Thesewild,independentmenoftheWestwerenotatalllikethedegradedmenoftheward,fawningorsullen,whohadbeenhisformerandonlyparishioners。Ahorriblefearhadbeengrowinguponhimeversincehisfailure,asheconsideredit,withtheConvener’scongregationthenightbefore。IthelpedhimnotatalltorememberthekindlywordsofencouragementspokenbytheConvener,northesympathythatshowedinhiswife’svoiceandmanner。"Theyfeltsorryforme,"hegroanedaloud。Hesethisjawshard,asmenhadseenhimwhengoingintoascrimonthefootballfield。"I’lldomybestwhatever,"hesaidaloud,lookingbeforehimatthewavinghorizon;"amancanonlyfail。ButsurelyIcanhelpsomepoorchapoutyonder。"Hiseyesfollowedthewavingfoot—hilllinetilltheyrestedonthemightymassesoftheRockies。"Ay,"hesaidwithastart,droppingintohismother’sspeech,"theretheyare,’thehillsfromwhencecomethmyhelp。’Surely,IdonotthinkHewouldsendmeoutheretofail。"
Theretheylay,thatmightywrinklingofMotherEarth’soldface,huge,jaggedmassesofbaregreyrock,patchedhereandthere,andfinallycappedwithwhitewheretheypiercedtheblue。Uptotheirbaseranthelumberingfoot—hills,andstillfurtherupthegreysides,likeattackingcolumns,thedarkdaringpinesswarmedinmassedbattalions;then,whereravinesgavethemfooting,inregiments,theninoutpostpickets,andlastofallinlonelyrigidsentinels。Butfarabovetheloneliestsentinelpine,cold,white,serene,shonethepeaks。TheHighlandbloodinShock’sveinsstirredtothecallofthehills。Glancingaroundtomakesurehewasquitealone——hehadalmostneverbeenwherehecouldbequitesurethathewouldnotbeheard——Shockraisedhisvoiceinashout,again,and,expandinghislungstothefull,onceagain。Howsmallhisvoiceseemed,howpunyhisstrength,howbriefhislife,inthepresenceofthosesilent,mighty,ancientrangeswiththeirhoaryfacesandsnowyheads。Awedbytheirsolemnsilence,andbythethoughtoftheirancient,eternal,unchangingendurance,herepeatedtohimselfinalowtonethewordsoftheancientPsalm:
"Lord,Thouhastbeenourdwelling—place,Ingenerationsall,BeforeThoueverhadstbroughtforthThemountains,greatorsmall!"
Howexaltingarethemountainsandhowhumbling!Howlonelyandhowcomforting!Howawesomeandhowkindly!Howrelentlessandhowsympathetic!Reflectingeverymoodofman,theyaddsomewhattohisnoblerstatureanddiminishsomewhathisignoblerself。Toalltrueappealtheygivebackanswer,buttotheheartregardinginiquity,likeGod,theymakenoresponse。Theyneverobtrudethemselves,buttheysmileuponhisjoys,andinhissorrowoffersilentsympathy,andeverasGod’smessengerstheybidhimrememberthatwithalltheirmassmanismightierthanthey,thatwhentheslowmarchofthepinesshallhavetroddowntheirmight’sdust,stillwiththedewofeternalyouthfreshuponhisbrowwillhebewithGod。
ThenandthereinShock’shearttheresprangupakindlyfeelingforthemountainsthatthroughallhisvaryingexperiencesneverlefthim。Theywerealwaysthere,steadfastlywatchfulbydayliketheeyeofGod,andatnightwhilehesleptkeepingunslumberingguardlikeJehovahhimself。Alldayashedroveuptheinterminableslopesanddownagain,themountainskeptcompanywithhim,asfriendsmight。Somuchsothathecaughthimself,morethanonceaftermomentsofabsorption,glancingupatthemwithhastypenitence。Hehadforgottenthem,butunoffendedtheyhadbeenwatchingandwaitingforhim。
AlittleafternoonShockfoundthetrailturnintowardalong,log,low—roofedbuilding,whichseemedtohavebeenerectedinsections,withanirregulargroupofsod—roofedout—housesclusteringabout。
Anoldmanloungedagainstthejamboftheopendoor。
"Goodday,"saidShockpolitely。
Theoldmanlookedhimoverforamomentortwoandthenansweredasifmakingaconcessionofsomeimportance,"Goodday,goodday!Fromtown?Wanttoeat?"
