PARTVIII
RELIGIOUSDEVELOPMENT
CHAPTERLVIII
EARLYIMPRESSIONS——1832—1851
WhenthecolonistsfromNewEnglandcameintocentralandwesternNewYork，attheendoftheeighteenthcentury，theywrotetheirmainideaslargeuponthetownstheyfounded。EspeciallywasthisevidentatmybirthplaceontheheadwatersoftheSusquehanna。
Intheheartofthelittlevillagetheylaidout，largelyandliberally，"theGreen";acrossthemiddleofthistheregraduallyrosealineofwoodenstructuresasstatelyastheyknewhowtomakethem，——theorthodoxCongregationalchurchstandingatthecenter;closebesidethischurchstoodthe"academy";andthen，oneitherside，thechurchesoftheBaptists，Methodists，andEpiscopalians。Thuswererepresentedreligion，education，andchurchequality。
TheEpiscopalchurch，asbelongingtotheleastnumerouscongregation，wasattheextremeleft，andthesmallestbuildingofall。Itwaseasilyrecognized。Alltheotherswereinasortofquasi—Italianstyleoftheseventeenthcentury，likethosecommonlyfoundinNewEngland;butthiswasinakindof"carpenter’sGothic"whichhadgrownoutofvaguerecollectionsofthemother—country。TothisbuildingIwastakenforbaptism，andwithitareconnectedmyfirstrecollectionsofpublicworship。MyparentswereverydevotedmembersoftheProtestantEpiscopalChurch。Withasmallnumberofothersoflikemind，theyhadtakenrefugeinitfromthestormsoffanaticismwhichsweptthroughwesternNewYorkduringtheearlyyearsofthenineteenthcentury。Forthatwasthetimeofgreat"revivals。"
ThetremendousassertionsofJonathanEdwardsregardingthetyrannyofGod，havingbeentakenupbyamultitudeofmenwhowereinfinitelyEdwards’sinferiorsineverythingsavelung—power，werespreadwithmuchdinthroughmanychurches:
picturesofanangryMolochholdingovertheinfernalfiresthecreatureswhomhehadpredestinedtorebel，andthestatementthat"hellisfilledwithinfantsnotaspanlong，"wereamongthechoiceoratoricaloutgrowthsofthisperiod。Withtheseloudandluridutteranceswentstrivingsaftersacerdotalrule。Thepresbyter——"oldpriestwritlarge"——tookhighgroundinallthesevillages:thesimplestandmostharmlessamusementsweredenounced，andchurchmembersguiltyoftakingpartinthemwereobligedtostandinthebroadaisleandbepubliclyreprimandedfromthepulpit。
Mymotherwasthoughtful，gentle，andkindly;inthemidstofallthisfrothandfurysomeonelentheraprayer—book;thisledhertojoininthedevotionsofalittleknotofpeoplewhohadbeenbroughtuptouseit;andamongtheseshefoundpeace。Myfather，whowasamanofgreatenergyandvigor，wasattractedtothislittlecompany;andnotlongafterwardrosethelittlechurchontheGreen，servedatfirstbysuchclergymenaschancedtobeinthatpartoftheState。
AmongthesewasarecentgraduateoftheEpiscopalCollegeatGenevaonSenecaLake——HenryGregory。Hisseemedtobeasoulwhichbysomemistakehadescapedoutofthethirteenthcenturyintothenineteenth。Hewasslightinbuild，delicateinhealth，andasceticinhabits，hisoneinterestintheworldbeingtheupbuildingofthekingdomofGod——asheunderstoodit。ItwasthetimewhenPusey，Newman，Keble，andtheircompeerswererevivingmediaevalChristianity;theirideastookstrongholduponmanyearnestmeninthewesternworld，andamongthesenooneabsorbedthemmorefullythanthisyoungmissionary。Hewashonest，fearless，self—sacrificing，andthesequalitiessoongavehimastrongholduponhisflock，——theholdofamediaevalsaintuponpilgrimsseekingrefugefromaworldcruelandperverse。
Seeingthis，sundryclergymenandinfluentiallaymenofwhatwereknownasthe"evangelicaldenominations"attemptedtorefutehisargumentsanddiscredithispractices。Thatwastheverythingwhichheandhiscongregationmostneeded:underthisoppositionhisfervordeepened，hismediaevalcharacteristicsdeveloped，hislittlebandofthefaithfulincreased，andmoreandmoretheyadoredhim;butthisadorationdidnotintheleastinjurehim:
