alltheemotionhehadstifled;theswiftPanhehaddenied;thesharpfruits，theburningsuns，thedarkpools，theunearthlymoonlight，whichwerenotofGod——allcamewiththebreathofthatoldsong，andthelookonthegirl’sface。Andhecoveredhiseyes。
　　Noel’shandtuggedathisarm。"Isn’tbeautyterriblyalive，"shemurmured，"likealovelyperson？itmakesyouachetokissit。"
　　Hislipsfeltparched。"Thereisabeautybeyondallthat，"hesaidstubbornly。
　　"Where？"
　　"Holiness，duty，faith。ONollie，mylove！"ButNoel’shandtightenedonhisarm。
　　"ShallItellyouwhatIshouldlike？"shewhispered。"TotakeGod’shandandshowHimthings。I’mcertainHe’snotseeneverything。"
　　AshudderwentthroughPierson，oneofthosequeersuddenshivers，whichcomefromastrangenoteinavoice，oranewsharpscentorsight。
　　"Mydear，whatthingsyousay！"
　　"ButHehasn’t，andit’stimeHedid。We’dcreep，andpeep，andseeitallforonce，asHecan’tinHischurches。Daddy，oh！Daddy！
　　Ican’tbearitanymore;tothinkofthembeingkilledonanightlikethis;killedandkilledsothattheyneverseeitallagain——
　　neverseeit——neverseeit！"Shesankdown，andcoveredherfacewithherarms。
　　"Ican’t，Ican’t！Oh！takeitallaway，thecruelty！Whydoesitcome——whythestarsandtheflowers，ifGoddoesn’tcareanymorethanthat？"
　　Horriblyaffectedhestoodbendingoverher，strokingherhead。Thenthehabitofahundreddeath—bedshelpedhim。"Come，Nollie！Thislifeisbutaminute。Wemustalldie。"
　　"Butnotthey——notsoyoung！"Sheclungtohisknees，andlookedup。
　　"Daddy，Idon’twantyoutogo;promisemetocomeback！"
　　Thechildishnessofthosewordsbroughtbackhisbalance。
　　"Mydearsweetheart，ofcourse！Come，Nollie，getup。Thesun’sbeentoomuchforyou。"
　　Noelgotup，andputherhandsonherfather’sshoulders。"Forgivemeforallmybadness，andallmybadnesstocome，especiallyallmybadnesstocome！"
　　Piersonsmiled。"Ishallalwaysforgiveyou，Nollie;buttherewon’tbe——theremustn’tbeanybadnesstocome。IprayGodtokeepyou，andmakeyoulikeyourmother。"
　　"Motherneverhadadevil，likeyouandme。"
　　Hewassilentfromsurprise。Howdidthischildknowthedevilofwildfeelinghehadfoughtagainstyearafteryear;untilwiththemanyyearshehadfeltitweakeningwithinhim！Shewhisperedon:"Idon’thatemydevil。
　　WhyshouldI？——it’spartofme。Everydaywhenthesunsets，I’llthinkofyou，Daddy;andyoumightdothesame——that’llkeepmegood。
　　Ishan’tcometothestationtomorrow，Ishouldonlycry。AndI
　　shan’tsaygood—byenow。It’sunlucky。"
　　Sheflungherarmsroundhim;andhalfsmotheredbythatferventembrace，hekissedhercheeksandhair。Freedofeachotheratlast，hestoodforamomentlookingatherbythemoonlight。
　　"Thereneverwasanyonemorelovingthanyou;Nollie！"hesaidquietly。"Remembermyletter。Andgoodnight，mylove！"Then，afraidtostayanothersecond，hewentquicklyoutofthedarklittleroom……
　　GeorgeLaird，returninghalfanhourlater，heardavoicesayingsoftly:"George，George！"
　　Lookingup，hesawalittlewhitebluratthewindow，andNoel’sfacejustvisible。
　　"George，letthegoatloose，justforto—night，topleaseme。"
　　Somethinginthatvoice，andinthegestureofherstretched—outarmmovedGeorgeinaqueerway，although，asPiersonhadoncesaid，hehadnomusicinhissoul。Heloosedthegoat。
　　IV
　　IntheweekswhichsucceededPierson’sdeparture，GratianandGeorgeoftendiscussedNoel’sconductandpositionbythelightofthePragmatictheory。Georgeheldasuitablyscientificview。Justashewouldpointouttohiswife——inthephysicalworld，creatureswhodivergedfromthenormalhadtojustifytheirdivergenceincompetitionwiththeirenvironments，orelsegounder，sointheethicalworlditwasallaquestionofwhetherNolliecouldmakegoodhervagary。Ifshecould，andgrewinstrengthofcharacterthereby，itwasipsofactoallright，hervagarywouldbeprovedanadvantage，andtheworldenriched。Ifnot，theworldbyherfailuretomakegoodwouldbeimpoverished，andhervagaryprovedwrong。Theorthodoxandacademies——heinsisted——werealwaysforgettingtheadaptabilityoflivingorganisms;howeveryactionwhichwasoutoftheordinary，unconsciouslymodifiedalltheotheractionstogetherwiththeoutlook，andphilosophyofthedoer。"OfcourseNolliewascrazy，"hesaid，"butwhenshedidwhatshedid，sheatoncebegantothinkdifferentlyaboutlifeandmorals。Thedeepestinstinctweallhaveistheinstinctthatwemustdowhatwemust，andthinkthatwhatwe’vedoneisreallyallright;infactthe——instinctofself—
　　preservation。We’reallfightinganimals;andwefeelinourbonesthatifweadmitwe’rebeaten——wearebeaten;butthateveryfightwewin，especiallyagainstodds，hardensthosebones。ButpersonallyI
