupplicationstobetoldwhywecamehither,andwhatwasthefateofmysister。
"WhatcouldIanswer?Mywordswerebrokenandinarticulate。
Herfearsnaturallyacquiredforcefromtheobservationofthesesymptoms;butthesefearsweremisplaced。Theonlyinferenceshededucedfrommyconductwas,thatsometerriblemishaphadbefallenClara。
"Shewrungherhands,andexclaimedinanagony,"Otellme,whereisshe?Whathasbecomeofher?Isshesick?Dead?Issheinherchamber?Oletmegothitherandknowtheworst!"
"Thisproposalsetmythoughtsoncemoreinmotion。Perhapswhatmyrebelliousheartrefusedtoperformhere,Imightobtainstrengthenoughtoexecuteelsewhere。
"Comethen,"saidI,"letusgo。"
"Iwill,butnotinthedark。Wemustfirstprocurealight。"
"Flythenandprocureit;butIchargeyou,lingernot。I
willawaitforyourreturn。
"Whileshewasgone,Istrodealongtheentry。Thefellnessofagloomyhurricanebutfaintlyresembledthediscordthatreignedinmymind。Toomitthissacrificemustnotbe;yetmysinewshadrefusedtoperformit。Noalternativewasoffered。
Torebelagainstthemandatewasimpossible;butobediencewouldrendermetheexecutionerofmywife。Mywillwasstrong,butmylimbsrefusedtheiroffice。
"Shereturnedwithalight;Iledthewaytothechamber;shelookedroundher;sheliftedthecurtainofthebed;shesawnothing。
"Atlength,shefixedinquiringeyesuponme。Thelightnowenabledhertodiscoverinmyvisagewhatdarknesshadhithertoconcealed。Hercareswerenowtransferredfrommysistertomyself,andshesaidinatremulousvoice,"Wieland!youarenotwell:Whatailsyou?CanIdonothingforyou?"
"Thataccentsandlookssowinningshoulddisarmmeofmyresolution,wastobeexpected。Mythoughtswerethrownanewintoanarchy。IspreadmyhandbeforemyeyesthatImightnotseeher,andansweredonlybygroans。Shetookmyotherhandbetweenher's,andpressingittoherheart,spokewiththatvoicewhichhadeverswayedmywill,andwaftedawaysorrow。
"Myfriend!mysoul'sfriend!tellmethycauseofgrief。DoInotmerittopartakewiththeeinthycares?AmInotthywife?"
"Thiswastoomuch。Ibrokefromherembrace,andretiredtoacorneroftheroom。Inthispause,couragewasoncemoreinfusedintome。Iresolvedtoexecutemyduty。Shefollowedme,andrenewedherpassionateentreatiestoknowthecauseofmydistress。
"Iraisedmyheadandregardedherwithstedfastlooks。I
mutteredsomethingaboutdeath,andtheinjunctionsofmyduty。
Atthesewordssheshrunkback,andlookedatmewithanewexpressionofanguish。Afterapause,sheclaspedherhands,andexclaimed——
"OWieland!Wieland!GodgrantthatIammistaken;butsurelysomethingiswrong。Iseeit:itistooplain:thouartundone——losttomeandtothyself。"Atthesametimeshegazedonmyfeatureswithintensestanxiety,inhopethatdifferentsymptomswouldtakeplace。Irepliedtoherwithvehemence——
"Undone!No;mydutyisknown,andIthankmyGodthatmycowardiceisnowvanquished,andIhavepowertofulfilit。
Catharine!Ipitytheweaknessofthynature:Ipitythee,butmustnotspare。Thylifeisclaimedfrommyhands:thoumustdie!"
"Fearwasnowaddedtohergrief。'Whatmeanyou?Whytalkyouofdeath?Bethinkyourself,Wieland:bethinkyourself,andthisfitwillpass。OwhycameIhither!Whydidyoudragmehither?'
