HeleftBertonhiswall，graveandpensive，withhiscaponthebackofhishead，andacigarettesmoulderinginthecornerofhismouth。
　　"Ifwhathesaysistrue，"saidBert，"meandGrubb，webeenwastingourblessedoldtime。Besidesincurringexpensewiththetgreen—’ouse。"
　　5
　　ItwaswhilethismysterioustalkwiththesoldierstillstirredinBertSmallways’imaginationthatthemostastoundingincidentinthewholeofthatdramaticchapterofhumanhistory，thecomingofflying，occurred。Peopletalkgliblyenoughofepoch—makingevents;thiswasanepoch—makingevent。ItwastheunanticipatedandentirelysuccessfulflightofMr。AlfredButteridgefromtheCrystalPalacetoGlasgowandbackinasmallbusinesslike—lookingmachineheavierthanair——anentirelymanageableandcontrollablemachinethatcouldflyaswellasapigeon。
　　Itwasn’t，onefelt，afreshstepforwardinthemattersomuchasagiantstride，aleap。Mr。Butteridgeremainedintheairaltogetherforaboutninehours，andduringthattimeheflewwiththeeaseandassuranceofabird。Hismachinewas，howeverneitherbird—likenorbutterfly—like，norhaditthewide，lateralexpansionoftheordinaryaeroplane。Theeffectupontheobserverwasrathersomethinginthenatureofabeeorwasp。
　　Partsoftheapparatuswerespinningveryrapidly，andgaveoneahazyeffectoftransparentwings;butparts，includingtwopeculiarlycurved"wing—cases"——ifonemayborrowafigurefromtheflyingbeetles——remainedexpandedstiffly。Inthemiddlewasalongroundedbodylikethebodyofamoth，andonthisMr。
　　Butteridgecouldbeseensittingastride，muchasamanbestridesahorse。Thewasp—likeresemblancewasincreasedbythefactthattheapparatusflewwithadeepboominghum，exactlythesoundmadebyawaspatawindowpane。
　　Mr。Butteridgetooktheworldbysurprise。HewasoneofthosegentlemenfromnowhereFatestillsucceedsinproducingforthestimulationofmankind。Hecame，itwasvariouslysaid，fromAustraliaandAmericaandtheSouthofFrance。HewasalsodescribedquiteincorrectlyasthesonofamanwhohadamassedacomfortablefortuneinthemanufactureofgoldnibsandtheButteridgefountainpens。ButthiswasanentirelydifferentstrainofButteridges。Forsomeyears，inspiteofaloudvoice，alargepresence，anaggressiveswagger，andanimplacablemanner，hehadbeenanundistinguishedmemberofmostoftheexistingaeronauticalassociations。ThenonedayhewrotetoalltheLondonpaperstoannouncethathehadmadearrangementsforanascentfromtheCrystalPalaceofamachinethatwoulddemonstratesatisfactorilythattheoutstandingdifficultiesinthewayofflyingwerefinallysolved。Fewofthepapersprintedhisletter，stillfewerwerethepeoplewhobelievedinhisclaim。NoonewasexcitedevenwhenafracasonthestepsofaleadinghotelinPiccadilly，inwhichhetriedtohorse—whipaprominentGermanmusicianuponsomepersonalaccount，delayedhispromisedascent。Thequarrelwasinadequatelyreported，andhisnamespeltvariouslyBetteridgeandBetridge。Untilhisflightindeed，hedidnotandcouldnotcontrivetoexistinthepublicmind。Therewerescarcelythirtypeopleonthelook—outforhim，inspiteofallhisclamour，whenaboutsixo’clockonesummermorningthedoorsofthebigshedinwhichhehadbeenputtingtogetherhisapparatusopened——itwasnearthebigmodelofamegatheriumintheCrystalPalacegrounds——andhisgiantinsectcamedroningoutintoanegligentandincredulousworld。
