SometimesEsmondwouldthinktherewashope。Thenagainhewouldbeplaguedwithdespair，atsomeimpertinenceorcoquetryofhismistress。Fordaystheywouldbelikebrotherandsister，orthedearestfriends——she，simple，fond，andcharming——he，happybeyondmeasureathergoodbehavior。Butthiswouldallvanishonasudden。Eitherhewouldbetoopressing，andhinthislove，whenshewouldrebuffhiminstantly，andgivehisvanityaboxontheear;orhewouldbejealous，andwithperfectgoodreason，ofsomenewadmirerthathadsprungup，orsomerichyounggentlemannewlyarrivedinthetown，thatthisincorrigibleflirtwouldsethernetsandbaitstodrawin。IfEsmondremonstrated，thelittlerebelwouldsay——"Whoareyou？Ishallgomyownway，sirrah，andthatwayistowardsahusband，andIdon'twantYOUontheway。I
　　amforyourbetters，Colonel，foryourbetters:doyouhearthat？
　　Youmightdoifyouhadanestateandwereyounger;onlyeightyearsolderthanI，yousay！pish，youareahundredyearsolder。
　　Youareanold，oldGraveairs，andIshouldmakeyoumiserable，thatwouldbetheonlycomfortIshouldhaveinmarryingyou。Butyouhavenotmoneyenoughtokeepacatdecentlyafteryouhavepaidyourmanhiswages，andyourlandladyherbill。DoyouthinkIamgoingtoliveinalodging，andturnthemuttonatastringwhilstyourhonornursesthebaby？Fiddlestick，andwhydidyounotgetthisnonsenseknockedoutofyourheadwhenyouwereinthewars？Youarecomebackmoredismalanddrearythanever。Youandmammaarefitforeachother。YoumightbeDarbyandJoan，andplaycribbagetotheendofyourlives。"
　　"Atleastyouowntoyourworldliness，mypoorTrix，"sayshermother。
　　"Worldliness。Oh，myprettylady！DoyouthinkthatIamachildinthenursery，andtobefrightenedbyBogey！Worldliness，tobesure;andpray，madam，whereistheharmofwishingtobecomfortable？Whenyouaregone，youdearestoldwoman，orwhenI
　　amtiredofyouandhaverunawayfromyou，whereshallIgo？
　　ShallIgoandbeheadnursetomyPopishsister—in—law，takethechildrentheirphysic，andwhip'em，andput'emtobedwhentheyarenaughty？ShallIbeCastlewood'supperservant，andperhapsmarryTomTusher？Merci！IhavebeenlongenoughFrank'shumbleservant。WhyamInotaman？Ihavetentimeshisbrains，andhadIwornthe——well，don'tletyourladyshipbefrightened——hadIwornaswordandperiwiginsteadofthismantleandcommodetowhichnaturehascondemnedme——（though'tisaprettystuff，too——CousinEsmond！youwillgototheExchangeto—morrow，andgettheexactcounterpartofthisribbon，sir;doyouhear？）——Iwouldhavemadeournametalkedabout。SowouldGraveairsherehavemadesomethingoutofournameifhehadrepresentedit。MyLordGraveairswouldhavedoneverywell。Yes，youhaveaveryprettyway，andwouldhavemadeaverydecent，gravespeaker。"AndhereshebegantoimitateEsmond'swayofcarryinghimselfandspeakingtohisface，andsoludicrouslythathismistressburstouta—laughing，andevenhehimselfcouldseetherewassomelikenessinthefantasticalmaliciouscaricature。
　　"Yes，"saysshe，"Isolemnlyvow，own，andconfess，thatIwantagoodhusband。Where'stheharmofone？Myfaceismyfortune。
　　Who'llcome？——buy，buy，buy！Icannottoil，neithercanIspin，butIcanplaytwenty—threegamesonthecards。Icandancethelastdance，Icanhuntthestag，andIthinkIcouldshootflying。
　　Icantalkaswickedasanywomanofmyyears，andknowenoughstoriestoamuseasulkyhusbandforatleastonethousandandonenights。Ihaveaprettytastefordress，diamonds，gambling，andoldChina。Ilovesugar—plums，Malineslace（thatyoubroughtme，cousin，isverypretty），theopera，andeverythingthatisuselessandcostly。Ihavegotamonkeyandalittleblackboy——Pompey，sir，goandgiveadishofchocolatetoColonelGraveairs，——andaparrotandaspaniel，andImusthaveahusband。Cupid，youhear？"
