Chapter23
AsplendidMidsummershoneoverEngland:skiessopure,sunssoradiantaswerethenseeninlongsuccession,seldomfavourevensingly,ourwave—girtland。ItwasasifabandofItaliandayshadcomefromtheSouth,likeaflockofgloriouspassengerbirds,andlightedtorestthemonthecliffsofAlbion。Thehaywasallgotin;thefieldsroundThornfieldweregreenandshorn;theroadswhiteandbaked;thetreeswereintheirdarkprime;hedgeandwood,full—leavedanddeeplytinted,contrastedwellwiththesunnyhueoftheclearedmeadowsbetween。
OnMidsummer—eve,Adèle,wearywithgatheringwildstrawberriesinHayLanehalftheday,hadgonetobedwiththesun。Iwatchedherdropasleep,andwhenIlefther,Isoughtthegarden。
Itwasnowthesweetesthourofthetwenty—four:—“Dayitsfervidfireshadwasted,”anddewfellcoolonpantingplainandscorchedsummit。Wherethesunhadgonedowninsimplestate—pureofthepompofclouds—spreadasolemnpurple,burningwiththelightofredjewelandfurnaceflameatonepoint,ononehill—peak,andextendinghighandwide,softandstillsofter,overhalfheaven。Theeasthaditsowncharmorfinedeepblue,anditsownmodestgem,acasinoandsolitarystar:soonitwouldboastthemoon;butshewasyetbeneaththehorizon。
Iwalkedawhileonthepavement;butasubtle,well—knownscent—thatofacigar—stolefromsomewindow;Isawthelibrarycasementopenahandbreadth;IknewImightbewatchedthence;soIwentapartintotheorchard。NonookinthegroundsmoreshelteredandmoreEden—like;itwasfulloftrees,itbloomedwithflowers:averyhighwallshutitoutfromthecourt,ononeside;ontheother,abeechavenuescreeneditfromthelawn。Atthebottomwasasunkfence;itssoleseparationfromlonelyfields:awindingwalk,borderedwithlaurelsandterminatinginagianthorse—chestnut,circledatthebasebyaseat,leddowntothefence。Hereonecouldwanderunseen。Whilesuchhoney—dewfell,suchsilencereigned,suchgloaminggathered,IfeltasifIcouldhauntsuchshadeforever;butinthreadingtheflowerandfruitparterresattheupperpartoftheenclosure,enticedtherebythelightthenowrisingmooncastonthismoreopenquarter,mystepisstayed—notbysound,notbysight,butoncemorebyawarningfragrance。
Sweet—briarandsouthernwood,jasmine,pink,androsehavelongbeenyieldingtheireveningsacrificeofincense:thisnewscentisneitherofshrubnorflower;itis—Iknowitwell—itisMr。Rochester’scigar。IlookroundandIlisten。Iseetreesladenwithripeningfruit。Ihearanightingalewarblinginawoodhalfamileoff;nomovingformisvisible,nocomingstepaudible;butthatperfumeincreases:Imustflee。Imakeforthewicketleadingtotheshrubbery,andIseeMr。Rochesterentering。Istepasideintotheivyrecess;hewillnotstaylong:hewillsoonreturnwhencehecame,andifIsitstillhewillneverseeme。
Butno—eventideisaspleasanttohimastome,andthisantiquegardenasattractive;andhestrollson,nowliftingthegooseberry—treebranchestolookatthefruit,largeasplums,withwhichtheyareladen;nowtakingaripecherryfromthewall;nowstoopingtowardsaknotofflowers,eithertoinhaletheirfragranceortoadmirethedew—beadsontheirpetals。Agreatmothgoeshummingbyme;italightsonaplantatMr。Rochester’sfoot:heseesit,andbendstoexamineit。
