'IfIgoon，sir，now，Imunaskyo'topromiseasyo'llnivertell。
　　IdosoneedsomeonetotellmewhatIoughttodo，andIwereledhere，like，elseIwouldha'diedwi'itallwithinmyteeth。Yo'llpromise，sir？'
　　JeremiahFosterlookedinherface，andseeingthewistful，eagerlook，hewastouchedalmostagainsthisjudgmentintogivingthepromiserequired;
　　shewenton。
　　'UponaTuesdaymorning，threeweeksago，Ithink，tho'fort'mattero'timeitmightha'beenthreeyears，Kinraidcomehome;comebackfort'claimmeashiswife，andIwerewedtoPhilip！Imethimi't'roadatfirst;andIcouldn'ttellhimtheere。Hefollowedmeintot'house——Philip'shouse，sir，behindt'shop——andsomehowItoldhimall，howIwereaweddedwifetoanother。ThenheupandsaidI'dafalseheart——mefalse，sir，ashadeatenmydailybreadinbitterness，andhadweptt'nightsthrough，allforsorrowandmourningforhisdeath！ThenhesaidasPhilipknowedallt'timehewerealiveandcomingbackforme;andIcouldn'tbelieveit，andIcalledPhilip，andhecome，anda'thatCharleyhadsaidweretrue;andyetIwerePhilip'swife！SoItookamightyoath，andIsaidasI'dniverholdPhiliptobemylawfulhusbandagain，noriverforgivehimfort'evilhe'dwroughtus，butholdhimasastrangerandoneashaddonemeaheavywrong。'
　　Shestoppedspeaking;herstoryseemedtohertoendthere。Butherlistenersaid，afterapause，'Itwereacruelwrong，Igranttheethat;butthyoathwereasin，andthywordswereevil，mypoorlass。Whathappenednext？'
　　'Idon'tjustlyremember，'shesaid，wearily。'Kinraidwentaway，andmothercriedout;andIwenttoher。Shewereasleep，Ithought，soIlaydownbyher，towishIweredead，andtothinkonwhatwouldcomeonmychildifIdied;andPhilipcameinsoftly，andImadeasifIwereasleep;
　　andthat'st'verylastasI'veiverseenorhearedofhim。'
　　JeremiahFostergroanedassheendedherstory。Thenhepulledhimselfup，andsaid，inacheerfultoneofvoice，'He'llcomeback，SylviaHepburn。He'llthinkbetterofit:neverfear！'
　　'Ifearhiscomingback！'saidshe。'That'swhatI'mfearedon;IwouldwishasIknewonhiswell—doingi'someotherplace;buthimandmecanniverlivetogetheragain。'
　　'Nay，'pleadedJeremiah。'Theeartsorrywhattheesaid;theeweresoreputabout，ortheewouldn'thavesaidit。'
　　Hewastryingtobeapeace—maker，andtohealoverconjugaldifferences;
　　buthedidnotgodeepenough。
　　'I'mnotsorry，'saidshe，slowly。'Iweretoodeeplywrongedtobe"putabout;"thatwouldgooffwi'anight'ssleep。It'sonlythethoughtofmother（she'sdeadandhappy，andknowsnoughtofallthis，Itrust）
　　thatcomesbetweenmeandhatingPhilip。I'mnotsorryforwhatIsaid。'
　　Jeremiahhadnevermetwithanyonesofrankandundisguisedinexpressionsofwrongfeeling，andhescarcelyknewwhattosay。
　　Helookedextremelygrieved，andnotalittleshocked。Soprettyanddelicateayoungcreaturetousesuchstrongrelentlesslanguage！
　　Sheseemedtoreadhisthoughts，forshemadeanswertothem。
　　'IdaresayyouthinkI'mverywicked，sir，nottobesorry。PerhapsIam。Ican'tthinko'thatforrememberinghowI'vesuffered;andheknewhowmiserableIwas，andmightha'clearedmymiseryawaywi'aword;andheheldhispeace，andnowit'stoolate！I'msicko'menandtheircruel，deceitfulways。IwishIweredead。'
