Thenextday,therewasanothervisittoDoctors’Commons,andagreattodowithanattestinghostler,who,beinginebriated,declinedswearinganythingbutprofaneoaths,tothegreatscandalofaproctorandsurrogate。
Nextweek,thereweremorevisitstoDoctors’Commons,andtherewasavisittotheLegacyDutyOfficebesides,andthereweretreatiesenteredinto,forthedisposaloftheleaseandbusiness,andratificationsofthesame,andinventoriestobemadeout,andlunchestobetaken,anddinnerstobeeaten,andsomanyprofitablethingstobedone,andsuchamassofpapersaccumulated,thatMr。SolomonPell,andtheboy,andthebluebagtoboot,allgotsostoutthatscarcelyanybodywouldhaveknownthemforthesameman,boy,andbag,thathadloiteredaboutPortugalStreet,afewdaysbefore。
Atlengthalltheseweightymattersbeingarranged,adaywasfixedforsellingoutandtransferringthestock,andofwaitingwiththatviewuponWilkinsFlasher,Esq。,stock-broker,ofsomewhereneartheBank,whohadbeenrecommendedbyMr。SolomonPellforthepurpose。
Itwasakindoffestiveoccasion,andthepartieswereattiredaccordingly。
Mr。Weller’stopswerenewlycleaned,andhisdresswasarrangedwithpeculiarcare。themottled-facedgentlemanworeathisbutton-holeafull-sizeddahliawithseveralleaves。andthecoatsofhistwofriendswereadornedwithnosegaysoflaurelandotherevergreens。Allthreewerehabitedinstrictholidaycostume。thatistosay,theywerewrappeduptothechins,andworeasmanyclothesaspossible,whichis,andhasbeen,astage-coachman’sideaoffulldresseversincestagecoacheswereinvented。
Mr。Pellwaswaitingattheusualplaceofmeetingattheappointedtime。evenMr。Pellworeapairofglovesandacleanshirtmuchfrayedatthecollarandwristbandsbyfrequentwashings。
Aquartertotwo,saidPell,lookingattheparlourclock。IfwearewithMr。Flasherataquarterpast,weshalljusthitthebesttime。
Whatshouldyousaytoadropo’beer,gen’l’m’n?suggestedthemottled-facedman。
Andalittlebito’coldbeef,saidthesecondcoachman。
Oraoyster,addedthethird,whowasahoarsegentleman,supportedbyveryroundlegs。
Hear,hear!saidPell。tocongratulateMr。Weller,onhiscomingintopossessionofhisproperty:eh?ha!ha!
I’mquiteagreeable,gen’l’m’n,answeredMr。Weller。Sammy,pullthebell。
Samcomplied。andtheporter,coldbeef,andoystersbeingpromptlyproduced,thelunchwasdoneamplejusticeto。Whereeverybodytooksoactiveapart,itisalmostinvidioustomakeadistinction。butifoneindividualevincedgreaterpowersthananother,itwasthecoachmanwiththehoarsevoice,whotookanimperialpintofvinegarwithhisoysters,withoutbetrayingtheleastemotion。
Mr。Pell,sir,saidtheelderMr。Weller,stirringaglassofbrandyandwater,ofwhichonewasplacedbeforeeverygentlemanwhentheoystershellswereremoved,Mr。Pell,sir,itwosmyintentiontohaveproposedthefunsonthisoccasion,butSamivelhasvisperedtome——
HereMr。SamuelWeller,whohadsilentlyeatenhisoysterswithtranquilsmiles,criedHear!inaveryloudvoice——
Hasvisperedtome,resumedhisfather,thatitvouldbebettertodewotetheliquortovishin’yousuccessandprosperity,andthankin’
youforthemannerinwhichyou’vebroughtthisherebusinessthrough。
Here’syourhealth,sir。
Holdhardthere,interposedthemottled-facedgentleman,withsuddenenergy,youreyesonme,gen’l’m’n!