“Now,hehashisbacktowardsme,”thoughtI,“andheisoccupiedtoo;perhaps,ifIwalksoftly,Icanslipawayunnoticed。”
Itrodeonanedgingofturfthatthecrackleofthepebblygravelmightnotbetrayme:hewasstandingamongthebedsatayardortwodistantfromwhereIhadtopass;themothapparentlyengagedhim。“Ishallgetbyverywell,”Imeditated。AsIcrossedhisshadow,thrownlongoverthegardenbythemoon,notyetrisenhigh,hesaidquietly,withoutturning—
“Jane,comeandlookatthisfellow。”
Ihadmadenonoise:hehadnoteyesbehind—couldhisshadowfeel?Istartedatfirst,andthenIapproachedhim。
“Lookathiswings,”saidhe,“heremindsmeratherofaWestIndianinsect;onedoesnotoftenseesolargeandgayanight—roverinEngland;there!heisflown。”
Themothroamedaway。Iwassheepishlyretreatingalso;butMr。Rochesterfollowedme,andwhenwereachedthewicket,hesaid—
“Turnback:onsolovelyanightitisashametositinthehouse;andsurelynoonecanwishtogotobedwhilesunsetisthusatmeetingwithmoonrise。”
Itisoneofmyfaults,thatthoughmytongueissometimespromptenoughatananswer,therearetimeswhenitsadlyfailsmeinframinganexcuse;andalwaysthelapseoccursatsomecrisis,whenafacilewordorplausiblepretextisspeciallywantedtogetmeoutofpainfulembarrassment。IdidnotliketowalkatthishouralonewithMr。Rochesterintheshadowyorchard;butIcouldnotfindareasontoallegeforleavinghim。Ifollowedwithlaggingstep,andthoughtsbusilybentondiscoveringameansofextrication;buthehimselflookedsocomposedandsogravealso,Ibecameashamedoffeelinganyconfusion:theevil—ifevilexistentorprospectivetherewas—seemedtoliewithmeonly;hismindwasunconsciousandquiet。
“Jane,”herecommenced,asweenteredthelaurelwalk,andslowlystrayeddowninthedirectionofthesunkfenceandthehorse—chestnut,“Thornfieldisapleasantplaceinsummer,isitnot?”
“Yes,sir。”
“Youmusthavebecomeinsomedegreeattachedtothehouse,—you,whohaveaneyefornaturalbeauties,andagooddealoftheorganofAdhesiveness?”
“Iamattachedtoit,indeed。”
“AndthoughIdon’tcomprehendhowitis,IperceiveyouhaveacquiredadegreeofregardforthatfoolishlittlechildAdèle,too;andevenforsimpledameFairfax?”
“Yes,sir;indifferentways,Ihaveanaffectionforboth。”
“Andwouldbesorrytopartwiththem?”
“Yes。”
“Pity!”hesaid,andsighedandpaused。“Itisalwaysthewayofeventsinthislife,”hecontinuedpresently:“nosoonerhaveyougotsettledinapleasantresting—place,thanavoicecallsouttoyoutoriseandmoveon,forthehourofreposeisexpired。”
“MustImoveon,sir?”Iasked。“MustIleaveThornfield?”
“Ibelieveyoumust,Jane。Iamsorry,Janet,butIbelieveindeedyoumust。”
Thiswasablow:butIdidnotletitprostrateme。
“Well,sir,Ishallbereadywhentheordertomarchcomes。”
“Itiscomenow—Imustgiveitto—night。”
“Thenyouaregoingtobemarried,sir?”
“Ex—act—ly—pre—cise—ly:withyourusualacuteness,youhavehitthenailstraightonthehead。”
“Soon,sir?”
