Ifhewereledawaybyaprettyfacetoslightoneaswasfitterforhim，andwhohadlovedhimastheappleofhereye，it'shimasissufferingforit，inasmuchashe'sawandererfromhishome，andanoutcastfromwifeandchild。'Tothesurpriseofall，Molly'swordsofreplywerecutshortevenwhentheywereonherlips，bySylvia。Pale，fire—eyed，andexcited，withPhilip'schildononearm，andtheotherstretchedout，shesaid，——'Noanecantell——noaneknow。Nooneshallspeakajudgment'twixtPhilipandme。Heactedcruelandwrongbyme。ButI'vesaidmywordstohimhissel'，andI'mnoanegoingtomakeanyplainttoothers;onlythemasknowsshouldjudge。Andit'snotfitting，it'snot'（almostsobbing），'togoonwi'
　　talklikethisaforeme。'Thetwo——forHester，whowasawarethatherpresencehadonlybeendesiredbySylviaasachecktoanunpleasanttete—a—teteconversation，hadslippedbacktoherbusinessassoonashermothercamein——thetwolookedwithsurpriseatSylvia;herwords，herwholemanner，belongedtoaphaseofhercharacterwhichseldomcameuppermost，andwhichhadnotbeenperceivedbyeitherofthembefore。AliceRose，thoughastonished，ratherapprovedofSylvia'sspeech;itshowedthatshehadmoreseriousthoughtandfeelingonthesubjectthantheoldwomanhadgivenhercreditfor;hergeneralsilencerespectingherhusband'sdisappearancehadledAlicetothinkthatshewastoochildishtohavereceivedanydeepimpressionfromtheevent。MollyBruntongaveventtoheropiniononSylvia'sspeechinthefollowingwords:——'Hoighty—toighty！Thattellstales，lass。Ifyo'treatedsteadyPhiliptomanysuchlooksan'speechesasyo'ngivenusnow，it'seasyt'seewhyhetookhisselfoff。Why，Sylvia，Iniversawitinyo'whenyo'wasagirl;yo'regrownintoaregularlittlevixen，theerewheereyo'stand！'Indeedshedidlookdefiant，withtheswiftcolourflushinghercheekstocrimsononitsreturn，andthefireinhereyesnotyetdiedaway。ButatMolly'sjestingwordsshesankbackintoherusuallookandmanner，onlysayingquietly，——'It'sfornoanetosaywhetherI'mvixenornot，asdoesn'tknowth'pastthingsasisburiedinmyheart。ButIcannotholdthemasmyfriendsasgoontalkingoneithermyhusbandormebeforemyveryface。Whathewas，Iknow;andwhatIam，Ireckonheknows。AndnowI'llgohurrytea，foryo'llbeneedingit，Molly！'Thelastclauseofthisspeechwasmeanttomakepeace;butMollywasintwentymindsastowhethersheshouldaccepttheolive—branchornot。Hertemper，however，wasofthatobtusekindwhichisnoteasilyruffled;hermind，stagnantinitself，enjoyedexcitementfromwithout;andherappetitewasinvariablygood，soshestayed，inspiteoftheinevitabletete—a—tetewithAlice。Thelatter，however，refusedtobedrawnintoconversationagain;replyingtoMrsBrunton'sspeecheswithacurtyesorno，when，indeed，sherepliedatall。Whenallweregatheredattea，Sylviawasquitecalmagain;ratherpalerthanusual，andveryattentiveandsubducedinherbehaviourtoAlice;
　　shewouldevidentlyfainhavebeensilent，butasMollywasherownespecialguest，thatcouldnotbe，soallherendeavourswenttowardssteeringtheconversationawayfromanyawkwardpoints。Buteachofthefour，letalonelittleBella，wasthankfulwhenthemarket—cartdrewupattheshop—door，thatwastotakeMrsBruntonbacktohersister'shouse。Whenshewasfairlyoff，AliceRoseopenedhermouthinstrongcondemnation;
　　windingupwith——'Andifaughtinmywordsgavetheecauseforoffence，Sylvia，itwasbecausemyheartrosewithinmeatthekindoftalktheeandshehadbeenhavingaboutPhilip;andherevilandlight—mindedcounseltotheeaboutwaitingsevenyears，andthenweddinganother。'Hardasthesewordsmayseemwhenrepeated，therewassomethingofanearerapproachtoanapologyinMrsRose'smannerthanSylviahadeverseeninitbefore。Shewassilentforafewmoments，thenshesaid，——'Iha'oftenthoughtoftellingyo'andHester，special—like，whenyo'vebeensokindtomylittleBella，thatPhilipan'mecouldnivercometogetheragain;no，notifhecamehomethisverynight————'Shewouldhavegoneonspeaking，butHesterinterruptedherwithalowcryofdismay。Alicesaid，——'Hushthee，Hester。It'snobusinesso'thine。SylviaHepburn，thou'rtspeakinglikeasillychild。''No。I'mspeakinglikeawoman;likeawomanasfindsoutshe'sbeencheatedbymenasshetrusted，andashasnohelpforit。I'mnoanegoingtosayanymoreaboutit。It'smeashasbeenwronged，andashastobearit:
　　onlyIthoughtI'dtellyo'boththismuch，thatyo'mightknowsomewhatwhyhewentaway，andhowIsaidmylastwordaboutit。'Soindeeditseemed。ToallquestionsandremonstrancesfromAlice，Sylviaturnedadeafear。SheavertedherfacefromHester'ssad，wistfullooks;
　　onlywhentheywerepartingforthenight，atthetopofthelittlestaircase，sheturned，andputtingherarmsroundHester'sneckshelaidherheadonherneck，andwhispered，——'PoorHester——poor，poorHester！ifyo'an'hehadbutbeenmarriedtogether，whatadealo'sorrowwouldha'beensparedtousall！'Hesterpushedherawayasshefinishedthesewords;lookedsearchinglyintoherface，hereyes，andthenfollowedSylviaintoherroom，whereBellalaysleeping，shutthedoor，andalmostkneltdownatSylvia'sfeet，claspingher，andhidingherfaceinthefoldsoftheother'sgown。'Sylvia，Sylvia，'shemurmured，'someonehastoldyou——Ithoughtnooneknew——it'snosin——it'sdoneawaywithnow——indeeditis——itwaslongago——beforeyo'weremarried;butIcannotforget。Itwasashame，perhaps，tohavethoughtonitiver，whenheniverthoughto'me;butIniverbelievedasanyonecouldha'founditout。I'mjustfittosinkintot'ground，whatwi'mysorrowandmyshame。'Hesterwasstoppedbyherownrisingsobs，immediatelyshewasinSylvia'sarms。Sylviawassittingonthegroundholdingher，andsoothingherwithcaressesandbrokenwords。'I'mallayssayingt'wrongthings，'saidshe。'ItseemsasifIwereallupsetto—day;andindeedIam;'sheadded，alludingtothenewsofKinraid'smarriageshehadyettothinkupon。'Butitwasn'tyo'，Hester:itwerenothingyo'iversaid，ordid，orlooked，forthatmatter。Itwereyo'rmotherasletitout。''Oh，mother！mother！'wailedoutHester;'IniverthoughtasanyonebutGodwouldha'knownthatIhadiverforadaythoughtonhisbeingmoretomethanabrother。'Sylviamadenoreply，onlywentonstrokingHester'ssmoothbrownhair，offwhichhercaphadfallen。Sylviawasthinkinghowstrangelifewas，andhowloveseemedtogoallatcrosspurposes;andwaslosingherselfinbewildermentatthemysteryoftheworld;shewasalmoststartledwhenHesterroseup，andtakingSylvia'shandsinbothofhers，andlookingsolemnlyather，said，——'Sylvia，yo'knowwhathasbeenmytroubleandmyshame，andI'msureyo'resorryforme——forIwillhumblemyselftoyo'，andownthatformanymonthsbeforeyo'weremarried，Ifeltmydisappointmentlikeaheavyburdenlaidonmebydayandbynight;butnowIaskyo'，ifyo'veanypityformeforwhatIwentthrough，orifyo'veanyloveformebecauseofyo'rdeadmother'sloveforme，orbecauseofanyfellowship，ordailybreadlinessbetweenustwo，——putthehardthoughtsofPhilipawayfromoutyo'rheart;
　　hemayha'doneyo'wrong，anywayyo'thinkthathehas;Iniverknewhimaughtbutkindandgood;butifhecomesbackfromwheriverinth'wideworldhe'sgoneto（andthere'snotanightbutIprayGodtokeephim，andsendhimsafeback），yo'putawaythememoryofpastinjury，andforgiveitall，andbe，whatyo'canbe，Sylvia，ifyou'veamindto，justthekind，goodwifeheoughttohave。''Icannot;yo'knownothingaboutit，Hester。''Tellme，then，'pleadedHester。'No！'saidSylvia，afteramoment'shesitation;'I'ddoadealforyo'，Iwould，butIdaren'tforgivePhilip，evenifIcould;Itookagreatoathagain'him。Ay，yo'maylookshockedatme，butit'shimasyo'oughtfortobeshockedatifyo'knewall。IsaidI'dniverforgivehim;Ishallkeeptomyword。''IthinkI'dbetterprayforhisdeath，then，'saidHester，hopelessly，andalmostbitterly，loosingherholdofSylvia'shands。'Ifitweren'tforbabytheere，Icouldthinkasitweremydeathas'udbebest。Themasonethinkst'moston，forgetsonesoonest。'ItwasKinraidtowhomshewasalluding;butHesterdidnotunderstandher;andafterstandingforamomentinsilence，shekissedher，andleftherforthenight。