"Ibroughttheehithertofulfiladivinecommand。Iamappointedthydestroyer,anddestroytheeImust。"SayingthisIseizedherwrists。Sheshriekedaloud,andendeavouredtofreeherselffrommygrasp;buthereffortswerevain。
"Surely,surelyWieland,thoudostnotmeanit。AmInotthywife?andwouldstthoukillme?Thouwiltnot;andyet——I
see——thouartWielandnolonger!Afuryresistlessandhorriblepossessesthee——Spareme——spare——help——help——"
"Tillherbreathwasstoppedsheshriekedforhelp——formercy。Whenshecouldspeaknolonger,hergestures,herlooksappealedtomycompassion。Myaccursedhandwasirresoluteandtremulous。Imeantthydeathtobesudden,thystrugglestobebrief。Alas!myheartwasinfirm;myresolvesmutable。ThriceIslackenedmygrasp,andlifekeptitshold,thoughinthemidstofpangs。Hereye-ballsstartedfromtheirsockets。
Grimnessanddistortiontookplaceofallthatusedtobewitchmeintotransport,andsubduemeintoreverence。
"Iwascommissionedtokillthee,butnottotormenttheewiththeforesightofthydeath;nottomultiplythyfears,andprolongthyagonies。Haggard,andpale,andlifeless,atlengththouceasedsttocontendwiththydestiny。
"Thiswasamomentoftriumph。ThushadIsuccessfullysubduedthestubbornnessofhumanpassions:thevictimwhichhadbeendemandedwasgiven:thedeedwasdonepastrecal。
"Iliftedthecorpseinmyarmsandlaiditonthebed。I
gazeduponitwithdelight。Suchwastheelationofmythoughts,thatIevenbrokeintolaughter。Iclappedmyhandsandexclaimed,'Itisdone!Mysacreddutyisfulfilled!TothatIhavesacrificed,OmyGod!thylastandbestgift,mywife!'
"ForawhileIthussoaredabovefrailty。IimaginedIhadsetmyselfforeverbeyondthereachofselfishness;butmyimaginationswerefalse。Thisrapturequicklysubsided。I
lookedagainatmywife。Myjoyousebullitionsvanished,andI
askedmyselfwhoitwaswhomIsaw?MethoughtitcouldnotbeCatharine。Itcouldnotbethewomanwhohadlodgedforyearsinmyheart;whohadslept,nightly,inmybosom;whohadborneinherwomb,whohadfosteredatherbreast,thebeingswhocalledmefather;whomIhadwatchedwithdelight,andcherishedwithafondnessevernewandperpetuallygrowing:itcouldnotbethesame。
"Wherewasherbloom!Thesedeadlyandblood-suffusedorbsbutillresembletheazureandexstatictendernessofhereyes。
Thelucidstreamthatmeanderedoverthatbosom,theglowoflovethatwaswonttosituponthatcheek,aremuchunliketheselividstainsandthishideousdeformity。Alas!thesewerethetracesofagony;thegripeoftheassassinhadbeenhere!
"Iwillnotdwelluponmylapseintodesperateandoutrageoussorrow。ThebreathofheaventhatsustainedmewaswithdrawnandIsunkintoMEREMAN。Ileapedfromthefloor:I
dashedmyheadagainstthewall:Iutteredscreamsofhorror:
Ipantedaftertormentandpain。Eternalfire,andthebickeringsofhell,comparedwithwhatIfelt,weremusicandabedofroses。
"IthankmyGodthatthisdegeneracywastransient,thathedeignedoncemoretoraisemealoft。IthoughtuponwhatIhaddoneasasacrificetoduty,andWASCALM。Mywifewasdead;butIreflected,thatthoughthissourceofhumanconsolationwasclosed,yetotherswerestillopen。Ifthetransportsofanhusbandwerenomore,thefeelingsofafatherhadstillscopeforexercise。Whenremembranceoftheirmothershouldexcitetookeenapang,Iwouldlookuponthem,andBE
COMFORTED。
"WhileIrevolvedtheseideas,newwarmthflowedinuponmyheart——Iwaswrong。Thesefeelingswerethegrowthofselfishness。OfthisIwasnotaware,andtodispelthemistthatobscuredmyperceptions,aneweffulgenceandanewmandatewerenecessary。
"FromthesethoughtsIwasrecalledbyaraythatwasshotintotheroom。AvoicespakelikethatwhichIhadbeforeheard——'Thouhastdonewell;butallisnotdone——thesacrificeisincomplete——thychildrenmustbeoffered——theymustperishwiththeirmother!——'
ChapterXX
WillyouwonderthatIreadnofarther?WillyounotratherbeastonishedthatIreadthusfar?WhatpowersupportedmethroughsuchataskIknownot。PerhapsthedoubtfromwhichI
couldnotdisengagemymind,thatthesceneheredepictedwasadream,contributedtomyperseverance。Invainthesolemnintroductionofmyuncle,hisappealstomyfortitude,andallusionstosomethingmonstrousintheeventshewasabouttodisclose;invainthedistressfulperplexity,themysterioussilenceandambiguousanswersofmyattendants,especiallywhentheconditionofmybrotherwasthethemeofmyinquiries,wereremembered。IrecalledtheinterviewwithWielandinmychamber,hispreternaturaltranquillitysucceededbyburstsofpassionandmenacingactions。Allthesecoincidedwiththetenorofthispaper。
Catharineandherchildren,andLouisaweredead。Theactthatdestroyedthemwas,inthehighestdegree,inhuman。Itwasworthyofsavagestrainedtomurder,andexultinginagonies。
Whowastheperformerofthedeed?Wieland!Mybrother!
