Sheputherfingersoverhereyes。"It’shorribletocomplain!Onlyit’ssobad!ButIwon’tagain——promise。
Shetookthesleepingdraughtgratefully,makingaface,likeachildafterapowder。
"Howlongdoyouthinkit’llbebeforeIcanplayagain?Oh!I
forgot——thereareotherthingstothinkabout。"Sheheldoutherhandtome。"Lookatmyring。Married——isn’titfunny?Ha,ha!
Nobodywilleverunderstand——that’sfunnytoo!PoorGran!Yousee,therewasn’tanyreason——onlyme。That’stheonlyreasonI’mtellingyounow;Mumsisthere——butshedoesn’tcount;whydon’tyoucount,Mums?"
Thefeverwasfightingagainstthedraught;shehadtossedtheclothesbackfromherthroat,andnowandthenraisedonethinarmalittle,asifiteasedher;hereyeshadgrownlarge,andinnocentlikeachild’s;thecandle,too,hadflared,andwasburningclearly。
"Nobodyistotellhim——nobodyatall;promise……!IfIhadn’tslipped,itwouldhavebeendifferent。Whatwouldhavehappenedthen?Youcan’ttell;andIcan’t——that’sfunny!DoyouthinkI
lovedhim?Nobodymarrieswithoutlove,dothey?Notquitewithoutlove,Imean。ButyouseeIwantedtobefree,hesaidhe’dtakeme;
andnowhe’sleftmeafterall!Iwon’tbeleft,Ican’t!WhenI
cametothecliff——thatbitwheretheivygrowsrightdown——therewasjusttheseathere,underneath;soIthoughtIwouldthrowmyselfoveranditwouldbeallquiet;andIclimbedonaledge,itlookedeasierfromthere,butitwassohigh,Iwantedtogetback;andthenmyfootslipped;andnowit’sallpain。Youcan’tthinkmuch,whenyou’reinpain。"
>FromhereyesIsawthatshewasdroppingoff。
"Nobodycantakeyouawayfrom—yourself。He’snottobetold——noteven——Idon’t——wantyou——togoaway,because——"Buthereyesclosed,andshedroppedofftosleep。
Theydon’tseemtoknowthismorningwhethersheisbetterorworse……
VI
"Tuesday,9thAugust。
ItseemsmorelikethreeweeksthanthreedayssinceIwrote。Thetimepassesslowlyinasickhouse……!Thedoctorswereherethismorning,theygiveherfortyhours。Notawordofcomplainthaspassedherlipssincesheknew。Toseeheryouwouldhardlythinkherill;hercheekshavenothadtimetowasteorlosetheircolour。
Thereisnotmuchpain,butaslow,creepingnumbness……ItwasJohnFord’swishthatsheshouldbetold。Shejustturnedherheadtothewallandsighed;thentopooroldMrs。Hopgood,whowascryingherheartout:"Don’tcry,Mums,Idon’tcare。"
Whentheyhadgone,sheaskedforherviolin。Shemadethemholditforher,anddrewthebowacrossthestrings;butthenotesthatcameoutweresotremblinganduncertainthatshedroppedthebowandbrokeintoapassionofsobbing。Sincethen,nocomplaintormoanofanykind……
Buttogoback。OnSunday,thedayafterIwrote,asIwascomingfromawalk,Imetalittleboymakingmournfulsoundsonatinwhistle。
"Coomahn!"hesaid,"theMisswahntst’zeeyu。"
Iwenttoherroom。Inthemorningshehadseemedbetter,butnowlookedutterlyexhausted。Shehadaletterinherhand。
"It’sthis,"shesaid。"Idon’tseemtounderstandit。Hewantsmetodosomething——butIcan’tthink,andmyeyesfeelfunny。Readittome,please。"
TheletterwasfromZachary。Ireadittoherinalowvoice,forMrs。Hopgoodwasintheroom,hereyesalwaysfixedonPasianceaboveherknitting。WhenI’dfinished,shemademereaditagain,andyetagain。Atfirstsheseemedpleased,almostexcited,thencameaweary,scornfullook,andbeforeI’dfinishedthethirdtimeshewasasleep。Itwasaremarkableletter,thatseemedtobringthemanrightbeforeone’seyes。Islippeditunderherfingersonthebed—