Sayingthis,themottled-facedgentlemanrose,asdidtheothergentlemen。
Themottled-facedgentlemanreviewedthecompany,andslowlyliftedhishand,uponwhicheverymanincludinghimofthemottledcountenancedrewalongbreath,andliftedhistumblertohislips。Inoneinstantthemottled-facedgentlemandepressedhishandagain,andeveryglasswassetdownempty。
Itisimpossibletodescribethethrillingeffectproducedbythisstrikingceremony。Atoncedignified,solemn,andimpressive,itcombinedeveryelementofgrandeur。
Well,gentlemen,saidMr。Pell,allIcansayis,thatsuchmarksofconfidencemustbeverygratifyingtoaprofessionalman。Idon’twishtosayanythingthatmightappearegotistical,gentlemen,butI’mveryglad,foryourownsakes,thatyoucametome:that’sall。Ifyouhadgonetoanylowmemberoftheprofession,it’smyfirmconviction,andIassureyouofitasafact,thatyouwouldhavefoundyourselvesinQueerStreetbeforethis。Icouldhavewishedmynoblefriendhadbeenalivetohaveseenmymanagementofthiscase。Idon’tsayitoutofpride,butIthink——however,gentlemen,Iwon’ttroubleyouwiththat。I’mgenerallytobefoundhere,gentlemen,butifI’mnothere,orovertheway,that’smyaddress。You’llfindmytermsverycheapandreasonable,andnomanattendsmoretohisclientsthanIdo,andIhopeIknowalittleofmyprofessionbesides。
Ifyouhaveanyopportunityofrecommendingmetoanyofyourfriends,gentlemen,Ishallbeverymuchobligedtoyou,andsowilltheytoo,whentheycometoknowme。Yourhealths,gentlemen。
Withthisexpressionofhisfeelings,Mr。SolomonPelllaidthreesmallwrittencardsbeforeMr。Weller’sfriends,and,lookingattheclockagain,feareditwastimetobewalking。UponthishintMr。Wellersettledthebill,and,issuingforth,theexecutor,legatee,attorney,andumpires,directedtheirstepstowardstheCity。
TheofficeofWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,oftheStockExchange,wasinafirstfloorupacourtbehindtheBankofEngland。thehouseofWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,wasatBrixton,Surrey。thehorseandstanhopeofWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,wereatanadjacentliverystable。thegroomofWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,wasonhiswaytotheWestEndtodeliversomegame。
theclerkofWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,hadgonetohisdinner。andsoWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,himself,cried,Comein,whenMr。Pellandhiscompanionsknockedatthecounting-housedoor。
Goodmorning,sir,saidPell,bowingobsequiously。Wewanttomakealittletransfer,ifyouplease。
Oh,comein,willyou?saidMr。Flasher。Sitdownaminute。I’llattendtoyoudirectly。
Thankyou,sir,saidPell,there’snohurry。Takeachair,Mr。Weller。
Mr。Wellertookachair,andSamtookabox,andtheumpirestookwhattheycouldget,andlookedatthealmanackandoneortwopaperswhichwerewaferedagainstthewall,withasmuchopen-eyedreverenceasiftheyhadbeenthefinesteffortsoftheoldmasters。
Well,I’llbetyouhalfadozenofclaretonit。come!saidWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,resumingtheconversationtowhichMr。Pell’sentrancehadcausedamomentaryinterruption。
Thiswasaddressedtoaverysmartyounggentlemanwhoworehishatonhisrightwhisker,andwasloungingoverthedesk,killingflieswitharuler。WilkinsFlasher,Esquire,wasbalancinghimselfontwolegsofanofficestool,spearingawafer-boxwithapen-knife,whichhedroppedeverynowandthenwithgreatdexterityintotheverycentreofasmallredwaferthatwasstuckoutside。Bothgentlemenhadveryopenwaistcoatsandveryrollingcollars,andverysmallboots,andverybigrings,andverylittlewatches,andverylargeguard-chains,andsymmetricalinexpressibles,andscentedpocket-handkerchiefs。
Ineverbethalfadozen,saidtheothergentleman。I’lltakeadozen。
Done,Simmery,done!saidWilkinsFlasher,Esquire。
P。P。,mind,observedtheother。
Ofcourse,repliedWilkinsFlasher,Esquire。WilkinsFlasher,Esquire,entereditinalittlebook,withagoldpencil-case,andtheothergentlemanentereditalso,inanotherlittlebookwithanothergoldpencil-case。
Iseethere’sanoticeupthismorningaboutBoffer,observedMr。
Simmery。Poordevil,he’sexpelledthehouse!
