Ifhewilllookalittleclosely，hewillseethattheprofileandthefull-faceviewsofthewillarebothtrueandperfectlyconsistent！
　　Nowletuscomeback，afterthislongdigression，totheconversationwiththeintelligentEnglishman。Webeginskirmishingwithafewlightideas，——testingforthoughts，——asourelectro-chemicalfriend，DeSauty，ifthereweresuchaperson，wouldtestforhiscurrent；
　　tryingalittlelitmus-paperforacids，andthenaslipofturmeric-
　　paperforalkalies，aschemistsdowithunknowncompounds；flingingthelead，andlookingattheshellsandsandsitbringsuptofindoutwhetherweareliketokeepinshallowwater，orshallhavetodropthedeep-sealine；——inshort，seeingwhatwehavetodealwith。
　　IftheEnglishmangetshisH’sprettywellplaced，hecomesfromoneofthehighergradesoftheBritishsocialorder，andweshallfindhimagoodcompanion。
　　But，afterall，hereisagreatfactbetweenus。Webelongtotwodifferentcivilizations，and，untilwerecognizewhatseparatesus，wearetalkinglikePyramusandThisbe，withoutanyholeinthewalltotalkthrough。Therefore，onthewhole，ifhewereasuperiorfellow，incapableofmistakingitforpersonalconceit，IthinkI
　　wouldletoutthefactoftherealAmericanfeelingaboutOld-Worldfolks。Theyarechildrentousincertainpointsofview。Theyareplayingwithtoyswehavedonewithforwhole-generations——
　　FOOTNOTE:
　　ThemoreIhaveobservedandreflected，themorelimitedseemstomethefieldofactionofthehumanwill。Everyactofchoiceinvolvesaspecialrelationbetweentheegoandtheconditionsbeforeit。Butnomanknowswhatforcesareatworkinthedeterminationofhisego。
　　Thebiaswhichdecideshischoicebetweentwoormoremotivesmaycomefromsomeunsuspectedancestralsource，ofwhichheknowsnothingatall。Heisautomaticinvirtueofthathiddenspringofreflexaction，allthetimehavingthefeelingthatheisself-
　　determining。TheStoryofElsieYenner，written-soonafterthisbookwaspublished，illustratesthedirectioninwhichmythoughtwasmoving。’Theimaginarysubjectofthestoryobeyedherwill，butherwillObeyedthemysteriousantenatalpoisoninginfluence——
　　Thatsillylittledrumtheyarealwaysbeatingon，andthetrumpetandthefeathertheymakesomuchnoiseandcutsuchafigurewith，wehavenotquiteoutgrown，butplaywithmuchlessseriouslyandconstantlythantheydo。Thenthereisawholemuseumofwigs，andmasks，andlace-coats，andgold-sticks，andgrimaces，andphrases，whichwelaughathonestly，withoutaffectation，thatarestillusedintheOld-Worldpuppet-shows。Idon’tthinkweonourparteverunderstandtheEnglishman’sconcentratedloyaltyandspecializedreverence。Butthenwedothinkmoreofaman，assuch，barringsomelittledifficultiesaboutraceandcomplexionwhichtheEnglishmanwilltouchusonpresently，thananypeoplethateverliveddidthinkofhim。Ourreverenceisagreatdealwider，ifitislessintense。Wehavecasteamongus，tosomeextent；itistrue；
　　butthereisneveracollarontheAmericanwolf-dogsuchasyouoftenseeontheEnglishmastiff，notwithstandinghisrobust，heartyindividuality。
　　Thisconfrontingoftwocivilizationsisalwaysagrandsensationtome；itislikecuttingthroughtheisthmusandlettingthetwooceansswimintoeachother’slaps。Thetroubleis，itissodifficulttoletoutthewholeAmericannaturewithoutitsself-assertionseemingtotakeapersonalcharacter。ButIneverenjoytheEnglishmansomuchaswhenhetalksofchurchandkinglikeMancoCapacamongthePeruvians。ThenyougettherealBritishflavor，whichthecosmopoliteEnglishmanloses。
　　Howmuchbetterthisthoroughinterpenetrationofideasthanabarreninterchangeofcourtesies，orabush-fightingargument，inwhicheachmantriestocoverasmuchofhimselfandexposeasmuchofhisopponentasthetangledthicketofthedisputedgroundwilllethim！——
　　Mythoughtsflowinlayersorstrata，atleastthreedeep。I
　　followaslowperson’stalk，andkeepaperfectlyclearunder-currentofmyownbeneathit。Underbothrunsobscurelyaconsciousnessbelongingtoathirdtrainofreflections，independentofthetwoothers。IwilltrytowriteoutaMentalmovementinthreeparts。
　　A——Firstvoice，orMentalSoprano，——thoughtfollowsawomantalking。
　　B——Secondvoice，orMentalBarytone，——myrunningaccompaniment。
