CHAPTERXI
　　ThedayswhenMiltounwasfirstallowedoutofbedwereatimeofmingledjoyandsorrowtoherwhohadnursedhim。Toseehimsittingup,amazedathisownweakness,washappiness,yettothinkthathewouldbenomorewhollydependent,nomorethatsacredthing,ahelplesscreature,broughtherthesadnessofamotherwhosechildnolongerneedsher。Witheveryhourhewouldnowgetfartherfromher,backintothefastnessesofhisownspirit。Witheveryhourshewouldbelesshisnurseandcomforter,morethewomanheloved。Andthoughthatthoughtshoneoutintheobscurefuturelikeaglamorousflower,itbroughttoomuchwistfuluncertaintytothepresent。Shewasverytired,too,nowthatallexcitementwasover——sotiredthatshehardlyknewwhatshedidorwhereshemoved。Butasmilehadbecomesofaithfultohereyesthatitclungthereabovetheshadowsoffatigue,andkepttakingherlipsprisoner。
　　Betweenthetwobronzebustsshehadplacedabowlofliliesofthevalley;andeveryfreenicheinthatroomofbookshadalittlevaseofrosestowelcomeMiltoun'sreturn。
　　Hewaslyingbackinhisbigleatherchair,wrappedinaTurkishgownofLordValleys'——onwhichBarbarahadlaidhands,havingfailedtofindanythingresemblingadressing—gownamongstherbrother'saustereclothing。Theperfumeoflilieshadovercomethescentofbooks,andabee,dusky,adventurer,filledtheroomwithhispleasanthumming。
　　Theydidnotspeak,butsmiledfaintly,lookingatoneanother。Inthisstillmoment,beforepassionhadreturnedtoclaimitsown,theirspiritspassedthroughthesleepyair,andbecameentwined,sothatneithercouldwithdrawthatsoft,slow,encounteringglance。Inmutualcontentment,eachtoeach,closeasmusictothestringsofaviolin,theirspiritsclung——solost,theoneintheother,thatneitherforthatbrieftimeseemedtoknowwhichwasself。
　　Infulfilmentofherresolution,LadyValleys,whohadreturnedtoTownbyamorningtrain,startedwithBarbarafortheTempleaboutthreeintheafternoon,andstoppedatthedoctor'sontheway。ThewholethingwouldbemuchsimplerifEustacewerefittobemovedatoncetoValleysHouse;andwithmuchreliefshefoundthatthedoctorsawnodangerinthiscourse。Therecoveryhadbeenremarkable——
　　touchandgoforbadbrainfeverjustavoided！LordMiltoun'sconstitutionwasextremelysound。Yes,hewouldcertainlyfavouraremoval。Hisroomsweretooconfinedinthisweather。Wellnursed——
　　decidedly）Oh;yes！Quite！Andthedoctor'seyesbecameperhapsatriflemoreintense。Notaprofessional,heunderstood。Itmightbeaswelltohaveanothernurse,iftheyweremakingthechange。Theywouldhavethisladyknockingup。Justso！Yes,hewouldseetothat。Anambulancecarriagehethoughtadvisable。Thatcouldallbearrangedforthisafternoon——atonce——hehimselfwouldlooktoit。
　　TheymighttakeLordMiltounoffjustashewas;themenwouldknowwhattodo。AndwhentheyhadhimatValleysHouse,themomentheshowedinterestinhisfood,downtothesea—downtothesea！Atthistimeofyearnothinglikeit！Thenwithregardtonourishment,hewouldbeinclinedalreadytoshoveinaleetlestimulant,athimblefulperhapsfourtimesadaywithfood——notwithout——mixedwithanegg,witharrowroot,withcustard。Aweekwouldseehimonhislegs,afortnightattheseamakehimasgoodamanasever。
