"ButthisyereyoungMoonisobduratean'goesoveran'giveshimse'ftotheagent，whoputsituphe'llsendhimtoPrescotttobetriedinco'tforbeefin'themule-thiefApachethata-way。
"Shore!itturnsoutjestasCaptainMoonsays。Beforethey'dgoneahalfmile，themwardsofthegov'ment，asIoncehearsabigchieffromWashin'toncall'em，takesthenephyfromthisyerefallaciousagentan'byfourthdrinktimethatmornin'，orwhenit'sbeensun-
upthreehours，thatnephyisnothin'butamem'ry。
"Howdotheykillhim？Inafashionwhich，fromthecoigneyourApacheviewsthings，does'emproud。Thatnephyisimmolatedasfollows:Theyropeshimout，wristan'ankle，withfourlariats；
pegshimoutlikehe'sahidethey'regoin'todry。Thar'sabiganthillcloseathand；it'swithreferencetothisyereantcolonythatthenephyisstakedout。InthreehoursfromthetunethemantsgetsthewordfromtheApaches，they'vedoneeatthenephyup，an'thelastvestitchofhimplumbdisappearswiththelastant，asthelatterresoomeshislaborsondertheearth。
"Why，shore!theseyereants'lleatfolks。Theyre-yardssechreepastsasfestivals，an'seasonsofreelaxationfromthesternerdootiesofaant。IrecallsoncehowwelosesLocoedCharlie，whichdementedpartyIb'lieveImentionstoyouprior。ThisyereCharlietakesadayofffromwherehe'sworkin'——atleasthecallsitlabor——
atthestagecorrals，an'goescurvin'overtoRedDog。Charlietanksuponthewhiskeyofthathamlet，comparedtowhichtheworstnose-painteversoldinWolfvilleisnectar。Theypalmsoffmebbyit'saquartofthisjooceonCharlie，an'thenhep'intsoutforWolfville。
"That'sthelastoftheporedrunkard。Hisponyisnickcrin'aboutthecorralgates，pleadin'withthemulesinsidetoopen'em，inthemornin'，butnosignorsmokeofLocoedCharlie。An'heneverdoesshowupnomore。
"Ifit'sEnrightorCherokeeHall，oranyvalyooedcitizen，tharwouldhaveissooedforthawarparty，an'RedDogwouldhavebeensackedan'burnedbutwhatthemissin'gentwouldhavebeenturnedout。Butit'sdifferentaboutLocoedCharlie。Hehadn'tthatholdonthepop'larheart；didn'tfillsechaplaceinthegen'raleye；an'
so，barrin'awordortwoofwonder，overtheirdrinkattheRedLight，Idon'treckonnowtheWolfvillefolksdisturbsthemse'fspartic'laraboutthecampbein'shyCharlie。
"It'stheseconddaywhenateamster，trackin'overfromRedDog，developeswhat'sleftofLocoedCharlie。Hefallsoffhishoss，withthatloadofRedDogwhiskey，an'everynotionorideeorsensationabsolootelyeffaced。An'whereCharlielosesis，hefallsbyaanthill。Yes；theyshorelytakesCharliein。Thar'snothin'leftofhimwhentheteamsterlocatestheremainder，buthisclothes，hisspursan'his'natomy。Ther'argyardofthemantshaslongsinceretiredwiththefinalfragmentsofLocoedCharlie。"You-allmighto'seenthestory。ColonelSterettwritesitupintheCoyote，an'headsit，'HungerisaTerribleThing。'ThissotCharliecomin'tohisdeaththata-wayputsaawfulscareoverHugginsan'OldMonte。Itreforms'emformore'ntwohours。Huggins，whoisallersfrontin'upasonewhopossessespublicsperit，triestolookplumbdignifiedaboutit，an'remarkstoDaveTuttintheNewYorkStoreashowhethinksweoughterthrowinaroundan'buildamonumenttoLocoedCharlie。Daveallowsthat，whilehe'swithHugginsinthemprojecks，hewantstoaddamonumenttotheants。Thefoundersoftheschemesorto'
splittin'atthego-inthata-way，itdon'tgetnofurther，an'themonumenttoLocoedCharlie，asaenterprise，bogsdown。ButtocontinyooonthetrailofCaptainMoon。
"Mooncomesrumblin'intoWolfville，over-doomebbyit'stwoweeks，bringin'bothteams。Thar-uponherelatesthemoutrages。Thar'sbutonethought，thatagenthaslivedtoolong。
"'Ifhewastheusualcommonformoffelon，'saysEnright，'ondoubted——foritwouldbetheirdooty——thevig'lancecommitteelocaltothempartswouldstringhimup。Butthatain'tpossible；
thisyeremiscreantisagov'mentofficialan'wearsthegov'mentbrand，an'eventheStranglers，ofwhatevercommoonity，ain'tstrongenough，an'wouldn'tbejestifiedinstackin'inag'inthegov'ment。
CaptainMoon'sonlyshowisafeud。Heoughtercaperoveran'，asprivateaspossible，arrogatetohimse'ftheskelpofthisyereagentwhoabandonshisrelatiftothemhostiles。'
"WolfvillelistenstoCaptainMoon'shist'ryofhiswrongs；butasidefromthemeloocidationsofEnright，nogentsaysmuch。Thar'ssomegameswheretroop'litenessconsistsinsayin'nothin'an'
knowin'less。ButthemostcarelesshandincampcanseethatMoon'saimin'atreprisals。
"ThisCurlyBenistrackin'aboutWolfvilleatthetime。Curlyain'twhatyou-allwouldcallaelevatedcharacter。He'sarustlerofcattle，an'asmugglerofMexicangoods，an'Curlyan'theYoonitedStatesmarshalshashadmoreturn-upsthanone。ButCurlyisdeadgame；an'sofar，hemanagestoeitherout-luckorout-shootthemmagistrates；an'，asIsays，whenMooncomeswanderin'inthattimemournin'forhisnephy，Curlyhasbeenprojectin'aboutcampforlikeit'saweek。
"Moonsorto'roominatesontheplay，upan'down，foradayorso，makin'outaplan。Hedon'twanttogobackhimse'f；theagentknowshim，an'themInjunsknowshim，an'it'sevenmoney，ifhecomespokin'intotheirbailiwick，they'lltumbletohiserrant。Insechevents，they'reshoredootocorralhiman'givethemantsanotherholiday。It'stheantpartthatgivesporeCaptainMoonachill。
"'I'lltakeachanceonabowieknife，'saysMoontoDanBoggs，——
Dan，bein'asympatheticgentan'takin'nacherallytofolksintrouble，hasMoon'sconfidencefromthejump；'I'lltakeachanceonabowieknife；an'asforagun，Isimplycourtstheresk。Butthenantsdazzlesme——Ilaydowntoants，an'Ilooksonitasnodisgracetoagenttosayso。'"'Antsshorelydosoundpoignant，'
admitsDan，'speshullythembigblackan'redantsthathasstingerslikehornetsan'pincherslikebugs。Sechinsecks，armedtotheteethastheybe，an'laidouttofightbothwaysfromthemiddle，islikewisetoomanyforme。Iwouldrefoosebattlewith'emmyse'f。'
"Itain'tlongbeforeCaptainMoonan'CurlyBenisseenconfidin'
an'conferrin'withoneanother，an'drinkin'bythemse'fs，an'noonehastobetoldthatMoon'smakin'negotiationswithCurlytorideoveran'downtheagent。TheideeispecooliarlygratefultoWolfville。Itstandstowinnomatterhowthekyardslayinthebox。
IfCurlyfetchestheagentflutterin'fromhislimb，thar'sonemiscreantlessinArizona，iftheagentgetsthedropan'putsoutCurlyBen，itcomesforthjestthesame。It'sthecamp'stheerythat，inallthatentitles'emtodeath，thecasestandshossan'
hossbetweentheagentan'CurlyBen。
"'An'iftheybothgetsdowned，it'sawhip-saw，wewinbothways；'
saysCherokeeHall，an'therestofusfilesawayournose-paintinsilentassenttharwith。"ItcomesoutlaterthatMoonagreestogiveCurlyBenfifteenhundreddollarsan'apony，ifhe'llgooveran'
killofftheagent。CurlyBensaystheprop'sitionisthepleasantestthinghehearssinceheleavesthePanhandletenyearsbefore，an'soheacceptsfivehundreddollarsan'thepony——thesamebein'thenacherofpaymentsinadvance——an'goesclatterin'
