TheminuteIsawitwasgreenIwassorry,andbegantoreflect—
reflectionisthebeginningofreform。Ifyoudon'treflectwhenyoucommitacrimethenthatcrimeisofnouse;itmightjustaswellhavebeencommittedbysomeoneelse。Youmustreflectorthevalueislost;youarenotvaccinatedagainstcommittingitagain。
Ibegantoreflect。Isaidtomyself:"Whatoughtaboytodowhohasstolenagreenwatermelon？WhatwouldGeorgeWashingtondo,thefatherofhiscountry,theonlyAmericanwhocouldnottellalie？
Whatwouldhedo？Thereisonlyoneright,high,noblethingforanyboytodowhohasstolenawatermelonofthatclass:hemustmakerestitution;hemustrestorethatstolenpropertytoitsrightfulowner。"IsaidIwoulddoitwhenImadethatgoodresolution。I
feltittobeanoble,upliftingobligation。Iroseupspirituallystrongerandrefreshed。Icarriedthatwatermelonback—whatwasleftofit—andrestoredittothefarmer,andmadehimgivemearipeoneinitsplace。
Nowyouseethatthisconstantimpactofcrimeuponcrimeprotectsyouagainstfurthercommissionofcrime。Itbuildsyouup。Amancan'tbecomemorallyperfectbystealingoneorathousandgreenwatermelons,buteverylittlehelps。
Iwasatagreatschoolyesterday（St。Paul's）,whereforfourhundredyearstheyhavebeenbusywithbrains,andbuildingupEnglandbyproducingPepys,Miltons,andMarlboroughs。Sixhundredboyslefttonothingintheworldbuttheoreticalmorality。Iwantedtobecometheprofessorofpracticalmorality,butthehighmasterwasaway,soIsupposeIshallhavetogoonmakingmyliving—thesameoldway—
byaddingpracticaltotheoreticalmorality。
WhataretheglorythatwasGreece,thegrandeurthatwasRome,comparedtothegloryandgrandeurandmajestyofaperfectedmoralitysuchasyouseebeforeyou？
TheNewVagabondsareoldvagabonds（undergoingtheoldsortofreform）。Youdrankmyhealth;IhopeIhavenotbeenunuseful。Takethissystemofmoralitytoyourhearts。Takeithometoyourneighborsandyourgraves,andIhopethatitwillbealongtimebeforeyouarrivethere。
LAYMAN'SSERMON。
TheYoungMen'sChristianAssociationaskedMr。ClemenstodeliveralaysermonattheMajesticTheatre,NewYork,March4,1906。Morethanfivethousandyoungmentriedtogetintothetheatre,andinashorttimetrafficwaspracticallystoppedintheadjacentstreets。
Thepolicereserveshadtobecalledouttothinthecrowd。DoctorFagnanihadsaidsomethingbeforeaboutthepoliceepisode,andMr。
Clemenstookitup。
IHAVEbeenlisteningtowhatwassaidhere,andthereisinitalessonofcitizenship。Youcreatedthepolice,andyouareresponsibleforthem。Onemustpause,therefore,beforecriticisingthemtooharshly。Theyarecitizens,justasweare。Alittleofcitizenshipoughttobetaughtatthemother'skneeandinthenursery。
Citizenshipiswhatmakesarepublic;monarchiescangetalongwithoutit。Whatkeepsarepubliconitslegsisgoodcitizenship。
Organizationisnecessaryinallthings。Itisevennecessaryinreform。Iwasanorganizationmyselfonce—fortwelvehours。IwasinChicagoafewyearsagoabouttodepartforNewYork。TherewerewithmeMr。Osgood,apublisher,andastenographer。Ipickedoutastate—roomonatrain,theprincipalfeatureofwhichwasthatitcontainedtheprivilegeofsmoking。Thetrainhadstartedbutashorttimewhentheconductorcameinandsaidthattherehadbeenamistakemade,andaskedthatwevacatetheapartment。Irefused,butwhenIwentoutontheplatformOsgoodandthestenographeragreedtoacceptasection。Theyweretoomodest。