clothes,andwentout。Fancytookmetothecliffwhereshehadfallen。Ifoundthepointofrockwherethecascadeofivyflowsdownthecliff;theledgeonwhichshehadclimbedwasalittletomyright——amadplace。Itshowedplainlywhatwildemotionsmusthavebeendrivingher!Behindwasahalf—cutcornfieldwithafringeofpoppies,andswarmsofharvestinsectscreepingandflying;intheuncutcornalandrailkeptupacontinualcharring。Theskywasbluetotheveryhorizon,andtheseawonderful,underthatblackwildcliffstainedhereandtherewithred。Overthedipsandhollowsofthefieldsgreatwhitecloudshunglowdownabovetheland。Therearenobrassy,east—coastskieshere;butalwayssleepy,soft—shapedclouds,fullofsubtlestirandchange。PassagesofZachary’sPearse’sletterkeptrisingtomylips。Afterallhe’sthemanthathisnativeplace,andlife,andbloodhavemadehim。Itisuselesstoexpectidealistswheretheairissoftandthingsgoodtolookon(theidealistgrowswherehemustcreatebeautyorcomfortforhimself);uselesstoexpectamanoflawandorder,inonewhosefathershavestaredattheseadayandnightforathousandyears——
thesea,fullofitspromisesofunknownthings,neverquitethesame,aslavetoitsownimpulses。Manisanimitativeanimal……
"Life’shardenough,"hewrote,"withouttyingyourselfdown。Don’tthinktoohardlyofme!ShallImakeyouhappierbytakingyouintodanger?IfIsucceedyou’llbearichwoman;butIshallfailifyou’rewithme。Tolookatyoumakesmesoft。Atseaamandreamsofallthegoodthingsonland,he’lldreamoftheheather,andhoney——you’relikethat;andhe’lldreamoftheapple—trees,andthegrassoftheorchards——you’relikethat;sometimesheonlyliesonhisbackandwishes——andyou’relikethat,mostofalllikethat……"
WhenIwasreadingthosewordsIrememberastrange,soft,half—
scornfullookcameoverPasiance’sface;andonceshesaid,"Butthat’sallnonsense,isn’tit……?"
Thenfollowedalongpassageaboutwhathewouldgainifhesucceeded,aboutallthathewasrisking,theimpossibilityoffailure,ifhekepthiswitsabouthim。"It’sonlyamatteroftwomonthsorso,"hewenton;"staywhereyouare,dear,orgotomyDad。He’llbegladtohaveyou。There’smymother’sroom。There’snoonetosay’No’toyourfiddlethere;youcanplayitbythesea;
andondarknightsyou’llhavethestarsdancingtoyouoverthewaterasthickasbees。I’velookedatthemoften,thinkingofyou……"
Pasiancehadwhisperedtome,"Don’treadthatbit,"andafterwardsI
leftitout……Thenthesensuoussideofhimshowsup:"WhenI’vebroughtthisoff,there’sthewholeworldbeforeus。ThereareplacesIcantakeyouto。There’soneIknow,nottoowarmandnottoocold,whereyoucansitalldayintheshadeandwatchthecreepers,andthecocoa—palms,stillasstill;nothingtodoorcareabout;allthefruitsyoucanthinkof;nonoisebuttheparrotsandthestreams,andasplashwhenaniggerdivesintoawater—hole。
Pasiance,we’llgothere!Withaneighty—toncraftthere’snoseawecouldn’tknow。Theworld’safineplaceforthosewhogoouttotakeit;there’slotsofunknownstuff’inityet。I’llfillyourlap,mypretty,sofulloftreasuresthatyoushan’tknowyourself。Amanwasn’tmeanttositathome……"
Throughoutthisletter——forallitsrealpassion——onecouldfeelhowthemanwasholdingtohispurpose——therathersordidpurposeofthisventure。He’sunconsciousofit;forheisinlovewithher;buthemustbefurtheringhisownends。Heisvital——horriblyvital!I
wonderlessnowthatsheshouldhaveyielded。