offupthecanyononeevenin'onhismissionofjestice。An'thenwehearsnomoreofCurlyBenforaboutamonth。Noonemarvelsnoneatthis，however，asdownin'anygivengentisaprop'sitionwhichinworkin'outislikelytoinvolvedelays。
"Oneday，withunruffledbrowan'anairallcarelessan'free，CurlyBenridesintoWolfvillean'beginsorderin'whiskeyattheRedLightbeforehe'shardlycl'arofthesaddle。Tharain'tnobodyincamp，fromDocPeetstoMissisRucker，butwhat'seagertoknowthefinishofCurly'sexpedition，butofcourseeverybodyhobbleshisfeelin'sinthembehalfs。It'sCaptainMoon'sfooneral，an'heoughterhaveafirst，oninterruptedsay。MooncomesuptoCurlyBenwhereCurlyiscuttin'thealkalidustoutenhisthroatattheRedLightbar。
"'Didyougethim？'Moonasksafterafewp'litepreeliminaries。
'Didyoubringbackhisha'ran'y'earslikeweagrees？'
"'Haveyou-allgottheotherthousandready，'saysCurlyBen。'intheeventIdo？'
"'Rightyereinmywar-bags，'saysMoon，'awaitin'tomakegoodforyourtinean'talentan'troubleinrevengin'myporenephy'sdeemisebywayoftheminsecks。'An'Moonslapshispocketaslocatin'thedinero。
"'Well，Idon'tgethim，'saysCurlyBenca'mly，settin'hisglassonthebar。
"Thar'sapauseofmebbytwominutes，doorin'whichMoonlookscloudy，asthoughhedon'tlikethewaythekyardsiscomin'；CurlyBen，onhispart，issmilin'likewhatHugginscalls'oneofhissongstresses'overintheBirdCageOp'ryHouse。Afterabit，Moonresoomestheminvestigations。
"'Don'tIgiveyoufourstacksofredsan'apony，'hesays，'toreepairtothatmurdereran'floor-managehisobsequies？An'don'tI
promiseyoueightstacksmorewhenyoureportswiththatoutcast'sy'earsan'ha'r，asshowin'goodfaith？'
"'C'rrect；everyword，'saysCurlyBen，lightin'aseegyaranthenleanin'hiselbowsonthebar，aheaponmoved。
"'WhichIwouldadmiretoknow，then，'saysMoon，an'hiseyesisgettin'littlean'hard，'whyyou-alldon'tmadegoodthemcompacts。'
"'Well，I'llonfoldthereasonsan'makeitasplainan'cl'aran'
convincin'asaspadeflush，'saysCurlyBen。'WhenIgetstothisyerevictimofours，Ifindshimtobeamightyprofoosean'lavishformofsport。ThemomentI'mfinishedexplainin'tohimmymission，an'jestasIonlimbersmysix-shootertogethimwherehelives，heoffersmefivethousanddollarstocomebackyerean'killyou。
Nacherally，afterthat，mean'thisyeresubjectofourplottakesafewdrinks，talksitover，an'yereIbe。'
"'Butwhatbeyouaimin'todo？'asksMoon。
"'Whatbeyouaimin'todo？'respondsCurlyBen。AsIstates，he'sshorethemostornerycoyote!
"'Idon'tonderstand，'saysMoon。
"'Whyit'sasobv'ous，'retortsCurlyBen，'astheFenceRailbrand，an'thattakesupthewholesideofacow。Thequestionnowis，doyouraisethisyeregent？HeraisesyouasIexplains；nowdoyouquit，ortilthim，say，athousandbetter？'
"'An'supposeIdon't？'saysMoon，sorto'figgerin'foramomentorso。'Whatdoyoureckonnowwouldbeyournextmove？'
"'Tharwouldbebutonethingtodo，'saysCurlyBenmightyplacid；
'I'dshorelytakehim。Iwouldproceedwithyourdestructionatonce，an'returntothisagentgentan'acceptthatfivethousanddollarhonorariumheoffers。'
"CurlyBenis'bad'plumbthrough，an'thesights，astheysaysinthepicturesquelanguageoftheSouthwest，hasbeenfiledfromhisgunsformanyyears。Whichthislastisrunnin'inMoon'sheadwhilehetalkswithhisdisgustin'emmissary。Moonain'touttotakechancesongettin'theworstofit。An'tharfore，Moonatoncewaxescunnin'awholelot。
"'I'maporeman，'hesays，`butifittakesthemteamsofmine，tothelasttirean'thelasthoof，I'vegottohavethisagent'sha'ran'y'ears。YoucamparoundtheRedLightawhile，Curly，tillIgoovertotheNewYorkStorean'seeaboutmoremoney。I'llbebackwhileyou'relayin'outanotherdrink。'
"Nowit'snottothecreditofCurly，asacrim'nalwhoputsthoughtintohislabors，thatheletsCaptainMoonturnhisflanktheeasywayhedoes。ItdisplaysCurlyaslackin'aheapinmil'tarygenius。
Idon'tpresoometoexplainit；an'it'sallsodeadonnacheralatthisjuncturethattheonlys'lootionI'mcap'bleofgivin'itisthatit'spreedestinatedthata-way。CurlynotonlyletsMoonwalkoff，whichafterhehangsupthatbluffabouttakin'themtermsoftheagent'sismightyirreg'lar，buthe'sthatobtoosehesitsdowntoplaykyards，whilehe'swaitin'，withhisbacktothedoor。Why!
it'slikesooicide!
"Moongoesouttohiswagonsan'gets，an'buckleson，hisguns。
Quick，crafty，briskasacatan'withnomorenoise，Mooncomeswalkin'intotheRedLightdoor。HeseesCurlywherehesitsatseven-up，withhisbackturnedtowardshim。
"'Oneforjack!'saysCurly，turnin'thatfav'ritekyard。Moonsorto'driftstohisr'ar。
"'Bang!'saysMoon'spistol，an'Curlyfallsfor'ardsontothetable，an'thenontothefloor，thebulletplumbthroughhishead，asIinformsyou。
"CurlyBenneverhastheshadowofatip，he'soutoftheRedLightan'intotheregionsbeyond，likesnappin'yourthumban'finger。
It'sassharpasthebuckofapony，he'sMoon'smeatinaminute。
"No，thar'snothin'forWolfvilletodo。Moon'sjestified。Whichhisplayistheonetrailout，foruptothatp'intwhereMoononhookshisguns，Curlyain'tdonenothin'toputhiminreachoftheStranglers。Committeesofvig'lance，thata-way，likeshore-enoughco'ts，can'tpreventcrime，theyonlypunishit，an'uptowhereMoongetsdecisiveaction，thar'snoopenin'bywhichtheStranglerscouldcutinonthedeal。Yes，Enrightconveneshiscommitteean'
goesthroughthemotionsoftryin'Moon。Theydoesthistopreserveappearances，butofcoursetheythrowsMoonloose。An'asthar'sreasons，asanygentcansee，whynoonecarestohavethestoryasitis，bemadeasubjectofinvidiousgossipinRedDog，an'otheroutfitsenviousofWolfville，atEnright'ssuggestion，theStranglersbasestheacquittalofMoononthefactthatCurlyBendeloodesMoon'ssister，backintheStates，an'thendesertsher。
MooncutsthetrailofthebasesedoocerinWolfville，an'gathershiminaccordin'，an'asabrotherpreyedonbyhissister'swrongsisshorelyexpectedtodo。"
"ButCurlyBenneverdidmisleadMoon'ssister，didhe？"Iasked，fortheconfidentfashionwhere-withmyoldfriendreeledoffthefindingofWolfville'svigilancecommittee，andthereasons，almostimposedonme。
"Whichyoucanbetthelimit，"heobservedfiercely，ashepreparedtogointothehotel，"whichyoucangothelimitopen，son，Curlyain'tnonetoogood。"
CHAPTERIX
ColonelSterett'sReminiscences"An'whoisColonelWilliamGreeneSterett，youasks？"repeatedtheOldCattleman，withsomeindignantelevationofvoice。"He'sthefounderoftheCoyote，Wolfville'sfirstnewspaper；isascultivatedagentthata-wayasacquireshisnose-paintattheRedLight'sbar；
an'comesofasgoodaKaintuckyfam'lyaseverdistilsitsownwhiskeyorlosesitsmoneyonahoss。Son，Itellsyouthisprior。"
Thislastreproachfully。
"No，ColonelSterettain'toldnone——notwhatyou-allwouldcallaged。Whenhecomesweavin'intoWolfvillethattime，IreckonsnowColonelSterettismightylikelyabouttwenty-oddyearsyoungerthanme，an'atthattimeIshowsaboutfiftyringsonmyhorns。Asforeddication，he'sshoreaevenbreakwithDocPeets，an'asIremarksfrequent，InevercallsthehandofthatgentinArizonawhoforalib'ralenlightenmentisbullsnakestorattlesnakeswithPeets。