　　Shewascryingbeforeshehadendedthisspeech，andseeinghertears，thechildbegantocrytoo，stretchingoutitslittlearmstogobacktoitsmother。Thehardstonylookonherfacemeltedawayintothesoftest，tenderestloveassheclaspedthelittleonetoher，andtriedtosootheitsfrightenedsobs。
　　Abrightthoughtcameintotheoldman'smind。
　　Hehadbeentakingacompletedisliketohertillherprettywaywithherbabyshowedhimthatshehadaheartoffleshwithinher。
　　'Poorlittleone！'saidhe，'thymotherhadneedlovethee，forshe'sdeprivedtheeofthyfather'slove。Thou'rthalf—waytobeinganorphan;
　　yetIcannotcalltheeoneofthefatherlesstowhomGodwillbeafather。
　　Thou'rtadesolatebabe，thoumay'stwellcry;thineearthlyparentshaveforsakenthee，andIknownotiftheLordwilltaketheeup。'
　　Sylvialookedupathimaffrighted;holdingherbabytightertoher，sheexclaimed。
　　'Don'tspeakso，sir！it'scursing，sir！Ihaven'tforsakenher！Oh，sir！thoseareawfulsayings。'
　　'Theehastswornnevertoforgivethyhusband，nortolivewithhimagain。Dosttheeknowthatbythelawoftheland，hemayclaimhischild;
　　andthenthouwilthavetoforsakeit，ortobeforsworn？Poorlittlemaiden！'
　　continuedhe，oncemoreluringthebabytohimwiththetemptationofthewatchandchain。
　　Sylviathoughtforawhilebeforespeaking。Thenshesaid，'Icannottellwhatwaystotake。WhilesIthinkmyheadiscrazed。
　　Itwereacruelturnhedidme！'
　　'Itwas。Icouldn'thavethoughthimguiltyofsuchbaseness。'
　　Thisacquiescence，whichwasperfectlyhonestonJeremiah'spart，almosttookSylviabysurprise。Whymightshenothateonewhohadbeenbothcruelandbaseinhistreatmentofher？AndyetsherecoiledfromtheapplicationofsuchhardtermsbyanothertoPhilip，byacool—judgingandindifferentperson，assheesteemedJeremiahtobe。Fromsomeinscrutableturninherthoughts，shebegantodefendhim，oratleasttopalliatetheharshjudgmentwhichsheherselfhadbeenthefirsttopronounce。
　　'Heweresotendertomother;sheweredearlyfondonhim;heniversparedaughthecoulddoforher，elseIwouldniverha'marriedhim。'
　　'Hewasagoodandkind—heartedladfromthetimehewasfifteen。AndIneverfoundhimoutinanyfalsehood，nomoredidmybrother。'
　　'Butitwereallthesameasalie，'saidSylvia，swiftlychangingherground，'toleavemetothinkasCharleyweredead，whenheknowedallt'timehewerealive。'
　　'Itwas。Itwasaself—seekinglie;puttingtheetopaintogethisownends。AndtheendofithasbeenthatheisdrivenforthlikeCain。'
　　'Inivertoldhimtogo，sir。'
　　'Butthywordssenthimforth，Sylvia。'
　　'Icannotunsaythem，sir;andIbelieveasIshouldsaythemagain。'
　　Butshesaidthisasonewhoratherhopesforacontradiction。
　　AllJeremiahreplied，however，'was，'Poorweechild！'inapitifultone，addressedtothebaby。
　　Sylvia'seyesfilledwithtears。
　　'Oh，sir，I'lldoanythingasiveryo'cantellmeforher。That'swhatIcamefort'askyo'。IknowImunnotstaytheere，andPhilipgoneaway;
　　andIdunnotknowwhattodo:andI'lldoaught，onlyImustkeepherwi'
　　me。WhativercanIdo，sir？'
　　Jeremiahthoughtitoverforaminuteortwo。Thenhereplied，'Imusthavetimetothink。ImusttalkitoverwithbrotherJohn。'
　　'Butyou'vegivenmeyo'rword，sir！'exclaimedshe。
　　'Ihavegiventheemywordnevertotellanyoneofwhathaspassedbetweentheeandthyhusband，butImusttakecounselwithmybrotherastowhatistobedonewiththeeandthychild，nowthatthyhusbandhaslefttheshop。'
