’Itis——anawakening。Inthinkingoftheheavenabove,Ididnotperceive——the——’
’Earthbeneath?’
’Thebetterheavenbeneath。Pray,dearLadyConstantine,givemeyourhandforamoment。’
Sheseemedstartled,andthehandwasnotgiven。
’Iamsoanxioustogethome,’sherepeated。’Ididnotmeantostayheremorethanfiveminutes!’
’IfearIammuchtoblameforthisaccident,’hesaid。’Ioughtnottohaveintrudedhere。Butdon’tgrieve!Iwillarrangeforyourescape,somehow。Begoodenoughtofollowmedown。’
Theyredescended,and,whisperingtoLadyConstantinetoremainafewstairsbehind,hebegantorattleandunlockthedoor。
Themenprecipitatelyremovedtheirbench,andSwithinsteppedout,thelightofthesummernightbeingstillenoughtoenablethemtodistinguishhim。
’Well,Hezekiah,andSamuel,andNat,howareyou?’hesaidboldly。
’Well,sir,’tismuchasbeforewi’me,’repliedNat。’Onehouraweekwi’GodA’mightyandtherestwiththedevil,asachapmaysay。Andreally,nowyerpoorfather’sgone,I’dasliefthatthatSundayhourshouldpassliketherest;forPa’sonTarkenhamdoteaseafeller’sconsciencethatmuch,thatchurchisnohollerdayatalltothelimbs,asitwasinyerreverentfather’stime!Butwe’vebeenwaitinghere,Mr。SanCleeve,supposingyehadnotcome。’
’Ihavebeenstayingatthetop,andfastenedthedoornottobedisturbed。NowIamsorrytodisappointyou,butIhaveanotherengagementthisevening,sothatitwouldbeinconvenienttoadmityou。To—morrowevening,oranyeveningbutthis,Iwillshowyouthecometandanystarsyoulike。’
Theyreadilyagreedtocomethenextnight,andpreparedtodepart。
Butwhatwiththeflagon,andthepipes,andthefinalobservations,gettingawaywasamatteroftime。Meanwhileacloud,whichnobodyhadnoticed,arosefromthenorthoverhead,andlargedropsofrainbegantofallsorapidlythattheconclaveenteredthehuttillitshouldbeover。St。Cleevestrolledoffunderthefirs。
Thenextmomenttherewasarustlingthroughthetreesatanotherpoint,andamanandwomanappeared。Thewomantookshelterunderatree,andtheman,bearingwrapsandumbrellas,cameforward。
’Mylady’smanandmaid,’saidSammy。
’Isherladyshiphere?’askedtheman。
’No。Ireckonherladyshipkeepsmorekissablecompany,’repliedNatChapman。
’Packo’stuff!’saidBlore。
’Nothere?Well,tobesure!Wecan’tfindheranywhereinthewidehouse!I’vebeensenttolookforherwiththeseoverclothesandumbrella。I’vesufferedhorse—fleshtraipsingupanddown,andcan’tfindhernowhere。Lord,Lord,wherecanshebe,andtwomonths’wagesowingtome!’
’Whysoanxious,AnthonyGreen,asIthinkyernameisshaped?Youbenotamarriedman?’saidHezzy。
’’Tiswhattheycallme,neighbours,whetherorno。’
’Butsurelyyouwasabachelorchapbylate,aforeherladyshipgotridoftheregularservantsandtookye?’
’Iwere;butthat’spast!’