　　Overwork——burningthecandle——aleetlemorewouldhaveseenaverydifferentstateofthings！Quiteso！quiteso！Wouldcomeroundhimselfbeforedinner,andmakesure。Hispatientmightfeelitjustatfirst！HebowedLadyValleysout;andwhenshehadgone,satdownathistelephonewithasmileflickeringonhisclean—cutlips,Greatlyfortifiedbythisinterview,LadyValleysrejoinedherdaughterintheear;butwhileitslidonamongstthemultitudinoustraffic,signsofunwontednervousnessbegantostartoutthroughtheplacidityofherface。
　　"Iwish,mydear,"shesaidsuddenly,"thatsomeoneelsehadtodothis。SupposeEustacerefuses！"
　　"Hewon't,"Barbaraanswered;"shelookssotired,poordear。
　　Besides————"
　　LadyValleysgazedwithcuriosityatthatyoungface,whichhadflushedpink。Yes,thisdaughterofherswasawomanalready,withallawoman'sintuitions。Shesaidgravely:
　　"Itwasarashstrokeofyours,Babs;let'shopeitwon'tleadtodisaster。"
　　Barbarabitherlips。
　　"Ifyou'dseenhimasIsawhim！And,whatdisaster？Mayn'ttheyloveeachother,iftheywant？"
　　LadyValleysswallowedagrimace。Itwassoexactlyherownpointofview。Andyet————！
　　"That'sonlythebeginning,"shesaid;"youforgetthesortofboyEustaceis。"
　　"Whycan'tthepoorthingbeletoutofhercage？"criedBarbara。
　　"Whatgooddoesitdotoanyone？Mother,ifever,whenIammarried,Iwanttogetfree,Iwill！"
　　Thetoneofhervoicewassoquivering,andunlikethehappyvoiceofBarbara,thatLadyValleysinvoluntarilycaughtholdofherhandandsqueezedithard。
　　"Mydearsweet,"shesaid,"don'tlet'stalkofsuchgloomythings。"
　　"Imeanit。Nothingshallstopme。"
　　ButLadyValleys'facehadsuddenlybecomerathergrim。
　　"Sowethink,child;it'snotsosimple。"
　　"Itcan'tbeworse,anyway,"mutteredBarbara,"thanbeingburiedaliveasthatwretchedwomanis。"
　　ForanswerLadyValleysonlymurmured:
　　"Thedoctorpromisedthatambulancecarriageatfouro'clock。WhatamIgoingtosay？"
　　"She'llunderstandwhenyoulookather。She'sthatsort。"
　　ThedoorwasopenedtothembyMrs。Noelherself。
　　ItwasthefirsttimeLadyValleyshadseenherinahouse,andtherewasrealcuriositymixedwiththeassurancewhichmaskedhernervousness。Aprettycreature,evenlovely！Butthequitegenuinesympathyinherwords:"Iamtrulygrateful。Youmustbequitewornout,"didnotpreventheraddinghastily:"Thedoctorsayshemustbegothomeoutofthesehotrooms。We'llwaitherewhileyoutellhim。"
　　Andthenshesawthatitwastrue;thiswomanwasthesortwhounderstood。
　　Leftinthedarkpassage,shepeeredroundatBarbara。
　　Thegirlwasstandingagainstthewallwithherheadthrownback。
　　LadyValleyscouldnotseeherface;butshefeltallofasuddenexceedinglyuncomfortable,andwhispered:
　　"Twomurdersandatheft,Babs;wasn'tit'OurMutualFriend'？"
　　"Mother！"
　　"What？"
　　"Herface！Whenyou'regoingtothrowawayaflower,itlooksatyou！"
　　"Mydear！"murmuredLadyValleys,thoroughlydistressed,"whatthingsyou'resayingto—day！"
　　Thislurkinginadarkpassage,thiswhisperinggirl——itwasallqueer,unlikeanexperienceinproperlife。
　　AndthenthroughthereopeneddoorshesawMiltoun,stretchedoutinachair,verypale,butstillwiththatlookabouthiseyesandlips,whichofallthingsintheworldhadachasteningeffectonLadyValleys,makingherfeelsomehowincurablymundane。
　　Shesaidrathertimidly:
　　"I'msogladyou'rebetter,dear。Whatatimeyoumusthavehad！
　　It'stoobadthatIknewnothingtillyesterday！"
　　ButMiltoun'sanswerwas,asusual,thoroughlydisconcerting。
　　"Thanks,yes！Ihavehadaperfecttime——andhavenowtopayforit,Isuppose。"