　　Thiswassaidsogravelyasalmosttobeareproach，andhegotup，asasignthattheinterviewwasended。
　　Hegavethebabybacktoitsmother;butnotwithoutasolemnblessing，sosolemnthat，toSylvia'ssuperstitiousandexcitedmind，itundidtheterrorsofwhatshehadesteemedtobeacurse。
　　'TheLordblesstheeandkeepthee！TheLordmakeHisfacetoshineuponthee！'
　　Allthewaydownthehill—side，Sylviakeptkissingthechild，andwhisperingtoitsunconsciousears，——
　　'I'lllovetheeforboth，mytreasure，Iwill。I'llhaptheeroundwi'
　　mylove，soasthoushallniverneedafeyther's。'
　　chapter37CHAPTERXXXVIIBEREAVEMENTHesterhadbeenpreventedbyhermother'sindispositionfromtakingPhilip'slettertotheFosters，toholdaconsultationwiththemoveritscontents。
　　AliceRosewasslowlyfailing，andthelongdayswhichshehadtospendalonetoldmuchuponherspirits，andconsequentlyuponherhealth。
　　AllthiscameoutintheconversationwhichensuedafterreadingHepburn'sletterinthelittleparlouratthebankonthedayafterSylviahadhadherconfidentialinterviewwithJeremiahFoster。
　　Hewasatruemanofhonour，andneversomuchasalludedtohervisittohim;butwhatshehadthentoldhiminfluencedhimverymuchintheformationoftheprojectwhichheproposedtohisbrotherandHester。
　　Herecommendedherremainingwhereshewas，livingstillinthehousebehindtheshop;forhethoughtwithinhimselfthatshemighthaveexaggeratedtheeffectofherwordsuponPhilip;that，afterall，itmighthavebeensomecausetotallydisconnectedwiththem，whichhadblottedoutherhusband'splaceamongthemenofMonkshaven;andthatitwouldbesomucheasierforbothtoresumetheirnaturalrelations，bothtowardseachotherandtowardstheworld，ifSylviaremainedwhereherhusbandhadlefther——inanexpectantattitude，sotospeak。
　　JeremiahFosterquestionedHesterstraitlyaboutherletter:whethershehadmadeknownitscontentstoanyone。No，nottoanyone。NeithertohermothernortoWilliamCoulson？No，toneither。
　　Shelookedathimassherepliedtohisinquiries，andhelookedather，eachwonderingiftheothercouldbeintheleastawarethataconjugalquarrelmightbeattherootofthedilemmainwhichtheywereplacedbyHepburn'sdisappearance。
　　ButneitherHester，whohadwitnessedthemisunderstandingbetweenthehusbandandwifeontheevening，beforethemorningonwhichPhilipwentaway，norJeremiahFoster，whohadlearntfromSylviathetruereasonofherhusband'sdisappearance，gavetheslightestreasontotheothertothinkthattheyeachsupposedtheyhadacluetothereasonofHepburn'ssuddendeparture。
　　WhatJeremiahFoster，afteranight'sconsideration，hadtoproposewasthis;thatHesterandhermothershouldcomeandoccupythehouseinthemarket—place，conjointlywithSylviaandherchild。Hester'sinterestintheshopwasbythistimeacknowledged。Jeremiahhadmadeovertohersomuchofhisshareinthebusiness，thatshehadarighttobeconsideredasakindofpartner;andshehadlongbeenthesuperintendentofthatdepartmentofgoodswhichwereexclusivelydevotedtowomen。Soherdailypresencewasrequisiteformorereasonsthanone。
　　Yethermother'shealthandspiritsweresuchastorenderitunadvisablethattheoldwomanshouldbetoomuchleftalone;andSylvia'sdevotiontoherownmotherseemedtopointheroutastheverypersonwhocouldbeagentleandtendercompaniontoAliceRoseduringthosehourswhenherowndaughterwouldnecessarilybeengagedintheshop。