　　"Iss，Missis！"saysPompey，alittlegrinningnegroLordPeterborrowgaveher，withabirdofParadiseinhisturbant，andacollarwithhismistress'snameonit。
　　"Iss，Missis！"saysBeatrix，imitatingthechild。"Andifhusbandnotcome，Pompeymustgofetchone。"
　　AndPompeywentawaygrinningwithhischocolatetrayasMissBeatrixranuptohermotherandendedhersallyofmischiefinhercommonway，withakiss——nowonderthatuponpayingsuchapenaltyherfondjudgepardonedher。
　　WhenMr。Esmondcamehome，hishealthwasstillshattered;andhetookalodgingneartohismistresses，atKensington，gladenoughtobeservedbythem，andtoseethemdayafterday。Hewasenabledtoseealittlecompany——andofthesorthelikedbest。
　　Mr。SteeleandMr。Addisonbothdidhimthehonortovisithim;anddrankmanyaglassofgoodclaretathislodging，whilsttheirentertainer，throughhiswound，waskepttodietdrinkandgruel。
　　ThesegentlemenwereWhigs，andgreatadmirersofmyLordDukeofMarlborough;andEsmondwasentirelyoftheotherparty。Buttheirdifferentviewsofpoliticsdidnotpreventthegentlemenfromagreeinginprivate，norfromallowing，ononeeveningwhenEsmond'skindoldpatron，Lieutenant—GeneralWebb，withastickandacrutch，hobbleduptotheColonel'slodging（whichwasprettilysituateatKnightsbridge，betweenLondonandKensington，andlookingovertheGardens），thattheLieutenant—Generalwasanobleandgallantsoldier——andeventhathehadbeenhardlyusedintheWynendaelaffair。Hetookhisrevengeintalk，thatmustbeconfessed;andifMr。AddisonhadhadamindtowriteapoemaboutWynendael，hemighthaveheardfromthecommander'sownlipsthestoryahundredtimesover。
　　Mr。Esmond，forcedtobequiet，betookhimselftoliteratureforarelaxation，andcomposedhiscomedy，whereoftheprompter'scopyliethinmywalnutescritoire，sealedupanddocketed，"TheFaithfulFool，aComedy，asitwasperformedbyherMajesty'sServants。"'Twasaverysentimentalpiece;andMr。Steele，whohadmoreofthatkindofsentimentthanMr。Addison，admiredit，whilsttheotherrathersneeredattheperformance;thoughheownedthat，hereandthere，itcontainedsomeprettystrokes。Hewasbringingouthisownplayof"Cato"atthetime，theblazeofwhichquiteextinguishedEsmond'sfarthingcandle;andhisnamewasneverputtothepiece，whichwasprintedasbyaPersonofQuality。Onlyninecopiesweresold，thoughMr。Dennis，thegreatcritic，praisedit，andsaid'twasaworkofgreatmerit;andColonelEsmondhadthewholeimpressionburnedonedayinarage，byJackLockwood，hisman。
　　Allthiscomedywasfullofbittersatiricstrokesagainstacertainyounglady。Theplotofthepiecewasquiteanewone。A
　　youngwomanwasrepresentedwithagreatnumberofsuitors，selectingapertfribbleofapeer，inplaceofthehero（butill—
　　acted，Ithink，byMr。Wilks，theFaithfulFool，）whopersistedinadmiringher。Inthefifthact，TeramintawasmadetodiscoverthemeritsofEugenio（theF。F。），andtofeelapartialityforhimtoolate;forheannouncedthathehadbestowedhishandandestateuponRosaria，acountrylass，endowedwitheveryvirtue。Butitmustbeownedthattheaudienceyawnedthroughtheplay;andthatitperishedonthethirdnight，withonlyhalfadozenpersonstobeholditsagonies。Esmondandhistwomistressescametothefirstnight，andMissBeatrixfellasleep;whilsthermother，whohadnotbeentoaplaysinceKingJamestheSecond'stime，thoughtthepiece，thoughnotbrilliant，hadaveryprettymoral。