heremainedthesamegentle，fearless，narrow，uncompromisingmanthroughouthislonglifeMyfirstrecollectionsofreligiousworshipinthelittleoldchurchtakemebacktomyfourthyear;andIcanrememberwell，attheageoffive，standingbetweenmyfatherandmother，readingthePsalterwiththemasbestIcould，joininginthechantsandlookingwithgreataweontheserviceasitwentonbeforemyadmiringeyes。SomuchdiditimpressmethatfrommysixthtomytwelfthyearIalwayslookedforwardtoSundaymorningwithlonging。Theprayers，thechants，thehymns，allhadagreatattractionforme，——andthisalthoughIwassomewhatseverelyheldtotheproperobservanceofworship。Irememberwellthatattheageofsixyears，ifIfalteredinthepublicreadingofthePsalter，agentleraponthesideofmyheadfrommyfather’sknucklesremindedmeofmyduty。
AtvarioustimessinceIhavebeenpresentatthemostgorgeousservicesoftheAnglican，Latin，Russian，andOrientalchurches;
haveheardthePope，surroundedbyhiscardinals，singmassatthehighaltarofSt。Peter’s;haveseentheMetropolitanArchbishopofMoscow，surroundedbyprelatesoftheRussianEmpire，conducttheburialofaczar;haveseenthehighestLutherandignitariessolemnizethemarriageofaGermankaiser;
havesatundertheministrationsofsundryarchbishopsofCanterbury;havebeenpresentathighmassperformedbytheArchbishopofAthensundertheshadowofMarsHillandtheParthenon;and，thoughIamsingularlysusceptibletotheinfluenceofsuchpageants，especiallyiftheyareaccompaniedbynoblemusic，nooneofthesehasevermadesogreatanimpressionuponmeasthatsimpleAnglo—Americanserviceperformedbyasurplicedclergymanwithacountrychoiranddevoutassemblageinthislittlevillagechurch。Curiouslyenough，onecustom，whichhigh—churchmenlongagodiscardedasbeneaththeproperdignityoftheservice，wasperhapsthethingwhichimpressedmemost，andIhavesincelearnedthatitgenerallythusimpressednew—comerstotheEpiscopalChurch:thiswastheretirementoftheclergyman，atthecloseoftheregularmorningprayer，tothevestry，wherehelefthissurplice，andwhenceheemergedinablackGenevagown，inwhichhethenpreachedthesermon。Thissimplefeatureintheceremonialgreatlyimpressedme，andledmetoaskthereasonforit:atwhichanswerwasmadethattheclergymanworehiswhitesurpliceaslongashewasusingGod’swords，butthatheworehisblackgownwheneverheusedhisown。
ThoughcomparativelylittlewassaidbyEpiscopaliansregardingreligiousexperiencesorpiousstatesofmind，therewasanatmosphereoforderlydecencyduringthewholeservicewhichcouldhardlyfailtomakeanimpressiononallthinkingchildrenbroughtintoit。Irememberthatwhen，ononeortwooccasions，I
wastakentotheCongregationalchurchbymygrandmother，Iwasmuchshockedatwhatseemedtometheunfitdressandconductoftheclergyman，——inacutawaycoat，lounginguponasofa，——andattheirreverentwaysofthesturdyfarmers，whomadereadytoleavethechurchduringthefinalprayer，andevenwhiletheyshouldhavebeenreceivingthebenediction。
Ithusbecameadevotee。OfthesermonsIretainedlittle，exceptafewstrikingassertionsorlargewords;oneofmyamusements，onreturninghome，wasconductingasortofservice，onmyownaccount，withthoseofthehouseholdwhowerewillingtotakepartinit;and，fromsometraditionspreservedinthefamilyregardingmyutterancesonsuchoccasions，adrollsortofserviceitmusthavebeen。
InmyseventhyearthefamilyremovedtoSyracuse，the"CentralCity"oftheState，alreadybeginningawonderfulcareer，althoughatthattimeoflessthansixthousandinhabitants。Myexperienceinthenewcitywasprefacedbyanexcursion，withmyfatherandmotherandyoungerbrother，toBuffaloandNiagara;
andastherailwaysthroughcentralNewYorkwerethenunfinished，——and，indeed，butfewofthembegun，——wemadethejourneyalmostentirelyonacanal—packet。PerhapsmymostvividremembranceofthisvoyageisthatofthefervidprayersIthenputupagainstshipwreck。