　　ManydesirableobjectsseemedtobegainedbythisremovalofAlice:
　　anoccupationwasprovidedforSylvia，whichwoulddetainherintheplacewhereherhusbandhadlefther，andwhere（JeremiahFosterfairlyexpectedinspiteofhisletter）hewaslikelytocomebacktofindher;andAliceRose，theearlyloveofoneofthebrothers，theoldfriendoftheother，wouldbewellcaredfor，andunderherdaughter'simmediatesupervisionduringthewholeofthetimethatshewasoccupiedintheshop。
　　Philip'sshareofthebusiness，augmentedbythemoneywhichhehadputinfromthelegacyofhisoldCumberlanduncle，wouldbringinprofitsenoughtosupportSylviaandherchildineaseandcomfortuntilthattime，whichtheyallanticipated，whenheshouldreturnfromhismysteriouswandering——mysterious，whetherhisgoingforthhadbeenvoluntaryorinvoluntary。
　　Thusfarwassettled;andJeremiahFosterwenttotellSylviaoftheplan。
　　Shewastoomuchachild，tooentirelyunaccustomedtoanyindependenceofaction，todoanythingbutleaveherselfinhishands。Herveryconfession，madetohimthedaybefore，whenshesoughthiscounsel，seemedtoplaceherathisdisposal。Otherwise，shehadhadnotionsofthepossibilityofafreecountrylifeoncemore——howprovidedforandarrangedshehardlyknew;butHaytersbankwastolet，andKesterdisengaged，andithadjustseemedpossiblethatshemighthavetoreturntoherearlyhome，andtoheroldlife。Sheknewthatitwouldtakemuchmoneytostockthefarmagain，andthatherhandsweretiedfrommuchusefulactivitybytheloveandcaresheowedtoherbaby。Butstill，somehow，shehopedandshefancied，tillJeremiahFoster'smeasuredwordsandcarefully—arrangedplanmadehersilentlyrelinquishhergreen，breezyvision。
　　Hester，too，hadherownprivaterebellion——hushedintosubmissionbyhergentlepiety。IfSylviahadbeenabletomakePhiliphappy，Hestercouldhavefeltlovinglyandalmostgratefullytowardsher;butSylviahadfailedinthis。
　　Philiphadbeenmadeunhappy，andwasdrivenforthawandererintothewideworld——nevertocomeback！AndhislastwordstoHester，thepostscriptofhisletter，containingtheverypithofit，wastoaskhertotakechargeandcareofthewifewhosewantoflovetowardshimhaduprootedhimfromtheplacewherehewasvaluedandhonoured。
　　ItcostHestermanyastruggleandmanyaself—reproachbeforeshecouldmakeherselffeelwhatshesawallalong——thatineverythingPhiliptreatedherlikeasister。Butevenasistermightwellbeindignantifshesawherbrother'slovedisregardedandslighted，andhislifeembitteredbythethoughtlessconductofawife！StillHesterfoughtagainstherself，andforPhilip'ssakeshesoughttoseethegoodinSylvia，andshestrovetoloveheraswellastotakecareofher。
　　Withthebaby，ofcourse，thecasewasdifferent。Withoutthoughtorstruggle，orreason，everyonelovedthelittlegirl。Coulsonandhisbuxomwife，whowerechildless，wereneverwearyofmakingmuchofher。Hester'shappiesthourswerespentwiththatlittlechild。JeremiahFosteralmostlookeduponherashisownfromthedaywhenshehonouredhimbyyieldingtothetemptationofthechainandseal，andcomingtohisknee;notacustomertotheshopbutknewthesmilingchild'ssadhistory，andmanyacountry—womanwouldsavearosy—cheekedapplefromoutherstorethatautumntobringitonnextmarket—dayfor'PhilipHepburn'sbaby，ashadlostitsfather，blessit。'
