Bothseemedtotryhispatiencesorely,formorethanonceIheardhimsayemphatically,"No,no,itisnotso,youhafnotattendtowhatIsay,"andoncetherewasaloudrap,asifhestruckthetablewithhisbook,followedbythedespairingexclamation,"Prut!Itallgoesbadthisday。"
Poorman,Ipitiedhim,andwhenthegirlsweregone,tookjustonemorepeeptoseeifhesurvivedit。Heseemedtohavethrownhimselfbackinhischair,tiredout,andsattherewithhiseyesshuttilltheclockstrucktwo,whenhejumpedup,puthisbooksinhispocket,asifreadyforanotherlesson,andtakinglittleTinawhohadfallenasleeponthesofainhisarms,hecarriedherquietlyaway。Ifancyhehasahardlifeofit。Mrs。KirkeaskedmeifIwouldn’tgodowntothefiveo’clockdinner,andfeelingalittlebithomesick,IthoughtIwould,justtoseewhatsortofpeopleareunderthesameroofwithme。SoImademyselfrespectableandtriedtoslipinbehindMrs。Kirke,butassheisshortandI’mtall,myeffortsatconcealmentwereratherafailure。Shegavemeaseatbyher,andaftermyfacecooledoff,Ipluckedupcourageandlookedaboutme。Thelongtablewasfull,andevery——oneintentongettingtheirdinner,thegentlemenespecially,whoseemedtobeeatingontime,fortheyboltedineverysenseoftheword,vanishingassoonastheyweredone。Therewastheusualassortmentofyoungmenabsorbedinthemselves,youngcouplesabsorbedineachother,marriedladiesintheirbabies,andoldgentlemeninpolitics。Idon’tthinkIshallcaretohavemuchtodowithanyofthem,exceptonesweet—facedmaidenlady,wholooksasifshehadsomethinginher。
CastawayattheverybottomofthetablewastheProfessor,shoutinganswerstothequestionsofaveryinquisitive,deafoldgentlemanononeside,andtalkingphilosophywithaFrenchmanontheother。IfAmyhadbeenhere,she’dhaveturnedherbackonhimforeverbecause,sadtorelate,hehadagreatappetite,andshoveledinhisdinnerinamannerwhichwouldhavehorrified`herladyship’。Ididn’tmind,forIlike`toseefolkseatwitharelish’,asHannahsays,andthepoormanmusthaveneededadealoffoodafterteachingidiotsallday。
AsIwentupstairsafterdinner,twooftheyoungmenweresettlingtheirhatsbeforethehallmirror,andIheardonesaylowtotheother,"Who’sthenewparty?"
"Governess,orsomethingofthatsort。"
"Whatthedeuceissheatourtablefor?"
"Friendoftheoldlady’s。"
"Handsomehead,butnostyle。"
"Notabitofit。Giveusalightandcomeon。"
Ifeltangryatfirst,andthenIdidn’tcare,foragovernessisasgoodasaclerk,andI’vegotsense,ifIhaven’tstyle,whichismorethansomepeoplehave,judgingfromtheremarksoftheelegantbeingswhoclatteredaway,smokinglikebadchimneys。Ihateordinarypeople!