AtSyracusewasamuchlargerandmoreinfluentialProtestantEpiscopalchurchthanthatwhichwehadleft，——next，indeed，inimportancetothePresbyterianbody。Thatchurch——St。Paul’s——hassincebecomethemotherofalargenumberofothers，andhasbeenmadethecathedralofanewdiocese。Inthismyfather，byvirtueofhisvigorineverythingheundertook，wassoonmadeavestryman，andfinallyseniorwarden;and，therectoratehappeningtofallvacant，herecommendedfortheplaceourformerclergyman，HenryGregory。Hecame，andhisworkinthenewplacewassoonevenmoreeffectivethanintheold。
Hisfirstinfluencemademeamostdeterminedlittlebigot，andI
rememberwellmybattlesinbehalfofhigh—churchideaswithvariousPresbyterianboys，andespeciallywiththesonofthePresbyterianpastor。InthosedayswentonafamouscontroversyprovokedbyaspeechataNewEnglanddinnerinthecityofNewYorkwhichhadsetbytheearstwoeminentdivines——theRev。Dr。
Wainwright，Episcopalian，andtheRev。Dr。Potts;Presbyterian。
Dr。PottshadinsistedthatthePuritanshadfoundeda"churchwithoutabishopandastatewithoutaking";Dr。Wainwrightinsistedthattherecouldbenochurchwithoutabishop;andonthisthetwochampionsjoinedissue。Armedwiththeweaponsfurnishedmeinthechurchcatechism，insundrysermons，andinpiousreading，Itookupthecudgels，andthebattlesthenwagedweremanyandsevere。
Onelittleoutgrowthofmyreligiousintolerancewasquicklynippedinthebud。AsIwasreturninghomeoneeveningwithagroupofscampishboys，oneofthempointedoutthe"Jewstore，"——inthosedaysanewthing，——andremindedusthattheproprietorworshipedonSaturdayand，doubtless，committedotherabominations。Atthis，withoneaccord，wedidwhatwecouldtometeouttheOldTestamentpunishmentforblasphemy——wethrewstonesathisdoor。Myfather，hearingofthis，dealtwithmesharplyandshortly，andtaughtmemosteffectuallytoleavedealingwiththeJewishreligiontotheAlmighty。Ihaveneversincebeentemptedtojoininanyanti—Semiticmovementwhatever。
MeanwhileMr。Gregory——or，asheafterwardbecame，Dr。
Gregory——wasfightingthebattlesofthechurchinmanyways，andsomeofhissermonsmadeagreatimpressionuponme。Oftheseonewasentitled"TheChurchnotaSect，"thetextbeing，"Forastothissect，weknowthatitiseverywherespokenagainst。"Anothersermonshowed，especially，hisuncompromisingspiritandtookyetstrongerholduponme;itwasgivenonanoccasionwhenPresbyterians，Methodists，andBaptistsweredrawninlargenumberstohischurch;but，disdainingalleffortstopropitiatethem，hetookashissubject"TheSinofKorah，"whosethimselfupagainsttheregularlyordainedpriesthood，andwas，withallhisadherents，fearfullypunished。Theconclusionwaseasilydrawnbyallthe"dissenters"present。Onanotheroccasionofthesamesort，whenhischurchwasfilledwithpeoplefromothercongregations，hetookashissubjectthestoryofNaamantheSyrian，histextbeing，"ArenotAbanaandPharphar，riversofDamascus，betterthanalltheriversofIsrael？MayInotwashinthemandbeclean？"Thegoodrector’sanswerwas，ineffect，"No，youmaynot。TheAlmightydesignatedtheriverJordanasthemeansforsecuringhealthandsafety;andsointhesetimeshehasdesignatedforasimilarpurposethechurch——whichistheProtestantEpiscopalChurch:outsideofthat——astheoneappointedbyhim——youhavenohope。"
Butgraduallytherecameinmymindareaction，andcuriously，itstartedfrommyloveformygrandmother——mymother’smother。
AmongallthewomenwhomIrememberinmyearlylife，shewasthekindestandmostlovely。Shehadbeenbroughtasayounggirl，byherparents，fromOldGuilfordinConnecticut;andinherlaterlifesheoftentoldmecheerilyofthedaysofprivationandtoil，ofwolveshowlingaboutthecottagesofthelittleNewYorksettlementinwinter，ofjourneystwentymilestochurch，ofridingonhorsebackfromearlymorninguntillateintheevening，throughtheforests，tobringflourfromthemill。Shewasquietlyreligious，readingeverydayfromherNewTestament，butremainingintheoldCongregationalChurchwhichmymotherhadleft。IrememberonceaskingherwhyshedidnotgowiththerestofustotheEpiscopalChurch。Heranswerwas，"Well，dearchild，theEpiscopalChurchisjustthechurchforyourfatherandmotherandforyouchildren;youareallyoungandactive，butI