Whatvisionshasn’thedangledbeforeher。Therewasphysicalattraction,too——Ihaven’tforgottenthelookIsawonherfaceatBlackMill。Butwhenall’ssaidanddone,shemarriedhim,becauseshe’sPasianceVoisey,whodoesthingsandwants"togetback。"Andsheliestheredying;nothenoranyothermanwillevertakeheraway。It’spitifultothinkofhimtinglingwithpassion,writingthatlettertothisdoomedgirlinthatdarkholeofasaloon。"I’vewantedmoney,"hewrote,"eversinceIwasalittlechapsittinginthefieldsamongthecows……Iwantitforyounow,andImeantohaveit。I’vestudiedthethingtwoyears;IknowwhatIknow……
ThemomentthisisinthepostIleaveforLondon。Thereareahundredthingstolookafterstill;Ican’ttrustmyselfwithinreachofyouagaintilltheanchor’sweighed。WhenIre—christenedherthePiedWitch,Ithoughtofyou——youwitchtome……"
Therefollowedasolemnentreatytohertobeonthepathleadingtothecoveatseveno’clockonWednesdayevening(thatis,to—morrow)
whenhewouldcomeashoreandbidhergood—bye。Itwassigned,"Yourlovinghusband,ZacharyPearse……"
Ilayattheedgeofthatcornfieldalongtime;itwasverypeaceful。Thechurchbellshadbeguntoring。Thelongshadowscamestealingoutfromthesheaves;woodpigeonsroseonebyone,andflappedofftoroost;thewesternskywasstreakedwithred,andallthedownsandcombebathedinthelastsunlight。Perfectharvestweather;butoppressivelystill,thestillnessofsuspense……
Lifeatthefarmgoesonasusual。Wehavemorningandeveningprayers。JohnFordreadsthemfiercely,asthoughhewereontheeveofarevoltagainsthisGod。Morningandeveninghevisitsher,comesoutwheezingheavily,andgoestohisownroom;Ibelieve,topray。SincethismorningIhaven’tdaredmeethim。Heisastrongoldman——butthiswillbreakhimup……
VII
"KINGSWEAR,Saturday,i3tbAugust。
It’sover——Ileavehereto—morrow,andgoabroad。
Aquietafternoon——notabreathupinthechurchyard!Iwastherequitehalfanhourbeforetheycame。Someredcowshadstrayedintotheadjoiningorchard,andwererubbingtheirheadsagainsttherailing。WhileIstoodthereanoldwomancameanddrovethemaway;
afterwards,shestoopedandpickeduptheapplesthathadfallenbeforetheirtime。
"Theapplesareripeandreadytofall,Oh!heigh—ho!andreadytofall;
Therecameanoldwomanandgatheredthemall,Oh!heigh—ho!andgatheredthemall。"……TheybroughtPasianceverysimply——nohideousfuneraltrappings,thankGod——thefarmhandscarriedher,andtherewasnoonetherebutJohnFord,theHopgoods,myself,andthatyoungdoctor。
Theyreadtheserviceoverhergrave。IcanhearJohnFord’s"Amen!"
now。Whenitwasoverhewalkedawaybareheadedinthesun,withoutaword。Iwentupthereagainthisevening,andwanderedamongstthetombstones。"RichardVoisey,""John,thesonofRichardandConstanceVoisey,""MargeryVoisey,"somanygenerationsoftheminthatcorner;then"RichardVoiseyandAgneshiswife,"andnexttoitthatnewmoundonwhichasparrowwasstruttingandtheshadowsoftheapple—treesalreadyhovering。
Iwilltellyouthelittlelefttotell……
OnWednesdayafternoonsheaskedformeagain。
"It’sonlytillseven,"shewhispered。"He’scertaintocomethen。
ButifI——weretodiefirst——thentellhim——I’msorryforhim。Theykeepsaying:’Don’ttalk——don’ttalk!’Isn’titstupid?AsifI
shouldhaveanyotherchance!There’llbenomoretalkingafterto—
night!Makeeverybodycome,please——Iwanttoseethemall。Whenyou’redyingyou’refreerthananyothertime——nobodywantsyoutodothings,nobodycareswhatyousay……HepromisedmeIshoulddowhatIlikedifImarriedhim——Ineverbelievedthatreally——butnowIcandowhatIlike;andsayallthethingsIwantto。"Shelaybacksilent;shecouldnotafterallspeaktheinmostthoughtsthatareineachofus,sosacredthattheymeltawayattheapproachofwords。
