Hesoundedasifhewereaddressingameeting。Hermionemerelypaidnoattention，stoodwithhershoulderstightinashrugofdislike。
　　Ursulawaswatchinghimasiffurtively，notreallyawareofwhatshewasseeing。Therewasagreatphysicalattractivenessinhim——acurioushiddenrichness，thatcamethroughhisthinnessandhispallorlikeanothervoice，conveyinganotherknowledgeofhim。Itwasinthecurvesofhisbrowsandhischin，rich，fine，exquisitecurves，thepowerfulbeautyoflifeitself。Shecouldnotsaywhatitwas。Buttherewasasenseofrichnessandofliberty。
　　`Butwearesensualenough，withoutmakingourselvesso，aren'twe？'
　　sheasked，turningtohimwithacertaingoldenlaughterflickeringunderhergreenisheyes，likeachallenge。Andimmediatelythequeer，careless，terriblyattractivesmilecameoverhiseyesandbrows，thoughhismouthdidnotrelax。
　　`No，'hesaid，`wearen't。We'retoofullofourselves。'
　　`Surelyitisn'tamatterofconceit，'shecried。
　　`Thatandnothingelse。'
　　Shewasfranklypuzzled。
　　`Don'tyouthinkthatpeoplearemostconceitedofallabouttheirsensualpowers？'sheasked。
　　`That'swhytheyaren'tsensual——onlysensuous——whichisanothermatter。They'realwaysawareofthemselves——andthey'resoconceited，thatratherthanreleasethemselves，andliveinanotherworld，fromanothercentre，they'd——'
　　`Youwantyourtea，don'tyou，'saidHermione，turningtoUrsulawithagraciouskindliness。`You'veworkedallday——'
　　Birkinstoppedshort。AspasmofangerandchagrinwentoverUrsula。
　　Hisfaceset。Andhebadegood—bye，asifhehadceasedtonoticeher。
　　Theyweregone。Ursulastoodlookingatthedoorforsomemoments。Thensheputoutthelights。Andhavingdoneso，shesatdownagaininherchair，absorbedandlost。Andthenshebegantocry，bitterly，bitterlyweeping:
　　butwhetherformiseryorjoy，sheneverknew。
　　WomenInLove:Chapter4CHAPTERIVDiverTHEWEEKpassedaway。OntheSaturdayitrained，asoftdrizzlingrainthatheldoffattimes。InoneoftheintervalsGudrunandUrsulasetoutforawalk，goingtowardsWilleyWater。Theatmospherewasgreyandtranslucent，thebirdssangsharplyontheyoungtwigs，theearthwouldbequickeningandhasteningingrowth。Thetwogirlswalkedswiftly，gladly，becauseofthesoft，subtlerushofmorningthatfilledthewethaze。Bytheroadtheblack—thornwasinblossom，whiteandwet，itstinyambergrainsburningfaintlyinthewhitesmokeofblossom。Purpletwigsweredarklyluminousinthegreyair，highhedgesglowedlikelivingshadows，hoveringnearer，comingintocreation。Themorningwasfullofanewcreation。
　　WhenthesisterscametoWilleyWater，thelakelayallgreyandvisionary，stretchingintothemoist，translucentvistaoftreesandmeadow。Fineelectricactivityinsoundcamefromthedumblesbelowtheroad，thebirdspipingoneagainsttheother，andwatermysteriouslyplashing，issuingfromthelake。
　　Thetwogirlsdriftedswiftlyalong。Infrontofthem，atthecornerofthelake，neartheroad，wasamossyboat—houseunderawalnuttree，andalittlelanding—stagewhereaboatwasmoored，waveringlikeashadowonthestillgreywater，belowthegreen，decayedpoles。Allwasshadowywithcomingsummer。
　　Suddenly，fromtheboat—house，awhitefigureranout，frighteninginitsswiftsharptransit，acrosstheoldlanding—stage。Itlaunchedinawhitearcthroughtheair，therewasaburstingofthewater，andamongthesmoothripplesaswimmerwasmakingouttospace，inacentreoffaintlyheavingmotion。Thewholeotherworld，wetandremote，hehadtohimself。
