Timeisthenurseandbreederofallgood。
　　Hereifthoustay，thoucanstnotseethylove;
　　Besides，thystayingwillabridgethylife。
　　Hopeisalover'sstaff;walkhencewiththatAndmanageitagainstdespairingthoughts。
　　Thylettersmaybehere，thoughthouarthence;
　　Which，beingwrittome，shallbedeliver'dEveninthemilk—whitebosomofthylove。
　　Thetimenowservesnottoexpostulate:
　　Come，I'llconveytheethroughthecity—gate;
　　And，ereIpartwiththee，conferatlargeOfallthatmayconcernthylove—affairs。
　　AsthoulovestSilvia，thoughnotforthyself，Regardthydanger，andalongwithme！VALENTINEIpraythee，Launce，anifthouseestmyboy，BidhimmakehasteandmeetmeattheNorth—gate。PROTEUSGo，sirrah，findhimout。Come，Valentine。VALENTINEOmydearSilvia！HaplessValentine！
　　ExeuntVALENTINEandPROTEUSLAUNCEIambutafool，lookyou;andyetI
　　havethewittothinkmymasterisakindofaknave:butthat'sallone，ifhebebutoneknave。Helivesnotnowthatknowsmetobeinlove;yetIaminlove;
　　butateamofhorseshallnotpluckthatfromme;norwho'tisIlove;andyet'tisawoman;butwhatwoman，I
　　willnottellmyself;andyet'tisamilkmaid;
　　yet'tisnotamaid，forshehathhadgossips;yet'tisamaid，forsheishermaster'smaid，andservesforwages。Shehathmorequalitiesthanawater—spaniel;
　　whichismuchinabareChristian。
　　PullingoutapaperHereisthecate—logofhercondition。
　　'Imprimis:Shecanfetchandcarry。'Why，ahorsecandonomore:nay，ahorsecannotfetch，butonlycarry;thereforeisshebetterthanajade。'Item:
　　Shecanmilk;'lookyou，asweetvirtueinamaidwithcleanhands。
　　EnterSPEEDSPEEDHownow，SigniorLaunce！whatnewswithyourmastership？LAUNCEWithmymaster'sship？why，itisatsea。SPEEDWell，youroldvicestill;mistaketheword。Whatnews，then，inyourpaper？LAUNCETheblackestnewsthateverthouheardest。SPEEDWhy，man，howblack？LAUNCEWhy，asblackasink。SPEEDLetmereadthem。LAUNCEFieonthee，jolt—head！thoucanstnotread。SPEEDThouliest;Ican。LAUNCEIwilltrythee。Tellmethis:whobegotthee？SPEEDMarry，thesonofmygrandfather。LAUNCEOilliterateloiterer！itwasthesonofthygrandmother:thisprovesthatthoucanstnotread。SPEEDCome，fool，come;trymeinthypaper。LAUNCEThere;andSt。Nicholasbethyspeed！SPEED[Reads]'Imprimis:Shecanmilk。'LAUNCEAy，thatshecan。SPEED'Item:Shebrewsgoodale。'LAUNCEAndthereofcomestheproverb:'Blessingofyourheart，youbrewgoodale。'SPEED'Item:Shecansew。'LAUNCEThat'sasmuchastosay，Cansheso？SPEED'Item:Shecanknit。'LAUNCEWhatneedamancareforastockwithawench，whenshecanknithimastock？SPEED'Item:Shecanwashandscour。'LAUNCEAspecialvirtue:forthensheneednotbewashedandscoured。SPEED'Item:Shecanspin。'LAUNCEThenmayIsettheworldonwheels，whenshecanspinforherliving。SPEED'Item:Shehathmanynamelessvirtues。'LAUNCEThat'sasmuchastosay，bastardvirtues;
　　that，indeed，knownottheirfathersandthereforehavenonames。SPEED'Herefollowhervices。'LAUNCECloseattheheelsofhervirtues。SPEED'Item:Sheisnottobekissedfastinginrespectofherbreath。'LAUNCEWell，thatfaultmaybemendedwithabreakfast。Readon。SPEED'Item:Shehathasweetmouth。'LAUNCEThatmakesamendsforhersourbreath。SPEED'Item:Shedothtalkinhersleep。'LAUNCEIt'snomatterforthat，soshesleepnotinhertalk。SPEED'Item:Sheisslowinwords。'LAUNCEOvillain，thatsetthisdownamonghervices！Tobeslowinwordsisawoman'sonlyvirtue:I
　　praythee，outwith't，andplaceitforherchiefvirtue。SPEED'Item:Sheisproud。'LAUNCEOutwiththattoo;itwasEve'slegacy，andcannotbeta'enfromher。SPEED'Item:Shehathnoteeth。'LAUNCEIcarenotforthatneither，becauseIlovecrusts。SPEED'Item:Sheiscurst。'LAUNCEWell，thebestis，shehathnoteethtobite。SPEED'Item:Shewilloftenpraiseherliquor。'LAUNCEIfherliquorbegood，sheshall:ifshewillnot，I