Ishallrememberherlikethat——withthegleamofasmileinherhalf—closedeyes,herredlipsparted——suchaquaintlookofmockery,pleasure,regret,onherlittleround,upturnedface;theroomwhite,andfreshwithflowers,thebreezegutteringtheapple—leavesagainstthewindow。Inthenighttheyhadunhookedtheviolinandtakenitaway;shehadnotmissedit……WhenDancame,Igaveupmyplacetohim。Hetookherhandgentlyinhisgreatpaw,withoutspeaking。
"Howsmallmyhandlooksthere,"shesaid,"toosmall。"Danputitsoftlybackonthebedclothesandwipedhisforehead。Pasiancecriedinasharpwhisper:"Isitsohotinhere?Ididn’tknow。"Danbentdown,puthislipstoherfingersandlefttheroom。
Theafternoonwaslong,thelongestI’veeverspent。Sometimessheseemedtosleep,sometimeswhisperedtoherselfabouthermother,hergrandfather,thegarden,orhercats——allsortsofinconsequent,trivial,evenludicrousmemoriesseemedtothronghermind——neveronce,Ithink,didshespeakofZachary,but,nowandthen,sheaskedthetime……Eachhourshegrewvisiblyweaker。JohnFordsatbyherwithoutmoving,hisheavybreathingwasoftentheonlysound;
sometimessherubbedherfingersonhishand,withoutspeaking。Itwasasummaryoftheirlivestogether。Onceheprayedaloudforherinahoarsevoice;thenherpitiful,impatienteyessignedtome。
"Quick,"shewhispered,"Iwanthim;it’sallso——cold。"
Iwentoutandrandownthepathtowardsthecove。
LeaningonagatestoodZachary,anhourbeforehistime;dressedinthesameoldblueclothesandleather—peakedcapasonthedaywhenI
sawhimfirst。Heknewnothingofwhathadhappened。Butataquarterofthetruth,I’msurehedivinedthewhole,thoughhewouldnotadmitittohimself。Hekeptsaying,"Itcan’tbe。She’llbewellinafewdays——asprain!D’youthinkthesea—voyage……Isshestrongenoughtobemovednowatonce?"
Itwaspainfultoseehisface,sotwistedbythestrugglebetweenhisinstinctandhisvitality。Thesweatpoureddownhisforehead。
Heturnedroundaswewalkedupthepath,andpointedouttosea。
Therewashissteamer。"Icouldgetheronboardinnotime。
Impossible!Whatisit,then?Spine?GoodGod!Thedoctors……
Sometimesthey’lldowonders!"Itwaspitifultoseehiseffortstoblindhimselftothereality。
"Itcan’tbe,she’stooyoung。We’rewalkingveryslow。"Itoldhimshewasdying。
ForasecondIthoughthewasgoingtorunaway。Thenhejerkeduphishead,andrushedontowardsthehouse。Atthefootofthestaircasehegrippedmebytheshoulder。
"It’snottrue!"hesaid;"she’llgetbetternowI’mhere。I’llstay。Leteverythinggo。I’llstay。"
"Now’sthetime,"Isaid,"toshowyoulovedher。Pullyourselftogether,man!"Heshookallover。
"Yes!"wasallheanswered。Wewentintoherroom。Itseemedimpossibleshewasgoingtodie;thecolourwasbrightinhercheeks,herlipstremblingandpoutedasifshehadjustbeenkissed,hereyesgleaming,herhairsodarkandcrisp,herfacesoyoung……
HalfanhourlaterIstoletotheopendoorofherroom。Shewasstillandwhiteasthesheetsofherbed。JohnFordstoodatthefoot;and,bowedtothelevelofthepillows,hisheadonhisclenchedfists,satZachary。Itwasutterlyquiet。Thegutteringoftheleaveshadceased。Whenthingshavecometoacrisis,howlittleonefeels——nofear,nopity,nosorrow,ratherthesense,aswhenaplayisover,ofanxietytogetaway!