amgettingoldandratherstout，andthereisalittletoomuchgettingupandsittingdowninyourchurchforme。"TotheharshCalvinismofhercreedsheseemedtopaynoattention，and，ifhardpressedbyme，usedtosay，"Well，sonny，thereis，ofcourse，somemercifulwayoutofitall。"Herreligiontookeverykindlyform。Shelovedeverypersonworthloving，——andsomenotworthloving，——andherbenefactionswereextendedtopeopleofeverycreed;especiallywassheasortofProvidencetothepoorCatholicIrishofthelowerpartofthetown。Touschildrenshewasespeciallydevoted——reconcilingusinourquarrels，soothingusinoursorrows，comfortingusinourdisappointments，andcarryingusthroughoursicknesses。Sheusedgreatcommonsenseinhercareofus;kindlyandgentletothelastdegree，therewasonethingshewouldneverallow，andthiswasthatthechildren，evenwhentheybecamequitelarge，shouldbeoutofthehouse，inthestreetsorpublicplaces，afterdark，withoutanelderlyandtrustycompanion。ThoughmybrotherandIusedtoregardthisasheronefault，itwasreallyagreatservicetous;for，assoonasduskcameon，ifweweretemptedtolingerinthestreetsorinpublicplaces，wereturnedhome，sinceweknewthatifwedidnotweshouldsoonseehercomingtoremindus，andthiswas，ofcourse，aseriousblowtoourpride。
When，then，Isatinchurchandheardourmediaevalsaintpreachwithardorandunction，SundayafterSunday，thatthepromisesweremadetothechurchalone;thatthoseoutsideithadvirtuallynopartinGod’sgoodness;thattheywereprobablylost，——Ithoughtofthisdear，sweetoldlady，andmyheartroseinrebellion。ShewascertainlythebestChristianIknew，andtheideathatsheshouldbepunishedforsayingherprayersinthePresbyterianChurchwasabhorrenttome。Imadeupmymindthat，ifshewastobelost，Iwouldbelostwithher;andsoon，undertheinfluenceofthoughtslikethese，Ibecameareligiousrebel。
Thematterwaslittlehelpedwhenourgoodrectorpreacheduponretributionforsin。Heheldthemostextremeviewsregardingfuturepunishment;andthemorehedevelopedthem，themoremymindrejectedtheideathatsomanygoodpeopleaboutme，especiallytheonewhomIlovedsomuch，couldbesubjectedtosuchtortures，——andthemoremyheartrebelledagainsttheMolochwhohadestablishedandwasadministeringsohorribleasystem。I
musthavebeenabouttwelveyearsoldwhenitthusoccurredtometoquestionthewholesacredtheory;andthisquestioningwasstartedintovigorouslifeaftervisiting，withsomeotherschool—boys，thePresbyterianchurchwhena"revival"wasgoingon。AsIentered，averyunspiritual—lookingpreacherwaslayingdownthemostseveredoctrinesofdivineretribution。Infrontofhimwereseveralofourneighbors’daughters，manyofthemmyschoolmates，whomIregardedasthoroughlysweetandgood;andtheywereintears，apparentlybroken—heartedunderthestormofwrathwhichpouredoverthemfromthemouthoftherevivalpreacher。AtthisIrevoltedentirely，andfromthatmomentI
disbelievedinthewholedoctrine，utterlyandtotally。Ifeltthatthesekindlygirls，towhomIhadlookedwithsomuchadmirationintheclassesatschoolandinourvariouslittlegatherings，wereinfinitelymoreworthyofthedivinefavorthanwasthebig，fleshlycreaturestormingandragingandclaimingtoannounceadivinemessage。
Someinfluenceonmyyouthfulthinkinghadalsobeenexercisedbysundryoccurrencesinourownparish。Ourgoodrectorwasespeciallyfondofpreachingupon"baptismalregeneration";
takingtheextremehigh—churchviewandtherebydrivingoutsomeofthebest"evangelicals"fromhiscongregation。OneoftheseI