“Verysoon,my—thatis,MissEyre:andyou’llremember,Jane,thefirsttimeI,orRumour,plainlyintimatedtoyouthatitwasmyintentiontoputmyoldbachelor’sneckintothesacrednoose,toenterintotheholyestateofmatrimony—totakeMissIngramtomybosom,inshort(she’sanextensivearmful:butthat’snottothepoint—onecan’thavetoomuchofsuchaveryexcellentthingasmybeautifulBlanche):well,asIwassaying—listentome,Jane!You’renotturningyourheadtolookaftermoremoths,areyou?Thatwasonlyalady—clock,child,‘flyingawayhome。’Iwishtoremindyouthatitwasyouwhofirstsaidtome,withthatdiscretionIrespectinyou—withthatforesight,prudence,andhumilitywhichbefityourresponsibleanddependentposition—thatincaseImarriedMissIngram,bothyouandlittleAdèlehadbettertrotforthwith。Ipassoverthesortofslurconveyedinthissuggestiononthecharacterofmybeloved;indeed,whenyouarefaraway,Janet,I’lltrytoforgetit:Ishallnoticeonlyitswisdom;whichissuchthatIhavemadeitmylawofaction。Adèlemustgotoschool;andyou,MissEyre,mustgetanewsituation。”
“Yes,sir,Iwilladvertiseimmediately:andmeantime,Isuppose—”Iwasgoingtosay,“IsupposeImaystayhere,tillIfindanothersheltertobetakemyselfto:”butIstopped,feelingitwouldnotdotoriskalongsentence,formyvoicewasnotquiteundercommand。
“InaboutamonthIhopetobeabridegroom,”continuedMr。Rochester;“andintheinterim,Ishallmyselflookoutforemploymentandanasylumforyou。”
“Thankyou,sir;Iamsorrytogive—”
“Oh,noneedtoapologise!Iconsiderthatwhenadependentdoesherdutyaswellasyouhavedoneyours,shehasasortofclaimuponheremployerforanylittleassistancehecanconvenientlyrenderher;indeedIhavealready,throughmyfuturemother—in—law,heardofaplacethatIthinkwillsuit:itistoundertaketheeducationofthefivedaughtersofMrs。DionysiusO’GallofBitternuttLodge,Connaught,Ireland。You’lllikeIreland,Ithink:they’resuchwarm—heartedpeoplethere,theysay。”
“Itisalongwayoff,sir。”
“Nomatter—agirlofyoursensewillnotobjecttothevoyageorthedistance。”
“Notthevoyage,butthedistance:andthentheseaisabarrier—”
“Fromwhat,Jane?”
“FromEnglandandfromThornfield:and—”
“Well?”
“Fromyou,sir。”
Isaidthisalmostinvoluntarily,and,withaslittlesanctionoffreewill,mytearsgushedout。Ididnotcrysoastobeheard,however;Iavoidedsobbing。ThethoughtofMrs。O’GallandBitternuttLodgestruckcoldtomyheart;andcolderthethoughtofallthebrineandfoam,destined,asitseemed,torushbetweenmeandthemasteratwhosesideInowwalked,andcoldesttheremembranceofthewiderocean—wealth,caste,customintervenedbetweenmeandwhatInaturallyandinevitablyloved。
“Itisalongway,”Iagainsaid。
“Itis,tobesure;andwhenyougettoBitternuttLodge,Connaught,Ireland,Ishallneverseeyouagain,Jane:that’smorallycertain。InevergoovertoIreland,nothavingmyselfmuchofafancyforthecountry。Wehavebeengoodfriends,Jane;havewenot?”
“Yes,sir。”
“Andwhenfriendsareontheeveofseparation,theyliketospendthelittletimethatremainstothemclosetoeachother。Come!we’lltalkoverthevoyageandthepartingquietlyhalf—an—hourorso,whilethestarsenterintotheirshininglifeupinheavenyonder:hereisthechestnuttree:hereisthebenchatitsoldroots。Come,wewillsitthereinpeaceto—night,thoughweshouldnevermorebedestinedtosittheretogether。”Heseatedmeandhimself。
“ItisalongwaytoIreland,Janet,andIamsorrytosendmylittlefriendonsuchwearytravels:butifIcan’tdobetter,howisittobehelped?Areyouanythingakintome,doyouthink,Jane?”
Icouldrisknosortofanswerbythistime:myheartwasstill。
“Because,”hesaid,“Isometimeshaveaqueerfeelingwithregardtoyou—especiallywhenyouarenearme,asnow:itisasifIhadastringsomewhereundermyleftribs,tightlyandinextricablyknottedtoasimilarstringsituatedinthecorrespondingquarterofyourlittleframe。AndifthatboisterousChannel,andtwohundredmilesorsooflandcomebroadbetweenus,Iamafraidthatcordofcommunionwillbesnapt;andthenI’veanervousnotionIshouldtaketobleedinginwardly。Asforyou,—you’dforgetme。”
“ThatInevershould,sir:youknow—”Impossibletoproceed。
“Jane,doyouhearthatnightingalesinginginthewood?Listen!”