Thehusbandandthefather!Thatmanofgentlevirtuesandinvinciblebenignity!placableandmild——anidolatorofpeace!
Surely,saidI,itisadream。FormanydayshaveIbeenvexedwithfrenzy。Itsdominionisstillfelt;butnewformsarecalleduptodiversifyandaugmentmytorments。
Thepaperdroppedfrommyhand,andmyeyesfollowedit。I
shrunkback,asiftoavoidsomepetrifyinginfluencethatapproachedme。Mytonguewasmute;allthefunctionsofnaturewereatastand,andIsunkuponthefloorlifeless。
Thenoiseofmyfall,asIafterwardsheard,alarmedmyuncle,whowasinalowerapartment,andwhoseapprehensionshaddetainedhim。Hehastenedtomychamber,andadministeredtheassistancewhichmyconditionrequired。WhenIopenedmyeyesIbeheldhimbeforeme。Hisskillasareasoneraswellasaphysician,wasexertedtoobviatetheinjuriouseffectsofthisdisclosure;buthehadwronglyestimatedthestrengthofmybodyorofmymind。Thisnewshockbroughtmeoncemoretothebrinkofthegrave,andmymaladywasmuchmoredifficulttosubduethanatfirst。
Iwillnotdwelluponthelongtrainofdrearysensations,andthehideousconfusionofmyunderstanding。Timeslowlyrestoreditscustomaryfirmnesstomyframe,andordertomythoughts。Theimagesimpresseduponmymindbythisfatalpaperweresomewhateffacedbymymalady。Theywereobscureanddisjointedlikethepartsofadream。Iwasdesirousoffreeingmyimaginationfromthischaos。ForthisendIquestionedmyuncle,whowasmyconstantcompanion。Hewasintimidatedbytheissueofhisfirstexperiment,andtookpainstoeludeordiscouragemyinquiry。Myimpetuositysometimescompelledhimtohaveresorttomisrepresentationsanduntruths。
Timeeffectedthatend,perhaps,inamorebeneficialmanner。
Inthecourseofmymeditationstherecollectionsofthepastgraduallybecamemoredistinct。Irevolvedthem,however,insilence,andbeingnolongeraccompaniedwithsurprize,theydidnotexerciseadeath-dealingpower。Ihaddiscontinuedtheperusalofthepaperinthemidstofthenarrative;butwhatI
read,combinedwithinformationelsewhereobtained,threw,perhaps,asufficientlightuponthesedetestabletransactions;
yetmycuriositywasnotinactive。Idesiredtoperusetheremainder。
Myeagernesstoknowtheparticularsofthistalewasmingledandabatedbymyantipathytothescenewhichwouldbedisclosed。HenceIemployednomeanstoeffectmypurpose。I
desiredknowledge,and,atthesametime,shrunkbackfromreceivingtheboon。
Onemorning,beingleftalone,Irosefrommybed,andwenttoadrawerwheremyfinerclothingusedtobekept。Iopenedit,andthisfatalpapersalutedmysight。Isnatcheditinvoluntarily,andwithdrewtoachair。Idebated,forafewminutes,whetherIshouldopenandread。Nowthatmyfortitudewasputtotrial,itfailed。Ifeltmyselfincapableofdeliberatelysurveyingasceneofsomuchhorror。Iwaspromptedtoreturnittoitsplace,butthisresolutiongaveway,andIdeterminedtoperusesomepartofit。IturnedovertheleavestillIcameneartheconclusion。Thenarrativeofthecriminalwasfinished。TheverdictofGUILTYreluctantlypronouncedbythejury,andtheaccusedinterrogatedwhysentenceofdeathshouldnotpass。Theanswerwasbrief,solemn,andemphatical。
