Cyrillaheldupthepaper。``Thistellshowshebecameoneofthesurestandmostpowerfuldramaticsopranosthateverlived。’’
``Shemusthavebeenadullpersontohavebeenabletoleadthekindoflifethat’sdescribedthere,’’saidMildred。
``Onlytwokindsofpersonscoulddoit,’’repliedCyrilla——``adullperson——aplodder——andagenius。
Middlingpeople——they’rethekindthatfilltheworld,they’reyouandI,mydear——middlingpeoplehavetofusswiththetriflesthatmustbesacrificedifoneistodoanythingbig。Youcallthosetriflesyourfreedom,butthey’reyourslavery。AndbysacrificingthemtheLuciaRivisbuytheirfreedom。’’Cyrillalookedatthepaperwithaheavysigh。``Ah,IwishIhadseenthiswhenIwasyourage。Now,it’stoolate。’’
SaidMildred:``Wouldyouseriouslyadvisemetotrythat?’’
Cyrillacameandsatbesideherandputanarmaroundher。``Mildred,’’shesaid,``I’veneverthrustadviceonyou。Ionlydaredoitnowbecauseyouaskme,andbecauseIloveyou。Youmusttryit。It’syouronechance。Ifyoudonot,youwillfail。Youdon’tbelieveme?’’
Inatonethatwasadmission,Mildredsaid:``I
don’tknow。’’
``Keithhasgivenyoutherethesecretofasuccessfulcareer。You’llneverreaditinanybook,orgetitfromanyteacher,orfromanysingerormanagerordoctor。Youmustlivelikethat,youmustdothosethingsoryouwillfaileveninmusicalcomedy。Youwouldfailevenasanactress,ifyoutriedthat,whenyoufoundoutthatthesingingwasoutofthequestion。’’
Mildredwasimpressed。PerhapsshewouldhavebeenmoreimpressedhadshenotseenKeithandMrs。
Brindleyinthetaxi,KeithtalkingearnestlyandMrs。
Brindleylisteningasiftoanoracle。Saidshe:
``PerhapsI’lladoptsomeofthesuggestions。’’
Cyrillashookherhead。``It’saroutetosuccess。
Youmustgothewholerouteornotatall。’’
``Don’tforgetthattherehavebeenothersingersbesidesRivi。’’
``NotanythatIrecallwhoweren’tnaturallypowerfulineveryway。Andhowmanyofthembreakdown?
Mildred,pleasedoputthesillynonsenseaboutnervesandtemperamentandinspirationandoverworkandweatherandclimate——putallthatoutofyourhead。
Buildyourtempleofacareerashighandgracefulanddelicateasyoulike,butbuilditonthecoarse,hard,solidrock,dear!’’
Mildredtriedtolaughlightly。``HowMr。Keithdoeshypnotizepeople!’’criedshe。
Mrs。Brindley’scheeksburned,andhereyesloweredinacuteembarrassment。``Hehasawayofbeingsplendidlyandsensiblyright,’’saidshe。``Andthetruthiswonderfullyconvincing——onceoneseesit。’’
Shechangedthesubject,anditdidnotcomeup——or,perhaps,comeOUTagain——beforetheywenttobed。
ThenextdayMildredbeganthedepressing,hopelesssearchforaplacetolivethatwouldbeclean,comfortable,andcheap。Thosethreeadjectivesdescribetheideallodging。butitwillbenotedthatallthesearerelative。Infact,noneofthethreemeansexactlythesamethingtoanytwomembersofthehumanfamily。
Mildred’snotionofclean——likehernotionofcomfortable——onaccountofherbringingupimpliedalargeelementofluxury。Asfortheword``cheap,’’itreallymeantnothingatalltoher。Fromonestand-
pointeverythingseemedcheap。fromanother,everythingseemeddear。thatis,toodearforayoungwomanwithlessthanfivehundreddollarsintheworldandnosubstantialprospectofgettingasingledollarmore——
unlessbyhookandcrook,bothofwhichmeansshewasresolvednottoemploy。
Neverhavingearnedsomuchasasinglepenny,theideaofanyone’sgivingheranythingforwhatshemightbeabletodowasdisturbinglyvagueandunreal。
Ontheotherhand,lookingabouther,shesawscoresofmenandwomen,personallyknowntohertobedullofconversation,andnotwellmanneredorwelldressedorwellanything,whoweremakinglivingswithoutoverwhelmingdifficulty。WhynotMildredGower?Inthisviewtheoutlookwasnotdiscouraging。``I’llnodoubtgothroughsomediscomfort,gettingmyselfplaced。ButsomewhereandsomehowIshallbeplaced——andhowIshallrevengemyselfonDonaldKeith!’’
Hisfascinationforherhadnotbeendestroyedbyhishumiliatinglackofbeliefinher,norbyhiscold-hearteddesertionatjustthecriticalmoment。Buthisconducthadgivenhertheincentiveofrage,ofstungvanity——
orwoundedpride,ifyouprefer。Shewouldgethimback。shewouldforcehimtoadmit。shewouldwinhim,ifshecould——andthatoughtnottobedifficultwhensheshouldbesuccessful。Havingwonhim,then——
Whatthen?Somethingsuperbinthewayofrevenge。
shewoulddecidewhat,whenthehouroftriumphcame。
Meanwhileshemustsearchforlodgings。
Inherjourneyingsundertheguidanceofattractiveadvertisementsand``carefullyselected’’agents’lists,shefoundherselfinfrontofherfirstlodgingsinNewYork——thehouseofMrs。Belloc。ShehadoftenthoughtoftheNewEnglandschool-teacher,arrivedbysuchstrangepathsatsuchastrangepositioninNewYork。Shehadstartedtocallonhermanytimes,buteachtimehadbeenturnedaside。NewYorkmakesitmorethandifficulttofindtimetodoanythingthatdoesnothavetobedoneatadefinitetimeandforadefinitereason。Shewaswornoutwithherfutiletrampingsupanddownstreets,upanddownstairs。Upthestonestepsshewentandrangthebell。
Yes,Mrs。Bellocwasin,andwouldbegladtoseeher,ifMissStevenswouldwaitinthedrawing-roomafewminutes。Shehadnotseatedherselfwhendownthestairscamethefresh,pleasantlycountrifiedvoiceofMrs。Belloc,invitinghertoascend。AsMildredstartedup,shesawattheheadofthestairsthefrankandcheerfulfaceoftheladyherself。Shewasholdingtogetherattheneckathinsilkwrapperwhoselinesstronglysuggestedthatitwastheonlygarmentshehadon。
``Whyshouldoldfriendsstandonceremony?’’saidMrs。Belloc。``Comerightup。I’vebeentakingabath。Mymasseusehasjustgone。’’Mrs。Bellocenclosedherinadelightfullyperfumedembrace,andtheykissedwithenthusiasm。
``IAMgladtoseeyou,’’saidMildred,feelingallatonceathrillingsenseofat-homeness。``Ididn’trealizehowgladI’dbetillIsawyou。’’
``It’dbeaprettystiffsortthatwouldn’tfeelathomewithme,’’observedMrs。Belloc。``NewYorkusuallystiffenspeopleup。It’shadtheoppositeeffectonme。
ThoughImustsay,IhavelearnedtostiffenwithpeopleIdon’tlike——andI’llhavetoadmitthatIlikefewerandfewer。Peopledon’twearwell,dothey?WhatIS
thematterwiththem?Whycan’ttheybenaturalandnotmakethemselvesintorubbishy,oldscrap-bagsfulloffakesandpretenses?You’relookingatmyhair。’’
TheywereinMrs。Belloc’scomfortablesitting-roomnow,andshewassmokingacigaretteandregardingMildredwithanexpressionofdelightthatwasmostflattering。SaidMildred:
``Yourhairdoeslookwell。It’sthicker——isn’tit?’’