Inlistening,Isobbedconvulsively;forIcouldrepresswhatIendurednolonger;Iwasobligedtoyield,andIwasshakenfromheadtofootwithacutedistress。WhenIdidspeak,itwasonlytoexpressanimpetuouswishthatIhadneverbeenborn,ornevercometoThornfield。
“Becauseyouaresorrytoleaveit?”
Thevehemenceofemotion,stirredbygriefandlovewithinme,wasclaimingmastery,andstrugglingforfullsway,andassertingarighttopredominate,toovercome,tolive,rise,andreignatlast:yes,—andtospeak。
“IgrievetoleaveThornfield:IloveThornfield:—Iloveit,becauseIhavelivedinitafullanddelightfullife,—momentarilyatleast。Ihavenotbeentrampledon。Ihavenotbeenpetrified。Ihavenotbeenburiedwithinferiorminds,andexcludedfromeveryglimpseofcommunionwithwhatisbrightandenergeticandhigh。Ihavetalked,facetoface,withwhatIreverence,withwhatIdelightin,—withanoriginal,avigorous,anexpandedmind。Ihaveknownyou,Mr。Rochester;anditstrikesmewithterrorandanguishtofeelIabsolutelymustbetornfromyouforever。Iseethenecessityofdeparture;anditislikelookingonthenecessityofdeath。”
“Wheredoyouseethenecessity?”heaskedsuddenly。
“Where?You,sir,haveplaceditbeforeme。”
“Inwhatshape?”
“IntheshapeofMissIngram;anobleandbeautifulwoman,—yourbride。”
“Mybride!Whatbride?Ihavenobride!”
“Butyouwillhave。”
“Yes;—Iwill!—Iwill!”Hesethisteeth。
“ThenImustgo:—youhavesaidityourself。”
“No:youmuststay!Iswearit—andtheoathshallbekept。”
“ItellyouImustgo!”Iretorted,rousedtosomethinglikepassion。“DoyouthinkIcanstaytobecomenothingtoyou?DoyouthinkIamanautomaton?—amachinewithoutfeelings?andcanbeartohavemymorselofbreadsnatchedfrommylips,andmydropoflivingwaterdashedfrommycup?Doyouthink,becauseIampoor,obscure,plain,andlittle,Iamsoullessandheartless?Youthinkwrong!—Ihaveasmuchsoulasyou,—andfullasmuchheart!AndifGodhadgiftedmewithsomebeautyandmuchwealth,Ishouldhavemadeitashardforyoutoleaveme,asitisnowformetoleaveyou。Iamnottalkingtoyounowthroughthemediumofcustom,conventionalities,norevenofmortalflesh;—itismyspiritthataddressesyourspirit;justasifbothhadpassedthroughthegrave,andwestoodatGod’sfeet,equal,—asweare!”
“Asweare!”repeatedMr。Rochester—“so,”headded,enclosingmeinhisarms。Gatheringmetohisbreast,pressinghislipsonmylips:“so,Jane!”
“Yes,so,sir,”Irejoined:“andyetnotso;foryouareamarriedman—orasgoodasamarriedman,andwedtooneinferiortoyou—toonewithwhomyouhavenosympathy—whomIdonotbelieveyoutrulylove;forIhaveseenandheardyousneerather。Iwouldscornsuchaunion:thereforeIambetterthanyou—letmego!”
“Where,Jane?ToIreland?”