Aglancethroughthedoor,showingtheremainsofdinneronatable,determinedShock。"No,IguessI’llpushon。"
"Allright,"saidtheoldman,histonesuggestingthatwhileitwasamatterofsupremeindifferencetohim,toShockitmightbeasomewhatseriousconcerntoneglecttoeatinhishouse。
"ThisisSpruceCreek?"enquiredShock。
"Yes,Ibelievethat’swhattheycallit,"saidtheoldmanwithslowdeliberation,addingafterafewmomentssilence"becausethereain’tnospruceshere。"
Shockgavetheexpectedlaughwithsuchheartinessthattheoldmandeignedtotakesomelittleinterestinhim。
"Cattle?"heenquired。
"No。"
"Sport?"
"Well,alittle,perhaps。"
"Oh!Pospectin’,eh?Well,land’sprettywelltakenupinthisvicinity,Iguess。"
Tothisoldmantherewerenootherinterestsinlifebeyondcattle,sport,andprospctingthatcouldaccountforthestranger’spresenceinthisregion。
"Yes,"laughedShock,"prospectinginawaystoo。"
Theoldmanwasobviouslypuzzled。
"Well,"heventured,"comeinside,anyway。PrettychillywindthatforApril。Comerightin!"
Shocksteppedin。Theoldmandrewnearertohim。
"Pain—killerorlime—juice?"heenquiredinaninsinuatingvoice。
"What?"saidShock。
"Pain—killerorlime—juice,"winkingandloweringhisvoicetoaconfidentialtone。
"Well,asIhaven’tgotanypainIguessI’lltakealittlelime—
juice,"repliedShock。
Theoldmangavehimanotherwink,longandslow,wenttothecorneroftheroom,pushedbackatable,pulledupaboardfromthefloor,andextractedabottle。
"You’sgottobemightycareful,"hesaid。"Themblankpolicefellers,insteadofattendingtotheirbusiness,noseroundtillafellercan’ttakenorestatnight。"
Hewenttoashelfthatstoodbehindtheplankthatdidforacounter,tookdowntwoglasses,andfilledthemup。
"There,"hesaidwithgreatsatisfaction,"you’llfindthat’snoback—yardbrew。"
Shockslowlyliftedtheglassandsmeltit。"Why,it’swhisky!"hesaidinasurprisedtone。
"Ha!ha!"burstouttheoldman。"You’readandy;that’swhatitisathome。"
Hewasdelightedwithhisguest’sfinetouchofhumour。Shockhesitatedamomentortwo,lookingdownatthewhiskyintheglassbeforehim。
"Howmuch?"hesaidatlength。
"Oh,we’llmakethatfiftycentstoyou,"saidtheoldmancarelessly。
Shockputdownthemoney,liftedhisglassslowly,carriedittothedoorandthrewthecontentsoutside。
"Holdonthere!Whattheblank,blankdoyoumean?"Theoldmanwasoverthecounterwithabound。
"Itwasmine,"saidShockquietly。
"Yours,"shoutedtheoldman,besidehimselfwithrage;"Iaintgoin’tostandnosuchinsultasthat。"
"Insult!"
"What’sthematterwiththatwhisky?"
"AllrightasfarasIknow,butIwantedlime—juice。"
"Lime—juice!"Theoldman’samazementsomewhatsubduedhisanger。
"Lime—juice!Well,I’llbeblanked!"
