Howlateitwas!Hesatup,andhavingsippedsometea,turnedoverhisletters。OneofthemwasfromLordHenry,andhadbeenbroughtbyhandthatmorning。Hehesitatedforamoment,andthenputitaside。
Theothersheopenedlistlessly。Theycontainedtheusualcollectionofcards,invitationstodinner,ticketsforprivateviews,programmesofcharityconcerts,andthelikethatareshoweredonfashionableyoungmeneverymorningduringtheseason。TherewasaratherheavybillforachasedsilverLouis-Quinzetoilet-setthathehadnotyethadthecouragetosendontohisguardians,whowereextremelyold-fashionedpeopleanddidnotrealizethatweliveinanagewhenunnecessarythingsareouronlynecessities。
andtherewereseveralverycourteouslywordedcommunicationsfromJermynStreetmoney-lendersofferingtoadvanceanysumofmoneyatamoment’snoticeandatthemostreasonableratesofinterest。
Afterabouttenminuteshegotup,andthrowingonanelaboratedressing-gownofsilk-embroideredcashmerewool,passedintotheonyx-pavedbathroom。Thecoolwaterrefreshedhimafterhislongsleep。Heseemedtohaveforgottenallthathehadgonethrough。Adimsenseofhavingtakenpartinsomestrangetragedycametohimonceortwice,buttherewastheunrealityofadreamaboutit。
Assoonashewasdressed,hewentintothelibraryandsatdowntoalightFrenchbreakfastthathadbeenlaidoutforhimonasmallroundtableclosetotheopenwindow。Itwasanexquisiteday。Thewarmairseemedladenwithspices。Abeeflewinandbuzzedroundtheblue-dragonbowlthat,filledwithsulphur-yellowroses,stoodbeforehim。Hefeltperfectlyhappy。
Suddenlyhiseyefellonthescreenthathehadplacedinfrontoftheportrait,andhestarted。
ToocoldforMonsieur?askedhisvalet,puttinganomeletteonthetable。Ishutthewindow?
Dorianshookhishead。Iamnotcold,hemurmured。
Wasitalltrue?Hadtheportraitreallychanged?Orhaditbeensimplyhisownimaginationthathadmadehimseealookofevilwheretherehadbeenalookofjoy?Surelyapaintedcanvascouldnotalter?Thethingwasabsurd。ItwouldserveasataletotellBasilsomeday。Itwouldmakehimsmile。
And,yet,howvividwashisrecollectionofthewholething!Firstinthedimtwilight,andtheninthebrightdawn,hehadseenthetouchofcrueltyroundthewarpedlips。Healmostdreadedhisvaletleavingtheroom。Heknewthatwhenhewasalonehewouldhavetoexaminetheportrait。
Hewasafraidofcertainty。Whenthecoffeeandcigaretteshadbeenbroughtandthemanturnedtogo,hefeltawilddesiretotellhimtoremain。
Asthedoorwasclosingbehindhim,hecalledhimback。Themanstoodwaitingforhisorders。Dorianlookedathimforamoment。Iamnotathometoanyone,Victor,hesaidwithasigh。Themanbowedandretired。
Thenherosefromthetable,litacigarette,andflunghimselfdownonaluxuriouslycushionedcouchthatstoodfacingthescreen。Thescreenwasanoldone,ofgiltSpanishleather,stampedandwroughtwitharatherfloridLouis-Quatorzepattern。Hescanneditcuriously,wonderingifeverbeforeithadconcealedthesecretofaman’slife。
Shouldhemoveitaside,afterall?Whynotletitstaythere?
Whatwastheuseofknowing。?Ifthethingwastrue,itwasterrible。Ifitwasnottrue,whytroubleaboutit?Butwhatif,bysomefateordeadlierchance,eyesotherthanhisspiedbehindandsawthehorriblechange?WhatshouldhedoifBasilHallwardcameandaskedtolookathisownpicture?
Basilwouldbesuretodothat。No。thethinghadtobeexamined,andatonce。Anythingwouldbebetterthanthisdreadfulstateofdoubt。
Hegotupandlockedbothdoors。Atleasthewouldbealonewhenhelookeduponthemaskofhisshame。Thenhedrewthescreenasideandsawhimselffacetoface。Itwasperfectlytrue。Theportraithadaltered。
Asheoftenrememberedafterwards,andalwayswithnosmallwonder,hefoundhimselfatfirstgazingattheportraitwithafeelingofalmostscientificinterest。Thatsuchachangeshouldhavetakenplacewasincredibletohim。Andyetitwasafact。Wastheresomesubtleaffinitybetweenthechemicalatomsthatshapedthemselvesintoformandcolouronthecanvasandthesoulthatwaswithinhim?Coulditbethatwhatthatsoulthought,theyrealized?——thatwhatitdreamed,theymadetrue?Orwastheresomeother,moreterriblereason?Heshuddered,andfeltafraid,and,goingbacktothecouch,laythere,gazingatthepictureinsickenedhorror。
Onething,however,hefeltthatithaddoneforhim。Ithadmadehimconscioushowunjust,howcruel,hehadbeentoSibylVane。Itwasnottoolatetomakereparationforthat。Shecouldstillbehiswife。
Hisunrealandselfishlovewouldyieldtosomehigherinfluence,wouldbetransformedintosomenoblerpassion,andtheportraitthatBasilHallwardhadpaintedofhimwouldbeaguidetohimthroughlife,wouldbetohimwhatholinessistosome,andconsciencetoothers,andthefearofGodtousall。Therewereopiatesforremorse,drugsthatcouldlullthemoralsensetosleep。Butherewasavisiblesymbolofthedegradationofsin。
Herewasanever-presentsignoftheruinmenbroughtupontheirsouls。
Threeo’clockstruck,andfour,andthehalf-hourrangitsdoublechime,butDorianGraydidnotstir。Hewastryingtogatherupthescarletthreadsoflifeandtoweavethemintoapattern。tofindhiswaythroughthesanguinelabyrinthofpassionthroughwhichhewaswandering。Hedidnotknowwhattodo,orwhattothink。Finally,hewentovertothetableandwroteapassionatelettertothegirlhehadloved,imploringherforgivenessandaccusinghimselfofmadness。Hecoveredpageafterpagewithwildwordsofsorrowandwilderwordsofpain。Thereisaluxuryinself-reproach。
Whenweblameourselves,wefeelthatnooneelsehasarighttoblameus。Itistheconfession,notthepriest,thatgivesusabsolution。WhenDorianhadfinishedtheletter,hefeltthathehadbeenforgiven。
Suddenlytherecameaknocktothedoor,andheheardLordHenry’svoiceoutside。Mydearboy,Imustseeyou。Letmeinatonce。Ican’tbearyourshuttingyourselfuplikethis。
Hemadenoansweratfirst,butremainedquitestill。Theknockingstillcontinuedandgrewlouder。Yes,itwasbettertoletLordHenryin,andtoexplaintohimthenewlifehewasgoingtolead,toquarrelwithhimifitbecamenecessarytoquarrel,topartifpartingwasinevitable。
Hejumpedup,drewthescreenhastilyacrossthepicture,andunlockedthedoor。
Iamsosorryforitall,Dorian,saidLordHenryasheentered。
Butyoumustnotthinktoomuchaboutit。
DoyoumeanaboutSibylVane?askedthelad。
Yes,ofcourse,answeredLordHenry,sinkingintoachairandslowlypullingoffhisyellowgloves。Itisdreadful,fromonepointofview,butitwasnotyourfault。Tellme,didyougobehindandseeher,aftertheplaywasover?
Yes。
Ifeltsureyouhad。Didyoumakeascenewithher?
Iwasbrutal,Harry——perfectlybrutal。Butitisallrightnow。
Iamnotsorryforanythingthathashappened。Ithastaughtmetoknowmyselfbetter。
Ah,Dorian,Iamsogladyoutakeitinthatway!IwasafraidIwouldfindyouplungedinremorseandtearingthatnicecurlyhairofyours。
Ihavegotthroughallthat,saidDorian,shakinghisheadandsmiling。Iamperfectlyhappynow。Iknowwhatconscienceis,tobeginwith。Itisnotwhatyoutoldmeitwas。Itisthedivinestthinginus。
Don’tsneeratit,Harry,anymore——atleastnotbeforeme。Iwanttobegood。Ican’tbeartheideaofmysoulbeinghideous。
Averycharmingartisticbasisforethics,Dorian!Icongratulateyouonit。Buthowareyougoingtobegin?