　　Heldbackbyhissmilefrombendingtokisshim,poorLadyValleysfidgetedfromheadtofoot。Asuddenimpulseofsheerwomanlinesscausedateartofallonhishand。
　　WhenMiltounperceivedthatmoisture,hesaid:
　　"It'sallright,mother。I'mquitewillingtocome。"
　　Stillwoundedbyhisvoice,LadyValleyshardenedinstantly。Andwhilepreparingfordepartureshewatchedthetwofurtively。Theyhardlylookedatoneanother,andwhentheydid,theireyesbaffledher。Theexpressionwasoutsideherexperience,belongingasitweretoadifferentworld,withitsfaintlysmiling,almostshining,gravity。
　　VastlyrelievedwhenMiltoun,coveredwithafur,hadbeentakendowntothecarriage,shelingeredtospeaktoMrs。Noel。
　　"Weoweyouagreatdebt。Itmighthavebeensomuchworse。Youmustn'tbedisconsolate。Gotobedandhaveagoodlongrest。"Andfromthedoor,shemurmuredagain:"Hewillcomeandthankyou,whenhe'swell。"
　　Descendingthestonestairs,shethought:"'Anonyma'——'Anonyma'——yes,itwasquitethename。"AndsuddenlyshesawBarbaracomerunningupagain。
　　"Whatisit,Babs？"
　　Barbaraanswered:
　　"Eustacewouldlikesomeofthoselilies。"And,passingLadyValleys,shewentonuptoMiltoun'schambers。
　　Mrs。Noelwasnotinthesitting—room,andgoingtothebedroomdoor,thegirllookedin。
　　Shewasstandingbythebed,drawingherhandoverandoverthewhitesurfaceofthepillow。Stealingnoiselesslyback,Barbaracaughtupthebunchoflilies,andfled。
　　CHAPTERXII
　　Miltoun,whoseconstitution,hadthesteel—likequalityofLadyCasterley's,hadaveryrapidconvalescence。And,havingbeguntotakeaninterestinhisfood,hewasallowedtotravelontheseventhdaytoSeaHouseinchargeofBarbara。
　　Thetwospenttheirtimeinalittlesummer—houseclosetothesea;
　　lyingoutonthebeachunderthegroynes;and,asMiltoungrewstronger,motoringandwalkingontheDowns。
　　ToBarbara,keepingaclosewatch,heseemedtranquillyenoughdrinkinginfromNaturewhatwasnecessarytorestorebalanceafterthestruggle,andbreakdownofthepastweeks。Yetshecouldnevergetridofaqueerfeelingthathewasnotreallythereatall;tolookathimwaslikewatchinganuninhabitedhousethatwaswaitingforsomeonetoenter。
　　DuringawholefortnighthedidnotmakeasingleallusiontoMrs。
　　Noel,till,ontheverylastmorning,astheywerewatchingthesea,,hesaidwithhisqueersmile:
　　"Italmostmakesonebelievehertheory,thattheoldgodsarenotdead。Doyoueverseethem,Babs;orareyou,likeme,obtuse？"
　　Certainlyaboutthoselitheinvasionsofthesea—nymphwaves,withashy,streaminghair,flingingthemselvesintothearmsoftheland,therewastheoldpaganrapture,aninexhaustibledelight,apassionatesoftacceptanceofeternalfate,awonderfulacquiescenceintheuntiringmysteryoflife。
　　ButBarbara,everdisconcertedbythattoneinhisvoice,andbythisquickdiveintothewatersofunaccustomedthought,failedtofindananswer。
　　Miltounwenton:
　　"Shesays,too,wecanhearApollosinging。Shallwetry。"
　　Butallthatcamewasthesighofthesea,andofthewindinthetamarisk。
　　"No,"mutteredMiltounatlast,"shealonecanhearit。"
　　AndBarbarasaw,oncemoreonhisfacethatlook,neithersadnorimpatient,butasofoneuninhabitedandwaiting。