　　don’tthinkshecanmakegoodonherown。"
　　Gratian，whosePragmatismwasnotyetfullybaked，respondeddoubtfully:
　　"No，Idon’tthinkshecan。AndifshecouldI’mnotsure。Butisn’tPragmatismaperfectlybeastlyword，George？Ithasnosenseofhumourinitatall。"
　　"Itisabitthick，andinthehandsoftheyoung，deucedlikelytobecomePrigmatism;butnotwithNollie。"
　　Theywatchedthevictimoftheirdiscussionswithrealanxiety。Theknowledgethatshewouldneverbemoreshelteredthanshewaswiththem，atalleventsuntilshemarried，gravelyimpededtheformationofanyjudgmentastowhetherornoshecouldmakegood。NowandagaintherewouldcometoGratianwhoafterallknewhersisterbetterthanGeorge——thedisquietingthoughtthatwhateverconclusionNoelledthemtoform，shewouldalmostcertainlyforcethemtoabandonsoonerorlater。
　　Threedaysafterherfather’sdepartureNoelhaddeclaredthatshewantedtoworkontheland。ThisGeorgehadpromptlyvetoed。
　　"Youaren’tstrongenoughyet，mydear:Waittilltheharvestbegins。
　　Thenyoucangoandhelponthefarmhere。Ifyoucanstandthatwithoutdamage，we’llthinkaboutit。"
　　Buttheweatherwaswetandharvestlate，andNoelhadnothingmuchtodobutattendtoherbaby，alreadywellattendedtobyNurse，anddreamandbrood，andnowandthencookanomeletteordosomehouseworkforthesakeofagnawingconscience。SinceGratianandGeorgewereawayinhospitalallday，shewasverymuchalone。
　　SeveraltimesintheeveningsGratiantriedtocomeatthecoreofherthoughts，TwicesheflewthekiteofLeila。ThefirsttimeNoelonlyanswered:"Yes，she’sabrick。"Thesecondtime，shesaid:"I
　　don’twanttothinkabouther。"
　　But，hardeningherheart，Gratianwenton:"Don’tyouthinkit’squeerwe’veneverheardfromCaptainFortsincehecamedown？"
　　InhercalmestvoiceNoelanswered:"Whyshouldwe，afterbeingtoldthathewasn’tliked？"
　　"Whotoldhimthat？"
　　"Itoldhim，thatDaddydidn’t;butIexpectDaddysaidmuchworsethings。"Shegavealittlelaugh，thensoftlyadded:"Daddy’swonderful，isn’the？"
　　"How？"
　　"Thewayhedrivesonetodotheotherthing。Ifhehadn’topposedmymarriagetoCyril，youknow，thatwouldn’thavehappened，itjustmadeallthedifference。Itstirredmeupsofearfully。"Gratianstaredather，astonishedthatshecouldseeherselfsoclearly。
　　TowardstheendofAugustshehadaletterfromFort。
　　"DEARMRS。LAIRD，"Youknowallaboutthings，ofcourse，excepttheonethingwhichtomeisallimportant。Ican’tgoonwithoutknowingwhetherIhaveachancewithyoursister。Itisagainstyourfather’sexpressedwishthatsheshouldhaveanythingtodowithme，butItoldhimthatI
　　couldnotandwouldnotpromisenottoaskher。Igetmyholidayattheendofthismonth，andamcomingdowntoputittothetouch。Itmeansmoretomethanyoucanpossiblyimagine。
　　"Iam，dearMrs。Laird，"Yourveryfaithfulservant，"JAMESFORT。"
　　ShediscussedtheletterwithGeorge，whoseadvicewas:"Answeritpolitely，butsaynothing;andnothingtoNollie。Ithinkitwouldbeaverygoodthing。Ofcourseit’sabitofamake—shift——twiceherage;buthe’sagenuineman，ifnotexactlybrilliant。"
　　Gratianansweredalmostsullenly:"I’vealwayswantedtheverybestforNollie。"
　　Georgescreweduphissteel—colouredeyes，ashemighthavelookedatoneonwhomhehadtooperate。"Quiteso，"hesaid。"Butyoumustremember，Gracie，thatoutoftheswanshewas，Nolliehasmadeherselfintoalameduck。Fiftypercentatleastisoffhervalue，socially。Wemustlookatthingsastheyare。"
　　"Fatherisdeadagainstit。"
　　Georgesmiled，onthepointofsaying:’Thatmakesmefeelitmustbeagoodthing’Buthesubduedtheimpulse。
　　"Iagreethatwe’reboundbyhisabsencenottofurtheritactively。
　　StillNollieknowshiswishes，andit’suptoherandnooneelse。
　　Afterall，she’snolongerachild。"
　　Hisadvicewasfollowed。Buttowritethatpoliteletter，whichsaidnothing，costGratianasleeplessnight，andtwoorthreehours’
　　penmanship。Shewasveryconscientious。Knowledgeofthisimpendingvisitincreasedtheanxietywithwhichshewatchedhersister，buttheonlyinklingsheobtainedofNoel’sstateofmindwaswhenthegirlshowedheralettershehadreceivedfromThirza，askinghertocomebacktoKestrel。Apostscript，inUncleBob’shandwriting，addedthesewords:
　　"We’regettingquitefossiliseddownhere;Eve’sgoneandleftusagain。Wemissyouandtheyoungsterawfully。Comealongdown，Nolliethere’sadear！"
　　"They’redarlings，"Noelsaid，"butIshan’tgo。I’mtoorestless，eversinceDaddywent;youdon’tknowhowrestless。Thisrainsimplymakesmewanttodie。"
　　2