SuddenlyZacharyrose,brushedpastmewithoutseeing,andrandownstairs。
SomehourslaterIwentoutonthepathleadingtothecove。Itwaspitch—black;theridinglightofthePiedWitchwasstillthere,lookingnobiggerthanafirefly。ThenfrominfrontIheardsobbing——aman’ssobs;nosoundisquitesodreadful。ZacharyPearsegotupoutofthebanknottenpacesoff。
Ihadnohearttogoafterhim,andsatdowninthehedge。Therewassomethingsubtlyakintoherinthefreshdarknessoftheyoungnight;thesoftbank,thescentofhoneysuckle,thetouchofthefernsandbrambles。Deathcomestoallofus,andwhenit’soverit’sover;butthisblindbusiness——ofthoseleftbehindAlittlelatertheshipwhistledtwice;herstarboardlightgleamedfaintly——andthatwasall……
VIII
"TORQUAY,30thOctober……DoyourememberthelettersIwroteyoufromMoorFarmnearlythreeyearsago?To—dayIrodeoverthere。IstoppedatBrixhamonthewayforlunch,andwalkeddowntothequay。Therehadbeenashower——butthesunwasoutagain,shiningonthesea,thebrown—redsails,andtherampartofslateroofs。
Atrawlerwaslyingthere,whichhadevidentlybeeninacollision。
Thespiky—bearded,thin—lippedfellowintornbluejerseyandsea—
bootswhowassuperintendingtherepairs,saidtomealittleproudly:
"Baneincollision,zurr;liketozeeoverher?"Thensuddenlyscrewinguphislittleblueeyes,headded:
"Why,Iremembersyu。Steeredyualongo’theyoungladyinthisyerverycraft。"
ItwasPrawle,ZacharyPearse’shenchman。
"Yes,"hewenton,"that’sthecutter。"
"AndCaptainPearse?"
Heleanthisbackagainstthequay,andspat。"Hewasapra—aperman;Ineverzanenonelike’en。"
"Didyoudoanygoodoutthere?"
Prawlegavemeasharpglance。
"Gude?No,t’wasarrmwedone,vromztarttofinish——hadtroubleallthetime。Whatamancudedu,theskipperdid。Whenyucaan’tduright,zomecallsit’Providence’!’Tisallmyeyean’BettyMartin!
WhatIzayes,’tisthesetimes,there’ssuchadaleo’folk,adaleofpuzzivantin’fellers;theworld’stosmall。"
WiththesewordsthereflashedacrossmeavisionofDrakecrushedintoourmodernlifebytheshrinkageoftheworld;Drakecaughtinthemeshesofredtape,electricwires,andalltheloftyappliancesofourcivilization。Doesatypesurviveitsage;liveonintotimesthathavenoroomforit?Thebloodisthere——andsometimesthere’sathrow—back……Allfancy!Eh?
"So,"Isaid,"youfailed?"
Prawlewriggled。
"Iwudden’goofortozaythat,zurr——’tisanuglyword。Da—am!"headded,staringathisboots,"’twasthrumetu。Wewerealongamongthehaythen,andImus’nadesgoofortobreakmeleg。Thecapt’nhewudden’laveme。’OneDevonman,’hesaystome,’don’laveanotherr。’Wewerrsixdayswhereweshuldha’beentu;whenwegotbacktotheshipacruiserhadgotherforgun—runnin’。"
"AndwhathasbecomeofCaptainPearse?"
Prawleanswered,"Zurr,Ibelave’ewenttoChina,’tisonsartin。"
"He’snotdead?"
Prawlelookedatmewithakindofuneasyanger。
"Yucudden’kell’en!’Tistrue,mun’lldiezomeday。Buttherr’snotaonethat’llshowbetterzportthanCapt’nZach’ryPearse。"
Ibelievethat;hewillbehardtokill。Thevisionofhimcomesup,withhisperfectbalance,defianteyes,andsweetishsmile;thewaythehairofhisbeardcrispedalittle,andgotblackeronthecheeks;thesortofdesperatefeelinghegave,thatonewouldnevergetthebetterofhim,thathewouldnevergetthebetterofhimself。
ItookleaveofPrawleandhalfacrown。BeforeIwasoffthequayI
heardhimsayingtoalady,"Baneincollision,marm!Liketozeeoverher?"