　　EvensternAliceRosewasgraciouslyinclinedtowardsthelittleBella;
　　andthoughherideaofthenumberoftheelectwasgrowingnarrowerandnarrowereveryday，shewouldhavebeenlothtoexcludetheinnocentlittlechild，thatstrokedherwrinkledcheekssosoftlyeverynightinreturnforherblessing，fromthefewthatshouldbesaved。Nay，forthechild'ssake，sherelentedtowardsthemother;andstrovetohaveSylviarescuedfromthemanycastawayswithferventprayer，or，asshephrasedit，'wrestlingwiththeLord。'
　　Alicehadasortofinstinctthatthelittlechild，sotenderlylovedby，sofondlyloving，themotherwhoseewe—lambshewas，couldnotbeeveninheavenwithoutyearningforthecreatureshehadlovedbestonearth;
　　andtheoldwomanbelievedthatthiswastheprincipalreasonforherprayersforSylvia;butunconsciouslytoherself，AliceRosewastouchedbythefilialattentionssheconstantlyreceivedfromtheyoungmother，whomshebelievedtobeforedoomedtocondemnation。
　　Sylviararelywenttochurchorchapel，nordidshereadherBible;
　　forthoughshespokelittleofherignorance，andwouldfain，forherchild'ssake，haveremedieditnowitwastoolate，shehadlostwhatlittlefluencyofreadingshehadeverhad，andcouldonlymakeoutherwordswithmuchspellinganddifficulty。SothetakingherBibleinhandwouldhavebeenamereform;thoughofthisAliceRoseknewnothing。
　　NooneknewmuchofwhatwaspassinginSylvia;shedidnotknowherself。
　　Sometimesinthenightsshewouldwaken，crying，withaterriblesenseofdesolation;everyonewholovedher，orwhomshehadloved，hadvanishedoutofherlife;everyonebutherchild，wholayinherarms，warmandsoft。
　　ButthenJeremiahFoster'swordscameuponher;wordsthatshehadtakenforcursingatthetime;andshewouldsogladlyhavehadsomecluebywhichtopenetratethedarknessoftheunknownregionfromwhencebothblessingandcursingcame，andtoknowifshehadindeeddonesomethingwhichshouldcausehersintobevisitedonthatsoft，sweet，innocentdarling。
　　Ifanyonewouldteachhertoread！Ifanyonewouldexplaintoherthehardwordssheheardinchurchorchapel，sothatshemightfindoutthemeaningofsinandgodliness！——wordsthathadonlypassedoverthesurfaceofhermindtillnow！Forherchild'ssakesheshouldliketodothewillofGod，ifsheonlyknewwhatthatwas，andhowtobeworkedoutinherdailylife。
　　Buttherewasnooneshedaredconfessherignorancetoandaskinformationfrom。JeremiahFosterhadspokenasifherchild，sweetlittlemerryBella，withalovingwordandakissforeveryone，wastosufferheavilyforthejustandtruewordsherwrongedandindignantmotherhadspoken。Alicealwaysspokeasiftherewerenohopeforher;andblamedher，nevertheless，fornotusingthemeansofgracethatitwasnotinherpowertoavailherselfof。
　　AndHester，thatSylviawouldfainhavelovedforheruniformgentlenessandpatiencewithallaroundher，seemedsocoldinherunruffledandundemonstrativebehaviour;andmoreover，SylviafeltthatHesterblamedherperpetualsilenceregardingPhilip'sabsencewithoutknowinghowbitteracauseSylviahadforcastinghimoff。