"Speakin'aboutwhoColonelSterettis，heonfoldshispedigreeinfulloneevenin'whenwe'reallsorto'self-herdedintheNewYorkStore。Whichhisstoryisaproudone，an'I'majedgebecausecominasIdofromTennesseemyse'f，nacherallyIsaveysallaboutKaintucky。Thar'sthreegradesoffolksinKaintucky，thesamebein'
contingententireonwhereaboutsthemfolksiscamped。Thar'stheBlooGrassdeestrict，thePennyr'yaldeestrict，an'thePurchase。
TheBlooGrassfolksisthe'ristocrats，whilethemlow-flungtrashfromthePurchaseisaheapplebeian。ThePennyr'yaloutfitiskindo'hesitatin''roundbetweenabalkan'abreak-downinbetweentheothertwo，an'ispart'ristocraticthata-wayan'partmud。AsforColonelSterett，he'spurestrainBlooGrass，an'heshowsit。I'llsaythisfortheColonel，an'itshorelyknitsmetohimfromthefirst，hecouldtakeabiggerdrinkofwhiskeywithoutsugarorwaterthaneverIseesagenttakeinmylife。
"ThattimeIalloodsto，whenColonelSterettvouchsafesthemrecollections，we-allisinther'arwareroomoftheNewYorkStorewherethewhiskeybar'lsbe，samplin'someValleyTanthat'sjestbeenfreightedin。Asshe'snewgoods，thatValleyTan，an'asourtrooviewstouchin'itsmeritsisimportanttothecamp，we'retestin'thebeverageplentyfreean'copious。Noexpertgentcangiveopinionsworthawhitechipconcernin'nosepaintshorto'sixdrinks，an'wewasn'touttomakenoerrorsinourfindin'saboutthatValleyTan。So，asIrelates，we'reallmebbysomefivedrinkstothegood，an'atlastthetalk，whichhasstrayedoverintothehighgrassan'isgettin'awholelottoolearnedan'profoundformostoftheherdtocutinon，settlesdownbetweenDocPeetsanColonelSterettasbein'theonlytwosportsabletoprotecttheirplaytharin。
"An'youcangoasfarasyoulikeonit，'saystheColoneltoPeets，'I'mplumbwisean'fullconcernin'thetransmigrationofsouls。Igivesitmyheartybeliefs。IcancountagentupthemomentIlooksathim；alsoIknowsexactlywhatheisbeforehe'sahoomanbein'。'
"'That"transmigration"thata-way，'whispersDanBoggstoCherokeeHall，'ain'tnofoolofaword。I'llpranceoveran'pullitonRedDogto-morry。Whichit'sshoredootostrike'emdumb。'
"'Nowyere'sHoppin'Harry，'goesontheColonelp'intin'toathin，blacklittlefelonwithlongha'rlikeapony，who'sstrayedoverfromTucson；'Igivesitoutcold，meanin'tharbynooffencetoourTucsonfriend——IgivesitoutcoldthatHoppin'Harryusedtobeat'rant'ler。First，'continyoostheColonel，stackin'Harryupmightyscientificwithhisopticjestshowin'overhisglass，'firstI
allowshe'satoad。Notahornedtoad，whichisavalyooedbeastan'
hasamission；butoneoftheseyereorneryformsoftoadswhichinfeststheEast。Thislastreptileisvulgar-sluggish，aanamileoffewifanyvirchoos；whilethehornedtoad，socalled，comerightdowntocases，ain'tnotoadnohow。It'safalsebrand，an'hedon'tbelongwiththetoadherdatall。Thehornedtoadisalizard——abroadkindo'lizard；an'asforbein'sluggish，youlethimhavesomethingonhismindspeshul，an'he'llshoregocareerin'aboutplumbswift。Moreover，hedon'thop，yourhornedtoaddon't，likethemEasterntoads；hestandsuponhistoesan'paces——he'swhatwe-allcallsontheOhioRiverbackinmychildhood'ssunnyhours，"aside-wheeler。"Also，he'sgotatail。An'asforsperit，letmetellyouthis:——IhasahornedtoadwhereI'mcampedoverbytheTresHermanas，whereI'mdeer-huntin'。Iwinsthattoad'slovefromthejumpwithhunksofbreadan'salthossan'kindreddel'cacies。
Hedotesonme。Whentimehangsheavy，Ientertainsmyse'fwithadooelbetweenAugustus——Augustusbein'thehornedtoad'sname——，an'
aemptysardineboxforwhichheentertainsresentments。
"'"Layforhim，Augustus!"I'dsay，atthesameinstantbattin'himinthenosewiththebox。
"'Ofcourse，Augustusain'tgotsaveyenoughtorealizeIdoesit。
Heallowsit'stheboxthata-waymakin'malev'lentbluffsathim。
An'say，pards，itwouldhavemadeyouproudofyourcountryan'itsstarryflagtoseeAugustusarchhimse'fforwaronthemo'casions。
"'NotthatAugustusismalignantorevildisposed，nacheral。No，sir；I'veyettomeetupwiththetoadwhohashissimple，even，gen'roustemperorlovin'heart；astrustfultoo，Augustusis，asthebabejestborn。Butlikeallnoblenachers，Augustusissensitive，an'heregyardsthembatsinthenoseasinsults。AsI
says，you-allshouldhaveseenhim!He'dpoisehimse'fonhistoes，erectthehornonhisnose，sameasoneoftheseyererhinocerosesofholywrit，an'thenthewayAugustushooksan'harassesthatoffensivesardineboxaboutthecampisalessontofolks。'
"'Where'sthisyereAugustusnow？'asksDanBoggs，who'sgotallwroppedupintheColonel'snarratifs。
"'Petered，'saystheColonel，an'thar'sfeelin'sinhistones；
'poreAugustuscashesin。He'sfollowin'meaboutonemornin'
watchin'mehookup——wewasgettin'readytomovecamp——an'allinadvertentIbacksthewagonontoAugustus。Thehindwheelgoessquar'overhiman'flattensAugustusoutcomplete。Hedieswithhiseyesfixedonme，an'hislookssaysasplainaslanguage，"Cheerup，Colonel!Thisyerecontreetempsdon'tchangemyaffections，forIknowsit'samisdeal。"You-allcangambleIdon'tdonothin'morethatdaybutmourn。'
"'WhichIshouldshorelysayso!'saysDanBoggs，an'hisvoiceisshakin'；'a-losin'ofagiftedhornedtoadlikeAugustus!I'da-
howledlikeawolf。'
"'ButasI'msayin'，'resoomestheColonel，aftercomfortin'himse'fwithaboutfourfingers；'speakin'ofthetransmigrationofsouls，I
goesoffwrongaboutHoppin'Harrythattime。Itakesit，heusedtobeoneoftheseyereEasterntoadsonaccountofhisgait。ButI'merroneous。Harry，whoislittlean'spryan'fullofp'isenthata-
way，usedtobeat'rant'ler。Anygentwho'lltakethetroubletorecalloneofthesehairy，hoppin't'rant'lerspiderswhojumpssidewaysatyou，fullofragean'venom，isboundtoberemindedpartic'larofHoppin'Harry。'
"'Whatdidyou-allusetobeyourse'f，Colonel？'asksEnright，whonoticesthatHoppin'Harryisbeginnin'tobristlesome，likeheain'tpleasednonewiththeseyererevelations。'Whatforaanamilewasyoubeforeyou'reahooman？'
"'Iwasagood-nacheredhoss，'saystheColonelmightyconfidentan'
prompt；'I'magood-nacheredhossinacountryneighborhood，an'
everybodyridesmethatwantsto。However，Iallowswebettershiftthesubjectsome。Ifwe-alltalksabouttheseyereinsectsan'
reptilesalittlelonger，Hugginsoverthar——whoseoneweaknessishe'stoofrankwithan'putstoomuchconfidenceinhislicker——willhaveanotheroneofthemattacksofsecondsight，whichPeetscureshimofthattime，an'commenceseein'amultitoodofheinousvisions。'
"'Ofcourse，'saysEnright，plumbp'lite，'ofcourse，Colonel，Icantellawholelotaboutyourfam'lybyjestlookin'atyou；
partic'larwhereasatpresentyou'reabouttendrinksahead；stillthar'snothin'givesmemorepleasurethanhearin'aboutthesirefromthecolt；an'ifyouwon'treceiveitresentful，I'daskyouastoyourfolksbackinKaintuck。'