’Andhowcameyetobowyerheadto’t,Anthony?’Tiswhatyouneverwasinclinedto。Youwasbynomeansadotingmaninmytime。’
’Well,hadIbeenlefttomyownfreechoice,’tisaslikeasnotI
shouldha’shunnedformingsuchkindred,beingatthattimeapoordayman,orweekly,atmyhighestluckinhiring。But’tiswearingworktoholdoutagainstthecustomofthecountry,andthewomanwantingyetostandbyherandsaveherfromunbornshame;so,sincecommonusagewouldhaveit,Iletmyselfbecarriedawaybyopinion,andtookher。Thoughshe’sneveroncethankedmeforcoveringherconfusion,that’strue!But,’tisthewayofthelostwhensafe,andIdon’tcomplain。Heresheis,justbehind,underthetree,ifyou’dliketoseeher?——averynicehomespunwomantolookat,too,forallherfewweather—stains……Well,well,wherecanmyladybe?AndIthetrustyjineralman——’tismorethanmyplaceisworthtoloseher!Comeforward,Christiana,andtalknicelytothework—
folk。’
Whilethewomanwastalkingtherainincreasedsomuchthattheyallretreatedfurtherintothehut。St。Cleeve,whohadimpatientlystoodalittlewayoff,nowsawhisopportunity,and,puttinginhishead,said,’Therainbeatsin;youhadbettershutthedoor。I
mustascendandcloseupthedome。’
SlammingthedooruponthemwithoutceremonyhequicklywenttoLadyConstantineinthecolumn,andtellinghertheycouldnowpassthevillagersunseenhegaveherhisarm。Thusheconductedheracrossthefrontofthehutintotheshadowsofthefirs。
’Iwillruntothehouseandharnessyourlittlecarriagemyself,’
hesaidtenderly。’Iwillthentakeyouhomeinit。’
’No;pleasedon’tleavemealoneunderthesedismaltrees!’Neitherwouldshehearofhisgettingheranywraps;and,openingherlittlesunshadetokeeptherainoutofherface,shewalkedwithhimacrosstheinsulatingfield,afterwhichthetreesoftheparkaffordedherasufficientsheltertoreachhomewithoutmuchdamage。
Swithinwastoogreatlyaffectedbywhathehadoverheardtospeakmuchtoherontheway,andprotectedherasifshehadbeenashornlamb。Afterafarewellwhichhadmoremeaningthansoundinit,hehastenedbacktoRings—HillSpeer。Thework—folkwerestillinthehut,and,bydintoffriendlyconverseandasipattheflagon,hadsocheeredMr。andMrs。AnthonyGreenthattheyneitherthoughtnorcaredwhathadbecomeofLadyConstantine。
St。Cleeve’ssuddensenseofnewrelationswiththatsweetpatronesshadtakenawayinonehalf—hourhisnaturalingenuousness。
Henceforthhecouldactapart。
’Ihavemadeallsecureatthetop,’hesaid,puttinghisheadintothehut。’Iamnowgoinghome。Whentherainstops,lockthisdoorandbringthekeytomyhouse。’
XIV
ThelabouredresistancewhichLadyConstantine’sjudgmenthadofferedtoherrebelliousaffectionereshelearntthatshewasawidow,nowpassedintoabashfulnessthatrenderedheralmostasunstableofmoodasbefore。Butshewasoneofthatmettle——fervid,cordial,andspontaneous——whohadnotthehearttospoilapassion;
andheraffairshavinggonetorackandruinbynofaultofherownshewaslefttoapainfullynarrowedexistencewhichlentevensomethingofrationalitytoherattachment。Thusitwasthathertenderandunambitioussoulfoundcomfortinherreverses。
AsforSt。Cleeve,thetardinessofhisawakeningwasthenaturalresultofinexperiencecombinedwithdevotiontoahobby。But,likeaspringbudhardinbursting,thedelaywascompensatedbyafterspeed。Atoncebreathlesslyrecognizinginthisfellow—watcheroftheskiesawomanwholovedhim,inadditiontothepatronessandfriend,hetrulytranslatedthenearlyforgottenkissshehadgivenhiminhermomentofdespair。
LadyConstantine,inbeingeightornineyearshissenior,wasanobjectevenbettercalculatedtonourishayouth’sfirstpassionthanagirlofhisownage,superiorityofexperienceandripenessofemotionexercisingthesamepeculiarfascinationoverhimasoverotheryoungmenintheirfirstventuresinthiskind。
Thealchemywhichthustransmutedanabstractedastronomerintoaneagerlover——and,mustitbesaid,spoiltapromisingyoungphysicisttoproduceacommon—placeinamorato——maybealmostdescribedasworkingitschangeinoneshortnight。NextmorninghewassofascinatedwiththenovelsensationthathewantedtorushoffatoncetoLadyConstantine,andsay,’Iloveyoutrue!’intheintensesttonesofhismentalcondition,toregisterhisassertioninherheartbeforeanyofthoseaccidentswhich’creepin’twixtvows,andchangedecreesofkings,’shouldoccurtohinderhim。Buthisembarrassmentatstandinginanewpositiontowardsherwouldnotallowhimtopresenthimselfatherdoorinanysuchhurry。Hewaitedon,ashelplesslyasagirl,forachanceofencounteringher。
Butthoughshehadtacitlyagreedtoseehimonanyreasonableoccasion,LadyConstantinedidnotputherselfinhisway。Sheevenkeptherselfoutofhisway。Nowthatforthefirsttimehehadlearnttofeelastrongimpatiencefortheirmeeting,hershynessforthefirsttimeledhertodelayit。Butgiventwopeoplelivinginoneparish,wholongfromthedepthsoftheirheartstobeineachother’scompany,whatresolvesofmodesty,policy,pride,orapprehensionwillkeepthemforanylengthoftimeapart?