AfterlunchIrodeontoMoor。Theoldplacelookedmuchthesame;
buttheapple—treeswerestrippedoffruit,andtheirleavesbeginningtogoyellowandfall。OneofPasiance’scatspassedmeintheorchardhuntingabird,stillwitharibbonrounditsneck。JohnFordshowedmeallhislatestimprovements,butneverbywordorsignalludedtothepast。HeinquiredafterDan,backinNewZealandnow,withoutmuchinterest;hisstubblybeardandhairhavewhitened;hehasgrownverystout,andInoticedthathislegsarenotwellundercontrol;heoftenstopstoleanonhisstick。Hewasveryilllastwinter;andsometimes,theysay,willgostraightofftosleepinthemiddleofasentence。
ImanagedtogetafewminuteswiththeHopgoods。WetalkedofPasiancesittinginthekitchenunderarowofplates,withthatclingingsmellofwood—smoke,bacon,andagebringingupmemories,asnothingbutscentscan。Thedearoldlady’shair,drawnsonicelydownherforeheadoneachsidefromthecentreofhercap,hasafewthinsilverlines;andherfaceisathoughtmorewrinkled。Thetearsstillcomeintohereyeswhenshetalksofher"lamb。"
OfZacharyIheardnothing,butshetoldmeofoldPearse’sdeath。
"Therrtheyfound’en,zotospake,dead——inth’sun;butHa—apgoodcantellyu,"andHopgood,everrollinghispipe,mutteredsomething,andsmiledhiswoodensmile。
Hecametoseemeofffromthestraw—yard。"’Tislikedeathtothevarrm,zurr,"hesaid,puttingalltheplayofhisvastshouldersintothebucklingofmygirths。"MisterFord——well!Andnotoneofth’oldstocktotakeitwhen’e’sgarn……Ah!itwerrcruel;myoldwoman’sneverbeenhersel’since。Tell’eewhat’tis——don’tdut’thinktomuch。"
Iwentoutofmywaytopassthechurchyard。Therewereflowers,quitefresh,chrysanthemums,andasters;abovethemthewhitestone,alreadystained:
"PASIANCE
WIFEOFZACHARYPEARSE
’TheLordhatbgiven,andtheLordhatbtakenaway。"’
Theredcowsweretheretoo;theskyfullofgreatwhiteclouds,somebirdswhistlingalittlemournfully,andintheairthescentoffallenleaves……
May,1900。
AKNIGHT
TO
MYMOTHER
AKNIGHT
I
AtMonteCarlo,inthespringoftheyear189—,Iusedtonoticeanoldfellowinagreysuitandsunburntstrawhatwithablackribbon。
Everymorningateleveno’clock,hewouldcomedowntothePlace,followedbyabrindledGermanboarhound,walkonceortwiceroundit,andseathimselfonabenchfacingthecasino。Therehewouldremaininthesun,withhisstrawhattiltedforward,histhinlegsapart,hisbrownhandscrossedbetweenthem,andthedog’snoserestingonhisknee。Afteranhourormorehewouldgetup,and,stoopingalittlefromthewaist,walkslowlyroundthePlaceandreturnuphill。Justbeforethree,hewouldcomedownagaininthesameclothesandgointothecasino,leavingthedogoutside。
Oneafternoon,movedbycuriosity,Ifollowedhim。Hepassedthroughthehallwithoutlookingatthegambling—rooms,andwentintotheconcert。Itbecamemyhabitafterthattowatchforhim。WhenhesatinthePlaceIcouldseehimfromthewindowofmyroom。Thechiefpuzzletomewasthematterofhisnationality。
Hislean,shortfacehadaskinsoburntthatitlookedlikeleather;
hisjawwaslongandprominent,hischinpointed,andhehadhollowsinhischeeks。Therewerewrinklesacrosshisforehead;hiseyeswerebrown;andlittlewhitemoustacheswerebrushedupfromthecornersofhislips。Thebackofhisheadbulgedoutabovethelinesofhisleanneckandhigh,sharpshoulders;hisgreyhairwascroppedquiteclose。IntheMarseillesbuffet,onthejourneyout,IhadmetanEnglishman,almosthiscounterpartinfeatures——butsomehowverydifferent!Thisoldfellowhadnothingoftheother’salert,autocraticself—sufficiency。Hewasquietandundemonstrative,withoutlooking,asitwere,insulatedagainstshocksandforeignsubstances。HewascertainlynoFrenchman。Hiseyes,indeed,werebrown,buthazel—brown,andgentle——notthered—brownsensualeyeoftheFrenchman。AnAmerican?ButwaseveranAmericansopassive?A
German?Hismoustachewascertainlybrushedup,butinamodest,almostpatheticway,notintheleastTeutonic。Nothingseemedtofithim。Igavehimup,andnamedhim"theCosmopolitan。"