ThursdayYesterdaywasaquietdayspentinteaching,sewing,andwritinginmylittleroom,whichisverycozy,withalightandfire。IpickedupafewbitsofnewsandwasintroducedtotheProfessor。ItseemsthatTinaisthechildoftheFrenchwomanwhodoesthefineironinginthelaundryhere。ThelittlethinghaslostherhearttoMr。Bhaer,andfollowshimaboutthehouselikeadogwheneverheisathome,whichdelightshim,asheisveryfondofchildren,thougha`bacheldore’。KittyandMinnieKirklikewiseregardhimwithaffection,andtellallsortsofstoriesabouttheplaysheinvents,thepresentshebrings,andthesplendidtaleshetells。Theyoungermenquizhim,itseems,callhimOldFritz,LagerBeer,UrsaMajor,andmakeallmannerofjokesonhisname。Butheenjoysitlikeaboy,Mrs。Kirkesays,andtakesitsogood—naturedlythattheyalllikehiminspiteofhisforeignways。
ThemaidenladyisaMissNorton,rich,cultivated,andkind。Shespoketomeatdinnertoday(forIwenttotableagain,it’ssuchfuntowatchpeople),andaskedmetocomeandseeheratherroom。Shehasfinebooksandpictures,knowsinterestingpersons,andseemsfriendly,soIshallmakemyselfagreeable,forIdowanttogetintogoodsociety,onlyitisn’tthesamesortthatAmylikes。
IwasinourparlorlasteveningwhenMr。BhaercameinwithsomenewspapersforMrs。Kirke。Shewasn’tthere,butMinnie,whoisalittleoldwoman,introducedmeveryprettily。"ThisisMamma’sfriend,MissMarch。"
"Yes,andshe’sjollyandwelikeherlots,"addedKitty,whoisand`enfantterrible’。
Webothbowed,andthenwelaughed,fortheprimintroductionandthebluntadditionwereratheracomicalcontrast。
"Ah,yes,Ihearthesenaughtyonesgotovexyou,MeesMarsch。Ifsoagain,callatmeandIcome,"hesaid,withathreateningfrownthatdelightedthelittlewretches。
IpromisedIwould,andhedeparted,butitseemsasifIwasdoomedtoseeagooddealofhim,fortodayasIpassedhisdooronmywayout,byaccidentIknockedagainstitwithmyumbrella。Itflewopen,andtherehestoodinhisdressinggown,withabigbluesockononehandandadarningneedleintheother。Hedidn’tseematallashamedofit,forwhenIexplainedandhurriedon,hewavedhishand,sockandall,sayinginhisloud,cheerfulway……
"Youhafafinedaytomakeyourwalk。Bonvoyage,Mademoiselle。"
Ilaughedallthewaydownstairs,butitwasalittlepathetic,alsotothinkofthepoormanhavingtomendhisownclothes。TheGermangentlemenembroider,Iknow,butdarninghoseisanotherthingandnotsopretty。
SaturdayNothinghashappenedtowriteabout,exceptacallonMissNorton,whohasaroomfullofprettythings,andwhowasverycharming,forsheshowedmeallhertreasures,andaskedmeifIwouldsometimesgowithhertolecturesandconcerts,asherescort,ifIenjoyedthem。Sheputitasafavor,butI’msureMrs。Kirkehastoldheraboutus,andshedoesitoutofkindnesstome。I’masproudasLucifer,butsuchfavorsfromsuchpeopledon’tburdenme,andIacceptedgratefully。WhenIgotbacktothenurserytherewassuchanuproarintheparlorthatIlookedin,andtherewasMr。Bhaerdownonhishandsandknees,withTinaonhisback,Kittyleadinghimwithajumprope,andMinniefeedingtwosmallboyswithseedcakes,astheyroaredandrampedincagesbuiltofchairs。
"Weareplayingnargerie,"explainedKitty。
"Disismineeffalunt!"addedTina,holdingonbytheProfessor’shair。
"MammaalwaysallowsustodowhatwelikeSaturdayafternoon,whenFranzandEmilcome,doesn’tshe,Mr。Bhaer?"saidMinnie。
The`effalunt’satup,lookingasmuchinearnestasanyofthem,andsaidsoberlytome,"Igifyoumywortitisso,ifwemaketoolargeanoiseyoushallsayHush!tous,andwegomoresoftly。"
Ipromisedtodoso,butleftthedooropenandenjoyedthefunasmuchastheydid,foramoregloriousfrolicIneverwitnessed。Theyplayedtagandsoldiers,dancedandsang,andwhenitbegantogrowdarktheyallpiledontothesofaabouttheProfessor,whilehetoldcharmingfairystoriesofthestorksonthechimneytops,andthelittle`koblods’,whoridethesnowflakesastheyfall。IwishAmericanswereassimpleandnaturalasGermans,don’tyou?
I’msofondofwriting,Ishouldgospinningonforeverifmotivesofeconomydidn’tstopme,forthoughI’veusedthinpaperandwrittenfine,Itrembletothinkofthestampsthislongletterwillneed。PrayforwardAmy’sassoonasyoucansparethem。Mysmallnewswillsoundveryflatafterhersplendors,butyouwilllikethem,Iknow。IsTeddystudyingsohardthathecan’tfindtimetowritetohisfriends?Takegoodcareofhimforme,Beth,andtellmeallaboutthebabies,andgiveheapsoflovetoeveryone。
FromyourfaithfulJo。
P。S。Onreadingovermyletter,itstrikesmeasratherBhaery,butIamalwaysinterestedinoddpeople,andIreallyhadnothingelsetowriteabout。Blessyou!