　　Mr。Esmonddabbledinletters，andwroteadealofproseandverseatthistimeofleisure。WhendispleasedwiththeconductofMissBeatrix，hewouldcomposeasatire，inwhichherelievedhismind。
　　Whensmartingunderthefaithlessnessofwomen，hedashedoffacopyofverses，inwhichheheldthewholesexuptoscorn。Oneday，inoneofthesemoods，hemadealittlejoke，inwhich（swearinghimtosecrecy）hegothisfriendDickSteeletohelphim;and，composingapaper，hehaditprintedexactlylikeSteele'spaper，andbyhisprinter，andlaidonhismistress'sbreakfast—tablethefollowing——
　　"SPECTATOR。
　　"No。341。"Tuesday，April1，1712。
　　MutatonominedeteFabulanarratur。——HORACE。
　　Thyselfthemorainofthefablesee。——CREECH。
　　"Jocastaisknownasawomanoflearningandfashion，andasoneofthemostamiablepersonsofthiscourtandcountry。Sheisathometwomorningsoftheweek，andallthewitsandafewofthebeautiesofLondonflocktoherassemblies。WhenshegoesabroadtoTunbridgeortheBath，aretinueofadorersridesthejourneywithher;andbesidestheLondonbeaux，shehasacrowdofadmirersattheWells，thepoliteamongstthenativesofSussexandSomersetpressingroundhertea—tables，andbeinganxiousforanodfromherchair。Jocasta'sacquaintanceisthusverynumerous。Indeed，'tisonesmartwriter'sworktokeephervisiting—book——astrongfootmanisengagedtocarryit;anditwouldrequireamuchstrongerheadeventhanJocasta'sowntorememberthenamesofallherdearfriends。
　　"EitheratEpsomWellsoratTunbridge（forofthisimportantmatterJocastacannotbecertain）itwasherladyship'sfortunetobecomeacquaintedwithayounggentleman，whoseconversationwassosprightly，andmannersamiable，thatsheinvitedtheagreeableyoungsparktovisitherifeverhecametoLondon，whereherhouseinSpringGardenshouldbeopentohim。Charmingashewas，andwithoutanymannerofdoubtaprettyfellow，Jocastahathsucharegimentofthelikecontinuallymarchingroundherstandard，that'tisnowonderherattentionisdistractedamongstthem。Andso，thoughthisgentlemanmadeaconsiderableimpressionuponher，andtouchedherheartforatleastthree—and—twentyminutes，itmustbeownedthatshehasforgottenhisname。Heisadarkman，andmaybeeight—and—twentyyearsold。Hisdressissober，thoughofrichmaterials。Hehasamoleonhisforeheadoverhislefteye;hasablueribbontohiscaneandsword，andwearshisownhair。
　　"Jocastawasmuchflatteredbybeholdingheradmirer（forthateverybodyadmireswhoseesherisapointwhichshenevercanforamomentdoubt）inthenextpewtoheratSt。James'sChurchlastSunday;andthemannerinwhichheappearedtogotosleepduringthesermon——thoughfromunderhisfringedeyelidsitwasevidenthewascastingglancesofrespectfulrapturetowardsJocasta——deeplymovedandinterestedher。Oncomingoutofchurch，hefoundhiswaytoherchair，andmadeheranelegantbowasshesteppedintoit。ShesawhimatCourtafterwards，wherehecarriedhimselfwithamostdistinguishedair，thoughnoneofheracquaintancesknewhisname;andthenextnighthewasattheplay，whereherladyshipwaspleasedtoacknowledgehimfromtheside—box。
　　"Duringthewholeofthecomedysherackedherbrainssotorememberhisnamethatshedidnothearawordofthepiece:andhavingthehappinesstomeethimoncemoreinthelobbyoftheplayhouse，shewentuptohiminaflutter，andbadehimrememberthatshekepttwonightsintheweek，andthatshelongedtoseehimatSpringGarden。