　　C——Thirdvoice，orMentalBasso，——lowgrumbleofimportunateself-
　　repeatingidea。
　　A——Whitelace，threeskirts，loopedwithflowers，wreathofapple-
　　blossoms，goldbracelets，diamondpinandear-rings，themostdeliciousbertheyoueversaw，whitesatinslippers-
　　B——Deusetakeher！Whatafoolsheis！Hearherchatter！Lookoutofwindowjusthere——Twopagesandahalfofdescription，ifitwereallwrittenout，inonetenthofasecond。——Goahead，oldlady！
　　Eyecatchespictureoverfireplace。There’sthatinfernalfamilynose！Cameoverinthe"Mayflower"onthefirstoldfool’sface。
　　Whydon’ttheyweararinginit？
　　C——You’llbelateatlecture，——lateatlecture，——late，——late-
　　Iobservethatadeeplayerofthoughtsometimesmakesitselffeltthroughthesuperincumbentstrata，thus:——Theusualsingleordoublecurrentsshallflowon，butthereshallbeaninfluenceblendingwiththem，disturbingtheminanobscureway，untilallatonceIsay，——
　　Oh，there！Iknewtherewassomethingtroublingme，——andthethoughtwhichhadbeenworkingthroughcomesuptothesurfaceclear，definite，andarticulatesitself，——adisagreeableduty，perhaps，oranunpleasantrecollection。
　　Theinnerworldofthoughtandtheouterworldofeventsarealikeinthis，thattheyarebothbrimful。Thereisnospacebetweenconsecutivethoughts，orbetweenthenever-endingseriesofactions。
　　Allpacktight，andmouldtheirsurfacesagainsteachother，sothatinthelongrunthereisawonderfulaverageuniformityintheformsofboththoughtsandactions，justasyoufindthatcylinderscrowdedallbecomehexagonalprisms，andspherespressedtogetherareformedintoregularpolyhedra。
　　Everyeventthatamanwouldmastermustbemountedontherun，andnomanevercaughtthereinsofathoughtexceptasitgallopedbyhim。So，tocarryout，withanothercomparison，myremarkaboutthelayersofthought，wemayconsiderthemindasitmovesamongthoughtsorevents，likeacircus-riderwhirlingroundwithagreattroopofhorses。Hecanmountafactoranidea，andguideitmoreorlesscompletely，buthecannotstopit。So，asIsaidinanotherwayatthebeginning，hecanstridetwoorthreethoughtsatonce，butnotbreaktheirsteadywalk，trot，orgallop。Hecanonlytakehisfootfromthesaddleofonethoughtandputitonthatofanother——
　　Whatisthesaddleofathought？Why，aword，ofcourse——Twentyyearsafteryouhavedismissedathought，itsuddenlywedgesuptoyouthroughthepress，asifithadbeensteadilygallopingroundandroundallthattimewithoutarider。
　　Thewilldoesnotactintheinterspacesofthought，fortherearenosuchinterspaces，butsimplystepsfromthebackofonemovingthoughtuponthatofanother——
　　Ishouldliketoask，——saidthedivinity-student，——sincewearegettingintometaphysics，howyoucanadmitspace，ifallthingsareincontact，andhowyoucanadmittime，ifitisalwaysnowtosomething？——
　　Ithoughtitbestnottohearthisquestion——
　　Iwonderifyouknowthisclassofphilosophersinbooksorelsewhere。Oneofthemmakeshisbowtothepublic，andexhibitsanunfortunatetruthbandagedupsothatitcannotstirhandorfoot，——
　　ashelpless，apparently，andunabletotakecareofitself，asanEgyptianmummy。Hethenproceeds，withtheairandmethodofamaster，totakeoffthebandages。Nothingcanbeneaterthanthewayinwhichhedoesit。Butashetakesofflayerafterlayer，thetruthseemstogrowsmallerandsmaller，andsomeofitsoutlinesbegintolooklikesomethingwehaveseenbefore。Atlast，whenhehasgotthemalloff，andthetruthstrutsoutnaked，werecognizeitasadiminutiveandfamiliaracquaintancewhomwehaveknowninthestreetsallourlives。Thefactis，thephilosopherhascoaxedthetruthintohisstudyandputallthosebandageson；orcourseitisnotveryhardforhimtotakethemoff。Still，agreatmanypeopleliketowatchtheprocess，——hedoesitsoneatly！
　　Dear！dear！Iamashamedtowriteandtalk，sometimes，whenIseehowthosefunctionsofthelarge-brained，thumb-opposingplantigradeareabusedbymyfellow-vertebrates，——perhapsbymyself。Howtheysparforwind，insteadofhittingfromtheshoulder！——
　　TheyoungfellowcalledJohnaroseandplacedhimselfinaneatfightingattitude——Fetchonthefellahthatmakesthemlongwords！——