　　Theweatherimprovednextday，andattheendofthatweekharvestbegan。BywhatseemedtoNoelastrokeofluckthefarmer’sbinderwasbroken;hecouldnotgetitrepaired，andwantedallthehumanbindershecouldget。Thatfirstdayinthefieldsblisteredherhands，burntherfaceandneck，madeeverynerveandboneinherbodyache;butwasthehappiestdayshehadspentforweeks，thehappiestperhapssinceCyrilMorlandlefther，overayearago。Shehadabathandwenttobedthemomentshegotin。
　　Lyingtherenibblingchocolateandsmokingacigarette，sheluxuriatedinthewearinesswhichhadstilledherdreadfulrestlessness。Watchingthesmokeofhercigarettecurlupagainstthesunsetglowwhichfilledherwindow，shemused:Ifonlyshecouldbetiredoutlikethiseveryday！Shewouldbeallrightthen，wouldlosethefeelingofnotknowingwhatshewanted，ofbeinginasortooflargebox，withthelidslammeddown，roamingrounditlikeadazedandhomesickbeeinanoverturnedtumbler;thefeelingofbeingonlyhalfalive，ofhavingawingmaimedsothatshecouldonlyflyalittleway，andmustthendrop。
　　Shesleptlikeatopthatnight。Butthenextday’sworkwasrealtorture，andthethirdnotmuchbetter。Bytheendoftheweek，however，shewasnolongerstiff。
　　Saturdaywascloudless;aperfectday。Thefieldshewasworkinginlayonaslope。Itwasthelastfieldtobecut，andthebestwheatyet，withagloriousburntshadeinitsgoldandtheearsbluntandfull。Shehadgotusednowtothefeelofthegreatsheavesinherarms，andthebindingwispsdrawnthroughherhandtillsheheldthemlevel，belowtheears，readyforthetwist。Therewasnonewsensationinitnow;juststeady，ratherdreamywork，tokeepherplaceintherow，totheswish—swishofthecutterandthecallofthedrivertohishorsesattheturns;withcontinuallittlepauses，tostraightenandrestherbackamoment，andshakeherheadfreefromtheflies，orsuckherfinger，sorefromtheconstantpushingofthestrawendsunder。Sothehourswenton，ratherhotandwearisome，yetwithafeelingofsomethinggoodbeingdone，ofajobgettingsurelytoitsend。Andgraduallythecentrepatchnarrowed，andthesunslowlyslanteddown。
　　Whentheystoppedfortea，insteadofrunninghomeasusual，shedrankitcoldoutofaflaskshehadbrought，ateabunandsomechocolate，andlaydownonherbackagainstthehedge。Shealwaysavoidedthatgroupofherfellowworkersroundthetea—canswhichthefarmer’swifebroughtout。Toavoidpeople，ifshecould，hadbecomehabitualtohernow。Theymustknowabouther，orwouldsoonifshegavethemthechance。Shehadneverlostconsciousnessofherring—
　　finger，expectingeveryeyetofallonitasamatterofcourse。
　　Lyingonherface，shepuffedhercigaretteintothegrass，andwatchedabeetle，tilloneofthesheep—dogs，scoutingforscraps，cameup，andshefedhimwithhersecondbun。Havingfinishedthebun，hetriedtoeatthebeetle，and，whensherescuedit，convincedthatshehadnothingmoretogivehim，sneezedather，andwentaway。
　　Pressingtheendofhercigaretteoutagainstthebank，sheturnedover。Alreadythedriverwasperchedonhistinyseat，andhiscompanion，whosebusinessitwastofreethefallingcorn，wasgettingupalongside。Swish—swish！Ithadbegunagain。Sherose，stretchedherself，andwentbacktoherplaceintherow。Thefieldwouldbefinishedto—night;shewouldhavealovelyrest—allSundayI
　　Towardsseveno’clockanarrowstrip，nottwentyyardsbroad，alonewasleft。ThislasthalfhourwaswhatNoeldreaded。To—dayitwasworse，forthefarmerhadnocartridgesleft，andtherabbitsweredealtwithbyhullabalooandsticksandchasingdogs。Rabbitswerevermin，ofcourse，andatethecrops，andmustbekilled;besides，theyweregoodfood，andfetchedtwoshillingsapiece;allthissheknewbuttoseethepoorfrightenedthingsstealingout，pouncedon，turned，shoutedat，chased，rolledoverbygreatswiftdogs，fallenonbytheboysandkilledandcarriedwiththeirlimpgreybodiesupsidedown，sodeadandsoftandhelpless，alwaysmadeherfeelquitesick。Shestoodverystill，tryingnottoseeorhear，andinthecornoppositetoherarabbitstolealong，crouched，andpeeped。
　　’Oh！’shethought，’comeouthere，bunny。I’llletyouaway——can’tyouseeIwill？It’syouronlychance。Comeout！’Buttherabbitcrouched，andgazed，withitslittlecowedheadpokedforward，anditsearslaidflat;itseemedtryingtounderstandwhetherthisstillthinginfrontofitwasthesameasthoseothers。Withthethought，’Ofcourseitwon’twhileIlookatit，’Noelturnedherheadaway。
　　Outofthecornerofhereyeshecouldseeamanstandingafewyardsoff。Therabbitboltedout。Nowthemanwouldshoutandturnit。