　　TheonlypersonwhoseemedtohavepityuponherwasKester;andhispitywasshowninlooksratherthanwords;forwhenhecametoseeher，whichhedidfromtimetotime，byakindofmutualtacitconsent，theyspokebutlittleofformerdays。
　　Hewasstilllodgingwithhissister，widowMoore，workingatoddjobs，someofwhichtookhimintothecountryforweeksatatime。ButonhisreturnstoMonkshavenhewassuretocomeandseeherandthelittleBella;
　　indeed，whenhisemploymentwasintheimmediateneighbourhoodofthetown，heneverallowedaweektopassawaywithoutavisit。
　　TherewasnotmuchconversationbetweenhimandSylviaatsuchtimes。
　　Theyskimmedoverthesurfaceofthesmalleventsinwhichbothtookaninterest;onlynowandthenasuddenglance，acheckedspeech，toldeachthatthereweredeepsnotforgotten，althoughtheywerenevermentioned。
　　TwiceSylvia——belowherbreath——hadaskedKester，justasshewasholdingthedooropenforhisdeparture，ifanythinghadeverbeenheardofKinraidsincehisonenight'svisittoMonkshaven:eachtime（andtherewasanintervalofsomemonthsbetweentheinquiries）theanswerhadbeensimply，no。
　　TonooneelsewouldSylviaeverhavenamedhisname。Butindeedshehadnotthechance，hadshewishediteversomuch，ofaskinganyquestionsabouthimfromanyonelikelytoknow。TheCorneyshadleftMossBrowatMartinmas，andgonemanymilesawaytowardsHorncastle。BessyCorney，itistruewasmarriedandleftbehindintheneighbourhood;butwithherSylviahadneverbeenintimate;andwhatgirlishfriendshiptheremighthavebeenbetweenthemhadcooledverymuchatthetimeofKinraid'ssupposeddeaththreeyearsbefore。
　　OnedaybeforeChristmasinthisyear，1798，SylviawascalledintotheshopbyCoulson，who，withhisassistantwasbusyundoingthebalesofwintergoodssuppliedtothemfromtheWestRiding，andotherplaces。
　　HewaslookingatafineIrishpoplindress—piecewhenSylviaansweredtohiscall。
　　'Here！doyouknowthisagain？'askedhe，inthecheerfultoneofonesureofgivingpleasure。
　　'No！haveIiverseenitafore？'
　　'Notthis，butoneforallt'worldlikeit。'
　　Shedidnotrouseuptomuchinterest，butlookedatitasiftryingtorecollectwhereshecouldhaveseenitslike。
　　'Mymissushadoneonatth'partyatJohnFoster'slastMarch，andyo'admireditadeal。AndPhilip，hethoughto'nothingbuthowhecouldgetyo'justsuchanother，andhesetavasto'folkagaitfortomeetwi'itsmarrow;andwhathedidjusttheverydayaforehewentawaysomysteriouswastowritethroughDawsonBrothers，o'Wakefield，toDublin，andorderthatoneshouldbewovenforyo'。Jemimahadtocutabitoffhersfortogivehimt'exactcolour。'
　　Sylviadidnotsayanythingbutthatitwasverypretty，inalowvoice，andthenshequicklylefttheshop，muchtoCoulson'sdispleasure。
　　Alltheafternoonshewasunusuallyquietanddepressed。
　　AliceRose，sittinghelplessinherchair，watchedherwithkeeneyes。
　　Atlength，afteroneofSylvia'sdeep，unconscioussighs，theoldwomanspoke:
　　'It'sreligionasmustcomfortthee，child，asit'sdonemanyaoneaforethee。'
　　'How？'saidSylvia，lookingup，startledtofindherselfanobjectofnotice。
　　'How？'（Theanswerwasnotquitesoreadyastheprecepthadbeen。）
　　'ReadthyBible，andthouwiltlearn。'
　　'ButIcannotread，'saidSylvia，toodesperateanylongertoconcealherignorance。