　　chapter40CHAPTERXLANUNEXPECTEDMESSENGERAfterthisagitation，andthesepartialconfidences，nomorewassaidonthesubjectofPhilipformanyweeks。Theyavoidedeventheslightestallusiontohim;andnoneofthemknewhowseldomorhowoftenhemightbepresentinthemindsoftheothers。OnedaythelittleBellawasunusuallyfractiouswithsomeslightchildishindisposition，andSylviawasobligedtohaverecoursetoanever—failingpieceofamusement;namely，totakethechildintotheshop，whenthenumberofnew，bright—colouredarticleswassuretobeguilethelittlegirloutofherfretfulness。Shewaswalkingalongthehighterraceofthecounter，keptsteadybyhermother'shand，whenMrDawson'smarket—cartoncemorestoppedbeforethedoor。ButitwasnotMrsBruntonwhoalightednow;itwasaverysmartly—dressed，veryprettyyounglady，whoputonedaintyfootbeforetheotherwithcare，asifdescendingfromsuchaprimitivevehiclewereanewoccurrenceinherlife。Thenshelookedupatthenamesabovetheshop—door，andafterascertainingthatthiswasindeedtheplaceshedesiredtofind，shecameinblushing。'IsMrsHepburnathome？'sheaskedofHester，whosepositionintheshopbroughtherforwardstoreceivethecustomers，whileSylviadrewBellaoutofsightbehindsomegreatbalesofredflannel。'CanIseeher？'thesweet，south—countryvoicewenton，stilladdressingHester。Sylviaheardtheinquiry，andcameforwards，withalittlerusticawkwardness，feelingbothshyandcurious。'Willyo'pleasewalkthisway，ma'am？'saidshe，leadinghervisitorbackintoherowndominionoftheparlour，andleavingBellatoHester'swillingcare。'Youdon'tknowme！'saidtheprettyyounglady，joyously。'ButIthinkyouknewmyhusband。IamMrsKinraid！'AsobofsurpriserosetoSylvia'slips——shechokeditdown，however，andtriedtoconcealanyemotionshemightfeel，inplacingachairforhervisitor，andtryingtomakeherfeelwelcome，although，ifthetruthmustbetold，Sylviawaswonderingallthetimewhyhervisitorcame，andhowsoonshewouldgo。'YouknewCaptainKinraid，didyounot？'saidtheyounglady，withinnocentinquiry;towhichSylvia'slipsformedtheanswer，'Yes，'butnoclearsoundissuedtherefrom。'ButIknowyourhusbandknewthecaptain;isheathomeyet？CanIspeaktohim？Idosowanttoseehim。'Sylviawasutterlybewildered;MrsKinraid，thispretty，joyous，prosperouslittlebirdofawoman，Philip，Charley'swife，whatcouldtheyhaveincommon？whatcouldtheyknowofeachother？AllshecouldsayinanswertoMrsKinraid'seagerquestions，andstillmoreeagerlooks，was，thatherhusbandwasfromhome，hadbeenlongfromhome:shedidnotknowwherehewas，shedidnotknowwhenhewouldcomeback。MrsKinraid'sfacefellalittle，partlyfromherownrealdisappointment，partlyoutofsympathywiththehopeless，indifferenttoneofSylvia'sreplies。'MrsDawsontoldmehehadgoneawayrathersuddenlyayearago，butI
　　thoughthemightbecomehomebynow。Iamexpectingthecaptainearlynextmonth。Oh！howIshouldhavelikedtoseeMrHepburn，andtothankhimforsavingthecaptain'slife！''Whatdoyo'mean？'askedSylvia，stirredoutofallassumedindifference。
　　'Thecaptain！isthat'（not'Charley，'shecouldnotusethatfamiliarnametotheprettyyoungwifebeforeher）'yo'rhusband？''Yes，youknewhim，didn'tyou？whenheusedtobestayingwithMrCorney，hisuncle？''Yes，Iknewhim;butIdon't。understand。Willyo'pleasetotellmeallaboutit，ma'am？'saidSylvia，faintly。'Ithoughtyourhusbandwouldhavetoldyouallaboutit;Ihardlyknowwheretobegin。Youknowmyhusbandisasailor？'Sylvianoddedassent，listeninggreedily，herheartbeatingthickallthetime。'Andhe'snowaCommanderintheRoyalNavy，allearnedbyhisownbravery！
　　Oh！Iamsoproudofhim！'SocouldSylviahavebeenifshehadbeenhiswife;asitwas，shethoughthowoftenshehadfeltsurethathewouldbeagreatmansomeday。'AndhehasbeenatthesiegeofAcre。'Sylvialookedperplexedatthesestrangewords，andMrsKinraidcaughtthelook。'St。Jeand'Acre，youknow——thoughit'sfinesaying"youknow，"whenI