Oneafternoonhewaswatchingthesunfromhistower,halfechoingtheGreekastronomer’swishthathemightbesetclosetothatluminaryforthewonderofbeholdingitinallitsglory,undertheslightpenaltyofbeingconsumedthenextinstant。Heglancedoverthehigh—roadbetweenthefieldandthepark(whichsublunaryfeaturesnowtoooftendistractedhisattentionfromhistelescope),andsawherpassingalongthatway。
Shewasseatedinthedonkey—carriagethathadnowtakentheplaceofherlandau,thewhiteanimallookingnolargerthanacatatthatdistance。Thebuttonedboy,whorepresentedbothcoachmanandfootman,walkedalongsidetheanimal’sheadatasolemnpace;thedogstalkedatthedistanceofayardbehindthevehicle,withoutindulginginasinglegambol;andthewholeturn—outresembledindignityadwarfedstateprocession。
Herewasanopportunitybutfortwoobstructions:theboy,whomightbecurious;andthedog,whomightbarkandattracttheattentionofanylabourersorservantsnear。Yettheriskwastoberun,and,knowingthatshewouldsoonturnupacertainshadylaneatrightanglestotheroadshehadfollowed,heranhastilydownthestaircase,crossedthebarley(whichnowcoveredthefield)bythepathnotmorethanafootwidethathehadtroddenforhimself,andgotintothelaneattheotherend。Byslowlywalkingalonginthedirectionoftheturnpike—roadhesoonhadthesatisfactionofseeinghercoming。Tohissurprisehealsohadthesatisfactionofperceivingthatneitherboynordogwasinhercompany。
Theybothblushedastheyapproached,shefromsex,hefrominexperience。Onethingsheseemedtoseeinamoment,thatintheintervalofherabsenceSt。Cleevehadbecomeaman;andashegreetedherwiththisnewandmaturerlightinhiseyesshecouldnothideherembarrassment,ormeettheirfire。
’IhavejustsentmypageacrosstothecolumnwithyourbookonCometaryNuclei,’shesaidsoftly;’thatyoumightnothavetocometothehouseforit。IdidnotknowIshouldmeetyouhere。’
’Didn’tyouwishmetocometothehouseforit?’
’Ididnot,frankly。Youknowwhy,doyounot?’
’Yes,Iknow。Well,mylongingisatrest。Ihavemetyouagain。
Butareyouunwell,thatyoudriveoutinthischair?’
’No;Iwalkedoutthismorning,andamalittletired。’
’Ihavebeenlookingforyounightandday。Whydoyouturnyourfaceaside?Youusednottobeso。’Herhandrestedonthesideofthechair,andhetookit。’Doyouknowthatsincewelastmet,I
havebeenthinkingofyou——daringtothinkofyou——asIneverthoughtofyoubefore?’
’Yes,Iknowit。’
’Howdidyouknow?’
’Isawitinyourfacewhenyoucameup。’
’Well,IsupposeIoughtnottothinkofyouso。Andyet,hadInotlearnedto,Ishouldneverfullyhavefelthowgentleandsweetyouare。OnlythinkofmylossifIhadlivedanddiedwithoutseeingmoreinyouthaninastronomy!ButIshallneverleaveoffdoingsonow。WhenyoutalkIshallloveyourunderstanding;whenyouaresilentIshallloveyourface。ButhowshallIknowthatyoucaretobesomuchtome?’
Hermannerwasdisturbedassherecognizedtheimpendingself—
surrender,whichsheknewnothowtoresist,andwasnotaltogetherateaseinwelcoming。
’O,LadyConstantine,’hecontinued,bendingoverher,’givemesomeproofmorethanmereseemingandinference,whichareallIhaveatpresent,thatyoudon’tthinkthisItellyouofpresumptioninme!
IhavebeenunabletodoanythingsinceIlastsawyouforponderinguncertainlyonthis。Someproof,orlittlesign,thatweareoneinheart!’