　　hesaid，——andplantedastraighthitwiththerightfistintheconcavepalmofthelefthandwithaclicklikeacupandball——Yousmallboythere，hurryupthat"Webster’sUnabridged！"
　　Thelittlegentlemanwiththemalformation，beforedescribed，shockedtheproprietyofthebreakfast-tablebyaloudutteranceofthreewords，ofwhichthetwolastwere"Webster’sUnabridged，"andthefirstwasanemphaticmonosyllable——Begpardon，——headded，——forgotmyself。ButletushaveanEnglishdictionary，ifwearetohaveany。Idon’tbelieveinclippingthecoinoftherealm，Sir！IfI
　　putaweathercockonmyhouse，Sir，Iwantittotellwhichwaythewindblowsupaloft，——offfromtheprairiestotheocean，orofffromtheoceantotheprairies，oranywayitwantstoblow！Idon’twantaweathercockwithawinchinanoldgentleman’sstudythathecantakeholdofandturn，sothatthevaneshallpointwestwhenthegreatwindoverheadisblowingeastwithallitsmight，Sir！Waittillwegiveyouadictionary；Sir！IttakesBostontodothatthing，Sir！——
　　Somefolksthinkwatercan’trundown-hillanywhereoutofBoston，——remarkedtheKoh-i-noor。
　　Idon’tknowwhatsomefolksthinksowellasIknowwhatsomefoolssay，——rejoinedtheLittleGentleman——Ifimportingmostdrygoodsmadethebestscholars，Idaresayyouwouldknowwheretolookfor’em——Mr。Webstercouldn’tspell，Sir，orwouldn’tspell，Sir，——atanyrate，hedidn’tspell；andtheendofitwasafightbetweentheownersofsomecopyrightsandthedignityofthisnoblelanguagewhichwehaveinheritedfromourEnglishfathers。Language！——thebloodofthesoul，Sir！intowhichourthoughtsrunandoutofwhichtheygrow！WeknowwhatawordisworthhereinBoston。YoungSamAdamsgotuponthestageatCommencement，outatCambridgethere，withhisgownon，theGovernorandCouncillookingoninthenameofhisMajesty，KingGeorgetheSecond，andthegirlslookingdownoutofthegalleries，andtaughtpeoplehowtospellawordthatwasn’tintheColonialdictionaries！R-e，re，s-i-s，sis，t-a-n-c-e，tance，Resistance！Thatwasin’43，anditwasagoodmanyyearsbeforetheBostonboysbeganspellingitwiththeirmuskets；——butwhentheydidbegin，theyspeltitsoloudthattheoldbedriddenwomenintheEnglishalmshousesheardeverysyllable！Yes，yes，yes，——itwasagoodwhilebeforethoseothertwoBostonboysgottheclasssofaralongthatitcouldspellthosetwohardwords，IndependenceandUnion！Itellyouwhat，Sir，thereareathousandlives，aye，sometimesamillion，gotogetanewwordintoalanguagethatisworthspeaking。WeknowwhatlanguagemeanstoowellhereinBostontoplaytrickswithit。Wenevermakeanewwordtilwehavemadeanewthingoranewthought，Sir！thenweshapedthenewmouldofthiscontinent，wehadtomakeafew。When，byGod’spermission，weabrogatedtheprimalcurseofmaternity，wehadtomakeawordortwo。ThecutwaterofthisgreatLeviathanclipper，theOCCIDENTAL，——
　　thisthirty-wastedwind-and-steamwave-crusher，——mustthrowalittlesprayoverthehumanvocabularyasitsplitsthewatersofanewworld’sdestiny！
　　Heroseashespoke，untilhisstatureseemedtoswellintothefairhumanproportions。Hisfeetmusthavebeenontheupperroundofhishighchair；thatwastheonlywayIcouldaccountforit。
　　Putsherthroughfast-rate，——saidtheyoungfellowwhomtheboarderscallJohn。
　　Thevenerableandkind-lookingoldgentlemanwhositsoppositesaidherememberedSamAdamsasGovernor。Anoldmaninabrowncoat。
　　SawhimtaketheChaironBostonCommon。Wasaboythen，andrememberssittingonthefenceinfrontoftheoldHancockhouse。
　　Recollectshehadaglazed’lectionbun，andsateatingitandlookingdownontotheCommon。Lalocksfloweredlatethatyear，andhegotagreatbunchofffromthebushesintheHancockfront-yard。
　　Them’lection-bunsarenogo，——saidtheyoungmanJohn，socalled——
　　Iknowthetrick。Giveafellahafo’pennybuninthemornin’，an’
　　hedownsthewholeofit。Inaboutanhouritswellsupinhisstomachasbigasafootball，andhisfeedin’’sspiltforthatday。
　　That’sthewaytostopoffayoungonefromeatin’upallthe’lectiondinner。
　　Salem！Salem！notBoston，——shoutedthelittleman。
　　ButtheKoh-i-noorlaughedagreatraspinglaugh，andtheboyBenjaminFranklinlookedsharpathismother，asifherememberedthebun-experimentasapartofhispastpersonalhistory。