　　didn'tknowabitaboutitmyselftillthecaptain'sshipwasorderedthere，thoughIwastheheadgirlatMissDobbin'sinthegeographyclass——Acreisaseaporttown，notfarfromJaffa，whichisthemodernnameforJoppa，whereSt。Paulwenttolongago;you'vereadofthat，I'msure，andMountCarmel，wheretheprophetElijahwasonce，allinPalestine，youknow，onlytheTurkshavegotitnow？''ButIdon'tunderstandyet，'saidSylvia，plaintively;'Idaresayit'sallverytrueaboutSt。Paul，butplease，ma'am，willyo'tellmeaboutyo'rhusbandandmine——havetheymetagain？''Yes，atAcre，Itellyou，'saidMrsKinraid，withprettypetulance。'TheTurksheldthetown，andtheFrenchwantedtotakeit;andwe，thatistheBritishFleet，wouldn'tletthem。SoSirSidneySmith，acommodoreandagreatfriendofthecaptain's，landedinordertofighttheFrench;
　　andthecaptainandmanyofthesailorslandedwithhim;anditwasburninghot;andthepoorcaptainwaswounded，andlaya—dyingofpainandthirstwithintheenemy's——thatistheFrench——fire;sothattheywerereadytoshootanyoneofhisownsidewhocamenearhim。Theythoughthewasdeadhimself，yousee，ashewasverynear;andwouldhavebeentoo，ifyourhusbandhadnotcomeoutofshelter，andtakenhimupinhisarmsoronhisback（Icouldn'tmakeoutwhich），andcarriedhimsafewithinthewalls。''Itcouldn'thavebeenPhilip，'saidSylvia，dubiously。'Butitwas。Thecaptainsaysso;andhe'snotamantobemistaken。I
　　thoughtI'dgothisletterwithme;andIwouldhavereadyouapartofit，butIleftitatMrsDawson'sinmydesk;andIcan'tsendittoyou，'
　　blushingassherememberedcertainpassagesinwhich'thecaptain'wroteverymuchlikealover，'orelseIwould。Butyoumaybequitesureitwasyourhusbandthatventuredintoallthatdangertosavehisoldfriend'slife，orthecaptainwouldnothavesaidso。''Buttheyweren't——theyweren't——nottocallgreatfriends。''IwishI'dgottheletterhere;Ican'tthinkhowIcouldbesostupid;
　　IthinkIcanalmostremembertheverywords，though——I'vereadthemoversooften。Hesays，"JustasIgaveupallhope，IsawonePhilipHepburn，amanwhomIhadknownatMonkshaven，andwhomIhadsomereasontorememberwell"——（I'msurehesaysso——"rememberwell"），"hesawmetoo，andcameattheriskofhislifetowhereIlay。Ifullyexpectedhewouldbeshotdown;andIshutmyeyesnottoseetheendofmylastchance。Theshotrainedabouthim，andIthinkhewashit;buthetookmeupandcarriedmeundercover。"I'msurehesaysthat，I'vereaditoversooften;andhegoesonandsayshowhehuntedforMrHepburnallthroughtheships，assoonaseverhecould;buthecouldhearnothingofhim，eitheraliveordead。Don'tgosowhite，forpity'ssake！'saidshe，suddenlystartledbySylvia'sblanchingcolour。'Yousee，becausehecouldn'tfindhimaliveisnoreasonforgivinghimupasdead;becausehisnamewasn'ttobefoundonanyoftheships'books;sothecaptainthinkshemusthavebeenknownbyadifferentnametohisrealone。Onlyhesaysheshouldliketohaveseenhimtohavethankedhim;andhesayshewouldgiveadealtoknowwhathasbecomeofhim;andasIwasstayingtwodaysatMrsDawson's，ItoldthemImustcomeovertoMonkshaven，ifonlyforfiveminutes，justtohearifyourgoodhusbandwascomehome，andtoshakehishands，thathelpedtosavemyowndearcaptain。''Idon'tthinkitcouldhavebeenPhilip，'reiteratedSylvia。'Whynot？'askedhervisitor;'yousayyoudon'tknowwhereheis;whymightn'thehavebeentherewherethecaptainsayshewas？''Buthewasn'tasailor，noryetasoldier。''Oh！buthewas。Ithinksomewherethecaptaincallshimamarine;that'sneitheronenortheother，butalittleofboth。He'llbecominghomesomedaysoon;andthenyou'llsee！'AliceRosecameinatthisminute，andMrsKinraidjumpedtotheconclusionthatshewasSylvia'smother，andinheroverflowinggratitudeandfriendlinesstoallthefamilyofhimwhohad'savedthecaptain'shewentforward，andshooktheoldwoman'shandinthatpleasantconfidingwaythatwinsallhearts。'Here'syourdaughter，ma'am！'saidshetothehalf—astonished，half—pleasedAlice。'I'mMrsKinraid，thewifeofthecaptainthatusedtobeintheseparts，andI'mcometobringhernewsofherhusband，andshedon'thalfbelieveme，thoughit'salltohiscredit，I'msure。'AlicelookedsoperplexedthatSylviafeltherselfboundtoexplain。'Shesayshe'seitherasoldierorasailor，andalongwayoffatsomeplacenamedint'Bible。''PhilipHepburnledawaytobeasoldier！'