　　Hecouldmoveintothepuretranslucencyofthegrey，uncreatedwater。
　　Gudrunstoodbythestonewall，watching。
　　`HowIenvyhim，'shesaid，inlow，desiroustones。
　　`Ugh！'shiveredUrsula。`Socold！'
　　`Yes，buthowgood，howreallyfine，toswimoutthere！'Thesistersstoodwatchingtheswimmermovefurtherintothegrey，moist，fullspaceofthewater，pulsingwithhisownsmall，invadingmotion，andarchedoverwithmistanddimwoods。
　　`Don'tyouwishitwereyou？'askedGudrun，lookingatUrsula。
　　`Ido，'saidUrsula。`ButI'mnotsure——it'ssowet。'
　　`No，'saidGudrun，reluctantly。Shestoodwatchingthemotiononthebosomofthewater，asiffascinated。He，havingswumacertaindistance，turnedroundandwasswimmingonhisback，lookingalongthewateratthetwogirlsbythewall。Inthefaintwashofmotion，theycouldseehisruddyface，andcouldfeelhimwatchingthem。
　　`ItisGeraldCrich，'saidUrsula。
　　`Iknow，'repliedGudrun。
　　Andshestoodmotionlessgazingoverthewateratthefacewhichwashedupanddownontheflood，asheswamsteadily。Fromhisseparateelementhesawthemandheexultedtohimselfbecauseofhisownadvantage，hispossessionofaworldtohimself。Hewasimmuneandperfect。Helovedhisownvigorous，thrustingmotion，andtheviolentimpulseoftheverycoldwateragainsthislimbs，buoyinghimup。Hecouldseethegirlswatchinghimawayoff，outside，andthatpleasedhim。Heliftedhisarmfromthewater，inasigntothem。
　　`Heiswaving，'saidUrsula。
　　`Yes，'repliedGudrun。Theywatchedhim。Hewavedagain，withastrangemovementofrecognitionacrossthedifference。
　　`LikeaNibelung，'laughedUrsula。Gudrunsaidnothing，onlystoodstilllookingoverthewater。
　　Geraldsuddenlyturned，andwasswimmingawayswiftly，withasidestroke。
　　Hewasalonenow，aloneandimmuneinthemiddleofthewaters，whichhehadalltohimself。Heexultedinhisisolationinthenewelement，unquestionedandunconditioned。Hewashappy，thrustingwithhislegsandallhisbody，withoutbondorconnectionanywhere，justhimselfinthewateryworld。
　　Gudrunenviedhimalmostpainfully。Eventhismomentarypossessionofpureisolationandfluidityseemedtohersoterriblydesirablethatshefeltherselfasifdamned，outthereonthehigh—road。
　　`God，whatitistobeaman！'shecried。
　　`What？'exclaimedUrsulainsurprise。
　　`Thefreedom，theliberty，themobility！'criedGudrun，strangelyflushedandbrilliant。`You'reaman，youwanttodoathing，youdoit。Youhaven'tthethousandobstaclesawomanhasinfrontofher。'
　　UrsulawonderedwhatwasinGudrun'smind，tooccasionthisoutburst。
　　Shecouldnotunderstand。
　　`Whatdoyouwanttodo？'sheasked。
　　`Nothing，'criedGudrun，inswiftrefutation。`ButsupposingIdid。
　　SupposingIwanttoswimupthatwater。Itisimpossible，itisoneoftheimpossibilitiesoflife，formetotakemyclothesoffnowandjumpin。Butisn'titridiculous，doesn'titsimplypreventourliving！'
　　Shewassohot，soflushed，sofurious，thatUrsulawaspuzzled。
　　Thetwosisterswenton，uptheroad。TheywerepassingbetweenthetreesjustbelowShortlands。Theylookedupatthelong，lowhouse，dimandglamorousinthewetmorning，itscedartreesslantingbeforethewindows。
　　Gudrunseemedtobestudyingitclosely。
　　`Don'tyouthinkit'sattractive，Ursula？'askedGudrun。
