"Itisacommonenoughstoryinthiscountry。Thelittlebabywasfivemonthsold,singularlybrightandattractive。McIntyrehimselfwasquitefoolishaboutit;and,indeed,thewholecongregationwerequiteworkedupoverit。Tooksuddenlyill,somemysterioustrouble;
  nodoctorwithinfortymiles;beforehearrivedthebabywasgone。
  Theyweredreadfullycutupaboutit。"
  "I——Inevernoticed,"saidShock,withasenseofshame。"Iwasn’tthinking。"
  TherewasnodemonstrationofsympathyonthepartofhispeoplewhenShockreturnedtohiswork。Onebyonetheycameupaftertheeveningservicetoshakehandswithhimandthentoleavehimalone。
  Butthatnight,whenallhadgoneexceptIke,whowashoveringaboutdownstairswithincallofShock,——who,wassittingupstairsaloneintheroomwhich,inthefulnessofhisjoy,hehadsetapartforhismother,——avoicewasheardaskingcautiously"Ishein?"
  "Yes,butIguesshe’sprettytired,"repliedIkedoubtfully。
  "I’dliketoseehimaminute,"repliedthevoice,withasuddenhuskiness。
  "Oh!It’syou,isit?"saidIke。"Well,comein。Yes,comerightupstairs。"AndCarrollcameheavilyupthestairswithPatsyinhisarms。
  "Why,Carroll,thisisawfullygoodofyou!"exclaimedShock,goingtomeethim。
  "It’sthelittlelad,"saidCarroll。"It’sPatsy,he’sbreakin’theheartavhim,an’hewantstoseeyou,and,yourriverince,it’smeself——Iwantto——"Thevoicebrokedowncompletely。
  "Comein,comein!"criedShock,histearsflowingfast。"Come,Patsy,doyouwanttoseeme?Comeon,oldchap,Iwantyou,too。"
  HetookthelittlecrippleinhisarmsandheldhimtightwhilehistearsfelluponPatsy’sfaceandhands。
  "Isitforyourmother?"whisperedPatsyinanawestrucktone。
  "Yes,yes,Patsydear,"saidShock,whowasfastlosingcontrolofhimself,thelongpent—upgriefbreakingthroughallbarriersofself—control。"She’sgonefromme,Patsylad。"
  "But,"saidthelittleboy,liftinguphisbeautifulfaceinwonder。
  "Sure,isn’tshewidJesusHimselfandtheblessedangels?"
  "Oh,yes,Patsy,myboy!sheis,andit’snotrighttogrievetoomuch,butIcannothelpit,"saidShock,regainingcontrolofhimself。"ButIamgladyoucameintotellme,andwe’llalltrytobegoodmensothatsomedaywe’llallgothere,too。"
  Foralongtimetheysatlookingoutonthemoon—litlakeandthedistanthills,Shocktellingthelittleladheheldinhisarmsofthebeautifulcountrytowhichhismotherhadgone。
  ThatnightwasthebeginningofbetterthingsforthebigIrishman。
  Therevengehehadcherishedforsomanymonthspassedoutofhisheart,andamonghisclosestfriendsandhiswarmestcompanionsShockcouldcountfromthattimeforthTimCarroll。
  XVII
  BETTY’SLASTWORDS
  Thereisacertainstimulusingriefwhichlendsunrealstrengthtoendure,butNaturewillbeavengedinaphysicalandemotionalreaction,allthemoreterriblethatitisunexpected。Thenthefullweightofthesorrowpressesupontheheartalreadyexhausted,andthesenseoflossbecomesthemorepainfulbecauseitcanbefairlyestimated,andtheemptyplacecanbemoretrulymeasuredbecauseitisseeninitsrelationtotheordinarylife。