Now,Iamnotmodest。Iwasbornmodest,butitdidn'tlast。I
assertedmyself,insisteduponmyrights,andfinallythePullmanconductorandthetrainconductorcapitulated,andIwasleftinpossession。
Iwentintothedining—carthenextmorningforbreakfast。
OrdinarilyIonlycareforcoffeeandrolls,butthisparticularmorningIespiedanimportant—lookingmanontheothersideofthecareatingbroiledchicken。Iaskedforbroiledchicken,andIwastoldbythewaiterandlaterbythedining—carconductorthattherewasnobroiledchicken。Theremusthavebeenanargument,forthePullmanconductorcameinandremarked:"Ifhewantsbroiledchicken,giveittohim。Ifyouhaven'tgotitonthetrain,stopsomewhere。Itwillbebetterforallconcerned！"Igotthechicken。
Itisfromexperiencessuchasthesethatyougetyoureducationoflife,andyoustringthemintojewelsorintotinware,asyoumaychoose。Ihavereceivedrecentlyseverallettersaskingmycounseloradvice。Theprincipalrequestisforsomeincidentthatmayprovehelpfultotheyoung。Therewerealotofincidentsinmycareertohelpmealong—sometimestheyhelpedmealongfasterthanIwantedtogo。
Hereissucharequest。ItisatelegramfromJoplin,Missouri,anditreads:"Inwhatoneofyourworkscanwefindthedefinitionofagentleman？"
Ihavenotansweredthattelegram,either;Icouldn't。Itseemstomethatifanymanhasjustmercifulandkindlyinstinctshewouldbeagentleman,forhewouldneednothingelseintheworld。
Ireceivedtheotherdayaletterfrommyoldfriend,WilliamDeanHowells—Howells,theheadofAmericanliterature。Nooneisabletostandwithhim。Heisanold,oldfriendofmine,andhewritesme,"To—morrowIshallbesixty—nineyearsold。"Why,IamsurprisedatHowellswritingthat！Ihaveknownhimlongerthanthat。I'msorrytoseeamantryingtoappearsoyoung。Let'ssee。Howellssaysnow,"IseeyouhavebeenburyingPatrick。Isupposehewasold,too。"
No,hewasneverold—Patrick。Hecametousthirty—sixyearsago。
HewasmycoachmanonthemorningthatIdrovemyyoungbridetoournewhome。HewasayoungIrishman,slender,tall,lithe,honest,truthful,andheneverchangedinallhislife。Hereallywaswithusbuttwenty—fiveyears,forhedidnotgowithustoEurope,butheneverregardedthatasseparation。Asthechildrengrewuphewastheirguide。Hewasallhonor,honesty,andaffection。HewaswithusinNewHampshire,withuslastsummer,andhishairwasjustasblack,hiseyeswerejustasblue,hisformjustasstraight,andhisheartjustasgoodasonthedaywefirstmet。InallthelongyearsPatricknevermadeamistake。Heneverneededanorder,heneverreceivedacommand。Heknew。Ihavebeenaskedformyideaofanidealgentleman,andIgiveittoyou—PatrickMcAleer。
UNIVERSITYSETTLEMENTSOCIETY。
Aftertheseriousaddressesweremade,SethLowintroducedMr。
ClemensattheSettlementHouse,February2,1901。
THEolderwegrowthegreaterbecomesourwonderathowmuchignoranceonecancontainwithoutburstingone'sclothes。TendaysagoIdidnotknowanythingabouttheUniversitySettlementexceptwhatI'dreadinthepamphletssentme。Now,afterbeinghereandhearingMrs。HewittandMrs。Thomas,itseemstomeIknowofnothinglikeitatall。It'sacharitythatcarriesnohumiliationwithit。
Marvellousitis,tothinkofschoolswhereyoudon'thavetodrivethechildreninbutdrivethemout。Itwasnotsoinmyday。
Down—stairsjustnowIsawadancinglessongoingon。Youmustpayacentforalesson。Youcan'tgetitfornothing。That'sthereasonI
neverlearnedtodance。