　　`Very，'saidUrsula。`Verypeacefulandcharming。'
　　`Ithasform，too——ithasaperiod。'
　　`Whatperiod？'
　　`Oh，eighteenthcentury，forcertain;DorothyWordsworthandJaneAusten，don'tyouthink？'
　　Ursulalaughed。
　　`Don'tyouthinkso？'repeatedGudrun。
　　`Perhaps。ButIdon'tthinktheCrichesfittheperiod。IknowGeraldisputtinginaprivateelectricplant，forlightingthehouse，andismakingallkindsoflatestimprovements。'
　　Gudrunshruggedhershouldersswiftly。
　　`Ofcourse，'shesaid，`that'squiteinevitable。'
　　`Quite，'laughedUrsula。`Heisseveralgenerationsofyoungnessatonego。Theyhatehimforit。Hetakesthemallbythescruffoftheneck，andfairlyflingsthemalong。He'llhavetodiesoon，whenhe'smadeeverypossibleimprovement，andtherewillbenothingmoretoimprove。He'sgotgo，anyhow。'
　　`Certainly，he'sgotgo，'saidGudrun。`InfactI'veneverseenamanthatshowedsignsofsomuch。Theunfortunatethingis，wheredoeshisgogoto，whatbecomesofit？'
　　`OhIknow，'saidUrsula。`Itgoesinapplyingthelatestappliances！'
　　`Exactly，'saidGudrun。
　　`Youknowheshothisbrother？'saidUrsula。
　　`Shothisbrother？'criedGudrun，frowningasifindisapprobation。
　　`Didn'tyouknow？Ohyes！——Ithoughtyouknew。Heandhisbrotherwereplayingtogetherwithagun。Hetoldhisbrothertolookdownthegun，anditwasloaded，andblewthetopofhisheadoff。Isn'titahorriblestory？'
　　`Howfearful！'criedGudrun。`Butitislongago？'
　　`Ohyes，theywerequiteboys，'saidUrsula。`IthinkitisoneofthemosthorriblestoriesIknow。'
　　`Andheofcoursedidnotknowthatthegunwasloaded？'
　　`Yes。Youseeitwasanoldthingthathadbeenlyinginthestableforyears。Nobodydreameditwouldevergooff，andofcourse，nooneimagineditwasloaded。Butisn'titdreadful，thatitshouldhappen？'
　　`Frightful！'criedGudrun。`Andisn'tithorribletootothinkofsuchathinghappeningtoone，whenonewasachild，andhavingtocarrytheresponsibilityofitallthroughone'slife。Imagineit，twoboysplayingtogether——thenthiscomesuponthem，fornoreasonwhatever——outoftheair。Ursula，it'sveryfrightening！Oh，it'soneofthethingsIcan'tbear。Murder，thatisthinkable，becausethere'sawillbehindit。Butathinglikethattohappentoone——'
　　`Perhapstherewasanunconsciouswillbehindit，'saidUrsula。
　　`Thisplayingatkillinghassomeprimitivedesireforkillinginit，don'tyouthink？'
　　`Desire！'saidGudrun，coldly，stiffeningalittle。`Ican'tseethattheywereevenplayingatkilling。Isupposeoneboysaidtotheother，"YoulookdownthebarrelwhileIpullthetrigger，andseewhathappens。"
　　Itseemstomethepurestformofaccident。'
　　`No，'saidUrsula。`Icouldn'tpullthetriggeroftheemptiestgunintheworld，notifsome—onewerelookingdownthebarrel。Oneinstinctivelydoesn'tdoit——onecan't。'
　　Gudrunwassilentforsomemoments，insharpdisagreement。
　　`Ofcourse，'shesaidcoldly。`Ifoneisawoman，andgrownup，one'sinstinctpreventsone。ButIcannotseehowthatappliestoacoupleofboysplayingtogether。'
　　Hervoicewascoldandangry。
　　`Yes，'persistedUrsula。Atthatmomenttheyheardawoman'svoiceafewyardsoffsayloudly:
　　`Ohdamnthething！'TheywentforwardandsawLauraCrichandHermioneRoddiceinthefieldontheothersideofthehedge，andLauraCrichstrugglingwiththegate，togetout。Ursulaatoncehurriedupandhelpedtoliftthegate。