　　"HeappearedonTuesday，inarichsuit，showingaveryfinetastebothinthetailorandwearer;andthoughaknotofusweregatheredroundthecharmingJocasta，fellowswhopretendedtoknoweveryfaceuponthetown，notonecouldtellthegentleman'snameinreplytoJocasta'seagerinquiries，flungtotherightandleftofherasheadvanceduptheroomwithabowthatwouldbecomeaduke。
　　"Jocastaacknowledgedthissalutewithoneofthosesmilesandcurtsiesofwhichthatladyhaththesecret。Shecurtsieswithalanguishingair，asiftosay，'Youarecomeatlast。Ihavebeenpiningforyou:'andthenshefinisheshervictimwithakillinglook，whichdeclares:'OPhilander！Ihavenoeyesbutforyou。'
　　Camillahathasgoodacurtsyperhaps，andThalestrismuchsuchanotherlook;buttheglanceandthecurtsytogetherbelongtoJocastaofalltheEnglishbeautiesalone。
　　"'WelcometoLondon，sir，'saysshe。'Onecanseeyouarefromthecountrybyyourlooks。'Shewouldhavesaid'Epsom，'or'Tunbridge，'hadsherememberedrightlyatwhichplaceshehadmetthestranger;but，alas！shehadforgotten。
　　"Thegentlemansaid，'hehadbeenintownbutthreedays;andoneofhisreasonsforcominghitherwastohavethehonorofpayinghiscourttoJocasta。'
　　"Shesaid，'thewatershadagreedwithherbutindifferently。'
　　"'Thewaterswereforthesick，'thegentlemansaid:'theyoungandbeautifulcamebuttomakethemsparkle。AndastheclergymanreadtheserviceonSunday，'headded，'yourladyshipremindedmeoftheangelthatvisitedthepool。'Amurmurofapprobationsalutedthissally。Manilio，whoisawitwhenheisnotatcards，wasinsucharagethatherevokedwhenheheardit。
　　"Jocastawasanangelvisitingthewaters;butatwhichoftheBethesdas？Shewaspuzzledmoreandmore;and，asherwayalwaysis，lookedthemoreinnocentandsimple，themoreartfulherintentionswere。
　　"'Wewerediscoursing，'saysshe，'aboutspellingofnamesandwordswhenyoucame。Whyshouldwesaygooldandwritegold，andcallchinachayney，andCavendishCandish，andCholmondeleyChumley？IfwecallPulteneyPoltney，whyshouldn'twecallpoultrypultry——and——'
　　"'Suchanenchantressasyourladyship，'sayshe，'ismistressofallsortsofspells。'ButthiswasDr。Swift'spun，andweallknewit。
　　"'And——andhowdoyouspellyourname？'saysshe，comingtothepointatlength;forthissprightlyconversationhadlastedmuchlongerthanisheresetdown，andbeencarriedonthroughatleastthreedishesoftea。
　　"'Oh，madam，'sayshe，'ISPELLMYNAMEWITHTHEY。'Andlayingdownhisdish，mygentlemanmadeanotherelegantbow，andwasgoneinamoment。
　　"Jocastahathhadnosleepsincethismortification，andthestranger'sdisappearance。Ifbalkedinanything，sheissuretoloseherhealthandtemper;andwe，herservants，suffer，asusual，duringtheangryfitsofourQueen。Canyouhelpus，Mr。
　　Spectator，whoknoweverything，toreadthisriddleforher，andsetatrestallourminds？Wefindinherlist，Mr。Berty，Mr。
　　Smith，Mr。Pike，Mr。Tyler——whomaybeMr。Bertie，Mr。Smyth，Mr。
　　Pyke，Mr。Tiler，forwhatweknow。Shehathturnedawaytheclerkofhervisiting—book，apoorfellowwithagreatfamilyofchildren。Readmethisriddle，goodMr。Shortface，andobligeyouradmirer——OEDIPUS。"
　　"THETRUMPETCOFFEE—HOUSE，WHITEHALL。
　　MR。SPECTATOR，——Iamagentlemanbutlittleacquaintedwiththetown，thoughIhavehadauniversityeducation，andpassedsomeyearsservingmycountryabroad，wheremynameisbetterknownthaninthecoffee—houseandSt。James's。