"No。Ihavenothingtosay。Mytalehasbeentold。Mymotiveshavebeentrulystated。Ifmyjudgesareunabletodiscernthepurityofmyintentions,ortocreditthestatementofthem,whichIhavejustmade;iftheyseenotthatmydeedwasenjoinedbyheaven;thatobediencewasthetestofperfectvirtue,andtheextinctionofselfishnessanderror,theymustpronouncemeamurderer。
"Theyrefusetocreditmytale;theyimputemyactstotheinfluenceofdaemons;theyaccountmeanexampleofthehighestwickednessofwhichhumannatureiscapable;theydoommetodeathandinfamy。HaveIpowertoescapethisevil?IfIhave,besureIwillexertit。Iwillnotacceptevilattheirhand,whenIamentitledtogood;IwillsufferonlywhenIcannoteludesuffering。
"YousaythatIamguilty。Impiousandrash!thustousurptheprerogativesofyourMaker!tosetupyourboundedviewsandhaltingreason,asthemeasureoftruth!
"Thou,OmnipotentandHoly!Thouknowestthatmyactionswereconformabletothywill。Iknownotwhatiscrime;whatactionsareevilintheirultimateandcomprehensivetendencyorwhataregood。Thyknowledge,asthypower,isunlimited。I
havetakentheeformyguide,andcannoterr。Tothearmsofthyprotection,Ientrustmysafety。Intheawardsofthyjustice,Iconfideformyrecompense。
"Comedeathwhenitwill,Iamsafe。Letcalumnyandabhorrencepursuemeamongmen;Ishallnotbedefraudedofmydues。Thepeaceofvirtue,andthegloryofobedience,willbemyportionhereafter。"
Hereendedthespeaker。Iwithdrewmyeyesfromthepage;
butbeforeIhadtimetoreflectonwhatIhadread,Mr。
Cambridgeenteredtheroom。HequicklyperceivedhowIhadbeenemployed,andbetrayedsomesolicituderespectingtheconditionofmymind。
Hisfears,however,weresuperfluous。WhatIhadread,threwmeintoastatenoteasilydescribed。Anguishandfury,however,hadnopartinit。Myfacultieswerechainedupinwonderandawe。Justthen,Iwasunabletospeak。Ilookedatmyfriendwithanairofinquisitiveness,andpointedattheroll。Hecomprehendedmyinquiry,andansweredmewithlooksofgloomyacquiescence。Aftersometime,mythoughtsfoundtheirwaytomylips。
Suchthenweretheactsofmybrother。Suchwerehiswords。
Forthishewascondemnedtodie:Todieuponthegallows!A
fate,cruelandunmerited!Andisitso?continuedI,strugglingforutterance,whichthisnewideamadedifficult;ishe——dead!
"No。Heisalive。Therecouldbenodoubtastothecauseoftheseexcesses。Theyoriginatedinsuddenmadness;butthatmadnesscontinues。andheiscondemnedtoperpetualimprisonment。"
"Madness,sayyou?Areyousure?Werenotthesesights,andthesesounds,reallyseenandheard?"
Myunclewassurprizedatmyquestion。Helookedatmewithapparentinquietude。"Canyoudoubt,"saidhe,"thatthesewereillusions?Doesheaven,thinkyou,interfereforsuchends?"
"Ono;Ithinkitnot。Heavencannotstimulatetosuchunheard-ofoutrage。Theagentwasnotgood,butevil。"
"Nay,mydeargirl,"saidmyfriend,"layasidethesefancies。Neitherangelnordevilhadanypartinthisaffair。"
"Youmisunderstandme,"Ianswered;"Ibelievetheagencytobeexternalandreal,butnotsupernatural。"
"Indeed!"saidhe,inanaccentofsurprize。"Whomdoyouthensupposetobetheagent?"