"That’swhatIaskedfor,"repliedShockgood—naturedly。
"Lime—juice!"repeatedtheoldman。"Butwhatinblank,blankdidyouthrowitoutfor?"
"Why,whatelsecouldIdowithit?"
"Whatelse?Seehere,stranger,thehullpopulationofthisentirevicinityisn’tmorethantwenty—fivepersons,buteverylastoneof’emtwenty—five’udtoldyouwhattodowithit。Whydidn’tyougiveittome?"
"Why,"saidShockinasurprisedtone,"Idon’tknowthewaysofyourcountry,butwhereIcomefromwedon’ttakeanyman’sleavings。"
Thiswasnewlightuponthesubjectfortheoldman。
"Well,now,seehere,youngman,ifeveryou’reindoubtagainaboutaglassofwhiskylikethatonethere,youjustremarktoyourselfthatwhiletheremaybeafewthingsyoumightdowithit,there’sjustoneyoucan’t。There’sonlyonespotforwhisky,andthat’sinsidesomefellowthatknowssomething。Heavensandearth!Didn’tknowwhattodowithit,eh?"
HepeeredcuriouslyintoShock’sfaceasifhefoundhimaninterestingstudy。
"No,"saidShockseriously,"yousee,Icouldn’tdrinkit——neverdidinmylife。"
Theoldmandrewnearertohim。"Say,"touchinghimwithhisforefingeronthechest,"ifIcouldonlybesureyou’dkeepfreshI’dputyouinacase。They’dcomeamightylongwayinthiscountrytoseeyou,youbet。"
BillLee’sangeranddisgustweregivingplacetocuriosity。
"Whatareyou,anyway?"heenquired。
"Well,mybosstoldmeto—dayIwasaprospector。"Shock’smindreverted,ashespoke,tothatlastconversationwithhisConvener。
"Prospector,"echoedtheoldman。"Whatfor,land,coal?"
"No,men。"
"What?"Theoldmanlookedasifhecouldnothaveheardaright。
"Men,"saidShockagainsimplyandearnestly。
Billwashopelesslypuzzled。Hetriedtogetatitanotherway。
"What’syourCompany?"heenquired。"Imeanwhoareyouworkingfor?"
BeforeansweringShockpaused,lookingfarpastBilldownthetrailandthensaidsolemnly,"God。"
Billstartedbackfromhiscompanionwithagaspofsurprise。Wasthemanmad?Puttingtheincidentofthewhiskyandthisanswerofhistogether,hemightwellbe。
"Yes,"saidShock,withdrawinghiseyesfromthetrailandfacingBillsquarely。"That’smybusiness。Iamaftermen。"HedrewfromhispocketasmallBibleandread,"FollowmeandIwillmakeyoufishersofmen。"
WhenBillsawtheBiblehelookedrelieved,butratherdisgusted。
"Oh,Igityounow!You’reapreacher,eh?"
"Well,"saidShockinatonealmostconfidential,"I’lltellyouI’mnotmuchofapreacher。Idon’tthinkI’mcutoutforthat,somehow。"HereBillbrightenedslightly。"Itriedlastnightintown,"continuedShock,"anditwasprettybad。Idon’tknowwhohadtheworstofit,thecongregationormyself。Butitwasbad。"
"Thinkin’ofquittin’?"Billaskedalmosteagerly,"Becauseifyouare,Iknowagoodjobforafellowofyourbuildandmake。"
"No,Ican’tquit。Ihavegottogoon。"Bill’sfacefell。"AndperhapsIcanmakeupinsomeotherways。Imaybeabletohelpsomefellowsabit。"ThesincerityandhumbleearnestnessofShock’stonequitesoftenedBill’sheart。
"Well,there’slotsof’emneedit,"hesaidinhisgruffvoice。
"There’stheblankestlotoffoolsontheseranchesyoueverseen。"
Shockbecamealert。Hewasonthetrackofbusiness。
"What’swrongwiththem?"heenquired。
"Wrong?Why,theyaintgotnosense。Theystockupwithcattle,horses,andoutfittobeatcreation,andthenletthewholethinggotoblazes。"
"What’sthematterwiththem?"persistedShock,"Aretheylazy?"