Ablushsettledagainonherface;andhalfineffort,halfinspontaneity,sheputherfingeronhercheek。Healmostdevotionallykissedthespot。
’Doesthatsuffice?’sheasked,scarcelygivingherwordsvoice。
’Yes;Iamconvinced。’
’Thenthatmustbetheend。Letmedriveon;theboywillbebackagainsoon。’Shespokehastily,andlookedaskancetohidetheheatofhercheek。
’No;thetowerdoorisopen,andhewillgotothetop,andwastehistimeinlookingthroughthetelescope。’
’Thenyoushouldrushback,forhewilldosomedamage。’
’No;hemaydowhathelikes,tinkerandspoiltheinstrument,destroymypapers,——anything,sothathewillstaythereandleaveusalone。’
Sheglancedupwithaspeciesofpainedpleasure。
’Youneverusedtofeellikethat!’shesaid,andtherewaskeenself—reproachinhervoice。’Youwereoncesodevotedtoyoursciencethatthethoughtofanintruderintoyourtemplewouldhavedrivenyouwild。Nowyoudon’tcare;andwhoistoblame?Ah,notyou,notyou!’
Theanimalambledonwithher,andhe,leaningonthesideofthelittlevehicle,kepthercompany。
’Well,don’tletusthinkofthat,’hesaid。’Ioffermyselfandallmyenergies,franklyandentirely,toyou,mydear,dearlady,whoseIshallbealways!Butmywordsintellingyouthiswillonlyinjuremymeaninginsteadofemphasizeit。Inexpressing,eventomyself,mythoughtsofyou,IfindthatIfallintophraseswhich,asacritic,Ishouldhithertohaveheartilydespisedfortheircommonness。What’stheuseofsaying,forinstance,asIhavejustsaid,thatIgivemyselfentirelytoyou,andshallbeyoursalways,——thatyouhavemydevotion,myhighesthomage?Thosewordshavebeenusedsofrequentlyinaflippantmannerthathonestuseofthemisnotdistinguishablefromtheunreal。’Heturnedtoher,andadded,smiling,’Youreyesaretobemystarsforthefuture。’
’Yes,Iknowit,——Iknowit,andallyouwouldsay!IdreadedevenwhileIhopedforthis,mydearyoungfriend,’shereplied,hereyesbeingfulloftears。’Iaminjuringyou;whoknowsthatIamnotruiningyourfuture,——Iwhooughttoknowbetter?Nothingcancomeofthis,nothingmust,——andIamonlywastingyourtime。WhyhaveI
drawnyouofffromagrandcelestialstudytostudypoorlonelyme?
Sayyouwillneverdespiseme,whenyougetolder,forthisepisodeinourlives。Butyouwill,——Iknowyouwill!Allmendo,whentheyhavebeenattractedintheirunsuspectingyouth,asIhaveattractedyou。Ioughttohavekeptmyresolve。’
’Whatwasthat?’
’Tobearanythingratherthandrawyoufromyourhighpurpose;tobelikethenoblecitizenofoldGreece,who,attendingasacrifice,lethimselfbeburnttothebonebyacoalthatjumpedintohissleeveratherthandisturbthesacredceremony。’
’ButcanInotstudyandloveboth?’
’Ihopeso,——Iearnestlyhopeso。Butyou’llbethefirstifyoudo,andIamtheresponsibleoneifyoudonot。’
’YouspeakasifIwerequiteachild,andyouimmenselyolder。
Why,howolddoyouthinkIam?Iamtwenty。’
’Youseemyounger。Well,that’ssomuchthebetter。Twentysoundsstrongandfirm。HowolddoyouthinkIam?’
’Ihaveneverthoughtofconsidering。’Heinnocentlyturnedtoscrutinizeherface。Shewincedalittle。Buttheinstinctwaspremature。Timehadtakennolibertieswithherfeaturesasyet;
norhadtroubleveryroughlyhandledher。
’Iwilltellyou,’shereplied,speakingalmostwithphysicalpain,yetasifdeterminationshouldcarryherthrough。’Iameight—and—
twenty——nearly——Imeanalittlemore,afewmonthsmore。AmInotafearfuldealolderthanyou?’