``Thinkso?’’saidMrs。Belloc。``Itoughttobe,withallthetimeandmoneyI’vespentonit。My,howNewYorkdoessetawomantorepairingandfixingup。
Nothingartificialgoeshere。Itmustn’tbepaintandplumpersandpads,buttherealteeth。Why,I’vehadfourrealteethsetinasiftheywererooted——andmyhipstoneddown。YoumayrememberwhatheavylegsIhad——piano-legs。Lookat’emnow。’’Mrs。Bellocdrewthewrappertoherkneeandexposedinapale-
bluesilkstockingathinandcomelycalf。
``YouHAVEbeenbusy!’’saidMildred。
``That’sonlyalittlepart。Istartedtotellyouaboutthehair。Itwasgettinggray——notinanice,prettyway,allover,butinspotsandstreaks。Nothingelsemakesawomanlooksoraggedanddingyandoldasspotted,streakygrayhair。SoIhadthehair-womantouchitup。Shevowsitwon’tmakemyfacehard。
That’sthetroublewithdyedortouchedhair,youknow。
Butthisisanewprocess。’’
``It’scertainlyasuccess,’’saidMildred。Andinfactitwas,andthankstoitandtheotherimprovementsMrs。
Bellocwasanattractiveandevenaprettywoman,yearsyoungerthanwhenMildredsawher。
``Yes,IthinkI’veimproved,’’saidMrs。Belloc。
``Nothingtoscreamabout——butworthwhile。That’swhatwe’realivefor——toimprove——isn’tit?I’venopatiencewithpeoplewhoslideback,ordon’tgeton——
peoplewhogetlessandlessastheygrowolder。Thetroublewiththemisthey’revain,satisfiedwiththemselvesastheyare,andlazy。Mostwomenaretoolazytolive。They’llonlyfixuptocatchaman。’’
Mildredhadgrownsoberandthoughtful。
``Tocatchaman,’’continuedMrs。Belloc。``Andnotmuchevenforthat。I’llwarrantYOU’REgettingon。
Tellmeaboutit。’’
``Tellmeaboutyourself,first,’’saidMildred。
``WHYallthisexcitementaboutimproving?’’
Andshesmiledsignificantly。
``No,you’llhavetoguessagain,’’saidMrs。Belloc。
``Notaman。Youremember,IusedtobecrazyaboutgaylifeinNewYork——goingout,andmen,theaters,andlobster-palaces——everythingIdidn’tgetinmyhometown,everythingthecitymeanstothejays。
Well,I’vegottenoverallthat。I’mimproving,mindandbody,justtokeepmyselfinterestedinlife,tokeepmyselfyoungandcheerful。I’minterestedinmyself,inmyhouseandinwoman’ssuffrage。Notthatthewomenarefittovote。Theyaren’t,anymorethanthemen。ButwhatMAKESpeople?Why,responsibility。
ThatoldscampImarried——he’sdead。AndI’vegotthemoney,andeverything’sverycomfortablewithme。
Justthink,Ididn’thaveanylucktillIwasanoldmaidfargone。I’mnottellingmyage。Allmylifeithadrainedbadluck——pitchforks,tinesdown。Andwhy?’’
``Yes,why?’’saidMildred。Shedidnotunderstandhowitwas,butMrs。Bellocseemedtobesayingtheexactthingssheneededtohear。
``I’lltellyouwhy。BecauseIdidn’twork。Drudgingalongisn’tworkanymorethandawdlingalong。
Workmeanspurpose,meanshead。Andmyluckbeganjustasanybody’sdoes——whenIroseupandgotbusy。Youmaysayitwasn’tverycreditable,thewayIbegan。butitwasthebest_I_coulddo。Iknowitisn’tgoodmorals,butI’mwillingtobetthatmanyamanhaslaidthefoundationsofabigfinecareerbydoingsomethingthatwasn’tatallniceorright。Hehadtodoit,to`getthrough。’Ifhehadn’tdoneit,he’dneverhave`gotthrough。’Anyhow,whetherthat’ssoornot,everyone’sgottomakeafighttobreakintothepartoftheworldwhereliving’sreallyworthliving。ButI
needn’ttellYOUthat。You’redoingit。’’
``No,I’mnot,’’repliedMildred。``I’mashamedtosayso,butI’mnot。I’vebeenbluffing——andwastingtime。’’
``That’sbad,that’sbad,’’saidMrs。Belloc。
``Especially,asyou’vegotitinyoutogetthere。What’sbeenthetrouble?Thewrongkindofassociations?’’
``Partly,’’saidMildred。
Mrs。Belloc,watchingherinterestedly,suddenlylightedup。``Whynotcomebackheretolive?’’saidshe。``Now,pleasedon’trefusetillIexplain。YourememberwhatkindofpeopleIhadhere?’’
Mildredsmiled。``Rather——unconventional?’’
``That’spolite。Well,I’vecleared’emout。NotthatImindedtheirunconventionality。Ilikedit。Itwassodifferentfromthestraight-jacketsandthehypocrisyI’dbeenlivingamongandhating。ButIsoonfoundoutthat——well,MissStevens,theaveragehumanbeingoughttobeprettyconventionalinhismoralsofacertainkind。Ifhe——orSHE——isn’t,theybegintogetunconventionalineveryway——aboutpayingtheirbills,forinstance,andaboutdrinking。Igotsickandtiredofthosepeople。So,Iput’emallout——madeasweep。AndnowI’vebecomequiteasrespectableasIcaretobe——orasisnecessary。Thecouplesinthehousearemarried,andthey’renicepeopleofgoodfamilies。ItwasMrs。Dyckman——she’sgotthewholesec-
ondfloorfront,sheandherhusbandandthedaughter——itwasMrs。Dyckmanwhointerestedmeinthesuffragemovement。Youmusthearherspeak。Andthedaughterdoeswellatit,too——andkeepsafashionablemillinery-shop——andshe’sonlytwenty-four。Thenthere’sNoraBlond。’’
``Theactress?’’
``Theactress。She’sthequietest,hardest-workingpersonhere。She’sgotthewholefirstfloorfront。
Nobodyevercomestoseeher,exceptonSundayafternoon。
Sheleadsthequeerestlife。’’
``Tellmeaboutthat,’’saidMildred。
``Idon’tknowmuchaboutit,’’confessedMrs。
Belloc。``She’sregularasaclock——doeseverythingontime,andatthesametime。Twomealsaday——oneofthemadrylittlebreakfastshegetsherself。Walks,fencing,athletics,study。’’
``Whatslavery!’’
``She’sthehappiestpersonIeversaw,’’retortedMrs。
Belloc。``Why,she’sgotherwork,hercareer。Youdon’tlookatitright,MissStevens。Youdon’tlookhappy。What’sthematter?Isn’titbecauseyouhaven’tbeenworkingright——becauseyou’vebeendoingtheseallegedpleasantthingsthatleaveabadtasteinyourmouthandweakenyou?I’llbet,ifyouhadbeenworkinghard,you’dnotbeunhappynow。Bettercomeheretolive。’’
``Willyouletmetellyouaboutmyself?’’
``Gorightahead。MayIaskquestions,whereI
wanttoknowmore?Idohatetogetthingshalfway。’’
Mildredfreelygaveherleave,thenproceededtotellherwholestory,omittingnothingthatwasessentialtoanunderstanding。Inconclusionshesaid:``I’dliketocome。Yousee,I’veverylittlemoney。Whenit’sgone,I’llgo,unlessImakesomemore。’’
``Yes,youmustcome。ThatMrs。Brindleyseemstobeanicewoman,amightynicewoman。Butherhouse,andthepeoplethatcomethere——theyaren’ttherightsortforagirlthat’smakingastart。Icangiveyouaroomonthetopfloor——infront。Theyoungladynexttoyouisaclerkinanarchitect’soffice,andafinegirlsheis。’’
``Howmuchdoesshepay?’’saidMildred。
``Yourroomwon’tbequiteasniceashers。Iputyouatthetopbecauseyoucansingupthere,partofthemorningsandpartoftheafternoons,withoutdisturbinganybody。Idon’thaveageneraltableanymore。Youcantakeyourmealsinyourroomorattherestaurantintheapartment-housenextdoor。It’sgoodandquitereasonable。’’
``Howmuchfortheroom?’’persistedMildred,laughing。
``Sevendollarsaweek,andtheuseofthebath。’’
Mildredfinallywrungfromherthattherightpricewastwelvedollarsaweek,andinsistedonpayingthat——``untilmymoneygetslow。’’
``Don’tworryaboutthat,’’saidMrs。Belloc。
``Youmustn’tweakenme,’’criedMildred。``Youmustn’tencouragemetobeacowardandtoshirk。
That’swhyI’mcominghere。’’
``Iunderstand,’’saidMrs。Belloc。``I’vegottheNewEnglandstreakofhardnessinme,thoughI
believethatmasseusehasalmostironeditoutofmyface。
DoIlooklikeaNewEnglandschoolmarm?’’