"Lazy!notahair。Butwhentheygettogetheroverabarrelofbeerorakegofwhiskytheyarelikealotofhogsinaswilltrough,andtheywon’tquitwhiletheykinstand。That’snowayforamantodrink!"continuedBillindeepdisgust。
"Why,isnotthisaProhibitioncountry?"
"Oh!Prohibitionbeblanked!Whenanymankingetapermitforallhewantstouse,besidesallthatthewhiskymenbringin,what’sthegoodofProhibition?"
"Isee,"saidShock。"Poorchaps。Itmustbeprettyslowforthemhere。"
"Slow!"exclaimedBill。"Thataintnoreasonforaman’sbein’afool。Iaintnosaint,butIknowwhentoquit。"
"Well,you’relucky,"saidShock。"BecauseIhaveseenlotsofmenthatdon’t,andthey’rethefellowsthatneedalittlehelp,don’tyouthinkso?"
Billsquirmedalittleuneasily。
"Youcan’tkeepaneyeonallthefoolsunlessyouround’emupincorral,"hegrunted。
"No。Butamancankeepfromthinkingmoreofalittleticklinginhisstomachthanhedoesofthelifeofhisfellowman。"
"Well,whatIsayis,"repliedBill,"everyfellow’sgottolookafterhimself。"
"Yes,"agreedShock,"andalittleaftertheotherfellows,too。Ifamanissick——"
"Oh!nowyou’respeakin’,"interruptedBilleagerly。"Why,certainly。"
"Orifheisnotverystrong。"
"Why,ofcourse。"
"Now,don’tyouthink,"saidShockveryearnestly,"thatkickingamanalongthatisalreadyslidingtowardaprecipiceisprettymeanbusiness,butsnatchinghimbackandbracinghimupisworthaman’swhile?"
"Well,Iguess,"saidBillquietly。
"That’sthebusinessI’mtryingtodo,"saidShock。"I’dhatetohelpamandownwhoisalreadyontheincline。IthinkI’dfeelmean,andifIcanhelponemanbacktowhereit’ssafe,Ithinkit’sworthwhile,don’tyou?"
Billappeareduncomfortable。Hecouldnotgetangry,Shock’smannerwassoearnest,frank,respectful,andsincere,andatthesametimehewassharpenoughtoseethebearingofShock’sremarksuponwhatwasatleastapartofhisbusinessinlife。
"Yes,"repeatedShockwithenthusiasm,"that’sworthwhile。Now,lookhere,ifyousawamanslidingdownoneofthoserocksthere,"
pointingtothegreatmountainsinthedistance,"tosuredeath,wouldyoulethimslide,orwouldyouputyourhandouttohelphim?"
"Well,IbelieveI’dtry,"saidBillslowly。
"Butiftherewasgoodmoneyinitforyou,"continuedShock,"youwouldsendhimalong,eh?"
"Say,stranger,"criedBillindignantly,"whatdoyouthinkIam?"
"Well,"saidShock,"there’salotofmenslidingdownfastabouthere,yousay。Whatareyoudoingaboutit?"Shock’svoicewasquiet,solemn,almoststern。
"Isay,"saidBill,"you’dbestputupyourhorseandfeed。Yes,you’vegottofeed,bothofyou,andthisisthebestplaceyou’llfindfortwentymilesround,socomerighton。You’relineaintmine,butyou’rewhite。Isay,though,"continuedBill,unhitchingthecayuse,"it’sapityyou’vetakenupthatpreachin’business。
I’venotmuchuseforthat。Now,withthattherebuildofyours"——
BillwasevidentlyimpressedwithShock’sform——"you’dbefitforalmostanything。"
Shocksmiledandthengrewserious。
"No,"hesaid,"I’vegottoliveonlyonce,andnothingelseseemedgoodenoughforafellow’slife。"
"What,preachin’?"