BymarryingSibylVane。
MarryingSibylVane!criedLordHenry,standingupandlookingathiminperplexedamazement。But,mydearDorian——
Yes,Harry,Iknowwhatyouaregoingtosay。Somethingdreadfulaboutmarriage。Don’tsayit。Don’teversaythingsofthatkindtomeagain。TwodaysagoIaskedSibyltomarryme。Iamnotgoingtobreakmywordtoher。Sheistobemywife。
Yourwife!Dorian!……Didn’tyougetmyletter?Iwrotetoyouthismorning,andsentthenotedownbymyownman。
Yourletter?Oh,yes,Iremember。Ihavenotreadityet,Harry。
IwasafraidtheremightbesomethinginitthatIwouldn’tlike。Youcutlifetopieceswithyourepigrams。
Youknownothingthen?
Whatdoyoumean?
LordHenrywalkedacrosstheroom,andsittingdownbyDorianGray,tookbothhishandsinhisownandheldthemtightly。Dorian,hesaid,myletter——don’tbefrightened——wastotellyouthatSibylVaneisdead。
Acryofpainbrokefromthelad’slips,andheleapedtohisfeet,tearinghishandsawayfromLordHenry’sgrasp。Dead!Sibyldead!
Itisnottrue!Itisahorriblelie!Howdareyousayit?
Itisquitetrue,Dorian,saidLordHenry,gravely。Itisinallthemorningpapers。IwrotedowntoyoutoaskyounottoseeanyonetillIcame。Therewillhavetobeaninquest,ofcourse,andyoumustnotbemixedupinit。ThingslikethatmakeamanfashionableinParis。
ButinLondonpeoplearesoprejudiced。Here,oneshouldnevermakeone’sdé。butwithascandal。Oneshouldreservethattogiveaninteresttoone’soldage。Isupposetheydon’tknowyournameatthetheatre?
Iftheydon’t,itisallright。Didanyoneseeyougoingroundtoherroom?Thatisanimportantpoint。
Doriandidnotanswerforafewmoments。Hewasdazedwithhorror。
Finallyhestammered,inastifledvoice,Harry,didyousayaninquest?
Whatdidyoumeanbythat?DidSibyl——?Oh,Harry,Ican’tbearit!Butbequick。Tellmeeverythingatonce。
Ihavenodoubtitwasnotanaccident,Dorian,thoughitmustbeputinthatwaytothepublic。Itseemsthatasshewasleavingthetheatrewithhermother,abouthalf-pasttwelveorso,shesaidshehadforgottensomethingupstairs。Theywaitedsometimeforher,butshedidnotcomedownagain。Theyultimatelyfoundherlyingdeadonthefloorofherdressing-room。Shehadswallowedsomethingbymistake,somedreadfulthingtheyuseattheatres。Idon’tknowwhatitwas,butithadeitherprussicacidorwhiteleadinit。Ishouldfancyitwasprussicacid,assheseemstohavediedinstantaneously。
Harry,Harry,itisterrible!criedthelad。
Yes。itisverytragic,ofcourse,butyoumustnotgetyourselfmixedupinit。IseebyTheStandardthatshewasseventeen。I
shouldhavethoughtshewasalmostyoungerthanthat。Shelookedsuchachild,andseemedtoknowsolittleaboutacting。Dorian,youmustn’tletthisthinggetonyournerves。Youmustcomeanddinewithme,andafterwardswewilllookinattheopera。ItisaPattinight,andeverybodywillbethere。Youcancometomysister’sbox。Shehasgotsomesmartwomenwithher。
SoIhavemurderedSibylVane,saidDorianGray,halftohimself,murderedherassurelyasifIhadcutherlittlethroatwithaknife。
Yettherosesarenotlesslovelyforallthat。Thebirdssingjustashappilyinmygarden。Andto-nightIamtodinewithyou,andthengoontotheopera,andsupsomewhere,Isuppose,afterwards。Howextraordinarilydramaticlifeis!IfIhadreadallthisinabook,Harry,IthinkIwouldhaveweptoverit。Somehow,nowthatithashappenedactually,andtome,itseemsfartoowonderfulfortears。Hereisthefirstpassionatelove-letterIhaveeverwritteninmylife。Strange,thatmyfirstpassionatelove-lettershouldhavebeenaddressedtoadeadgirl。Cantheyfeel,Iwonder,thosewhitesilentpeoplewecallthedead?Sibyl!Canshefeel,orknow,orlisten?Oh,Harry,howIlovedheronce!Itseemsyearsagotomenow。
Shewaseverythingtome。Thencamethatdreadfulnight——wasitreallyonlylastnight?——whensheplayedsobadly,andmyheartalmostbroke。
Sheexplaineditalltome。Itwasterriblypathetic。ButIwasnotmovedabit。Ithoughthershallow。Suddenlysomethinghappenedthatmademeafraid。Ican’ttellyouwhatitwas,butitwasterrible。IsaidIwouldgobacktoher。IfeltIhaddonewrong。Andnowsheisdead。MyGod!MyGod!Harry,whatshallIdo?Youdon’tknowthedangerIamin,andthereisnothingtokeepmestraight。Shewouldhavedonethatforme。Shehadnorighttokillherself。Itwasselfishofher。
MydearDorian,answeredLordHenry,takingacigarettefromhiscaseandproducingagold-lattenmatchbox,theonlywayawomancaneverreformamanisbyboringhimsocompletelythathelosesallpossibleinterestinlife。Ifyouhadmarriedthisgirl,youwouldhavebeenwretched。
Ofcourse,youwouldhavetreatedherkindly。Onecanalwaysbekindtopeopleaboutwhomonecaresnothing。Butshewouldhavesoonfoundoutthatyouwereabsolutelyindifferenttoher。Andwhenawomanfindsthatoutaboutherhusband,sheeitherbecomesdreadfullydowdy,orwearsverysmartbonnetsthatsomeotherwoman’shusbandhastopayfor。Isaynothingaboutthesocialmistake,whichwouldhavebeenabject——which,ofcourse,Iwouldnothaveallowed——butIassureyouthatinanycasethewholethingwouldhavebeenanabsolutefailure。
Isupposeitwould,mutteredthelad,walkingupanddowntheroomandlookinghorriblypale。ButIthoughtitwasmyduty。Itisnotmyfaultthatthisterribletragedyhaspreventedmydoingwhatwasright。
Irememberyoursayingoncethatthereisafatalityaboutgoodresolutions——thattheyarealwaysmadetoolate。Minecertainlywere。Goodresolutionsareuselessattemptstointerferewithscientificlaws。Theiroriginispurevanity。Theirresultisabsolutelynil。Theygiveus,nowandthen,someofthoseluxurioussterileemotionsthathaveacertaincharmfortheweak。Thatisallthatcanbesaidforthem。Theyaresimplychequesthatmendrawonabankwheretheyhavenoaccount。
Harry,criedDorianGray,comingoverandsittingdownbesidehim,whyisitthatIcannotfeelthistragedyasmuchasIwantto?I
don’tthinkIamheartless。Doyou?