　　ButbeforehehadmadehissecondcircuitoftheCrystalPalacetowers，Famewasliftinghertrumpet，shedrewadeepbreathasthestartledtrampswhosleepontheseatsofTrafalgarSquarewererousedbyhisbuzzandawoketodiscoverhimcirclingtheNelsoncolumn，andbythetimehehadgottoBirmingham，whichplacehecrossedabouthalf—pastten，herdeafeningblastwasechoingthroughoutthecountry。Thedespaired—ofthingwasdone。
　　Amanwasflyingsecurelyandwell。
　　Scotlandwasagapeforhiscoming。Glasgowhereachedbyoneo’clock，anditisrelatedthatscarcelyaship—yardorfactoryinthatbusyhiveofindustryresumedworkbeforehalf—pasttwo。
　　ThepublicmindwasjustsufficientlyeducatedintheimpossibilityofflyingtoappreciateMr。Butteridgeathispropervalue。HeeircledtheUniversitybuildings，anddroppedtowithinshoutingdistanceofthecrowdsinWestEndParkandontheslopeofGilmorehill。Thethingflewquitesteadilyatapaceofaboutthreemilesanhour，inawidecircle，makingadeephumthat，wouldhavedrownedhisfull，richvoicecompletelyhadhenotprovidedhimselfwithamegaphone。Heavoidedchurches，buildings，andmono—railcableswithconsummateeaseasheconversed。
　　"Mename’sButteridge，"heshouted;"B—U—T—T—E—R—I—D—G—E。—Gotit？MemotherwasScotch。"
　　Andhavingassuredhimselfthathehadbeenunderstood，heroseamidstcheersandshoutingandpatrioticcries，andthenflewupveryswiftlyandeasilyintothesouth—easternsky，risingandfallingwithlong，easyundulationsinanextraordinarilywasp—likemanner。
　　HisreturntoLondon——hevisitedandhoveredoverManchesterandLiverpoolandOxfordonhisway，andspelthisnameouttoeachplace——wasanoccasionofunparalleledexcitement。Everyonewasstaringheavenward。Morepeoplewererunoverinthestreetsuponthatoneday，thaninthepreviousthreemonths，andaCountyCouncilsteamboat，theIsaacWalton，collidedwithapierofWestminsterBridge，andnarrowlyescapeddisasterbyrunningashore——itwaslowwater——onthemudonthesouthside。HereturnedtotheCrystalPalacegrounds，thatclassicstarting—pointofaeronauticaladventure，aboutsunset，re—enteredhisshedwithoutdisaster，andhadthedoorslockedimmediatelyuponthephotographersandjournalistswhobeenwaitinghisreturn。
　　"Lookhere，youchaps，"hesaid，ashisassistantdidso，"I’mtiredtodeath，andsaddlesore。Ican’tgiveyouawordoftalk。I’mtoo——done。Myname’sButteridge。B—U—T—T—E—R—I—D—
　　G—E。Getthatright。I’manImperialEnglishman。I’lltalktoyouallto—morrow。"
　　Foggysnapshotsstillsurvivetorecordthatincident。Hisassistantstrugglesinaseaofaggressiveyoungmencarryingnote—booksorupholdingcamerasandwearingbowlerhatsandenterprisingties。Hehimselftowersupinthedoorway，abigfigurewithamouth——aneloquentcavitybeneathavastblackmoustache——distortedbyhisshouttotheserelentlessagentsofpublicity。Hetowersthere，themostfamousmaninthecountry，。
　　Almostsymbolicallyheholdsandgesticulateswithamegaphoneinhislefthand。
　　6
　　TomandBertSmallwaysbothsawthatreturn。TheywatchedfromthecrestofBunHill，fromwhichtheyhadsooftensurveyedthepyrotechnicsoftheCrystalPalace。Bertwasexcited，Tomkeptcalmandlumpish，butneitherofthemrealisedhowtheirownlivesweretobeinvadedbythefruitsofthatbeginning。
　　"P’rapsoldGrubb’llmindtheshopabitnow，"hesaid，"andputhisblessedmodelinthefire。Notthatthatcansaveus，ifwedon’ttideoverwithSteinhart’saccount。"
　　Bertknewenoughofthingsandtheproblemofaeronauticstorealisethatthisgiganticimitationofabeewould，tousehisownidiom，"givethenewspapersfits。"Thenextdayitwasclearthefitshadbeengivenevenashesaid:theirmagazinepageswereblackwithhastyphotographs，theirprosewasconvulsivetheyfoamedattheheadline。Thenextdaytheywereworse。