’Atfirstitseemsagreatdeal,’heanswered,musing。’Butitdoesn’tseemmuchwhenonegetsusedtoit。’
’Nonsense!’sheexclaimed。’ItISagooddeal。’
’Verywell,then,sweetestLadyConstantine,letitbe,’hesaidgently。
’Youshouldnotletitbe!Apolitemanwouldhaveflatlycontradictedme……OIamashamedofthis!’sheaddedamomentafter,withasubdued,sadlookupontheground。’Iamspeakingbythecardoftheouterworld,whichIhaveleftbehindutterly;nosuchlipserviceisknowninyoursphere。Icarenothingforthosethings,really;butthatwhichiscalledtheEveinuswilloutsometimes。Well,wewillforgetthatnow,aswemust,atnoverydistantdate,forgetalltherestofthis。’
Hewalkedbesideherthoughtfullyawhile,withhiseyesalsobentontheroad。’Whymustweforgetitall?’heinquired。
’Itisonlyaninterlude。’
’Aninterlude!Itisnointerludetome。Ohowcanyoutalksolightlyofthis,LadyConstantine?Andyet,ifIweretogoawayfromhere,Imight,perhaps,soonreduceittoaninterlude!Yes,’
heresumedimpulsively,’Iwillgoaway。Lovedies,anditisjustaswelltostrangleitinitsbirth;itcanonlydieonce!I’llgo。’
’No,no!’shesaid,lookingupapprehensively。’Imisledyou。Itisnointerludetome,——itistragical。Ionlymeantthatfromaworldlypointofviewitisaninterlude,whichweshouldtrytoforget。Buttheworldisnotall。Youwillnotgoaway?’
Buthecontinueddrearily,’Yes,yes,Iseeitall;youhaveenlightenedme。Itwillbehurtingyourprospectsevenmorethanmine,ifIstay。NowSirBlountisdead,youarefreeagain,——maymarrywhereyouwill,butforthisfancyofours。I’llleaveWellandbeforeharmcomesofmystaying。’
’Don’tdecidetodoathingsorash!’shebegged,seizinghishand,andlookingmiserableattheeffectofherwords。’Ishallhavenobodyleftintheworldtocarefor!AndnowIhavegivenyouthegreattelescope,andlentyouthecolumn,itwouldbeungratefultogoaway!Iwaswrong;believemethatIdidnotmeanthatitwasamereinterludetoME。Oifyouonlyknewhowvery,veryfaritisfromthat!Itismydoubtoftheresulttoyouthatmakesmespeaksoslightingly。’
Theywerenowapproachingcross—roads,andcasuallylookinguptheybeheld,thirtyorfortyyardsbeyondthecrossing,Mr。Torkingham,whowasleaningoveragate,hisbackbeingtowardsthem。Asyethehadnotrecognizedtheirapproach。
Themaster—passionhadalreadysupplantedSt。Cleeve’snaturalingenuousnessbysubtlety。
’WoulditbewellforustomeetMr。Torkinghamjustnow?’hebegan。
’Certainlynot,’shesaidhastily,andpullingthereinsheinstantlydrovedowntheright—handroad。’Icannotmeetanybody!’
shemurmured。’Woulditnotbebetterthatyouleavemenow?——notformypleasure,butthattheremayarisenodistressingtalesaboutusbeforeweknow——howtoactinthis——this’——(shesmiledfaintlyathim)’heartachingextremity!’