　　Buthedidnot，andtherabbitscuttledpasthimandawaytothehedge。Sheheardashoutfromtheendoftherow，sawadoggalloping。Toolate！Hurrah！Andclaspingherhands，shelookedattheman。ItwasFort！Withthequeerestfeeling——amazement，pleasure，thethrillofconspiracy，shesawhimcominguptoher。
　　"Ididwantthatrabbittogetoff，"shesighedout;"I’vebeenwatchingit。Thankyou！"
　　Helookedather。"Mygoodness！"wasallhesaid。
　　Noel’shandsflewuptohercheeks。"Yes，Iknow;ismynoseveryred？"
　　"No;you’reaslovelyasRuth，ifshewaslovely。"
　　Swish—swish！Thecuttercameby;Noelstartedforwardtoherplaceintherow;butcatchingherarm，hesaid:"No，letmedothislittlebit。Ihaven’thadadayinthefieldssincethewarbegan。TalktomewhileI’mbinding。"
　　Shestoodwatchinghim。Hemadeadifferent，strongertwistfromhers，andtooklargersheaves，sothatshefeltasortofjealousy。
　　"Ididn’tknowyouknewaboutthissortofthing。"
　　"Oh，Lord，yes！IhadafarmonceoutWest。Nothinglikefield—
　　work，tomakeyoufeelgood。I’vebeenwatchingyou;youbindjollywell。"
　　Noelgaveasighofpleasure。
　　"Wherehaveyoucomefrom？"sheasked。
　　"Straightfromthestation。I’monmyholiday。"Helookedupather，andtheybothfellsilent。
　　Swish—swish！Thecutterwascomingagain。Noelwenttothebeginningofherportionofthefallingcorn，hetotheendofit。
　　Theyworkedtowardseachother，andmetbeforethecutterwasonthemathirdtime。
　　"Willyoucomeintosupper？"
　　"I’dloveto。"
　　"Thenlet’sgonow，please。Idon’twanttoseeanymorerabbitskilled。"
　　Theyspokeverylittleonthewaytothebungalow，butshefelthiseyesonherallthetime。ShelefthimwithGeorgeandGratianwhohadjustcomein，andwentupforherbath。
　　Supperhadbeenlaidoutintheverandah，anditwasnearlydarkbeforetheyhadfinished。InrhymewiththefailingofthelightNoelbecamemoreandmoresilent。Whentheywentin，sheranuptoherbaby。Shedidnotgodownagain，butasonthenightbeforeherfatherwentaway，stoodatherwindow，leaningout。Adarknight，nomoon;inthestarlightshecouldonlyjustseethedimgarden，wherenogoatwasgrazing。Nowthatherfirstexcitementhadwornoff，thissuddenreappearanceofFortfilledherwithnervousmelancholy:
　　Sheknewperfectlywellwhathehadcomefor，shehadalwaysknown。
　　Shehadnocertainknowledgeofherownmind;butsheknewthatalltheseweeksshehadbeenbetweenhisinfluenceandherfather’s，listeningtothem，asitwere，pleadingwithher。And，curiously，thepleadingofeach，insteadofdrawinghertowardsthepleader，hadseemeddraggingherawayfromhim，drivingherintothearmsoftheother。Totheprotectionofoneortheothershefeltshemustgo;
　　andithumiliatedhertothinkthatinalltheworldtherewasnootherplaceforher。ThewildnessofthatonenightintheoldAbbeyseemedtohavepowertogovernallherlifetocome。Whyshouldthatonenight，thatoneact，havethisuncannypowertodriveherthiswayorthat，tothosearmsorthese？Mustshe，becauseofit，alwaysneedprotection？Standingthereinthedarkitwasalmostasiftheyhadcomeupbehindher，withtheirpleadings;andashiverrandownherback。Shelongedtoturnonthem，andcryout:"Goaway;oh;goaway！Idon’twanteitherofyou;Ijustwanttobeleftalone！"
　　Thensomething，amothperhaps，touchedherneck。Shegaspedandshookherself。Howsilly！
　　Sheheardthebackdoorroundthecornerofthehouseopening;aman’slowvoicedowninthedarksaid:
　　"Who’stheyoungladythatcomesoutinthefields？"
　　Anothervoice——oneofthemaids——answered:
　　"TheMissis’ssister。"
　　"Theysayshe’sgotababy。"
　　"Neveryoumindwhatshe’sgot。"
　　Noelheardtheman’slaugh。Itseemedtoherthemostodiouslaughshehadeverheard。Shethoughtswiftlyandabsurdly:’I’llgetawayfromallthis。’Thewindowwasonlyafewfeetup。Shegotoutontotheledge，letherselfdown，anddropped。Therewasaflower—bedbelow，quitesoft，withascentofgeranium—leavesandearth。Shebrushedherself，andwenttiptoeingacrossthegravelandthelittlefrontlawn，tothegate。Thehousewasquitedark，quitesilent。
　　Shewalkedon，downtheroad。’Jolly！’shethought。’Nightafternightwesleep，andneverseethenights:sleepuntilwe’recalled，andneverseeanything。Iftheywanttocatchmethey’llhavetorun。’Andshebeganrunningdowntheroadinhereveningfrockandshoes，withnothingonherhead。Shestoppedaftergoingperhapsthreehundredyards，bytheedgeofthewood。Itwassplendidlydarkinthere，andshegropedherwayfromtrunktotrunk，withadelicious，half—scaredsenseofadventureandnovelty。Shestoppedatlastbyathintrunkwhosebarkglimmeredfaintly。Shefeltitwithhercheek，quitesmooth——abirchtree;and，withherarmsroundit，shestoodperfectlystill。Wonderfully，magicallysilent，freshandsweet—scentedanddark！