DECEMBER
MyPreciousBetsey,Asthisistobeascribble—scrabbleletter,Idirectittoyou,foritmayamuseyou,andgiveyousomeideaofmygoingson,forthoughquiet,theyareratheramusing,forwhich,oh,bejoyful!AfterwhatAmywouldcallHerculaneumefforts,inthewayofmentalandmoralagriculture,myyoungideasbegintoshootandmylittletwigstobendasIcouldwish。TheyarenotsointerestingtomeasTinaandtheboys,butIdomydutybythem,andtheyarefondofme。FranzandEmilarejollylittlelads,quiteaftermyownheart,forthemixtureofGermanandAmericanspiritintheproducesaconstantstateofeffervescence。Saturdayafternoonsareriotoustimes,whetherspentinthehouseorout,foronpleasantdaystheyallgotowalk,likeaseminary,withtheProfessorandmyselftokeeporder,andthensuchfun!
Weareverygoodfriendsnow,andI’vebeguntotakelessons。Ireallycouldn’thelpit,anditallcameaboutinsuchadrollwaythatImusttellyou。Tobeginatthebeginning,Mrs。KirkecalledtomeonedayasIpassedMr。Bhaer’sroomwhereshewasrummaging。
"Didyoueverseesuchaden,mydear?Justcomeandhelpmeputthesebookstorights,forI’veturnedeverythingupsidedown,tryingtodiscoverwhathehasdonewiththesixnewhandkerchiefsIgavehimnotlongago。"
Iwentin,andwhileweworkedIlookedaboutme,foritwas`aden’tobesure。Booksandpaperseverywhere,abrokenmeerschaum,andanoldfluteoverthemantlepieceasifdonewith,araggedbirdwithoutanytailchirpedononewindowseat,andaboxofwhitemiceadornedtheother。Half—finishedboatsandbitsofstringlayamongthemanuscripts。Dirtylittlebootsstooddryingbeforethefire,andtracesofthedearlybelovedboys,forwhomhemakesaslaveofhimself,weretobeseenallovertheroom。Afteragrandrummagethreeofthemissingarticleswerefound,oneoverthebirdcage,onecoveredwithink,andathirdburnedbrown,havingbeenusedasaholder。
"Suchaman!"laughedgood—naturedMrs。K。,assheputtherelicsintheragbay。"Isupposetheothersaretornuptorigships,bandagecutfingers,ormakekitetails。It’sdreadful,butIcan’tscoldhim。He’ssoabsent—mindedandgood—natured,heletsthoseboysrideoverhimroughshod。Iagreedtodohiswashingandmending,butheforgetstogiveouthisthingsandIforgettolookthemover,sohecomestoasadpasssometimes。"
"Letmemendthem,"saidI。"Idon’tmindit,andheneedn’tknow。I’dliketo,he’ssokindtomeaboutbringingmylettersandlendingbooks。"
SoIhavegothisthingsinorder,andknitheelsintotwopairsofthesocks,fortheywereboggledoutofshapewithhisqueerdarns。Nothingwassaid,andIhopedhewouldn’tfinditout,butonedaylastweekhecaughtmeatit。HearingthelessonshegivestoothershasinterestedandamusedmesomuchthatItookafancytolearn;forTinarunsinandout,leavingthedooropen,andIcanhear。Ihadbeensittingnearthisdoor,finishingoffthelastsock,andtryingtounderstandwhathesaidtoanewscholar,whoisasstupidasIam。Thegirlhadgone,andIthoughthehadalso,itwassostill,andIwasbusilygabblingoveraverb,androckingtoandfroinamostabsurdway,whenalittlecrowmademelookup,andtherewasMr。Bhaerlookingandlaughingquietly,whilehemadesignstoTinanottobetrayhim。
"So!"hesaid,asIstoppedandstaredlikeagoose,"youpeepatme,Ipeepatyou,andthisisnotbad,butsee,IamnotpleasantingwhenIsay,hafyouawishforGerman?"