　　'Notread！andtheePhilip'swifeaswassuchagreatscholar！Ofasuretythewayso'thislifearecrooked！TherewasourHester，ascanreadaswellasanyminister，andPhilippassesoverhertogoandchooseayounglassascannotreadherBible。'
　　'WasPhilipandHester————'
　　Sylviapaused，forthoughanewcuriosityhaddawneduponher，shedidnotknowhowtowordherquestion。
　　'ManyatimeandofthaveIseenHestertakecomfortinherBiblewhenPhilipwasfollowingafterthee。Sheknewwheretogoforconsolation。'
　　'I'dfainread，'saidSylvia，humbly，'ifanybodywouldlearnme;forperhapsitmightdomegood;I'mnoanesohappy。'
　　Hereyes，asshelookedupatAlice'ssterncountenance，werefulloftears。
　　Theoldwomansawit，andwastouched，althoughshedidnotimmediatelyshowhersympathy。Butshetookherowntime，andmadenoreply。
　　Thenextday，however，shebadeSylviacometoher，andthenandthere，asifherpupilhadbeenalittlechild，shebegantoteachSylviatoreadthefirstchapterofGenesis;forallotherreadingbuttheScriptureswasasvanitytoher，andshewouldnotcondescendtotheweaknessofotherbooks。Sylviawasnow，asever，slowatbook—learning;butshewasmeekanddesiroustobetaught，andherwillingnessinthisrespectpleasedAlice，anddrewhersingularlytowardsonewho，frombeingapupil，mightbecomeaconvert。
　　AllthistimeSylvianeverlostthecuriositythathadbeenexcitedbythefewwordsAlicehadletdropaboutHesterandPhilip，andbydegreessheapproachedthesubjectagain，andhadtheideathenstartedconfirmedbyAlice，whohadnoscrupleinusingthepastexperienceofherown，ofherdaughter's，orofanyone'slife，asaninstrumenttoprovethevanityofsettingtheheartonanythingearthly。
　　Thisknowledge，unsuspectedbefore，sankdeepintoSylvia'sthoughts，andgaveherastrangeinterestinHester——poorHester，whoselifeshehadsocrossedandblighted，evenbytheveryblightingofherown。ShegaveHesterherownformerpassionatefeelingsforKinraid，andwonderedhowsheherselfshouldhavefelttowardsanyonewhohadcomebetweenherandhim，andwiledhisloveaway。WhensherememberedHester'sunfailingsweetnessandkindnesstowardsherselffromtheveryfirst，shecouldbetterbearthecomparativecoldnessofherpresentbehaviour。
　　Shetried，indeed，hardtowinbackthefavourshehadlost;buttheverymeansshetookwereblunders，andonlymadeitseemtoherasifshecouldneveragaindorightinHester'seyes。
　　Forinstance，shebeggedhertoacceptandweartheprettypoplingownwhichhadbeenPhilip'sespecialchoice;feelingwithinherselfasifsheshouldneverwishtoputiton，andasifthebestthingshecoulddowithitwastoofferittoHester。ButHesterrejectedtheprofferedgiftwithasmuchhardnessofmannerasshewascapableofassuming;andSylviahadtocarryitupstairsandlayitbyforthelittledaughter，who，Hestersaid，mightperhapslearntovaluethingsthatherfatherhadgivenespecialthoughtto。
　　YetSylviawentontryingtowinHestertolikeheroncemore;itwasoneofhergreatlabours，andlearningtoreadfromHester'smotherwasanother。
　　Alice，indeed，inhersolemnway，wasbecomingquitefondofSylvia;
　　ifshecouldnotreadorwrite，shehadadeftnessandgentlenessofmotion，acapacityforthehouseholdmatterswhichfellintoherdepartment，thathadagreateffectontheoldwoman，andforherdearmother'ssakeSylviahadastockofpatientlovereadyinherheartforalltheagedandinfirmthatfellinherway。Sheneverthoughtofseekingthemout，assheknewthatHesterdid;butthenshelookeduptoHesterassomeoneveryremarkableforhergoodness。Ifonlyshecouldhavelikedher！