　　"Twoyearssincemyuncledied，leavingmeaprettyestateinthecountyofKent;andbeingatTunbridgeWellslastsummer，aftermymourningwasover，andonthelook—out，iftruthmustbetold，forsomeyoungladywhowouldsharewithmethesolitudeofmygreatKentishhouse，andbekindtomytenantry（forwhomawomancandoagreatdealmoregoodthanthebest—intentionedmancan），IwasgreatlyfascinatedbyayoungladyofLondon，whowasthetoastofallthecompanyattheWells。EveryoneknowsSaccharissa'sbeauty;andIthink，Mr。Spectator，noonebetterthanherself。
　　"Mytable—bookinformsmethatIdancednolessthanseven—and—
　　twentysetswithherattheAssembly。Itreatedhertothefiddlestwice。Iwasadmittedonseveraldaystoherlodging，andreceivedbyherwithagreatdealofdistinction，and，foratime，wasentirelyherslave。ItwasonlywhenIfound，fromcommontalkofthecompanyattheWells，andfromnarrowlywatchingone，whoI
　　oncethoughtofaskingthemostsacredquestionamancanputtoawoman，thatIbecameawarehowunfitshewastobeacountrygentleman'swife;andthatthisfaircreaturewasbutaheartlessworldlyjilt，playingwithaffectionsthatshenevermeanttoreturn，and，indeed，incapableofreturningthem。'Tisadmirationsuchwomenwant，notlovethattouchesthem;andIcanconceive，inheroldage，nomorewretchedcreaturethanthisladywillbe，whenherbeautyhathdesertedher，whenheradmirershavelefther，andshehathneitherfriendshipnorreligiontoconsoleher。
　　"BusinesscallingmetoLondon，IwenttoSt。James'sChurchlastSunday，andthereoppositemesatmybeautyoftheWells。Herbehaviorduringthewholeservicewassopert，languishing，andabsurd;sheflirtedherfan，andogledandeyedmeinamannersoindecent，thatIwasobligedtoshutmyeyes，soasactuallynottoseeher，andwheneverIopenedthembeheldhers（andverybrighttheyare）stillstaringatme。IfellinwithherafterwardsatCourt，andattheplayhouse;andherenothingwouldsatisfyherbutshemustelbowthroughthecrowdandspeaktome，andinvitemetotheassembly，whichsheholdsatherhouse，notveryfarfromCh—r—ngCr—ss。
　　"Havingmadeherapromisetoattend，ofcourseIkeptmypromise;
　　andfoundtheyoungwidowinthemidstofahalf—dozenofcardtables，andacrowdofwitsandadmirers。ImadethebestbowI
　　could，andadvancedtowardsher;andsawbyapeculiarpuzzledlookinherface，thoughshetriedtohideherperplexity，thatshehadforgottenevenmyname。
　　"Hertalk，artfulasitwas，convincedmethatIhadguessedaright。Sheturnedtheconversationmostridiculouslyuponthespellingofnamesandwords;andIrepliedwithasridiculousfulsomecomplimentsasIcouldpayher:indeed，oneinwhichI
　　comparedhertoanangelvisitingthesickwells，wentalittletoofar;norshouldIhaveemployedit，butthattheallusioncamefromtheSecondLessonlastSunday，whichwebothhadheard，andIwaspressedtoanswerher。
　　"Thenshecametothequestion，whichIknewwasawaitingme，andaskedhowISPELTmyname？'Madam，'saysI，turningonmyheel，'I
　　spellitwithaY。'AndsoIlefther，wonderingatthelight—
　　heartednessofthetown—people，whoforgetandmakefriendssoeasily，andresolvedtolookelsewhereforapartnerforyourconstantreader，"CYMONWYLDOATS。"
　　"Youknowmyrealname，Mr。Spectator，inwhichthereisnosuchaletterasHUPSILON。Butifthelady，whomIhavecalledSaccharissa，wondersthatIappearnomoreatthetea—tables，sheisherebyrespectfullyinformedthereasonY。"
　　Theaboveisaparable，whereofthewriterwillnowexpoundthemeaning。JocastawasnootherthanMissEsmond，MaidofHonortoherMajesty。ShehadtoldMr。Esmondthislittlestoryofhavingmetagentlemansomewhere，andforgettinghisname，whenthegentleman，withnosuchmaliciousintentionsasthoseof"Cymon"intheabovefable，madetheanswersimplyasabove;andwealllaughedtothinkhowlittleMistressJocasta—Beatrixhadprofitedbyherartificeandprecautions。