Mildredcouldtruthfullyanswerthattherewasn’tatraceofit。
WhenshereturnedtoMrs。Brindley’s——alreadyshehadceasedtothinkofitashome——sheannouncedhernewplans。Mrs。Brindleysaidnothing,butMildredunderstoodthequicktighteningofthelinesroundhermouthandtheshiftingoftheeyes。ShehastenedtoexplainthatMrs。Bellocwasnolongerthesortofwomanorthesortoflandladyshehadbeenafewmonthsbefore。Mrs。BrindleyoftheolderNewYork,couldneitherunderstandnorbelieveinthepeopleofthenewandrealNewYorkwhomitmoldsforbetterorforworsesorapidly——andevenremoldsagainandagain。ButMildredwasabletosatisfyherthatthehousewasatleastnotsuspicious。
``Itdoesn’tmatterwhereyou’regoing,’’saidMrs。
Brindley。``It’sthatyouaregoing。Ican’tbeargivingyouup。Ihadhopedthatourliveswouldflowonandontogether。’’Shewaswithdifficultycontrollingheremotions。``It’stheseseparationsthatageone,thattakeone’slife。IalmostwishIhadn’tmetyou。’’
Mildredwasmoved,herself。NotsomuchasMrs。
Brindleybecauseshehadthenecessitiesofhercareergrippingherandclaimingthestrongestfeelingstherewereinher。Also,shewasmuchtheyounger,notmerelyinyearsbutinexperience。Andseparationshavenorealpoignancyinthemforyouth``Yes,Iknowyouloveme,’’saidCyrilla,``butlovedoesn’tmeantoyouwhatitmeanstome。I’minthatmiddleperiodoflifewhereeverythinghasitsfullestmeaning。Inyouthwe’reeasilyconsoledanddistractedbecauselifeseemssofullofpossibilities,andwecan’tbelievefriendshipandlovearerare,andstillmorerarelyworthwhile。Inoldage,whenthearterieshardenandthebloodflowsslowandcold,webecomeindifferent。
Butbetweenthirty-fiveandfifty-fivehowtheheartcanache!’’Shesmiled,withtremblinglips。``Andhowitcanrejoice!’’shecriedbravely。``Imustnotforgettomentionthat。Ah,mydear,youmustlearntoliveintensely。IfIhadhadyourchance!’’
``Ridiculous!’’laughedMildred。``Youtalklikeanoldwoman。AndIneverthinkofyouasolderthanmyself。’’
``IAManoldwoman,’’saidCyrilla。And,withatighteningattheheartMildredsaw,deepinthedepthsofhereyes,thelookofoldage。``I’vefoundthatI’mtoooldforlove——forman-and-womanlove——andthatmeansI’manoldwoman。’’
Mildredfeltthattherewasonlyathinbarrierofreservebetweenherandsomesadsecretofthisstrange,shy,lovingwoman’s——abarriersothinthatshecouldalmosthearthestifledmoanofabrokenheart。Butthebarrierremained。itwouldhavebeenimpossibleforCyrillaBrindleytotalkfranklyaboutherself。
WhenMildredcameoutofherroomthenextmorning,Cyrillahadgone,leavinganote:
Ican’tbeargood-bys。Besides,we’llseeeachotherverysoon。Forgivemeforshrinking,butreallyIcan’t。
BeforenightMildredwassettledinthenewplaceandthenewroom,withnosenseofstrangeness。Shewasreproachingherselfforhardness,fornotcaringaboutCyrilla,thebestandtruestfriendshehadeverhad。
Butthetruthlayinquiteadifferentdirection。Thehouse,thesurroundings,whereshehadlivedluxuriously,dreamingherfoolishandfatuousdreams,wasnottheplaceforsuchastruggleaswasnowuponher。
Andforthatstruggleshepreferred,tosensitive,sober,refined,impracticalCyrillaBrindley,thecompanionshipandthesympathy,thepracticalsympathy,ofAgnesBelloc。NooneneedbeashamedornervousbeforeAgnesBellocaboutbeingpoororunsuccessfulorhavingtoresorttoshabbymakeshiftsorhavingtoendurecoarsecontacts。Cyrillarepresentedrefinement,appreciationofthefinishedwork——luxuriousandsterileappreciationandenjoyment。Agnesrepresentedtheworkshop——whereallthedoersofallthatisdoneliveandwork。Mildredwasdescendingfromtheheightswherelivethosewhohavegraduatedfromthelotofthehumanraceandhavelostallthatsuperficialorcasualresemblancetothatrace。Shewasgoingdowntolivewiththerace,toshareinitslot。ShewasgladAgnesBellocwastobethere。
Generalizingaboutsuchahaphazardconglomerateashumannatureishighlyunsatisfactory,butitmaybecautiouslyventuredthatinNewEngland,asinoldEngland,thereisacuriouslycontradictorywayofdealingwithconventionality。Nowhereisconventionalitymoreinreverence。yetwhenaNew-Englander,manorwoman,happenstoelecttobreakwithit,nowhereisthebreaksoutterandsodefiant。IfAgnesBelloc,cutloosefromtheconventionsthathadboundherfromchildhoodtowellintomiddlelife,hadremainedathome,nodoubtshewouldhavespentalargepartofhernightsinthinkingoutwaysofemployingherdaysinoutragingtheconventionalitiesbeforeherhorrifiedandinfuriatedneighbors。ButofwhatuseinNewYorktocuffandspitupondeitiesreveredbyonlyaninsignificantclass——andonlyofficiallyreveredbythatclass?