Thelittletreetrembledsuddenlywithinherarms，andsheheardthelowdistantrumble，towhichshehadgrownsoaccustomed——theguns，alwaysatwork，killing——killingmenandkillingtrees，littletreesperhapslikethiswithinherarms，littletremblingtrees！Outthere，inthisdarknight，therewouldnotbeasingleunscarredtreelikethissmoothquiveringthing，nofieldsofcorn，notevenabushorabladeofgrass，noleavestorustleandsmellsweet，notabird，nolittlesoft—footednightbeasts，excepttherats;andsheshuddered，thinkingoftheBelgiansoldier—painter。Holdingthetreetight，shesqueezeditssmoothbodyagainsther。Arushofthesamehelpless，hopelessrevoltandsorrowovertookher，whichhadwrungfromherthatpassionatelittleoutbursttoherfather，thenightbeforehewentaway。Killed，torn，andbruised;burned，andkilled，likeCyril！Alltheyoungthings，likethislittletree。
　　Rumble！Rumble！Quiver！Quiver！Andallelsesostill，sosweetandstill，andstarry，uptherethroughtheleaves……’Ican’tbearit！’shethought。Shepressedherlips，whichthesunhadwarmedallday，againstthesatinysmoothbark。Butthelittletreestoodwithinherarmsinsentient，quiveringonlytothelongrumbles。Witheachofthosedullmutterings，lifeandloveweregoingout，liketheflamesofcandlesonaChristmas—tree，blown，onebyone。Tohereyes，accustomedbynowtothedarknessinthere，thewoodseemedslowlytobegatheringasortoflife，asthoughitwereagreatthingwatchingher;agreatthingwithhundredsoflimbsandeyes，andthepowerofbreathing。Thelittletree，whichhadseemedsoindividualandfriendly，ceasedtobeacomfortandbecameapartofthewholelivingwood，absorbedinitself，andcoldlywatchingher，thisintruderofthemischievousbreed，thefatalbreedwhichloosedthoserumblingsontheearth。Noelunlockedherarms，andrecoiled。
　　Aboughscrapedherneck，someleavesflewagainsthereyes;shesteppedaside，trippedoveraroot，andfell。Aboughhadhithertoo，andshelayalittledazed，quiveringatsuchdarkunfriendliness。Sheheldherhandsuptoherfaceforthemerepleasureofseeingsomethingalittlelessdark;itwaschildish，andabsurd，butshewasfrightened。Thewoodseemedtohavesomanyeyes，somanyarms，andallunfriendly;itseemedwaitingtogiveherotherblows，otherfalls，andtoguardherwithinitsdarknessuntil——！Shegotup，movedafewsteps，andstoodstill，shehadforgottenfromwhereshehadcomein。Andafraidofmovingdeeperintotheunfriendlywood，sheturnedslowlyround，tryingtotellwhichwaytogo。Itwasalljustonedarkwatchingthing，oflimbsonthegroundandintheair。’Anyway，’shethought;’anywayofcoursewilltakemeout！’Andshegropedforward，keepingherhandsuptoguardherface。Itwassilly，butshecouldnothelpthesinking，scatteredfeelingwhichcomestoonebushed，orlostinafog。Ifthewoodhadnotbeensodark，so，——alive！Andforasecondshehadthesenseless，terrifyingthoughtofachild:’WhatifI
　　nevergetout！’Thenshelaughedatit，andstoodstillagain，listening。Therewasnosoundtoguideher，nosoundatallexceptthatfaintdullrumble，whichseemedtocomefromeveryside，now。
　　Andthetreeswatchedher。’Ugh！’shethought;’Ihatethiswood！’
　　Shesawitnow，itssnakybranches，itsdarkness，andgreatforms，asanabodeofgiantsandwitches。Shegropedandscrambledonagain，trippedoncemore，andfell，hittingherforeheadagainstatrunk。
　　Theblowdazedandsoberedher。’It’sidiotic，’shethought;’I’mababy！I’llJustwalkveryslowlytillIreachtheedge。Iknowitisn’talargewood！’Sheturneddeliberatelytofaceeachdirection;
　　solemnlyselectedthatfromwhichthemutteringofthegunsseemedtocome，andstartedagain，movingveryslowlywithherhandsstretchedout。Somethingrustledintheundergrowth，quiteclose，;shesawapairofgreeneyesshining。Herheartjumpedintohermouth。Thethingsprang——therewasaswishoffernsandtwigs，andsilence。
　　Noelclaspedherbreast。Apoachingcat！Andagainshemovedforward。Butshehadlostdirection。’I’mgoingroundandround，’
　　shethought。’Theyalwaysdo。’Andthesinkingscatteredfeelingofthe"bushed"clutchedatheragain。’ShallIcall？’shethought。’I
　　mustbeneartheroad。Butit’ssobabyish。’Shemovedonagain。
　　Herfootstrucksomethingsoft。Avoicemutteredathickoath;ahandseizedherankle。Sheleaped，anddraggedandwrencheditfree;
　　and，utterlyunnerved，shescreamed，andranforwardblindly。
　　V