　　TheLittleGentlemanwasholdingaforkinhislefthand。Hestabbedaboulderofhome-madebreadwithit，mechanically，andlookedatitasifitoughttoshriek。Itdidnot，——buthesatasifwatchingit——
　　Languageisasolemnthing，——Isaid——Itgrowsoutoflife，——outofitsagoniesandecstasies，itswantsanditsweariness。Everylanguageisatemple，inwhichthesoulofthosewhospeakitisenshrined。Becausetimesoftensitsoutlinesandroundsthesharpanglesofitscornices，shallafellowtakeapickaxetohelptime？
　　Letmetellyouwhatcomesofmeddlingwiththingsthatcantakecareofthemselves——Afriendofminehadawatchgivenhim，whenhewasaboy，——a"bull’seye，"withaloosesilvercasethatcameofflikeanoyster-shellfromitscontents；youknowthem，——thecasesthatyouhangonyourthumb，whilethecore，ortherealwatch，liesinyourhandasnakedasapeeledapple。Well，hebeganwithtakingoffthecase，andsoonfromonelibertytoanother，untilhegotitfairlyopen，andthereweretheworks，asgoodasiftheywerealive，——
　　crown-wheel，balance-wheel，andalltherest。Allrightexceptonething，——therewasaconfoundedlittlehairhadgottangledroundthebalance-wheel。SomyyoungSolomongotapairoftweezers，andcaughtholdofthehairverynicely，andpulleditrightout，withouttouchinganyofthewheels，——when，——buzzzZZZ！andthewatchhaddoneuptwenty-fourhoursindoublemagnetic-telegraphtime！——TheEnglishlanguagewaswounduptorunsomethousandsofyears，Itrust；butifeverybodyistobepullingateverythinghethinksisahair，ourgrandchildrenwillhavetomakethediscoverythatitisahair-
　　spring，andtheoldAnglo-Normansoul’s-timekeeperwillrundown，assomanyotherdialectshavedonebeforeit。Ican’tstandthismeddlinganybetterthanyou，Sir。Butwehaveagreatdealtobeproudofinthelifelonglaborsofthatoldlexicographer，andwemustn’tbeungrateful。Besides，don’tletusdeceiveourselves，——
　　thewarofthedictionariesisonlyadisguisedrivalryofcities，colleges，andespeciallyofpublishers。Afterall，itislikelythatthelanguagewillshapeitselfbylargerforcesthanphonographyanddictionary-making。Youmayspadeuptheoceanasmuchasyoulike，andharrowitafterwards，ifyoucan，——butthemoonwillstillleadthetides，andthewindswillformtheirsurface——
　　DoyouknowRichardson’sDictionary？——Isaidtomyneighborthedivinity-student。
　　Haow？——saidthedivinity-student——Hecolored，ashenoticedonmyfaceatwitchinoneofthemuscleswhichtuckupthecornerofthemouth，zygomaticusmajor，andwhichIcouldnotholdbackfrommakingalittlemovementonitsownaccount。
　　Itwastoolate——Acountry-boy，lassoedwhenhewasahalf-growncolt。Justasgoodasacity-boy，andinsomeways，perhaps，better，——butcaughtalittletoooldnottocarrysomemarksofhisearlierwaysoflife。Foreigners，whohavetalkedastrangetonguehalftheirlives，returntothelanguageoftheirchildhoodintheirdyinghours。Gentlemeninfinelinen，andscholarsinlargelibraries，takenbysurprise，orinacarelessmoment，willsometimesletslipawordtheyknewasboysinhomespunandhavenotspokensincethattime，——butitlaythereunderalltheirculture。Thatisonewayyoumayknowthecountry-boysaftertheyhavegrownrichorcelebrated；anotherisbytheoddoldfamilynames，particularlythoseoftheHebrewprophets，whichthegoodoldpeoplehavesaddledthemwith——
　　BostonhasenoughofEnglandaboutittomakeagoodEnglishdictionary，——saidthatfresh-lookingyouthwhomIhavementionedassittingattherightuppercornerofthetable。
　　Iturnedandlookedhimfullintheface，——forthepure，manlyintonationsarrestedme。Thevoicewasyouthful，butfullofcharacter——Isupposesomepersonshaveapeculiarsusceptibilityinthematterofvoice——Hearthis。
　　NotlongaftertheAmericanRevolution，ayoungladywassittinginherfather’schaiseinastreetofthistownofBoston。Sheoverheardalittlegirltalkingorsinging，andwasmightilytakenwiththetonesofhervoice。Nothingwouldsatisfyherbutshemusthavethatlittlegirlcomeandliveinherfather’shouse。Sothechildcame，beingthennineyearsold。Untilhermarriagesheremainedunderthesameroofwiththeyounglady。Herchildrenbecamesuccessivelyinmatesofthelady’sdwelling；andnow，seventyyears，orthereabouts，sincetheyoungladyheardthechildsinging，oneofthatchild’schildrenandoneofhergrandchildrenarewithherinthathome，whereshe，nolongeryoung，exceptinheart，passesherpeacefuldays——Threegenerationslinkedtogetherbysolightabreathofaccident！