Butitwasthepawnbroker'sshopyouhaveherethatinterestedmemightily。I'veknownsomethingaboutpawnbrokers'shopsinmytime,buthereyouhaveawonderfulplan。Theordinarypawnbrokercharges,thirty—sixpercent;ayearforaloan,andI'vepaidmoremyself,buthereamanorwomanindistresscanobtainaloan。foronepercent。amonth！It'swonderful！
I'vebeeninterestedinallI'veheardto—day,especiallyintheromancesrecountedbyMrs。Thomas,whichremindsmethatIhavearomanceofmyowninmyautobiography,whichIambuildingfortheinstructionoftheworld。
InSanFrancisco,manyyearsago,whenIwasanewspaperreporter（perhapsIshouldsayIhadbeenandwaswillingtobe）,apawnbrokerwastakingcareofwhatpropertyIhad。Therewasafriendofmine,apoet,outofajob,andhewashavingahardtimeofit,too。Therewaspassageinit,butIguessI'vegottokeepthatfortheautobiography。
Well,myfriendthepoetthoughthislifewasafailure,andI
toldhimIthoughtitwas,andthenhesaidhethoughtheoughttocommitsuicide,andIsaid"allright,"whichwasdisinterestedadvicetoafriendintrouble;but,likeallsuchadvice,therewasjustalittlebitofself—interestbackofit,forifIcouldgeta"scoop"
ontheothernewspapersIcouldgetajob。
Thepoetcouldbespared,andso,largelyforhisowngoodandpartlyformine,Ikeptthethinginhismind,whichwasnecessary,aswould—besuicidesareverychangeableandhardtoholdtotheirpurpose。Hehadapreferenceforapistol,whichwasanextravagance,forwehadn'tenoughbetweenustohireapistol。Aforkwouldhavebeeneasier。
Andsoheconcludedtodrownhimself,andIsaiditwasanexcellentidea—theonlytroublebeingthathewassogoodaswimmer。Sowewentdowntothebeach。Iwentalongtoseethatthethingwasdoneright。Thensomethingmostromantichappened。Therecameinontheseasomethingthathadbeenonitswayforthreeyears。ItrolledinacrossthebroadPacificwithamessagethatwasfullofmeaningtothatpoorpoetandcastitselfathisfeet。Itwasalife—preserver！
Thiswasacomplication。AndthenIhadanidea—heneverhadany,especiallywhenhewasgoingtowritepoetry;Isuggestedthatwepawnthelife—preserverandgetarevolver。
Thepawnbrokergaveusanoldderringerwithabulletasbigasahickorynut。Whenheheardthatitwasonlyapoetthatwasgoingtokillhimselfhedidnotquibble。Well,wesucceededinsendingabulletrightthroughhishead。Itwasaterriblemomentwhenheplacedthatpistolagainsthisforeheadandstoodforaninstant。Isaid,"Oh,pullthetrigger！"andhedid,andcleanedoutallthegraymatterinhisbrains。Itcarriedthepoeticfacultyaway,andnowhe'sausefulmemberofsociety。
Now,therefore,Irealizethatthere'snomorebeneficentinstitutionthanthispennyfundofyours,andIwantallthepoetstoknowthis。Ididthinkaboutwritingyouacheck,butnowIthinkI'llsendyouafewcopiesofwhatoneofyourlittlememberscalledStrawberryFinn。
PUBLICEDUCATIONASSOCIATION。
ADDRESSATAMEETINGOFTHEBERKELEYLYCEUM,NEWYORK,NOVEMBER23,1900。
IDON'TsupposethatIamcalledhereasanexpertoneducation,forthatwouldshowalackofforesightonyourpartandadeliberateintentiontoremindmeofmyshortcomings。
AsIsatherelookingaroundforanideaitstruckmethatIwascalledfortworeasons。Onewastodogoodtome,apoorunfortunatetravellerontheworld'swideocean,bygivingmeaknowledgeofthenatureandscopeofyoursocietyandlettingmeknowthatothersbesidemyselfhavebeenofsomeuseintheworld。TheotherreasonthatIcanseeisthatyouhavecalledmetoshowbywayofcontrastwhateducationcanaccomplishifadministeredintherightsortofdoses。