saidshe，'whohadoncebeenaQuaker？''Yes，andaverybraveonetoo，andonethatitwoulddomyheartgoodtolookupon，'exclaimedMrsKinraid。'He'sbeensavingmyhusband'slifeintheHolyLand，whereJerusalemis，youknow。''Nay！'saidAlice，alittlescornfully。'IcanforgiveSylviafornotbeingoverkeentocreditthynews。Hermanofpeacebecomingamanofwar;andsufferedtoenterJerusalem，whichisaheavenlyandatypicalcityatthistime;whileme，asisoneoftheelect，isobligedtogoondwellinginMonkshaven，justlikeanyotherbody。''Nay，but，'saidMrsKinraid，gently，seeingshewastouchingondelicateground，'IdidnotsayhehadgonetoJerusalem，butmyhusbandsawhiminthoseparts，andhewasdoinghisdutylikeabrave，goodman;ay，andmorethanhisduty;and，youmaytakemywordforit，he'llbeathomesomedaysoon，andallIbegisthatyou'llletthecaptainandmeknow，forI'msureifwecan，we'llbothcomeandpayourrespectstohim。AndI'mverygladI'veseenyou，'saidshe，risingtogo，andputtingoutherhandtoshakethatofSylvia;'for，besidesbeingHepburn'swife，I'mprettysureI'veheardthecaptainspeakofyou;andifeveryoucometoBristolIhopeyou'llcomeandseeusonCliftonDowns。'Shewentaway，leavingSylviaalmoststunnedbythenewideaspresentedtoher。Philipasoldier！Philipinabattle，riskinghislife。Moststrangeofall，CharleyandPhiliponcemoremeetingtogether，notasrivalsorasfoes，butassaviourandsaved！Addtoallthistheconviction，strengthenedbyeverywordthathappy，lovingwifehaduttered，thatKinraid'sold，passionateloveforherselfhadfadedawayandvanishedutterly:itsveryexistenceapparentlyblottedoutofhismemory。Shehadtornupherloveforhimbytheroots，butshefeltasifshecouldneverforgetthatithadbeen。HesterbroughtbackBellatohermother。Shehadnotlikedtointerrupttheconversationwiththestrangeladybefore;andnowshefoundhermotherinanobviousstateofexcitement;Sylviaquieterthanusual。'ThatwasKinraid'swife，Hester！Himthatwasth'specksioneerasmadesuchanoiseaboutt'placeatthetimeofDarley'sdeath。He'snowacaptain——anavycaptain，accordingtowhatshesays。Andshe'dfainhaveusbelievethatPhilipisabidinginallmannerofScriptureplaces;placesashasbeenlongdoneawaywith，butthesimilitudewhereofisintheheavens，wheretheelectshallonedayseethem。AndshesaysPhilipisthere，andasoldier，andthathesavedherhusband'slife，andiscominghomesoon。
　　IwonderwhatJohnandJeremiah'llsaytohissoldieringthen？It'llnoanebetotheirtaste，I'mthinking。'ThiswasallveryunintelligibletoHester，andshewoulddearlyhavelikedtoquestionSylvia;butSylviasatealittleapart，withBellaonherknee，hercheekrestingonherchild'sgoldencurls，andhereyesfixedandalmosttrance—like，asifshewereseeingthingsnotpresent。SoHesterhadtobecontentwithaskinghermotherasmanyelucidatoryquestionsasshecould;andafteralldidnotgainaveryclearideaofwhathadreallybeensaidbyMrsKinraid，ashermotherwasmorefulloftheapparentinjusticeofPhilip'sbeingallowedtheprivilegeoftreadingonholyground——if，indeed，thatholygroundexistedonthissideheaven，whichshewasinclinedtodispute——thantoconfineherselftotherepetitionofwords，ornarration'offacts。SuddenlySylviarousedherselftoasenseofHester'sdeepinterestandbalkedinquiries，andshewentoverthegroundrapidly。'Yo'rmothersaysright——sheishiswife。Andhe'sawayfighting;andgottooneart'Frenchaswasshootingandfiringallroundhim;andjustthen，accordingtoherstory，Philipsawhim，andwentstraightintot'midsto't'shots，andfetchedhimouto'danger。That'swhatshesays，andupholds。''Andwhyshoulditnotbe？'askedHester，hercheekflushing。ButSylviaonlyshookherhead，andsaid，'Icannottell。Itmaybeso。Butthey'dlittlecausetobefriends，anditseemsallsostrange——Philipasoldier，andthemmeetingtheereafterall！'HesterlaidthestoryofPhilip'sbraverytoherheart——shefullybelievedinit。Sylviapondereditmoredeeplystill;thecausesforherdisbelief，or，atanyrate，forherwonder，wereunknowntoHester！ManyatimeshesanktosleepwiththepictureoftheeventnarratedbyMrsKinraidaspresenttohermindasherimaginationorexperiencecouldmakeit:firstonefigureprominent，thenanother。Manyamorningshewakenedup，herheartbeatingwildly，why，sheknewnot，tillsheshudderedattheremembranceofthescenesthathadpassedinherdreams:scenesthatmightbeactedinrealitythatveryday;forPhilipmightcomeback，andthen？AndwherewasPhilipallthistime，thesemanyweeks，theseheavilypassingmonths？