"Yes,butyouaretoobusy。Iamtoostupidtolearn,"Iblunderedout,asredasapeony。
"Prut!Wewillmakethetime,andwefailnottofindthesense。AtefeningIshallgifalittlelessonwithmuchgladness,forlookyou,MeesMarsch,Ihafthisdebttopay。"Andhepointedtomywork`Yes,’theysaytooneanother,thesesokindladies,`heisastupidoldfellow,hewillseenotwhatwedo,hewillneverobservethathissockheelsgonotinholesanymore,hewillthinkhisbuttonsgrowoutnewwhentheyfall,andbelievethatstringsmaketheirselves。’"Ah!ButIhafaneye,andIseemuch。Ihafaheart,andIfeelthanksforthis。Come,alittlelessonthenandnow,ornomoregoodfairyworksformeandmine。"
OfcourseIcouldn’tsayanythingafterthat,andasitreallyisasplendidopportunity,Imadethebargain,andwebegan。Itookfourlessons,andthenIstuckfastinagrammaticalbog。TheProfessorwasverypatientwithme,butitmusthavebeentormenttohim,andnowandthenhe’dlookatmewithsuchanexpressionofmilddespairthatitwasatoss—upwithmewhethertolaughorcry。Itriedbothways,andwhenitcametoasnifforuttermortificationandwoe,hejustthrewthegrammarontothefloorandmarchedoutoftheroom。Ifeltmyselfdisgracedanddesertedforever,butdidn’tblamehimaparticle,andwasscramblingmypaperstogether,meaningtorushupstairsandshakemyselfhard,wheninhecame,asbriskandbeamingasifI’dcoveredmyselfinglory。
"Nowweshalltryanewway。YouandIwillreadthesepleasantlittleMäarchentogether,anddignomoreinthatdrybook,thatgoesinthecornerformakingustrouble。"
Hespokesokindly,andopenedHansAndersons’sfairytalessoinvitinglybeforeme,thatIwasmoreashamedthanever,andwentatmylessoninaneck—or—nothingstylethatseemedtoamusehimimmensely。Iforgotmybashfulness,andpeggedaway(nootherwordwillexpressit)withallmymight,tumblingoverlongwords,pronouncingaccordingtoinspirationoftheminute,anddoingmyverybest。WhenIfinishedreadingmyfirstpage,andstoppedforbreath,heclappedhishandsandcriedoutinhisheartyway,"Dasistgut!’Nowwegowell!Myturn。IdohiminGerman,gifmeyourear。"Andawayhewent,rumblingoutthewordswithhisstrongvoiceandarelishwhichwasgoodtoseeaswellashear。FortunatelythestorywastheCONSTANTTINSOLDIER,whichisdroll,youknow,soIcouldlaugh,andIdid,thoughIdidn’tunderstandhalfheread,forIcouldn’thelpit,hewassoearnest,Isoexcited,andthewholethingsocomical。Afterthatwegotonbetter,andnowIreadmylessonsprettywell,forthiswayofstudyingsuitsme,andIcanseethatthegrammargetstuckedintothetalesandpoetryasonegivespillsinjelly。Ilikeitverymuch,andhedoesn’tseemtiredofityet,whichisverygoodofhim,isn’tit?ImeantogivehimsomethingonChristmas,forIdarenotoffermoney。Tellmesomethingnice,Marmee。
I’mgladLaurieseemssohappyandbusy,thathehasgivenupsmokingandletshishairgrow。YouseeBethmanageshimbetterthanIdid。I’mnotjealous,dear,doyourbest,onlydon’tmakeasaintofhim。I’mafraidIcouldn’tlikehimwithoutaspiceofhumannaughtiness。Readhimbitsofmyletters。Ihaven’ttimetowritemuch,andthatwilldojustaswell。ThankHeavenBethcontinuessocomfortable。
JANUARY
AHappyNewYeartoyouall,mydearestfamily,whichofcourseincludesMr。L。andayoungmanbythenameofTeddy。Ican’ttellyouhowmuchIenjoyedyourChristmasbundle,forididn’tgetittillnightandhadgivenuphoping。Yourlettercameinthemorning,butyousaidnothingaboutaparcel,meaningitforasurprise,soIwasdisappointed,forI’dhada`kindoffeeling’thatyouwouldn’tforgetme。IfeltalittlelowinmymindasIsatupinmyroomaftertea,andwhenthebig,muddy,battered—lookingbundlewasbroughttome,Ijusthuggeditandpranced。ItwassohomeyandrefreshingthatIsatdownonthefloorandreadandlookedandateandlaughedandcried,inmyusualabsurdway。ThethingswerejustwhatIwanted,andallthebetterforbeingmadeinsteadofbought。Beth’snew`inkbib’wascapital,andHannah’sboxofhardgingerbreadwillbeatreasure。I’llbesureandweartheniceflannelsyousent,Marmee,andreadcarefullythebooksFatherhasmarked。Thankyouall,heapsandheaps!