  SoitwaswithShock。Thefirstsharpstabofgriefwasover,andnowhecarriedwithhimthelongacheofawoundthatwouldnothealformanyaday。Hismotherhadfilledalargepartofhislife。Asfarbackintochildhoodashismemorycouldgo,thereshestoodbetweenhimandthegreatworld,hissuredefenceagainstallevil,hisrefugeinallsorrow;andashegrewintomanhoodshemadeforherselfalargerandlargerplaceinhisthoughtandinhislife。HewellknewhowshehadtoiledanddeniedherselfcomfortsandenduredhardshipsthathemightgainthatheightofeveryScottishmother’sambitionforherson,acollegeeducation,andhegaveherfullrewardintheloveofhisheartandthethoughtfuldevotionofhislife。Allhisinterestsandoccupations,hisstudies,hismissionworkintheWard,histriumphsonthefootballfield,allhesharedwithher,anduntilthelastyearnoonehadeverchallengedherplaceofsupremacyinhisheart。Hisfuturewasbuiltabouthismother。Shewastosharehiswork,herhomewastobeinhismanse,shewastobethecentreaboutwhichhislifewouldswing;andsincecomingtotheWesthehadbuiltupinimaginationanewlifestructure,inwhichhismotherhadherownancientplace。Inthisnewandfascinatingworkofexploring,organising,andupbuildinghefeltsure,too,ofhismother’seagersympathyandherwiseunderstanding。
  Ithadbeenthehappiestofallhisfanciesthathismothershouldpresideoverthenewhome,theopeningofwhichhadbeenattendedwithsuchprideandjoy。Shewouldbetheretolivewithhimeveryday,watchinghimgooutandwaitingforhimtocomein。
  Nowallthatwasgone。Ashismindranalongitsaccustomedgrooveseveryturnofthoughtsmotehimwithapangsharpandsudden。Shewasnolongerapartoftheplan。Allhadtobetakendown,thepartsreadjusted,thestructurerebuilt。HebegantounderstandtheConvener’swords,"Thisisahardcountry。"Itdemandedaman’slifeinallthefull,deepmeaningoftheword;hiswork,ofcourseofbodyandbrain,buthisheartaswell,andhisheart’streasures。
  InthemidstofhisdepressionandbewildermentIkebroughthimaletterwhichhadlaintwoweeksattheFort,andwhosedatewasnowsomefourweeksold。ItwasfromBrownandranthus:
  MyDearOldChap:
  Idonotknowhowtobeginthisletter。Theterriblysuddenandawfulcalamitythathasovertakenushasparalysedmymind,andI
  canhardlythinkstraight。Onethingthatstandsoutbeforeme,wipingoutalmosteveryotherthought,isthatourdearBettyisnomore。Youcannotimagineit,Iknow,forthoughIsawherinhercoffin,sosweetandlovely,butoh!sostill,Icannotgetmyselftobelieveit。Thecircumstancesconcerningherdeath,too,wereawfullysad,sosadthatitsimplygoesbeyondanywordsIhavetodescribethem。Iwilltrytobecoherent;but,thoughIshallgiveyouanaccountofwhathappened,Icannotbegintoconveytheimpressionuponmymind。Well,letmetry。
  YouknowMrs。FairbankshasbeenopposedallalongtoTheDon’sattentionstoBetty,andhastriedherbesttoblockhim。Afteryouleft,theoppositiongrewmoredetermined。Why,forthelifeofme,Icannotsay。ShehadapparentlymadeuphermindthatTheDonmustquit。Sheworkedeverykindofscheme,butitwasnogood。Thatpluckylittlegirl,inherownbright,jollyway,withoutcomingtoanopenbreak,wouldnotgivebackaninch,andTheDonkeptcomingtothehousejustbecauseBettyinsisted。Hewouldhavequitlongbefore,poorchap。Youknowhowproudheis。
  Well,Mrs。Fairbankssettoworktogainherpurpose。ShesomehowgotwindofthekindoflifeTheDonlivedinthiscityyearsago。
  Shesetenquiriesonfootandgotholdofthefactsprettywell。Youknowallaboutit,soIneednottellyou。Poorchap,hehadhisblackspots,sureenough。ShefurthermoregotLloydsomehowtocorroborateherfacts。JusthowmuchhelookedupforherIdon’tknow,butItellyouIhavequitLloyd。Heisablankedcad。IknowIshouldnotwritethis,andyouwillhatetoreadit,butitisthetruth。Hisconductduringthewholebusinesshasbeendamnable!