　　chapter41CHAPTERXLITHEBEDESMANOFST。SEPULCHREPhiliplaylongillonboardthehospitalship。Ifhishearthadbeenlight，hemighthaveralliedsooner;buthewassodepressedhedidnotcaretolive。Hisshatteredjaw—bone，hisburntandblackenedface，hismanyinjuriesofbody，weretorturetobothhisphysicalframe，andhissick，wearyheart。
　　Nomorechanceforhim，ifindeedthereeverhadbeenany，ofreturninggayandgallant，andthusregaininghiswife'slove。Thishadbeenhispoor，foolishvisioninthefirsthourofhisenlistment;andthevaindreamhadrecurredmorethanonceinthefeverishstageofexcitementwhichthenewscenesintowhichhehadbeenhurriedasarecruithadcalledforth。
　　Butthatwasallovernow。Heknewthatitwasthemostunlikelythingintheworldtohavecometopass;andyetthosewerehappydayswhenhecouldthinkofitasbarelypossible。Nowallhecouldlookforwardtowasdisfigurement，feebleness，andthebarepittancethatkeepspensionersfromabsolutewant。Thosearoundhimwerekindenoughtohimintheirfashion，andattendedtohisbodilyrequirements;buttheyhadnonotionoflisteningtoanyrevelationsofunhappiness，ifPhiliphadbeenthemantomakeconfidencesofthatkind。Asitwas，helayverystillinhisberth，seldomaskingforanything，andalwayssayinghewasbetter，whentheship—surgeoncameroundwithhisdailyinquiries。Buthedidnotcaretorally，andwasrathersorrytofindthathiscasewasconsideredsointerestinginasurgicalpointofview，thathewaslikelytoreceiveagooddealmorethantheaverageamountofattention。Perhapsitwasowingtothisthatherecoveredatall。Thedoctorssaiditwastheheatthatmadehimlanguid，forthathiswoundsandburnswerealldoingwellatlast;andby—and—bytheytoldhimtheyhadorderedhim'home。'Hispulsesankunderthesurgeon'sfingeratthementionoftheword;buthedidnotsayaword。Hewastooindifferenttolifeandtheworldtohaveawill;otherwisetheymighthavekepttheirpetpatientalittlelongerwherehewas。Slowlypassingfromshiptoshipasoccasionserved;restinghereandthereingarrisonhospitals，PhilipatlengthreachedPortsmouthontheeveningofaSeptemberdayin1799。Thetransport—shipinwhichhewas，wasloadedwithwoundedandinvalidedsoldiersandsailors;allwhocouldmanageitinanywaystruggledondecktocatchthefirstviewofthewhitecoastsofEngland。Onemanliftedhisarm，tookoffhiscap，andfeeblywaveditaloft，crying，'OldEnglandforever！'inafaintshrillvoice，andthenburstintotearsandsobbedaloud。Otherstriedtopipeup'RuleBritannia，'
　　whilemoresate，weakandmotionless，lookingtowardstheshoresthatonce，notsolongago，theyneverthoughttoseeagain。Philipwasoneofthese;
　　hisplacealittleapartfromtheothermen。Hewasmuffledupinagreatmilitarycloakthathadbeengivenhimbyoneofhisofficers;hefelttheSeptemberbreezechillafterhissojourninawarmerclimate，andinhisshatteredstateofhealth。AstheshipcameinsightofPortsmouthharbour，thesignalflagsranuptheropes;thebelovedUnionJackfloatedtriumphantlyoverall。Returnsignalsweremadefromtheharbour;onboardallbecamebustleandpreparationforlanding;whileonshoretherewastheevidentmovementofexpectation，andmeninuniformwereseenpressingtheirwaytothefront，asiftothembelongedtherightofreception。Theywerethemenfromthebarrackhospital，thathadbeensignalledfor，comedownwithambulancelittersandothermarksoffore—thoughtforthesickandwounded，whowerereturningtothecountryforwhichtheyhadfoughtandsuffered。Withadashandagreatrockingswingthevesselcameuptoherappointedplace，andwassafelymoored。