　　SheleftSeaHousenextdaytorejoinhermother,who,havingbeentoCowes,andtotheDuchessofGloucester's,wasbackinTownwaitingforParliamenttorise,beforegoingofftoScotland。AndthatsameafternoonthegirlmadeherwaytoMrs。Noel'sflat。Inpayingthisvisitshewasmovednotsomuchbycompassion,asbyuneasiness,andastrangecuriosity。NowthatMiltounwaswellagain,shewasseriouslydisturbedinmind。HadshemadeamistakeinsummoningMrs。Noeltonursehim？
　　Whenshewentintothelittledrawing—roomAudreywassittinginthedeep—cushionedwindow—seatwithabookonherknee;andbythefactthatitwasopenattheindex,Barbarajudgedthatshehadnotbeenreadingtooattentively。Sheshowednosignsofagitationatthesightofhervisitor,noranyeagernesstohearnewsofMiltoun。Butthegirlhadnotbeenfiveminutesintheroombeforethethoughtcametoher:"Why！ShehasthesamelookasEustace！"She,too,waslikeanemptytenement;withoutimpatience,discontent,orgrief—
　　—waiting！Barbarahadscarcelyrealizedthiswithacurioussenseofdiscomposure,whenCourtierwasannounced。WhethertherewasinthisanabsolutecoincidenceorjustthatamountofcalculationwhichmightfollowonhispartfromreceiptofanotewrittenfromSeaHouse——sayingthatMiltounwaswellagain,thatshewascomingupandmeanttogoandthankMrs。Noel——wasnotclear,norwereherownsensations;andshedrewoverherfacethatarmouredlookwhichsheperhapsknewCourtiercouldnotbeartosee。Hisface,atallevents,wasveryredwhenheshookhands。Hehadcome,hetoldMrs。
　　Noel,tosaygood—bye。Hewasdefinitelyoffnextweek。Fightinghadbrokenout;therevolutionariesweregreatlyoutnumbered。Indeedheoughttohavebeentherelongbefore！
　　Barbarahadgoneovertothewindow;sheturnedsuddenly,andsaid:
　　"Youwerepreachingpeacetwomonthsago！"
　　Courtierbowed。
　　"Wearenotallperfectlyconsistent,LadyBarbara。Thesepoordevilshaveaholycause。"
　　BarbaraheldoutherhandtoMrs。Noel。
　　"Youonlythinktheircauseholybecausetheyhappentobeweak。
　　Good—bye,Mrs。Noel;theworldismeantforthestrong,isn'tit！"
　　Sheintendedthattohurthim;andfromthetoneofhisvoice,sheknewithad。
　　"Don't,LadyBarbara;fromyourmother,yes;notfromyou！"
　　"It'swhatIbelieve。Good—bye！"Andshewentout。
　　Shehadtoldhimthatshedidnotwanthimtogo——notyet;andhewasgoing！
　　Butnosoonerhadshegotoutside,afterthatstrangeoutburst,thanshebitherlipstokeepbackanangry,miserablefeeling。Hehadbeenrudetoher,shehadbeenrudetohim;thatwasthewaytheyhadsaidgood—bye！Then,assheemergedintothesunlight,shethought:
　　"Oh！well;hedoesn'tcare,andI'msureIdon't！"
　　Sheheardavoicebehindher。
　　"MayIgetyouacab？"andatoncethesorefeelingbegantodieaway;butshedidnotlookround,onlysmiled,andshookherhead,andmadealittleroomforhimonthepavement。
　　Butthoughtheywalked,theydidnotatfirsttalk。TherewasrisingwithinBarbaraatantalizingdevilofdesiretoknowthefeelingsthatreallylaybehindthatdeferentialgravity,tomakehimshowherhowmuchhereallycared。Shekepthereyesdemurelylowered,butshelettheglimmerofasmileflickeraboutherlips;sheknewtoothathercheekswereglowing,andforthatshewasnotsorry。Wasshenottohaveany——any——washecalmlytogoaway——without————Andshethought:"Heshallsaysomething！Heshallshowme,withoutthathorribleironyofhis！"
　　Shesaidsuddenly:
　　"Thosetwoarejustwaiting——somethingwillhappen！"
　　"Itisprobable,"washisgraveanswer。
　　Shelookedathimthen——itpleasedhertoseehimquiverasifthatglancehadgonerightintohim;andshesaidsoftly:
　　"AndIthinktheywillbequiteright。"