Yourworthypresidentsaidthattheschoolpictures,whichhavereceivedtheadmirationoftheworldattheParisExposition,havebeensenttoRussia,andthiswasacomplimentfromthatGovernment—
whichisverysurprisingtome。Why,itisonlyanhoursinceIreadacablegraminthenewspapersbeginning"RussiaProposestoRetrench。"I
wasnotexpectingsuchathunderbolt,andIthoughtwhatahappythingitwillbeforRussianswhentheretrenchmentwillbringhomethethirtythousandRussiantroopsnowinManchuria,toliveinpeacefulpursuits。IthoughtthiswaswhatGermanyshoulddoalsowithoutdelay,andthatFranceandalltheothernationsinChinashouldfollowsuit。
WhyshouldnotChinabefreefromtheforeigners,whoareonlymakingtroubleonhersoil？Iftheywouldonlyallgohome,whatapleasantplaceChinawouldbefortheChinese！WedonotallowChinamentocomehere,andIsayinallseriousnessthatitwouldbeagracefulthingtoletChinadecidewhoshallgothere。
ChinaneverwantedforeignersanymorethanforeignerswantedChinamen,andonthisquestionIamwiththeBoxerseverytime。TheBoxerisapatriot。Helovedhiscountrybetterthanhedoesthecountriesofotherpeople。Iwishhimsuccess。TheBoxerbelievesindrivingusoutofhiscountry。IamaBoxertoo,forIbelieveindrivinghimoutofourcountry。
WhenIreadtheRussiandespatchfurthermydreamofworldpeacevanished。Itsaidthatthevastexpenseofmaintainingthearmyhadmadeitnecessarytoretrench,andsotheGovernmenthaddecidedthattosupportthearmyitwouldbenecessarytowithdrawtheappropriationfromthepublicschools。Thisisamonstrousideatous。
Webelievethatoutofthepublicschoolgrowsthegreatnessofanation。
Itiscurioustoreflecthowhistoryrepeatsitselftheworldover。Why,IrememberthesamethingwasdonewhenIwasaboyontheMississippiRiver。Therewasapropositioninatownshiptheretodiscontinuepublicschoolsbecausetheyweretooexpensive。Anoldfarmerspokeupandsaidiftheystoppedtheschoolstheywouldnotsaveanything,becauseeverytimeaschoolwasclosedajailhadtobebuilt。
It'slikefeedingadogonhisowntail。He'llnevergetfat。I
believeitisbettertosupportschoolsthanjails。
TheworkofyourassociationisbetterandshowsmorewisdomthantheCzarofRussiaandallhispeople。Thisisnotmuchofacompliment,butit'sthebestI'vegotinstock。
EDUCATIONANDCITIZENSHIP。
OntheeveningofMay14,1908,thealumnioftheCollegeoftheCityofNewYorkcelebratedtheopeningofthenewcollegebuildingsatabanquetintheWaldorf—Astoria。Mr。ClemensfollowedMayorMcClellan。
IAGREEDwhentheMayorsaidthattherewasnotamanwithinhearingwhodidnotagreethatcitizenshipshouldbeplacedaboveeverythingelse,evenlearning。
Haveyoueverthoughtaboutthis？Isthereacollegeinthewholecountrywherethereisachairofgoodcitizenship？Thereisakindofbadcitizenshipwhichistaughtintheschools,butnorealgoodcitizenshiptaught。Therearesomewhichteachinsanecitizenship,bastardcitizenship,butthatisall。Patriotism！Yes;butpatriotismisusuallytherefugeofthescoundrel。Heisthemanwhotalkstheloudest。
YoucanbeginthatchairofcitizenshipintheCollegeoftheCityofNewYork。Youcanplaceitabovemathematicsandliterature,andthatiswhereitbelongs。