“Yes—toIreland。Ihavespokenmymind,andcangoanywherenow。”
“Jane,bestill;don’tstruggleso,likeawildfranticbirdthatisrendingitsownplumageinitsdesperation。”
“Iamnobird;andnonetensnaresme;Iamafreehumanbeingwithanindependentwill,whichInowexerttoleaveyou。”
Anothereffortsetmeatliberty,andIstooderectbeforehim。
“Andyourwillshalldecideyourdestiny,”hesaid:“Iofferyoumyhand,myheart,andashareofallmypossessions。”
“Youplayafarce,whichImerelylaughat。”
“Iaskyoutopassthroughlifeatmyside—tobemysecondself,andbestearthlycompanion。”
“Forthatfateyouhavealreadymadeyourchoice,andmustabidebyit。”
“Jane,bestillafewmoments:youareover—excited:Iwillbestilltoo。”
Awaftofwindcamesweepingdownthelaurel—walk,andtrembledthroughtheboughsofthechestnut:itwanderedaway—away—toanindefinitedistance—itdied。Thenightingale’ssongwasthentheonlyvoiceofthehour:inlisteningtoit,Iagainwept。Mr。Rochestersatquiet,lookingatmegentlyandseriously。Sometimepassedbeforehespoke;heatlastsaid—
“Cometomyside,Jane,andletusexplainandunderstandoneanother。”
“Iwillneveragaincometoyourside:Iamtornawaynow,andcannotreturn。”
“But,Jane,Isummonyouasmywife:itisyouonlyIintendtomarry。”
Iwassilent:Ithoughthemockedme。
“Come,Jane—comehither。”
“Yourbridestandsbetweenus。”
Herose,andwithastridereachedme。
“Mybrideishere,”hesaid,againdrawingmetohim,“becausemyequalishere,andmylikeness。Jane,willyoumarryme?”
StillIdidnotanswer,andstillIwrithedmyselffromhisgrasp:forIwasstillincredulous。
“Doyoudoubtme,Jane?”
“Entirely。”
“Youhavenofaithinme?”
“Notawhit。”
“AmIaliarinyoureyes?”heaskedpassionately。“Littlesceptic,youshallbeconvinced。WhatlovehaveIforMissIngram?None:andthatyouknow。Whatlovehassheforme?None:asIhavetakenpainstoprove:Icausedarumourtoreachherthatmyfortunewasnotathirdofwhatwassupposed,andafterthatIpresentedmyselftoseetheresult;itwascoldnessbothfromherandhermother。Iwouldnot—Icouldnot—marryMissIngram。You—youstrange,youalmostunearthlything!—Iloveasmyownflesh。You—poorandobscure,andsmallandplainasyouare—Ientreattoacceptmeasahusband。”
“What,me!”Iejaculated,beginninginhisearnestness—andespeciallyinhisincivility—tocredithissincerity:“mewhohavenotafriendintheworldbutyou—ifyouaremyfriend:notashillingbutwhatyouhavegivenme?”
“You,Jane,Imusthaveyouformyown—entirelymyown。Willyoubemine?Sayyes,quickly。”
“Mr。Rochester,letmelookatyourface:turntothemoonlight。”
“Why?”
“BecauseIwanttoreadyourcountenance—turn!”
“There!youwillfinditscarcelymorelegiblethanacrumpled,scratchedpage。Readon:onlymakehaste,forIsuffer。”
Hisfacewasverymuchagitatedandverymuchflushed,andtherewerestrongworkingsinthefeatures,andstrangegleamsintheeyes
“Oh,Jane,youtortureme!”heexclaimed。“Withthatsearchingandyetfaithfulandgenerouslook,youtortureme!”
“HowcanIdothat?Ifyouaretrue,andyourofferreal,myonlyfeelingstoyoumustbegratitudeanddevotion—theycannottorture。”
“Gratitude!”heejaculated;andaddedwildly—“Janeacceptmequickly。Say,Edward—givememyname—Edward—Iwillmarryyou。”
“Areyouinearnest?Doyoutrulyloveme?Doyousincerelywishmetobeyourwife?”
“Ido;andifanoathisnecessarytosatisfyyou,Iswearit。”
“Then,sir,Iwillmarryyou。”
“Edward—mylittlewife!”
“DearEdward!”