SpeakingofbooksremindsmethatI’mgettingrichinthatline,foronNewYear’sDayMr。BhaergavemeafineShakespeare。Itisonehevaluesmuch,andI’veoftenadmiredit,setupintheplaceofhonorwithhisGermanBible,Plato,Homer,andMilton,soyoumayimaginehowIfeltwhenhebroughtitdown,withoutitscover,andshowedmemyownnameinit,"frommyfriendFriedrichBhaer"。
"Yousayoftenyouwishalibrary。HereIgifyouone,forbetweentheselids(hemeantcovers)ismanybooksinone。Readhimwell,andhewillhelpyoumuch,forthestudyofcharacterinthisbookwillhelpyoutoreaditintheworldandpaintitwithyourpen。"
IthankedhimaswellasIcould,andtalknowabout`mylibrary’,asifIhadahundredbooks。IneverknewhowmuchtherewasinShakespearebefore,butthenIneverhadaBhaertoexplainittome。Nowdon’tlaughathishorridname。Itisn’tpronouncedeitherBearorBeer,aspeoplewillsayit,butsomethingbetweenthetwo,asonlyGermanscangiveit。I’mgladyoubothlikewhatItellyouabouthim,andhopeyouwillknowhimsomeday。Motherwouldadmirehiswarmheart,Fatherhiswisehead。Iadmireboth,andfeelrichinmynew`friendFriedrichBhaer’。
Nothavingmuchmoney,orknowingwhathe’dlike,Igotseverallittlethings,andputthemabouttheroom,wherehewouldfindthemunexpectedly。Theywereuseful,pretty,orfunny,anewstandishonhistable,alittlevaseforhisflower,healwayshasone,orabitofgreeninaglass,tokeephimfresh,hesays,andaholderforhisblower,sothatheneedn’tburnupwhatAmycalls`mouchoirs’。ImadeitlikethoseBethinvented,abigbutterflywithafatbody,andblackandyellowwings,worstedfeelers,andbeadeyes。Ittookhisfancyimmensely,andheputitonhismantlepieceasanarticleofvertu,soitwasratherafailureafterall。Poorasheis,hedidn’tforgetaservantorachildinthehouse,andnotasoulhere,fromtheFrenchlaundrywomantoMissNortonforgothim。Iwassogladofthat。
Theygotupamasquerade,andhadagaytimeNewYear’sEve。Ididn’tmeantogodown,havingnodress。Butatthelastminute,Mrs。Kirkerememberedsomeoldbrocades,andMissNortonlentmelaceandfeathers。SoIdressedupasMrs。Malaprop,andsailedinwithamaskon。Nooneknewme,forIdisguisedmyvoice,andnoonedreamedofthesilent,haughtyMissMarch(fortheythinkIamverystiffandcool,mostofthem,andsoIamtowhippersnappers)coulddanceanddress,andburstoutintoa`nicederangementofepitaphs,likeanallegoryonthebanksoftheNile’。Ienjoyeditverymuch,andwhenweunmaskeditwasfuntoseethemstareatme。IheardoneoftheyoungmentellanotherthatheknewI’dbeenanactress,infact,hethoughtherememberedseeingmeatoneoftheminortheaters。Megwillrelishthatjoke。Mr。BhaerwasNickBottom,andTinawasTitania,aperfectlittlefairyinhisarms。Toseethemdancewas`quitealandscape’,touseaTeddyism。
IhadaveryhappyNewYear,afterall,andwhenIthoughtitoverinmyroom,IfeltasifIwasgettingonalittleinspiteofmymanyfailures,forI’mcheerfulallthetimenow,workwithawill,andtakemoreinterestinotherpeoplethanIusedto,whichissatisfactory。Blessyouall!Everyourloving……
JoGoodWives:Chapter11CHAPTER11AFriendThoughveryhappyinthesocialatmosphereabouther,andverybusywiththedailyworkthatearnedherbreadandmadeitsweeterfortheeffort,Jostillfoundtimeforliterarylabors。Thepurposewhichnowtookpossessionofherwasanaturalonetoapoorandambitiousgirl,butthemeansshetooktogainherendwerenotthebest。Shesawthatmoneyconferredpower,therefore,sheresolvedtohave,nottobeusedforherselfalone,butforthosewhomshelovedmorethanlife。