Youhavedonetoomanyfoolishthingsduringthelastfortnighttobeentitledtogiveyourselfthatname,Dorian,answeredLordHenrywithhissweetmelancholysmile。
Theladfrowned。Idon’tlikethatexplanation,Harry,herejoined,butIamgladyoudon’tthinkIamheartless。Iamnothingofthekind。
IknowIamnot。AndyetImustadmitthatthisthingthathashappeneddoesnotaffectmeasitshould。Itseemstometobesimplylikeawonderfulendingtoawonderfulplay。IthasalltheterriblebeautyofaGreektragedy,atragedyinwhichItookagreatpart,butbywhichIhavenotbeenwounded。
Itisaninterestingquestion,saidLordHenry,whofoundanexquisitepleasureinplayingonthelad’sunconsciousegotism,anextremelyinterestingquestion。Ifancythatthetrueexplanationisthis:Itoftenhappensthattherealtragediesoflifeoccurinsuchaninartisticmannerthattheyhurtusbytheircrudeviolence,theirabsoluteincoherence,theirabsurdwantofmeaning,theirentirelackofstyle。Theyaffectusjustasvulgarityaffectsus。Theygiveusanimpressionofsheerbruteforce,andwerevoltagainstthat。Sometimes,however,atragedythatpossessesartisticelementsofbeautycrossesourlives。Iftheseelementsofbeautyarereal,thewholethingsimplyappealstooursenseofdramaticeffect。
Suddenlywefindthatwearenolongertheactors,butthespectatorsoftheplay。Orratherweareboth。Wewatchourselves,andthemerewonderofthespectacleenthrallsus。Inthepresentcase,whatisitthathasreallyhappened?Someonehaskilledherselfforloveofyou。IwishthatIhadeverhadsuchanexperience。Itwouldhavemademeinlovewithlovefortherestofmylife。Thepeoplewhohaveadoredme——therehavenotbeenverymany,buttherehavebeensome——havealwaysinsistedonlivingon,longafterIhadceasedtocareforthem,ortheytocareforme。Theyhavebecomestoutandtedious,andwhenImeetthem,theygoinatonceforreminiscences。Thatawfulmemoryofwoman!Whatafearfulthingitis!Andwhatanutterintellectualstagnationitreveals!Oneshouldabsorbthecolouroflife,butoneshouldneverrememberitsdetails。Detailsarealwaysvulgar。
Imustsowpoppiesinmygarden,sighedDorian。
Thereisnonecessity,rejoinedhiscompanion。Lifehasalwayspoppiesinherhands。Ofcourse,nowandthenthingslinger。Ionceworenothingbutvioletsallthroughoneseason,asaformofartisticmourningforaromancethatwouldnotdie。Ultimately,however,itdiddie。Iforgetwhatkilledit。Ithinkitwasherproposingtosacrificethewholeworldforme。Thatisalwaysadreadfulmoment。Itfillsonewiththeterrorofeternity。Well——wouldyoubelieveit?——aweekago,atLadyHampshire’s,Ifoundmyselfseatedatdinnernexttheladyinquestion,andsheinsistedongoingoverthewholethingagain,anddiggingupthepast,andrakingupthefuture。Ihadburiedmyromanceinabedofasphodel。ShedraggeditoutagainandassuredmethatIhadspoiledherlife。Iamboundtostatethatsheateanenormousdinner,soIdidnotfeelanyanxiety。Butwhatalackoftastesheshowed!Theonecharmofthepastisthatitisthepast。Butwomenneverknowwhenthecurtainhasfallen。Theyalwayswantasixthact,andassoonastheinterestoftheplayisentirelyover,theyproposetocontinueit。Iftheywereallowedtheirownway,everycomedywouldhaveatragicending,andeverytragedywouldculminateinafarce。Theyarecharminglyartificial,buttheyhavenosenseofart。
YouaremorefortunatethanIam。Iassureyou,Dorian,thatnotoneofthewomenIhaveknownwouldhavedoneformewhatSibylVanedidforyou。
Ordinarywomenalwaysconsolethemselves。Someofthemdoitbygoinginforsentimentalcolours。Nevertrustawomanwhowearsmauve,whateverheragemaybe,orawomanoverthirty-fivewhoisfondofpinkribbons。
Italwaysmeansthattheyhaveahistory。Othersfindagreatconsolationinsuddenlydiscoveringthegoodqualitiesoftheirhusbands。Theyflaunttheirconjugalfelicityinone’sface,asifitwerethemostfascinatingofsins。Religionconsolessome。Itsmysterieshaveallthecharmofaflirtation,awomanoncetoldme,andIcanquiteunderstandit。Besides,nothingmakesonesovainasbeingtoldthatoneisasinner。Consciencemakesegotistsofusall。Yes。thereisreallynoendtotheconsolationsthatwomenfindinmodernlife。Indeed,Ihavenotmentionedthemostimportantone。
Whatisthat,Harry?saidtheladlistlessly。
Oh,theobviousconsolation。Takingsomeoneelse’sadmirerwhenonelosesone’sown。Ingoodsocietythatalwayswhitewashesawoman。Butreally,Dorian,howdifferentSibylVanemusthavebeenfromallthewomenonemeets!Thereissomethingtomequitebeautifulaboutherdeath。I
amgladIamlivinginacenturywhensuchwondershappen。Theymakeonebelieveintherealityofthethingsweallplaywith,suchasromance,passion,andlove。
Iwasterriblycrueltoher。Youforgetthat。
Iamafraidthatwomenappreciatecruelty,downrightcruelty,morethananythingelse。Theyhavewonderfullyprimitiveinstincts。Wehaveemancipatedthem,buttheyremainslaveslookingfortheirmasters,allthesame。Theylovebeingdominated。Iamsureyouweresplendid。I
haveneverseenyoureallyandabsolutelyangry,butIcanfancyhowdelightfulyoulooked。And,afterall,yousaidsomethingtomethedaybeforeyesterdaythatseemedtomeatthetimetobemerelyfanciful,butthatIseenowwasabsolutelytrue,anditholdsthekeytoeverything。
Whatwasthat,Harry?
YousaidtomethatSibylVanerepresentedtoyoualltheheroinesofromance——thatshewasDesdemonaonenight,andOpheliatheother。thatifshediedasJuliet,shecametolifeasImogen。
Shewillnevercometolifeagainnow,mutteredthelad,buryinghisfaceinhishands。
No,shewillnevercometolife。Shehasplayedherlastpart。
Butyoumustthinkofthatlonelydeathinthetawdrydressing-roomsimplyasastrangeluridfragmentfromsomeJacobeantragedy,asawonderfulscenefromWebster,orFord,orCyrilTourneur。Thegirlneverreallylived,andsoshehasneverreallydied。Toyouatleastshewasalwaysadream,aphantomthatflittedthroughShakespeare’splaysandleftthemlovelierforitspresence,areedthroughwhichShakespeare’smusicsoundedricherandmorefullofjoy。Themomentshetouchedactuallife,shemarredit,anditmarredher,andsoshepassedaway。MournforOphelia,ifyoulike。
PutashesonyourheadbecauseCordeliawasstrangled。CryoutagainstHeavenbecausethedaughterofBrabantiodied。Butdon’twasteyourtearsoverSibylVane。Shewaslessrealthantheyare。
Therewasasilence。Theeveningdarkenedintheroom。Noiselessly,andwithsilverfeet,theshadowscreptinfromthegarden。Thecoloursfadedwearilyoutofthings。
AftersometimeDorianGraylookedup。Youhaveexplainedmetomyself,Harry,hemurmuredwithsomethingofasighofrelief。Ifeltallthatyouhavesaid,butsomehowIwasafraidofit,andIcouldnotexpressittomyself。Howwellyouknowme!Butwewillnottalkagainofwhathashappened。Ithasbeenamarvellousexperience。Thatisall。
Iwonderiflifehasstillinstoreformeanythingasmarvellous。
Lifehaseverythinginstoreforyou,Dorian。Thereisnothingthatyou,withyourextraordinarygoodlooks,willnotbeabletodo。
Butsuppose,Harry,Ibecamehaggard,andold,andwrinkled?
Whatthen?
Ah,then,saidLordHenry,risingtogo,then,mydearDorian,youwouldhavetofightforyourvictories。Asitis,theyarebroughttoyou。No,youmustkeepyourgoodlooks。Weliveinanagethatreadstoomuchtobewise,andthatthinkstoomuchtobebeautiful。Wecannotspareyou。Andnowyouhadbetterdressanddrivedowntotheclub。Weareratherlate,asitis。
IthinkIshalljoinyouattheopera,Harry。Ifeeltootiredtoeatanything。Whatisthenumberofyoursister’sbox?
Twenty-seven,Ibelieve。Itisonthegrandtier。Youwillseehernameonthedoor。ButIamsorryyouwon’tcomeanddine。
Idon’tfeeluptoit,saidDorianlistlessly。ButIamawfullyobligedtoyouforallthatyouhavesaidtome。Youarecertainlymybestfriend。Noonehaseverunderstoodmeasyouhave。
Weareonlyatthebeginningofourfriendship,Dorian,answeredLordHenry,shakinghimbythehand。Good-bye。Ishallseeyoubeforenine-thirty,Ihope。Remember,Pattiissinging。
Asheclosedthedoorbehindhim,DorianGraytouchedthebell,andinafewminutesVictorappearedwiththelampsanddrewtheblindsdown。Hewaitedimpatientlyforhimtogo。Themanseemedtotakeaninterminabletimeovereverything。
Assoonashehadleft,herushedtothescreenanddrewitback。
No。therewasnofurtherchangeinthepicture。IthadreceivedthenewsofSibylVane’sdeathbeforehehadknownofithimself。Itwasconsciousoftheeventsoflifeastheyoccurred。Theviciouscrueltythatmarredthefinelinesofthemouthhad,nodoubt,appearedattheverymomentthatthegirlhaddrunkthepoison,whateveritwas。Orwasitindifferenttoresults?Diditmerelytakecognizanceofwhatpassedwithinthesoul?