　　`Thankssomuch，'saidLaura，lookingupflushedandamazon—like，yetratherconfused。`Itisn'trightonthehinges。'
　　`No，'saidUrsula。`Andthey'resoheavy。'
　　`Surprising！'criedLaura。
　　`Howdoyoudo，'sangHermione，fromoutofthefield，themomentshecouldmakehervoiceheard。`It'snicenow。Areyougoingforawalk？Yes。
　　Isn'ttheyounggreenbeautiful？Sobeautiful——quiteburning。Goodmorning——goodmorning——you'llcomeandseeme？——thankyousomuch——nextweek——yes——good—bye，g—o—o—db—y—e。'
　　GudrunandUrsulastoodandwatchedherslowlywavingherheadupanddown，andwavingherhandslowlyindismissal，smilingastrangeaffectedsmile，makingatallqueer，frighteningfigure，withherheavyfairhairslippingtohereyes。Thentheymovedoff，asiftheyhadbeendismissedlikeinferiors。Thefourwomenparted。
　　Assoonastheyhadgonefarenough，Ursulasaid，hercheeksburning，`Idothinkshe'simpudent。'
　　`Who，HermioneRoddice？'askedGudrun。`Why？'
　　`Thewayshetreatsone——impudence！'
　　`Why，Ursula，whatdidyounoticethatwassoimpudent？'askedGudrunrathercoldly。
　　`Herwholemanner。Oh，It'simpossible，thewayshetriestobullyone。
　　Purebullying。She'sanimpudentwoman。"You'llcomeandseeme，"asifweshouldbefallingoverourselvesfortheprivilege。'
　　`Ican'tunderstand，Ursula，whatyouaresomuchputoutabout，'saidGudrun，insomeexasperation。`Oneknowsthosewomenareimpudent——thesefreewomenwhohaveemancipatedthemselvesfromthearistocracy。'
　　`ButitissoUnnecessary——sovulgar，'criedUrsula。
　　`No，Idon'tseeit。AndifIdid——pourmoi，ellen'existepas。I
　　don'tgrantherthepowertobeimpudenttome。'
　　`Doyouthinkshelikesyou？'askedUrsula。
　　`Well，no，Ishouldn'tthinkshedid。'
　　`ThenwhydoessheaskyoutogotoBreadalbyandstaywithher？'
　　Gudrunliftedhershouldersinalowshrug。
　　`Afterall，she'sgotthesensetoknowwe'renotjusttheordinaryrun，'saidGudrun。`Whateversheis，she'snotafool。AndI'dratherhavesomebodyIdetested，thantheordinarywomanwhokeepstoherownset。
　　HermioneRoddicedoesriskherselfinsomerespects。'
　　Ursulaponderedthisforatime。
　　`Idoubtit，'shereplied。`Reallysherisksnothing。Isupposeweoughttoadmireherforknowingshecaninviteus——schoolteachers——
　　andrisknothing。'
　　`Precisely！'saidGudrun。`Thinkofthemyriadsofwomenthatdaren'tdoit。Shemakesthemostofherprivileges——that'ssomething。Isuppose，really，weshoulddothesame，inherplace。'
　　`No，'saidUrsula。`No。Itwouldboreme。Icouldn'tspendmytimeplayinghergames。It'sinfradig。'
　　Thetwosisterswerelikeapairofscissors，snippingoffeverythingthatcameathwartthem;orlikeaknifeandawhetstone，theonesharpenedagainsttheother。
　　`Ofcourse，'criedUrsulasuddenly，`sheoughttothankherstarsifwewillgoandseeher。Youareperfectlybeautiful，athousandtimesmorebeautifulthaneversheisorwas，andtomythinking，athousandtimesmorebeautifullydressed，forsheneverlooksfreshandnatural，likeaflower，alwaysold，thought—out;andwearemoreintelligentthanmostpeople。'
　　`Undoubtedly！'saidGudrun。
　　`Anditoughttobeadmitted，simply，'saidUrsula。
　　`Certainlyitought，'saidGudrun。`Butyou'llfindthatthereallychicthingistobesoabsolutelyordinary，soperfectlycommonplaceandlikethepersoninthestreet，thatyoureallyareamasterpieceofhumanity，notthepersoninthestreetactually，buttheartisticcreationofher——'