　　HestertriedtodoallshecouldforSylvia;Philiphadtoldhertotakecareofhiswifeandchild;butshehadtheconvictionthatSylviahadsomateriallyfailedinherdutiesastohavemadeherhusbandanexilefromhishome——apennilesswanderer，wifelessandchildless，insomestrangecountry，whoseveryaspectwasfriendless，whilethecauseofalllivedoninthecomfortablehomewherehehadplacedher，wantingfornothing——anobjectofinterestandregardtomanyfriends——withalovelylittlechildtogiveherjoyforthepresent，andhopeforthefuture;whilehe，thepooroutcast，mightevenliedeadbythewayside。HowcouldHesterloveSylvia？
　　Yettheywerefrequentcompanionsthatensuingspring。Hesterwasnotwell;andthedoctorssaidthattheconstantoccupationintheshopwastoomuchforher，andthatshemust，foratimeatleast，takedailywalksintothecountry。
　　Sylviausedtobegtoaccompanyher;sheandthelittlegirloftenwentwithHesterupthevalleyoftherivertosomeofthenestlingfarmsthatwerehiddeninthemoreshelterednooks——forHesterwasbiddentodrinkmilkwarmfromthecow;andtogointothefamiliarhauntsaboutafarmwasoneofthefewthingsinwhichSylviaseemedtotakemuchpleasure。
　　ShewouldletlittleBellatoddleaboutwhileHestersateandrested:andsheherselfwouldbegtomilkthecowdestinedtogivetheinvalidherdraught。
　　OneMayeveningthethreehadbeenoutonsomesuchexpedition;thecountrysidestilllookedgrayandbare，thoughtheleaveswereshowingonthewillowandblackthornandsloe，andbythetinklingrunnels，makinghiddenmusicalongthecopseside，thepaledelicateprimrosebudswereshowingamidtheirfresh，green，crinkledleaves。Thelarkshadbeensingingalltheafternoon，butwerenowdroppingdownintotheirnestsinthepasturefields;theairhadjustthesharpnessinitwhichgoesalongwithacloudlesseveningskyatthattimeoftheyear。
　　ButHesterwalkedhomewardsslowlyandlanguidly，speakingnoword。
　　Sylvianoticedthisatfirstwithoutventuringtospeak，forHesterwasonewhodislikedhavingherailmentsnoticed。ButafterawhileHesterstoodstillinasortofwearydreamyabstraction;andSylviasaidtoher，'I'mafearedyo'resadlytired。Maybewe'vebeentoofar。'
　　Hesteralmoststarted。
　　'No！'saidshe，'it'sonlymyheadachewhichisworseto—night。Ithasbeenbadallday;butsinceIcameoutithasfeltjustasifthereweregreatgunsbooming，tillIcouldalmostpray'emtobequiet。Iamsowearyo'th'sound。'
　　Shesteppedoutquicklytowardshomeaftershehadsaidthis，asifshewishedforneitherpitynorcommentonwhatshehadsaid。
　　chapter38CHAPTERXXXVIIITHERECOGNITIONFaraway，overseaandland，oversunnyseaagain，greatgunswereboomingonthat7thofMay，1799。
　　TheMediterraneancameupwithalongroaronabeachglitteringwhitewithsnowysand，andthefragmentsofinnumerablesea—shells，delicateandshiningasporcelain。Lookingatthatshorefromthesea，alongridgeofuplandground，beginningfromaninlanddepth，stretchedfarawayintotheoceanontheright，tillitendedinagreatmountainousbluff，crownedwiththewhitebuildingsofaconventslopingrapidlydownintothebluewateratitsbase。