I’llbetyoutenguineastofive,hecutshisthroat,saidWilkinsFlasher,Esquire。
Done,repliedMr。Simmery。
Stop!Ibar,saidWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,thoughtfully。Perhapshemayhanghimself。
Verygood,rejoinedMr。Simmery,pullingoutthegoldpencil-caseagain。I’venoobjectiontotakeyouthatway。Say,makesawaywithhimself。
Killshimself,infact,saidWilkinsFlasher,Esquire。
Justso,repliedMr。Simmery,puttingitdown。
`Flasher——tenguineastofive,Bofferkillshimself。’Withinwhattimeshallwesay?
Afortnight?suggestedWilkinsFlasher,Esquire。
Con-foundit,no。rejoinedMr。Simmery,stoppingforaninstanttosmashaflywiththeruler。Sayaweek。
Splitthedifference,saidWilkinsFlasher,Esquire。Makeittendays。
Well。tendays,rejoinedMr。Simmery。
So,itwasentereddowninthelittlebooksthatBofferwastokillhimselfwithintendays,orWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,wastohandovertoFrankSimmery,Esquire,thesumoftenguineas。andthatifBofferdidkillhimselfwithinthattime,FrankSimmery,Esquire,wouldpaytoWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,fiveguineas,instead。
I’mverysorryhehasfailed,saidWilkinsFlasher,Esquire。Capitaldinnershegave。
Fineporthehadtoo,remarkedMr。Simmery。Wearegoingtosendourbutlertothesaleto-morrow,topickupsomeofthatsixty-four。
Thedevilyouare,saidWilkinsFlasher,Esquire。Myman’sgoingtoo。Fiveguineasmymanoutbidsyourman。
Done。
Anotherentrywasmadeinthelittlebooks,withthegoldpencil-cases。
andMr。Simmeryhaving,bythistime,killedallthefliesandtakenallthebets,strolledawaytotheStockExchangetoseewhatwasgoingforward。
WilkinsFlasher,Esquire,nowcondescendedtoreceiveMr。SolomonPell’sinstructions,andhavingfilledupsomeprintedforms,requestedthepartytofollowhimtotheBank:whichtheydid:Mr。Wellerandhisthreefriendsstaringatalltheybeheldinunboundedastonishment,andSamencounteringeverythingwithacoolnesswhichnothingcoulddisturb。
Crossingacourt-yardwhichwasallnoiseandbustle。andpassingacoupleofporterswhoseemeddressedtomatchtheredfireenginewhichwaswheeledawayintoacorner。theypassedintoanofficewheretheirbusinesswastobetransacted,andwherePellandMr。Flasherleftthemstandingforafewmoments,whiletheywentup-stairsintotheWillOffice。
Wotplaceisthishere?whisperedthemottled-facedgentlemantotheelderMr。Weller。
Counsel’sOffice,repliedtheexecutorinawhisper。
Wotarethemgen’l’menasettin’behindthecounters?askedthehoarsecoachman。
Reducedcounsels,Is’pose,repliedMr。Weller。Ain’ttheythereducedcounsels,Samivel?
Wy,youdon’tsupposethereducedcounselsisalive,doyou?inquiredSam,withsomedisdain。
HowshouldIknow?retortedMr。Weller。Ithoughttheylookedwerylikeit。Wotarethey,then?
Clerks,repliedSam。
Wotaretheyallaeatin’hamsangwidgesfor?inquiredhisfather。
’Cosit’sintheirdooty,Isuppose,repliedSam,it’saparto’
thesystem。they’realvaysadoin’ithere,alldaylong!
