Attheendofthehalfhourwediscussedtheadvisabilityof"chancingit，"butdecidednotto。"Weshouldnever，"Georgesaid，"confoundfoolhardinesswithcourage。"
　　"Courage，"hecontinued——Georgehadquiteagiftformaxims——"courageisthewisdomofmanhood;foolhardiness，thefollyofyouth。"
　　Hesaidthattogetdownfromthetablewhilethatdogremainedintheroom，wouldclearlyproveustobepossessedofthelatterquality;sowerestrainedourselves，andsaton。
　　Wesatonforoveranhour，bywhichtime，havingbothgrowncarelessoflifeandindifferenttothevoiceofWisdom，wedid"chanceit;"
　　andthrowingthetable—clothoverourwould—bemurderer，chargedforthedoorandgotout。
　　Thenextmorningwecomplainedtoourlandladyofhercarelessnessinleavingwildbeastsabouttheplace，andwegaveherabriefifnotexactlytruthful，historyofthebusiness。
　　Insteadofthetenderwomanlysympathywehadexpected，theoldladysatdownintheeasychairandburstoutlaughing。
　　"What！oldBoozer，"sheexclaimed，"youwasafraidofoldBoozer！
　　Why，blessyou，hewouldn’thurtaworm！Heain’tgotatoothinhishead，heain’t;wehastofeedhimwithaspoon;andI’msurethewaythecatchivieshimaboutmustbeenoughtomakehislifeaburdentohim。Iexpecthewantedyoutonursehim;he’susedtobeingnursed。"
　　Andthatwasthebrutethathadkeptussittingonatable，withourbootsoff，foroveranhouronachillynight！
　　Anotherbull—dogexhibitionthatoccurstomewasonegivenbymyuncle。Hehadhadabulldog——ayoungone——giventohimbyafriend。
　　Itwasagranddog，sohisfriendhadtoldhim;allitwantedwastraining——ithadnotbeenproperlytrained。Myuncledidnotprofesstoknowmuchaboutthetrainingofbull—dogs;butitseemedasimpleenoughmatter，sohethankedtheman，andtookhisprizehomeattheendofarope。
　　"Havewegottoliveinthehousewith_this？_"askedmyaunt，indignantly，comingintotheroomaboutanhourafterthedog’sadvent，followedbythequadrupedhimself，wearinganidioticallyself—satisfiedair。
　　"That！"exclaimedmyuncle，inastonishment;"why，it’sasplendiddog。HisfatherwashonorablymentionedonlylastyearattheAquarium。"
　　"Ah，well，allIcansayis，thathissonisn’tgoingthewaytogethonorablymentionedinthisneighborhood，"repliedmyaunt，withbitterness;"he’sjustfinishedkillingpoorMrs。McSlanger’scat，ifyouwanttoknowwhathehasbeendoing。Andaprettyrowthere’llbeaboutit，too！"
　　"Can’twehushitup？"saidmyuncle。
　　"Hushitup？"retortedmyaunt。"Ifyou’dheardtherow，youwouldn’tsitthereandtalklikeafool。Andifyou’lltakemyadvice，"addedmyaunt，"you’llsettoworkonthis’training，’orwhateveritis，thathasgottobedonetothedog，beforeanyhumanlifeislost。"
　　Myunclewastoobusytodevoteanytimetothedogforthenextdayorso，andallthatcouldbedonewastokeeptheanimalcarefullyconfinedtothehouse。
　　Andanicetimewehadwithhim！Itwasnotthattheanimalwasbad—hearted。Hemeantwell——hetriedtodohisduty。Whatwaswrongwithhimwasthathewastoohard—working。Hewantedtodotoomuch。
　　Hestartedwithanexaggeratedandtotallyerroneousnotionofhisdutiesandresponsibilities。Hisideawasthathehadbeenbroughtintothehouseforthepurposeofpreventinganylivinghumansoulfromcomingnearitandofpreventinganypersonwhomightbychancehavemanagedtoslipinfromeveragainleavingit。
　　Weendeavoredtoinducehimtotakealessexaltedviewofhisposition，butinvain。Thatwastheconceptionhehadformedinhisownmindconcerninghisearthlytask，andthatconceptionheinsistedonlivinguptowith，whatappearedtoustobe，unnecessaryconscientiousness。