"'Asyou-allknows，'observesColonelSterett，'IwasfoaledinKaintucky；an'Imustadd，Ineverrecallsthatjestlycel'bratedcommonwealthwith-outasigh。Itsglories，sechastheywasbeforethewar，isfastdepartin'away。Inmyyooth，tharisnothin'butanobilityinKaintucky；leastwiseintheBlooGrasscountry，whereofI'maemanation。Webredhossesan'cattle，an'madewhiskeyan'
playedkyards，an'theblackfolksdoesthework。Wedescendsintonothin'solowaslaborinthemhalcyondays。Oursocialexistenceismadeupofweddin's，infaresan'visitin''round；an'lifeintheBlooGrassisapleasantroundofchickenfixin'san'flourdoin'sfromoneChristmastoanother。'
"'Sechdeescriptions，'remarksEnrightwithemotionan'drawin'thebackofhishandacrosshiseyes，'bringsbackmyyearlin'daysingoodoldTennessee。We-allisaheaplikeyouKaintucks，downourway。Wewasaroode，exyooberantoutfit；butmanlyan'sincere。It'stroolyaregionwheremenismen，asthatsportcommontoourneckoftimberknownas"thefirsteyeoutforaquartofwhiskey"
testifiestoample。Thar'smyolddad!Icanseehimyet，'an'yereEnrightcloseshiseyessomeecstatic。'Hewasashoreman。Hestoodahundred-footwithoutaknotorlimb；couldwrastleorrunorjump，an'wasgoodtocuta4-bitpieceatonehundredyards，offhand，withhisold8-squar'rifle。Henevershootssquirrels，myfatherdon't；hebarks'em。An'fortoseetheskincracked，orsomuchasadropofbloodononeof'em，whenhepicksitup，wouldhavemortifiedtheoldgenttodeath。'
"'Kaintuckytoahair，'assentedtheColonel，wholistenstoEnrightplentyraptthata-way。'An'thingsissoArcadian!Ifagenthasahouroffan'feelsfriendlyan'likeminglin'withhiskind，allhedoesissa'nteroveran'ringthetownbell。Nacherally，thecommoonityletsgoitsgripan'comestroopin'upallspraddledout。
Itdon'tknowifit'safire，itdon'tknowifit'safight，itdon'tknowifit'sabirth，itdon'tknowifit'sahossrace，itdon'tknowifit'sadrink；an'itdon'tcare。Thecommoonitykeepsitse'fframedupperpetyooaltoenjoyanyoneofthefive，an'
tharforeatthesaidsummonscomestroopin'，asIsay。"'MygrandfatheristhefirstSterettwhoinvadesKaintucky，an'mynotionisthatheconiescurvin'inwithHarrod，Kenton，Boonean'
SimonGirty。Nooneknowswhereverdoeshecomefrom；an'noone'sgotthesandtoask，he'sthatdeadhaughtyan'reserved。Formyse'f，I'mnotfreightedtothegyardswithdetailstouchin'onmygrandfather；hepassesinhischipswhenmebbyI'mtenyearsold，an'theonlythingsabouthimI'mshoreofasachild，isthathe'sthegreatestmanonearthan'ownsallthelandsouthoftheOhioriver。
"'ThisyeregrandfatherI'mtalkin'of，'continyoostheColonelafterag'inrefreshin'himse'fwithsometwentydrops，'livesinabighouseonabluffover-lookin'theOhio，an'callshisplace"TheHill。"Upacrossoneofthebigstonechimleysiscarved"JohnSterett，"thata-way；whichImentionsthesameasgoin'toshowheain'tafeardnoneofbein'followed，an'thatwhereverhedoescomep'intin'outfrom，thar'snorewardofferedforhisreturn。'
"'Iain'tsoshoreneither，'interjectsTexasThompson。'Hemighthaveshiftedthecutan'changedhisname。Sechfeatsisfrequentdown'roundLaredowhereIhailsfrom，an'noquestionsasked。'
"'Upontheroofofhisranch，'goesontheColonel，forhe'ssoimmersedinthemmem'rieshedon'thearTexaswhereheringsinhistheeries，'upontheroofmygrandfatherhasabigbell，an'theropeisbroughtdownan'fetchedthroughaaugerholeinthesideofthehouse，sohecanlayinbedifhefeelslikeit，an'ringthisyeretocsinofhiswhilesominded。An'youcanbetheshorelyringsher!Manyatimean'oftasachildaboutmymother'sknees，thesoundofthatringin'comesfloatin'touswheremyfatherhashishousefourmilesfurtherdowntheriver。Onsecho'casionsI'dupan'ask:
"'"Whateveristhisyereringin'？"
"'"Hesh，mychild!"mymotherwouldsay，smotherin'mymouthwithherhand，hervoicesinkin'toawhisper，forastheheadoftheHouseofSterett，everyoneofthetribeisplumbscaredofmygrandfatheran'mentionshimwithawe。"Hesh，mychild，"saysmymotherlikeIrelates，"that'syourgrandfatherringin'hisbell。"
"'An'fromcalf-timetobeef-time，fromthefirstkyardoutoftheboxdowntotheturn，nooneeverknowswhymygrandfatherdoesringit，forhe'stooonbendin'totellofhisownaccord，an'asI
statesprior，nooneonearthhasgotnervean'forceofcharacterenoughtoaskhim。
"'Myownfather，whosenameisthesameasmine，bein'WillyumGreeneSterett，istheoldestofmygrandfather'schil'en。He'sastern，quietgent，an'allusyoung-onesiswonttostephighan'
softlywheneverhe'spesterin''round。Herespectsnobodyexceptmygrandfather，fearsnothin'butgettin'outoflicker。
"'Likemygrandfatherupat"TheHill，"myfatherdevotesallhistalentstoraisin'runnin'hosses，an'theoldfaunwouldhavebeenaheaplonesomeifthar'sfewerthanthreehundredheadanickerin'
aboutthebarnsan'pastures。Shore!wehasslavestoo；wehasniggerstoastand-still。
"'AsIlookr'arwardtothemdaysofmyinfancy，Ibringstomindastaggerin'blowthatneighborhoodreceives。Astern-wheelersinksabouttwohundredyardsoffourlandin'withonethousandbar'lsofwhiskeyonboard。Whenthenewsofthatwhiskeycomesflyin'inland，itain'tacaseofindividyooalsnorneighborhoods，butwholecountiescomesstampedin'totherescoo。It'snouse；theboatbogsrightdowninthesand；inlessthananhourhersmokestackisonderwater。Allweevergetsfromthewrackisthebell，thesamenowadornin'aPresbyter'anchurchan'summonin'folkstothemservices。Itellsyou，gents，thethoughtsofthatWillowRun，an'
wenotabletosavesomuchasaquartofit，putsacrimpinthatcommoonitytheyain'tyetoutlived。It'mostdrives'emcrazy；theywalksthembanksformonthsa-wringin'theirhandsan'wishin'theimpossible。'
"'Isanyonedrowned？'asksFaroNell，whocomesin，amomentbefore，an'asusualplantsherse'fclosttoCherokeeHall。'Istharanywomenorchildrenaboard？'
"'Nell，'saystheColonel，'Iapol'gizesformyignorance，butI'mboundtoconfessIdon'tknow。Thar'snooneknows。Theawfulfactofthemonethousandbar'lsofWillowRunperishin'beforeourveryeyes，swallowsupallelse，an'minordetailsgetslostintheshufflean'stayslostforalltime。It'saturriblejolttothegeneralsensibilities，an'anygentwho'llgobacktharyetan'lookhardinthefacesofthempeople，canseetracesofthatc'lamity。
"'Asachild，'resoomestheColonel，'I'mromanticawholelot。I'mcarriedawaybymusic。Myfav'riteairsis"Smith'sMarch，"an'
"CeaseAwhileClarion；ClarionWildan'Shrill。"Ieitherwantssomethingwithasobinit'like"CeaseAwhile，"orIdesiresWarwithallherhorrors，sameasagentgetsdisheduptohimin"Smith'sMarch。"
"'Also，IreadsScott's"Ivanhoe，"ainlongstobeacroosader，an'
slayPaynims。IusedtolieonthebankbytheoldOhio，an'shetmyeyesag'inthebrightnessofthesky，an'figgeronthemsetbackswe'dmeteouttoaPayaimifonlywemighttreeoneonceinoldKaintucky。WhichthatSaracenwouldhaveshorelybecomethebasisofsomeceremonies!