　　Beforetheweekwasouttheywerenotsomuchpublishedascarriedscreamingintothestreet。
　　ThedominantfactintheuproarwastheexceptionalpersonalityofMr。Butteridge，andtheextraordinarytermshedemandedforthesecretofhismachine。
　　Foritwasasecretandhekeptitsecretinthemostelaboratefashion。HebuilthisapparatushimselfinthesafeprivacyofthegreatCrystalPalacesheds，withtheassistanceofinattentiveworkmen，andthedaynextfollowinghisflighthetookittopiecessinglehanded，packedcertainportions，andthensecuredunintelligentassistanceinpackinganddispersingtherest。Sealedpacking—caseswentnorthandeastandwesttovariouspantechnicons，andtheengineswereboxedwithpeculiarcare。Itbecameevidenttheseprecautionswerenotinadvisableinviewoftheviolentdemandforanysortofphotographorimpressionsofhismachine。ButMr。Butteridge，havingoncemadehisdemonstration，intendedtokeephissecretsafefromanyfurtherriskofleakage。HefacedtheBritishpublicnowwiththequestionwhethertheywantedhissecretornot;hewas，hesaidperpetually，an"ImperialEnglishman，"andhisfirstwishandhislastwastoseehisinventiontheprivilegeandmonopolyoftheEmpire。Only——
　　Itwastherethedifficultybegan。
　　Mr。Butteridge，itbecameevident，wasamansingularlyfreefromanyfalsemodesty——indeed，fromanymodestyofanykind——singularlywillingtoseeinterviewers，answerquestionsuponanytopicexceptaeronautics，volunteeropinions，criticisms，andautobiography，supplyportraitsandphotographsofhimself，andgenerallyspreadhispersonalityacrosstheterrestrialsky。Thepublishedportraitsinsistedprimarilyuponanimmenseblackmoustache，andsecondarilyuponafiercenessbehindthemoustache。ThegeneralimpressionuponthepublicwasthatButteridge，wasasmallman。Noonebig，itwasfelt，couldhavesovirulentlyaggressiveanexpression，though，asamatteroffact，Butteridgehadaheightofsixfeettwoinches，andaweightaltogetherproportionatetothat。Moreover，hehadaloveaffairoflargeandunusualdimensionsandirregularcircumstancesandthestilllargelydecorousBritishpubliclearntwithreluctanceandalarmthatasympathetictreatmentofthisaffairwasinseparablefromtheexclusiveacquisitionofthepricelesssecretofaerialstabilitybytheBritishEmpire。Theexactparticularsofthesimilaritynevercametolight，butapparentlytheladyhad，inafitofhigh—mindedinadvertence，hadgonethroughtheceremonyofmarriagewith，onequotestheunpublisheddiscourseofMr。Butteridge——"awhite—liveredskunk，"
　　andthiszoologicalaberrationdidinsomelegalandvexatiousmannermarhersocialhappines。Hewantedtotalkaboutthebusiness，toshowthesplendourofhernatureinthelightofitscomplications。Itwasreallymostembarrassingtoapressthathasalwayspossessedaconsiderableturnforreticence，thatwantedthingspersonalindeedinthemodernfashion。Yetnottoopersonal。Itwasembarrassing，Isay，tobeinexorablyconfrontedwithMr。Butteridge’sgreatheart，toseeitlaidopeninrelentlesssself—vivisection，anditspulsatingdissepiments’
　　adornedwithemphaticflaglabels。
　　Confrontedtheywere，andtherewasnogettingawayfromit。Hewouldmakethisappallingviscusbeatandthrobbeforetheshrinkingjournalists——nounclewithabigwatchandalittleeverbabyeverharpeduponitsorelentlessly;whateverevasiontheyattemptedhesetaside。He"gloriedinhislove，"hesaid，andcompelledthemtowriteitdown。
　　"That’sofcourseaprivateaffair，Mr。Butteridge，"theywouldobject。