　　NoonecouldhavesoconvincedafeelingasJimmyFortthathewouldbea’bitofamakeshift’forNoel。Hehadspenttheweeksafterhisinterviewwithherfatherobsessedbyherimage，oftensayingtohimself"Itwon’tdo。It’splayingittoolowdowntotryandgetthatchild，whenIknowthat，butforhertrouble，Ishouldn’thaveachance。"Hehadneverhadmuchopinionofhislooks，butnowheseemedtohimselfabsurdlyoldanddried—upinthisdesertofaLondon。HeloathedtheOfficejobtowhichtheyhadputhim，andthewholeatmosphereofofficialdom。Anotheryearofit，andhewouldshrivellikeanoldapple！Hebegantolookathimselfanxiously，takingstockofhisphysicalassetsnowthathehadthisdreamofyoungbeauty。Hewouldbefortynextmonth，andshewasnineteen！
　　Buttherewouldbetimestoowhenhewouldfeelthat，withher，hecouldbeasmuchofa"three—year—old"astheyoungstershehadloved。Havinglittlehopeofwinningher，hetookher"past"butlightly。Wasitnotthatpastwhichgavehimwhatchancehehad？Ontwothingshewasdetermined:Hewouldnottradeonherpast。Andifbyanychanceshetookhim，hewouldnevershowherthatherememberedthatshehadone。
　　AfterwritingtoGratianhehadspenttheweekbeforehisholidaybegan，inanattempttorenewtheyouthfulnessofhisappearance，whichmadehimfeelolder，leaner，bonierandbrownerthanever。Hegotupearly，rodeintherain，tookTurkishbaths，anddidallmannerofexercises;neithersmokednordrank，andwenttobedearly，exactlyasifhehadbeengoingtorideasteeplechase。Ontheafternoon，whenatlastheleftonthatterrificpilgrimage，hegazedathisfacewithasortofdespair，itwassolean，andleather—
　　coloured，andhecountedalmostadozengreyhairs。
　　Whenhereachedthebungalow，andwastoldthatshewasworkinginthecorn—fields，hehadforthefirsttimeafeelingthatFatewasonhisside。Suchameetingwouldbeeasierthananyother！Hehadbeenwatchingherforseveralminutesbeforeshesawhim，withhisheartbeatingmoreviolentlythanithadeverbeateninthetrenches;
　　andthatnewfeelingofhopestayedwithhim——allthroughthegreeting，throughoutsupper，andevenaftershehadleftthemandgoneupstairs。Then，withthesuddennessofablinddrawndown，itvanished，andhesaton，tryingtotalk，andslowlygettingmoreandmoresilentandrestless。
　　"Nolliegetssotired，working，"Gratiansaid:Heknewshemeantitkindlybutthatsheshouldsayitatallwasominous。Hegotupatlast，havinglosthopeofseeingNoelagain，conscioustoothathehadansweredthelastthreequestionsatrandom。
　　IntheporchGeorgesaid:"You’llcomeintolunchtomorrow，won’tyou？"
　　"Oh，thanks，I’mafraidit’llboreyouall。"
　　"Notabit。Nolliewon’tbesotired。"
　　Again——sowellmeant。Theywereverykind。Helookedupfromthegate，tryingtomakeoutwhichherwindowmightbe;butallwasdark。
　　Alittlewaydowntheroadhestoppedtolightacigarette;and，leaningagainstagate，drewthesmokeofitdeepintohislungs，tryingtoassuagetheacheinhisheart。Soitwashopeless！Shehadtakenthefirst，theveryfirstchance，togetawayfromhim！
　　Sheknewthathelovedher，couldnothelpknowing，forhehadneverbeenabletokeepitoutofhiseyesandvoice。Ifshehadfelteversolittleforhim，shewouldnothaveavoidedhimthisfirstevening。
　　’I’llgobacktothatdesert，’hethought;’I’mnotgoingtowhineandcrawl。I’llgoback，andbiteonit;onemusthavesomepride。
　　Oh，whythehellamIcrocked—uplikethis？IfonlyIcouldgetouttoFranceagain！’AndthenNoel’sfigurebentoverthefallingcornformedbeforehim。’I’llhaveonemoretry，’hethought;’onemore——
　　tomorrowsomewhere，I’llgettoknowforcertain。AndifIgetwhatLeila’sgotIshalldeserveit，Isuppose。PoorLeila！Whereisshe？BackatHighConstantia？’Whatwasthat？Acry——ofterror——inthatwood！Crossingtotheedge，hecalled"Coo—ee！"andstoodpeeringintoitsdarkness。Heheardthesoundofbushesbeingbrushedaside，andwhistled。Afigurecameburstingout，almostintohisarms。
　　"Hallo！"hesaid;"what’sup？"
　　Avoicegasped:"Oh！It’s——it’snothing！"
　　HesawNoel。Shehadswayedback，andstoodaboutayardaway。Hecoulddimlyseehercoveringherfacewithherarms。Feelinginstinctivelythatshewantedtohideherfright，hesaidquietly:
　　"Whatluck！Iwasjustpassing。It’sawfullydark。"
　　"I——Igotlost;andaman——caughtmyfoot，inthere！"
　　Movedbeyondcontrolbythelittlegulpsandgaspsofherbreathing，hesteppedforwardandputhishandsonhershoulders。Heheldherlightly，withoutspeaking，terrifiedlestheshouldwoundherpride。
　　"I—Igotinthere，"shegasped，"andthetrees——andIstumbledoveraroanasleep，andhe——"
　　"Yes，Yes，Iknow，"hemurmured，asiftoachild。Shehaddroppedherarmsnow，andhecouldseeherface，witheyesunnaturallydilated，andlipsquivering。Thenmovedagainbeyondcontrol，hedrewhersoclosethathecouldfeelthethrobbingofherheart，andputhislipstoherforeheadallwetwithheat。Sheclosedhereyes，gavealittlechoke，andburiedherfaceagainsthiscoat。