AgneshadsoonseenthattherewasnoamusementorinterestwhateverinanenterprisewhichinherNewEnglandhomewouldhavefilledherlifetothebrimwithexcitement。Also,shesawthatshewaswellintothattimeoflifewheretheabsenceofreputationinawomanendangershercomfort,makesherliabletobeleftalone——notdespisedanddenounced,butsimplyavoidedandignored。SoshewastellingMildredtheexacttruth。
Shehadlaiddownthearmsshehadtakenupagainstthesocialsystem,andhadcomein——andwasfightingitfromthesaferandwiserinside。Shestillinsistedthatawomanhadthesamerightsasaman。butshetookcaretomakeitclearthatsheclaimedthoserightsonlyforothers,thatsheneitherexercisedthemnorcaredforthemforherself。Andtomakeherpropagandathemoreeffective,shewasnotonlycircumspectherself,butwasexceedinglycarefultobesurroundedbycircumspectpeople。Noonecouldcitehercaseasproofthatwomanwouldexpandlibertyintolicense。Intheorytherewasnothinglivelythatshedidnotlookuponatleastwithtolerance。inpractice,moreandmoreshedislikedseeingoneofhersexdoanythingthatmightcausetheworldtosay``womanwouldabuselibertyifshehadit。’’``Sensiblepeople,’’shenowsaid,``doastheylike。Buttheydon’tgivefoolsachancetotitterandchatter。’’
AgnesBellocwastypical——certainlyofalargeandgrowingclassinthisday——ofthedecayofancienttemplesandthedeclineoftheold-fashionedidealismthatmademenfancytheylivednoblybecausetheyprofessedandbelievednobly。Shehadnoethicalstandards。Shesimplymeteachsituationasitaroseanddealtwithitascommonsenseseemedinthatparticularinstancetodictate。Forathousandyearsgeniushasbeenstrivingwiththehumanracetoinduceittoabandonitssuperstitionsandhypocrisiesandtodefycommonsense,soadaptable,sotolerant,soconducivetolongandhealthyandhappylife。Grosslymaterialistic,butalluringlycomfortable。Whetherforgoodorforevilorforbothgoodandevil,thegeniusesseeminafairwayatlasttoprevailovertheidealists,religiousandpolitical。
AndMrs。Belloc,withoutintheleastrealizingit,wasamostsignificantsignofthetimes。
``Yourthroatseemstobebetterto-day,’’saidshetoMildredatbreakfast。``Thosesimplehouse-remediesItriedonyoulastnightseemtohavedonesomegood。
Nothinglikeheat——hotwater——andnoeating。Themainthingwasdoingwithoutdinnerlastnight。’’
``Mynervesarequieter,’’advancedMildredasthelikelierexplanationofthereturnofthesoulofmusictoitsseat。``Andmymind’satrest。’’
``Yes,that’sgood,’’saidplainAgnesBelloc。``Butgettingthestomachstraightandkeepingitstraight’sthemainthing。Myoldgrandmothercouldeatanythinganddoanything。I’veseenherputinaglassofmilkorasaucerofice-creamontopofatomato-salad。
Thewayshekeptwellwas,whenevershebegantofeeltheleastbitoff,shestoppedeating。Notabitewouldshetouchtillshefeltwellagain。’’
Mildred,movedbyanimpulsestrongerthanherinclination,producedtheKeithpaper。``Iwishyou’dreadthis,andtellmewhatyouthinkofit。You’vegotsomuchcommonsense。’’
Agnesreaditthroughtotheend,beganatthebeginningandreaditthroughagain。``Thatsoundsgoodtome,’’saidshe。``Iwanttothinkitover。Ifyoudon’tmindI’dliketoshowittoMissBlond。Sheknowsalotaboutthosethings。Isupposeyou’regoingtoseeMr。Crossleyto-day?——that’sthemusicalmanager’sname,isn’tit?’’
``I’mgoingateleven。Thatisn’ttooearly,isit?’’
``IfIwereyou,I’dgoassoonasIwasdressedforthestreet。Andifyoudon’tgettoseehim,waittillyoudo。Don’ttalktounder-staffers。Alwaysgostraightfortheheadman。You’vegotsomethingthat’sworthhiswhile。Howdidhegettobeheadman?
Becauseheknowsagoodthingtheminuteheseesit。Theunderfellowsareusuallyunderbecausetheyaresotakenupwiththemselvesandwithimpressingpeoplehowgrandtheyarethattheydon’tseeanythingelse。
So,whenyoutalktothem,youwearyourselfoutandwasteyourtime。’’
``There’sonlyonethingthatmakesmenervous,’’
saidMildred。``EveryoneI’veevertalkedwithaboutgoingonthestage——everyonewhohastalkedcandidly——hassaid——’’
``Yes,Iknow,’’saidMrs。Belloc,asMildredpausedtosearchforsmooth-soundingwordsinwhichtodress,withoutdisguising,adistinctlyuglyidea。``I’veheardthat,too。Idon’tknowwhetherthere’sanythinginitornot。’’ShelookedadmiringlyatMildred,whothatmorningwascertainlylovelyenoughtotemptanyman。
``Ifthereisanythinginit,why,IreckonYOU’Dbeupagainstit。That’stheworstofhavingmenatthetopinanytradeandprofession。Awoman’sgottogetherchancethroughsomeman,andifhedon’tchoosetoletherhaveit,she’slikelytofail。’’
Mildredshowedhowthisdepressedher。
``Butdon’tyoufretaboutthattillyouhaveto,’’
advisedMrs。Belloc。``I’veanotionthat,evenifit’strue,itmaynotapplytoyou。Whereawomanoffersforaplacethatshecanfillaboutaswellasahundredotherwomen,she’sattheman’smercy。butifsheknowsthatshe’sfarandawaythebestfortheplace,Idon’tthinkaman’sgoingtostandinhisownlight。LethimseethathecanmakemoneythroughYOU,moneyhewon’tmakeifhedon’tgetyou。Then,Idon’tthinkyou’llhaveanytrouble。’’
ButMildred’sdepressiondidnotdecrease。``Ifmyvoicecouldonlybereliedon!’’sheexclaimed。``Isn’titexasperatingthatI’vegotadelicatethroat!’’
``It’salwayssomething,’’saidMrs。Belloc。``Onething’saboutasbadasanother,andanythingcanbeovercome。’’
``No,notinmycase,’’saidMildred。``Thepeculiarqualityofmyvoice——whatmakesitunusual——isduetothedelicatenessofmythroat。’’
``Maybeso,’’saidMrs。Belloc。
``Ofcourse,Icanalwayssing——afterafashion,’’
continuedMildred。``Buttobereallyvaluableonthestageyou’vegottobeablealwaystosingatyourbest。
SoI’mafraidI’mintheclassofthosewho’llsuit,oneaboutaswellasanother。’’
``You’vegottogetoutofthatclass,’’saidMrs。
Belloc。``Themeninthatclass,andthewomen,havetodoanydirtyworkthebossseesfittogive’em——andnotmuchpay,either。Letmetellyouonething,MissStevens。Ifyoucan’tgetamongthefewatthetopinthesinginggame,youmustlookroundforsomegamewhereyoucanhopetobeamongthefew。NomatterWHATitis。Byusingyourbrainsandworkinghard,there’ssomethingyoucandobetterthanprettynearlyanybodyelsecanorwilldoit。Youfindthat。’’
Thewordssankin,sankdeep。Mildred,senseofhersurroundingslost,wasgazingstraightaheadwithanexpressionthatgaveMrs。Bellochopeandevenacertainamountofconfidence。Therewasadistinctadvance。for,aftershereflecteduponallthatMildredhadtoldher,littleofherformeropinionofMildred’schancesforsuccesshadremainedbutahopedetainednotwithoutdifficulty。Mrs。Bellocknewthehumanraceunusuallywellforawoman——unusuallywellforahumanbeingofwhateversexorexperience。Shehaddiscoveredhowrareisthetemperament,thecombinationofintelligenceandtenacity,thatmakesforsuccess。
Shehadlearnedthatmostpeople,judgedbyanystand-
ard,werealmosttotalfailures,thatmostofthemoreorlesssuccessfulweresomerelybecausetheworldhadanenormousamountofimportantworktobedone,eventhoughhalf-way,andhadnoonebutthosehalf-
competentstodoit。Asincompetenceinamanwouldbetoleratedwhereitwouldnotbeinawoman,obviouslyawoman,togeton,musthavetherealtemperamentofsuccess。