　　"Theinjustice，sorr，ispublic。IdonotcareeitherIamupagainstinstitutionsorindividuals。IdonotcareifIamupagainsttheuniversalAll。Iampleadingthecauseofawoman，awomanIlurve，sorr——anoblewoman——misunderstood。Iintendtovindicateher，sorr，tothefourwindsofheaven！"
　　"IlurveEngland，"heusedtosay——"lurveEngland，butPuritanism，sorr，Iabhor。Itfillsmewithloathing。Itraisesmygorge。Takemyowncase。"
　　Heinsistedrelentlesslyuponhisheart，anduponseeingproofsoftheinterview。Iftheyhadnotdonejusticetohiseroticbellowingsandgesticulations，hestuckin，inalargeinkyscrawl，allandmorethantheyhadomitted。
　　ItwasastrangelyembarrassingthingforBritishjournalism。
　　Neverwasthereamoreobviousoruninterestingaffair;neverhadtheworldheardthestoryoferraticaffectionwithlessappetiteorsympathy。OntheotherhanditwasextremelycuriousaboutMr。Butteridge’sinvention。ButwhenMr。Butteridgecouldbedeflectedforamomentfromthecauseoftheladyhechampioned，thenhetalkedchiefly，andusuallywithtearsoftendernessinhisvoice，abouthismotherandhischildhood——hismotherwhocrownedacompleteencyclopediaofmaternalvirtuebybeing"largelyScotch。"Shewasnotquiteneat，butnearlyso。"Ioweeverythinginmetomemother，"heasserted——"everything。Eh！"
　　and——"askanymanwho’sdoneanything。You’llhearthesamestory。Allwehaveweowetowomen。Theyarethespecies，sorr。
　　Manisbutadream。Hecomesandgoes。Thewoman’ssoulleadethusupwardandon！"
　　Hewasalwaysgoingonlikethat。
　　WhatinparticularhewantedfromtheGovernmentforhissecretdidnotappear，norwhatbeyondamoneypaymentcouldbeexpectedfromamodemstateinsuchanaffair。Thegeneraleffectuponjudiciousobservers，indeed，wasnotthathewastreatingforanything，butthathewasusinganunexampledopportunitytobellowandshowofftoanattentiveworld。Rumoursofhisrealidentityspreadabroad。ItwassaidthathehadbeenthelandlordofanambiguoushotelinCapeTown，andhadtheregivenshelterto，andwitnessed，theexperimentsandfinallystolenthepapersandplansof，anextremelyshyandfriendlessyounginventornamedPalliser，whohadcometoSouthAfricafromEnglandinanadvancedstageofconsumption，anddiedthere。
　　This，atanyrate，wastheallegationofthemoreoutspokenAmericanpress。Buttheproofordisproofofthatneverreachedthepublic。
　　Mr。Butteridgealsoinvolvedhimselfpassionatelyinatangleofdisputesforthepossessionofagreatnumberofvaluablemoneyprizes。Someofthesehadbeenofferedsolongagoas1906forsuccessfulmechanicalflight。BythetimeofMr。Butteridge’ssuccessareallyveryconsiderablenumberofnewspapers，temptedbytheimpunityofthepioneersinthisdirection，hadpledgedthemselvestopayinsomecases，quiteoverwhelmingsumstothefirstpersontoflyfromManchestertoGlasgow，fromLondontoManchester，onehundredmiles，twohundredmilesinEngland，andthelike。Mosthadhedgedalittlewithambiguousconditions，andnowofferedresistance;oneortwopaidatonce，andvehementlycalledattentiontothefact;andMr。Butteridgeplungedintolitigationwiththemorerecalcitrant，whileatthesametimesustainingavigorousagitationandcanvasstoinducetheGovernmenttopurchasehisinvention。