"No。Stoppingmenfromslidingovertheprecipiceandhelpingthemback。Thefactis,"and,Shocklookedoverthecayuse’sbackintoBill’seyes,"everymanshouldtakeahandatthat。There’salotofsatisfactioninit。"
"Well,stranger,"repliedBill,leadingthewaytothestable,"I
guessyou’reprettynearright,thoughit’squeertohearmesayit。
Thereaintmuchinanything,anyway。Whenyourhorseisawayatthefrontleadin’thebunchandeverybodyyellin’foryou,you’rehappy,butwhensomeotherfellow’shorsemakestherunnin’andthecrowdgetsa—yellin’forhim,thenyou’resick。Prettysoonyougitsoyoudon’tcare。"
"’Vanityofvanities,allisvanity,’"quotedShock。"Solomonsaysyou’reright。"
"Solomon,eh?Well,byallaccountshehitquiteagait,too。Hadthemalllookin’dizzy,Ireckon。Comeonin。I’llhavedinnerinashake。"
Friedporkandflapjacks,donebrowninthegravy,withblackmolassespouredoverall,andblackteastrongenoughtofloataman—of—war,allthiswithacondimentoftwentymilesoffoot—hillbreezes,makesadinnersuchasnokingeverenjoyed。Shock’sdelightinhiseatingwassoobviousthatBill’sheartwarmedtowardshim。Nofinercomplimentcanbepaidacookthantoeatfreelyandwithrelishofhiscooking。Beforethemealwasoverthemenhadsofarbrokenthroughthebarriersofreserveastoventuremutualconfidencesaboutthepast。AfterShockhadtoldtheuneventfulstoryofhislife,inwhichhismother,ofcourse,wasthecentralfigure,Billsatafewmomentsinsilence,andthenbegan:"Well,Ineverknewmymother。Myfatherwasadevil,soI
guessIcamenaturallybyallthedevilmentinme,andthat’safew。
But"——andhereBillpausedforsomelittletime——"butIhadasweetheartonce,overfortyyearsagonow,downinKansas,andshewasallright,youbet。Why,sir,shewas——oh!well,’taintnousetalkin’,butIwenttochurchfortheyearIknowedhermore’nalltherestofmylifeputtogether,andwasshapin’outforadifferentlineofconductuntil——"Shockwaitedinsilence。"AftershediedIdidn’tseemtocare。IwentouttoCalifornia,knockedabout,andthentothedevilgenerally。"Shock’seyesbegantoshine。
"Iknow,"hesaid,"youhadnooneelsetolookafter——tothinkof。"
"NonethatIcaredablankfor。Begpardon。SoIdriftedround,dugforgoldalittle,ranchedalittle,Justlikenow,gambledalittle,soldwhiskyalittle,nothingverymuch。Didn’tseemtocaremuch,anddon’tyet。"
Shocksatwaitingforhimtocontinue,buthardlyknewwhattosay。
Hisheartwasoverflowingwithpityforthislonelyoldmanwhoselifelayinthepast,greyandcolourless,exceptforthatsinglebrightspotwherelovehadmadeitsmark。Suddenlyhestretchedouthishandtowardtheoldman,andsaid:"Whatyouwantisafriend,arealgoodfriend。"
Theoldmantookhishandinaquick,fiercegrip,hishard,witheredfacelitupwithasoft,warmlight。
"Stranger,"hesaid,tryinghardtokeephisvoicesteady,"I’dgiveallIhaveforone。"
"Letmetellyouaboutmine,"saidShockquickly。
Halfanhourlater,asBillstoodlookingafterShockandrubbinghisfingers,hesaidinsoliloquy:"Well,IguessI’mgittin’old。
Whatinthunderhasgotintome,anyway?How’dhegitmeontothatline?Say,whatabuncosteererhe’dmake!Andwiththatfaceandthemeyesofhis!No,’taintthat。It’shisblankhonesttalk。HangifIknowwhatitis,buthe’sgotit!He’swhite,Iswear!Butblankhim!hemakesafellowfeellikeathief。"