Philipsatstill，almostasifhehadnopartinthecriesofwelcome，thebustlingcare，thelouddirectionsthatcuttheairaroundhim，andpiercedhisnervesthroughandthrough。Butoneinauthoritygavetheorder;andPhilip，disciplinedtoobedience，rosetofindhisknapsackandleavetheship。Passiveasheseemedtobe，hehadhislikingsforparticularcomrades;therewasoneespecially，amanasdifferentfromPhilipaswellcouldbe，towhomthelatterhadalwaysattachedhimself;amerryfellowfromSomersetshire，whowasalmostalwayscheerfulandbright，thoughPhiliphadoverheardthedoctorssayhewouldneverbethemanhewasbeforehehadthatshotthroughtheside。Thismarinewouldoftensitmakinghisfellowslaugh，andlaughinghimselfathisowngood—humouredjokes，tillsoterribleafitofcoughingcameonthatthosearoundhimfearedhewoulddieintheparoxysm。Afteroneofthesefitshehadgaspedoutsomewords，whichledPhiliptoquestionhimalittle;anditturnedoutthatinthequietlittlevillageofPotterne，farinland，nestledbeneaththehighstretchesofSalisburyPlain，hehadawifeandachild，alittlegirl，justthesameageeventoaweekasPhilip'sownlittleBella。ItwasthisthatdrewPhiliptowardstheman;
　　andthisthatmadePhilipwaitandgoashorealongwiththepoorconsumptivemarine。Thelittershadmovedofftowardsthehospital，thesergeantinchargehadgivenhiswordsofcommandtotheremaininginvalids，whotriedtoobeythemtothebestoftheirpower，fallingintosomethinglikemilitaryorderfortheirmarch;butsoon，verysoon，theweakestbrokestep，andlaggedbehind;andfeltasiftheroughwelcomesandrudeexpressionsofsympathyfromthecrowdaroundwerealmosttoomuchforthem。Philipandhiscompanionwereaboutmidway，whensuddenlyayoungwomanwithachildinherarmsforcedherselfthroughthepeople，betweenthesoldierswhokeptpressingoneitherside，andthrewherselfontheneckofPhilip'sfriend。'Oh，Jem！'shesobbed，'I'vewalkedalltheroadfromPotterne。I'veneverstoppedbutforfoodandrestforNelly，andnowI'vegotyouonceagain，I'vegotyouonceagain，blessGodforit！'Shedidnotseemtoseethedeadlychangethathadcomeoverherhusbandsinceshepartedwithhimaruddyyounglabourer;shehadgothimonceagain，asshephrasedit，andthatwasenoughforher;shekissedhisface，hishands，hisverycoat，norwouldsheberepulsedfromwalkingbesidehimandholdinghishand，whileherlittlegirlranalongscaredbythevoicesandthestrangefaces，andclingingtohermammy'sgown。Jemcoughed，poorfellow！hecoughedhischurchyardcough;andPhilipbitterlyenviedhim——enviedhislife，enviedhisapproachingdeath;forwashenotwrappedroundwiththatwoman'stenderlove，andisnotsuchlovestrongerthandeath？Philiphadfeltasifhisownheartwasgrownnumb，andasthoughithadchangedtoacoldheavystone。Butatthecontrastofthisman'slottohisown，hefeltthathehadyetthepowerofsufferinglefttohim。Theroadtheyhadtogowasfullofpeople，keptoffinsomemeasurebytheguardofsoldiers。Allsortsofkindlyspeeches，andmanyacuriousquestion，wereaddressedtothepoorinvalidsastheywalkedalong。Philip'sjaw，andthelowerpartofhisface，werebandagedup;hiscapwassloucheddown;heheldhiscloakabouthim，andshiveredwithinitsfolds。Theycametoastandstillfromsomeslightobstacleatthecornerofastreet。Downthecausewayofthisstreetanavalofficerwithaladyonhisarmwaswalkingbriskly，withastepthattoldofhealthandalightheart。Hestayedhisprogressthough，whenhesawtheconvoyofmaimedandwoundedmen;hesaidsomething，ofwhichPhiliponlycaughtthewords，'sameuniform，''forhissake，'totheyounglady，whosecheekblanchedalittle，butwhoseeyeskindled。Thenleavingherforaninstant，hepressedforward;hewasclosetoPhilip，——poorsadPhilipabsorbedinhisownthoughts，——soabsorbedthathenoticednothingtillheheardavoiceathisear，havingtheNorthumbrianburr，theNewcastleinflectionswhichheknewofold，andthatweretohimlikethesickmemoryofadeadlyillness;andthenheturnedhismuffledfacetothespeaker，thoughheknewwellenoughwhoitwas，andavertedhiseyesafteronesightofthehandsome，happyman，——themanwhoselifehehadsavedonce，andwouldsaveagain，attheriskofhisown，butwhom，forallthat，heprayedthathemightnevermeetmoreonearth。'Here，myfinefellow，takethis，'forcingacrownpieceintoPhilip'shand。'Iwishitweremore;I'dgiveyouapoundifIhaditwithme。'Philipmutteredsomething，andheldoutthecointoCaptainKinraid，ofcourseinvain;norwastheretimetourgeitbackuponthegiver，fortheobstacletotheirprogresswassuddenlyremoved，thecrowdpresseduponthecaptainandhiswife，theprocessionmovedon，andPhilipalongwithit，holdingthepieceinhishand，andlongingtothrowitfaraway。