ShenowknewenoughaboutMildredtobeableto``place’’herinthe``lady’’class——thosebroughtupnotonlyknowinghowtodonothingwithamoneyvalueexceptlawfulorunlawfulman-trapping,butalsotrainedtoasensitivenessandrefinementandfalseshameaboutworkthatmadeitexceedinglydifficultifnotimpossibleforthemtolearnusefulness。SheknewallMildred’shandicaps,boththosethegirlwasconsciousofandthosefarheavieroneswhichshefatuouslyregardedasadvantages。HowwasMildredevertolearntodismissanddisregardherselfastheprettywomanofgoodsocialposition,anobjectofadmirationandconsideration?Mildred,inthebottomofherheart,wasregardingherselfasalreadysuccessful——successfulatthehighestawomancanachieveoroughttoaspiretoachieve——wasregardinghercareer,howevershemighttalkormightfancyshebelieved,asamerelivelihood,asideissue。Shewouldbeperhapsmorethanalittleashamedofherstageconnections,shouldshemakeany,untilsheshouldbeattheverytop——
andhowgettothetopwhenoneisworkingunderthehandicapofshame?Aboveall,howwasthisindulgentlyandshelteredlyrearedladytobecomeawork-
ingwoman,livingaroutinelife,toilingawaydayinanddayout,withnoletup,permittingnooneandnothingtobreakherroutine?``Really,’’thoughtAgnesBelloc,``sheoughttohavemarriedthatBairdman——orstayedonwiththenastygeneral。Iwonderwhyshedidn’t!That’stheonlythingthatgivesmehope。Theremustbesomethinginher——somethingthatdon’tappear——somethingshedoesn’tknowabout,herself。Whatisit?Maybeitwasonlyvanityandvacillation。Again,Idon’tknow。’’
ThedifficultyMrs。BelloclaboredunderinherattempttoexploreandmapMildredGowerwasadifficultywealllaborunderinthosesameenterprises。Wecannotconvinceourselves——inspiteofexperienceafterexperience——thatahumancharacterisneverconsistentandhomogeneous,isalwaysconglomerate,thattherearenotwotraits,howevernaturallyexclusive,whichcannotcoexistinthesamepersonality,thatcircumstanceisthedominatingfactorinhumanactionandbringsforwardasdominantcharacteristicsnowonetraitorsetoftraits,consistentorinconsistent,andnowanother。TheAlexanderwhowasAristotle’smodelpupilwasthesameAlexanderasthedrunkendebaucher。
Indeed,mayitnotbethatthecharacterswhichplaythelargepartsinthecomedyoflifearenaturallythosethatoffertotheshiftingwindsofcircumstancesthegreatestvarietyofstronglydevelopedandcontradictoryqualities?Forexample,ifitwasMildred’slatentcouragerescuedherfromSiddall,wasitnotherstrongtendencytovacillationthatsavedherfromalovelessandmercenarymarriagetoStanleyBaird?Perhapsthedeepunderlyingtruthisthatallunusualpeoplehaveincommonthecharacterthatcentersapowerfulaversiontostagnation。thus,nowbytheirstrongqualities,nowbytheirweaknesses,theyaresweptinevitablyonandonandeveron。Goodto-day,badto-morrow,goodagainthedayafter,weakinthisinstance,stronginthat,nowbraveandnowcowardly,softatonetime,hardatanother,generousandthereversebyturns,theyareconsistentonlyinthattheyareneveratrest,butincessantlyandinevitablygo。
Mildredreluctantlyrose,movedtowardthedoorwithlingeringstep。``IguessI’dbettermakeastart,’’
saidshe。
``That’sthetalk,’’saidMrs。Bellocheartily。Buttheaffectionateglanceshesentafterthegirlwasdubious——
evenpitying。
IX
TWOminutes’walkthroughtoBroadway,andshewasatherdestination。There,ontheothersideoftheway,stoodtheGayetyTheater,withtheofficesofMr。
ClarenceCrossleyoverlookingtheintersectionofthetwostreets。Crossleywasintrenchedintheremotestofaseriesofrooms,eachtenantedbyunder-staffersofdiminishingimportanceasyoudrewwayfromthegreatman。Itwasnexttoimpossibletogetathim——
acauseofmuchsneeringanddissatisfactionintheatricalcircles。Crossley,theysaid,wasexclusive,hadtheswollenhead,hadforgottenthatonlyafewyearsbeforehehadbeenacheaplittleticket-sellergratefulforabowfromanyactorwhohadeverhadhisnameup。Crossleyinsistedthathewasnotavictimoffoliedegrandeur,that,onthecontrary,hehadbecomelessvainashehadrisen,wherehecouldseehowtrivialathingrisingwasandhowaccidental。Saidhe:
``WhydoIshutmyselfin?BecauseI’mwhatIam——agoodthing,easyfruit。YousaythatmenahundredtimesbiggerthanI’lleverbedon’tshutthemselvesup。YousaythatMountain,thebiggestfinancierinthecountry,sitsrightoutwhereanybodycangouptohim。Yes,butwho’ddaregouptohim?It’sgenerallyknownthathe’sacannibal,thathekillshisownfoodandeatsitwarmandraw。Sohecanaffordtositintheopen。IfIdidthat,allmytimeandallmymoneywouldgotothecheap-skateswithhard-lucktales。Idon’thidebecauseI’mhaughty,butbecauseI’mweakandsoft。’’
InappearanceMr。Crossleydidnotsuggesthisname。
Hewasatallish,powerful-lookingpersonwithasmooth,handsome,audaciousface,withfine,laughing,butsomehowuntrustworthyeyes——atleastuntrustworthyforwomen,thoughwomenhadneverprofitedbythewarning。Hedressedinexcellenttaste,almostconspicuously,andthegayandexpensivedetailsofhistoiletsuggestedamangivenovertoliveliness。Asamatteroffact,thislivelinesswaspotentialratherthanactual。Mr。Crossleywasalwaysintendingtoresumethegiddywaysoftheyearsbeforehebecameagreatman,butwasalwayssofarbehindintheimportantthingstobedoneanddoneatoncethathewasforcedtoputoff。However,hisnecktiesandhisshirtsandhisflirtations,untrustworthyeyeskepthimareputationforbeingoneoftheworstcasesinBroadway。Invaindidhisachievementsshowthathecouldnotpossiblyhavetimeorstrengthforanythingbutwork。Helookedlikearounder。hewasinabusinessthatgaveendlessdazzlingopportunitiesforthelivelylife。arounderhewas,therefore。
Hewasaboutforty。Atfirstglance,sovividandenergeticwashe,helookedlikethirty-five,butatsecondglanceonesawthelines,theunderlyingmelancholysignsofstrain,theheavypricehehadpaidforphenomenalsuccesswonbyaseriesofthesortofrisksthatmakethehairfallasautumnleavesonawindydayandmakesuchhairsasstickturnrapidlygray。Thus,thereweremanywhothoughtCrossleywasthroughvanityshyofthetruthbyfiveorsixyearswhenhesaidforty。
InordinarycircumstancesMildredwouldneverhavegotatCrossley。Thiswasthefirstbusinesscallofherlifewhereshehadcomeasanunknownandunsupportedsuitor。HerreceptionwouldhavebeensuchatthehandsofCrossley’sinsolentandill-manneredunderlingsthatshewouldhavefledinshameandconfusion。
Itisevenwellwithinthepossibilitiesthatshewouldhavegivenupallideaofacareer,wouldhavesentforBaird,andsoon。Andnotoneofthosewho,timidandinexperienced,havesufferedruderebuffattheirfirstadvance,wouldhavecondemnedher。Butitsochanced——whetherbygoodfortuneorbyilltheeventwastotell——thatshedidnothavetofaceasingleunderling。
Thehalldoorwasopen。Sheentered。Ithappenedthatwhileshewascomingupintheelevatoraquarrelbetweenamotormanandadriverhadheatedintoafight,intoasmallriot。Alltheunderlingshadrushedoutonabalconythatcommandedasuperbviewofthebattle。Theconnectingdoorswereopen。
Mildredadvancedfromroomtoroom,seekingsomeonewhowouldtakehercardtoMr。Crossley。Whensheatlastfacedacloseddoorsheknocked。
``Come!’’criedapleasantvoice。
Andinshewent,tofaceCrossleyhimself——Crossley,the``weakandsoft,’’caughtbehindhislastentrenchmentwithnochancetoescape。HadMildredlookedtheusualsortwhocomelookingforjobsinmusicalcomedy,Mr。Crossleywouldnothaverisen——notbe-
causehewassnobbish,butbecause,beingasensitive,high-strungperson,heinstinctivelyadoptedthemannerthatwouldputthepersonbeforehimatease。HeglancedatMildred,rose,andthrustbackforthwiththeslangy,offhandpersonalitythatwasperhapsthemostnatural——orwasitmerelythemostused?——ofhismanypersonalities。ItwasCrossleythemanoftheworld,themanoftheartisticworld,whodelightedMildredwithacourteousbowandofferofachair,ashesaid:
``Youwishedtoseeme?’’