Hewondered,andhopedthatsomedayhewouldseethechangetakingplacebeforehisveryeyes,shudderingashehopedit。
PoorSibyl!Whataromanceithadallbeen!Shehadoftenmimickeddeathonthestage。ThenDeathhimselfhadtouchedherandtakenherwithhim。Howhadsheplayedthatdreadfullastscene?Hadshecursedhim,asshedied?No。shehaddiedforloveofhim,andlovewouldalwaysbeasacramenttohimnow。Shehadatonedforeverythingbythesacrificeshehadmadeofherlife。Hewouldnotthinkanymoreofwhatshehadmadehimgothrough,onthathorriblenightatthetheatre。Whenhethoughtofher,itwouldbeasawonderfultragicfiguresentontotheworld’sstagetoshowthesupremerealityoflove。Awonderfultragicfigure?Tearscametohiseyesasherememberedherchildlikelook,andwinsomefancifulways,andshytremulousgrace。Hebrushedthemawayhastilyandlookedagainatthepicture。
Hefeltthatthetimehadreallycomeformakinghischoice。Orhadhischoicealreadybeenmade?Yes,lifehaddecidedthatforhim——life,andhisowninfinitecuriosityaboutlife。Eternalyouth,infinitepassion,pleasuressubtleandsecret,wildjoysandwildersins——hewastohaveallthesethings。Theportraitwastobeartheburdenofhisshame:thatwasall。
Afeelingofpaincreptoverhimashethoughtofthedesecrationthatwasinstoreforthefairfaceonthecanvas。Once,inboyishmockeryofNarcissus,hehadkissed,orfeignedtokiss,thosepaintedlipsthatnowsmiledsocruellyathim。Morningaftermorninghehadsatbeforetheportraitwonderingatitsbeauty,almostenamouredofit,asitseemedtohimattimes。Wasittoalternowwitheverymoodtowhichheyielded?
Wasittobecomeamonstrousandloathsomething,tobehiddenawayinalockedroom,tobeshutoutfromthesunlightthathadsooftentouchedtobrightergoldthewavingwonderofitshair?Thepityofit!thepityofit!
Foramoment,hethoughtofprayingthatthehorriblesympathythatexistedbetweenhimandthepicturemightcease。Ithadchangedinanswertoaprayer。perhapsinanswertoaprayeritmightremainunchanged。
Andyet,who,thatknewanythingaboutlife,wouldsurrenderthechanceofremainingalwaysyoung,howeverfantasticthatchancemightbe,orwithwhatfatefulconsequencesitmightbefraught?Besides,wasitreallyunderhiscontrol?Haditindeedbeenprayerthathadproducedthesubstitution?
Mighttherenotbesomecuriousscientificreasonforitall?Ifthoughtcouldexerciseitsinfluenceuponalivingorganism,mightnotthoughtexerciseaninfluenceupondeadandinorganicthings?Nay,withoutthoughtorconsciousdesire,mightnotthingsexternaltoourselvesvibrateinunisonwithourmoodsandpassions,atomcallingtoatominsecretloveorstrangeaffinity?Butthereasonwasofnoimportance。Hewouldneveragaintemptbyaprayeranyterriblepower。Ifthepicturewastoalter,itwastoalter。Thatwasall。Whyinquiretoocloselyintoit?
Fortherewouldbearealpleasureinwatchingit。Hewouldbeabletofollowhismindintoitssecretplaces。Thisportraitwouldbetohimthemostmagicalofmirrors。Asithadrevealedtohimhisownbody,soitwouldrevealtohimhisownsoul。Andwhenwintercameuponit,hewouldstillbestandingwherespringtremblesonthevergeofsummer。Whenthebloodcreptfromitsface,andleftbehindapallidmaskofchalkwithleadeneyes,hewouldkeeptheglamourofboyhood。Notoneblossomofhislovelinesswouldeverfade。Notonepulseofhislifewouldeverweaken。
LikethegodsoftheGreeks,hewouldbestrong,andfleet,andjoyous。
Whatdiditmatterwhathappenedtothecolouredimageonthecanvas?Hewouldbesafe。Thatwaseverything。
Hedrewthescreenbackintoitsformerplaceinfrontofthepicture,smilingashedidso,andpassedintohisbedroom,wherehisvaletwasalreadywaitingforhim。Anhourlaterhewasattheopera,andLordHenrywasleaningoverhischair。
ThePictureofDorianGray:Chapter9Chapter9Ashewassittingatbreakfastnextmorning,BasilHallwardwasshownintotheroom。
IamsogladIhavefoundyou,Dorian,hesaidgravely。Icalledlastnight,andtheytoldmeyouwereattheopera。Ofcourse,Iknewthatwasimpossible。ButIwishyouhadleftwordwhereyouhadreallygoneto。Ipassedadreadfulevening,halfafraidthatonetragedymightbefollowedbyanother。Ithinkyoumighthavetelegraphedformewhenyouheardofitfirst。IreadofitquitebychanceinalateeditionofTheGlobethatIpickedupattheclub。Icamehereatonceandwasmiserableatnotfindingyou。Ican’ttellyouhowheart-brokenIamaboutthewholething。Iknowwhatyoumustsuffer。Butwherewereyou?Didyougodownandseethegirl’smother?ForamomentIthoughtoffollowingyouthere。
Theygavetheaddressinthepaper。SomewhereintheEustonRoad,isn’tit?ButIwasafraidofintrudinguponasorrowthatIcouldnotlighten。
Poorwoman!Whatastateshemustbein!Andheronlychild,too!Whatdidshesayaboutitall?
MydearBasil,howdoIknow?murmuredDorianGray,sippingsomepale-yellowwinefromadelicate,gold-beadedbubbleofVenetianglassandlookingdreadfullybored。Iwasattheopera。Youshouldhavecomeonthere。ImetLadyGwendolen,Harry’ssister,forthefirsttime。Wewereinherbox。Sheisperfectlycharming。andPattisangdivinely。Don’ttalkabouthorridsubjects。Ifonedoesn’ttalkaboutathing,ithasneverhappened。Itissimplyexpression,asHarrysays,thatgivesrealitytothings。Imaymentionthatshewasnotthewoman’sonlychild。Thereisason,acharmingfellow,Ibelieve。Butheisnotonthestage。Heisasailor,orsomething。Andnow,tellmeaboutyourselfandwhatyouarepainting。
Youwenttotheopera?saidHallward,speakingveryslowlyandwithastrainedtouchofpaininhisvoice。YouwenttotheoperawhileSibylVanewaslyingdeadinsomesordidlodging?Youcantalktomeofotherwomenbeingcharming,andofPattisingingdivinely,beforethegirlyoulovedhaseventhequietofagravetosleepin?Why,man,therearehorrorsinstoreforthatlittlewhitebodyofhers!
Stop,Basil!Iwon’thearit!criedDorian,leapingtohisfeet。
Youmustnottellmeaboutthings。Whatisdoneisdone。Whatispastispast。
Youcallyesterdaythepast?
Whathastheactuallapseoftimegottodowithit?Itisonlyshallowpeoplewhorequireyearstogetridofanemotion。Amanwhoismasterofhimselfcanendasorrowaseasilyashecaninventapleasure。
Idon’twanttobeatthemercyofmyemotions。Iwanttousethem,toenjoythem,andtodominatethem。
Dorian,thisishorrible!Somethinghaschangedyoucompletely。
Youlookexactlythesamewonderfulboywho,dayafterday,usedtocomedowntomystudiotositforhispicture。Butyouweresimple,natural,andaffectionatethen。Youwerethemostunspoiledcreatureinthewholeworld。Now,Idon’tknowwhathascomeoveryou。Youtalkasifyouhadnoheart,nopityinyou。ItisallHarry’sinfluence。Iseethat。
Theladflushedupand,goingtothewindow,lookedoutforafewmomentsonthegreen,flickering,sun-lashedgarden。IoweagreatdealtoHarry,Basil,hesaidatlast,morethanIowetoyou。Youonlytaughtmetobevain。
Well,Iampunishedforthat,Dorian——orshallbesomeday。
Idon’tknowwhatyoumean,Basil,heexclaimed,turninground。
Idon’tknowwhatyouwant。Whatdoyouwant?
IwanttheDorianGrayIusedtopaint,saidtheartistsadly。
Basil,saidthelad,goingovertohimandputtinghishandonhisshoulder,youhavecometoolate。Yesterday,whenIheardthatSibylVanehadkilledherself——
Killedherself!Goodheavens!istherenodoubtaboutthat?
criedHallward,lookingupathimwithanexpressionofhorror。
MydearBasil!Surelyyoudon’tthinkitwasavulgaraccident?