rememberespecially——aserene，dignifiedoldman，Mr。JohnDurnford。AfterheleftourchurchhetookhisplaceamongthePresbyterians，andIremember，despitemybroad—churchtendencies，thinkingthathewasincurringseriousdangerbysuchapostasy;butasInotedhim，yearafteryear，devotinghimselftothenewlyfoundedorphan—asylum，givingallhissparetimetothecareofthechildrengatheredthere，evengoingintothemarketandthencebearingprovisionstotheminabasket，Ibegantofeelthatperhapshissoulwassafe，afterall。Ibethoughtmyselfthat，withallmyreadingoftheBible，IhadneverfoundanytextwhichrequiredamantobelieveinthedoctrinesoftheProtestantEpiscopalChurch;butthatIhadfound，inthewordsofJesushimself，aswellasinthetextofStJamesregarding"purereligionandundefiled，"declarationswhichseemedtocommend，especially，laborsforthepoor，fatherless，andafflicted，likethoseofMr。Durnford。
Butstillmoremarkedwastheinfluenceonmythinkingofapainfulclashintheparish。Itcameonthiswise。Ourrectorwasonedaycalledtoattendthefuneralofalittlechildbutafewweeksold，thedaughterofneighborsofours。Thefatherwasabig—bodied，big—hearted，big—voiced，successfulmanofbusiness，welllikedforhisbluffcordialityandgenerosity，whowenttochurchbecausehiswifewent。Themotherwasasweet，kindly，delicatewoman，thedaughterofaclergyman，anddevotedtothechurch。
Ithappenedthat，forvariousreasons，andmoreespeciallyonaccountoftheabsenceofthefatherfromhomeonbusiness，thebaptismofthechildhadbeendelayeduntilitssuddendeathpreventedtheriteforever。
Thefamilyandneighborsbeingassembledatthehouse，andtheserviceabouttobegin，anoldmaidenlady，whohaddeeplyabsorbedtheteachingsofDr。Gregoryandwishedtoimpressthemonthosepresent，saidtothefather，audiblyandwithagroan，"Oh，Mr。————，whatapitythatthebabywasnotbaptized！"towhichtherectorresponded，withadeepsighandinamostplaintivevoice，"Yes！"Thereuponthemotherofthechildburstintoloudandpassionateweeping，andatthisthefather，bigandimpulsiveashewas，lostallcontrolofhimself。Risingfromhischair，hestrodetothesideoftherectorandsaid，"ThatisaslanderontheAlmighty;nonebutadevilcould，formynegligence，punishthislovelylittlechildbyagesoftorture。
Takeitback——takeitback，sir;or，bytheGodthatmadeus，I
willtakeyoubytheneckandthrowyouintothestreet！"AtthisthegentlerectorfalteredoutthathedidnotpresumetolimitthemercyofGod，andafteratimetheservicewenton;butsermonsonbaptismalregenerationfromourpulpitwereneverafterwardfrequentorcogent。
StartledasIwasatthisscene，Ifeltthatthedoctrinehadnotstoodthetest。MoreandmoretherewasdevelopedinmethatfeelingwhichLordBaconexpressedsoprofoundlyandpithily，inhisessayon"Superstition，"whenhesaid:
ItwerebettertohavenoopinionofGodatall，thansuchanopinionasisunworthyofHim;foriftheoneisunbelief，theotheriscontumely:andcertainlysuperstitionisthereproachoftheDeity。Plutarchsaithwelltothatpurpose:"Surely，IhadratheragreatdealthatmenshouldsaytherewasnosuchmanatallasPlutarch，thanthattheyshouldsaythatPlutarchatehischildrenassoonastheywereborn;"——asthepoetsspeakofSaturn:andasthecontumelyisgreatertowardsGod，sothedangerisgreatertowardsmen。
The"danger"ofwhichBaconspeakshasbeennotedbymeoften，bothbeforeandsinceIreadhisessays。Once，indeed，whenaveryorthodoxladyhaddeclaredtomeherconvictionthateverydisbelieverinthedivinityofthesecondpersonintheTrinitymustbelost，Iwarnedherofthisdangerandsaid，"WelatelyhadPresidentGranthereontheuniversitygrounds。Supposeyourlittlegirl，havingmetthePresident，andhavingbeentoldthathewasthegreatgeneralofthewarandPresidentoftheUnitedStates，shouldassertherdisbelief，basingitonthefactthatshehadformedtheideaofamuchmoreshowyandgorgeouspersonthanthisquiet，modestlittleman;andsupposethatGeneralGrant，onhearingofthechild’smistake，shouldcruellypunishherforit;whatwouldyouthinkofhim？andwhatwouldhethinkofyou，werehetoknowthatyouassertedthathecouldbesocontemptiblyunjustandcruel？Thechild’sutterancewouldnotintheslightestoffendhim，butyourimputationtohimofsuchvilenesswouldmostcertainlyangerhim。"
Acontributiontomyreligiousdevelopmentcamealsofromaverydifferentquarter。OurkitchenBridget，oneofthebestofherkind，lentmeherbookofdevotion——the"UrsulineManual。"ItinterestedmemuchuntilIfoundinitthereasonsverycogentlygivenwhysalvationwasconfinedtotheRomanCatholicChurch。