  damnable!damnable!IgnashmyteethasIwrite。
  Whenshehadeverythingreadyshesprunghermine。Itwasinherownhouseoneevening,whenLloyd,TheDon,andIwerethere,andtheFairbanks’newminister,Hooper,ayoungTrinityman,whohasbeenaclosefriendofTheDon’s,Idon’tknowhowlong,butsomeyearsatleast。Afinefellow。Godblesshim,sayI,againandagain。
  TheDonandBettyhadbeengoingitprettystrongthatevening,ratherunnecessarilyso,Ithink;andMrs。Fairbanksgotmoreandmoreworkedup,untilsheseemedtoloseherhead。AsTheDonwassayinggoodnightshespokeupandsaidinthathaughtywayofhers,"Mr。Balfour,thetimehascomewhenwemustsaygood—bye,andI
  mustaskyoutodiscontinueyourvisitstothishouse,andyourintimacywithmydaughter。"
  Well,weallsatup,Icantellyou。TheDonwentwhite,andred,andwhiteagain。Bettywalkedoverandstoodbyhisside,hereyesallblazing。
  "Mamma,"shecried,"whatareyousayingagainstthemanIlove!Doyoumeanto——"
  "Betty,"saidhermotherinherhaughtiestandcoldestandcalmestvoice,"beforeyougoanyfurther,listentome。Idonotchoosethatmydaughter,pureandunsullied,shouldgiveherselftoaroueandalibertine。"
  TheDontookasteptowardherandsaid:"Mrs。Fairbanks,someonehasmisledyou。Whatyousayisfalse,absolutelyandutterlyfalse。"Bettyglancedproudlyupintohisface。
  "False!"criedMrs。Fairbanks。"Then,Mr。Balfour,youforcemetoask,didyounotliveforsomemonthswithawomanonJarvisStreet?
  Wereyounotaconstantvisitorathousesofillreputeformonthsinthiscity?"
  PoorDon!Icanseehimyet。Hisfacegrewlivid,hiseyesstaring,ashestoodtherewithoutaword。
  "Don,"criedBetty,"tellheritisfalse!"andsheliftedherlittleheadproudly。"Tellheritisfalse,andIdon’tcarewhosaysitistrue。"StillTheDonstoodspeechless。
  "Alas!mypoorchild,"saidMrs。Fairbanks,"hecouldnotsayso。I
  havetheproofinmyhand。"Andshepulledaletteroutofherpocket。"Itistrue,andmuchmore——tootrue。Mr。Lloydhereknowsthistobetrue。Isitnotso,Mr。Lloyd?Ifthisisnottrue,speak。"ThepooroldDonturnedhiseyesimploringlytowardLloyd,likeamanhangingonhislasthope,butLloyd,thebeast!mumbledandstutteredsomethingorother。Bettyrantohim,caughthimbythearmandshookhim。"Speakout!"shesaid。"Sayitisallalie!"
  TheLloydsaidinathickkindofvoice,"Icannotsayso。"
  BettyturnedbacktoTheDon,andmayGodkeepmefromeverseeingafacelikehersagain。"Sayitisn’ttrue!"shesaid,puttingherhandonhisarm;andashestoodstill,whiteandspeechless,shegaveakindofcryoffear,andhorror,andIdon’tknowwhatelse。
  "Oh,Don,canthisbetrue——and——youkissedme!"