Billwentbacktohislonelyranchwithhislonelymiserablelife,unconsciouslytryingtoanalysehisnewemotions,someofwhichhewouldbegladtoescape,andsomehewouldbeloathtolose。Hestoodathisdooramoment,lookinginuponthecheerlessjumbleofboxesandfurniture,andthenturning,hegazedacrossthesunnyslopestowherehecouldseehisbunchofcattlefeeding,andwithasighthatcamefromthedeepestspotinhisheart,hesaid:"Yes,I
guesshe’sright。It’safriendIneed。That’swhat。"
VII
THEOUTPOST
UponaslightswellofprairiestoodtheOutpostmanseofBigRiver,thesoleandonlybuildinginthecountryrepresentativeofthegreatChurchwhichlaybehindit,andwhich,underablestatesmanship,wasseekingtoholdthenewWestforthingshighandgood。TheBigRiverpeoplewereproudoftheirmanse。Theministerwasproudofit,andwithreason。Itstoodforcourage,faith,andself—denial。TotheConvenerandSuperintendent,intheirhoursofdiscouragement,thislittlebuildingbroughtcheerandhope。For,whileitstoodthereitkepttouchbetweenthatnewcountryandwhatwasbestandmostcharteristicinCanadiancivilisation,anditwasforthisthattheywroughtandprayed。But,thoughtopeopleandminister,ConvenerandSuperintendent,thelittlemansemeantsomuch,thebareness,theunloveliness,and,morethanall,theutterlonelinessofitsmoteShockwithasenseofdepression。Atfirsthecouldnotexplaintohimselfthisfeeling。ItwasonlyafterhehadconsciouslyrecognisedthepicturewhichhadrisenincontrastbeforehismindasthehomeoftheFairbanks,thatheunderstood。
"Icouldneverbringhertosuchahouseasthis,"washisthought。
"Awomanwoulddiehere。"
And,indeed,therewasmuchtodepressinthefirstlookatthelittleboardbuildingthatmadeahomefortheMcIntyres,setdownonthetreelessprairiewithonlyalittlewoodenpalingtodefenditfromthewastethatgapedatitfromeveryside。ThecontrastbetweenthisbarespeckofhumanhabitationandthecosyhomesofhisnativeProvince,seteachwithinitsshelteringnestoforchardandgarden,couldhardly,havebeenmorecomplete。Butashiseyesrandowntheslopeoftheprairieandupoverthehillstothejaggedlineofpeaksatthehorizon,hewasconsciousofaswiftchangeoffeeling。Themightyhillsspoketohisheart。
"Yes,evenhereonemightlivecontented,"hesaidaloud,andhefoundhimselfpicturinghowthelightfromthosegreatpeakswouldilluminethefacethathadgrownsodearwithinthelastfewmonths。
"Andmymotherwouldlikeittoo,"hesaid,speakingoncemorealoud。Sowithbetterheartheturnedfromthetrailtothelittlemansedoor。Themomenthepassedwithinthedoorallsenseofdepressionwasgone。OutoftheirbarelittlewoodenhousetheMcIntyreshadmadeahome,aplaceofcomfortandofrest。True,thewallswerewithoutplaster,brownpaperwithfactorycottontackedoverittakingitsplace,buttheywerewind—proof,andbesidesweremostconvenientforhangingthingson。Thefurniturethoughchieflyinterestingasanillustrationoftheevolutionofthepackingbox,wasnonethelessserviceableandcomfortable。Thefloorswereasyetuncarpeted,butnowthatAprilwascomethecarpetswerehardlymissed。Then,too,thefewchoicepicturesuponthewalls,theingeniousbookcaseandthemoreingeniousplateandcup—rackdisplayinghonestdelfandsomebitsofchoicechina,thedrapingcurtainsofmuslinandcretonne,allspokeofcultivatedmindsandrefinedtastes。Staringwantstherewere,andmanydiscrepanciesandincongruities,butnovulgaritiesnorcoarsenessnortawdriness。