　　Onefact，however，remainedpermanentthroughoutallthedevelopmentsofthisaffairbehindButteridge’spreposterousloveinterest，hispoliticsandpersonality，andallhisshoutingandboasting，andthatwasthat，sofarasthemassofpeopleknew，hewasinsolepossessionofthesecretofthepracticableaeroplaneinwhich，forallonecouldtelltothecontrary，thekeyofthefutureempireoftheworldresided。Andpresently，tothegreatconsternationofinnumerablepeople，includingamongothersMr。BertSmallways，itbecameapparentthatwhatevernegotiationswereinprogressfortheacquisitionofthisprecioussecretbytheBritishGovernmentwereindangeroffallingthrough。TheLondonDailyRequiemfirstvoicedtheuniversalalarm，andpublishedaninterviewundertheterrificcaptionof，"Mr。ButteridgeSpeakshisMind。"
　　Thereintheinventor——ifhewasaninventor——pouredouthisheart。
　　"Icamefromtheendoftheearth，"hesaid，whichratherseemedtoconfirmtheCapeTownstory，"bringingmeMotherlandthesecretthatwouldgivehertheempireoftheworld。AndwhatdoIget？"Hepaused。"Iamsniffedatbyelderlymandarins！……
　　AndthewomanIloveistreatedlikealeper！"
　　"IamanImperialEnglishman，"hewentoninasplendidoutburst，subsequentlywrittenintotheinterviewbyhisownhand;"buttheretherearelimitstothehumanheart！Thereareyoungernations——livingnations！Nationsthatdonotsnoreandgurglehelplesslyinparoxysmsofplethorauponbedsofformalityandredtape！Therearenationsthatwillnotflingawaytheempireofearthinordertoslightanunknownmanandinsultanoblewomanwhosebootstheyarenotfittedtounlatch。TherearenationsnotblindedtoScience，notgivenoverhandandfoottoeffetesnobocraciesandDegenerateDecadents。Inshort，markmywords——THEREAREOTHERNATIONS！"
　　ThisspeechitwasthatparticularlyimpressedBertSmallways。
　　"IfthemGermansorthemAmericansgetholdofthis，"hesaidimpressivelytohisbrother，"theBritishEmpire’sdone。It’sU—P。TheUnionJack，sotospeak，won’tbeworththepaperit’swrittenon，Tom。"
　　"Isupposeyoucouldn’tlendusahandthismorning，"saidJessica，inhisimpressivepause。"EverybodyinBunHillseemswantingearlypotatoesatonce。Tomcan’tcarryhalfofthem。"
　　"We’relivingonavolcano，"saidBert，disregardingthesuggestion。"Atanymomentwarmaycome——suchawar！"
　　Heshookhisheadportentously。
　　"You’dbettertakethislotfirst，Tom，"saidJessica。SheturnedbrisklyonBert。"Canyouspareusamorning？"sheasked。
　　"IdessayIcan，"saidBert。"Theshop’sveryquiets’morning。
　　ThoughallthisdangertotheEmpireworriesmesomethingfrightful。"
　　"Work’lltakeitoffyourmind，"saidJessica。
　　Andpresentlyhetoowasgoingoutintoaworldofchangeandwonder，bowedbeneathaloadofpotatoesandpatrioticinsecurity，thatmergedatlastintoaverydefiniteirritationattheweightandwantofstyleofthepotatoesandaveryclearconceptionoftheentiredetestablenessofJessica。
　　CHAPTERII
　　HOWBERTSMALLWAYSGOTINTODIFFICULTIES
　　ItdidnotoccurtoeitherTomorBertSmallwaysthatthisremarkableaerialperformanceofMr。Butteridgewaslikelytoaffecteitheroftheirlivesinanyspecialmanner，thatitwouldinanywaysinglethemoutfromthemillionsaboutthem;andwhentheyhadwitnesseditfromthecrestofBunHillandseenthefly—likemechanism，itsrotatingplanesagoldenhazeinthesunset，sinkhummingtotheharbourofitsshedagain，theyturnedbacktowardsthesunkengreen—grocerybeneaththegreatironstandardoftheLondontoBrightonmono—rail，andtheirmindsrevertedtothediscussionthathadengagedthembeforeMr。
　　Butteridge’striumphhadcomeinsightoutoftheLondonhaze。
　　Itwasadifficultandunsuccessfuldiscussions。Theyhadtocarryitoninshoutsbecauseofthemoaningandroaringofthegyroscopicmotor—carsthattraversedtheHighStreet，andinitsnatureitwascontentiousandprivate。TheGrubbbusinesswasindifficulties，andGrubbinamomentoffinancialeloquencehadgivenahalf—shareinittoBert，whoserelationswithhisemployerhadbeenforsometimeunsalariedandpallishandinformal。