　　AsforCymon，hewasintendedtorepresentyoursandherveryhumbleservant，thewriteroftheapologueandofthisstory，whichwehadprintedona"Spectator"paperatMr。Steele'soffice，exactlyasthosefamousjournalswereprinted，andwhichwaslaidonthetableatbreakfastinplaceoftherealnewspaper。MistressJocasta，whohadplentyofwit，couldnotlivewithoutherSpectatortohertea;andthisshamSpectatorwasintendedtoconveytotheyoungwomanthatsheherselfwasaflirt，andthatCymonwasagentlemanofhonorandresolution，seeingallherfaults，anddeterminedtobreakthechainsonceandforever。
　　Forthoughenoughhathbeensaidaboutthislove—businessalready——
　　enough，atleast，toprovetothewriter'sheirswhatasillyfondfooltheiroldgrandfatherwas，whowouldlikethemtoconsiderhimasaverywiseoldgentleman;yetnotnearallhasbeentoldconcerningthismatter，which，ifitwereallowedtotakeinEsmond'sjournalthespaceitoccupiedinhistime，wouldwearyhiskinsmenandwomenofahundredyears'timebeyondallendurance;
　　andformsuchadiaryoffollyanddrivelling，rapturesandrage，asnomanofordinaryvanitywouldliketoleavebehindhim。
　　Thetruthis，that，whethershelaughedathimorencouragedhim;
　　whethershesmiledorwascold，andturnedhersmilesonanother;
　　worldlyandambitious，asheknewhertobe;hardandcareless，assheseemedtogrowwithhercourtlife，andahundredadmirersthatcametoherandlefther;Esmond，dowhathewould，nevercouldgetBeatrixoutofhismind;thoughtofherconstantlyathomeoraway。
　　IfhereadhisnameinaGazette，orescapedtheshotofacannon—
　　balloragreaterdangerinthecampaign，ashashappenedtohimmorethanonce，theinstantthoughtafterthehonorachievedorthedangeravoided，was，"WhatwillSHEsayofit？""Willthisdistinctionortheideaofthisperilelateherortouchher，soastobebetterinclinedtowardsme？"Hecouldnomorehelpthispassionatefidelityoftemperthanhecouldhelptheeyeshesawwith——oneortheotherseemedapartofhisnature;andknowingeveryoneofherfaultsaswellasthekeenestofherdetractors，andthefollyofanattachmenttosuchawoman，ofwhichthefruitioncouldneverbringhimhappinessforaboveaweek，therewasyetacharmaboutthisCircefromwhichthepoordeludedgentlemancouldnotfreehimself;andforamuchlongerperiodthanUlysses（anothermiddle—agedofficer，whohadtravelledmuch，andbeenintheforeignwars，）Esmondfelthimselfenthralledandbesottedbythewilesofthisenchantress。Quither！Hecouldnomorequither，astheCymonofthisstorywasmadetoquithisfalseone，thanhecouldlosehisconsciousnessofyesterday。Shehadbuttoraiseherfinger，andhewouldcomebackfromeversofar;shehadbuttosayIhavediscardedsuchandsuchanadorer，andthepoorinfatuatedwretchwouldbesuretocomeandroderabouthermother'shouse，willingtobeputontheranksofsuitors，thoughheknewhemightbecastoffthenextweek。IfhewerelikeUlyssesinhisfolly，atleastshewasinsofarlikePenelopethatshehadacrowdofsuitors，andundiddayafterdayandnightafternightthehandiworkoffascinationandthewebofcoquetrywithwhichshewaswonttoallureandentertainthem。
　　PartofhercoquetrymayhavecomefromherpositionabouttheCourt，wherethebeautifulmaidofhonorwasthelightaboutwhichathousandbeauxcameandfluttered;whereshewassuretohavearingofadmirersroundher，crowdingtolistentoherreparteesasmuchastoadmireherbeauty;andwhereshespokeandlistenedtomuchfreetalk，suchasoneneverwouldhavethoughtthelipsorearsofRachelCastlewood'sdaughterwouldhaveutteredorheard。