  ThenTheDonpulledhimselftogether,turnedtoMrs。Fairbanks,andbegantospeak,thewordspouringoutinaperfecttorrent。"Mrs。
  Fairbanks,youmustlistentome。Whatyousaywastrueofmeeightyearsago。Icamehereamereboy。Ifellinwithabadlot——Ihadplentyofmoney,andIconfessIwentbad。Thatwaseightyearsago。
  ThenImetyourdaughters,andcameintoyourhome。FromthattimeI
  haveneverdoneadishonourablething,mylifehasbeenclean。EversinceItouchedyourdaughter’shandmyhandshavenevertouchedanythingunclean。ThefirstdayIsawher,eightyearsago,Ilovedher,andsincethenIhavebeentrueinheartandinlifetoher。
  FormyshamefulpastGodknowsIhaverepentedbitterly,bitterly,andhavesoughtforgiveness;andnomanlivesinthistown,oranyother,whocanpointtoanythingofwhichIamashamedtospeakhere。"
  PoorBetty!Shelookedfromonetotheotherinafrightenedkindofway,andwhenTheDonhadfinishedhisconfessionshegaveacrythelikeofwhichIneverheard,"Oh,mother,takemeaway!"Ihaveheardofheartsbeingbroken。Ithinkherswasbrokenthen。
  Itellyouwewereallinawhirl。TheDonfellonhiskneesbesideher,takingholdofherskirts。"Oh,Betty,won’tyouforgiveme?
  Godhavemercyonme!Won’tyouforgiveme?IhavedonemanythingsofwhichIamashamed,butIhaveneverbeenuntruetoyouinthoughtorindeed。Never,never,sohelpmeGod!"Heclutchedthehemofherdress,kissingitoverandoveragain。Itwasaghastlysight,Icantellyou。Bettyshrankfromhim,drawingherskirtsaway。"Comeaway,mydaughter,"saidMrs。Fairbanks。"Thereisnothingmoretobesaid。"
  AssheturnedawayupspakelittleHooper。Godblesshim,thelittlefive—footer,everyinchcleargrit。"Mrs。Fairbanks,oneminute。
  PardonmeifIsayaword。Iamthisyoungman’sfriend,andIamyourminister。Ihaveknownthismanforsixyears。Ihaveknownhimintimately。Ibelievehecarriesaclean,pureheart,andhehaslivedahard—working,honourablelife。Ifhehassinned,hehasrepented,andGodhasforgivenhim。Shouldnotyou?"
  Mrs。Fairbanksturnedimpatientlyonhim。"Mr。Hooper,forgivenessisonething,andfriendshipanother。"
  "No,thankGod!"criedthelittlechap。"No,forgivenessisnotonethingandfriendshipanother。Forgivenessmeansfriendship,andwelcome,andlove,withGodandwithman。"Icouldhavehuggedthelittlemanwherehestood。
  ThenMrs。Fairbanksseemedtoloseherhead,andsheblazedoutinaperfectfury。"Doyoumeandeliberatelytosaythatthisman,"
  pointingtoTheDon,whowasstillonhisknees,withhisfaceinhishands,"thatthismanshouldbereceivedintomyhouse?"
  "Mrs。Fairbanks,"saidHooper,"istherenotaplacefortherepentantandabsolved,evenwiththesaintsofGod?"