Theywerepassingunderahugeoak—tree,whoselimbs,irregularwithshoulders,knuckles,andelbows,stretchedhorizontallyoverthelaneinamannerrecallingAbsalom’sdeath。Aslightrustlingwasperceptibleamidtheleafageastheydrewoutfrombeneathit,andturninguphiseyesSwithinsawthatverybuttonedpagewhoseadventtheyhaddreaded,lookingdownwithinterestatthemfromaperchnotmuchhigherthanayardabovetheirheads。Hehadabunchofoak—applesinonehand,plainlytheobjectofhisclimb,andwasfurtivelywatchingLadyConstantinewiththehopethatshemightnotseehim。Butthatshehadalreadydone,thoughshedidnotrevealit,and,fearingthatthelatterwordsoftheirconversationhadbeenoverheard,theyspokenottilltheyhadpassedthenextturning。
Shestretchedoutherhandtohis。’Thismustnotgoon,’shesaidimploringly。’Myanxietyastowhatmaybesaidofsuchmethodsofmeetingmakesmetoounhappy。Seewhathashappened!’Shecouldnothelpsmiling。’Outofthefrying—panintothefire!Aftermeanlyturningtoavoidtheparsonwehaverushedintoaworsepublicity。Itistoohumiliatingtohavetoavoidpeople,andlowersbothyouandme。Theonlyremedyisnottomeet。’
’Verywell,’saidSwithin,withasigh。’Soitshallbe。’
Andwithsmilesthatmightmoretrulyhavebeentearstheypartedthereandthen。
XV
Thesummerpassedaway,andautumn,withitsinfinitesuiteoftints,camecreepingon。Darkergrewtheevenings,tearfullerthemoonlights,andheavierthedews。Meanwhilethecomethadwaxedtoitslargestdimensions,——solargethatnotonlythenucleusbutaportionofthetailhadbeenvisibleinbroadday。Itwasnowonthewane,thougheverynighttheequatorialstillaffordedanopportunityofobservingthesingularobjectwhichwouldsoondisappearaltogetherfromtheheavensforperhapsthousandsofyears。
ButtheastronomeroftheRings—HillSpeerwasnolongeramatchforhiscelestialmaterials。Scientificallyhehadbecomebutadimvapourofhimself;theloverhadcomeintohimlikeanarmedman,andcastoutthestudent,andhisintellectualsituationwasgrowingalife—and—deathmatter。
Theresolveofthepairhadbeensofarkept:theyhadnotseeneachotherinprivateforthreemonths。ButononedayinOctoberheventuredtowriteanotetoher:——
’Icandonothing!Ihaveceasedtostudy,ceasedtoobserve。Theequatorialisuselesstome。ThisaffectionIhaveforyouabsorbsmylife,andoutweighsmyintentions。Thepowertolabourinthisgrandestoffieldshasleftme。IstruggleagainsttheweaknesstillIthinkofthecause,andthenIblessher。Buttheverydesperationofmycircumstanceshassuggestedaremedy;andthisI
wouldinformyouofatonce。
’Canyoucometome,sinceImustnotcometoyou?Iwillwaitto—
morrownightattheedgeoftheplantationbywhichyouwouldentertothecolumn。Iwillnotdetainyou;myplancanbetoldintenwords。’
Thenightafterpostingthismissivetoherhewaitedatthespotmentioned。
Itwasamelancholyeveningforcomingabroad。Ablusterouswindhadrisenduringtheday,andstillcontinuedtoincrease。Yethestoodwatchfulinthedarkness,andwasultimatelyrewardedbydiscerningashadymuffledshapethatembodieditselffromthefield,accompaniedbythescratchingofsilkoverstubble。Therewasnolongeranydisguiseastothenatureoftheirmeeting。Itwasalover’sassignation,pureandsimple;andboldlyrealizingitassuchheclaspedherinhisarms。
’Icannotbearthisanylonger!’heexclaimed。’ThreemonthssinceIsawyoualone!Onlyaglimpseofyouinchurch,orabowfromthedistance,inallthattime!Whatafearfulstrugglethiskeepingaparthasbeen!’
’YetIwouldhavehadstrengthtopersist,sinceitseemedbest,’
shemurmuredwhenshecouldspeak,’hadnotyourwordsonyourconditionsoalarmedandsaddenedme。Thisinabilityofyourstowork,orstudy,orobserve,——itisterrible!Soterribleastingisittomyconsciencethatyourhintaboutaremedyhasbroughtmeinstantly。’
’YetIdon’taltogethermindit,sinceitisyou,mydear,whohavedisplacedthework;andyetthelossoftimenearlydistractsme,whenIhaveneitherthepowertoworknorthedelightofyourcompany。’
’Butyourremedy!O,Icannothelpguessingit!Yes;youaregoingaway!’
’Letusascendthecolumn;wecanspeakmoreateasethere。ThenI
willexplainall。Iwouldnotaskyoutoclimbsohighbutthehutisnotyetfurnished。’
Heenteredthecabinatthefoot,andhavinglightedasmalllantern,conductedherupthehollowstaircasetothetop,whereheclosedtheslidesofthedometokeepoutthewind,andplacedtheobserving—chairforher。
’Icanstayonlyfiveminutes,’shesaid,withoutsittingdown。
’Yousaiditwasimportantthatyoushouldseeme,andIhavecome。
Iassureyouitisatagreatrisk。IfIamseenhereatthistimeIamruinedforever。ButwhatwouldInotdoforyou?OSwithin,yourremedy——isittogoaway?Thereisnoother;andyetIdreadthatlikedeath!’