“Cometome—cometomeentirelynow,”saidhe;andadded,inhisdeepesttone,speakinginmyearashischeekwaslaidonmine,“Makemyhappiness—Iwillmakeyours。”
“Godpardonme!”hesubjoinederelong;“andmanmeddlenotwithme:Ihaveher,andwillholdher。”
“Thereisnoonetomeddle,sir。Ihavenokindredtointerfere。”
“No—thatisthebestofit,”hesaid。AndifIhadlovedhimlessIshouldhavethoughthisaccentandlookofexultationsavage;but,sittingbyhim,rousedfromthenightmareofparting—calledtotheparadiseofunion—Ithoughtonlyoftheblissgivenmetodrinkinsoabundantaflow。Againandagainhesaid,“Areyouhappy,Jane?”AndagainandagainIanswered,“Yes。”Afterwhichhemurmured,“Itwillatone—itwillatone。HaveInotfoundherfriendless,andcold,andcomfortless?WillInotguard,andcherish,andsolaceher?Istherenotloveinmyheart,andconstancyinmyresolves?ItwillexpiateatGod’stribunal。IknowmyMakersanctionswhatIdo。Fortheworld’sjudgment—Iwashmyhandsthereof。Forman’sopinion—Idefyit。”
Butwhathadbefallenthenight?Themoonwasnotyetset,andwewereallinshadow:Icouldscarcelyseemymaster’sface,nearasIwas。Andwhatailedthechestnuttree?itwrithedandgroaned;whilewindroaredinthelaurelwalk,andcamesweepingoverus。
“Wemustgoin,”saidMr。Rochester:“theweatherchanges。Icouldhavesatwiththeetillmorning,Jane。”
“Andso,”thoughtI,“couldIwithyou。”Ishouldhavesaidso,perhaps,butalivid,vividsparkleaptoutofacloudatwhichIwaslooking,andtherewasacrack,acrash,andacloserattlingpeal;andIthoughtonlyofhidingmydazzledeyesagainstMr。Rochester’sshoulder。
Therainrusheddown。Hehurriedmeupthewalk,throughthegrounds,andintothehouse;butwewerequitewetbeforewecouldpassthethreshold。Hewastakingoffmyshawlinthehall,andshakingthewateroutofmyloosenedhair,whenMrs。Fairfaxemergedfromherroom。Ididnotobserveheratfirst,nordidMr。Rochester。Thelampwaslit。Theclockwasonthestrokeoftwelve。
“Hastentotakeoffyourwetthings,”saidhe;“andbeforeyougo,good—night—good—night,mydarling!”
Hekissedmerepeatedly。WhenIlookedup,onleavinghisarms,therestoodthewidow,pale,grave,andamazed。Ionlysmiledather,andranupstairs。“Explanationwilldoforanothertime,”thoughtI。Still,whenIreachedmychamber,Ifeltapangattheideasheshouldeventemporarilymisconstruewhatshehadseen。Butjoysooneffacedeveryotherfeeling;andloudasthewindblew,nearanddeepasthethundercrashed,fierceandfrequentasthelightninggleamed,cataract—likeastherainfellduringastormoftwohours’duration,Iexperiencednofearandlittleawe。Mr。Rochestercamethricetomydoorinthecourseofit,toaskifIwassafeandtranquil:andthatwascomfort,thatwasstrengthforanything。
BeforeIleftmybedinthemorning,littleAdèlecamerunningintotellmethatthegreathorse—chestnutatthebottomoftheorchardhadbeenstruckbylightninginthenight,andhalfofitsplitaway。
Chapter24
AsIroseanddressed,Ithoughtoverwhathadhappened,andwonderedifitwereadream。IcouldnotbecertainoftherealitytillIhadseenMr。Rochesteragain,andheardhimrenewhiswordsofloveandpromise。
Whilearrangingmyhair,Ilookedatmyfaceintheglass,andfeltitwasnolongerplain:therewashopeinitsaspectandlifeinitscolour;andmyeyesseemedasiftheyhadbeheldthefountoffruition,andborrowedbeamsfromthelustrousripple。Ihadoftenbeenunwillingtolookatmymaster,becauseIfearedhecouldnotbepleasedatmylook;butIwassureImightliftmyfacetohisnow,andnotcoolhisaffectionbyitsexpression。Itookaplainbutcleanandlightsummerdressfrommydrawerandputiton:itseemednoattirehadeversowellbecomeme,becausenonehadIeverworninsoblissfulamood。