Mr。Wellerandhisfriendshadscarcelyhadamomenttoreflectuponthissingularregulationasconnectedwiththemonetarysystemofthecountry,whentheywererejoinedbyPellandWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,wholedthemtoapartofthecounterabovewhichwasaroundblackboardwithalargeW。onit。
Wot’sthatfor,sir?inquiredMr。Weller,directingPell’sattentiontothetargetinquestion。
Thefirstletterofthenameofthedeceased,repliedPell。
Isay,saidMr。Weller,turningroundtotheumpires。There’ssomethin’
wronghere。We’sourletter——thiswon’tdo。
Therefereesatoncegaveitastheirdecidedopinionthatthebusinesscouldnotbelegallyproceededwith,undertheletterW,andinallprobabilityitwouldhavestoodoverforonedayatleast,haditnotbeenfortheprompt,though,atfirstsight,undutifulbehaviourofSam,who,seizinghisfatherbytheskirtofthecoat,draggedhimtothecounter,andpinnedhimthere,untilhehadaffixedhissignaturetoacoupleofinstruments。
whichfromMr。Weller’shabitofprinting,wasaworkofsomuchlabourandtime,thattheofficiatingclerkpeeledandatethreeRibstonpippinswhileitwasperforming。
AstheelderMr。Wellerinsistedonsellingouthisportionforthwith,theyproceededfromtheBanktothegateoftheStockExchange,towhichWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,afterashortabsence,returnedwithachequeonSmith,Payne,andSmith,forfivehundredandthirtypounds。thatbeingthesumofmoneytowhichMr。Welleratthemarketpriceoftheday,wasentitled,inconsiderationofthebalanceofthesecondMrs。Weller’sfundedsavings。Sam’stwohundredpoundsstoodtransferredtohisname,andWilkinsFlasher,Esquire,havingbeenpaidhiscommission,droppedthemoneycarelesslyintohiscoatpocket,andloungedbacktohisoffice。
Mr。Wellerwasatfirstobstinatelydeterminedoncashingthechequeinnothingbutsovereigns:butitbeingrepresentedbytheumpiresthatbysodoinghemustincurtheexpenseofasmallsacktocarrythemhomein,heconsentedtoreceivetheamountinfive-poundnotes。
Myson,saidMr。Weller,astheycameoutofthebanking-house,mysonandmehasaweryparticularengagementthisarternoon,andIshouldliketohavethisherebis’nesssettledoutofhand,solet’sjestgostraightavaysomeveres,verevecanhordittheaccounts。
Aquietroomwassoonfound,andtheaccountswereproducedandaudited。
Mr。Pell’sbillwastaxedbySam,andsomechargesweredisallowedbytheumpires。but,notwithstandingMr。Pell’sdeclaration,accompaniedwithmanysolemnasseverationsthattheywerereallytooharduponhim,itwasbyverymanydegreesthebestprofessionaljobhehadeverhad,andoneonwhichheboarded,lodged,andwashed,forsixmonthsafterwards。
Theumpireshavingpartakenofadram,shookhandsanddeparted,astheyhadtodriveoutoftownthatnight。Mr。SolomonPell,findingthatnothingmorewasgoingforward,eitherintheeatingordrinkingway,tookafriendlyleave,andSamandhisfatherwereleftalone。
There!saidMr。Weller,thrustinghispocket-bookinhissidepocket。
Viththebillsforthelease,andthat,there’selevenhundredandeightypoundhere。Now,Samivel,myboy,turnthehorses’headstotheGeorgeandWulter!
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers:Chapter56[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERLVIANIMPORTANTCONFERENCETAKESPLACEBETWEENMR。PICKWICK
ANDSAMUELWELLER,ATWHICHHISPARENTASSISTS。ANOLDGENTLEMANINASNUFF-COLOURED
SUITARRIVESUNEXPECTEDLY
MR。PICKWICKwassittingalone,musingovermanythings,andthinkingamongotherconsiderationshowhecouldbestprovidefortheyoungcouplewhosepresentunsettledconditionwasmatterofconstantregretandanxietytohim,whenMarysteppedlightlyintotheroom,and,advancingtothetable,said,ratherhastily:
Oh,ifyouplease,sir,Samuelisdown-stairs,andhesaysmayhisfatherseeyou?