"Iknownot。Alliswilderingconjecture。IcannotforgetCarwin。Icannotbanishthesuspicionthathewasthesetterofthesesnares。Buthowcanwesupposeittobemadness?Didinsanityeverbeforeassumethisform?"
"Frequently。Theillusion,inthiscase,wasmoredreadfulinitsconsequences,thananythathascometomyknowledge;
but,Irepeatthatsimilarillusionsarenotrare。Didyouneverhearofaninstancewhichoccurredinyourmother'sfamily?"
"No。Ibeseechyourelateit。Mygrandfather'sdeathIhaveunderstoodtohavebeenextraordinary,butIknownotinwhatrespect。Abrother,towhomhewasmuchattached,diedinhisyouth,andthis,asIhaveheard,influenced,insomeremarkableway,thefateofmygrandfather;butIamunacquaintedwithparticulars。"
"Onthedeathofthatbrother,"resumedmyfriend,"myfatherwasseizedwithdejection,whichwasfoundtoflowfromtwosources。Henotonlygrievedforthelossofafriend,butentertainedthebeliefthathisowndeathwouldbeinevitablyconsequentonthatofhisbrother。Hewaitedfromdaytodayinexpectationofthestrokewhichhepredictedwasspeedilytofalluponhim。Gradually,however,herecoveredhischeerfulnessandconfidence。Hemarried,andperformedhispartintheworldwithspiritandactivity。Attheendoftwenty-oneyearsithappenedthathespentthesummerwithhisfamilyatanhousewhichhepossessedontheseacoastinCornwall。Itwasatnogreatdistancefromacliffwhichoverhungtheocean,androseintotheairtoagreatheight。Thesummitwaslevelandsecure,andeasilyascendedonthelandside。Thecompanyfrequentlyrepairedhitherinclearweather,invitedbyitspureairsandextensiveprospects。OneeveninginJunemyfather,withhiswifeandsomefriends,chancedtobeonthisspot。
Everyonewashappy,andmyfather'simaginationseemedparticularlyalivetothegrandeurofthescenery。
"Suddenly,however,hislimbstrembledandhisfeaturesbetrayedalarm。Hethrewhimselfintotheattitudeofonelistening。Hegazedearnestlyinadirectioninwhichnothingwasvisibletohisfriends。Thislastedforaminute;thenturningtohiscompanions,hetoldthemthathisbrotherhadjustdeliveredtohimasummons,whichmustbeinstantlyobeyed。
Hethentookanhastyandsolemnleaveofeachperson,and,beforetheirsurprizewouldallowthemtounderstandthescene,herushedtotheedgeofthecliff,threwhimselfheadlong,andwasseennomore。
"InthecourseofmypracticeintheGermanarmy,manycases,equallyremarkable,haveoccurred。Unquestionablytheillusionsweremaniacal,thoughthevulgarthoughtotherwise。Theyareallreducibletooneclass,*andarenotmoredifficultofexplicationandcurethanmostaffectionsofourframe。"
Thisopinionmyuncleendeavoured,byvariousmeans,toimpressuponme。Ilistenedtohisreasoningsandillustrationswithsilentrespect。MyastonishmentwasgreatonfindingproofsofaninfluenceofwhichIhadsupposedtherewerenoexamples;butIwasfarfromaccountingforappearancesinmyuncle'smanner。IdeasthrongedintomymindwhichIwasunabletodisjoinortoregulate。Ireflectedthatthismadness,ifmadnessitwere,hadaffectedPleyelandmyselfaswellasWieland。Pleyelhadheardamysteriousvoice。Ihadseenandheard。AformhadshoweditselftomeaswellastoWieland。
Thedisclosurehadbeenmadeinthesamespot。Theappearancewasequallycompleteandequallyprodigiousinbothinstances。
WhateversuppositionIshouldadopt,hadInotequalreasontotremble?Whatwasmysecurityagainstinfluencesequallyterrificandequallyirresistable?