　　Indeedhewasonthepointofdroppingit，hopingtodosounperceived，whenhebethought'himofgivingittoJem'swife，thefootsorewoman，limpinghappilyalongbyherhusband'sside。Theythankedhim，andspokeinhispraisemorethanhecouldwellbear。Itwasnocredittohimtogivethatawaywhichburnedhisfingersaslongashekeptit。PhilipknewthattheinjurieshehadreceivedintheexplosiononboardtheTheseuswouldobligehimtoleavetheservice。Healsobelievedthattheywouldentitlehimtoapension。Buthehadlittleinterestinhisfuturelife;hewaswithouthope，andinadepressedstateofhealth。
　　Heremainedforsomelittletimestationary，andthenwentthroughalltheformsofdismissalonaccountofwoundsreceivedinservice，andwasturnedoutlooseupontheworld，uncertainwheretogo，indifferentastowhatbecameofhim。Itwasfine，warmOctoberweatherasheturnedhisbackuponthecoast，andsetoffonhiswalknorthwards。Greenleaveswereyetuponthetrees;
　　thehedgeswereoneflushoffoliageandthewildrough—flavouredfruitsofdifferentkinds;thefieldsweretawnywiththeuncleared—offstubble，oremeraldgreenwiththegrowthoftheaftermath。TheroadsidecottagegardensweregaywithhollyhocksandMichaelmasdaisiesandmarigolds，andthebrightpanesofthewindowsglitteredthroughaveilofChinaroses。Thewarwasapopularone，and，asanaturalconsequence，soldiersandsailorswereheroeseverywhere。Philip'slongdroopingform，hisarmhunginasling，hisfacescarredandblackened，hisjawboundupwithablacksilkhandkerchief;thesemarksofactiveservicewerereverencedbytherusticcottagersasthoughtheyhadbeencrownsandsceptres。Manyahard—handedlabourerlefthisseatbythechimneycorner，andcametohisdoortohavealookatonewhohadbeenfightingtheFrench，andpushedforwardtohaveagraspofthestranger'shandashegavebacktheemptycupintothegoodwife'skeeping，forthekindhomelywomenwereeverreadywithmilkorhomebrewedtoslakethefeverishtraveller'sthirstwhenhestoppedattheirdoorsandaskedforadrinkofwater。Atthevillagepublic—househehadhadawelcomeofamoreinterestedcharacter，forthelandlordknewfullwellthathiscircleofcustomerswouldbelargethatnight，ifitwasonlyknownthathehadwithinhisdoorsasoldierorasailorwhohadseenservice。TherusticpoliticianswouldgatherroundPhilip，andsmokeanddrink，andthenquestionanddiscusstilltheyweredrouthyagain;andintheirsturdyobtusemindstheysetdowntheextraglass，andthesupernumerarypipetothescoreofpatriotism。AltogetherhumannatureturneditssunnysideouttoPhilipjustnow;andnotbeforeheneededthewarmthofbrotherlykindnesstocheerhisshiveringsoul。Dayafterdayhedriftednorthwards，makingbuttheslowprogressofafeebleman，andyetthisshortdailywalktiredhimsomuchthathelongedforrest——forthemorningtocomewhenheneedednottofeelthatinthecourseofanhourortwohemustbeupandaway。Hewastoilingonwiththislongingathisheartwhenhesawthathewasdrawingnearastatelycity，withagreatoldcathedralinthecentrekeepingsolemnguard。Thisplacemightbeyettwoorthreemilesdistant;hewasonarisinggroundlookingdownuponit。Alabouringmanpassingby，observedhispallidlooksandhislanguidattitude，andtoldhimforhiscomfort，thatifheturneddownalanetotheleftafewstepsfartheron，hewouldfindhimselfattheHospitalofSt。Sepulchre，wherebreadandbeerweregiventoallcomers，andwherehemightsithimdownandrestawhileontheoldstonebencheswithintheshadowofthegateway。Obeyingthesedirections，PhilipcameuponabuildingwhichdatedfromthetimeofHenrytheFifth。