　　Iliked——thesoundofthisyouth’svoice，Isaid，andhislookwhenI
　　cametoobservehimalittlemoreclosely。Hiscomplexionhadsomethingbetterthan，thebloomandfreshnesswhichhadfirstattractedme；——ithadthatdiffusedtonewhichisasureindexofwholesome，lustylife。Afineliberalstyleofnatureseemedtobe:
　　haircrisped，moustachespringingthickanddark，headfirmlyplanted，lipsfinished，asiscommonlyseesthemingentlemen’sfamilies，apupilwellcontracted，andamouththatopenedfranklywithawhiteflashofteeththatlookedasiftheycouldservehimastheysayEthanAllen’susedtoservetheirowner，——todrawnailswith。Thisisthekindoffellowtowalkafrigate’sdeckandbowlhisbroadsidesintothe"GadlantThudnder-bomb，"oranyforty-port-
　　holedadventurerwhowouldliketoexchangeafewtonsofironcompliments——Idon’tknowwhatputthisintomyhead，foritwasnottillsometimeafterwardIlearnedtheyoungfellowhadbeeninthenavalschoolatAnnapolis。Somethinghadhappenedtochangehisplanoflife，andhewasnowstudyingengineeringandarchitectureinBoston。
　　Whentheyouthmadetheshortremarkwhichdrewmyattentiontohim，thelittledeformedgentlemanturnedroundandtookalonglookathim。
　　GoodfortheBostonboy！——hesaid。
　　IamnotaBostonboy，——saidtheyouth，smiling，——IamaMarylander。
　　Idon’tcarewhereyoucomefrom，——we’llmakeaBostonmanofyou，——
　　saidthelittlegentleman。Pray，whatpartofMarylanddidyoucomefrom，andhowshallIcallyou？
　　Thepooryouthhadtospeakprettyloud，ashewasattherightuppercornerofthetable，andthelittlegentlemannextthelowerleft-
　　handcorner。Hisfaceflushedalittle，butheansweredpleasantly，tellingwhohewas，asifthelittleman’sinfirmitygavehimarighttoaskanyquestionshewantedto。
　　Hereistheplaceforyoutosit，——saidthelittlegentleman，pointingtothevacantchairnexthisown，atthecorner。
　　You’rego’n’tohaveayoungladynextyou，ifyouwaittillto-
　　morrow，——saidthelandladytohim。
　　Hedidnotreply，butIhadafancythathechangedcolor。Itcan’tbethathehassusceptibilitieswithreferencetoacontingentyounglady！Itcan’tbethathehashadexperienceswhichmakehimsensitive！Naturecouldnotbequitesocruelastosetaheartthrobbinginthatpoorlittlecageofribs！Thereisnouseinwastingnotesofadmiration。Imustaskthelandladyabouthim。
　　Thesearesomeofthefactsshefurnished——Hasnotbeenlongwithher。Broughtasightoffurniture，——couldn’thardlygetsomeofitupstairs。Hasn’tseemedparticularlyattentivetotheladies。TheBombazinewhomshecallsCousinsomethingorotherhastriedtoenterintoconversationwithhim，butretiredwiththeimpressionthathewasindifferenttoladies’society。Paidhisbilltheotherdaywithoutsayingawordaboutit。Paiditingold，——hadagreatheapoftwenty-dollarpieces。Hiresherbestroom。Thinksheisaverynicelittleman，butlivesdreadfullonelyupinhischamber。
　　Wantsthecareofsomecapablenuss。Neverpitiedanybodymoreinherlife——neverseeamoreinterestin’person——
　　Myintentionwas，whenIbeganmakingthesenotes，toletthemconsistprincipallyofconversationsbetweenmyselfandtheotherboarders。Sotheywill，veryprobably；butmycuriosityisexcitedaboutthislittleboarderofours，andmyreadermustnotbedisappointed，ifIsometimesinterruptadiscussiontogiveanaccountofwhateverfactortraitsImaydiscoverabouthim。Itsohappensthathisroomisnexttomine，andIhavetheopportunityofobservingmanyofhiswayswithoutanyactivemovementsofcuriosity。
　　Thathisroomcontainsheavyfurniture，thatheisarestlesslittlebodyandisapttobeuplate，thathetalkstohimself，andkeepsmainlytohimself，isnearlyallIhaveyetfoundout。
　　OnecuriouscircumstancehappenedlatelywhichImentionwithoutdrawinganabsoluteinference。BeingatthestudioofasculptorwithwhomIamacquainted，theotherday，Isawaremarkablecastofaleftarm。Onmyaskingwherethemodelcamefrom，hesaiditwastakendirectfromthearmofadeformedperson，whohademployedoneoftheItalianmoulderstomakethecast。Itwasacuriouscase，itshouldseem，ofonebeautifullimbuponaframeotherwisesingularlyimperfect——Ihaverepeatedlynoticedthislittlegentleman’suseofhisleftarm。CanhehavefurnishedthemodelIsawatthesculptor’s？——