　　`Howawful！'criedUrsula。
　　`Yes，Ursula，itisawful，inmostrespects。Youdaren'tbeanythingthatisn'tamazinglyaterre，somuchaterrethatitistheartisticcreationofordinariness。'
　　`It'sverydulltocreateoneselfintonothingbetter，'laughedUrsula。
　　`Verydull！'retortedGudrun。`ReallyUrsula，itisdull，that'sjusttheword。Onelongstobehigh—flown，andmakespeecheslikeCorneille，afterit。'
　　Gudrunwasbecomingflushedandexcitedoverherowncleverness。
　　`Strut，'saidUrsula。`Onewantstostrut，tobeaswanamonggeese。'
　　`Exactly，'criedGudrun，`aswanamonggeese。'
　　`Theyareallsobusyplayingtheuglyduckling，'criedUrsula，withmockinglaughter。`AndIdon'tfeelabitlikeahumbleandpatheticuglyduckling。Idofeellikeaswanamonggeese——Ican'thelpit。Theymakeonefeelso。AndIdon'tcarewhattheythinkofme。fem'enfiche。'
　　GudrunlookedupatUrsulawithaqueer，uncertainenvyanddislike。
　　`Ofcourse，theonlythingtodoistodespisethemall——justall，'
　　shesaid。
　　Thesisterswenthomeagain，toreadandtalkandwork，andwaitforMonday，forschool。Ursulaoftenwonderedwhatelseshewaitedfor，besidesthebeginningandendoftheschoolweek，andthebeginningandendoftheholidays。Thiswasawholelife！Sometimesshehadperiodsoftighthorror，whenitseemedtoherthatherlifewouldpassaway，andbegone，withouthavingbeenmorethanthis。Butsheneverreallyacceptedit。Herspiritwasactive，herlifelikeashootthatisgrowingsteadily，butwhichhasnotyetcomeaboveground。
　　WomenInLove:Chapter5CHAPTERVIntheTrainONEDAYatthistimeBirkinwascalledtoLondon。
　　Hewasnotveryfixedinhisabode。HehadroomsinNottingham，becausehisworklaychieflyinthattown。ButoftenhewasinLondon，orinOxford。
　　Hemovedaboutagreatdeal，hislifeseemeduncertain，withoutanydefiniterhythm，anyorganicmeaning。
　　OntheplatformoftherailwaystationhesawGeraldCrich，readinganewspaper，andevidentlywaitingforthetrain。Birkinstoodsomedistanceoff，amongthepeople。Itwasagainsthisinstincttoapproachanybody。
　　Fromtimetotime，inamannercharacteristicofhim，Geraldliftedhisheadandlookedround。Eventhoughhewasreadingthenewspaperclosely，hemustkeepawatchfuleyeonhisexternalsurroundings。Thereseemedtobeadualconsciousnessrunninginhim。Hewasthinkingvigorouslyofsomethinghereadinthenewspaper，andatthesametimehiseyeranoverthesurfacesoftheliferoundhim，andhemissednothing。Birkin，whowaswatchinghim，wasirritatedbyhisduality。Henoticedtoo，thatGeraldseemedalwaystobeatbayagainsteverybody，inspiteofhisqueer，genial，socialmannerwhenroused。
　　NowBirkinstartedviolentlyatseeingthisgeniallookflashontoGerald'sface，atseeingGeraldapproachingwithhandoutstretched。
　　`Hallo，Rupert，whereareyougoing？'
　　`London。Soareyou，Isuppose。'
　　`Yes——'
　　Gerald'seyeswentoverBirkin'sfaceincuriosity。
　　`We'lltraveltogetherifyoulike，'hesaid。
　　`Don'tyouusuallygofirst？'askedBirkin。
　　`Ican'tstandthecrowd，'repliedGerald。`Butthird'llbeallright。
　　There'sarestaurantcar，wecanhavesometea。'
　　Thetwomenlookedatthestationclock，havingnothingfurthertosay。
　　`Whatwereyoureadinginthepaper？'Birkinasked。
　　Geraldlookedathimquickly。
　　`Isn'titfunny，whattheydoputinthenewspapers，'hesaid。