WeusedtotrustinGod。Ithinkitwasin1863thatsomegeniussuggestedthatitbeputuponthegoldandsilvercoinswhichcirculatedamongtherich。Theydidn'tputitonthenickelsandcoppersbecausetheydidn'tthinkthepoorfolkshadanytrustinGod。
Goodcitizenshipwouldteachaccuracyofthinkingandaccuracyofstatement。Now,thatmottoonthecoinisanoverstatement。ThoseCongressmenhadnorighttocommitthiswholecountrytoatheologicaldoctrine。Butsincetheydid,Congressoughttostatewhatourcreedshouldbe。
TherewasneveranationintheworldthatputitswholetrustinGod。Itisastatementmadeoninsufficientevidence。Leavingoutthegamblers,theburglars,andtheplumbers,perhapswedoputourtrustinGodafterafashion。But,afterall,itisanoverstatement。
Ifthecholeraorblackplagueshouldcometotheseshores,perhapsthebulkofthenationwouldpraytobedeliveredfromit,buttherestwouldputtheirtrustintheHealthBoardoftheCityofNewYork。
Ireadinthepaperswithinthelastdayortwoofapooryounggirlwhotheysaidwasaleper。Didthepeopleinthatpopuloussectionofthecountrywhereshewas—didtheyputtheirtrustinGod？Thegirlwasafflictedwiththeleprosy,adiseasewhichcannotbecommunicatedfromonepersontoanother。
Yet,insteadofputtingtheirtrustinGod,theyharriedthatpoorcreature,shelterlessandfriendless,fromplacetoplace,exactlyastheydidintheMiddleAges,whentheymadeleperswearbells,sothatpeoplecouldbewarnedoftheirapproachandavoidthem。
PerhapsthosepeopleintheMiddleAgesthoughttheywereputtingtheirtrustinGod。
ThePresidentorderedtheremovalofthatmottofromthecoin,andI
thoughtthatitwaswell。Ithoughtthatoverstatementshouldnotstaythere。ButIthinkitwouldbetterread,"WithincertainjudiciouslimitationswetrustinGod,"andifthereisn'tenoughroomonthecoinforthis,why,enlargethecoin。
NowIwanttotellastoryaboutjumpingatconclusions。ItwastoldtomebyBramStoker,anditconcernsachristening。Therewasalittleclergymanwhowaspronetojumpatconclusionssometimes。Onedayhewasinvitedtoofficiateatachristening。Hewent。Theresattherelatives—intelligent—lookingrelativestheywere。Thelittleclergyman'sinstinctcametohimtomakeagreatspeech。Hewasgiventoflightsoforatorythatway—averydangerousthing,foroftenthewingswhichtakeoneintocloudsoforatoricalenthusiasmarewaxandmeltupthere,anddownyoucome。
Butthelittleclergymancouldn'tresist。Hetookthechildinhisarms,and,holdingit,lookedatitamoment。Itwasn'tmuchofachild。Itwaslittle,likeasweet—potato。Thenthelittleclergymanwaitedimpressively,andthen:"Iseeinyourcountenances,"hesaid,"disappointmentofhim。Iseeyouaredisappointedwiththisbaby。Why？Becauseheissolittle。Myfriends,ifyouhadbutthepoweroflookingintothefutureyoumightseethatgreatthingsmaycomeoflittlethings。Thereisthegreatocean,holdingthenaviesoftheworld,whichcomesfromlittledropsofwaternolargerthanawoman'stears。Therearethegreatconstellationsinthesky,madeupoflittlebitsofstars。Oh,ifyoucouldconsiderhisfutureyoumightseethathemightbecomethegreatestpoetoftheuniverse,thegreatestwarriortheworldhaseverknown,greaterthanCaesar,thanHannibal,than—er—er"（turningtothefather）—"what'shisname？"
Thefatherhesitated,thenwhisperedback:"Hisname？Well,hisnameisMaryAnn。"
COURAGE
COURAGE。
Atabeefsteakdinner,givenbyartists,caricaturists,andhumoristsofNewYorkCity,April18,1908,Mr。Clemens,Mr。H。H。