"'MostlikeIwasaboutthirteenyearsoldwhentheConfederacydeclar'sherse'fanation，electsJeffDavisPresident，an'frontsupfortrouble。Formyse'fIconcedesnow，thoughIsorto'smothersmyfeelin'sonthatp'intatthetime，seein'we-allcouldlookrightoverintothestateofOhio，saidstatebein'heatedlyinimicaltorebellionan'pawin'fortroublean'rappin'itshornsag'inthetreesatthemereidee；formyse'f，Isay，InowconcedesthatIwasheartan'soulwiththeSouthinthemonhappyruptures。I
breathedan'livedwithbutoneambition，whichistotearthisdevotedcountryintwointhemiddlean'leavethefragmentsthata-
way，inoppositefields。Myfather，stern，ca'm，c'llected，don'tsharethevoylenceofmysentiments。Hetookthemiddleag'intheendsforhis。Theattitoodeofourstateisthatofnootrality，an'
myfatherdeclar'dfornootralitylikewise。Mygrandfatherisdeadatthetime，sohisexampleslosttous；butmyfather，sorto'
projectin''roundforp'sition，decidesitwouldbeonfairinhimtothrowtheweightofhisvalortoeitherside，sohestandsapathandonthatembroglio，declineskyards，an'asIstatesisnootral。
WhichIknowhe'snootralbyonething:
"'"Willyum，"he'dsaythata-waywhenhe'dnoticemeorganizin'togodowntothevillage；"Willyum，"he'dsay。"ifanybodyasksyouwhatyoube，an'speshulifanyofthemYankeesasksyou，youtell'emthatyou'reUnion，butyourememberyou'resecesh。"
"'TheSterettfam'ly，ondoubted，isthesmartestfam'lyintheSouth。MybrotherJeff，whoisfiveyearsolderthanme，givesproofsofthis，partic'lar。It'sJeffwhoinventsthatenterpriseinfishin'，whichforidleness，profitan'pastime，ain'tneverbeenequalledsincetheflood，called"Juggin'forCats。"It'sJeff，too，oncewhenheupsan'jinesthechurch，an'istharafterpreyedonwiththefactthatthechurchowestwohundreddollars，andthatitlookslikenobodycaresatwo-bitpieceaboutitexceptjesthim，whohiresamerry-go-round——oneoftheseyerecontraptionswithwoodenhosses，an'ahewgagplayin'toonesinthecenter——fromCincinnati，setsherupontheGreeninfrontofthechurch，makestheantetencents，an'paysoffthechurchdebtintwomonthswiththerevenoostharof。
"'AsIsitsyere，arelatin'ofthemexploits，'an'ColonelSteretttipsthecanteenforanotherhooker，'asIsitsyere，gents，allfreean'sociablewithwhat's，barnone，thefinestbodyofgentsthateveryanksacorkordrainsabottle，I'veseenthenobilityofKaintucky——theBlooGrassVere-de-Veres——rideuponabloodhoss，hitchthecrittertothefence，an'throwawayafortunebuckin'
Jeff'smerry-go-roundwiththemwoodensteeds。It'sasIsays:thatsanctooaryisplumboutofdebtan'onvelvet——hasabankrollbigenoughtostoppera2-gallonjugwith——ineightweeksfromthetimeJeffonfurlshislay-outan'opensuphisgame。'
"Thar'sonething，"suddenlyobservedmyagedcompanion，asheeyedmenarrowly，pausingintheinterestingColonelSterett'srelationconcerninghisfamily，andbecomingdoublyimpressivewithanupliftedfore-finger，"thar'sonethingIdesiresyoutofullygrasp。AsIreelsoffthisyerechronicle，you-allisnottoconsidermeasrepeatin'theColonel'swordsexact。Iain'tgiftedliketheColonel，an'myEnglishain'tamarkertohis。TheColonelcarriesthelanguagequiledupan'hangin'atthesaddlehornofhisintelligence，likeacowpuncherdoeshislariat。An'whenhe'sgotreadytoropean'throwafactortwo，youshouldoughterseehimtakeherdownan'gotowork。Hornorneckoranyfootyousays；
it'sallonetotheColonel。Bigorlittleloop，inthebreshorintheopen，it'sacinchtheColonelfastenseverytimehethrowshisverbalrope。Thefacthe'safterthata-way，isshoretheColonel's。
DocPeetsinformsmeprivatethatColonelSterettisthegreatestartist，oral，ofwhichhis'tryrecordsthebrand，an'youcangobrokeonPeets'sknowin'。An'thar'sothertest'mony。
"'Idon'tlaydownmyhand，'saysTexasThompson，onetimewhenhiman'meisalone，'toanygentbetweentheRioGrandean'theOregon，onsizin'upaconversation。An'I'llimparttoyou，holdin'nothin'
back，thattheColonelisshorelythelimit。Merelytolisten，isanembarrassmentofgoodthings，likeopenin'afive-handjack-potonaace-full。Hecanevenout-talkmyformerwife，theColonelcan，an'
thatesteemableladypackstherecordasaconversationistinLaredoforfiveyearsbeforeIleaves。She'sadmittedlytheshorestshotwithhermouthonthatrange。Talkin'atamark，orinaction，allyouhastodoisgivetheladythedistancean'letherfixhersightsonce，an'she'llstandthar，withoutarest，an'slamobservationafterobservationintothebull'seyetillyou'llbeabashed。An'yet，comparedtotheColonelyere，thatladystutters!'
"Butnowtoresoome，"saidmyfriendwhenhehadsufficientlycometotherescueofColonelSterettandgivenhimhisproperplaceinmyestimation；"we'lltakeupthethreadoftheColonel'sremarkswhereIleavesoff。
"'Mygrandfather，'saystheColonel，'isagentofiron-boundhabits。Hehashisroolesan'henevertransgresses'em。Thefirstfivedaysoftheweek，helimitshimse'ftofifteendrinksperdiem；
Saturdayherideseightmilesdowntothevillage，castsasiderestraints，an'goesthedistance；Sundayhedevotestomeditations。
"'Thar'stimeswhenIinclinestothenotionthatmygrandfatherpossessespartic'laraptitoodesforstrongdrink。ThisI'llsaywithoutnothoughtsofboastin'，he'stheonelonegentwhereofI
hasaknowledge，whocangiveathree-ringdebauchonderonecanvasinoneevenin'。AsIstates，mygrandfather，reg'lareverySaturdaymornin'，ridesdowntotheCenter，fourmilesbelowourhouse，an'
beginstocrookhiselbow，keepin'noaccountsan'permittin'nocompunctions。This，iftheoldgentisfeelin'fitan'likely，keepsupaboutsixhours'atwhichepock，mygrandfatherisbeginnin'tofeellikehislaigsisaburdenan'walkin'alostart。That'swherethepop'lacegetsaction。Theonlookers，whentheynoteshowmyancestor'slaigsthata-wayisattemptin'toassoomethesoopremedirectionofaffairs，sorto'c'llectshiman'putshiminthesaddle。Settin'tharonhishoss，mygrandfatherisallright。Hiscenterofgrav'tyisshiftedan'locatedmoretohisadvantage。I
esteemsitoneofthemevidencesofasooperiordesignintheyooniverse，an'aplainproofthatthingsdon'tcomebychance，thatlongafteragentcan'twalknone，he'splumbabletoride。
"'Oncemygrandfatherissafeinhissaddle，asIrelates，he'sdue——
himan'hishoss，thislastbein'anonusualsagaciousbeastwhichecallshis"Saturdayhoss"——tolingeraboutthestreets，an'
collab'ratewiththepublicformebbyfivemoredrinks；followin'
whichlastlibations，hegoesrackin'offfor"TheHill。"
"'UpatourhouseonSaturdays，myfatherallersthrowsaskirmishlineofniggersacrosstheroad，withorderstocapturemygrandfatherashecomesromancin'along。An'themfaithfulservitorsneverfails。Theyswarmsdownonmygrandfather，searcheshimoutofthesaddlean'packshimexultin'lyan'lovin'lyintocamp。
"'Oncemygrandfatherisplantedinacha'r，withacoupleofminionsoneachsidetosteadythedeal，theothersbeginstolineouttofetchreestoratifs。I'mtoolittletotakeatrickmyse'f，an'Icanrememberhowonthemimpressifoccasions，Iwouldstandan'lookathim。I'dthinktomyse'f——Iwasmebbyeightatthetime，——"He'sondoubtedthegreatestmanonearth，butmy!howblurredheis!"