　　Sheknewthosewererecklesswords,norcaredverymuchwhattheymeant;butsheknewtherevoltinthemwouldmovehim。Shesawfromhisfacethatithad;andafteralittlepause,said:
　　"Happinessisthegreatthing,"andwithsoft,wickedslowness:
　　"Isn'tit,Mr。Courtier？"
　　Butallthecheerinesshadgoneoutofhisface,whichhadgrownalmostpale。Heliftedhishand,andletitdrop。Thenshefeltsorry。Itwasjustasifhehadaskedhertosparehim。
　　"Astothat,"hesaid:"Therough,unfortunately,hastobetakenwiththesmooth。Butlife'sfrightfullyjollysometimes。"
　　"Asnow？"
　　Helookedatherwithfirmgravity,andanswered"Asnow。"
　　AsenseofuttermortificationseizedonBarbara。Hewastoostrongforher——hewasquixotic——hewashateful！And,determinednottoshowasign,tobeatleastasstrongashe,shesaidcalmly:
　　"NowIthinkI'llhavethatcab！"
　　Whenshewasinthecab,andhewasstandingwithhishatlifted,shelookedathiminthewaythatwomencan,sothathedidnotrealizethatshehadlooked。
　　CHAPTERXIII
　　WhenMiltouncametothankher,AudreyNoelwaswaitinginthemiddleoftheroom,dressedinwhite,herlipssmiling,herdarkeyessmiling,stillasafloweronawindlessday。
　　Inthatfirstlookpassingbetweenthem,theyforgoteverythingbuthappiness。Swallows,onthefirstdayofsummer,intheirdiscoveryoftheblandair,canneitherrememberthatcoldwindsblow,norimaginethedeathofsunlightontheirfeathers,and,flittinghourafterhouroverthegoldenfields,seemnolongerbirds,butjustthebreathingofanewseason——swallowswerenomoreforgetfulofmisfortunethanwerethosetwo。Hisgazewasasstillasherveryself;herlookathimhadinatthequietudeofallemotion。
　　Whenthey'satdowntotalkitwasasiftheyhadgonebacktothosedaysatMonkland,whenhehadcometohersooftentodiscusseverythinginheavenandearth。Andyet,overthattranquileagerdrinking——inofeachother'spresence,hoveredasortofawe。Itwasthemoodofmorningbeforethesunhassoared。Thedew—greycobwebsenwrappedtheflowersoftheirhearts——yeteveryprisonedflowercouldbeseen。Andheandsheseemedlookingthroughthatwebatthecolourandthedeep—downformsenshroudedsojealously;eachfearedtoomuchtounveiltheother'sheart。Theywerelikeloverswho,ramblinginashywood,neverdarestaytheirbabblingtalkofthetreesandbirdsandlostbluebells,lestinthedeepwatersofakisstheirstarofallthatistocomeshouldfallandbedrowned。Toeachhouritsfamiliar——andthespiritofthathourwasthespiritofthewhiteflowersinthebowlonthewindow—sillaboveherhead。
　　TheyspokeofMonk—land,andMiltoun'sillness;ofhisfirstspeech,hisimpressionsoftheHouseofCommons;ofmusic,Barbara,Courtier,theriver。Hetoldherofhishealth,anddescribedhisdaysdownbythesea。She,asever,spokelittleofherself,persuadedthatitcouldnotinterestevenhim;butshedescribedavisittotheopera;
　　andhowshehadfoundapictureintheNationalGallerywhichremindedherofhim。Toallthesetrivialthingsandcountlessothers,thetoneoftheirvoices——soft,almostmurmuring,withasortofdelightedgentleness——gaveahigh,sweetimportance,ahalothatneitherfortheworldwouldhavedislodgedfromwhereithovered。
　　Itwaspastsixwhenhegotuptogo,andtherehadnotbeenamomenttobreakthecalmofthatsacredfeelinginboththeirhearts。Theypartedwithanothertranquillook,whichseemedtosay:'Itiswellwithus——wehavedrunkofhappiness。'