Surely,repliedMr。Pickwick。
Thankyou,sir,saidMary,trippingtowardsthedooragain。
Samhasnotbeenherelong,hashe?inquiredMr。Pickwick。
Oh,no,sir,repliedMaryeagerly。Hehasonlyjustcomehome。Heisnotgoingtoaskyouforanymoreleave,sir,hesays。
Marymighthavebeenconsciousthatshehadcommunicatedthislastintelligencewithmorewarmththanseemedactuallynecessary,orshemighthaveobservedthegood-humouredsmilewithwhichMr。Pickwickregardedher,whenshehadfinishedspeaking。Shecertainlyhelddownherhead,andexaminedthecornerofaverysmartlittleapron,withmoreclosenessthanthereappearedanyabsoluteoccasionfor。
Tellthemtheycancomeupatonce,byallmeans,saidMr。Pickwick。
Mary,apparentlymuchrelieved,hurriedawaywithhermessage。
Mr。Pickwicktooktwoorthreeturnsupanddowntheroom。andrubbinghischinwithhislefthandashedidso,appearedlostinthought。
Well,well,saidMr。Pickwickatlength,inakindbutsomewhatmelancholytone,itisthebestwayinwhichIcouldrewardhimforhisattachmentandfidelity。letitbeso,inHeaven’sname。Itisthefateofalonelyoldman,thatthoseabouthimshouldformnewanddifferentattachmentsandleavehim。Ihavenorighttoexpectthatitshouldbeotherwisewithme。No,no,addedMr。Pickwickmorecheerfully,itwouldbeselfishandungrateful。Ioughttobehappytohaveanopportunityofprovidingforhimsowell。Iam。OfcourseIam。
Mr。Pickwickhadbeensoabsorbedinthesereflections,thataknockatthedoorwasthreeorfourtimesrepeatedbeforeheheardit。Hastilyseatinghimself,andcallinguphisaccustomedpleasantlooks,hegavetherequiredpermission,andSamWellerentered,followedbyhisfather。
Gladtoseeyoubackagain,Sam,saidMr。Pickwick。Howdoyoudo,Mr。Weller?
Weryhearty,thank’ee,sir,repliedthewidower。hopeIseeyouwell,sir。
Quite,Ithankyou,repliedMr。Pickwick。
Iwantedtohavealittlebito’conwersationwithyou,sir,saidMr。Weller,ifyoucouldsparemefiveminitsorso,sir。
Certainly,repliedMr。Pickwick。Sam,giveyourfatherachair。
Thank’ee,Samivel,I’vegotacheerhere,saidMr。Weller,bringingoneforwardashespoke。uncommonfinedayit’sbeen,sir,addedtheoldgentleman,layinghishatonthefloorashesathimselfdown。
Remarkablysoindeed,repliedMr。Pickwick。Veryseasonable。
SeasonablestveatherIeversee,sir,rejoinedMr。Weller。Here,theoldgentlemanwasseizedwithaviolentfitofcoughing,which,beingterminated,henoddedhisheadandwinkedandmadeseveralsupplicatoryandthreateninggesturestohisson,allofwhichSamWellersteadilyabstainedfromseeing。
Mr。Pickwick,perceivingthattherewassomeembarrassmentontheoldgentleman’spart,affectedtobeengagedincuttingtheleavesofabookthatlaybesidehim,andwaitedpatientlyuntilMr。Wellershouldarriveattheobjectofhisvisit。
Ineverseesichaaggerawatin’boyasyouare,Samivel,saidMr。
Weller,lookingindignantlyashisson。neverinallmyborndays。
Whatishedoing,Mr。Weller?inquiredMr。Pickwick。
Hevon’tbegin,sir,rejoinedMr。Weller。heknowsIain’tekaltoex-pressin’myselfventhere’sanythin’particklertobedone,andyethe’llstandandseemeasettin’heretakin’upyourwalabletime,andmakin’areg’larspectacleo’myself,raytherthanhelpmeoutvithasyllable。
Itain’tfilialconduct,Samivel,saidMr。Weller,wipinghisforehead。
weryfarfromit。
Yousaidyou’dspeak,repliedSam。howshouldIknowyouwosdoneupatthewerybeginnin’?
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