``IfyouareMr。Crossley,’’saidMildred。
``IshouldbetemptedtosayIwas,ifIwasn’t,’’
saidhe,andhismannermadeitamerepleasantrytoputheratease。
``Therewasnooneintheoutsideroom,soIwalkedonandonuntilyourdoorstoppedme。’’
``You’llneverknowhowluckyyouwere,’’saidhe。
``Theytellmethosefellowsouttherehaveshockingmanners。’’
``Haveyoutimetoseemenow?I’vecometoapplyforapositioninmusicalcomedy。’’
``Youhavenotbeenonthestage,Miss——’’
``Gower。MildredGower。I’vedecidedtousemyownname。’’
``Iknowyouhavenotbeenonthestage。’’
``Exceptasanamateur——andnoteventhatforseveralyears。ButI’vebeenworkingatmyvoice。’’
Crossleywasstudyingher,asshestoodtalking——
shehadrefusedthechair。Hewasmorethanfavorablyimpressed。ButthedecidingelementwasnotMildred’sexcellentfigureorhercharmofmannerorhersweetandlovelyface。Itwassuperstition。JustatthattimeCrossleyhadbeenabruptlydesertedbyEstelleHoward。insteadofgoingonwiththerehearsalsof``TheFullMoon,’’inwhichshewastobestarred,shehadrushedawaytoEuropewithaviolinistwithwhomshehadfalleninloveatthefirstrehearsal。
Crossleywaslookingaboutforsomeonetotakeherplace。Hehadbeenentrenchedinthoseofficesfornearlyfiveyears。inallthattimenotasinglesoulofthedesperatecrowdsthatdoggedhimhadbrokenthroughhisguard。Crossleywasassuperstitiousaswaseveryoneelsewhohastodowiththestage。
``Whatkindofavoice?’’askedhe。
``Lyricsoprano。’’
``Youhavemusicthere。What?’’
```BattiBatti’andalittlesonginEnglish——`TheRoseandtheBee。’’’
Crossleyforgothismanners,turnedhisbacksquarelyuponher,thrusthishandsdeepintohistrouserspockets,andstaredoutthroughthewindow。Hepresentlywheeledround。Shewouldnothavethoughthiseyescouldbesokeen。Saidhe:``Youwerestudyingforgrandopera?’’
``Yes。’’
``Whydoyoudropitandtakeupthis?’’
``Nomoney,’’repliedshe。``I’vegottomakemylivingatonce。’’
``Well,let’ssee。Comewithme,please。’’
Theywentoutbyadoorintothehall,wentbacktotherearofthebuilding,inatanirondoor,downaflightofsteepironskeletonstepsdimlylighted。
Mildredhadoftenbeenbehindthescenesinheramateurtheatricaldays。butevenifshehadnot,shewouldhaveknownwhereshewas。Crossleycalled,``Moldini!
Moldini!’’
Thenamewascaughtupbyothervoicesandrepeatedagainandagain,moreandmoreremotely。A
moment,andasmalldarkmanwithasuperabundanceofgreasydarkhairappeared。``MissGower,’’saidCrossley,``thisisSignorMoldini。Hewillplayyouraccompaniments。’’ThentothelittleItalian,``Pianoonthestage?’’
``Yes,sir。’’
ToMildredwithasmile,``Willyoutry?’’
Shebentherhead。Shehadnovoice——notforsong,notforspeech,notevenforamonosyllable。
CrossleytookMoldiniasidewhereMildredcouldnothear。``Mollie,’’saidhe,``thisgirlcreptuponme,andI’vegottogiveheratrial。Asyousee,she’salady,andyouknowwhattheyare。’’
``Punk,’’saidMoldini。
Crossleynodded。``Sheseemsanicesort,soIwanttoletherdowneasy。I’llsitbackinthehouse,inthedark。Runherthroughthat`BattiBatti’thingshe’sgotwithher。Ifshe’splainlyonthefritz,I’lllightacigarette。IfIdon’tlightup,trytheothersongshehas。IfIstilldon’tlightupmakehergothroughthat`Ah,wereyouhere,love,’fromthepiece。ButifIlightup,itmeansthatI’mgoingtolightout,andthatyou’retogetridofher——tellherwe’llletherknowifshe’llleaveheraddress。Youunderstand?’’
``Perfectly。’’
Farfrombeingthrilledandinspired,hersurroundingsmadehersickatheart——thechill,thedampness,thebarewalls,thedim,drearylights,thecoarsely-
paintedflats——Atlastshewasonthethresholdofherchosenprofession。Whataprofessionforsuchapersonasshehadalwaysbeen!ShestoodbesideMoldini,seatedatthepiano。Shegazedatthedarkness,somewhereinwhosedepthsCrossleywashidden。Afterseveralfalsestartsshesangthe``BattiBatti’’through,sangitatrociously——notlikeapoorprofessional,butlikeapretentiousamateur,areversiontoamannerofsingingshehadoncehad,buthadlongsincegotridof。
Shepausedattheend,appalledbythesilence,bytheawfulnessofherownperformance。
Fromthedarknessaslightclick。Ifshehadknown!——
for,itwasCrossley’smatch-safe。
Thesound,slightyetsoclear,startledher,rousedher。Shecalledout:``Mr。Crossley,won’tyoupleasebepatientenoughtoletmetrythatagain?’’
Abriefhesitation,then:``Certainly。’’
Oncemoreshebegan。Butthistimetherewasnohesitation。FromfirsttolastshediditasJenningshadcoachedher,diditwithallthebeautyandenergyofherreallylovelyvoice。Assheended,Moldinisaidinaquietbutintenseundertone:``Bravo!Bravo!
Freshasabirdonabrightspringmorning。’’Andfromthedarknesscame:``Ah——that’sbetter,MissGower。Thatwasprofessionalwork。Nowfortheother。’’
Thusencouragedandwithhervoicewellwarmed,shecouldnotbutmakeasuccessofthesongthatwasnearertowhatwouldbeexpectedofherinmusicalcomedy。
Crossleycalledout:``Now,thesightsinging,Moldini。
Idon’texpectyoutodothiswell,MissGower。Isimplywishtogetanideaofhowyou’ddoapiecewehaveinrehearsal。’’
``You’llhavenotroublewiththis,’’saidMoldini,asheopenedthecomedysongupontherackwithacontemptuouswhirl。``It’stheeasyshowystuffthatsuitsthetiredbusinessmanandhislaced-inwife。Goatitandyell。’’
Mildredglancedthroughit。Therewasasubtlesomethingintheatmospherenowthatputheratherease。Shereadthewordsaloud,laughingattheirsillysentimentality,sheandMoldiniandCrossleymakingjokesaboutit。Soonshesaid:``I’mready。’’
Shesangitwell。Sheaskedthemtolethertryitagain。Andthesecondtime,withthewordsinhermindandthesimplemelody,shewasabletoputexpressionintoitandtoindicate,withrestraint,theaction。Crossleycamedowntheaisle。
``Whatdoyouthink,Mollie?’’hesaidtoMoldini。
``Wemighttestheratafewrehearsals。’’
Crossleymeeklyacceptedthesalutarycheckonhisenthusiasm。``Doyouwishtotry,MissGower?’’