　　AndinthissameamazingcalmMiltounremainedafterhehadgoneaway,tillabouthalf—pastnineintheevening,hestartedforth,towalkdowntotheHouse。Itwasnowthatsortofwarm,clearnight,whichinthecountryhasfireflymagic,andevenovertheTownspreadsadarkglamour。AndforMiltoun,inthedelightofhisnewhealthandwell—being,witheverysensealiveandclean,towalkthroughthewarmthandbeautyofthisnightwassheerpleasure。HepassedbywayofSt。James'sPark,treadingdownthepurpleshadowsofplane—treeleavesintothepoolsoflamplight,almostwithremorse——sobeautiful,andasifalive,werethey。Thereweremothsabroad,andgnats,bornonthewater,andscentofnew—mowngrassdriftedupfromthelawns。Hisheartfeltlightasaswallowhehadseenthatmorning;swoopingatagreyfeather,carryingitalong,lettingitflutteraway,thendivingtoseizeitagain。Suchwashiselation,thisbeautifulnight！NearingtheHouseofCommons,hethoughthewouldwalkalittlelonger,andturnedwestwardtotheriver:Onthatwarmeveningthewater,withoutmovementatturnoftide,wasliketheblack,snake—smoothhairofNaturestreamingoutonhercouchofEarth,waitingforthecaressofadivinehand。Farawayonthefurther;bankthrobbedsomehugemachine,notstilledasyet。Afewstarswereoutinthedarksky,butnomoontoinvestwithpallorthegleamofthelamps。Scarcelyanyonepassed。Miltounstrolledalongtheriverwall,thencrossed,andcamebackinfrontoftheMansionswhereshelived。Bytherailinghestoodstill。Inthesitting—roomofherlittleflattherewasnolight,butthecasementwindowwaswideopen,andthecrownofwhiteflowersinthebowlonthewindow—sillstillgleamedoutinthedarknesslikeacrescentmoonlyingonitsface。Suddenly,hesawtwopalehandsrise——oneoneithersideofthatbowl,liftit,anddrawitin。Andhequivered,asthoughtheyhadtouchedhim。Againthosetwohandscamefloatingup;theywerepartednowbydarkness;themoonofflowerswasgone,initsplacehadbeensethandfulsofpurpleorcrimsonblossoms。Andapuffofwarmairrisingquicklyoutofthenightdriftedtheirscentofclovesintohisface,sothatheheldhisbreathforfearofcallingouthername。
　　Againthehandshadvanished——throughtheopenwindowtherewasnothingtobeseenbutdarkness;andsucharushoflongingseizedonMiltounasstolefromhimallpowerofmovement。Hecouldhearherplaying,now。Themurmurouscurrentofthatmelodywaslikethenightitself,sighing,throbbing,languorouslysoft。Itseemedthatinthismusicshewascallinghim,tellinghimthatshe,too,waslonging;herheart,too,empty。Itdiedaway;andatthewindowherwhitefigureappeared。Fromthatvisionhecouldnot,nordidhetrytoshrink,butmovedoutintothe,lamplight。Andhesawhersuddenlystretchoutherhandstohim,andwithdrawthemtoherbreast。ThenallsavethemadnessofhislongingdesertedMiltoun。
　　Herandownthelittlegarden,acrossthehall,upthestairs。
　　Thedoorwasopen。Hepassedthrough。There,inthesitting—room,wheretheredflowersinthewindowscentedalltheair,itwasdark,andhecouldnotatfirstseeher,tillagainstthepianohecaughttheglimmerofherwhitedress。Shewassittingwithhandsrestingonthepalenotes。Andfallingonhisknees,heburiedhisfaceagainsther。Then,withoutlookingup,heraisedhishands。Hertearsfellonthemcoveringherheart,thatthrobbedasifthepassionatenightitselfwerebreathinginthere,andallbutthenightandherlovehadstolenforth。
　　CHAPTERXIV