Ofcourseshekilledherself。
Theeldermanburiedhisfaceinhishands。Howfearful,hemuttered,andashudderranthroughhim。
No,saidDorianGray,thereisnothingfearfulaboutit。Itisoneofthegreatromantictragediesoftheage。Asarule,peoplewhoactleadthemostcommonplacelives。Theyaregoodhusbands,orfaithfulwives,orsomethingtedious。YouknowwhatImean——middle-classvirtueandallthatkindofthing。HowdifferentSibylwas!Shelivedherfinesttragedy。Shewasalwaysaheroine。Thelastnightsheplayed——thenightyousawher——sheactedbadlybecauseshehadknowntherealityoflove。
Whensheknewitsunreality,shedied,asJulietmighthavedied。Shepassedagainintothesphereofart。Thereissomethingofthemartyrabouther。
Herdeathhasallthepatheticuselessnessofmartyrdom,allitswastedbeauty。But,asIwassaying,youmustnotthinkIhavenotsuffered。Ifyouhadcomeinyesterdayataparticularmoment——abouthalf-pastfive,perhaps,oraquartertosix——youwouldhavefoundmeintears。EvenHarry,whowashere,whobroughtmethenews,infact,hadnoideawhatIwasgoingthrough。Isufferedimmensely。Thenitpassedaway。Icannotrepeatanemotion。Noonecan,exceptsentimentalists。Andyouareawfullyunjust,Basil。Youcomedownheretoconsoleme。Thatischarmingofyou。Youfindmeconsoled,andyouarefurious。Howlikeasympatheticperson!YouremindmeofastoryHarrytoldmeaboutacertainphilanthropistwhospenttwentyyearsofhislifeintryingtogetsomegrievanceredressed,orsomeunjustlawaltered——Iforgetexactlywhatitwas。Finallyhesucceeded,andnothingcouldexceedhisdisappointment。Hehadabsolutelynothingtodo,almostdiedofennui,andbecameaconfirmedmisanthrope。Andbesides,mydearoldBasil,ifyoureallywanttoconsoleme,teachmerathertoforgetwhathashappened,ortoseeitfromaproperartisticpointofview。WasitnotGautierwhousedtowriteaboutlaconsolationdesarts?
Irememberpickingupalittlevellum-coveredbookinyourstudioonedayandchancingonthatdelightfulphrase。Well,IamnotlikethatyoungmanyoutoldmeofwhenweweredownatMarlowtogether,theyoungmanwhousedtosaythatyellowsatincouldconsoleoneforallthemiseriesoflife。Ilovebeautifulthingsthatonecantouchandhandle。Oldbrocades,greenbronzes,lacquer-work,carvedivories,exquisitesurroundings,luxury,pomp——thereismuchtobegotfromallthese。Buttheartistictemperamentthattheycreate,oratanyratereveal,isstillmoretome。Tobecomethespectatorofone’sownlife,asHarrysays,istoescapethesufferingoflife。Iknowyouaresurprisedatmytalkingtoyoulikethis。YouhavenotrealizedhowIhavedeveloped。Iwasaschoolboywhenyouknewme。
Iamamannow。Ihavenewpassions,newthoughts,newideas。Iamdifferent,butyoumustnotlikemeless。Iamchanged,butyoumustalwaysbemyfriend。Ofcourse,IamveryfondofHarry。ButIknowthatyouarebetterthanheis。Youarenotstronger——youaretoomuchafraidoflife——butyouarebetter。Andhowhappyweusedtobetogether!Don’tleaveme,Basil,anddon’tquarrelwithme。IamwhatIam。Thereisnothingmoretobesaid。
Thepainterfeltstrangelymoved。Theladwasinfinitelydeartohim,andhispersonalityhadbeenthegreatturningpointinhisart。
Hecouldnotbeartheideaofreproachinghimanymore。Afterall,hisindifferencewasprobablymerelyamoodthatwouldpassaway。Therewassomuchinhimthatwasgood,somuchinhimthatwasnoble。
Well,Dorian,hesaidatlength,withasadsmile,Iwon’tspeaktoyouagainaboutthishorriblething,afterto-day。Ionlytrustyournamewon’tbementionedinconnectionwithit。Theinquestistotakeplacethisafternoon。Havetheysummonedyou?
Dorianshookhishead,andalookofannoyancepassedoverhisfaceatthementionofthewordinquest。Therewassomethingsocrudeandvulgarabouteverythingofthekind。Theydon’tknowmyname,heanswered。
Butsurelyshedid?
OnlymyChristianname,andthatIamquitesureshenevermentionedtoanyone。ShetoldmeoncethattheywereallrathercurioustolearnwhoIwas,andthatsheinvariablytoldthemmynamewasPrinceCharming。
Itwasprettyofher。YoumustdomeadrawingofSibyl,Basil。Ishouldliketohavesomethingmoreofherthanthememoryofafewkissesandsomebrokenpatheticwords。
Iwilltryanddosomething,Dorian,ifitwouldpleaseyou。
Butyoumustcomeandsittomeyourselfagain。Ican’tgetonwithoutyou。
Icanneversittoyouagain,Basil。Itisimpossible!heexclaimed,startingback。
Thepainterstaredathim。Mydearboy,whatnonsense!hecried。
Doyoumeantosayyoudon’tlikewhatIdidofyou?Whereisit?Whyhaveyoupulledthescreeninfrontofit?Letmelookatit。ItisthebestthingIhaveeverdone。Dotakethescreenaway,Dorian。Itissimplydisgracefulofyourservanthidingmyworklikethat。IfelttheroomlookeddifferentasIcamein。
Myservanthasnothingtodowithit,Basil。Youdon’timagineIlethimarrangemyroomforme?Hesettlesmyflowersformesometimes——
thatisall。No。Ididitmyself。Thelightwastoostrongontheportrait。
Toostrong!Surelynot,mydearfellow?Itisanadmirableplaceforit。Letmeseeit。AndHallwardwalkedtowardsthecorneroftheroom。
AcryofterrorbrokefromDorianGray’slips,andherushedbetweenthepainterandthescreen。Basil,hesaid,lookingverypale,youmustnotlookatit。Idon’twishyouto。
Notlookatmyownwork!Youarenotserious。Whyshouldn’tI
lookatit?exclaimedHallward,laughing。
Ifyoutrytolookatit,Basil,onmywordofhonourIwillneverspeaktoyouagainaslongasIlive。Iamquiteserious。Idon’tofferanyexplanation,andyouarenottoaskforany。But,remember,ifyoutouchthisscreen,everythingisoverbetweenus。
Hallwardwasthunderstruck。HelookedatDorianGrayinabsoluteamazement。Hehadneverseenhimlikethisbefore。Theladwasactuallypallidwithrage。Hishandswereclenched,andthepupilsofhiseyeswerelikedisksofbluefire。Hewastremblingallover。
Dorian!
Don’tspeak!
Butwhatisthematter?OfcourseIwon’tlookatitifyoudon’twantmeto,hesaid,rathercoldly,turningonhisheelandgoingovertowardsthewindow。But,really,itseemsratherabsurdthatIshouldn’tseemyownwork,especiallyasIamgoingtoexhibititinParisintheautumn。Ishallprobablyhavetogiveitanothercoatofvarnishbeforethat,soImustseeitsomeday,andwhynotto-day?
Toexhibitit!Youwanttoexhibitit?exclaimedDorianGray,astrangesenseofterrorcreepingoverhim。Wastheworldgoingtobeshownhissecret?Werepeopletogapeatthemysteryofhislife?Thatwasimpossible。Something——hedidnotknowwhat——hadtobedoneatonce。
Yes。Idon’tsupposeyouwillobjecttothat。GeorgesPetitisgoingtocollectallmybestpicturesforaspecialexhibitionintheRuedeSeze,whichwillopenthefirstweekinOctober。Theportraitwillonlybeawayamonth。Ishouldthinkyoucouldeasilyspareitforthattime。
Infact,youaresuretobeoutoftown。Andifyoukeepitalwaysbehindascreen,youcan’tcaremuchaboutit。
DorianGraypassedhishandoverhisforehead。Therewerebeadsofperspirationthere。Hefeltthathewasonthebrinkofahorribledanger。
Youtoldmeamonthagothatyouwouldneverexhibitit,hecried。Whyhaveyouchangedyourmind?Youpeoplewhogoinforbeingconsistenthavejustasmanymoodsasothershave。Theonlydifferenceisthatyourmoodsarerathermeaningless。Youcan’thaveforgottenthatyouassuredmemostsolemnlythatnothingintheworldwouldinduceyoutosendittoanyexhibition。
YoutoldHarryexactlythesamething。Hestoppedsuddenly,andagleamoflightcameintohiseyes。HerememberedthatLordHenryhadsaidtohimonce,halfseriouslyandhalfinjest,Ifyouwanttohaveastrangequarterofanhour,getBasiltotellyouwhyhewon’texhibityourpicture。
Hetoldmewhyhewouldn’t,anditwasarevelationtome。Yes,perhapsBasil,too,hadhissecret。Hewouldaskhimandtry。
Basil,hesaid,comingoverquitecloseandlookinghimstraightintheface,wehaveeachofusasecret。Letmeknowyours,andIshalltellyoumine。Whatwasyourreasonforrefusingtoexhibitmypicture?