Iwasnotsurprised,whenIrandownintothehall,toseethatabrilliantJunemorninghadsucceededtothetempestofthenight;andtofeel,throughtheopenglassdoor,thebreathingofafreshandfragrantbreeze。NaturemustbegladsomewhenIwassohappy。Abeggar—womanandherlittleboy—pale,raggedobjectsboth—werecomingupthewalk,andIrandownandgavethemallthemoneyIhappenedtohaveinmypurse—somethreeorfourshillings:goodorbad,theymustpartakeofmyjubilee。Therookscawed,andblitherbirdssang;butnothingwassomerryorsomusicalasmyownrejoicingheart。
Mrs。Fairfaxsurprisedmebylookingoutofthewindowwithasadcountenance,andsayinggravely—“MissEyre,willyoucometobreakfast?”Duringthemealshewasquietandcool:butIcouldnotundeceiveherthen。Imustwaitformymastertogiveexplanations;andsomustshe。IatewhatIcould,andthenIhastenedupstairs。ImetAdèleleavingtheschoolroom。
“Whereareyougoing?Itistimeforlessons。”
“Mr。Rochesterhassentmeawaytothenursery。”
“Whereishe?”
“Inthere,”pointingtotheapartmentshehadleft;andIwentin,andtherehestood。
“Comeandbidmegood—morning,”saidhe。Igladlyadvanced;anditwasnotmerelyacoldwordnow,orevenashakeofthehandthatIreceived,butanembraceandakiss。Itseemednatural:itseemedgenialtobesowellloved,socaressedbyhim。
“Jane,youlookblooming,andsmiling,andpretty,”saidhe:“trulyprettythismorning。Isthismypale,littleelf?Isthismymustard—seed?Thislittlesunny—facedgirlwiththedimpledcheekandrosylips;thesatin—smoothhazelhair,andtheradianthazeleyes?”(Ihadgreeneyes,reader;butyoumustexcusethemistake:forhimtheywerenew—dyed,Isuppose。)
“ItisJaneEyre,sir。”
“SoontobeJaneRochester,”headded:“infourweeks,Janet;notadaymore。Doyouhearthat?”
Idid,andIcouldnotquitecomprehendit:itmademegiddy。Thefeeling,theannouncementsentthroughme,wassomethingstrongerthanwasconsistentwithjoy—somethingthatsmoteandstunned。Itwas,Ithinkalmostfear。
“Youblushed,andnowyouarewhite,Jane:whatisthatfor?”
“Becauseyougavemeanewname—JaneRochester;anditseemssostrange。”
“Yes,Mrs。Rochester,”saidhe;“youngMrs。Rochester—FairfaxRochester’sgirl—bride。”
“Itcanneverbe,sir;itdoesnotsoundlikely。Humanbeingsneverenjoycompletehappinessinthisworld。Iwasnotbornforadifferentdestinytotherestofmyspecies:toimaginesuchalotbefallingmeisafairytale—aday—dream。”
“WhichIcanandwillrealise。Ishallbeginto—day。ThismorningIwrotetomybankerinLondontosendmecertainjewelshehasinhiskeeping,—heirloomsfortheladiesofThornfield。InadayortwoIhopetopourthemintoyourlap:foreveryprivilege,everyattentionshallbeyoursthatIwouldaccordapeer’sdaughter,ifabouttomarryher。”
“Oh,sir!—neverrainjewels!Idon’tliketohearthemspokenof。JewelsforJaneEyresoundsunnaturalandstrange:Iwouldrathernothavethem。”
“Iwillmyselfputthediamondchainroundyourneck,andthecircletonyourforehead,—whichitwillbecome:fornature,atleast,hasstampedherpatentofnobilityonthisbrow,Jane;andIwillclaspthebraceletsonthesefinewrists,andloadthesefairy—likefingerswithrings。”
“No,no,sir!thinkofothersubjects,andspeakofotherthings,andinanotherstrain。Don’taddressmeasifIwereabeauty;Iamyourplain,Quakerishgoverness。”
“Youareabeautyinmyeyes,andabeautyjustafterthedesireofmyheart,—delicateandaerial。”
“Punyandinsignificant,youmean。Youaredreaming,sir,—oryouaresneering。ForGod’ssakedon’tbeironical!”