Thisdisgustedme。Accordingtothis，evenourgoodrectorhadnomorechanceofsalvationthanaPresbyterianorBaptistorMethodistminister。Butthisseriousviewofthecasewasdisturbedbyahumorousanalogy。Therewerethenfightingvigorouslythroughtheadvertisementcolumnsofthenewspaperstworivaldoctors，eachclaimingtoproducetheonlysalutary"sarsaparilla，"andeachnamedTownsend。Atfirstoneclaimedtobe"THEDr。Townsend，"thentheotherclaimedtobe"THEDr。
Townsend";thefirstrejoinedthatHEwas"Dr。JACOBTownsend，"
whereupontheotherinsistedthatHEwas"Dr。JacobTownsend";tothisthefirstansweredthatHEwas"theORIGINALDr。JacobTownsend，"andtheotherthendeclaredthatHEwas"theORIGINAL
Dr。JacobTownsend";andsoon，throughissueafterissue，eachsupplyingstatements，certificates，arguments，rejoindersadnauseam。Moreandmore，then，thevariousdivinesinsistingontheexclusivepossessionoftheonlyremedyforsinremindedmeoftheseeminentsarsaparilla—makers，——eachdeclaringhisownconcoctiongenuineandallothersspurious，eachglorifyinghimselfaspossessingtheoriginalrecipeanddenouncinghisrivalsaspretenders。
AnothercontributiontomythoughtwasmadeonedayintheSunday—school。WhilereadingintheNewTestamentIhadnoticedthedifficultiesinvolvedinthetwogenealogiesofJesusofNazareth——thatinMatthewandthatinLuke。OnmyaskingtheSunday—schoolteacherforanexplanation，hegavetheoffhandanswerthatonewasthegenealogyofJosephandtheotherofMary。Ofcourseitdidnottakemelongtofindthisanswerinadequate;and，asaconsequence，Sunday—schoolteachinglostmuchofitseffectuponme。
Buttherewasstillonepowerfulinfluenceleftinbehalfoftheoldcreed。Fromtimetotimecamethevisitationbythebishop，Dr。DeLancey。HewasthemostIMPRESSIVEmanIhaveeverseen。I
havestoodinthepresenceofmanyprelatesinmyday，fromPopePiusIXdown;butnooneofthemhaseversoawedmeasthisBishopofWesternNewYork。Hisentryintoachurchchancelwasanevent;nomusiccouldbefinerthanhisreadingoftheservice;hisconfirmationprayerstilldwellsinmymemoryasthemostperfectpetitionIhaveeverheard;andhissimple，earnestsermonstookstrongholdofme。Hispersonalinfluencewasalsogreat。Goldsmith’slinesinthe"DesertedVillage，"
"Evenchildrenfollow’dwithendearingwileAndpluck’dhisgown，tosharethegoodman’ssmile，"
accuratelypicturedthefeelingsofmanyofusaswelingeredafterservicetoseehimgreetourfathersandmothers。
Astomybiblicalstudies，theywerecontinued，thoughnotperhapsassystematicallyastheymightwellhavebeen。TheProtestantEpiscopalChurchhasforayouthatleastoneadvantageinthisrespect，——thattheservicesincludingIntroits，Canticles，Psalter，Lessons，EpistlesGospels，andvariousquotations，familiarizehimwiththenoblestutterancesinoursacredbooks。MymotherhadreceivedinstructioninBibleclassandprizedScripturereading;thereforeitwasthat，whenIwasallowedtostayathomefromchurchonSundayafternoons，itwasalwaysonconditionthatIshouldreadacertainnumberofchaptersintheBibleandprovetoheruponherreturnthatIhadreadthemcarefully，——andthiswasnotwithoutitsuses。
HereIamremindedofasomewhatcuriousevent。Oneafternoon，whenIhadbeenpermittedtoremainathome，ontheusualconditions，mymother，returningfromservice，saidtomethatbystayingawayfromchurchIhadmissedsomethingveryinteresting:
thattherewasagoodsermonwellgiven，thatthepreacherwasoffineappearance，dignified，——andanIndian;butthatshewouldneverhavesuspectedhimtobeanIndianwereitnotforhiswordsattheconclusionofhissermon，whichwereasfollows:
"Andnow，mybrethren，Ileaveyou。Weshallprobablynevermeetagaininthisworld，anddoubtlessmostofyouwillforgetallthecounselsIhavegivenyouandremembernothingsavethatyouhaveto—dayheardasermonfromanIndian。"Thepointofinterestreallywasthatthispreacher，EleazarWilliams，thoughhegavenohintofitonthisoccasion，believedhimself，andwasbelievedbymany，tobethelostDauphinofFrance，LouisXVII，andthatdecidedlyskilfulargumentsinfavorofhisclaimswerepublishedbytheRev。Mr。Hansonandothers。OneofthemostintelligentwomenIhaveeverknownbelievestothishourthatEleazarWilliams，generallyknownasahalf—breedIndianborninCanada，wasthesonofLouisXVIandMarieAntoinette，andthathisportlyformandBourbonfacewereconvincingadditionstoothermorecogenttestimonies。
AtvarioustimesIsoughtlightfromnewsources，and，findingonthefamilyshelvesaseriesofbookscalledthe"EvangelicalFamilyLibrary，"IreadsundryrepliestoHume，Gibbon，andotherdeists;buttheargumentsofHumeandGibbonandthosewhothoughtwiththemseemedtome，tosaytheleast，quiteasforcibleasthoseinanswertothem。Theserepliessimplystrengthenedmytendencytodoubt，andwhatIheardatchurchratherincreasedthedifficulty;forthefavoritesubjectsofsermonsintheEpiscopalChurchofthosedays，afterthe"ApostolicalSuccession"and"BaptismalRegeneration，"weretheperfectionsofthechurchorder，thebeautyofitsservices，andthealmostdivinecharacterofthePrayer—book。Thesetopicsweredevelopedinallthemoodsandtenses;thebeautiesofourownservicewereconstantlycontrastedwiththecruditiesandabsurditiesoftheworshippractisedbyothers;andalthough，sincethosedays，lefttomyownobservation，Ihavefoundmuchtruthinthesecomparisons，theyproduceduponmeatthattimeanythingbutagoodeffect。Itwaslikeabeautifulwomancomingintoanassemblage;callingattentiontotheperfectionsofherownface，form，andgarments;claimingloudlytobethemostbeautifulpersonintheroom;andso，finally，becomingtheleastattractivepersonpresent。
Thisstateofmindwasdeepenedbymyfirstexperiencesatcollege。Ihad，frommyearlyboyhood，wishedtogotoYale;but，underpressurefromthebishop，IwassenttothelittlechurchcollegeatGenevainwesternNewYorkTherewereexcellentmenamongitsprofessors——menwhomIcametoloveandadmire;butitsfaculty，itsendowment，itsequipment，wereinsufficient，andforfearofdrivingawaythesonsofitswealthyandinfluentialpatronsitcouldnotaffordtoinsisteitheronhighscholarshiporgooddiscipline，sothattheworkdonewasmostunsatisfactory。AndhereImaymentionthattheespecialclaimputforthbythiscollege，asbysomanyotherslikeitthroughoutthecountry，wasthat，withsosmallabodyofstudentsdirectlyunderchurchcontrol，boththeintellectualandreligiousinterestsofthestudentswouldbebetterguardedthantheycouldbeinthelargerandcomparativelyunsectarianinstitutions。Theverycontrarywasthentrue;andvariousexperienceshaveshownmethat，asarule，littlesectariancolleges，iftoofeebletoexercisestrongdisciplineorinsistonthoroughwork，arethemoredangerous。Asitwas，Ifeltthatinthisparticularcaseawronghadbeendonemeandchargedthatwrongagainstthechurchsystem。
Ihavebeengladtolearnoflateyearsthatthecollegejustreferredtohas，sincemystudentdays，sharedtheupwardprogressofitssisterinstitutionsandthatwithmoremeansandbetterappliancesasuccessionofsuperiorinstructorshavebeenabletobringitsstudentsintosteadygoodworkandunderexcellentdiscipline。
Muchwasmadeinthosedaysofthe"Christianevidences，"andonestatementthenputforth，regardingthemiraculous，producedatemporaryeffectuponme。ThisstatementwasthattheclaimsofthereligionsopposedtoChristianitydidnotrestuponmiracles;
thattherewas，atanyrate，norealtestimonytoanyexceptChristianmiracles;andthat，asarule，otherreligionsdidnotpretendtoexhibitany。ButwhenI，shortlyafterward，readthelifeofMohammed，andsawwhatagreatpartwasplayedbyhismiracleatthebattleofBeder，duringwhich，onhisthrowingdustintotheair，therecametohisrescuelegionsofangels，whowereseenandtestifiedtobymanyonthefield，——bothbyhisfriendsandbyhisenemies;andwhenIfoundthatmiraculoustestimoniesplayaleadingpartinallreligions，eveninfavorofdoctrinesthemostcruelandabsurd，Ifeltthatthe"evidences"mustbeweakwhichbroughtforwardanargumentsoillgrounded。Moreover，inmyvariedreadingIcameacrossmultitudesofmiraclesattributedtosaintsoftheRomanCatholicChurch，——miraclesforwhichmyriadsofgoodmenandwomenwerereadytolaydowntheirlivesinattestationoftheirbelief，——andifwemustacceptoneclassofmiracles，Icouldnotseewhyweshouldnotaccepttheother。