Thedreamoffillinghomewithcomforts,givingBetheverythingshewanted,fromstrawberriesinwintertoanorganinherbedroom,goingabroadherself,andalwayshavingmorethanenough,sothatshemightindulgeintheluxuryofcharity,hadbeenforyearsJo’smostcherishedcastleintheair。
Theprize—storyexperiencehadseemedtoopenawaywhichmight,afterlongtravelingandmuchuphillwork,leadtothisdelightfulchâteauenEspagne。Butthenoveldisasterquenchedhercourageforatime,forpublicopinionisagiantwhichhasfrightenedstouter—heartedJacksonbiggerbeanstalksthanhers。Likethatimmortalhero,shereposedawhileafterthefirstattempt,whichresultedinatumbleandtheleastlovelyofthegiant’streasures,ifIrememberrightly。Butthe`upagainandtakeanother’spiritwasasstronginJoasinJack,soshescrambledupontheshadysidethistimeandgotmorebooty,butnearlyleftbehindherwhatwasfarmorepreciousthanthemoneybags。
Shetooktowritingsensationstories,forinthosedarkages,evenall—perfectAmericareadrubbish。Shetoldnoone,butconcocteda`thrillingtale’,andboldlycarrieditherselftoMr。Dashwood,editoroftheWeeklyVolcano。ShehadneverreadSartorResartus,butshehadawomanlyinstinctthatclothespossessaninfluencemorepowerfulovermanythantheworthofcharacterorthemagicofmanners。Soshedressedherselfinherbest,andtryingtopersuadeherselfthatshewasneitherexcitednornervous,bravelyclimbedtwopairsofdarkanddirtystairstofindherselfinadisorderlyroom,acloudofcigarsmoke,andthepresenceofthreegentlemen,sittingwiththeirheelsratherhigherthantheirhats,whicharticlesofdressnoneofthemtookthetroubletoremoveonherappearance。somewhatdauntedbythisreception,Johesitatedonthethreshold,murmuringinmuchembarrassment……
"Excuseme,IwaslookingfortheWeeklyVolcanooffice。IwishedtoseeMr。Dashwood。"
Downwentthehighestpairofheels,uprosethesmokiestgentleman,andcarefullycherishinghiscigarbetweenhisfingers,headvancedwithanodandacountenanceexpressiveofnothingbutsleep。Feelingthatshemustgetthroughthemattersomehow,Joproducedhermanuscriptand,blushingredderandredderwitheachsentence,blunderedoutfragmentsofthelittlespeechcarefullypreparedfortheoccasion。
"Afriendofminedesiredmetooffer——astory——justasanexperiment——wouldlikeyouropinion——begladtowritemoreifthissuits。"
Whilesheblushedandblundered,Mr。Dashwoodhadtakenthemanuscript,andwasturningovertheleaveswithapairofratherdirtyfingers,andcastingcriticalglancesupanddowntheneatpages。
"Notafirstattempt,Itakeit?"observingthatthepageswerenumbered,coveredonlyononeside,andnottiedupwitharibbon——suresignofanovice。
"No,sir。Shehashadsomeexperience,andgotaprizeforataleintheBlarneystoneBanner。"
"Oh,didshe?"AndMr。DashwoodgaveJOaquicklook,whichseemedtotakenoteofeverythingshehadon,fromthebowinherbonnettothebuttonsonherboots。"Well,youcanleaveit,ifyoulike。We’vemoreofthissortofthingonhandthanweknowwhattodowithatpresent,butI’llrunmyeyeoverit,andgiveyouananswernextweek。"