  Mrs。Fairbankslostherselfcompletely。"Mr。Hooper,"shecried,"thisisoutrageous。Itellyou,forgivenornot,repentantornot;
  neverwillhe,orsuchashe,entermydoorsortouchmydaughter’shand。NeverwhileIlive。"
  ThenHooperdrewhimselfup。Heseemedtomesixfeettall。Heliftedhishand,andspokewiththekindofsolemnitythatyouexpecttocomefromthealtar。"Thenlistentome,Mrs。Fairbanks。
  Yousayyouwouldnotreceivehimorsuchashimintoyourhouse。
  Youinvitemeoftentoyourhome,andhereIconstantlymeetmenwhoareknowninsocietyasrakesandroues。Youknowit,andallsocietywomenknowit,too。Ifyoucaredtotakehalfthetroubleyouhavetakeninthiscase,youcouldfindoutallthefacts。Youareawomanofsociety,andyouknowwellwhatIsayistrue。Ihaveseenyouinthisroomplaceyourdaughterinthearmsofamanyouknewtobeadrunkard,andmusthavesuspectedwasalibertine。
  Thesemenhavetheentreetoeverygoodfamilyinthecity,andthoughtheircharacterisknown,theyarereceivedeverywhere。Theyhavewealthandfamilyconnection。Donotattempttodenyit,Mrs。
  Fairbanks。Iknowsociety,andyouknowitwell。Ifyoustrikeoffthenamesofthosemenwhoselives,nothavebeeninthepast,butareto—dayuncleanandunworthy,youwillhavetomakeaverylargeblankinyourdancinglist。"Thenthelittlefellow’svoicebrokerightdown。"ForgivemeifIhavespokenharshly。Ibeseechyou,hearme。Youaredoingagreatwrongtomyfriend,acruelwrong。I
  pledgeyoumynameandhonourheisagoodman,andheisworthyofyourdaughter。Godhascoveredhissin:whyhaveyoudaredtouncoverit?"Andthen,inthetonethatheusesinreadinghisprayers,hewenton,"InthenameoftheSaviourofthesinfulandlost,Iaskyou,Ientreatyou,receivehim。"
  Youwouldthinkthatwouldhavemeltedtheheartofashe—devil,letaloneawoman,butthatwomanstoodthere,cold,white,andunmoved。
  "Isthatall,Mr。Hooper?"shesaid。"Thenmyansweris——never!Andasforyou,hiseloquentadvocate,Ineverwishtoseeyouagain。
  Come,Betty。"
  AstheybegantomoveoffTheDon,whowasstillonhisknees,lookedupandreachedouthishandstowardthepoorgirlwithacrythatstabbedmyheartthroughandthrough。"Iwantyourforgiveness,Betty,onlyyourforgiveness。"Shepaused,tookasteptowardshim,thenputtingherhandsoverherfaceshestoodstill,shuddering。
  Hermothercaughtheranddrewheraway。
  TheDonroseslowly。Heseemedstupefied。HeturnedtowardHooper,andsaidinahoarsekindofwhisper:"She’sgone!Oh,God,Ihavelosther!"Hefelthiswayouttothehalllikeablindman。Helenputoutherhandtostophim,buthewenton,nevernoticing。Shefollowedhimtothehall,weepingbitterly,andcrying,"Comeback,Don,comeback!"
  Withoutwaitingtogetcoatorhat,herushedout。"Goandgethim,"
  Helencriedtous,andwefollowedhimasfastaswecould。WhenI
  gotouthehadreachedthegate,andwasfumblingatthecatch。
  "Holdon,Don,whereareyougoing?"Icried。"Tohell!tohell!tohell!"Mydearchap,thatcryofhismademebelieveinhell;for,iflostspiritscrywhenthedevilsgetholdofthem,theywillcrylikethat。Itwasthemostunearthly,horriblesoundIhaveeverheard,andmayGodsavemefromhearingthelikeagain。