Rogers,andMr。PatrickMcCarrenweretheguestsofhonor。Eachworeawhiteapron,andeachmadeashortspeech。
INthematterofcourageweallhaveourlimits。Thereneverwasaherowhodidnothavehisbounds。IsupposeitmaybesaidofNelsonandalltheotherswhosecouragehasbeenadvertisedthattherecametimesintheirliveswhentheirbraveryknewithadcometoitslimit。
Ihavefoundmineagoodmanytimes。Sometimesthiswasexpected—
oftenitwasunexpected。Iknowamanwhoisnotafraidtosleepwitharattlesnake,butyoucouldnotgethimtosleepwithasafety—razor。
Ineverhadthecouragetotalkacrossalong,narrowroomI
shouldbeattheendoftheroomfacingalltheaudience。IfIattempttotalkacrossaroomIfindmyselfturningthiswayandthat,andthusatalternateperiodsIhavepartoftheaudiencebehindme。Yououghtnevertohaveanypartoftheaudiencebehindyou;younevercantellwhattheyaregoingtodo。
I'llsitdown。
THEDINNERTOMR。CHOATE。
ATADINNERGIVENINHONOROFAMBASSADOR
JOSEPHH。CHOATEATTHELOTOSCLUB,NOVEMBER24,1901。
Thespeakers,amongothers,were:SenatorDepew,WilliamHenryWhite,SpeakerThomasReed,andMr。Choate。Mr。Clemensspoke,inpart,asfollows:
THEgreatnessofthiscountryrestsontwoanecdotes。ThefirstoneisthatofWashingtonandhishatchet,representingthefoundationoftruespeaking,whichisthecharacteristicofourpeople。Thesecondoneisanoldone,andI'vebeenwaitingtohearitto—night,butasnobodyhastoldityet,Iwilltellit。
You'vehearditbefore,andyou'llhearitmany,manytimesmore。Itisananecdoteofourguest,ofthetimewhenhewasengagedasayoungmanwithagentleHebrew,intheprocessofskinningtheclient。
Themainpartinthatbusinessisthecollectionofthebillforservicesinskinningtheman。"Services"isthetermusedinthatcraftfortheoperationofthatkind—diplomaticinitsnature。
Choate's—co—respondent—madeoutabillfor$500forhisservices,socalled。ButChoatetoldhimhehadbetterleavethemattertohim,andthenextdayhecollectedthebillfortheservicesandhandedtheHebrew$5000,saying,"That'syourhalfoftheloot,"
andinducingthatmemorableresponse:"AlmostthoupersuadestmetobeaChristian。'
Thedeep—thinkersdidn'tmerelylaughwhenthathappened。Theystoppedtothink,andsaid:"There'sarisingman。Hemustberescuedfromthelawandconsecratedtodiplomacy。Thecommercialadvantagesofagreatnationliethereinthatman'skeeping。Wenolongerrequireamantotakecareofourmoralcharacterbeforetheworld。Washingtonandhisanecdotehavedonethat。Werequireamantotakecareofourcommercialprosperity。"
Mr。Choatehascarriedthattraitwithhim,and,asMr。Carnegiehassaid,hehasworkedlikeamoleunderground。
WeseetheresultwhenAmericanrailroadironissoldsocheapinEnglandthatthepoorestfamilycanhaveit。HehassobeguiledthatCabinetofEngland。
Hehasbeenspreadingthecommerceofthisnation,andhasdepressedEnglishcommerceinthesameratio。Thiswastheprincipleunderlyingthatanecdote,andthewisemensawit;theprincipleofgiveandtake—giveoneandtaketen—theprincipleofdiplomacy。
ONSTANLEYANDLIVINGSTONE。
Mr。ClemenswasentertainedatdinnerbytheWhite—friars'Club,London,attheMitreTavern,ontheeveningofAugust6,1872。Inreplytothetoastinhishonorhesaid:
GENTLEMEN,—Ithankyouveryheartilyindeedforthisexpressionofkindnesstowardme。WhatIhavedoneforEnglandandcivilizationinthearduousaffairswhichIhaveengagedin（thatisgood:thatissosmooththatIwillsayitagainandagain）—whatIhavedoneforEnglandandcivilizationinthearduouspartIhaveperformedIhavedonewithasingle—hearteddevotionandwithnohopeofreward。Iamproud,Iamveryproud,thatitwasreservedformetofindDoctorLivingstoneandforMr。Stanleytogetallthecredit。IhuntedforthatmaninAfricaalloverseventy—fiveoronehundredparishes,thousandsandthousandsofmilesinthewildsanddesertsallovertheplace,sometimesridingnegroesandsometimestravellingbyrail。I
didn'tmindtherailoranythingelse,sothatIdidn'tcomeinforthetarandfeathers。IfoundthatmanatUjiji—aplaceyoumayrememberifyouhaveeverbeenthere—anditwasaverygreatsatisfactionthatIfoundhimjustinthenickoftime。Ifoundthatpooroldmandesertedbyhisniggersandbyhisgeographers,desertedbyallofhiskindexceptthegorillas—dejected,miserable,famishing,absolutelyfamishing—buthewaseloquent。
JustasIfoundhimhehadeatenhislastelephant,andhesaidtome:
"GodknowswhereIshallgetanother。"Hehadnothingtowearexcepthisvenerableandhonorablenavalsuit,andnothingtoeatbuthisdiary。
ButIsaidtohim:"Itisallright;Ihavediscoveredyou,andStanleywillbeherebythefour—o'clocktrainandwilldiscoveryouofficially,andthenwewillturntoandhaveareg'largoodtime。"
Isaid:"Cheerup,forStanleyhasgotcorn,ammunition,glassbeads,hymn—books,whiskey,andeverythingwhichthehumanheartcandesire;hehasgotallkindsofvaluables,includingtelegraph—polesandafewcart—loadsofmoney。BythistimecommunicationhasbeenmadewiththelandofBiblesandcivilization,andpropertywilladvance。"Andthenwesurveyedallthatcountry,fromUjiji,throughUnanogoandotherplaces,toUnyanyembe。Imentionthesenamessimplyforyouredification,nothingmore—donotexpectit—
particularlyasintelligencetotheRoyalGeographicalSociety。Andthen,havingfilleduptheoldman,wewerealltoofullforutteranceanddeparted。Wehavesincethenfeastedonhonors。
Stanleyhasreceivedasnuff—boxandIhavereceivedconsiderablesnuff;hehasgottowriteabookandgatherintherestofthecredit,andIamgoingtolevyonthecopyrightandtocollectthemoney。Nothingcomesamisstome—cashorcredit;but,seriously,IdofeelthatStanleyisthechiefmanandanillustriousone,andIdoapplaudhimwithallmyheart。WhetherheisanAmericanoraWelshmanbybirth,orone,orboth,matter'snottome。SofarasIampersonallyconcerned,Iamsimplyheretostayafewmonths,andtoseeEnglishpeopleandtolearnEnglishmannersandcustoms,andtoenjoymyself;sothesimplestthingIcandoistothankyouforthetoastyouhavehonoredmewithandfortheremarksyouhavemade,andtowishhealthandprosperitytotheWhite—friar's'Club,andtosinkdowntomyaccustomedlevel。
HENRYM。STANLEY。
ADDRESSDELIVEREDINBOSTON,NOVEMBER,1886。
Mr。ClemensintroducedMr。Stanley。
LADIESANDGENTLEMEN,ifanyshouldask,Whyisitthatyouarehereasintroducerofthelecturer？IshouldanswerthatIhappenedtobearoundandwasaskedtoperformthisfunction。Iwasquitewillingtodoso,and,astherewasnosortofneedofanintroduction,anyway,itcouldbenecessaryonlythatsomepersoncomeforwardforamomentanddoanunnecessarything,andthisisquiteinmyline。Now,tointroducesoillustriousanameasHenryM。Stanleybyanydetailofwhatthemanhasdoneisclearasidefrommypurpose;thatwouldbestretchingtheunnecessarytoanunconscionabledegree。WhenI