“Iwillmaketheworldacknowledgeyouabeauty,too,”hewenton,whileIreallybecameuneasyatthestrainhehadadopted,becauseIfelthewaseitherdeludinghimselfortryingtodeludeme。“IwillattiremyJaneinsatinandlace,andsheshallhaverosesinherhair;andIwillcovertheheadIlovebestwithapricelessveil。”
“Andthenyouwon’tknowme,sir;andIshallnotbeyourJaneEyreanylonger,butanapeinaharlequin’sjacket—ajayinborrowedplumes。Iwouldassoonseeyou,Mr。Rochester,trickedoutinstage—trappings,asmyselfcladinacourt—lady’srobe;andIdon’tcallyouhandsome,sir,thoughIloveyoumostdearly:fartoodearlytoflatteryou。Don’tflatterme。”
Hepursuedhistheme,however,withoutnoticingmydeprecation。“ThisverydayIshalltakeyouinthecarriagetoMillcote,andyoumustchoosesomedressesforyourself。Itoldyouweshallbemarriedinfourweeks。Theweddingistotakeplacequietly,inthechurchdownbelowyonder;andthenIshallwaftyouawayatoncetotown。Afterabriefstaythere,Ishallbearmytreasuretoregionsnearerthesun:toFrenchvineyardsandItalianplains;andsheshallseewhateverisfamousinoldstoryandinmodernrecord:sheshalltaste,too,ofthelifeofcities;andsheshalllearntovalueherselfbyjustcomparisonwithothers。”
“ShallItravel?—andwithyou,sir?”
“YoushallsojournatParis,Rome,andNaples:atFlorence,Venice,andVienna:allthegroundIhavewanderedovershallbere—troddenbyyou:whereverIstampedmyhoof,yoursylph’sfootshallstepalso。Tenyearssince,IflewthroughEuropehalfmad;withdisgust,hate,andrageasmycompanions:nowIshallrevisitithealedandcleansed,withaveryangelasmycomforter。”
Ilaughedathimashesaidthis。“Iamnotanangel,”Iasserted;“andIwillnotbeonetillIdie:Iwillbemyself。Mr。Rochester,youmustneitherexpectnorexactanythingcelestialofme—foryouwillnotgetit,anymorethanIshallgetitofyou:whichIdonotatallanticipate。”
“Whatdoyouanticipateofme?”
“Foralittlewhileyouwillperhapsbeasyouarenow,—averylittlewhile;andthenyouwillturncool;andthenyouwillbecapricious;andthenyouwillbestern,andIshallhavemuchadotopleaseyou:butwhenyougetwellusedtome,youwillperhapslikemeagain,—likeme,Isay,notloveme。Isupposeyourlovewilleffervesceinsixmonths,orless。Ihaveobservedinbookswrittenbymen,thatperiodassignedasthefarthesttowhichahusband’sardourextends。Yet,afterall,asafriendandcompanion,Ihopenevertobecomequitedistastefultomydearmaster。”
“Distasteful!andlikeyouagain!IthinkIshalllikeyouagain,andyetagain:andIwillmakeyouconfessIdonotonlylike,butloveyou—withtruth,fervour,constancy。”
“Yetareyounotcapricious,sir?”
“Towomenwhopleasemeonlybytheirfaces,IamtheverydevilwhenIfindouttheyhaveneithersoulsnorhearts—whentheyopentomeaperspectiveofflatness,triviality,andperhapsimbecility,coarseness,andill—temper:buttothecleareyeandeloquenttongue,tothesoulmadeoffire,andthecharacterthatbendsbutdoesnotbreak—atoncesuppleandstable,tractableandconsistent—Iamevertenderandtrue。”