　　OnaspuroftheSussexDowns,inlandfromNettle—Cold,therestandsabeech—grove。Thetravellerwhoentersitoutoftheheatandbrightness,takesofftheshoesofhisspiritbeforeits,sanctity;
　　and,reachingthecentre,acrossthecleanbeech—mat,hesitsrefreshinghisbrowwithair,andsilence。Fortheflowersofsunlightonthegroundunderthosebranchesarepaleandrare,noinsectshum,thebirdsarealmostmute。Andclosetothebordertreesarethequiet,milk—whitesheep,incongregation,escapingfromnoonheat。Here,abovefieldsanddwellings,abovetheceaselessnetworkofmen'sdoings,andthevapouroftheirtalk,thetravellerfeelssolemnity。Allseemsconveyingdivinity——thegreatwhitecloudsmovingtheirwingsabovehim,thefaintlongingmurmuroftheboughs,andinfardistance,thesea……AndforaspacehisrestlessnessandfearknowthepeaceofGod。
　　SoitwaswithMiltounwhenhereachedthistemple,threedaysafterthatpassionatenight,havingwalkedforhours,aloneandfullofconflict。Duringthosethreedayshehadbeenborneforwardonthefloodtide;andnow,tearinghimselfoutofLondon,wheretothinkwasimpossible,hehadcometothesolitudeoftheDownstowalk,andfacehisnewposition。
　　Forthatpositionhesawtobeveryserious。Intheflushoffullrealization,therewasforhimnoquestionofrenunciation。Shewashis,hehers;thatwasdetermined。Butwhat,then,washetodo？
　　Therewasnochanceofhergettingfree。Inherhusband'sview,itseemed,undernocircumstanceswasmarriagedissoluble。Nor,indeed,toMiltounwoulddivorcehavemadethingseasier,believingashedidthatheandshewereguilty,andthatfortheguiltytherecouldbenomarriage。She,itwastrue,askednothingbutjusttobehisinsecret;andthatwasthecourseheknewmostmenwouldtake,withoutfurtherthought。Therewasnomaterialreasonintheworldwhyheshouldnotsoact,andmaintainunchangedeveryothercurrentofhislife。Itwouldbeeasy,usual。And,withherfacultyforself—
　　effacement,heknewshewouldnotbeunhappy。Butconscience,inMiltoun,wasaterribleandfiercething。InthedeliriumofhisillnessithadbecomethatGreatFacewhichhadmarchedoverhim。
　　And,thoughduringtheweeksofhisrecuperation,struggleofallkindhadceased,nowthathehadyieldedtohispassion,conscience,inanewanddismalshape,hadcreptupagaintositabovehisheart:
　　Hemustandwouldletthisman,herhusband,know;butevenifthatcausednoopenscandal,couldhegoondeceivingthosewho,iftheyknewofanillicitlove,wouldnolongerallowhimtobetheirrepresentative？Ifitwereknownthatshewashismistress,hecouldnolongermaintainhispositioninpubliclife——washenotthereforeinhonourbound;ofhisownaccord,toresignit？Nightanddayhewashauntedbythethought:HowcanI,livingindefianceofauthority,pretendtoauthorityovermyfellows？HowcanIremaininpubliclife？Butifhedidnotremaininpubliclife,whatwashetodo？Thatwayoflifewasinhisblood;hehadbeenbredandbornintoit;hadthoughtofnothingelsesincehewasaboy。Therewasnootheroccupationorinterestthatcouldholdhimforamoment——hesawveryplainlythathewouldbecastawayonthewatersofexistence。
　　Sothebattleragedinhisproudandtwistedspirit,whichtookeverythingsohard——hisnatureimperativelycommandinghimtokeephisworkandhispowerforusefulness;hisconsciencetellinghimasurgentlythatifhesoughttowieldauthority,hemustobeyit。
　　Heenteredthebeech—groveattheheightofthismisery,flamingwithrebellionagainstthedilemmawhichFatehadplacedbeforehim;