Thepaintershudderedinspiteofhimself。Dorian,ifItoldyou,youmightlikemelessthanyoudo,andyouwouldcertainlylaughatme。Icouldnotbearyourdoingeitherofthosetwothings。Ifyouwishmenevertolookatyourpictureagain,Iamcontent。Ihavealwaysyoutolookat。IfyouwishthebestworkIhaveeverdonetobehiddenfromtheworld,Iamsatisfied。Yourfriendshipisdearertomethananyfameorreputation。
No,Basil,youmusttellme,insistedDorianGray。IthinkIhavearighttoknow。Hisfeelingofterrorhadpassedaway,andcuriosityhadtakenitsplace。HewasdeterminedtofindoutBasilHallward’smystery。
Letussitdown,Dorian,saidthepainter,lookingtroubled。
Letussitdown。Andjustanswermeonequestion。Haveyounoticedinthepicturesomethingcurious?——somethingthatprobablyatfirstdidnotstrikeyou,butthatrevealeditselftoyousuddenly?
Basil!criedthelad,clutchingthearmsofhischairwithtremblinghandsandgazingathimwithwildstartledeyes。
Iseeyoudid。Don’tspeak。WaittillyouhearwhatIhavetosay。Dorian,fromthemomentImetyou,yourpersonalityhadthemostextraordinaryinfluenceoverme。Iwasdominated,soul,brain,andpower,byyou。Youbecametomethevisibleincarnationofthatunseenidealwhosememoryhauntsusartistslikeanexquisitedream。Iworshippedyou。Igrewjealousofeveryonetowhomyouspoke。Iwantedtohaveyoualltomyself。IwasonlyhappywhenIwaswithyou。Whenyouwereawayfromme,youwerestillpresentinmyart……Ofcourse,Ineverletyouknowanythingaboutthis。
Itwouldhavebeenimpossible。Youwouldnothaveunderstoodit。Ihardlyunderstooditmyself。IonlyknewthatIhadseenperfectionfacetoface,andthattheworldhadbecomewonderfultomyeyes——toowonderful,perhaps,forinsuchmadworshipsthereisperil,theperiloflosingthem,nolessthantheperilofkeepingthem……Weeksandweekswenton,andIgrewmoreandmoreabsorbedinyou。Thencameanewdevelopment。IhaddrawnyouasParisindaintyarmour,andasAdoniswithhuntsman’scloakandpolishedboar-spear。Crownedwithheavylotus-blossomsyouhadsatontheprowofAdrian’sbarge,gazingacrossthegreenturbidNile。YouhadleanedoverthestillpoolofsomeGreekwoodlandandseeninthewater’ssilentsilverthemarvelofyourownface。Andithadallbeenwhatartshouldbe——unconscious,ideal,andremote。Oneday,afataldayIsometimesthink,Ideterminedtopaintawonderfulportraitofyouasyouactuallyare,notinthecostumeofdeadages,butinyourowndressandinyourowntime。Whetheritwastherealismofthemethod,orthemerewonderofyourownpersonality,thusdirectlypresentedtomewithoutmistorveil,I
cannottell。ButIknowthatasIworkedatit,everyflakeandfilmofcolourseemedtometorevealmysecret。Igrewafraidthatotherswouldknowofmyidolatry。Ifelt,Dorian,thatIhadtoldtoomuch,thatIhadputtoomuchofmyselfintoit。ThenitwasthatIresolvednevertoallowthepicturetobeexhibited。Youwerealittleannoyed。butthenyoudidnotrealizeallthatitmeanttome。Harry,towhomItalkedaboutit,laughedatme。ButIdidnotmindthat。Whenthepicturewasfinished,andIsatalonewithit,IfeltthatIwasright……Well,afterafewdaysthethingleftmystudio,andassoonasIhadgotridoftheintolerablefascinationofitspresence,itseemedtomethatIhadbeenfoolishinimaginingthatIhadseenanythinginit,morethanthatyouwereextremelygood-lookingandthatIcouldpaint。EvennowIcannothelpfeelingthatitisamistaketothinkthatthepassiononefeelsincreationiseverreallyshownintheworkonecreates。Artisalwaysmoreabstractthanwefancy。Formandcolourtellusofformandcolour——thatisall。Itoftenseemstomethatartconcealstheartistfarmorecompletelythaniteverrevealshim。AndsowhenIgotthisofferfromParis,Ideterminedtomakeyourportraittheprincipalthinginmyexhibition。Itneveroccurredtomethatyouwouldrefuse。Iseenowthatyouwereright。Thepicturecannotbeshown。Youmustnotbeangrywithme,Dorian,forwhatIhavetoldyou。
AsIsaidtoHarry,once,youaremadetobeworshipped。
DorianGraydrewalongbreath。Thecolourcamebacktohischeeks,andasmileplayedabouthislips。Theperilwasover。Hewassafeforthetime。Yethecouldnothelpfeelinginfinitepityforthepainterwhohadjustmadethisstrangeconfessiontohim,andwonderedifhehimselfwouldeverbesodominatedbythepersonalityofafriend。LordHenryhadthecharmofbeingverydangerous。Butthatwasall。Hewastoocleverandtoocynicaltobereallyfondof。Wouldthereeverbesomeonewhowouldfillhimwithastrangeidolatry?Wasthatoneofthethingsthatlifehadinstore?
Itisextraordinarytome,Dorian,saidHallward,thatyoushouldhaveseenthisintheportrait。Didyoureallyseeit?
Isawsomethinginit,heanswered,somethingthatseemedtomeverycurious。
Well,youdon’tmindmylookingatthethingnow?
Dorianshookhishead。Youmustnotaskmethat,Basil。Icouldnotpossiblyletyoustandinfrontofthatpicture。
Youwillsomeday,surely?
Never。
Well,perhapsyouareright。Andnowgood-bye,Dorian。Youhavebeentheonepersoninmylifewhohasreallyinfluencedmyart。WhateverIhavedonethatisgood,Iowetoyou。Ah!youdon’tknowwhatitcostmetotellyouallthatIhavetoldyou。
MydearBasil,saidDorian,whathaveyoutoldme?Simplythatyoufeltthatyouadmiredmetoomuch。Thatisnotevenacompliment。
Itwasnotintendedasacompliment。Itwasaconfession。NowthatIhavemadeit,somethingseemstohavegoneoutofme。Perhapsoneshouldneverputone’sworshipintowords。
Itwasaverydisappointingconfession。
Why,whatdidyouexpect,Dorian?Youdidn’tseeanythingelseinthepicture,didyou?Therewasnothingelsetosee?
No。therewasnothingelsetosee。Whydoyouask?Butyoumustn’ttalkaboutworship。Itisfoolish。YouandIarefriends,Basil,andwemustalwaysremainso。
YouhavegotHarry,saidthepaintersadly。
Oh,Harry!criedthelad,witharippleoflaughter。Harryspendshisdaysinsayingwhatisincredibleandhiseveningsindoingwhatisimprobable。JustthesortoflifeIwouldliketolead。ButstillIdon’tthinkIwouldgotoHarryifIwereintrouble。Iwouldsoonergotoyou,Basil。
Youwillsittomeagain?
Impossible!
Youspoilmylifeasanartistbyrefusing,Dorian。Nomancomesacrosstwoidealthings。Fewcomeacrossone。
Ican’texplainittoyou,Basil,butImustneversittoyouagain。Thereissomethingfatalaboutaportrait。Ithasalifeofitsown。Iwillcomeandhaveteawithyou。Thatwillbejustaspleasant。
Pleasanterforyou,Iamafraid,murmuredHallwardregretfully。
Andnowgood-bye。Iamsorryyouwon’tletmelookatthepictureonceagain。Butthatcan’tbehelped。Iquiteunderstandwhatyoufeelaboutit。
Ashelefttheroom,DorianGraysmiledtohimself。PoorBasil!
Howlittleheknewofthetruereason!Andbowstrangeitwasthat,insteadofhavingbeenforcedtorevealhisownsecret,hehadsucceeded,almostbychance,inwrestingasecretfromhisfriend!Howmuchthatstrangeconfessionexplainedtohim!Thepainter’sabsurdfitsofjealousy,hiswilddevotion,hisextravagantpanegyrics,hiscuriousreticences——heunderstoodthemallnow,andhefeltsorry。Thereseemedtohimtobesomethingtragicinafriendshipsocolouredbyromance。
Hesighedandtouchedthebell。Theportraitmustbehiddenawayatallcosts。Hecouldnotrunsuchariskofdiscoveryagain。Ithadbeenmadofhimtohaveallowedthethingtoremain,evenforanhour,inaroomtowhichanyofhisfriendshadaccess。
ThePictureofDorianGray:Chapter10Chapter10Whenhisservantentered,belookedathimsteadfastlyandwonderedifhehadthoughtofpeeringbehindthescreen。Themanwasquiteimpassiveandwaitedforhisorders。Dorianlitacigaretteandwalkedovertotheglassandglancedintoit。HecouldseethereflectionofVictor’sfaceperfectly。Itwaslikeaplacidmaskofservility。Therewasnothingtobeafraidof,there。Yethethoughtitbesttobeonhisguard。
Speakingveryslowly,hetoldhimtotellthehouse-keeperthathewantedtoseeher,andthentogototheframe-makerandaskhimtosendtwoofhismenroundatonce。Itseemedtohimthatasthemanlefttheroomhiseyeswanderedinthedirectionofthescreen。Orwasthatmerelyhisownfancy?