　　Sowearetohaveanewboarderto-morrow。Ihopetherewillbesomethingprettyandpleasingabouther。Awomanwithacreamyvoice，andfinishedinaltorilievo，wouldbeavarietyintheboarding-house，——alittlemoremarrowandalittlelesssinewthanourlandladyandherdaughterandthebombazine-cladfemale，allofwhomareoftheturkey-drumstickstyleoforganization。Idon’tmeanthattheseareouronlyfemalecompanions；buttherestbeingconversationalnon-combatants，mostlystill，sadfeeders，whotakeintheirfoodaslocomotivestakeinwoodandwater，andthenwitherawayfromthetablelikeblossomsthatnevercametofruit，Ihavenotyetreferredtothemasindividuals。
　　Iwonderwhatkindofyoungpersonweshallseeinthatemptychairto-morrow！——
　　Ireadthissongtotheboardersafterbreakfasttheothermorning。
　　Itwaswrittenforourfellows；——youknowwhotheyare，ofcourse。
　　THEBOYS。
　　Hasthereanyoldfellowgotmixedwiththeboys？
　　Iftherehas，takehimout，withoutmakinganoise！
　　HangtheAlmanac’scheatandtheCatalogue’sspite！
　　OldTimeisaliar！We’retwentyto-night！
　　We’retwenty！We’retwenty！Whosayswearemore？
　　He’stipsy，——youngjackanapes！——showhimthedoor！——
　　"Graytemplesattwenty？"——Yes！white，ifweplease；
　　Wherethesnow-flakesfallthickestthere’snothingcanfreeze！
　　WasitsnowingIspokeof？Excusethemistake！
　　Lookclose，——youwillseenotasignofaflake；
　　Wewantsomenewgarlandsforthosewehaveshed，Andthesearewhiterosesinplaceofthered！
　　We’veatrick，weyoungfellows，youmayhavebeentold。
　　Oftalkinginpublicasifwewereold；
　　ThatboywecallDoctor，"1andthiswecallJudge2——
　　It’saneatlittlefiction，——ofcourseit’sallfudge。
　　Thatfellow’stheSpeaker，"3——theoneontheright；
　　Mr。Mayor，"4myyoungone，howareyouto-night？
　　That’sour"MemberofCongress，"5wesaywhenwechaff；
　　There’sthe"Reverend"6What’shisname？——don’tmakemelaugh！
　　Thatboywiththegravemathematicallook7
　　Madebelievehehadwrittenawonderfulbook，AndtheROYALSOCIETYthoughtitwastrue！
　　Sotheychosehimrightin；agoodjokeitwas，too。
　　There’saboy，——wepretend，——withathree-decker-brainThatcouldharnessateamwithalogicalchain:
　　Whenhespokeforourmanhoodinsyllabledfire，Wecalledhim"TheJustice，"——butnowhe’s"TheSquire。"1
　　Andthere’saniceyoungsterofexcellentpith，2
　　FatetriedtoconcealhimbynaminghimSmith，Butheshoutedasongforthebraveandthefree，——Justreadonhismedal，——Mycountry，——ofthee！"
　　Youhearthatboylaughing？——youthinkhe’sallfun，Buttheangelslaugh，too，atthegoodhehasdone；
　　Thechildrenlaughloudastheytrooptohiscall，Andthepoormanthatknowshimlaughsloudestofall！3
　　Yes，we’reboys，——alwaysplayingwithtongueorwithpen，——
　　AndIsometimeshaveasked，——Shallweeverbemen？
　　Shallwealwaysbeyouthfulandlaughingandgay，Tillthelastdearcompaniondropssmilingaway？
　　Thenhere’stoourboyhood，itsgoldanditsgray！
　　ThestarsofitsWinter，thedewsofitsMay！
　　Andwhenwehavedonewithourlife-lastingtoys，DearFather，takecareofthychildren，theBoys！
　　1FrancisThomas。
　　2GeorgeTylerBigelow。
　　3FrancisBoardmanCrowninshield。
　　4G。W。Richardson。
　　5GeorgeThomasDavis。
　　6JamesFreemanClarke。
　　7BenjaminPeirce。
　　III
　　[TheProfessortalkswiththeReader。HetellsaYoungGirl’sStory。]
　　Whentheelementsthatwenttothemakingofthefirstman，fatherofmankind，hadbeenwithdrawnfromtheworldofunconsciousmatter，thebalanceofcreationwasdisturbed。Thematerialsthatgotothemakingofonewomanweresetfreebytheabstractionfrominanimatenatureofoneman’s-worthofmasculineconstituents。Thesecombinedtomakeourfirstmother，byalogicalnecessityinvolvedinthepreviouscreationofourcommonfather。Allthis，mythically，illustratively，andbynomeansdoctrinallyorpolemically。