　　will;forgoodthingsshouldbepraised。SPEED'Item:Sheistooliberal。'LAUNCEOfhertongueshecannot，forthat'swritdownsheisslowof;ofherpursesheshallnot，forthatI'llkeepshut:now，ofanotherthingshemay，andthatcannotIhelp。Well，proceed。SPEED'Item:Shehathmorehairthanwit，andmorefaultsthanhairs，andmorewealththanfaults。'LAUNCEStopthere;I'llhaveher:shewasmine，andnotmine，twiceorthriceinthatlastarticle。
　　Rehearsethatoncemore。SPEED'Item:Shehathmorehairthanwit，'——LAUNCEMorehairthanwit？Itmaybe;I'llproveit。Thecoverofthesalthidesthesalt，andthereforeitismorethanthesalt;thehairthatcoversthewitismorethanthewit，forthegreaterhidestheless。What'snext？SPEED'Andmorefaultsthanhairs，'——LAUNCEThat'smonstrous:O，thatthatwereout！SPEED'Andmorewealththanfaults。'LAUNCEWhy，thatwordmakesthefaultsgracious。
　　Well，I'llhaveher;andifitbeamatch，asnothingisimpossible，——SPEEDWhatthen？LAUNCEWhy，thenwillItellthee——thatthymasterstaysfortheeattheNorth—gate。SPEEDForme？LAUNCEForthee！ay，whoartthou？hehathstayedforabettermanthanthee。SPEEDAndmustIgotohim？LAUNCEThoumustruntohim，forthouhaststayedsolongthatgoingwillscarceservetheturn。SPEEDWhydidstnottellmesooner？poxofyourloveletters！
　　ExitLAUNCENowwillhebeswingedforreadingmyletter;anunmannerlyslave，thatwillthrusthimselfintosecrets！I'llafter，torejoiceintheboy'scorrection。
　　ExitSCENEII。Thesame。TheDUKE'spalace。EnterDUKEandTHURIODUKESirThurio，fearnotbutthatshewillloveyou，NowValentineisbanish'dfromhersight。THURIOSincehisexileshehathdespisedmemost，Forswornmycompanyandrail'datme，ThatIamdesperateofobtainingher。DUKEThisweakimpressofloveisasafigureTrenchedinice，whichwithanhour'sheatDissolvestowateranddothlosehisform。
　　AlittletimewillmeltherfrozenthoughtsAndworthlessValentineshallbeforgot。
　　EnterPROTEUS
　　Hownow，SirProteus！IsyourcountrymanAccordingtoourproclamationgone？PROTEUSGone，mygoodlord。DUKEMydaughtertakeshisgoinggrievously。PROTEUSAlittletime，mylord，willkillthatgrief。DUKESoIbelieve;butThuriothinksnotso。
　　Proteus，thegoodconceitIholdofthee——
　　Forthouhastshownsomesignofgooddesert——
　　Makesmethebettertoconferwiththee。PROTEUSLongerthanIproveloyaltoyourgraceLetmenotlivetolookuponyourgrace。DUKEThouknow'sthowwillinglyIwouldeffectThematchbetweenSirThurioandmydaughter。PROTEUSIdo，mylord。DUKEAndalso，Ithink，thouartnotignorantHowsheopposesheragainstmywillPROTEUSShedid，mylord，whenValentinewashere。DUKEAy，andperverselysheperseversso。
　　WhatmightwedotomakethegirlforgetTheloveofValentineandloveSirThurio？PROTEUSThebestwayistoslanderValentineWithfalsehood，cowardiceandpoordescent，Threethingsthatwomenhighlyholdinhate。DUKEAy，butshe'llthinkthatitisspokeinhate。PROTEUSAy，ifhisenemydeliverit:
　　ThereforeitmustwithcircumstancebespokenByonewhomsheesteemethashisfriend。DUKEThenyoumustundertaketoslanderhim。PROTEUSAndthat，mylord，Ishallbeloathtodo:
　　'Tisanillofficeforagentleman，Especiallyagainsthisveryfriend。DUKEWhereyourgoodwordcannotadvantagehim，Yourslandernevercanendamagehim;
　　Thereforetheofficeisindifferent，Beingentreatedtoitbyyourfriend。PROTEUSYouhaveprevail'd，mylord;ifIcandoitByoughtthatIcanspeakinhisdispraise，Sheshallnotlongcontinuelovetohim。