　　BertwastryingtoimpressTomwiththeideathatthereconstructedGrubb&Smallwaysofferedunprecedentedandunparalleledopportunitiestothejudicioussmallinvestor。ItwascominghometoBert，asthoughitwereanentirelynewfact，thatTomwassingularlyimpervioustoideas。Intheendheputthefinancialissuesononeside，and，makingthethingentirelyamatteroffraternalaffection，succeededinborrowingasovereignonthesecurityofhiswordofhonour。
　　ThefirmofGrubb&Smallways，formerlyGrubb，hadindeedbeensingularlyunluckyinthelastyearorso。Formanyyearsthebusinesshadstruggledalongwithaflavourofromanticinsecurityinasmall，dissolute—lookingshopintheHighStreet，adornedwithbrilliantlycolouredadvertisementsofcycles，adisplayofbells，trouser—clips，oil—cans，pump—clips，frame—cases，wallets，andotheraccessories，andtheannouncementof"BicyclesonHire，""Repairs，""Freeinflation，""Petrol，"
　　andsimilarattractions。Theywereagentsforseveralobscuremakesofbicycle，——twosamplesconstitutedthestock，——andoccasionallytheyeffectedasale;theyalsorepairedpuncturesanddidtheirbest——thoughluckwasnotalwaysontheirside——
　　withanyotherrepairingthatwasbroughttothem。Theyhandledalineofcheapgramophones，anddidalittlewithmusicalboxes。
　　Thestapleoftheirbusinesswas，however，thelettingofbicyclesonhire。Itwasasingulartrade，obeyingnoknowncommercialoreconomicprinciples——indeed，noprinciples。Therewasastockofladies’andgentlemen’sbicyclesinastateofdisrepairthatpassesdescription，andthese，thehiringstock，werelettounexactingandrecklesspeople，inexpertinthethingsofthisworld，atanominalrateofoneshillingforthefirsthourandsixpenceperhourafterwards。Butreallytherewerenofixedprices，andinsistentboyscouldgetbicyclesandthethrillofdangerforanhourforsolowasumasthreepence，providedtheycouldconvinceGrubbthatthatwasalltheyhad。
　　Thesaddleandhandle—barwerethensketchilyadjustedbvGrubb，adepositexacted，exceptinthecaseoffamiliarboys，themachinelubricated，andtheadventurerstarteduponhiscareer。
　　Usuallyheorshecameback，butattimes，whentheaccidentwasserious，BertorGrubbhadtogooutandfetchthemachinehome。
　　Hirewasalwayschargeduptothehourofreturntotheshopanddeductedfromthedeposit。Itwasrarethatabicyclestartedoutfromtheirhandsinastateofpedanticefficiency。Romanticpossibilitiesofaccidentlurkedinthewornthreadofthescrewthatadjustedthesaddle，intheprecariouspedals，intheloose—knitchain，inthehandle—bars，aboveallinthebrakesandtyres。Tappingsandclankingsandstrangerhythmiccreakingsawokeastheintrepidhirerpedalledoutintothecountry。Thenperhapsthebellwouldjamorabrakefailtoactonahill;ortheseat—pillarwouldgetloose，andthesaddledropthreeorfourincheswithadisconcertingbump;orthelooseandrattlingchainwouldjumpthecogsofthechain—wheelasthemachinerandownhill，andsobringthemechanismtoanabruptanddisastrousstopwithoutatthesametimearrestingtheforwardmomentumoftherider;oratyrewouldbang，orsighquietly，andgiveupthestruggleforefficiency。
　　Whenthehirerreturned，aheatedpedestrian，Grubbwouldignoreallverbalcomplaints，andexaminethemachinegravely。
　　"Thisain’t’adfairusage，"heusedtobegin。
　　Hebecameamildembodimentofthespiritofreason。"Youcan’texpectabicycletotakeyouupinitsarmsandcarryyou，"heusedtosay。"Yougottoshowintelligence。Afterall——it’smachinery。"