  NextdayItriedtoseeBetty,butitwasnouse,shewouldseenoone。AndsoonafterIheardshewasill,typhoidfever。Ithadbeenworkingonherforsometime。Therewasalmostnohopefromtheveryfirst。Shebecamedeliriousatonce,andinherravingkeptcallingonTheDonforforgiveness。Yourmotherwasagreathelptothem,relievingthenurse。Theyallseemedtodependuponher。Ofcourse,Iwasinandouteveryday,andbroughtreportstoTheDon,whohauntedourhousedayandnight。Ineversawafellowsufferlikethat。Heslepthardlyany,atenothingatall,butwanderedaboutthetown,spendingmostofhistimeatHooper’swhenhewasnotwithus。
  AfterthedeliriumpassedBettyaskedforme。WhenIsawherlookingsowhiteandthin——youwouldthinkyoucouldseethroughherhands——
  Itellyouitbrokemeallup。Shebeckonedmetoher,andwhenI
  bentoverhershewhispered:"FindTheDonandbringhim。"Atfirsthermotherrefused,sayingheshouldnevercomewithherconsent。Itwasmightyhard,Itellyou。ButtheafternoonofthesamedayHelencameflyingovertotellusthatthedoctorhadsaidtherewasonlyaveryslightchanceforBetty,andthatifhermotherpersistedinherrefusalhewouldnotberesponsiblefortheconsequences,thathermotherhadyielded,andIwastobringTheDon。Itellyou,I
  madetimedowntohisrooms,andbrought,himtothehouse。
  Therewasnooneintheroombutthenurseandthedoctorwhenheentered。Shewasexpectingus,andasweenteredsheopenedhereyesandasked,"Ishehere?"Thenursebeckonedhimtoapproach,andTheDoncameandkneltatherbed。Hewasverysteadyandquiet。Sheputoutherhandanddrewhimtowardher。Shewasthecalmestofusall。
  "Iwantyoutoforgiveme,Don,"shesaid,andhervoicewaswonderfullyclear。Poorchap,hewentalltopiecesforaminuteortwoand,holdingherfingers,kissedthemoverandoveragain。"I
  wantyoutoforgiveme,Don,"shesaidagain。"IthoughtIwasbetterthanGod。"Thepoorfellowcouldonlykeepkissingherfingers。"Mylips,Don,mylips,"andTheDonkissedheronthelipstwice,murmuringinabrokenvoice,"Mydarling,mylove,mylove。"
  Thenshelookedupandsmiledthatoldsmileofhers——youremember,sobrightandsomerry?ByJove,itbrokemeallup。Andshesaid:
  "Nowweareallright,aren’twe?"ThedoctorcameandtouchedTheDon。"No,doctor,"shesaid,"Iamquitequiet。See,Iamgoingtosleep。Iwantyoutostaythere,Don。Good—night。"
  Mrs。FairbanksandHelencamein。HelengaveTheDonherhand,butMrs。Fairbankspaidnoattentiontohim。Bettyopenedhereyes,sawhermotherandsmiled。"Dearmother,"shesaid,"see,there’sDon。"
  Mrs。Fairbankshesitatedslightly,thenreachedoutherhandacrossthebed。"Thankyou,dearmother,"Bettysaid。"Youmustbegoodtohim。"Thenafteralittlewhileshesaiddreamily,likeatiredchild:"Godforgivesusall,andwemustforgive。"ShelethereyesrestonTheDon’sface。"Good—night,Don,dear,"shesaid,"Iamgoingtosleep。"
  Thatwasherlastword,Shock。Justthinkofit——Betty’slastword。
  Icannotrealiseitatall。Iwishmystoryendedthere,butitdoesnot。Foratimewesatthere,thedoctorhopingthataturnforthebetterhadcome,butinaboutanhourthenursenoticedachange,andcalledhim。Hecamequickly,feltherpulse,injectedsomethingorotherintoherarm。Sheopenedhereyes。Yourememberhowshewouldopenthoselovelybrowneyesofherswhenanythingsurprisedher。Well,sheopenedthemjustthatway,smiledbrightlyononeandthenanother,lethereyesrestonTheDon,gavealittlesighandclosedthem,andtheyneveropenedagain。"Sheisgone,"thedoctorsaid,andweallcrowdednear。"Yes,sheisgone,"hesaidagain。
  ThenTheDonstoodup,andputtingouthishandtoMrs。Fairbanks,said:"Mrs。Fairbanks,Iwanttothankyouforallowingmetocome。"
  Butshedrewherselfawayfromhim,refusingtotouchhishand,andmotioninghimoff。