　　"There，there，mydarling！"hekeptonsaying。"There，there，mydarling！"Hecouldfeelthesnugglingofhercheekagainsthisshoulder。Hehadgother——hadgother！Hewassomehowcertainthatshewouldnotdrawbacknow。Andinthewonderandecstasyofthatthought，alltheworldaboveherhead，thestarsintheircourses，thewoodwhichhadfrightenedher，seemedmiraclesofbeautyandfitness。Bysuchfortuneashadnevercometoman，hehadgother！
　　Andhemurmuredoverandoveragain:
　　"Iloveyou！"Shewasrestingperfectlyquietagainsthim，whileherheartceasedgraduallytobeatsofast。HecouldfeelhercheekrubbingagainsthiscoatofHarristweed。Suddenlyshesniffedatit，andwhispered:
　　"Itsmellsgood。"
　　VI
　　WhensummersunhasburnedallEgypt，thewhitemanlookseagerlyeachdayforevening，whoserose—colouredveilmeltsopalescentintothedundrift，ofthehills，andiridescentabove，intotheslowlydeepeningblue。Piersonstoodgazingatthemysteryofthedesertfromunderthelittlegroupofpalmsandbougainvilleawhichformedthegardenofthehospital。Even—songwasinfullvoice:Fromthefarwingagramophonewasgrindingoutamusic—hallditty;twoaeroplanes，wheelingexactlylikethebuzzardsofthedesert，werelettingdripthefaintwhiroftheirflight;metallicvoicesdriftedfromtheArabvillage;thewheelsofthewater—wellscreaked;andeverynowandthenadryrustlewasstirredfromthepalm—leavesbypuffsofdesertwind。Oneitherhandanoldroadranout，whoselinecouldbemarkedbythelittleoldwatch—towersofanotherage。ForhowmanyhundredyearshadhumanlifepassedalongittoEastandWest;thebrownmenandtheircamels，threadingthatimmemorialtrackoverthedesert，whicheverfilledhimwithwonder，sostillitwas，sowide，sodesolate，andeveryeveningsobeautiful！Hesometimesfeltthathecouldsitforeverlookingatit;asthoughitscruelmysteriouslovelinesswere——home;andyetheneverlookedatitwithoutaspasmofhomesickness。
　　Sofarhisnewworkhadbroughthimnonearertotheheartsofmen。
　　Oratleasthedidnotfeelithad。Bothattheregimentalbase，andnowinthishospital——anintermediatestage——waitingforthedraftwithwhichhewouldbegoingintoPalestine，allhadbeenverynicetohim，friendly，andasitwereindulgent;somightschoolboyshavetreatedsomewell—intentioneddreamymaster，orbusinessmenaharmlessidealisticinventorwhocamevisitingtheiroffices。Hehadeventhefeelingthattheyweregladtohavehimabout，justastheyweregladtohavetheirmascotsandtheirregimentalcolours;butofheart—to—heartsimplecomradeship——itseemedtheyneitherwanteditofhimnorexpectedhimtogiveit，sothathehadafeelingthathewouldbeforwardandimpertinenttoofferit。Moreover，henolongerknewhow。Hewasverylonely。’WhenIcomefacetofacewithdeath，’hewouldthink，’itwillbedifferent。Deathmakesusallbrothers。Imaybeofrealusetothemthen。’
　　Theybroughthimaletterwhilehestoodtherelisteningtothateven—song，gazingattheolddesertroad。
　　"DARLINGDAD，"IdohopethiswillreachyoubeforeyoumoveontoPalestine。Yousaidinyourlast——attheendofSeptember，soIhopeyou’lljustgetit。Thereisonegreatpieceofnews，whichI’mafraidwillhurtandtroubleyou;NollieismarriedtoJimmyFort。Theyweremarrieddownherethisafternoon，andhavejustgoneuptoTown。Theyhavetofindahouseofcourse。Shehasbeenveryrestless，lonely，andunhappyeversinceyouwent，andI’msureitisreallyforthebest:
　　Sheisquiteanothercreature，andsimplydevoted，headlong。It’sjustlikeNollie。Shesaysshedidn’tknowwhatshewanted，uptothelastminute。Butnowsheseemsasifshecouldneverwantanythingelse。
　　"Daddear，Nolliecouldneverhavemadegoodbyherself。Itisn’thernature，andit’smuchbetterlikethis，Ifeelsure，andsodoesGeorge。Ofcourseitisn’tideal——andonewantedthatforher;butshedidbreakherwing，andheissoawfullygoodanddevotedtoher，thoughyoudidn’tbelieveit，andperhapswon’t，evennow。Thegreatthingistofeelherhappyagain，andknowshe’ssafe。Nollieiscapableofgreatdevotion;onlyshemustbeanchored。Shewasdriftingallabout;andonedoesn’tknowwhatshemighthavedone，inoneofhermoods。Idohopeyouwon’tgrieveaboutit。She’sdreadfullyanxiousabouthowyou’llfeel。Iknowitwillbewretchedforyou，sofaroff;butdotryandbelieveit’sforthebest……