　　Themanimpliesthewoman，youwillunderstand。TheexcellentgentlemanwhomIhadthepleasureofsettingrightinatriflingmatterafewweeksagobelievesinthefrequentoccurrenceofmiraclesatthepresentday。SodoI。Ibelieve，ifyoucouldfindanuninhabitedcoral-reefisland，inthemiddleofthePacificOcean，withplentyofcocoa-palmsandbread-fruitonit，andputahandsomeyoungfellow，likeourMarylander，ashoreuponit，ifyoutouchedthereayearafterwards，youwouldfindhimwalkingunderthepalm-
　　treesarminarmwithaprettywoman。
　　Wherewouldshecomefrom？
　　Oh，that’sthemiracle！——
　　Iwasjustascertain，whenIsawthatfine，high-coloredyouthattheupperright-handcornerofourtable，thattherewouldappearsomefittingfemininecounterparttohim，asifIhadbeenaclairvoyant，seeingitallbeforehand——
　　IhaveafancythatthoseMarylandersarejustaboutnearenoughtothesuntoripenwell——HowsomeofusfellowsrememberJoeandHarry，Baltimoreans，both！Joe，withhischeekslikelady-apples，andhiseyeslikeblack-heartcherries，andhisteethlikethewhitenessofthefleshofcocoanuts，andhislaughthatsetthechandelier-dropsrattlingoverhead，aswesatatoursparklingbanquetsinthosegay，times！Harry，champion，byacclamation，ofthecollegeheavy-weights，broad-shouldered，bull-necked，square-
　　jawed，sixfeetandtrimmings，alittlescience，lotsofpluck，good-
　　naturedasasteerinpeace，formidableasared-eyedbisoninthecrackofhand-to-handbattle！Whoforgetsthegreatmuster-day，andthecollisionoftheclassicwiththedemocraticforces？Thehugebutcher，fifteenstone，——twohundredandtenpounds，——goodweight，——
　　stepsoutlikeTelamonianAjax，defiant。NowordsfromHarry，theBaltimorean，——oneofthequietsort，whostrikefirst；anddothetalking，ifthereisany，afterwards。Nowords，but，intheplacethereof，aclean，straight，hardhit，whichtookeffectwithaspankliketheexplosionofapercussion-cap，knockingtheslayerofbeevesdownasand-bank，——followed，alas！bythetooimpetuousyouth，sothatbothrolleddowntogether，andtheconflictterminatedinoneofthoseingloriousandinevitableYankeeclinches，followedbyageneralmelee，whichmakeournativefisticencounterssodifferentfromsuchadmirably-orderedcontestsasthatwhichIoncesawatanEnglishfair，whereeverythingwasdonedecentlyandinorder；andthefightbeganandendedwithsuchgravepropriety，thatasportingparsonneedhardlyhavehesitatedtoopenitwithadevoutpetition，and，afteritwasover，dismisstheringwithabenediction。
　　Ican’thelptellingonemorestoryaboutthisgreatfield-day，thoughitisthemostwantonandirrelevantdigression。Butallofushavealittlespeckoffightunderneathourpeaceandgood-willtomen，justaspeck，forrevolutionsandgreatemergencies，youknow，——
　　sothatweshouldnotsubmittobetroddenquiteflatbythefirstheavy-heeledaggressorthatcamealong。Youcantellaportraitfromanidealhead，Isuppose，andatruestoryfromonespunoutofthewriter’sinvention。Seewhetherthissoundstrueornot。
　　AdmiralSirIsaacCoffinsentouttwofineblood-horses，BarefootandSerabbyname，toMassachusetts，somethingbeforethetimeIamtalkingof。WiththemcameaYorkshiregroom，astockylittlefellow，invelvetbreeches，whomadethatmysterioushissingnoise，traditionaryinEnglishstables，whenherubbeddownthesilken-
　　skinnedracers，ingreatperfection。Afterthesoldiershadcomefromthemuster-field，andsomeofthecompanieswereonthevillage-
　　common，therewasstillsomeskirmishingbetweenafewindividualswhohadnothadthefighttakenoutofthem。ThelittleYorkshiregroomthoughthemustserveoutsomebody。Sohethrewhimselfintoanapprovedscientificattitude，and，inbrief，emphaticlanguage，expressedhisurgentanxietytoaccommodateanyclassicalyounggentlemanwhochosetoconsiderhimselfacandidateforhisattentions。Idon’tsupposethereweremanyofthecollegeboysthatwouldhavebeenamatchforhimintheartwhichEnglishmenknowsomuchmoreofthanAmericans，forthemostpart。However，oneoftheSophomores，averyquiet，peaceablefellow，juststeppedoutofthecrowd，and，runningstraightatthegroom，ashestoodthere，sparringaway，struckhimwiththesoleofhisfoot，astraightblow，asifithadbeenwithhisfist，andknockedhimheelsoverheadandsenseless，sothathehadtobecarriedofffromthefield。ThisuglywayofhittingisthegreattrickoftheFrenchgavate，whichisnotcommonlythoughtabletostanditsgroundagainstEnglishpugilisticscience。Theseareoldrecollections，withnotmuchtorecommendthem，except，perhaps，adashoflife，whichmaybeworthalittlesomething。