　　Hesoeffectuallyfrightenedawayallthetradespeople，thattheyatlastrefusedtoenterthegate。Allthattheywoulddowastobringtheirgoodsanddropthemoverthefenceintothefrontgarden，fromwherewehadtogoandfetchthemaswewantedthem。
　　"Iwishyou’drunintothegarden，"myauntwouldsaytome——Iwasstoppingwiththematthetime——"andseeifyoucanfindanysugar;I
　　thinkthere’ssomeunderthebigrose—bush。Ifnot，you’dbettergotoJones’andordersome。"
　　Andonthecook’sinquiringwhatsheshouldgetreadyforlunch，myauntwouldsay:
　　"Well，I’msure，Jane，Ihardlyknow。Whathavewe？Arethereanychopsinthegarden，orwasitabitofsteakthatInoticedonthelawn？"
　　Onthesecondafternoontheplumberscametodoalittlejobtothekitchenboiler。Thedog，beingengagedatthetimeinthefrontofthehouse，drivingawaythepostman，didnotnoticetheirarrival。Hewasbroken—heartedatfindingthemtherewhenhegotdownstairs，andevidentlyblamedhimselfmostbitterly。Still，theretheywere，allowingtohiscarelessness，andtheonlythingtobedonenowwastoseethattheydidnotescape。
　　Therewerethreeplumbers（italwaystakesthreeplumberstodoajob;
　　thefirstmancomesonaheadtotellyouthatthesecondmanwillbetheresoon，thesecondmancomestosaythathecan’tstop，andthethirdmanfollowstoaskifthefirstmanhasbeenthere）;andthatfaithful，dumbanimalkeptthempinnedupinthekitchen——fancywantingtokeepplumbersinahouselongerthanisabsolutelynecessary！——forfivehours，untilmyunclecamehome;andthebillran:"Selfandtwomenengagedsixhours，repairingboiler—tap，18s。;
　　material，2d。;total18s。2d。"
　　Hetookadisliketothecookfromtheveryfirst。Wedidnotblamehimforthis。Shewasadisagreeableoldwoman，andwedidnotthinkmuchofherourselves。Butwhenitcametokeepingheroutofthekitchen，sothatshecouldnotdoherwork，andmyauntandunclehadtocookthedinnerthemselves，assistedbythehousemaid——awilling—enoughgirl，butnecessarilyinexperienced——wefeltthatthewomanwasbeingsubjecttopersecution。
　　Myuncle，afterthis，decidedthatthedog’strainingmustbenolongerneglected。Themannextdoorbutonealwaystalkedasifheknewalotaboutsportingmatters，andtohimmyunclewentforadviceastohowtosetaboutit。
　　"Oh，yes，"saidtheman，cheerfully，"verysimplething，trainingabull—dog。Wantspatience，that’sall。"
　　"Oh，thatwillbeallright，"saidmyuncle;"itcan’twantmuchmorethanlivinginthesamehousewithhimbeforehe’straineddoes。Howdoyoustart？"
　　"Well，I’lltellyou，"saidnext—door—but—one。"Youtakehimupintoaroomwherethere’snotmuchfurniture，andyoushutthedoorandboltit。"
　　"Isee，"saidmyuncle。
　　"Thenyouplacehimonthefloorinthemiddleoftheroom，andyougodownonyourkneesinfrontofhim，andbegintoirritatehim。"
　　"Oh！"
　　"Yes——andyougoonirritatinghimuntilyouhavemadehimquitesavage。"
　　"Which，fromwhatIknowofthedog，won’ttakelong，"observedmyunclethoughtfully。
　　"Somuchthebetter。Themomenthegetssavagehewillflyatyou。"
　　Myuncleagreedthattheideaseemedplausible。
　　"Hewillflyatyourthroat，"continuedthenext—door—but—oneman，"andthisiswhereyouwillhavetobecareful。_As_hespringstowardyou，and_before_hegetsholdofyou，youmusthithimafairstraightblowonhisnose，andknockhimdown。"
　　"Yes，Iseewhatyoumean。"
　　"Quiteso——well，themomentyouhaveknockedhimdown，hewilljumpupandgoforyouagain。Youmustknockhimdownagain;andyoumustkeepondoingthis，untilthedogisthoroughlycowedandexhausted。
　　Onceheisthoroughlycowed，thething’sdone——dog’sasgentleasalambafterthat。"