  Poorchap!Heturnedbacktothebed,kneeleddown,touchedthesoftbrownhairwithhishands,kissedthefingersagain,andthenwithoutawordwentout。Ifanyonecantellmewhatthatwoman’sheartismadeof,Iwouldliketoknow。
  ThedayofthefuneralTheDonbroughtmealittlebunchofliliesofthevalley,saying,"Itisforher"IgavethemtoHelen,andI
  sawthemafterwardsinthehandsthatlayfoldedacrossherbreast。
  Ihavenotseenhimsince,butHoopertellsmehesaidhewasgoingouttoyou。IhopetoHeavenhewillnotgobad。Idon’tthinkhewill。Ofcourse,hefeelsverybitterlyaboutLloydandMrs。
  Fairbanks。
  Now,thatisallmystory。Itmakesagreatdifferencetoalloursethere,butIwilltellyouwhatIhavetoldnolivingsoul,andthatis,thattheworldwillneverbethesametomeagain。Iamnotmuchgiventosentiment,asyouknow,andnobodyeversuspectedit。
  Idonotthinkshedidherself。ButIlovedthatlittlegirlbetterthanmylife,andIwouldhavegivenmysoulforheranyday。
  Iknowyouwillfeelthisterribly。HowoftenIhavewishedthatyoucouldhavebeenwithus。ThebestIcoulddowastosendyouthiswretched,incoherentscrawl。Yourfriendasever,BROWN。
  P。S。——DoyouknowanythingabouttheBritish—AmericanGoldandSilverMiningCompany,orsomethinglikethat?Thereisachaphere,managerordirector,orsomething。Ambherg,Ithinkhisnameis。Hespeaksasifheknewyou,orknewsomethingaboutyou。HeisagreatfriendoftheFairbanks。Lotsofmoney,andthatsortofthing。I
  didnotlikethewayhespokeaboutyou。Ifeltlikegivinghimasmack。Doyouknowhim,oranythingaboutthecompany?
  YourmotherhasnotbeenverywellsinceBetty’sdeath。Ithinkshefoundthestrainprettyheavy。Shehascaughtalittlecold,Iamafraid。B。
  Brown’sletterdidforShockwhatnothingelsecouldhavedone:itturnedhismindawayfromhimselfandhissorrow。Notthathewasinanydangerofmorbidbroodingoverhisloss,oroffallingintothatlastandmostdeplorableofallhumanweaknesses,self—pity,butgriefturnstheheartinuponitself,andtendstomarthefinebloomofanunselfishspirit。
  AshefinishedreadingBrown’sletterShock’sheartwasfilledwithloveandpityforhisfriend。"Poorfellow!"hesaid。"Iwonderwhereheisnow。Hisisahardlotindeed。"Andashereadtheletteroverandoverhispityforhisfrienddeepened,forherealisedthatinhiscupofsorrowtherehadmingledthegallofremorseandthebitternessofhate。
  Inanotherweektwootherletterscame,eachprofoundlyaffectingShockandhislife。OnewasfromHelen,givingafullaccountofhismother’sillnessanddeath,tellinghowbeautifullytheSuperintendenthadtakenpartinthefuneralservice,andpreservingforhersonthoselastpreciousmessagesofloveandgratitude,offaithandhope,whichbecometheimmortaltreasuresofthebereavedheart。AshereadHelen’sletterShockcaughtaglimpseofthegloryofthatdeparting。Heavencameabouthim,andtheeternalthings,thatbyreasonofthenearnessofthematerialworldtoooftenbecomeshadowy,tookonarealitythatneverquitelefthim。Wherehismotherwashenceforthrealthingsmustbe。
  TheletterclosedwithafewprecioussentencesofloveandsympathyfromHelen,butintheseShock,readingwithhisheartinhiseyes,andlongingformorethanhecouldrightlyfindinthem,thoughthecoulddetectakindofreserve,areservewhichhecouldnotinterpret,andhelaiddowntheletterwithpainfuluncertainty。Washerlovemorethanshecaredtotell,orwasitlessthansheknewhewoulddesire?