contrastwhatIhaveachievedinmymeasurablybrieflifewithwhathehasachievedinhispossiblybrieferone,theeffectistosweeputterlyawaytheten—storyedificeofmyownself—appreciationandleavenothingbehindbutthecellar。Whenyoucomparetheseachievementsofhiswiththeachievementsofreallygreatmenwhoexistinhistory,thecomparison,Ibelieve,isinhisfavor。IamnotheretodisparageColumbus。
No,Iwon'tdothat;butwhenyoucometoregardtheachievementsofthesetwomen,ColumbusandStanley,fromthestandpointofthedifficultiestheirencountered,theadvantageiswithStanleyandagainstColumbus。Now,ColumbusstartedouttodiscoverAmerica。Well,hedidn'tneedtodoanythingatallbutsitinthecabinofhisshipandholdhisgripandsailstraighton,andAmericawoulddiscoveritself。Hereitwas,barringhispassagethewholelengthandbreadthoftheSouthAmericancontinent,andhecouldn'tgetbyit。
He'dgottodiscoverit。ButStanleystartedouttofindDoctorLivingstone,whowasscatteredabroad,asyoumaysay,overthelengthandbreadthofavastslabofAfricaasbigastheUnitedStates。
Itwasablindkindofsearch。Hewastheworstscatteredofmen。
ButIwillthrowtheweightofthisintroductionupononeverypeculiarfeatureofMr。Stanley'scharacter,andthatishisindestructibleAmericanism—anAmericanismwhichheisproudof。Andinthisdayandtime,whenitisthecustomtoapeandimitateEnglishmethodsandfashion,itislikeabreathoffreshairtostandinthepresenceofthisuntaintedAmericancitizenwhohasbeencaressedandcomplimentedbyhalfofthecrownedheadsofEurope,whocouldclothehisbodyfromhisheadtohisheelswiththeordersanddecorationslavisheduponhim。Andyet,whentheuntitledmyriadsofhisowncountryputouttheirhandsinwelcometohimandgreethim,"Welldone,"throughtheCongressoftheUnitedStates,thatisthecrownthatisworthalltheresttohim。Heisaproductofinstitutionswhichexistinnoothercountryonearth—institutionsthatbringoutallthatisbestandmostheroicinaman。I
introduceHenryM。Stanley。
DINNERTOMR。JEROME。
AdinnertoexpresstheirconfidenceintheintegrityandgoodjudgmentofDistrict—AttorneyJeromewasgivenasDelmonico'sbyoverthreehundredofhisadmirersontheeveningofMay7,1909。
INDEED,thatisverysudden。Iwasnotinformedthattheverdictwasgoingtodependuponmyjudgment,butthatmakesnottheleastdifferenceintheworldwhenyoualreadyknowallaboutit。Itisnotanymatterwhenyouarecalledupontoexpressit;youcangetupanddoit,andmyverdicthasalreadybeenrecordedinmyheartandinmyheadasregardsMr。Jeromeandhisadministrationofthecriminalaffairsofthiscounty。
IagreewitheverythingMr。ChoatehassaidinhisletterregardingMr。Jerome;IagreewitheverythingMr。Shepardhassaid;
andIagreewitheverythingMr。Jeromehassaidinhisowncommendation。AndIthoughtMr。Jeromewasmodestinthat。Ifhehadbeentalkingaboutanotherofficerofthiscounty,hecouldhavepaintedthejoysandsorrowsofofficeandhisvictoriesinevenstrongerlanguagethanhedid。
IvotedforMr。Jeromeinthoseolddays,andIshouldliketovoteforhimagainifherunsforanyoffice。ImovedoutofNewYork,andthatisthereason,Isuppose,Icannotvoteforhimagain。
Theremaybesomeway,butIhavenotfounditout。ButnowIamafarmer—afarmerupinConnecticut,andwinninglaurels。Thosepeoplealreadyspeakwithsuchhighfavor,admiration,ofmyfarming,andtheysaythatIamtheonlymanthathasevercometothatregionwhocouldmaketwobladesofgrassgrowwhereonlythreegrewbefore。