Atthecloseofthisfirstyear，forreasonsgivenelsewhere，I
brokeawayfromthislittlecollegeandwenttoYale。
CHAPTERLIX
INTHENEWENGLANDATMOSPHERE——1851—1853
AtYaleIfoundmyselfinthemidstofNewEnglandCongregationalism;butIcannotsaythatithelpedmemuchreligiously。It，indeed，broadenedmyview，sinceIwasassociatedwithprofessorsandstudentsofvariousformsofChristianity，andcametorespectthem，notforwhattheyprofessed，butforwhattheyreallywere。
TherealsoIreadunderanexcellentprofessor——mydearfriendthelatePresidentPorter——Butler’s"Analogy";but，thoughitimpressedme，itleftonmymindtheeffectofastrongpieceofspecialpleading，——ofaseriesofargumentsequallyvaluableforanyreligionwhichhadonce"gotitselfestablished。"
Here，too，arepellentinfluencewasexerciseduponmebya"revival。"Whatwascalleda"religiousinterest"begantobeshowninsundrystudentmeetings，andsoonitcameinwithafulltide。Iwasinducedtogointooneortwooftheseassemblies，andwassomewhatimpressedbythepenitenceshownandthepledgesgivenbysomeofmycollegefriends。Butwithinayearthewholethingwasdead。SeveralofthemenwhohadbeenloudestintheirexpressionsofpenitenceanddeterminationtoacceptChristianitybecameworsethanever:theywerelikelogsstrandedhighanddryafterafreshet。
Butthisreligiousrevivalincollegewasinfinitelybetterthanonewhichranitscourseintheimmediateneighborhood。JustatthecornerofthecollegegroundswasaMethodistEpiscopalchurch，theprincipaloneinNewHaven，and，aprofessionalrevivalisthavingbegunhisworkthere，thechurchwassoonthronged。Blasphemyandribaldrywerethepreacher’sgreatattractions。Oneoftheprayersattributedtohimranasfollows:
"Comedownamongus，OLord！Comestraightthroughtheroof;I’llpayfortheshingles！"Nightafternightthegallerieswerecrowdedwithstudentslaughingatthisimpiousfarce;andamongthem，oneevening，came"Charley"ChotardofMississippi。Chotardwasaveryhandsomefellow:slender，wellformed，sixfeetthreeinchestall，andinanycrowdamanofmark，likeKingSaul。Inthemidstoftheproceedings，atsomegrotesqueutteranceoftherevivalist，thestudentsinthegalleriesburstintolaughter。
Thepreacher，angrilyturninghiseyesupontheoffenders，saw，firstofall，Chotard，andcalledouttohim:"Youlightning—rodofhell，youflag—staffofdamnation，comedownfromthere！"Ofcoursenosuchgrotesquesceneswereeverallowedinthecollegechapel:theservicesthere，thoughsimple，werealwaysdignified;
yeteveninthesetheresometimesappearedincongruousfeatures。
Accordingtotraditioninmytime，anageddivine，greatlyandjustlybeloved，fromaneighboringcity，hadbeenaskedtopreachbeforethestudents。ItwasatthetimewhenthewholeEnglish—speakingworldhadbeenthrilledbythestoryofthereliefofLucknow，andthecryoftheScotchlassiewhoheardthedefiantsloganandheart—stirringpibrochoftheHighlanderscomingtothereliefofthebesiegedhadechoedacrossalltheoceans。Towardthecloseofhissermonthedearolddoctorbecameveryimpressive。HerecitedthestoryofLucknow，andthenspokeinsubstanceasfollows:"Soto—day，myyoungfriends，Isoundinyourearstheslo—o—o—brochofsalvation。"Thealliterationevidentlypleasedhim，andherepeateditwithmoreandmoreemphasisinhisperoration。Whenhesatdownanotherclergymanwhowaswithhimatthesacreddeskremindedhimofhismistake，whereuponthegoodolddoctorroseandaddressedthestudentsasfollows:"Myyoungfriends，youdoubtlessnoticedamistakeinmyfinalremarks。Isaid’slo—o—o—o—broch’;ofcourseImeant’pi—i—g—a—a—an。’"