　　WheninwaitingatWindsororHampton，theCourtladiesandgentlemenwouldbemakingridingpartiestogether;Mrs。Beatrixinahorseman'scoatandhat，theforemostafterthestag—houndsandovertheparkfences，acrowdofyoungfellowsatherheels。IftheEnglishcountryladiesatthistimewerethemostpureandmodestofanyladiesintheworld——theEnglishtownandcourtladiespermittedthemselveswordsandbehaviorthatwereneithermodestnorpure;andclaimed，someofthem，afreedomwhichthosewholovethatsexmostwouldneverwishtograntthem。Thegentlemenofmyfamilythatfollowafterme（forIdon'tencouragetheladiestopursueanysuchstudies），mayreadintheworksofMr。Congreve，andDr。Swiftandothers，whatwastheconversationandwhatthehabitsofourtime。
　　ThemostbeautifulwomaninEnglandin1712，whenEsmondreturnedtothiscountry，aladyofhighbirth，andthoughofnofortunetobesure，withathousandfascinationsofwitandmanners，BeatrixEsmondwasnowsix—and—twentyyearsold，andBeatrixEsmondstill。
　　Ofherhundredadorersshehadnotchosenoneforahusband;andthosewhohadaskedhadbeenjiltedbyher;andmorestillhadlefther。Asuccessionofneartenyears'cropsofbeautieshadcomeupsincehertime，andhadbeenreapedbyproperHUSBANDmen，ifwemaymakeanagriculturalsimile，andhadbeenhousedcomfortablylongago。Herowncontemporariesweresobermothersbythistime;girlswithnotatitheofhercharms，orherwit，havingmadegoodmatches，andnowclaimingprecedenceoverthespinsterwhobutlatelyhadderidedandoutshonethem。TheyoungbeautieswerebeginningtolookdownonBeatrixasanoldmaid，andsneer，andcallheroneofCharlesII。'sladies，andaskwhetherherportraitwasnotintheHamptonCourtGallery？Butstillshereigned，atleastinoneman'sopinion，superioroverallthelittlemissesthatwerethetoastsoftheyounglads;andinEsmond'seyeswaseverperfectlylovelyandyoung。
　　Whoknowshowmanywerenearlymadehappybypossessingher，or，rather，howmanywerefortunateinescapingthissiren？'Tisamarveltothinkthathermotherwasthepurestandsimplestwomaninthewholeworld，andthatthisgirlshouldhavebeenbornfromher。Iaminclinedtofancy，mymistress，whoneversaidaharshwordtoherchildren（andbuttwiceorthriceonlytooneperson），musthavebeentoofondandpressingwiththematernalauthority;
　　forhersonandherdaughterbothrevoltedearly;noraftertheirfirstflightfromthenestcouldtheyeverbebroughtbackquitetothefondmother'sbosom。LadyCastlewood，andperhapsitwasaswell，knewlittleofherdaughter'slifeandrealthoughts。HowwasshetoapprehendwhatpassesinQueen'sante—chambersandatCourttables？Mrs。Beatrixassertedherownauthoritysoresolutelythathermotherquicklygavein。Themaidofhonorhadherownequipage;wentfromhomeandcamebackatherownwill:hermotherwasalikepowerlesstoresistherortoleadher，ortocommandortopersuadeher。
　　Shehadbeenengagedonce，twice，thrice，tobemarried，Esmondbelieved。Whenhequittedhome，ithathbeensaid，shewaspromisedtomyLordAshburnham，andnow，onhisreturn，beholdhislordshipwasjustmarriedtoLadyMaryButler，theDukeofOrmonde'sdaughter，andhisfinehouses，andtwelvethousandayearoffortune，forwhichMissBeatrixhadrathercovetedhim，wasoutofherpower。ToherEsmondcouldsaynothinginregardtothebreakingofthismatch;and，askinghismistressaboutit，allLadyCastlewoodansweredwas:"donotspeaktomeaboutit，Harry。I
　　cannottellyouhoworwhytheyparted，andIfeartoinquire。I