Mildredwassilent。Sheknewnowthesortofpieceinwhichshewastoappear。Shehadseenafewofthem,thosecheapandvulgarfarceswiththeirthinmusic,theirmorethandubious-lookingpeople。Whatacome-down!Whatadegradation!ItwasasbadinitswayasbeingthewifeofGeneralSiddall。Andshewastodothis,inpreferencetomarryingStanleyBaird。
``Youwillbepaid,ofcourse,duringrehearsal。thatis,aslongaswearetakingyourtime。Fiftydollarsaweekisaboutasmuchaswecanafford。’’Crossleywaswatchinghershrewdly,wasadvancingtheseremarksinresponsetothehesitationhesawsoplainly。
``Ofcourseitisn’tgrandopera,’’hewenton。``Infact,it’sprettylow——almostaslowasthepublictaste。
Yousee,wearen’tsubsidizedbymillionaireswhowantpeopletothinkthey’reartistic,sowehavetohustletoseparatethepublicfromitsmoney。Butifyoumakeahit,youcanearnenoughtoputyouintograndoperainfinestyle。’’
``Ineverheardofanyone’sgraduatingfromhereintograndopera,’’saidMildred。
``Becauseourstarsmakesomuchmoneyandmakeitsoeasily。It’llbeyourownfaultifyoudon’t。’’
``Can’tIcometojustonerehearsal——toseewhetherIcan——candoit?’’pleadedMildred。
Crossley,madethemoreeagerandthemoresuperstitiousbythisunprecedentedreluctance,shookhishead。
``No。Youmustagreetostayaslongaswewantyou,’’saidhe。``Wecan’tallowourselvestobetrifledwith。’’
``Verywell,’’saidMildredresignedly。``Iwillrehearseaslongasyouwantme。’’
``Andwillstayfortherunofthepiece,ifwewantthat?’’saidCrossley。``Youtogetahundredaweekifyouareputinthecast。More,ofcourse,ifyoumakeahit。’’
``YoumeanI’mtosignacontract?’’criedMildredindismay。
``Exactly,’’saidCrossley。Atrulyamazingperformance。Moldiniwasnotastonished,however,forhehadheardthesongs,andheknewCrossley’sdifficultiesthroughEstelleHoward’sflight。Also,heknewCrossley——
neverso``weakandsoft’’thathetrifledwithunlikelycandidatesforhisproductions。Crossleyhadgotupbecauseheknewwhattodoandwhentodoit。
Mildredacquiesced。Beforeshewasfreetogointothestreetagain,shehadsignedapaperthatboundhertorehearseforthreeweeksatfiftydollarsaweekandtostayonatahundreddollarsaweekforfortyweeksortherunof``TheFullMoon,’’ifCrossleysodesired。
ifhedidnot,shewasfreeattheendoftherehearsals。
Ashrewdlyone-sidedcontract。ButCrossleytoldhimselfhewouldcorrectit,ifsheshouldbysomeremotechancebegoodenoughforthepartandshouldmakeahitinit。Thiswasnomeresalvetoconscience,bytheway。Crossleywouldnotbefoolishenoughtogiveasuccessfulstarjustcausefordislikinganddistrustinghimandattheearliestopportunityleavinghimtomakemoneyforsomerivalmanager。
Mrs。Bellochadnotgoneout,hadbeenwaitinginafeverofanxiety。WhenMildredcameintohersitting-
roomwithagloomyfaceanddroppedtoachairasifherlasthopehadabandonedher,itwasallAgnesBelloccoulddotorestrainhertears。Saidshe:
``Don’tbefoolish,mydear。Youcouldn’texpectanythingtocomeofyourfirstattempt。’’
``Thatisn’tit,’’saidMildred。``IthinkI’llgiveitup——dosomethingelse。Grandopera’sbadenough。
TherewerealotofthingsaboutitthatIwasfightingmydistastefor。’’
``Iknow,’’saidAgnes。``Andyou’dbetterfightthemhard。They’reunworthyofyou。’’
``But——musicalcomedy!It’s——frightful!’’
``It’sanhonestwayofmakingaliving,andthat’smorethancanbesaidof——ofsomethings。Isupposeyou’reafraidyou’llhavetoweartights——orsomenonsenselikethat。’’
``No,no。It’sdoingitatall。Suchrottenmusic——andwhataloathsomemess!’’
Mrs。Belloc’seyesflashed。``I’mlosingallpatience!’’shecried。``Iknowyou’vebeenbroughtuplikeafoolandalwayssurroundedbyfools。Isupposeyou’drathersellyourselftosomeman。Doyouknowwhat’sthematterwithyou,atbottom?Why,you’relazyandyou’reacoward。Toolazytowork。Andafraidofwhatalotofcheapwomen’llsay——womenearningtheirboardandclothesinaboutthelowestwaysuchathingcanbedone。Haven’tyougotanyself-
respect?’’
Mildredrose。``Mrs。Belloc,’’shesaidangrily,``I
can’tpermitevenyoutosaysuchthingstome。’’
``Theshoeseemstofit,’’retortedMrs。Belloc。``I
neveryetsawalady,areal,silk-and-diamonds,sit-in-
the-parlorlady,whohadanyself-respect。IfIhadmywaytheywouldn’tgetamouthfultoeattilltheyhadearnedit。That’dbeasurecurefortheladydisease。I’mashamedofyou,MissStevens!Andyou’reashamedofyourself。’’
``Yes,Iam,’’saidMildred,withasuddenchangeofmood。
``Thebestthingyoucandoistoresttilllunch-time。
Thenstartoutafterlunchandhuntajob。I’llgowithyou。’’
``ButI’vegotajob,’’saidMildred。``That’swhat’sthematter。’’
AgnesBelloc’sjawdroppedandherratherheavyeyebrowsshotuptowardthelowsweepinglineofherauburnhair。ShemadesuchaludicrousfacethatMildredlaughedoutright。Saidshe:
``It’squitetime。Fiftyaweek,forthreeweeksofrehearsal。Nodoubt_I_cangoonifIlike。Nothingcouldbeeasier。’’
``Crossley?’’
``Yes。Hewasverynice——heardmesingthreepieces——anditwasallsettled。I’mtobeginto-morrow。’’
ThecolorroseinAgnesBelloc’sfaceuntilshelookedapoplectic。Sheabruptlyretreatedtoherbedroom。
Afterafewminutesshecameback,hernormalcomplexionrestored。``Icouldn’ttrustmyselftospeak,’’
saidshe。``ThatwastheworstcaseofingratitudeIevermetupwith。You,gettingaplaceatfiftydollarsaweek——andonyourfirsttrial——andyoucomeinlookingasifyou’dlostyourmoneyandyourreputation。Whatkindofagirlareyou,anyway?’’
``Idon’tknow,’’saidMildred。``IwishIdid。’’
``Well,I’msorryyougotitsoeasy。Nowyou’llhaveafalsenotionfromthestart。It’salwaysbettertohaveahardtimegettingthings。Thenyouappreciatethem,andhavelearnedhowtoholdon。’’
``Notroubleaboutholdingontothis,’’saidMildredcarelessly。
``Pleasedon’ttalkthatway,child,’’pleadedAgnes,almosttearful。``It’sfrightfultome,who’vehadexperience,tohearyouinviteafall-down。’’
Mildreddisdainfullyflutteredthetypewrittencopyofthemusicalcomedy。``Thisischild’splay,’’saidshe。
``Thelinesarebeneathcontempt。Asforthesongs,youneverheardsuchslop。’’
``Thestarsinthosepiecesgetfourandfivehundred,andmore,aweek,’’saidMrs。Belloc。``Believeme,thosemanagersdon’tpayoutanysuchsumsforchild’splay。Youlookout。You’regoingatthiswrong。’’
``Ishan’tcareifIdofail,’’saidMildred。
``Doyoumeanthat?’’demandedMrs。Belloc。
``No,Idon’t,’’saidMildred。``Oh,Idon’tknowwhatImean。’’
``Iguessyou’rejusttalking,’’saidMrs。Bellocafterareflectivesilence。``Iguessagirlwhogoesandgetsagoodjob,firstcrackoutofthebox,musthaveastreakofshrewdness。’’
``Ihopeso,’’saidMildreddoubtfully。
``Iguessyou’llworkhard,allright。Afteryouwentoutthismorning,ItookthatpaperdowntoMissBlond。She’scrazyaboutit。Shewantstomakeacopyofit。ItoldherI’daskyou。’’
``Certainly,’’saidMildred。
``Shesaysshe’llreturnitthesameday。’’
``Tellhershecankeepitaslongasshelikes。’’
Mrs。Belloceyedhergravely,startedtospeak,checkedherself。Instead,shesaid,``No,Ishan’tdothat。I’llhaveitbackinyourroombythisevening。
Youmightchangeyourmind,andwanttouseit。’’
``Verywell,’’saidMildred,pointedlyuninterestedandignoringMrs。Belloc’sdelicatebutdistinctemphasisupon``might。’’
Mrs。Bellockeptasuspiciouseyeuponher——aneyethatwasnoteasilydeceived。ThemoreshethoughtaboutMildred’sstateofdepressionanddisdainthemoretolerantshebecame。Thatmoodwasthenaturalandnecessaryresultofthegirl’sbringingupandmodeoflife。Theimportantthing——andthewonderfulthing——washerbeingabletoovercomeit。Afteraweekofrehearsalshesaid:``I’mmakingthebestofit。ButIdon’tlikeit,andnevershall。’’
``Ishouldhopenot,’’repliedMrs。Belloc。``You’regoingtothetop。I’dhatetoseeyoucontentedatthebottom。Aren’tyoulearningagooddealthat’llbeusefullateron?’’