Afterafewmoments,inherblacksilkdress,withold-fashionedthreadmittensonherwrinkledhands,Mrs。Leafbustledintothelibrary。
Heaskedherforthekeyoftheschoolroom。
Theoldschoolroom,Mr。Dorian?sheexclaimed。Why,itisfullofdust。Imustgetitarrangedandputstraightbeforeyougointoit。
Itisnotfitforyoutosee,sir。Itisnot,indeed。
Idon’twantitputstraight,Leaf。Ionlywantthekey。
Well,sir,you’llbecoveredwithcobwebsifyougointoit。
Why,ithasn’tbeenopenedfornearlyfiveyears——notsincehislordshipdied。
Hewincedatthementionofhisgrandfather。Hehadhatefulmemoriesofhim。Thatdoesnotmatter,heanswered。Isimplywanttoseetheplace——thatisall。Givemethekey。
Andhereisthekey,sir,saidtheoldlady,goingoverthecontentsofherbunchwithtremulouslyuncertainhands。Hereisthekey。
I’llhaveitoffthebunchinamoment。Butyoudon’tthinkoflivingupthere,sir,andyousocomfortablehere?
No,no,hecriedpetulantly。Thankyou,Leaf。Thatwilldo。
Shelingeredforafewmoments,andwasgarrulousoversomedetailofthehousehold。Hesighedandtoldhertomanagethingsasshethoughtbest。Shelefttheroom,wreathedinsmiles。
Asthedoorclosed,Dorianputthekeyinhispocketandlookedroundtheroom。Hiseyefellonalarge,purplesatincoverletheavilyembroideredwithgold,asplendidpieceoflateseventeenth-centuryVenetianworkthathisgrandfatherhadfoundinaconventnearBologna。Yes,thatwouldservetowrapthedreadfulthingin。Ithadperhapsservedoftenasapallforthedead。Nowitwastohidesomethingthathadacorruptionofitsown,worsethanthecorruptionofdeathitself——somethingthatwouldbreedhorrorsandyetwouldneverdie。Whatthewormwastothecorpse,hissinswouldbetothepaintedimageonthecanvas。Theywouldmaritsbeautyandeatawayitsgrace。Theywoulddefileitandmakeitshameful。
Andyetthethingwouldstillliveon。Itwouldbealwaysalive。
Heshuddered,andforamomentheregrettedthathehadnottoldBasilthetruereasonwhyhehadwishedtohidethepictureaway。BasilwouldhavehelpedhimtoresistLordHenry’sinfluence,andthestillmorepoisonousinfluencesthatcamefromhisowntemperament。Thelovethatheborehim——foritwasreallylove——hadnothinginitthatwasnotnobleandintellectual。Itwasnotthatmerephysicaladmirationofbeautythatisbornofthesensesandthatdieswhenthesensestire。ItwassuchloveasMichelangelohadknown,andMontaigne,andWinckelmann,andShakespearehimself。Yes,Basilcouldhavesavedhim。Butitwastoolatenow。Thepastcouldalwaysbeannihilated。Regret,denial,orforgetfulnesscoulddothat。Butthefuturewasinevitable。Therewerepassionsinhimthatwouldfindtheirterribleoutlet,dreamsthatwouldmaketheshadowoftheirevilreal。
Hetookupfromthecouchthegreatpurple-and-goldtexturethatcoveredit,and,holdingitinhishands,passedbehindthescreen。Wasthefaceonthecanvasvilerthanbefore?Itseemedtohimthatitwasunchanged,andyethisloathingofitwasintensified。Goldhair,blueeyes,androse-redlips——theyallwerethere。Itwassimplytheexpressionthathadaltered。Thatwashorribleinitscruelty。Comparedtowhathesawinitofcensureorrebuke,howshallowBasil’sreproachesaboutSibylVanehadbeen!——howshallow,andofwhatlittleaccount!Hisownsoulwaslookingoutathimfromthecanvasandcallinghimtojudgement。A
lookofpaincameacrosshim,andheflungtherichpalloverthepicture。
Ashedidso,aknockcametothedoor。Hepassedoutashisservantentered。
Thepersonsarehere,Monsieur。
Hefeltthatthemanmustbegotridofatonce。Hemustnotbeallowedtoknowwherethepicturewasbeingtakento。Therewassomethingslyabouthim,andhehadthoughtful,treacherouseyes。Sittingdownatthewriting-tablehescribbledanotetoLordHenry,askinghimtosendhimroundsomethingtoreadandremindinghimthattheyweretomeetateight-fifteenthatevening。
Waitforananswer,hesaid,handingittohim,andshowthemeninhere。
Intwoorthreeminutestherewasanotherknock,andMr。Hubbardhimself,thecelebratedframe-makerofSouthAudleyStreet,cameinwithasomewhatrough-lookingyoungassistant。Mr。Hubbardwasaflorid,red-whiskeredlittleman,whoseadmirationforartwasconsiderablytemperedbytheinveterateimpecuniosityofmostoftheartistswhodealtwithhim。Asarule,heneverlefthisshop。Hewaitedforpeopletocometohim。ButhealwaysmadeanexceptioninfavourofDorianGray。TherewassomethingaboutDorianthatcharmedeverybody。Itwasapleasureeventoseehim。
WhatcanIdoforyou,Mr。Gray?hesaid,rubbinghisfatfreckledhands。IthoughtIwoulddomyselfthehonourofcomingroundinperson。
Ihavejustgotabeautyofaframe,sir。Pickeditupatasale。OldFlorentine。
CamefromFonthill,Ibelieve。Admirablysuitedforareligioussubject,Mr。Gray。
Iamsosorryyouhavegivenyourselfthetroubleofcominground,Mr。Hubbard。Ishallcertainlydropinandlookattheframe——thoughI
don’tgoinmuchatpresentforreligiousart——butto-dayIonlywantapicturecarriedtothetopofthehouseforme。Itisratherheavy,soIthoughtIwouldaskyoutolendmeacoupleofyourmen。
Notroubleatall,Mr。Gray。Iamdelightedtobeofanyservicetoyou。Whichistheworkofart,sir?
This,repliedDorian,movingthescreenback。Canyoumoveit,coveringandall,justasitis?Idon’twantittogetscratchedgoingupstairs。
Therewillbenodifficulty,sir,saidthegenialframe-maker,beginning,withtheaidofhisassistant,tounhookthepicturefromthelongbrasschainsbywhichitwassuspended。And,now,whereshallwecarryitto,Mr。Gray?
Iwillshowyoutheway,Mr。Hubbard,ifyouwillkindlyfollowme。Orperhapsyouhadbettergoinfront。Iamafraiditisrightatthetopofthehouse。Wewillgoupbythefrontstaircase,asitiswider。
Heheldthedooropenforthem,andtheypassedoutintothehallandbegantheascent。Theelaboratecharacteroftheframehadmadethepictureextremelybulky,andnowandthen,inspiteoftheobsequiousprotestsofMr。Hubbard,whohadthetruetradesman’sspiriteddislikeofseeingagentlemandoinganythinguseful,Dorianputhishandtoitsoastohelpthem。
Somethingofaloadtocarry,sir,gaspedthelittlemanwhentheyreachedthetoplanding。Andhewipedhisshinyforehead。
Iamafraiditisratherheavy,murmuredDorianasheunlockedthedoorthatopenedintotheroomthatwastokeepforhimthecurioussecretofhislifeandhidehissoulfromtheeyesofmen。
Hehadnotenteredtheplaceformorethanfouryears——not,indeed,sincehehaduseditfirstasaplay-roomwhenhewasachild,andthenasastudywhenhegrewsomewhatolder。Itwasalarge,well-proportionedroom,whichhadbeenspeciallybuiltbythelastLordKelsofortheuseofthelittlegrandsonwhom,forhisstrangelikenesstohismother,andalsoforotherreasons,hehadalwayshatedanddesiredtokeepatadistance。
ItappearedtoDoriantohavebutlittlechanged。TherewasthehugeItaliancassone,withitsfantasticallypaintedpanelsanditstarnishedgiltmouldings,inwhichhehadsooftenhiddenhimselfasaboy。Therethesatinwoodbook-casefilledwithhisdog-earedschoolbooks。OnthewallbehinditwashangingthesameraggedFlemishtapestrywhereafadedkingandqueenwereplayingchessinagarden,whileacompanyofhawkersrodeby,carryinghoodedbirdsontheirgauntletedwrists。Howwellheremembereditall!Everymomentofhislonelychildhoodcamebacktohimashelookedround。Herecalledthestainlesspurityofhisboyishlife,anditseemedhorribletohimthatitwasherethefatalportraitwastobehiddenaway。
Howlittlehehadthought,inthosedeaddays,ofallthatwasinstoreforhim!