　　havetoldyoubefore，thatwithallherkindness，andwit，andgenerosity，andthatsortofsplendorofnatureshehas，IcansaybutlittlegoodofpoorBeatrix，andlookwithdreadatthemarriageshewillform。Hermindisfixedonambitiononly，andmakingagreatfigure;and，thisachieved，shewilltireofitasshedoesofeverything。Heavenhelpherhusband，whoeverheshallbe！MyLordAshburnhamwasamostexcellentyoungman，gentleandyetmanly，ofverygoodparts，sotheytoldme，andasmylittleconversationwouldenablemetojudge:andakindtemper——kindandenduringI'msurehemusthavebeen，fromallthathehadtoendure。Buthequittedheratlast，fromsomecrowningpieceofcapriceortyrannyofhers;andnowhehasmarriedayoungwomanthatwillmakehimathousandtimeshappierthanmypoorgirlevercould。"
　　Therupture，whateveritscausewas，（Iheardthescandal，butindeedshallnottakepainstorepeatatlengthinthisdiarythetrumperycoffee—housestory，）causedagooddealoflowtalk;andMr。Esmondwaspresentatmylord'sappearanceattheBirthdaywithhisbride，overwhomtherevengethatBeatrixtookwastolooksoimperialandlovelythatthemodestdowncastyoungladycouldnotappearbesideher，andLordAshburnham，whohadhisreasonsforwishingtoavoidher，slunkawayquiteshamefaced，andveryearly。
　　ThistimehisGracetheDukeofHamilton，whomEsmondhadseenaboutherbefore，wasconstantatMissBeatrix'sside:hewasoneofthemostsplendidgentlemenofEurope，accomplishedbybooks，bytravel，bylongcommandofthebestcompany，distinguishedasastatesman，havingbeenambassadorinKingWilliamn'stime，andanoblespeakerintheScots'Parliament，wherehehadledthepartythatwasagainsttheUnion，andthoughnowfiveorsixandfortyyearsofage，agentlemansohighinstature，accomplishedinwit，andfavoredinperson，thathemightpretendtothehandofanyPrincessinEurope。
　　"ShouldyouliketheDukeforacousin？"saysMr。SecretarySt。
　　John，whisperingtoColonelEsmondinFrench;"itappearsthatthewidowerconsoleshimself。"
　　ButtoreturntoourlittleSpectatorpaperandtheconversationwhichgrewoutofit。MissBeatrixatfirstwasquiteBIT（asthephraseofthatdaywas）anddidnot"smoke"theauthorshipofthestory;indeedEsmondhadtriedtoimitateaswellashecouldMr。
　　Steele'smanner（asfortheotherauthoroftheSpectator，hisprosestyleIthinkisaltogetherinimitable）;andDick，whowastheidlestandbest—naturedofmen，wouldhaveletthepiecepassintohisjournalandgotoposterityasoneofhisownlucubrations，butthatEsmonddidnotcaretohavealady'snamewhomhelovedsentforthtotheworldinalightsounfavorable。
　　Beatrixpishedandpsha'doverthepaper;ColonelEsmondwatchingwithnolittleinteresthercountenanceasshereadit。
　　"HowstupidyourfriendMr。Steelebecomes！"criesMissBeatrix。
　　"EpsomandTunbridge！WillheneverhavedonewithEpsomandTunbridge，andwithbeauxatchurch，andJocastasandLindamiras？
　　WhydoeshenotcallwomenNellyandBetty，astheirgodfathersandgodmothersdidforthemintheirbaptism？"
　　"Beatrix。Beatrix！"sayshermother，"speakgravelyofgravethings。"
　　"MammathinkstheChurchCatechismcamefromheaven，Ibelieve，"
　　saysBeatrix，withalaugh，"andwasbroughtdownbyabishopfromamountain。Oh，howIusedtobreakmyheartoverit！Besides，I
　　hadaPopishgodmother，mamma;whydidyougivemeone？"
　　"IgaveyoutheQueen'sname，"sayshermotherblushing。"Andaveryprettynameitis，"saidsomebodyelse。
　　Beatrixwentonreading——"SpellmynamewithaY——why，youwretch，"
　　saysshe，turningroundtoColonelEsmond，"youhavebeentellingmystorytoMr。Steele——orstop——youhavewrittenthepaperyourselftoturnmeintoridicule。Forshame，sir！"