　　Sometimestheprocessofliquidatingtheconsequentclaimsborderedonviolence。Itwasalwaysaveryrhetoricalandoftenatryingaffair，butintheseprogressivetimesyouhavetomakeanoisetogetaliving。Itwasoftenhardwork，butneverthelessthishiringwasafairlysteadysourceofprofit，untilonedayallthepanesinthewindowanddoorwerebrokenandthestockonsaleinthewindowgreatlydamagedanddisorderedbvtwoover—criticalhirerswithnosenseofrhetoricalirrelevance。Theywerebig，coarsestokersfromGravesend。Onewasannoyedbecausehisleftpedalhadcomeoff，andtheotherbecausehistyrehadbecomedeflated，smallandindeednegligibleaccidentsbyBunHillstandards，dueentirelytotheungentlehandlingofthedelicatemachinesentrustedtothem——andtheyfailedtoseeclearlyhowtheyputthemselvesinthewrongbythismethodofargument。Itisapoorwayofconvincingamanthathehasletyouadefectivemachinetothrowhisfoot—pumpabouthisshop，andtakehisstockofgongsoutsideinordertoreturnthemthroughthewindow—panes。ItcarriednorealconvictiontothemindsofeitherGrubborBert;itonlyirritatedandvexedthem。Onequarrelmakesmany，andthisunpleasantnessledtoaviolentdisputebetweenGrubbandthelandlorduponthemoralaspectsofandlegalresponsibilityfortheconsequentre—glazing。IntheendGrubbandSmallwayswereputtotheexpenseofastrategicnocturnalremovaltoanotherposition。
　　Itwasapositiontheyhadlongconsidered。Itwastsmall，shed—likeshopwithaplate—glasswindowandoneroombehind，justatthesharpbendintheroadatthebottomofBunHill;andheretheystruggledalongbravely，inspiteofpersistentannoyancefromtheirformerlandlord，hopingforcertaineventualitiesthepeculiarsituationoftheshopseemedtopromise。Here，too，theyweredoomedtodisappointment。
　　TheHighRoadfromLondontoBrightonthatranthroughBunHillwasliketheBritishEmpireortheBritishConstitution——athingthathadgrowntoitspresentimportance。UnlikeanyotherroadsinEuropetheBritishhighroadshaveneverbeensubjectedtoanyorganisedattemptstogradeorstraightenthemout，andtothatnodoubttheirpeculiarpicturesquenessistobeascribed。TheoldBunHillHighStreetdropsatitsendforperhapseightyorahundredfeetofdescentatanangleofoneinfive，turnsatrightanglestotheleft，runsinacurveforaboutthirtyyardstoabrickbridgeoverthedryditchthathadoncebeentheOtterbourne，andthenbendssharplytotherightagainroundadenseclumpoftreesandgoeson，asimple，straightforward，peacefulhighroad。Therehadbeenoneortwohorse—and—vanandbicycleaccidentsintheplacebeforetheshopBertandGrubbtookwasbuilt，and，tobefrank，itwastheprobabilityofothersthatattractedthemtoit。
　　Itspossibilitieshadcometothemfirstwithahumorousflavour。
　　"Here’soneoftheplaceswhereachapmightgetalivingbykeepinghens，"saidGrubb。
　　"Youcan’tgetalivingbykeepinghens，"saidBert。
　　"You’dkeepthehenandhaveitspatch—cocked，"saidGrubb。"Themotorchapswouldpayforit。"
　　Whentheyreallycametotaketheplacetheyrememberedthisconversation。Hens，however，wereoutofthequestion;therewasnoplaceforarununlesstheyhaditintheshop。Itwouldhavebeenobviouslyoutofplacethere。Theshopwasmuchmoremodernthantheirformerone，andhadaplate—glassfront。"Soonerorlater，"saidBert，"weshallgetamotor—carthroughthis。"
　　"That’sallright，"saidGrubb。"Compensation。Idon’tmindwhenthatmotor—carcomesalong。Idon’tmindevenifitgivesmeashocktothesystem。
　　"Andmeanwhile，"saidBert，withgreatartfulness，"I’mgoingtobuymyselfadog。"