Buttherewasnootherplaceinthehousesosecurefrompryingeyesasthis。Hehadthekey,andnooneelsecouldenterit。Beneathitspurplepall,thefacepaintedonthecanvascouldgrowbestial,sodden,andunclean。Whatdiditmatter?Noonecouldseeit。Hehimselfwouldnotseeit。Whyshouldhewatchthehideouscorruptionofhissoul?Hekepthisyouth——thatwasenough。And,besides,mightnothisnaturegrowfiner,afterall?Therewasnoreasonthatthefutureshouldbesofullofshame。Somelovemightcomeacrosshislife,andpurifyhim,andshieldhimfromthosesinsthatseemedtobealreadystirringinspiritandinflesh——thosecuriousunpicturedsinswhoseverymysterylentthemtheirsubtletyandtheircharm。Perhaps,someday,thecruellookwouldhavepassedawayfromthescarletsensitivemouth,andhemightshowtotheworldBasilHallward’smasterpiece。
No。thatwasimpossible。Hourbyhour,andweekbyweek,thethinguponthecanvaswasgrowingold。Itmightescapethehideousnessofsin,butthehideousnessofagewasinstoreforit。Thecheekswouldbecomeholloworflaccid。Yellowcrow’sfeetwouldcreeproundthefadingeyesandmakethemhorrible。Thehairwouldloseitsbrightness,themouthwouldgapeordroop,wouldbefoolishorgross,asthemouthsofoldmenare。
Therewouldbethewrinkledthroat,thecold,blue-veinedhands,thetwistedbody,thatherememberedinthegrandfatherwhohadbeensosterntohiminhisboyhood。Thepicturehadtobeconcealed。Therewasnohelpforit。
Bringitin,Mr。Hubbard,please,hesaid,wearily,turninground。IamsorryIkeptyousolong。Iwasthinkingofsomethingelse。
Alwaysgladtohavearest,Mr。Gray,answeredtheframe-maker,whowasstillgaspingforbreath。Whereshallweputit,sir?
Oh,anywhere。Here:thiswilldo。Idon’twanttohaveithungup。Justleanitagainstthewall。Thanks。
Mightonelookattheworkofart,sir?
Dorianstarted。Itwouldnotinterestyou,Mr。Hubbard,hesaid,keepinghiseyeontheman。Hefeltreadytoleapuponhimandflinghimtothegroundifhedaredtoliftthegorgeoushangingthatconcealedthesecretofhislife。Ishan’ttroubleyouanymorenow。Iammuchobligedforyourkindnessincominground。
Notatall,notatall,Mr。Gray。Everreadytodoanythingforyou,sir。AndMr。Hubbardtrampeddownstairs,followedbytheassistant,whoglancedbackatDorianwithalookofshywonderinhisroughuncomelyface。Hehadneverseenanyonesomarvellous。
Whenthesoundoftheirfootstepshaddiedaway,Dorianlockedthedoorandputthekeyinhispocket。Hefeltsafenow。Noonewouldeverlookuponthehorriblething。Noeyebuthiswouldeverseehisshame。
Onreachingthelibrary,hefoundthatitwasjustafterfiveo’clockandthattheteahadbeenalreadybroughtup。Onalittletableofdarkperfumedwoodthicklyincrustedwithnacre,apresentfromLadyRadley,hisguardian’swife,aprettyprofessionalinvalidwhohadspenttheprecedingwinterinCairo,waslyinganotefromLordHenry,andbesideitwasabookboundinyellowpaper,thecoverslightlytornandtheedgessoiled。AcopyofthethirdeditionofTheSt。James’sGazettehadbeenplacedonthetea-tray。ItwasevidentthatVictorhadreturned。Hewonderedifhehadmetthemeninthehallastheywereleavingthehouseandhadwormedoutofthemwhattheyhadbeendoing。Hewouldbesuretomissthepicture——hadnodoubtmisseditalready,whilehehadbeenlayingthetea-things。Thescreenhadnotbeensetback,andablankspacewasvisibleonthewall。Perhapssomenighthemightfindhimcreepingupstairsandtryingtoforcethedooroftheroom。Itwasahorriblethingtohaveaspyinone’shouse。Hehadheardofrichmenwhohadbeenblackmailedalltheirlivesbysomeservantwhohadreadaletter,oroverheardaconversation,orpickedupacardwithanaddress,orfoundbeneathapillowawitheredflowerorashredofcrumpledlace。
Hesighed,andhavingpouredhimselfoutsometea,openedLordHenry’snote。Itwassimplytosaythathesenthimroundtheeveningpaper,andabookthatmightinteresthim,andthathewouldbeattheclubateight-fifteen。HeopenedTheSt。James’slanguidly,andlookedthroughit。Aredpencil-markonthefifthpagecaughthiseye。Itdrewattentiontothefollowingparagraph:
INQUESTONANACTRESS——AninquestwasheldthismorningattheBellTavern,HoxtonRoad,byMr。Danby,theDistrictCoroner,onthebodyofSibylVane,ayoungactressrecentlyengagedattheRoyalTheatre,Holborn。Averdictofdeathbymisadventurewasreturned。Considerablesympathywasexpressedforthemotherofthedeceased,whowasgreatlyaffectedduringthegivingofherownevidence,andthatofDr。Birrell,whohadmadethepost-mortemexaminationofthedeceased。Hefrowned,andtearingthepaperintwo,wentacrosstheroomandflungthepiecesaway。Howuglyitallwas!Andhowhorriblyrealuglinessmadethings!HefeltalittleannoyedwithLordHenryforhavingsenthimthereport。Anditwascertainlystupidofhimtohavemarkeditwithredpencil。
Victormighthavereadit。ThemanknewmorethanenoughEnglishforthat。
Perhapshehadreaditandhadbeguntosuspectsomething。And,yet,whatdiditmatter?WhathadDorianGraytodowithSibylVane’sdeath?
Therewasnothingtofear。DorianGrayhadnotkilledher。
HiseyefellontheyellowbookthatLordHenryhadsenthim。
Whatwasit,hewondered。Hewenttowardsthelittle,pearl-colouredoctagonalstandthathadalwayslookedtohimliketheworkofsomestrangeEgyptianbeesthatwroughtinsilver,andtakingupthevolume,flunghimselfintoanarm-chairandbegantoturnovertheleaves。Afterafewminuteshebecameabsorbed。Itwasthestrangestbookthathehadeverread。Itseemedtohimthatinexquisiteraiment,andtothedelicatesoundofflutes,thesinsoftheworldwerepassingindumbshowbeforehim。Thingsthathehaddimlydreamedofweresuddenlymaderealtohim。Thingsofwhichhehadneverdreamedweregraduallyrevealed。
Itwasanovelwithoutaplotandwithonlyonecharacter,being,indeed,simplyapsychologicalstudyofacertainyoungParisianwhospenthislifetryingtorealizeinthenineteenthcenturyallthepassionsandmodesofthoughtthatbelongedtoeverycenturyexcepthisown,andtosumup,asitwere,inhimselfthevariousmoodsthroughwhichtheworld-spirithadeverpassed,lovingfortheirmereartificialitythoserenunciationsthatmenhaveunwiselycalledvirtue,asmuchasthosenaturalrebellionsthatwisemenstillcallsin。Thestyleinwhichitwaswrittenwasthatcuriousjewelledstyle,vividandobscureatonce,fullofargotandofarchaisms,oftechnicalexpressionsandofelaborateparaphrases,thatcharacterizestheworkofsomeofthefinestartistsoftheFrenchschoolofSymbolistes。Therewereinitmetaphorsasmonstrousasorchidsandassubtleincolour。Thelifeofthesenseswasdescribedinthetermsofmysticalphilosophy。Onehardlyknewattimeswhetheronewasreadingthespiritualecstasiesofsomemediaevalsaintorthemorbidconfessionsofamodernsinner。Itwasapoisonousbook。Theheavyodourofincenseseemedtoclingaboutitspagesandtotroublethebrain。Themerecadenceofthesentences,thesubtlemonotonyoftheirmusic,sofullasitwasofcomplexrefrainsandmovementselaboratelyrepeated,producedinthemindofthelad,ashepassedfromchaptertochapter,aformofreverie,amaladyofdreaming,thatmadehimunconsciousofthefallingdayandcreepingshadows。