LeavingattheendofApril,Iforgothimaltogether。Inthesamemonth,however,ofthefollowingyearIwasagainatMonteCarlo,andgoingonedaytotheconcertfoundmyselfseatednextthissameoldfellow。TheorchestrawasplayingMeyerbeer’s"Prophete,"andmyneighbourwasasleep,snoringsoftly。Hewasdressedinthesamegreysuit,withthesamestrawhat(oroneexactlylikeit)onhisknees,andhishandscrossedaboveit。Sleephadnotdisfiguredhim—hislittlewhitemoustachewasstillbrushedup,hislipsclosed;averygoodandgentleexpressionhoveredonhisface。A
curvedmarkshowedonhisrighttemple,thescarofacutonthesideofhisneck,andhislefthandwascoveredbyanoldglove,thelittleforgerofwhichwasempty。Hewokeupwhenthemarchwasoverandbriskeduphismoustache。
ThenextthingontheprogrammewasalittlethingbyPoisefromLejoliGilles,playedbyMons。Corsanegoontheviolin。Happeningtoglanceatmyoldneighbour,Isawatearcaughtinthehollowofhischeek,andanotherjustleavingthecornerofhiseye;therewasafaintsmileonhislips。Thencameaninterval;andwhileorchestraandaudiencewereresting,Iaskedhimifhewerefondofmusic。Helookedupwithoutdistrust,bowed,andansweredinathin,gentlevoice:"Certainly。Iknownothingaboutit,playnoinstrument,couldneversinganote;butfondofit!Whowouldnotbe?"HisEnglishwascorrectenough,butwithanemphasisnotquiteAmericannorquiteforeign。IventuredtoremarkthathedidnotcareforMeyerbeer。Hesmiled。
"Ah!"hesaid,"Iwasasleep?Toobadofme。Heisalittlenoisy——
Iknowsolittleaboutmusic。ThereisBach,forinstance。Wouldyoubelieveit,hegivesmenopleasure?Agreatmisfortunetobenomusician!"Heshookhishead。
Imurmured,"Bachistooelevatingforyouperhaps。"
"Tome,"heanswered,"anymusicIlikeiselevating。Peoplesaysomemusichasabadeffectonthem。Ineverfoundanymusicthatgavemeabadthought——no——no——quitetheopposite;onlysometimes,asyousee,Igotosleep。Butwhatalovelyinstrumenttheviolin!"
Afaintflushcameonhisparchedcheeks。"Thehumansoulthathasleftthebody。Acuriousthing,distantbuglesatnighthavegivenmethesamefeeling。"Theorchestrawasnowcomingback,and,foldinghishands,myneighbourturnedhiseyestowardsthem。Whentheconcertwasoverwecameouttogether。Waitingattheentrancewashisdog。
"Youhaveabeautifuldog!"
"Ah!yes。Freda。miacara,dasumano!"Thedogsquattedonherhaunches,andliftedherpawinthevague,boredwayofbigdogswhenrequestedtoperformcivilities。Shewasalovelycreature——thepurestbrindle,withoutaspeckofwhite,andfreefromtheunbalancedlookofmostdogsofherbreed。
"Basta!basta!"Heturnedtomeapologetically。"WehaveagreedtospeakItalian;inthatwayIkeepupthelanguage;astonishingthenumberofthingsthatdogwillunderstand!"Iwasabouttotakemyleave,whenheaskedifIwouldwalkalittlewaywithhim——"Ifyouarefree,thatis。"WewentupthestreetwithFredaonthefarsideofhermaster。
"Doyounever’play’here?"Iaskedhim。
"Play?No。Itmustbeveryinteresting;mostexciting,butasamatteroffact,Ican’taffordit。Ifonehasverylittle,oneistoonervous。"
Hehadstoppedinfrontofasmallhairdresser’sshop。"Ilivehere,"hesaid,raisinghishatagain。"Aurevoir!——unlessIcanofferyouaglassoftea。It’sallready。Come!I’vebroughtyououtofyourway;givemethepleasure!"
Ihavenevermetamansofreefromallself—consciousness,andyetsodelicateanddiffidentthecombinationisarareone。Wewentupasteepstaircasetoaroomonthesecondfloor。Mycompanionthrewtheshuttersopen,settingallthefliesbuzzing。Thetopofaplane—treewasonalevelwiththewindow,andallitslittlebrownballsweredancing,quiteclose,inthewind。Ashehadpromised,anurnwashissingonatable;therewasalsoasmallbrownteapot,somesugar,slicesoflemon,andglasses。Abed,washstand,cupboard,tintrunk,twochairs,andasmallrugwereallthefurniture。Abovethebedaswordinaleathersheathwassuspendedfromtwonails。Thephotographofagirlstoodontheclosedstove。Myhostwenttothecupboardandproducedabottle,aglass,andasecondspoon。Whenthecorkwasdrawn,thescentofrumescapedintotheair。Hesniffedatitanddroppedateaspoonfulintobothglasses。