Itwouldbevaintoattempttodescribethestateofmindwhichthisideaproduced。Iwonderedatthechangewhichamomenthadaffectedinmybrother'scondition。NowwasI
stupifiedwithtenfoldwonderincontemplatingmyself。WasI
notlikewisetransformedfromrationalandhumanintoacreatureofnamelessandfearfulattributes?WasInottransportedtothebrinkofthesameabyss?Ereanewdayshouldcome,myhandsmightbeembruedinblood,andmyremaininglifebeconsignedtoadungeonandchains。
Withmoralsensibilitylikemine,nowonderthatthisnewdreadwasmoreinsupportablethantheanguishIhadlatelyendured。Griefcarriesitsownantidotealongwithit。Whenthoughtbecomesmerelyavehicleofpain,itsprogressmustbestopped。Deathisacurewhichnatureorourselvesmustadminister:TothiscureInowlookedforwardwithgloomysatisfaction。
Mysilencecouldnotconcealfrommyunclethestateofmythoughts。Hemadeunweariedeffortstodivertmyattentionfromviewssopregnantwithdanger。Hisefforts,aidedbytime,wereinsomemeasuresuccessful。Confidenceinthestrengthofmyresolution,andinthehealthfulstateofmyfaculties,wasoncemorerevived。Iwasabletodevotemythoughtstomybrother'sstate,andthecausesofthisdisasterousproceeding。
Myopinionswerethesportofeternalchange。SometimesI
conceivedtheapparitiontobemorethanhuman。Ihadnogroundsonwhichtobuildadisbelief。Icouldnotdenyfaithtotheevidenceofmyreligion;thetestimonyofmenwasloudandunanimous:boththeseconcurredtopersuademethatevilspiritsexisted,andthattheirenergywasfrequentlyexertedinthesystemoftheworld。
TheseideasconnectedthemselveswiththeimageofCarwin。
Whereistheproof,saidI,thatdaemonsmaynotbesubjectedtothecontroulofmen?Thistruthmaybedistortedanddebasedinthemindsoftheignorant。Thedogmasofthevulgar,withregardtothissubject,areglaringlyabsurd;butthoughthesemayjustlybeneglectedbythewise,wearescarcelyjustifiedintotallyrejectingthepossibilitythatmenmayobtainsupernaturalaid。
Thedreamsofsuperstitionareworthyofcontempt。
Witchcraft,itsinstrumentsandmiracles,thecompactratifiedbyabloodysignature,theapparatusofsulpheroussmellsandthunderingexplosions,aremonstrousandchimerical。ThesehavenopartinthesceneoverwhichthegeniusofCarwinpresides。
Thatconsciousbeings,dissimilarfromhuman,butmoralandvoluntaryagentsasweare,somewhereexist,canscarcelybedenied。Thattheiraidmaybeemployedtobenignormalignantpurposes,cannotbedisproved。
Darknessrestsuponthedesignsofthisman。Theextentofhispowerisunknown;butistherenotevidencethatithasbeennowexerted?
Irecurredtomyownexperience。HereCarwinhadactuallyappeareduponthestage;butthiswasinahumancharacter。A
voiceandaformwerediscovered;butonewasapparentlyexerted,andtheotherdisclosed,nottobefriend,buttocounteractCarwin'sdesigns。Thereweretokensofhostility,andnotofalliance,betweenthem。Carwinwasthemiscreantwhoseprojectswereresistedbyaministerofheaven。Howcanthisbereconciledtothestratagemwhichruinedmybrother?
Theretheagencywasatoncepreternaturalandmalignant。
Therecollectionofthisfactledmythoughtsintoanewchannel。Themalignityofthatinfluencewhichgovernedmybrotherhadhithertobeennosubjectofdoubt。Hiswifeandchildrenweredestroyed;theyhadexpiredinagonyandfear;yetwasitindisputablycertainthattheirmurdererwascriminal?