　　"Oh！"saysmyuncle，risingfromhischair，"youthinkthatagoodway，doyou？"
　　"Certainly，"repliedthenext—door—but—oneman;"itneverfails。"
　　"Oh！Iwasn’tdoubtingit，"saidmyuncle;"onlyit’sjustoccurredtomethatasyouunderstandtheknackofthesethings，perhaps_you’d_liketocomeinandtry_your_handonthedog？Wecangiveyouaroomquitetoyourselves;andI’llundertakethatnobodycomesneartointerferewithyou。Andif——if，"continuedmyuncle，withthatkindlythoughtfulnesswhicheverdistinguishedhistreatmentofothers，"_if_，byanychance，youshouldmisshittingthedogatthepropercriticalmoment，or，if_you_shouldgetcowedandexhaustedfirst，insteadofthedog——why，Ishallonlybetoopleasedtotakethewholeburdenofthefuneralexpensesonmyownshoulders;andI
　　hopeyouknowmewellenoughtofeelsurethatthearrangementswillbetasteful，and，atthesametime，unostentatious！"
　　Andoutmyunclewalked。
　　Wenextconsultedthebutcher，whoagreedthattheprize—ringmethodwasabsurd，especiallywhenrecommendedtoashort—winded，elderlyfamilyman，andwhorecommended，instead，plentyofout—doorexerciseforthedog，undermyuncle’sstrictsupervisionandcontrol。
　　"Getafairlylongchainforhim，"saidthebutcher，"andtakehimoutforagoodstiffruneveryevening。Neverlethimgetawayfromyou;
　　makehimmindyou，andbringhimhomealwaysthoroughlyexhausted。
　　Yousticktothatforamonthortwo，regular，andyou’llhavehimlikealittlechild。"
　　"Um！——seemstomethatI’mgoingtogetmoretrainingoverhisjobthananybodyelse，"mutteredmyuncle，ashethankedthemanandlefttheshop;"butIsupposeit’sgottobedone。WishI’dneverhadthed———dognow！"
　　So，religiously，everyevening，myunclewouldfastenalongchaintothatpoordog，anddraghimawayfromhishappyhomewiththeideaofexhaustinghim;andthedogwouldcomebackasfreshaspaint，myunclebehindhim，pantingandclamoringforbrandy。
　　Myunclesaidheshouldneverhavedreamedtherecouldhavebeensuchstirringtimesinthisprosaicnineteenthcenturyashehad，trainingthatdog。
　　Oh，thewild，wildscamperingsoverthebreezycommon——thedogtryingtocatchaswallow，andmyuncle，unabletoholdhimback，followingattheotherendofthechain！
　　Oh，themerryfrolicsinthefields，whenthedogwantedtokillacow，andthecowwantedtokillthedog，andtheyeachdodgedroundmyuncle，tryingtodoit！
　　And，oh，thepleasantchatswiththeoldladieswhenthedogwoundthechainintoaknotaroundtheirlegs，andupsetthem，andmyunclehadtositdownintheroadbesidethem，anduntiethembeforetheycouldgetupagain！
　　Butacrisiscameatlast。ItwasaSaturdayafternoon——unclebeingexercisedbydoginusualway——nervouschildrenplayinginroad，seedog，scream，andrun——playfulyoungdogthinksitagame，jerkschainoutofuncle’sgrasp，andfliesafterthem——unclefliesafterdog，callingitnames——fondparentinfrontgarden，seeingbelovedchildrenchasedbysavagedog，followedbycarelessowner，fliesafteruncle，calling_him_names——householderscometodoorsandcry，"Shame！"——alsothrowthingsatdog——thingsdon’thitdog，hituncle——thingsthatdon’thituncle，hitfondparent——throughthevillageandupthehill，overthebridgeandroundbythegreen——grandrun，mileandahalfwithoutabreak！Childrensinkexhausted——doggambolsupamongthem——childrengointofits——fondparentandunclecomeuptogether，bothbreathless。
　　"Whydon’tyoucallyourdogoff，youwickedoldman？"
　　"BecauseIcan’trecollecthisname，youoldfool，you！"