"'WhichasIstatesyeretofore，theSterettsystemisthepatriarchalsystem，an'onean'allweyieldsdeferencetomygrandfatherastheonchallengedchiefofthetribe。To'llustratethis:Onedaymyfather，who'sbeentryin'outatwo-year-oldonourlittleoldquarter-miletrack，startsforTheHill，takin'mean'aniggerjockey，an'a-leadin'ofthesaidtwo-year-oldraceralong。
Oncewearrivesatmygrandfather's，myfatherleavesusallstandin'intheyardandreepairsintothehouse。Thenextminutehiman'mygrandfathercomesout。Theydon'tsaynothin'，butmygrandfathergoesalloverthetwo-year-oldwitheyesan'handformightylikelytenminutes。Atlasthestraightensupan'turnsonmyfatherwithafaceloadedtothemuzzlewithrage。
"'"WillyumGreeneSterett，"hesays，conferrin'onmyparenthisfullname，thesamebein'aheapominous；"WillyumGreeneSterett，you'vebroughtthatthingtoTheHilltobeatmyGolddust。"
"'"Yes，"saysmyfather，mightysteady，"an'I'llgorightoutonyourtracknow，father，an'letthatblackboyridehiman'I'llgambleyouallathousanddollarsthatthattwo-year-oldbeatsGolddust。"
"'"WillyumGreeneSterett，"saysmygrandfather，lookin'atmyfatheran'beginnin'tobile，"I'veputupwithaheapfromyou。Youwasowdaciousasachild，worthlessasayooth，an'aspend-thriftasayoungmangrown；an'ascoreoftimesI'vepaidyourdebtsaswasmydootyastheheadoftheHouseofSterett。Butyoureservesitforyourforty-ninthyear，an'whenI'minmyseventy-ninthyear，toperformyourcrownin'outrage。You'vebroughtthatthingtoTheHilltobeatmyGolddust。Nowletmetellyousomethin'，an'it'llbewateronyourwheelawholelot，togiveheedtothatIsays。Yougetontoyourhoss，an'yougetyourchildWillyumontohishoss，an'yougetthatniggerboyontohishoss，an'yougetoffthisHill。An'asyougo，letmegiveyouthiswarnin'。Ifyou-allevermakesamoccasintrackinthemudofmypremisesag'in，I'llfillyoufullofbuckshot。"
"'An'asIsays，toshowthevenerationinwhichmygrandfatherisheld，thar'snotanotheryeepouto'anyofus。Withmyfatherinthelead，wefilesoutforhome；an'tharaftertheeepisodeisnevermentioned。
"'An'now，'saysColonelSterctt，'aswe-allisaboutequippedtoreportjoodiciouslyastothemeritsofthespeshulcaskofValleyTanwe'vebeensamplin'，I'llbringmynarratiftotheclosin'
chaptersinthelifeofthisgrandoldman。Thar'sthistobeobserved:TheSterettfam'lyiseminentfortwothings:itgetseverythingitneeds；an'itnevergetsittillitneedsit。Doesitneedagun，orahoss，oradrink，theSterettfam'lyproceedswiththeround-up。Itbefallsthatwhenmygrandfatherpasseshiseightiethyear，hedecidesthatheneedsreligion。
"'"It'sabouttime，"hesays，"formetobeginlayin'upatreasureabove。I'mgoin'oneighty-onean'myluckcan'tlastforever。"
"'Somygrandfatherhesetsupinbedan'heperoosesthemscripturesforfourmonths。Itellyou，gents，heshorelysearchesthatholybookawholelot。An'thenheputsituphe'llbebaptized。Also，thathe'llenterdownintothewateran'riseupoutofthewaterlikeit'sblazonedinthemtexts。
"'Seein'she'sJanyooaryatthetime，withtwofootofsnowontheground，itlookslikemygrandfatherwillhavetopostponethemrites。Buthecouldn'tbebluffed。Mygrandfatherreachesoutofbedan'heringsthatbellItellsyou-allof，an'proceedstoconvenehisniggers。Hecommands'emtocutdownabigwhitewoodtreethatlivesdowninthebottoms，hollowoutthebuttlogforatrough，an'
haulherupalongsidether'arveranda。
"'Foraweekthar'saincessant"chip!chop!"oftheaxes；an'thenwithsixyokeofsteers，thetroughisbroughtintocamp。It'slongenoughan'wideenoughan'deepenoughtoswimacolt。
"'Thedayforthebaptizin'isset，an'theSterettfam'lycomestrackin'in。Thar'stwohundredof'em，corralcount。Thewholeoutfitstands'roundwhilethewaterisheatin'fortocliptheoldgent。Myfather，whoisthedep'tychiefan'nextincommand，istyrannizin'aboutan'assoomin'todealthegame。"Thar'sabigfireatwhichthey'reheatin'therockswherewithtoraisethetemperatoorofthewater。ThefireisonderthepersonalchargeofafaithfuloldniggernamedBen。Whenoneofthemstonesisredhot，Bentakestwosticksfortongsan'dropsitintothetrough。Thar'sabilean'abuzzan'ageyserofsteam，an'nowan'thentherockexplodesalotan'sendsthewaterspoutin'totheeaves。It'sallplentythrillin'，youcanbet!"Myfather，asIstates，ispervadin'
about，soclothedwithdignity，bein'aftermygrandfatherthenextchickenontheroost，thatyoucan'tgetnearenoughtohimtoborryaplugoftobacco。Onceinawhilehe'dshaseeupan'stickhishandinthewater。Itwouldbetoohot，mebby。"'"Yere，youBen!"he'droar。"Whatbeyouaimin'at？Doyou-allwanttokilltheoldmanDoyouthinkyou'rescaldin'ahawg？""ThenthisyereBen；wouldgetconscience-strickenan'pourinabar'lortwoofcoldwater。Inaminutemyfatherwouldtestitag'inan'say:
"'"Ben，youshorelyarefailin'inyourintellects。Yerethisisascoldasice；you'llgivetheoldmanachill。""Final，however，thewaterisdeclar'dright，an'thenoutcomesabraceofniggers，packin'mygrandfatherinablanket，withthepreacherpreevail。inoverallasoffishulfloor-managerofthefestiv'ties。That'showitends:mygrandfatherisbaptizedan'getsreligioninhiseighty-
firstyear，A。D。；an'twodayslaterhesetsinhischips，shoveshischa'rbackan'goesshoutin'home。
"'"BeIcertainofheaven？"hesaystothepreacher，whenhe'sdowntotheturn。"BeIwinneraccordin'toyourroolesan'tenets？"
"'"Yourplaceisprovided，"saysthepreacher，thata-way。"'"Ifit'sasgoodaplaceasoldKaintucky，theyshorelyain'tgoin'tohavenofussnortroublewithme，an'that'swhatever!"'"
CHAPTERX。
HowtheDumbManRode。
"Now，Idon'treckonnone，"remarkedtheOldCattlemanwithaconfidentialair，"thisyeredumbman'incidenteverarisestomymindag'in，ifitain'tforagentwhosetrailIcutswhileI'mprojectin''roundthepost-officeforletters。
"It'sthismornin'，an'I'mgettin'letters，asIstates，whenI
catchesthisoldpartysorto'beamin'onmefrankan'free，likehe'sshoreafriendlyInjun。Atlasthesa'ntersoveran'remarks，'Whateverisyourcallin'，pard？'orsomesechbluffasthat。"I
seeshe'sgoodpeoplefastenough；stillIallowsasmall，briefjoltmebbydoeshiregood。
"'Well，'Isays，intendin'tolethimknowI'malivean'wakefulthata-way；'well，whatevermycallin'is，atleastitain'tbeennopartofmybringin'uptoletmerestrangersstrollintothecorralan'cinchasaddleontomeforaconversationalcanter，jestbecausethey'redisp'sitionedthata-way。"'Nooffencemeant，'saystheoldparty，an'Iobserveshegrowsredan'ashamedplumbuptohiswhiteha'r。"Excuseme，amigo，"Isays，handin'outmypaw，whichheseizesallradiantan'soon，"Iain'tintendin'nothin'blunt，nortoslamnodooronbetteracquaintance，butwhenyou——allropesatmeaboutwhatyoureferstoasmy"callin"'thattime，Iain'tjestlookin'forastrangertotakesechinterestinme，an'I'mstartledintobein'onp'lite。Itharforetendersregrets，an'，startin'allover，stateswithoutreservethatI'macowman。"An'now，'I
retorts，further，"merelytoplaymyhandout，an'notthatIlookstotakeatrickatall，letmeaskwhatpursootsdoyoup'intoutonasapretextforlivin'？"
"'Me？'saystheoldparty，stabbin'athisshirtbosomwithhisthumb；'me？I'mascientist。'"'Whichthenewsisexhilaratin'an'
interestin'，'Isays；'shakeag'in!Ifthar'sonethin-Iregyardshigh，it'sascientist。Whateverpartic'larwagon-trackdoyou-allfollowoff，mayIask？'"It'sthenthisoldgentan'Ila'nchesintoagen'raldiscussionondertheheadofmes'lancousbusiness，I
reckons，an'lieputsituphislongsuit，ashecallsit，is`moralepidemics。'Hesayshe'swroteonebookonto'em，an'sw'ar:；he'llwriteanotherifnobodyheadshimoff；thesamebein'on-likely。AsheseeshowI'minterested，theoldsportsetsdownan'laysitouttomehowsentimentsgoesinherdsan'droves，sameasweatheran'