　　Hedid。Heboughtthreeinsuccession。HesurprisedthepeopleattheDogs’HomeinBatterseabydemandingadeafretriever，andrejectingeverycandidatethatprickedupitsears。"Iwantagood，deaf，slow—movingdog，"hesaid。"Adogthatdoesn’tputhimselfoutforthings。"
　　Theydisplayedinconvenientcuriosity;theydeclaredagreatscarcityofdeafdogs。
　　"Yousee，"theysaid，"dogsaren’tdeaf。"
　　"Mine’sgottobe，"saidBert。"I’veHADdogsthataren’tdeaf。
　　AllIwant。It’slikethis，yousee——Isellgramophones。
　　NaturallyIgottomake’emtalkandtootleabittoshow’emorf。Well，adogthatisn’tdeafdoesn’tlikeit——getsexcited，smellsround，barks，growls。Thatupsetsthecustomer。See？
　　Thenadogthathashishearingfanciesthings。Makesburglarsoutofpassingtramps。Wantstofighteverymotorthatmakesawhizz。Allverywellifyouwantliveningup，butourplaceislivelyenough。Idon’twantadogofthatsort。Iwantaquietdog。"
　　Intheendhegotthreeinsuccession，butnoneofthemturnedoutwell。Thefirststrayedoffintotheinfinite，heedingnoappeals;thesecondwaskilledinthenightbyafruitmotor—waggonwhichfledbeforeGrubbcouldgetdown;thethirdgotitselfentangledinthefrontwheelofapassingcyclist，whocamethroughtheplateglass，andprovedtobeanactoroutofworkandanundischargedbankrupt。Hedemandedcompensationforsomefanciedinjury，wouldhearnothingofthevaluabledoghehadkilledorthewindowhehadbroken，obligedGrubbbysheerphysicalobduracytostraightenhisbuckledfrontwheel，andpesteredthestrugglingfirmwithaseriesofinhumanlywordedsolicitor’sletters。Grubbansweredthem——stingingly，andputhimself，Bertthought，inthewrong。
　　Affairsgotmoreandmoreexasperatingandstrainedunderthesepressures。Thewindowwasboardedup，andanunpleasantaltercationabouttheirdelayinrepairingitwiththenewlandlord，aBunHillbutcher——andaloud，bellowing，unreasonablepersonatthat——servedtoremindthemoftheirunsettledtroubleswiththeold。ThingswereatthispitchwhenBertbethoughthimselfofcreatingasortofdebenturecapitalinthebusinessforthebenefitofTom。But，asIhavesaid，Tomhadnoenterpriseinhiscomposition。Hisideaofinvestmentwasthestocking;hebribedhisbrothernottokeeptheofferopen。
　　Andthenill—luckmadeitslastlungeattheircrumblingbusinessandbroughtittotheground。
　　2
　　Itisapoorheartthatneverrejoices，andWhitsuntidehadanairofcomingasanagreeablebreakinthebusinesscomplicationsofGrubb&Smallways。EncouragedbythepracticaloutcomeofBert’snegotiationswithhisbrother，andbythefactthathalfthehiring—stockwasoutfromSaturdaytoMonday，theydecidedtoignoretheresiduumofhiring—tradeonSundayanddevotethatdaytomuch—neededrelaxationandrefreshment——tohave，infact，anunstintedgoodtime，abeanoonWhitSundayandreturninvigoratedtograpplewiththeirdifficultiesandtheBankHolidayrepairsontheMonday。Nogoodthingwaseverdonebyexhaustedanddispiritedmen。IthappenedthattheyhadmadetheacquaintanceoftwoyoungladiesinemploymentinClapham，MissFlossieBrightandMissEdnaBunthorne，anditwasresolvedthereforetomakeacheerfullittlecyclistpartyoffourintotheheartofKent，andtopicnicandspendanindolentafternoonandeveningamongthetreesandbrackenbetweenAshfordandMaidstone。
　　MissBrightcouldrideabicycle，andamachinewasfoundforher，notamongthehiringstock，butspecially，inthesampleheldforsale。MissBunthorne，whomBertparticularlyaffected，couldnotride，andsowithsomedifficultyhehiredabasket—
　　worktrailerfromthebigbusinessofWray’sintheClaphamRoad。