Hewasacquittedatthetribunalofhisownconscience;hisbehaviourathistrialandsince,wasfaithfullyreportedtome;
appearanceswereuniform;notforamomentdidhelayasidethemajestyofvirtue;herepelledallinvectivesbyappealingtothedeity,andtothetenorofhispastlife;surelytherewastruthinthisappeal:nonebutacommandfromheavencouldhaveswayedhiswill;andnothingbutunerringproofofdivineapprobationcouldsustainhismindinitspresentelevation。
*ManiaMutabilis。SeeDarwin'sZoonomia,vol。ii。ClassIII。1。2。wheresimilarcasesarestated。
ChapterXXI
Such,forsometime,wasthecourseofmymeditations。Myweakness,andmyaversiontobepointedatasanobjectofsurprizeorcompassion,preventedmefromgoingintopublic。I
studiouslyavoidedthevisitsofthosewhocametoexpresstheirsympathy,orgratifytheircuriosity。Myunclewasmyprincipalcompanion。Nothingmorepowerfullytendedtoconsolemethanhisconversation。
WithregardtoPleyel,myfeelingsseemedtohaveundergoneatotalrevolution。Itoftenhappensthatonepassionsupplantsanother。Latedisastershadrentmyheart,andnowthatthewoundwasinsomedegreeclosed,thelovewhichIhadcherishedforthismanseemedlikewisetohavevanished。
Hitherto,indeed,Ihadhadnocausefordespair。Iwasinnocentofthatoffencewhichhadestrangedhimfrommypresence。Imightreasonablyexpectthatmyinnocencewouldatsometimebeirresistablydemonstrated,andhisaffectionformeberevivedwithhisesteem。Nowmyaversiontobethoughtculpablebyhimcontinued,butwasunattendedwiththesameimpatience。Idesiredtheremovalofhissuspicions,notforthesakeofregaininghislove,butbecauseIdelightedinthevenerationofsoexcellentaman,andbecausehehimselfwouldderivepleasurefromconvictionofmyintegrity。
MyunclehadearlyinformedmethatPleyelandhehadseeneachother,sincethereturnofthelatterfromEurope。Amidstthetopicsoftheirconversation,IdiscoveredthatPleyelhadcarefullyomittedthementionofthoseeventswhichhaddrawnuponmesomuchabhorrence。Icouldnotaccountforhissilenceonthissubject。Perhapstimeorsomenewdiscoveryhadalteredorshakenhisopinion。Perhapshewasunwilling,thoughIwereguilty,toinjuremeintheopinionofmyvenerablekinsman。I
understoodthathehadfrequentlyvisitedmeduringmydisease,hadwatchedmanysuccessivenightsbymybedside,andmanifestedtheutmostanxietyonmyaccount。
Thejourneywhichhewaspreparingtotake,attheterminationofourlastinterview,thecatastropheoftheensuingnightinducedhimtodelay。ThemotivesofthisjourneyIhad,tillnow,totallymistaken。Theywereexplainedtomebymyuncle,whosetaleexcitedmyastonishmentwithoutawakeningmyregret。Inadifferentstateofmind,itwouldhaveaddedunspeakablytomydistress,butnowitwasmoreasourceofpleasurethanpain。This,perhaps,isnottheleastextraordinaryofthefactscontainedinthisnarrative。ItwillexcitelesswonderwhenIadd,thatmyindifferencewastemporary,andthatthelapseofafewdaysshewedmethatmyfeelingsweredeadenedforatime,ratherthanfinallyextinguished。
TheresadeStolbergwasalive。ShehadconceivedtheresolutionofseekingherloverinAmerica。Toconcealherflight,shehadcausedthereportofherdeathtobepropagated。
SheputherselfundertheconductofBertrand,thefaithfulservantofPleyel。Thepacquetwhichthelatterreceivedfromthehandsofhisservant,containedthetidingsofhersafearrivalatBoston,andtomeethertherewasthepurposeofhisjourney。
Thisdiscoveryhadsetthisman'scharacterinanewlight。
Ihadmistakentheheroismoffriendshipforthephrenzyoflove。Hewhohadgainedmyaffections,maybesupposedtohavepreviouslyentitledhimselftomyreverence;butthelevitywhichhadformerlycharacterizedthebehaviourofthisman,tendedtoobscurethegreatnessofhissentiments。Ididnotfailtoremark,thatsincethisladywasstillalive,thevoiceinthetemplewhichassertedherdeath,musteitherhavebeenintendedtodeceive,orhavebeenitselfdeceived。Thelattersuppositionwasinconsistentwiththenotionofaspiritual,andtheformerwiththatofabenevolentbeing。