Now,Jodidnotliketoleaveit,forMr。Dashwooddidn’tsuitheratall,but,underthecircumstances,therewasnothingforhertodobutbowandwalkaway,lookingparticularlytallanddignified,asshewasapttodowhennettledorabashed。Justthenshewasboth,foritwasperfectlyevidentfromtheknowingglancesexchangedamongthegentlementhatherlittlefictionof`myfriend’wasconsideredagoodjoke,andalaugh,producedbysomeinaudibleremarkoftheeditor,asheclosedthedoor,completedherdiscomfiture。Halfresolvingnevertoreturn,shewenthome,andworkedoffherirritationbystitchingpinaforesvigorously,andinanhourortwowascoolenoughtolaughoverthesceneandlongfornextweek。
Whenshewentagain,Mr。Dashwoodwasalone,whereatsherejoiced。Mr。Dashwoodwasmuchwiderawakethanbefore,whichwasagreeableandMr。Dashwoodwasnottoodeeplyabsorbedinacigartorememberhismanners,sothesecondinterviewwasmuchmorecomfortablethanthefirst。
"We’lltakethis(editorsneversayI),ifyoudon’tobjecttoafewalterations。It’stoolong,butomittingthepassagesI’vemarkedwillmakeitjusttherightlength,"hesaid,inabusinessliketone。
JohardlyknewherownMSagain,socrumpledandunderscoredwereitspagesandparagraphs,butfeelingasatenderpatentmightonbeingaskedtocutoffherbaby’slegsinorderthatitmightfitintoanewcradle,shelookedatthemarkedpassagesandwassurprisedtofindthatallthemoralreflections——whichshehadcarefullyputinasballastformuchromance——hadbeenstrickenout。
"But,Sir,Ithoughteverystoryshouldhavesomesortofamoral,soItookcaretohaveafewofmysinnersrepent。"
Mr。Dashwoods’seditorialgravityrelaxedintoasmile,forJohadforgottenher`friend’,andspokenasonlyanauthorcould。
"Peoplewanttobeamused,notpreachedat,youknow。Moralsdon’tsellnowadays。"Whichwasnotquiteacorrectstatement,bytheway。
"Youthinkitwoulddowiththesealterations,then?"
"Yes,it’sanewplot,andprettywellworkedup——languagegood,andsoon,"wasMr。Dashwood’saffablereply。
"Whatdoyou——thatis,whatcompensation——"beganJo,notexactlyknowinghowtoexpressherself。
"Oh,yes,well,wegivefromtwenty—fivetothirtyforthingsofthissort。Paywhenitcomesout,"returnedMr。Dashwood,asifthatpointhadescapedhim。Suchtriflesdoescapetheeditorialmind,itissaid。
"Verywell,youcanhaveit,"saidJo,handingbackthestorywithasatisfiedair,forafterthedollar—a—columnwork,eventwenty—fiveseemedgoodpay。
"ShallItellmyfriendyouwilltakeanotherifshehasonebetterthanthis?"askedJo,unconsciousofherlittleslipofthetongue,andemboldenedbyhersuccess。
"Well,we’lllookatit。Can’tpromisetotakeit。Tellhertomakeitshortandspicy,andnevermindthemoral。Whatnamewouldyourfriendliketoputonit?"inacarelesstone。
"Noneatall,ifyouplease,shedoesn’twishhernametoappearandhasnonomdeplume,"saidJo,blushinginspiteofherself。
"Justasshelikes,ofcourse。Thetalewillbeoutnextweek。Willyoucallforthemoney,orshallIsendit?"askedMr。Dashwood,whofeltanaturaldesiretoknowwhohisnewcontributormightbe。
"I’llcall。Goodmorning,Sir。"
Asshedeparted,Mr。Dashwoodputuphisfeet,withthegracefulremark,"Poorandproud,asusual,butshe’lldo。"
FollowingMr。Dashwood’sdirections,andmakingMrs。Northburyhermodel,Jorashlytookaplungeintothefrothyseaofsensationalliterature,butthankstothelifepreserverthrownherbyafriend,shecameupagainnotmuchtheworseforherducking。