thingslikethat。"'Onedayyourollsoutinthemornin'，'thisoldgentdeclar's，`an'tharyoureadshoweverybodycommitssooicide。
Thensomeotherdayit'smurder，thenrobbery，an'ag'in，thewholeround-upgoestoholdin'themchurchmeetin'san'gettin'religion。
Them'swaves；moralepidemics，'hesays。
"Whichthisdon'tlooksoegreegiousnoneasastatement，neither，an'soafterpow-wowin'alot，allcomplacentan'genial，Itellstheoldgenthe'sgotagoodgame，an'Ithinksmyse'fhissystemhasp'ints。Atthis，headmitshe'sflattered；an'then，aswe'regettin'totheendsofourlariats，wetipsoursombrerostoeachotheran'letsitgoatthat。To-morryhe'sgoin'toconferonmehisbook；whichImeanstoreadit，an'thenI'llsaveymoreabouthislittleplay。
"But，"continuedmyfriend，warmwithhisnewphilosophy，"thisyereisallpreelim'nary，an'bringsmebacktowhatIremarksatthejump；thatwhatthatoldgenturgesrecallsthisdumban'deefmanincident；whichitsorto'backshisplay。It'satimewhenapasselofusgetsovercomebywavesofsentimentthata-way，an'notonlyturnsahoss-thieflooseentire，afterthefelon'sdonebeenrundown，butBoggswaxesthatsloppyhelavishesahossan'saddleontohim；likewisesympathy，an'wisheshimluck。
"Thewholeracket'sthatonnacheralIneverdoesquitwonderin'
aboutit；butnowthisoldsciencesharpexpoundshistheoryof'moralepidemics，'itgetscl'aredupinmymind，an'Ireckons，ashesays，it'sshorelyoneofthemwaves。
"Tellthestory？Thar'snothin'muchtosaidyarn，onlytheonpreecedentedleeniencywherewithwewindsitup。Inthefirstplace，Idon'tknowwhatthishoss-thief'snameis，forhe'splumdeefan'dumb，an'ain'tsayin'aword。Iseeshimhoverin''round，butIdon'tsaynothin'tohim。Iobserveshimonceortwicewritethingstofolkshehastotalkwithonapieceofpaper，butit'stooslowaracketforme，toomuchlikeconversin'byfreightthata-way，an'Ideclinestostandinonit。Idon'tliketowritewellenoughtogoopenin'acorrespondencewithstrangerswho'sdeefan'
dumb。
"Whenhefirstdawnsonthecamp，hehasmoney，moderateatleast，an'hegetsinonpoker，an'stud，an'otherdeviceswhichisopenan'common；an'gentswho'swithhimatthetimesayshehasalevelnotionofhands，an'inthelongrun，mebby，amassesalittlewealth。
"WhileIain'tpayin'muchheedtohim，Idoheartowardsthelastofhisstayashowhegoesbrokeag'instfaro-bank。Butasgentsoftengoesbrokeag'instfaro-bank，an'as，introoth，Itastessechreversesonceortwicemyse'f，theinformationdon'texcitemenoneatthetime，norlateron。
"It'smightylikelysomelittlespacesincethisdumbpersonhitscamp，an'thar'sanoutfitofusramblin''roundintheRedLight，which，sotospeak，istheWolfvilleClub，an'killin'timebytalkin'。DaveTuttan'TexasThompsonisholdin'forthateachotherontheefficacyofpray'r，an'thebalanceofusisbein'edified。
"ItlookslikeTexashasbeentellin'ofaMexicanheseeslynchedatLaredoonetime，an'howatendergentringsinsomeorisonsbeforeevertheyswingshimoff。Texasobjectstothempray'rsan'
brands'emashypocrisies。Ashappensfrequent——forbothispowerfuldebatersthata-way——DaveTuttlockshornswithTexas，an'theybothprances'roundoratoricalateachothermightyentertainin'。
"'Nowyougentsonderstand，'saysTexasThompson，'Iain'tsayin'awordaboutthempray'rsasmeresupplications。I'myeretostateI
regyards'emasexcellent，an'thar'sgentsatthattimepresentwho'sexpertsinsechappealsan'whoknowswhatprayin'is，whoallowsthatforfervency，bottoman'speed，theyshorelymakestherecordforwhatyoumightcalloff-handpray'rsinSouthernTexas。
Tharain'tapreachershortofWacoorDallascouldhaveturnedasmoothertrick。ButwhatIcomplainsofis，it'sonconsistent。'
"'Howeverisprayin'thata-wayonconsistent，I'dshorelyliketoknow？'saysTutt，stackin'inag'inTexasplentyscornful。
"'Why，thisa-way，'saysTexas。'Yere'sagentwhoassembleswithhispeerstohangaMexican。Asafirstflashoutenthebox，heputsupastrongpray'rtalktogetthiscrim'nalbytheheavenlygate。
Now，whateverdoyoureckonasaintwhoknowshisbusinessisgoin'
tosaytothat？YerestandsthisconceitedLaredopartyrecommendin'
foradmissiononhighaMexicanhe'she'pin'tolynchasnotgoodenoughforTexas。Ifthempowersaboveain'tallowin'thatprayin'
party'sgothisnervewithhim，theyain'tgivin'thecasethestudywhichisshoreitsdoo。'
"'WhichIdon'tknow!'saysTutt。'Idon'tacceptthemviewsnohow。
Prayin'islikegoin'blindinpoker。Allyoudoishopeawholelot。Iftheangelstakesstockinyourapplications，wellan'good。
Iftheydon't，youcangambleyourspursthey'replentyabletoprotectthemse'fs。Allyoucandoisfilethemsupplications。Theangelslets'emgoorturns'emdownaccordin'。Now，IholdsthatthisLaredosportwhopraysthattimedoesright。Thar'snothin'
likeashowdown；an'hisplay，sincehevolunteerstorideherdontheGreaser'ssoul，istodoallheknows，an'winoutifhecan。'
"'That'swhatever!'saysDanBoggs，who'slistenin'fullofinterest，an'whoallowshe'llbuttinonthetalk。'Ij'ineswithTuttinthis。Mynotionis，whenitcomesagent'sturntopray，lethimpray，an'notgopesterin'himse'fwithvainsurmisesastohowit'sgoin'tostrikethemhostsonhigh。Youcanwageryouain'tgoin'toride'roundOmnipotencenone。Youcandrawuptothelayoutoflife，an'fromthecradletothegrave，you'llnotpickupnosleepersonProvidencethata-way。Now，once，whenI'moveracrosstheMogallonPlateau，I——'
"ButweneverdoeshearwhathappenstoBoggsthattimeoveracrosstheMogallonPlateau；forwhenhe'sthatfaralong，oneoftheniggersfromthecorralcomesscurryin'upan'asksTexasThompsondoeshelendhispintoponyanhourbacktothepartywho'sdeefan'
dumb。
"'WhichIshorelydon't，'saysTexas。'Youdon'taimtotellmenonehe'sdonegotawaywithmypintohoss？'
"Theniggersayshedoes。Heannouncesthatmebbyanhourbefore，thispartycomesovertothecorral，makesamotionortwowithhishands，cinchesthehullontothepinto，an'linesoutforthenortheastontheSilverCitytrail。He'sbeenplumboutensightformore'nhalfanhour。
"'WhichIlikesthat!'saysTexasThompson。'Forbroad，open-air，noon-dayhoss-stealin'，Ioffersevenmoneythisdumbgent'senterpriseisentitledtotheredticket。'
"Whichweain'tstandin'thartalkin'long。Ifthar'sonereformtowhichtheentireWestdevotesitse'f，it'sbreakin'peopleofthishabitofhoss-stealin'。Itain'tnotimewhenfourofusisoffonthedumbparty'strail，an'halfofthatisconsoomedintakin'adrink。
"WhyeverbegentsintheWestsosotag'inhoss-thieves？Son，youabidesinaregionatoncepop'lousan'fertile。Butifyouwastoputinthreemonthsonacactusdesert，withwaterholesfiftymilesapart，itwouldbegintoglimmeronyouastowhatitmeanstofindyourse'fafoot。Itwouldcomeoveryoulikealandslidethatthepartywhostealsyourhosswouldhaveimprovedyourconditioninlifeaheapifhe'dplayedhishandoutbyshootin'aholethroughyourheart。
"No，Iain'tinnosechhurrytohangpeopleforstandin'inonsomekillin'。Thar'stwosidestoakillin'；an'ifdeceasedisframedupwithagunallreg'laratthetime，itgoesalongwaytowardexculpatin'ofthesportwhooutliveshim。Buttharain'tonlyonesidetohoss-stealin'，an'thesoonertheparty'sstrunguporplugged，thesoonerthar'savict'ryfortheright。
"AsIremarks，itain'ttwominuteswhenthar'sfourofusgoneswarmin'offafterthedumbmanwho'sgotTexasThompson'spintopony。Fromthetracks，heain'tmakin'noplaytothrowusoff，forhemaintainsastraight-awayrundowntheSilverCitytrail，an'
neverleavesitordoublesonce。
"Runnin'ofthedumbmandowndon'tturnoutnoarduoustask。It'sdoomainly，however，becausethepintosticksacactusthorninitshoofan'goeslameinlesstimetharafterthanittakestoturnajack。
"'Handsup，'saysTexas，gettin'thedropasweswingsuponthedeefan'dumbfoogitive。
"Butthar'snoneedofsechpreecautions，asthedumbpartyain'tpackin'noweepons——notsomuchasaknife。
"Thar'snothin'tosay，notalktomake，whenwetakeshim。Texasheftshimoutenthesaddlean'ropeshiselbowsbehindwithalariat。