　　`Herearetwoleaders——'heheldouthisDailyTelegraph，`fulloftheordinarynewspapercant——'hescannedthecolumnsdown——`andthenthere'sthislittle——Idunnowhatyou'dcallit，essay，almost——
　　appearingwiththeleaders，andsayingtheremustariseamanwhowillgivenewvaluestothings，giveusnewtruths，anewattitudetolife，orelseweshallbeacrumblingnothingnessinafewyears，acountryinruin——'
　　`Isupposethat'sabitofnewspapercant，aswell，'saidBirkin。
　　`Itsoundsasifthemanmeantit，andquitegenuinely，'saidGerald。
　　`Giveittome，'saidBirkin，holdingouthishandforthepaper。
　　Thetraincame，andtheywentonboard，sittingoneithersidealittletable，bythewindow，intherestaurantcar。Birkinglancedoverhispaper，thenlookedupatGerald，whowaswaitingforhim。
　　`Ibelievethemanmeansit，'hesaid，`asfarashemeansanything。'
　　`Anddoyouthinkit'strue？Doyouthinkwereallywantanewgospel？'
　　askedGerald。
　　Birkinshruggedhisshoulders。
　　`Ithinkthepeoplewhosaytheywantanewreligionarethelasttoacceptanythingnew。Theywantnoveltyrightenough。Buttostarestraightatthislifethatwe'vebroughtuponourselves，andrejectit，absolutelysmashuptheoldidolsofourselves，thatwesh'llneverdo。You'vegotverybadlytowanttogetridoftheold，beforeanythingnewwillappear——evenintheself。'
　　Geraldwatchedhimclosely。
　　`Youthinkweoughttobreakupthislife，juststartandletfly？'
　　heasked。
　　`Thislife。YesIdo。We'vegottobustitcompletely，orshrivelinsideit，asinatightskin。Foritwon'texpandanymore。'
　　TherewasaqueerlittlesmileinGerald'seyes，alookofamusement，calmandcurious。
　　`Andhowdoyouproposetobegin？Isupposeyoumean，reformthewholeorderofsociety？'heasked。
　　Birkinhadaslight，tensefrownbetweenthebrows。Hetoowasimpatientoftheconversation。
　　`Idon'tproposeatall，'hereplied。`Whenwereallywanttogoforsomethingbetter，weshallsmashtheold。Untilthen，anysortofproposal，ormakingproposals，isnomorethanatiresomegameforself—importantpeople。'
　　ThelittlesmilebegantodieoutofGerald'seyes，andhesaid，lookingwithacoolstareatBirkin:
　　`Soyoureallythinkthingsareverybad？'
　　`Completelybad。'
　　Thesmileappearedagain。
　　`Inwhatway？'
　　`Everyway，'saidBirkin。`Wearesuchdrearyliars。Ouroneideaistolietoourselves。Wehaveanidealofaperfectworld，cleanandstraightandsufficient。Sowecovertheearthwithfoulness;lifeisablotchoflabour，likeinsectsscurryinginfilth，sothatyourcolliercanhaveapianoforteinhisparlour，andyoucanhaveabutlerandamotor—carinyourup—to—datehouse，andasanationwecansporttheRitz，ortheEmpire，GabyDeslysandtheSundaynewspapers。Itisverydreary。'
　　Geraldtookalittletimetore—adjusthimselfafterthistirade。
　　`Wouldyouhaveuslivewithouthouses——returntonature？'heasked。
　　`Iwouldhavenothingatall。Peopleonlydowhattheywanttodo——
　　andwhattheyarecapableofdoing。Iftheywerecapableofanythingelse，therewouldbesomethingelse。'
　　AgainGeraldpondered。HewasnotgoingtotakeoffenceatBirkin。
　　`Don'tyouthinkthecollier'spianoforte，asyoucallit，isasymbolforsomethingveryreal，arealdesireforsomethinghigher，inthecollier'slife？'