　　She’soutofdanger;andshewasreallyinahorribleposition。It’ssogoodforthebaby，too，andonlyfairtohim。Idothinkonemusttakethingsastheyare，Daddear。ItwasimpossibletomendNollie’swing。Ifshewereafighter，andgloriedinit，orifshewerethesortwhowould’taketheveil’——butsheisn’teither。Soitisallright，Dad。She’swritingtoyouherself。I’msureLeiladidn’twantJimmyForttobeunhappybecausehecouldn’tloveher;orshewouldneverhavegoneaway。Georgesendsyouhislove;wearebothverywell。AndNollieislookingsplendidstill，afterherharvestwork。All，allmylove，Daddear。Isthereanythingwecanget，andsendyou？Dotakecareofyourblessedself，anddon’tgrieveaboutNollie。
　　"GRATIAN。"
　　Ahalf—sheetofpaperfluttereddown;hepickeditupfromamongtheparchedfibreofdeadpalm—leaves。
　　"DADDYDARLING，"I’vedoneit。Forgiveme—I’msohappy。
　　"YourNOLLIE。"
　　Thedesertshimmered，thepalm—leavesrustled，andPiersonstoodtryingtomastertheemotionrousedinhimbythosetwoletters。Hefeltnoanger，notevenvexation;hefeltnosorrow，butalonelinesssoutterandcompletethathedidnotknowhowtobearit。Itseemedasifsomelastlinkwithlifehad’snapped。’Mygirlsarehappy，’
　　hethought。’IfIamnot——whatdoesitmatter？Ifmyfaithandmyconvictionsmeannothingtothem——whyshouldtheyfollow？Imustandwillnotfeellonely。IoughttohavethesenseofGodpresent，tofeelHishandinmine。IfIcannot，whatuseamI——whatusetothepoorfellowsinthere，whatuseinalltheworld？’
　　Anoldnativeonadonkeywentby，pipingaSoudanesemelodyonalittlewoodenArabflute。Piersonturnedbackintothehospitalhummingit。Anursemethimthere。
　　"ThepoorboyattheendofAwardissinkingfast，sir;Iexpecthe’dliketoseeyou，"
　　HewentintoAward，andwalkeddownbetweenthebedstothewestwindowend，wheretwoscreenshadbeenput，toblockoffthecot。
　　Anothernurse，whowassittingbesideit，roseatonce。
　　"He’squiteconscious，"shewhispered;"hecanstillspeakalittle。
　　He’ssuchadear。"Atearrolleddownhercheek，andshepassedoutbehindthescreens。Piersonlookeddownattheboy;perhapshewastwenty，buttheunshavendownonhischeekswassoftandalmostcolourless。Hiseyeswereclosed。Hebreathedregularly，anddidnotseeminpain;buttherewasabouthimthatwhichtoldhewasgoing;somethingresigned，alreadyofthegrave。Thewindowwaswideopen，coveredbymosquito—netting，andatinylineofsunlight，slantingthroughacrossthefootofthecot，creptslowlybackwardsoverthesheetsandtheboy’sbody，shorteningasitcrept。Inthegreywhitenessofthewalls;thebed，theboy’sface，justthatpaleyellowbarofsunlight，andonesplashofredandbluefromalittleflagonthewallglowedout。Atthiscoolerhour，thewardbehindthescreenswasalmostempty，andfewsoundsbrokethestillness;butfromwithoutcamethatintermittentrustleofdrypalm—leaves。
　　Piersonwaitedinsilence，watchingthesunsink。Iftheboymightpasslikethis，itwouldbeGod’smercy。Thenhesawtheboy’seyesopen，wonderfullycleareyesofthelightedgreywhichhasdarkrims;
　　hislipsmoved，andPiersonbentdowntohear。
　　"I’mgoin’West，zurr。"Thewhisperhadalittlesoftburr;thelipsquivered;apuckerasofachildformedonhisface，andpassed。
　　ThroughPierson’smindthereflashedthethought:’OGod！Letmebesomehelptohim！’
　　"ToGod，mydearson！"hesaid。
　　Aflickerofhumour，ofironicquestion，passedovertheboy’slips。
　　Terriblymoved，Piersonkneltdown，andbegansoftly，ferventlypraying。Hiswhisperingmingledwiththerustleofthepalm—leaves，whilethebarofsunlightcreptupthebody。Intheboy’ssmilehadbeenthewholeofstoicdoubt，ofstoicacquiescence。Ithadmethimwithanunconsciouschallenge;hadseemedtoknowsomuch。Piersontookhishand，whichlayoutsidethesheet。Theboy’slipsmoved，asthoughinthanks;hedrewalongfeeblebreath，asiftosuckinthethreadofsunlight;andhiseyesclosed。Piersonbentoverthehand。
　　Whenhelookeduptheboywasdead。Hekissedhisforeheadandwentquietlyout。
　　Thesunhadset，andhewalkedawayfromthehospitaltoahillockbeyondthetrackonthedesert’sedge，andstoodlookingattheafterglow。Thesunandtheboy——togethertheyhadgoneWest，intothatwideglowingnothingness。
　　ThemuezzincalltosunsetprayerintheArabvillagecametohimclearandsharp，whilehesatthere，unutterablylonely。Whyhadthatsmilesomovedhim？Otherdeathsmileshadbeenlikethiseveningsmileonthedeserthills——aglowingpeace，apromiseofheaven。Buttheboy’ssmilehadsaid:’Wastenobreathonme——youcannothelp。Whoknows——whoknows？Ihavenohope，nofaith;butI
　　amadventuring。Good—bye！’Poorboy！Hehadbravedallthings，andmovedoutuncertain，yetundaunted！Wasthat，then，theuttermosttruth，wasfaithasmallerthing？Butfromthatstrangenotionhe。
　　recoiledwithhorror。’InfaithIhavelived，infaithIwilldie！’
　　hethought，’Godhelpingme！’Andthebreeze，rufflingthedesertsand，blewthegrainsagainstthepalmsofhishands，outstretchedabovethewarmearth。