Whattheyhadwasfitting。Whatwasfittingbutbeyondtheirmeansthesebravehome—makersdidwithout,andallthingsunfitting,howevercheap,theyscorned。AndShock,thoughheknewnothingofthegenesisandevolutionofthishomeanditsfurnishings,wassensibleofitsatmosphereofquietcomfortandrefinement。ThewelcomeoftheMcIntyreswasradiantwithgoodcheerandheartyhospitality。
Itwaspartlythesea—roverinhisblood,makingimpossiblethefamiliarpathstroddenbareofanyexperiencethatcouldstirtheheartorthrilltheimagination,butmorethathighambitionthatdwellsinnobleyouth,makingitresponsivetothecallofdutywheredutyisdifficultanddangerous,thatsentDavidMcIntyreoutfromhisquietcountryhomeinNovaScotiatothefarWest。A
brilliantcourseinPictouAcademy,thatnursingmotherofgeniusforthatProvincebythesea,astillmorebrilliantcourseinDalhousie,andafterwardsinPineHill,promisedyoungMcIntyreanythinghemightdesireinthewayofscholasticdistinction。Theremonstranceofoneofhisprofessors,whenhelearnedoftheintentionofhisbrilliantandmostpromisingstudenttogivehislifetoWesternmissionwork,wascharacteristicoftheattitudeofalmostthewholeCanadianChurchofthatday。
"Oh,Mr。McIntyre!"saidtheProfessor,"thereisnoneedforsuchamanasyoutogototheWest。"
EquallycharacteristicofthemanwasMcIntyre’sreply。
"But,Professor,someonemustgo;andbesidesthatseemstomegreatwork,andI’dliketohaveahandinit。"
Itwasthenecessity,thedifficulty,andthepromiseoftheworkthatsummonedyoungMcIntyrefromalltheopenings,vacancies,positions,andappointmentshisfriendsweresoeagerlywavingbeforehiseyesandsethimamongthefoot—hillsinthefarfrontasthefirstsettledministerofBigRiver,theprideofhisConvener’sheart,thefriendandshepherdofthescatteredfarmersandranchersofthedistrict。Onceonlydidhecomeneartoregrettinghischoice,andthennotforhisownsake,butforthesakeoftheyounggirlwhomhehadlearnedtoloveandwhoselovehehadgainedduringhisstudentdays。Wouldsheleavehomeandfriendsandthesocialcircleofwhichshewasthebrightestornamentforallthathecouldoffer?Hehadoftenwrittentoher,picturingintheradiantcoloursofhisownWesternskythegloryofprairie,foot—hill,andmountain,thegreatnessandpromiseofthenewland,andtheworthoftheworkhewastryingtodo。Buthistwoyearsofmissionaryexperiencehadmadehimfeelthehardship,theisolation,themeagreness,ofthelifewhichshewouldhavetosharewithhim。Thesunsetcolourswerestillthere,buttheywerelaiduponraggedrock,lonelyhill,andwind—swept,emptyprairie。Ittookhimdaysofhardridingandharderthinkingtogivefinalformtothelastparagraphofhisletter:
"Ihavetriedfaithfullytopicturemylifeandwork。Canyoubraveallthis?ShouldIaskyoutodoit?Mywork,Ifeel,lieshere,andit’sworthaman’slife。Butwhetheryouwillshareit,itisforyoutodecide。Ifyoufeelyoucannot,believeme,Ishallnotblameyou,butshallloveandhonouryouasbefore。ButthoughitbreakmyheartIcannotgobackfromwhatIseetobemywork。Ibelongtoyou,butfirstIbelongtoHimwhoisbothyourMasterandmine。"