  FromHelen’sletterShockturnedtoMrs。Fairbanks’andread:
  MyDearMr。Macgregor:
  Wealldeeplysympathisewithyouinyourgreatloss,asIknowyouwillwithusinourgrief。Wecanhardlyspeakofityet。Itissonewandsoterriblysuddenthatwehavenotbeenablefullytorealiseit。MygreatcomfortinthisterriblesorrowismydaughterHelen。Mr。Lloyd,too,hasprovedhimselfatruefriend。Indeed,I
  donotknowwhatweshouldhavedonewithouthim。Wearemoreandmorecomingtoleanuponhim。YouwillnothaveheardyetthatwehavebeensogreatlyattractedbyMr。Lloyd’spreaching,andinfluencedbyourregardforhimpersonally,thatwehavetakensittingsintheParkChurch。
  Helen,Iamgladtosay,isbeginningtotakeaninterestinthechurchanditswork,andastimegoesonIthinkherinterestwillgrow。Ishouldbegladindeedthatitshouldbeso,forourrelationswithMr。Lloydareveryclose;and,infact,Imaytellyouwhatisyetasecret,thathehasintimatedtomehisdesiretomakeHelenhiswife。Helenisveryfavourablydisposedtohim,andallourcircleoffriendswouldrejoiceinthisasanidealmarriage。Mr。Lloydbelongstoherownsetinsociety,isagentlemanofcultureandhighcharacter,andineverywaysuitable。
  Asformyself,inmylonelinessIcouldnotendurethethoughtoflosingmyonlydaughter,atall,andhermarriagewouldbeagreatblowtomewereitnotthatherhomeistobesocloseathand。
  Thereisonething,however,aboutwhichHelenissensitive。Shecannotridherselfofafeelingthatsheisinamannerboundtoyouonaccountofherfoolishandimpetuouswords,utteredundertheexcitementofyourdeparture;butIamsureyouwouldneverthinkofholdingherbecauseofthosewords,utteredinamomentofgreatfeeling,andIalsofeelsurethatyouwouldnotinanywayinterferewithherhappiness,ordoanythingthatwouldhindertheconsummationofamarriagesoeminentlysuitableineveryway。
  Wehearofyouandofyourworkoccasionally。Itmustbeaterriblecountry,andaverydepressinglife。Thelonelinessandisolationmustbewell—nighoverwhelming。Iamsureyouhavealloursympathy。
  Isupposeworkofthiskindmustbedone,anditisagoodthingthattherearemenofsuchruggedstrengthandsuchcourageasyouhave,whoseemtobefittedforthiskindofwork。
  Now,mydearMr。Macgregor,inyouranswerIthinkthatafewwordsofassurancetoHelenonthepointsIhavesuggestedwouldbegreatlyappreciated,andwoulddomuchtoremovedifficultiesthatnowstandinthewayofherhappinessandmine。
  Yoursverysincerely,E。Fairbanks。
  ItwasthenthatShockdranktothedregshisfullcupofbittersorrow。ThecontrastssuggestedbyMrs。Fairbanks’letterstoodoutvividlybeforehim。HethoughtofHelen’sbeautifulhome,whereshewassurroundedwithalltheluxuriesofaculturedlife;hethoughtofhercircleoffriends,ofthelifeworktowhich,asLloyd’swife,shewouldbepermittedtotakeup;hethought,too,ofhermother’sclaimuponher。Andthenhelookedaboutuponhisbareroom,withitslogwalls,itsutterabsenceofeverythingthatsuggestedrefinement;hethoughtoftheterribleisolationthatinthesedayshadbecomesodepressingeventohimself;hethoughtofallthelonghoursofwearyyearningforthesightandtouchofallthathehelddear,andforthesakeofthegirltowhomhehadgivenhisheart’sloveinallitsunsulliedpurityandinallitsvirginfreshnesshemadehisdecision。Hetookuphiscross,andthoughhisheartbledhepressedhislipsuponit。