Likemostyoungscribblers,shewentabroadforhercharactersandscenery,andbanditti,counts,gypsies,nuns,andduchessesappeareduponherstage,andplayedtheirpartswithasmuchaccuracyandspiritascouldbeexpected。Herreaderswerenotparticularaboutsuchtriflesasgrammar,punctuation,andprobability,andMr。Dashwoodgraciouslypermittedhertofillhiscolumnsatthelowestprices,notthinkingitnecessarytotellherthattherealcauseofhishospitalitywasthefactthatoneofhishacks,onbeingofferedhigherwages,hadbaselylefthiminthelurch。
Shesoonbecameinterestedinherwork,forheremaciatedpursegrewstout,andthelittlehoardshewasmakingtotakeBethtothemountainsnextsummergrewslowlybutsurelyastheweekspassed。Onethingdisturbedhersatisfaction,andthatwasthatshedidnottellthemathome。ShehadafeelingthatFatherandMotherwouldnotapprove,andpreferredtohaveherownwayfirst,andbegpardonafterward。Itwaseasytokeephersecret,fornonameappearedwithherstories。Mr。Dashwoodhadofcoursefounditoutverysoon,butpromisedtobedumb,andforawonderkepthisword。
Shethoughtitwoulddohernoharm,forshesincerelymeanttowritenothingofwhichshewouldbeashamed,andquietedallpricksofconsciencebyanticipationsofthehappyminutewhensheshouldshowherearningsandlaughoverherwell—keptsecret。
ButMr。Dashwoodrejectedanybutthrillingtales,andasthrillscouldnotbeproducedexceptbyharrowingupthesoulsofthereaders,historyandromance,landandsea,scienceandart,policerecordsandlunaticasylums,hadtoberansackedforthepurpose。Josoonfoundthatherinnocentexperiencehadgivenherbutfewglimpsesofthetragicworldwhichunderliessociety,soregardingitinabusinesslight,shesetaboutsupplyingherdeficiencieswithcharacteristicenergy。Eagertofindmaterialforstories,andbentonmakingthemoriginalinplot,ifnotmasterlyinexecution,shesearchednewspapersforaccidents,incidents,andcrimes。Sheexcitedthesuspicionsofpubliclibrariansbyaskingforworksonpoisons。Shestudiedfacesinthestreet,andcharacters,good,bad,andindifferent,allabouther。Shedelvedinthedustofancienttimesforfactsorfictionssooldthattheywereasgoodasnew,andintroducedherselftofolly,sin,andmisery,aswellasherlimitedopportunitiesallowed。Shethoughtshewasprosperingfinely,butunconsciouslyshewasbeginningtodesecratesomeofthewomanliestattributesofawoman’scharacter。Shewaslivinginbadsociety,andimaginarythoughitwas,itsinfluenceaffectedher,forshewasfeedingheartandfancyondangerousandunsubstantialfood,andwasfastbrushingtheinnocentbloomfromhernaturebyaprematureacquaintancewiththedarkersideoflife,whichcomessoonenoughtoallofus。
Shewasbeginningtofeelratherthanseethis,formuchdescribingofotherpeople’spassionsandfeelingssethertostudyingandspeculatingaboutherown。amorbidamusementinwhichhealthyyoungmindsdonotvoluntarilyindulge。Wrongdoingalwaysbringsitsownpunishment,andwhenJomostneededhers,shegotit。
Idon’tknowwhetherthestudyofShakespearehelpedhertoreadcharacter,orthenaturalinstinctofawomanforwhatwashonest,brave,andstrong,butwhileendowingherimaginaryheroeswitheveryperfectionunderthesun,Jowasdiscoveringalivehero,whointerestedherinspiteofmanyhumanimperfections。Mr。Bhaer,inoneoftheirconversations,hadadvisedhertostudysimple,true,andlovelycharacters,wherevershefoundthem,asgoodtrainingforawriter。Jotookhimathisword,forshecoollyturnedroundandstudiedhim——aproceedingwhichwouldhavemuchsurprisedhim,hadheknowit,fortheworthyProfessorwasveryhumbleinhisownconceit。