　　Fondparentaccusesuncleofhavingsetdogon——uncle，indignant，revilesfondparent——exasperatedfondparentattacksuncle——uncleretaliateswithumbrella——faithfuldogcomestoassistanceofuncle，andinflictsgreatinjuryonfondparent——arrivalofpolice——dogattackspolice——uncleandfondparentbothtakenintocustody——unclefinedfivepoundsandcostsforkeepingaferociousdogatlarge——unclefinedfivepoundsandcostsforassaultonfondparent——unclefinedfivepoundsandcostforassaultonpolice！
　　Myunclegavethedogawaysoonafterthat。Hedidnotwastehim。Hegavehimasawedding—presenttoanearrelation。
　　ButthesaddeststoryIeverheardinconnectionwithabull—dog，wasonetoldbymyauntherself。
　　Nowyoucanrelyuponthisstory，becauseitisnotoneofmine，itisoneofmyaunt’s，andshewouldscorntotellalie。Thisisastoryyoucouldtelltotheheathen，andfeelthatyouwereteachingthemthetruthanddoingthemgood。TheygivethisstoryoutatalltheSunday—schoolsinourpartofthecountry，anddrawmorallessonsfromit。Itisastorythatalittlechildcanbelieve。
　　Ithappenedintheoldcrinolinedays。Myaunt，whowasthenlivinginacountry—town，hadgoneoutshoppingonemorning，andwasstandingintheHighStreet，talkingtoaladyfriend，aMrs。Gumworthy，thedoctor’swife。She（myaunt）hadonanewcrinolinethatmorning，inwhich，touseherownexpression，sheratherfanciedherself。Itwasatremendouslybigone，asstiffasawire—fence;andit"set"
　　beautifully。
　　TheywerestandinginfrontofJenkins’，thedraper’s;andmyauntthinksthatit——thecrinoline——musthavegotcaughtupinsomething，andanopeningthusleftbetweenitandtheground。Howeverthismaybe，certainitisthatanabsurdlylargeandpowerfulbull—dog，whowasfoolingroundaboutthereatthetime，managed，somehoworother，tosquirminundermyaunt’scrinoline，andeffectuallyimprisonhimselfbeneathit。
　　Findinghimselfsuddenlyinadarkandgloomychamber，thedog，naturallyenough，gotfrightened，andmadefranticrushestogetout。
　　Butwhicheverwayhecharged;therewasthecrinolineinfrontofhim。
　　Asheflew，he，ofcourse，carrieditbeforehim，andwiththecrinoline，ofcourse，wentmyaunt。
　　Butnobodyknewtheexplanation。Myauntherselfdidnotknowwhathadhappened。Nobodyhadseenthedogcreepinsidethecrinoline。
　　Allthatthepeopledidseewasastaidandeminentlyrespectablemiddle—agedladysuddenly，andwithoutanyapparentreason，throwherumbrelladownintheroad，flyuptheHighStreetattherateoftenmilesanhour，rushacrossitattheimminentriskofherlife，dartdownitagainontheotherside，rushsideways，likeanexcitedcrab，intoagrocer’sshop，runthreetimesroundtheshop，upsettingthewholestock—in—trade，comeoutoftheshopbackwardandknockdownapostman，dashintotheroadwayandspinroundtwice，hoverforamoment，undecided，onthecurb，andthenawayupthehillagain，asifshehadonlyjuststarted，allthewhilescreamingoutatthetopofhervoiceforsomebodytostopher！
　　Ofcourse，everybodythoughtshewasmad。Thepeopleflewbeforeherlikechaffbeforethewind。InlessthanfivesecondstheHighStreetwasadesert。Thetownsfolkscamperedintotheirshopsandhousesandbarricadedthedoors。Bravemendashedoutandcaughtuplittlechildrenandborethemtoplacesofsafetyamidcheers。Cartsandcarriageswereabandoned，whilethedriversclimbeduplamp—posts！
　　Whatwouldhavehappenedhadtheaffairgoneonmuchlonger——whethermyauntwouldhavebeenshot，orthefire—enginebroughtintorequisitionagainsther——itisimpossible，havingregardtotheterrifiedstateofthecrowd，tosay。Fortunatelyforher，shebecameexhausted。Withonedespairingshriekshegaveway，andsatdownonthedog;andpeacereignedonceagaininthatsweetruraltown。