"'Whatdoyou-allsu'gest，gents？'saysTexas。'Is'posenowthedeecorouswayistogoonwiththisyereaggressivean'energeticpersontothempinontreesahead，an'hanghimsome？'
"'Whichthar'snodoubtsfloatin'inanybody'smindonthatsubject，'saysDanBoggs，'butI'dshoreadmiretoknowwhothispartyis，an'wherehe'sheadin'to。Idislikestostretchtheneckofstrangersthata-way；an'ifthar'sanygent，now，whocanaskthisyerepersonwhoheis，an'whathe'sgottosay，I'dtakeitasafavor，personal，ifhe'dbeginmakin'oftheneededmotions。'"Buttharain'tnoneofuscaninstitootethemgestures；an'whenthedumbman，onhisside，putsupafewbluffswithhisfingers，it'saheaptoocomplicatedforusasameansofmakin'statements。"'I
shorecouldn'ttell，'saysDaveTutt，ashesetswatchin'thedumbman'splay，'whetherhe'scallin'usnamesoraskin'forwhiskey。'
"'Whichifwe'dthoughttobringsomestationery，'saysTexas，afterwe-allgoesthroughourwar-bagsinvain，'wemightopensomesuccessfulnegotiationswiththisperson。Asitis，however，we'replumbupag'instit，an'Ireckon，Boggs，he'llhavetohangwithoutyouan'himbein'formallyintrodooced。'"'Jestthesame，Iwishes，'
saysDaveTutt，'thatDocPeetsorEnrightwasalong。They'dshoredigsomethin'outenthiscitizen。'"'Mebbyhe'sgotpapersinhiswamus，'saysBoggs，'whichonfoldsconcernin'him。Gothroughhim，Texas，anyhow:"AllTexascanfindonthedumbmanisoneletter；
thepostmark:whenwecomestodecipherthesame，showsheonlygetsitthatmornin'。Besidesthisyeresinglemissifthata-way，tharain'tascrapofnothin'elsetohim；noryetnowealth。
"'Telluswhat'sintheletter，'saysTexas，turnin'thedocumentovertoBoggs。'Readherout，Dan；I'dplaythehand，butIhastorideherdontheculprit。'
"'Ican'treadit，'saysBoggs，handin'thenotetoTutt；'Ican'treadreadin'，letalonewritin'。ButI'mfreetosay，evenwithouthearin'thatdocumentnone，thatIshorelyhesitatestostringthispartyup。Bein'tongueless，an'nothearin'alickmore'nadders，somehowhekeepsappealin'tomelikehe'slocoed。'
"'Whichifyoueverhasthepleasuretoplaysomepokerwithhim，'
saysTutt，asheonfoldsthepaper，'likeIdothreenightsago，youwouldn'tbeannoyin'yourse'fabouthisbein'locoed。Ifindshimplentydeepan'wary，nottosayplumbcrafty。Anotherthing，it'splainhenotonlygetsletters，butwe-allseeshimwriteabouthisdrinkstoBlackJack，theRedLightbarkeep，an'sim'larplays。'
"Bythistime，Tutt'sgottheletteropen，an'isgettin'readytoread。Thedumbman'sbeenstandin'tharallthetime，withhisarmsropedbehindhim，an'lookin'likehopehasdied；an'alsolikeheain'tcarin'muchaboutitneither。WhenTuttturnsopentheletter，Inoticesthetearskindo'startinhiseyes，sameasifhe'ssomeaffectedsentimental。
"'Whichthisyerecommoonicationisplentybrief，'saysTutt，asherumshiseyeoverit。'She'sdated"CasaGrande，"an'readsasfollows，towit:
"'DearBen:Myraisdyin'；comeatonce。A。""'Now，whoeverdoyoureckonthisyereMyrais？'asksTutt，lookin''round。'she'scashin'
in，that'sobvious；an'I'mputtin'itupshe'smightylikelyawifeorsomethin'ofthisyeredumbparty。'"'That'sit，'saysBoggs。'HegetsthiswordthatMyra'sgoin'overthebigdivide，an'bein'he'sgonebrokeentireonfaro-bank，heplungesovertothecorralan'
rustlesThompson'shoss。Ondersechcircumstances，Iain'tnoneshorehe'srespons'ble。Itake-ittharain'tmuchdoubtbutMyra'shiswifethata-way，inwhicheventmyideeisheonlyborrysThompson'spinto。Whichnacherally，asIfreelyconcedes，thislastdependsonMyra'sbein'hiswife。'"'Oh，notnecessarily，'saysTexasThompson；'thar'saheapofwiveswhodon'tjestifyhosstealiil'alittlebit。NowIplaysitopen，Myra'sthisdumbgent'smother，an'onsechatheeryan'thatalone，Iremovesthelariatfromhisarmsan'throwshimloose。Butdon'ttrytorunnowifebluffonme；I'vebeenthroughthewifequestionwithablazin'
pine-knotinmyhand，an'thar'snothin'worthwhileconcealedtharin。'"'WhichIadoptstheainendiricnt，'saysBoggs，'an'onsecondthought，IstringsmychipswithTexas，thatthisyereMyra'shismother。I'vegotthemoneythatsaysso。'"'Atanyrate，'saysTutt，'fromallIsees，Ireckonsit'sthegeneralnotionthatwecallsthisthingadraw。Wecan'taffordtogomakin'apreecedentofhangin'agentforhoss-stealin'who'sonlydoin'hisbesttobepresentatthisMyra'sfooneral，whoevershemaybe。It'saheapdisgustin'，however，thatwecan'topenupatalkwiththisparty。
WhichInownotesbytheaddresshisnameisMcIntyre。'"An'soitturnsoutthatinnotime，fromfourgentswho'sdeadsettohangthisdumbmanasaboss-thief，weturnsintoasympatheticoutfitwhichisdiggin'holesforhisescape。Italldovetailsinwithwhatmyscientistsaysthismornin'aboutthemmoralepidemics，'an'
thingsgoin'thata-wayinwaves。For，afterall，MyraornoMyra，thisyeredumbmanstealsthatpintohoss。"However，whetherit'srightorwrong，weturnsthedumbmanfree。Notonlythat，butBoggsgetsoutofthesaddlean'giveshimhisponytopursoothemrambleswith。"'Igivesittohimbecauseit'sthebestponyintheoutfit，'
saysBoggs，lookin'savageatus，asheputsthebridleinthedumbgent'shands。'Itcanrunlikeaantelope，thatponycan；an'that'swhyIdonatesittothisdumbparty。Oncehe'sstarted，evenifwe-
allchangesourmoods，he'sshorean'safeawayforgood。Moreover，agentwhosemother'sdyin'，can'thavetoogoodahoss。Ifhedon'tsteponnomorecactus，an'halfrides，he'sdootogochargin'intoCasaGrandebeforetheylosesMyra，easy。'"
CHAPTERXI。
HowPrinceHatGotHelp。
"Comeyere，youboyTorn。"ItwastheOldCattlemanaddressinghisblacksatellite。"Stampedeuptotheirroomsofminean'fetchmemyhat；theonewiththesnakeskinband。Myheadain'tfeelin'nonetoowell，owin'tothebarkeepofthishostelrychangin'mydrinks，an'
thatrattlesnakebandoughterabsorbthemachesan'clar'fymyroominationsaheap。Now，vamos!"hecontinued，asTomseemedtohesitate，"thebigStetsonwiththesnakeskinontoit。
"An'howbeyoustackin'upyours'ef？"observedtheoldgentleman，turningtomeashisdarkagentvanishedinquestofhead-bear。
"Whichyoushorelylooksaswornan'wearyasacalfjestbranded。
It'lldoyougoodtowalkalot；bettercomewithme。Isorto'
orig'natesthenotionthatI'llgoswarmin'aboutpermiscusthismornin'forahourorso，ancirk'latemyblood，an'you-alliswelcometoattachyourse'ftothescheme。Thar'snothin'likeexercise，thata-way，asGriefMudlowallowswhenheurgeshiswifetotakeinwashin'。You'vedoneheardofGriefMudlow，thelaziestmaverickinTennessee？"
IgavemywordthatnotsomuchasarumorofthepersonMudlowhadreachedme。Myfriendexpressedsurprise。ItwasnowthattheblackboyTomcameupwiththedesiredhat。Tommadehisapproachwithaqueerbackwardandforwardshuffle，crooningtohimselfthewhile:
"Raincomewetme，suncomedryme。
Takekeer，whiteman，don'tcomenighme。""Stopthatdouble-
shufflin'an'wingdancin'，"remonstratedtheoldgentlemanseverely，ashetookthehatandfixeditonhishead。"Idon'twantnofrivolitiesan'merry-makin's'roundme。Whichyou'realwaysjumpin'an'dancin'likeoneoftheseyeresnapjackbugs。Iain'taimin'atpompousnessnone，butthar'sasobrietygoeswiththemyearsofminewhichIproposestomaintainifIhastodoitwithablacksnakewhip。Soyou-allboyTom，youlookoutawholelot!I'mgoin'tobreakyouofthemhurdy-gurdytendencies，ifIhastomakeyouwearhobblesan'fralethedudsoffyourbackbesides。"
Tomsmiledtoothfully，yetinconfidentfashion，asonewhoknowshismasterandisnotafraid。
"SoyouneverhearsofGriefMudlow？"hecontinued，aswestrolledabroadonourwalk。"Ireckonsmebbyyouhas，fortheyshoreputsGriefintoabookonce，commemoratin'ofhislaziness。Howlazyishe？Well，son，hecouldbeatMexicansan'let'emdeal。He'sraisedawayoffcast，overamongtheknobsofoldKnoxCounty，Griefis，an'he'sthatlazyhehastoleaveitonaccountofthehills。