　　`Higher！'criedBirkin。`Yes。Amazingheightsofuprightgrandeur。Itmakeshimsomuchhigherinhisneighbouringcollier'seyes。Heseeshimselfreflectedintheneighbouringopinion，likeinaBrockenmist，severalfeettalleronthestrengthofthepianoforte，andheissatisfied。HelivesforthesakeofthatBrockenspectre，thereflectionofhimselfinthehumanopinion。Youdothesame。Ifyouareofhighimportancetohumanityyouareofhighimportancetoyourself。Thatiswhyyouworksohardatthemines。Ifyoucanproducecoaltocookfivethousanddinnersaday，youarefivethousandtimesmoreimportantthanifyoucookedonlyyourowndinner。'
　　`IsupposeIam，'laughedGerald。
　　`Can'tyousee，'saidBirkin，`thattohelpmyneighbourtoeatisnomorethaneatingmyself。"Ieat，thoueatest，heeats，weeat，youeat，theyeat"——andwhatthen？Whyshouldeverymandeclinethewholeverb。
　　Firstpersonsingularisenoughforme。'
　　`You'vegottostartwithmaterialthings，'saidGerald。WhichstatementBirkinignored。
　　`Andwe'vegottoliveforsomething，we'renotjustcattlethatcangrazeandhavedonewithit，'saidGerald。
　　`Tellme，'saidBirkin。`Whatdoyoulivefor？'
　　Gerald'sfacewentbaffled。
　　`WhatdoIlivefor？'herepeated。`IsupposeIlivetowork，toproducesomething，insofarasIamapurposivebeing。Apartfromthat，IlivebecauseIamliving。'
　　`Andwhat'syourwork？Gettingsomanymorethousandsoftonsofcoaloutoftheeartheveryday。Andwhenwe'vegotallthecoalwewant，andalltheplushfurniture，andpianofortes，andtherabbitsareallstewedandeaten，andwe'reallwarmandourbelliesarefilledandwe'relisteningtotheyoungladyperformingonthepianoforte——whatthen？Whatthen，whenyou'vemadearealfairstartwithyourmaterialthings？'
　　Geraldsatlaughingatthewordsandthemockinghumouroftheotherman。Buthewascogitatingtoo。
　　`Wehaven'tgotthereyet，'hereplied。`Agoodmanypeoplearestillwaitingfortherabbitandthefiretocookit。'
　　`SowhileyougetthecoalImustchasetherabbit？'saidBirkin，mockingatGerald。
　　`Somethinglikethat，'saidGerald。
　　Birkinwatchedhimnarrowly。Hesawtheperfectgood—humouredcallousness，evenstrange，glisteningmalice，inGerald，glisteningthroughtheplausibleethicsofproductivity。
　　`Gerald，'hesaid，`Iratherhateyou。'
　　`Iknowyoudo，'saidGerald。`Whydoyou？'
　　Birkinmusedinscrutablyforsomeminutes。
　　`Ishouldliketoknowifyouareconsciousofhatingme，'hesaidatlast。`Doyoueverconsciouslydetestme——hatemewithmystichate？ThereareoddmomentswhenIhateyoustarrily。'
　　Geraldwasrathertakenaback，evenalittledisconcerted。Hedidnotquiteknowwhattosay。
　　`Imay，ofcourse，hateyousometimes，'hesaid。`ButI'mnotawareofit——neveracutelyawareofit，thatis。'
　　`Somuchtheworse，'saidBirkin。
　　Geraldwatchedhimwithcuriouseyes。Hecouldnotquitemakehimout。
　　`Somuchtheworse，isit？'herepeated。
　　Therewasasilencebetweenthetwomenforsometime，asthetrainranon。InBirkin'sfacewasalittleirritabletension，asharpknittingofthebrows，keenanddifficult。Geraldwatchedhimwarily，carefully，rathercalculatingly，forhecouldnotdecidewhathewasafter。
　　SuddenlyBirkin'seyeslookedstraightandoverpoweringintothoseoftheotherman。
　　`Whatdoyouthinkistheaimandobjectofyourlife，Gerald？'heasked。
　　AgainGeraldwastakenaback。Hecouldnotthinkwhathisfriendwasgettingat。Washepokingfun，ornot？
　　`Atthismoment，Icouldn'tsayoff—hand，'hereplied，withfaintlyironichumour。
　　`Doyouthinkloveisthebe—allandtheend—alloflife？'Birkinasked，withdirect，attentiveseriousness。
　　`Ofmyownlife？'saidGerald。