’Icantellyouinamoment,butImustbeginatthebeginning。Allthisruinousidlenessanddistractioniscausedbythemiseryofournotbeingabletomeetwithfreedom。Thefearthatsomethingmaysnatchyoufrommekeepsmeinastateofperpetualapprehension。’
’Itistootruealsoofme!Idreadthatsomeaccidentmayhappen,andwastemydaysinmeetingthetroublehalf—way。’
’Soourlivesgoon,andourlaboursstandstill。Nowfortheremedy。DearLadyConstantine,allowmetomarryyou。’
Shestarted,andthewindwithoutshookthebuilding,sendingupayetintensermoanfromthefirs。
’Imean,marryyouquiteprivately。Letitmakenodifferencewhatevertoouroutwardlivesforyears,forIknowthatinmypresentpositionyoucouldnotpossiblyacknowledgemeashusbandpublicly。Butbymarryingatoncewesecurethecertaintythatwecannotbedividedbyaccident,coaxing,orartifice;and,ateaseonthatpoint,Ishallembracemystudieswiththeoldvigour,andyouyours。’
LadyConstantinewassoagitatedattheunexpectedboldnessofsuchaproposalfromonehithertosoboyishanddeferentialthatshesankintotheobserving—chair,herintentiontoremainforonlyafewminutesbeingquiteforgotten。
Shecoveredherfacewithherhands。’No,no,Idarenot!’shewhispered。
’Butisthereasinglethingelselefttodo?’hepleaded,kneelingdownbesideher,lessinsupplicationthaninabandonment。’Whatelsecanwedo?’
’Waittillyouarefamous。’
’ButIcannotbefamousunlessIstrive,andthisdistractingconditionpreventsallstriving!’
’CouldyounotstriveonifI——gaveyouapromise,asolemnpromise,tobeyourswhenyournameisfairlywellknown?’
St。Cleevebreathedheavily。’Itwillbealong,wearytime,’hesaid。’AndevenwithyourpromiseIshallworkbuthalf—heartedly。
Everyhourofstudywillbeinterruptedwith"Supposethisorthishappens;""Supposesomebodypersuadeshertobreakherpromise;"
worsestill,"Supposesomerivalmalignsme,andsoseducesheraway。"No,LadyConstantine,dearest,bestasyouare,thatelementofdistractionwouldstillremain,andwherethatis,nosustainedenergyispossible。Manyerroneousthingshavebeenwrittenandsaidbythesages,butneverdidtheyfloatagreaterfallacythanthatloveservesasastimulustowinthelovedonebypatienttoil。’
’Icannotarguewithyou,’shesaidweakly。
’Myonlypossibleotherchancewouldlieingoingaway,’heresumedafteramoment’sreflection,withhiseyesonthelanternflame,whichwavedandsmokedinthecurrentsofairthatleakedintothedomefromthefiercewind—streamwithout。’IfImighttakeawaytheequatorial,supposingitpossiblethatIcouldfindsomesuitableplaceforobservinginthesouthernhemisphere,——say,attheCape,——
IMIGHTbeabletoapplymyselftoseriousworkagain,afterthelapseofalittletime。Thesouthernconstellationsofferalessexhaustedfieldforinvestigation。IwonderifImight!’
’Youmean,’sheanswereduneasily,’thatyoumightapplyyourselftoworkwhenyourrecollectionofmebegantofade,andmylifetobecomeamatterofindifferencetoyou?……Yes,go!No,——Icannotbearit!Theremedyisworsethanthedisease。Icannotletyougoaway!’
’ThenhowcanyourefusetheonlyconditiononwhichIcanstay,withoutruintomypurposeandscandaltoyourname?Dearest,agreetomyproposal,asyoulovebothmeandyourself!’
Hewaited,whilethefir—treesrubbedandproddedthebaseofthetower,andthewindroaredaroundandshookit;butshecouldnotfindwordstoreply。
’WouldtoGod,’heburstout,’thatImightperishhere,likeWinstanleyinhislighthouse!Thenthedifficultywouldbesolvedforyou。’
’Youaresowrong,soverywrong,insayingso!’sheexclaimedpassionately。’Youmaydoubtmywisdom,pitymyshort—sightedness;
butthereisonethingyoudoknow,——thatIloveyoudearly!’
’Youdo,——Iknowit!’hesaid,softenedinamoment。’ButitseemssuchasimpleremedyforthedifficultythatIcannotseehowyoucanmindadoptingit,ifyoucaresomuchformeasIdoforyou。’