``That’swhyI’mreconciledtoit,’’saidshe。``Thestagedirector,Mr。Ransdell,isteachingmeeverything——evenhowtosing。Heknowshisbusiness。’’
Ransdellnotonlyknew,butalsotookendlesspainswithher。Hewasatall,thin,darkman,strikinglyhandsomeinthedistinguishedway。Sodistinguishedlookingwashethattomeethimwastowonderwhyhehadnotmadeagreatnameforhimself。Anextraordinarymindhecertainlyhad,andaninsightintothereasonsforthingsthatisgivenonlytogenius。Hehadfailedasacomposer,failedasaplaywright,failedasasinger,failedasanactor。Hehadbeenforcedtotakeuptheprofessionofputtingondramaticandmusicalplays,aprofessionthatrequiredvastknowledgeandhightalentsandpaidfortheminniggardlyfashionbothinmoneyandinfame。Crossleyowedtohimmorethantoanyothersingleelementtheseriesofsuccessesthathadmadehimrich。yetthetenthousandayearCrossleypaidhimwasregardedasevidenceofCrossley’slavishgenerosityandwasso。Itwouldhavebeendifficulttosaywhyamansosplendidlyendowedbynatureandsotirelessinimprovinghimselfwasthusunsuccessful。Probablyhelackedjudgment。
indeed,thatlackmusthavebeenthecause。HecouldjudgeforCrossley。butnotforhimself,notwhenhehadthefeelingofultimateresponsibility。
Mildredhadanticipatedthemostrepulsiveassociations——
menandwomenofloworiginandofvulgartastesandofvulgarlylooselives。Shefoundherselfsurroundedbysimple,pleasantpeople,undoubtedlyerraticforthemostpartinalltheirhabits,butwithoutviciousness。Andtheywerehardworkers,all。Ransdell——forCrossley——toleratednononsense。Hispeoplecouldliveastheypleased,awayfromthetheater,buttheretheymustbepromptandfit。Thedisciplinewasassevereasthatofamonastery。Shesawmanysignsthatallsortsofthingsofthesortwithwhichshewishedtohavenocontactweregoingonabouther。butassheheldslightly——butnotatallhaughtily——aloof,shewouldhavehadtogooutofherwaytoseeenoughtoscandalizeher。Shesoonsuspectedthatshewasbeingtreatedwithextraordinaryconsideration。ThiswasbyCrossley’sorders。ButthecarryingoutoftheirspiritaswellastheirletterwasduetoRansdell。Beforetheendofthatfirstweeksheknewthattherewasthepersonalelementbehindhisadmirationforhervoiceandhertalentforacting,behindhisconcentratingmostofhisattentionuponherpart。Helookedhisloveboldlywhenevertheywerealone。hewasalwaystryingtotouchher——neverinawaythatshecouldhaveresented,orfeltlikeresenting。Hewasnotunattractivetoher,andshewaseagertolearnallhehadtoteach,andsawnoharminhelpingherselfbylettinghimlove。
Towardthemiddleofthesecondweek,whentheywerealoneinherdressing-room,he——withtheingeniouslackofabruptnessoftheexperiencedmanatthegame——tookherhand,andbeforeshewasready,kissedher。
Hedidnotaccompanytheseadvanceswithanoutburstofpassionatewordsorwithanyfierylightingupoftheeyes,butcalmly,smilingly,asifitwerewhatshewasexpectinghimtodo,whathehadarighttodo。
Shedidnotknowquitehowtomeetthisnovelattack。
Shedrewherhandaway,wentontalkingaboutthepart——thechangeshehadsuggestedinherentrance,asshesangherbestsolo。Hediscussedthiswithheruntiltheyrosetoleavethetheater。Helookedsmilinglydownonher,andsaidwiththeflatteringairofthesatisfiedconnoisseur:
``Yes,youarecharming,Mildred。Icanmakeagreatartistandagreatsuccessoutofyou。Weneedeachother。’’
``Icertainlyneedyou,’’saidshegratefully。``Howmuchyou’vedoneforme。’’
``Onlythebeginning,’’repliedhe。``Ah,Ihavesuchplansforyou——suchplans。Crossleydoesn’trealizehowfaryoucanbemadetogo——withtherighttraining。Withoutit——’’Heshookhisheadlaughingly。
``Butyoushallhaveit,mydear。’’Andhelaidhishandslightlyandcaressinglyuponhershoulders。
Thegesturewasapparentlyafriendlyfamiliarity。
Toresentit,eventodrawaway,wouldputherintheattitudeofthewomanabsurdlyexercisedaboutthedesirabilityandsacrednessofherowncharms。
Stillsmiling,inthatfriendly,assuredway,hewenton:``You’vebeenverycoldandreservedwithme,mydear。Veryunappreciative。’’
Mildred,redandtrembling,hungherheadinconfusion。
``I’vebeenatthebusinesstenyears,’’hewenton,``andyou’rethefirstwomanI’vebeenmorethancasuallyinterestedin。Theprettyoneswerebores。Thehomelyones——Ican’tinterestmyselfinahomelywoman,nomatterhowmuchtalentshehas。Awomanmustfirstofallsatisfytheeye。Andyou——’’Heseatedhimselfanddrewhertowardhim。She,coldalloverandconfusedinmindandalmoststupefied,resistedwithallherstrength。butherstrengthseemedtobeoozingaway。Shesaid:
``Youmustnotdothis。Youmustnotdothis。I’mhorriblydisappointedinyou。’’
Hedrewhertohislapandheldhertherewithoutanyapparenttaxuponhisstrength。Hekissedher,laughinglypushingawaythearmswithwhichshetriedtoshieldherface。Suddenlyshefoundstrengthtowrenchherselffreeandstoodatadistancefromhim。
Shewaspantingalittle,waspale,waslookingathimwithcoldanger。
``Youwillpleaseleavethisroom,’’saidshe。
Helitacigarette,crossedhislegscomfortably,andlookedatherwithlaughingeyes。``Don’tdothat,’’hesaidgenially。``Surelymylessonsinactinghaven’tbeeninvain。That’stooobviouslyapose。’’
Shewenttothemirror,arrangedherhat,andmovedtowardthedoor。Heroseandbarredtheway。
``Youareassensibleasyouaresweetandlovely,’’
saidhe。``Whyshouldyouinsistonourbeingbadfriends?’’
``Ifyoudon’tstandaside,I’llcallouttothewatchman。’’
``I’dneverhavethoughtyouweredishonest。Infact,Idon’tbelieveityet。Youdon’tlooklikeoneofthoseladieswhowishtotakeeverythingandgivenothing。’’Histoneandmannerweremostattractive。
Besides,shecouldnotforgetallhehaddoneforher——andallhecoulddoforher。Saidshe:
``Mr。Ransdell,ifI’vedoneanythingtocauseyoutomisunderstand,itwasunconscious。AndI’msorry。