　　TheyoungMarylanderbroughtthemallup，youmayremember。HerecalledtomymindthosetwosplendidpiecesofvitalityItoldyouof。Bothhavebeenlongdead。Howoftenweseethesegreatred-
　　flaringflambeauxoflifeblownout，asitwere，byapuffofwind，——andthelittle，single-wickednight-lampofbeing，whichsomewhite-facedandattenuatedinvalidshadeswithtremblingfingers，flickeringonwhiletheygooutoneafteranother，untilitsglimmerisallthatislefttousofthegenerationtowhichitbelonged！
　　ItoldyouthatIwasperfectlysure，beforehand，weshouldfindsomepleasinggirlishorwomanlyshapetofilltheblankatourtableandmatchthedark-hairedyouthattheuppercorner。
　　Thereshesits，attheveryoppositecorner，justasfaroffasaccidentcouldputherfromthishandsomefellow，bywhosesidesheought，ofcourse，tobesitting。Oneofthe"positive"blondes，asmyfriend，youmayremember，usedtocallthem。Tawny-haired，amber-eyed，full-throated，skinaswhiteasablanchedalmond。Looksdreamytome，notself-conscious，thoughablackribbonroundhernecksetsitoffasaMarie-Antoinette’sdiamond-necklacecouldnotdo。Soinherdress，thereisaharmonyoftintsthatlooksasifanartisthadrunhiseyeoverherandgivenahintortwolikethefinishingtouchtoapicture。Ican’thelpbeingstruckwithher，forsheisatonceroundedandfineinfeature，lookscalm，asblondesareaptto，andasifshemightrunwild，ifsheweretrifledwith。ItisjustasIknewitwouldbe，——andanybodycanseethatouryoungMarylanderwillbedeadinlovewithherinaweek。
　　Thenifthatlittlemanwouldonlyturnoutimmenselyrichandhavethegood-naturetodieandleavethemallhismoney，itwouldbeasniceasathree-volumenovel。
　　TheLittleGentlemanisinaflurry，Isuspect，withtheexcitementofhavingsuchacharmingneighbornexthim。Ijudgesomainlybyhissilenceandbyacertainraptandseriouslookonhisface，asifhewerethinkingofsomethingthathadhappened，orthatmighthappen，orthatoughttohappen，——orhowbeautifulheryounglifelooked，orhowhardlyNaturehaddealtwithhim，orsomethingwhichstruckhimsilent，atanyrate。Imadeseveralconversationalopeningsforhim，buthedidnotfireupasheoftendoes。Ievenwentsofarastoindulgein，aflingattheStateHouse，which，asweallknow，isintruthaveryimposingstructure，coveringlessgroundthanSt。Peter’s，butofsimilargeneraleffect。Thelittlemanlookedup，butdidnotreplytomytaunt。Hesaidtotheyounglady，however，thattheStateHousewastheParthenonofourAcropolis，whichseemedtopleaseher，forshesmiled，andhereddenedalittle，——soIthought。Idon’tthinkitrighttowatchpersonswhoarethesubjectsofspecialinfirmity，——butwealldoit。
　　Iseethattheyhavecrowdedthechairsalittleatthatendofthetable，tomakeroomforanothernewcomeroftheladysort。Awell-
　　mounted，middle-agedpreparation，wearingherhairwithoutacap，——
　　prettywideintheparting，though，——contoursvaguelyhinted，——
　　featuresveryquiet，——sayslittleasyet，butseemstokeephereyeontheyounglady，asifhavingsomeresponsibilityforherMyrecordisablankforsomedaysafterthis。InthemeantimeI
　　havecontrivedtomakeoutthepersonandthestoryofouryounglady，who，accordingtoappearances，oughttofurnishusaheroineforaboarding-houseromancebeforeayearisout。Itisverycuriousthatsheshouldproveconnectedwithapersonmanyofushaveheardof。Yet，curiousasitis，Ihavebeenahundredtimesstruckwiththecircumstancethatthemostremotefactsareconstantlystrikingeachother；justasvesselsstartingfromportsthousandsofmilesapartpassclosetoeachotherinthenakedbreadthoftheocean，nay，sometimeseventouch，inthedark，withacrackoftimbers，agurglingofwater，acryofstartledsleepers，——acrymysteriouslyechoedinwarningdreams，asthewifeofsomeGloucesterfisherman，somecoastingskipper，wakeswithashriek，callsthenameofherhusband，andsinksbacktouneasyslumbersuponherlonelypillow，——awidow。
　　Oh，thesemysteriousmeetings！Leavingallthevague，waste，endlessspacesofthewashingdesert，theocean-steamerandthefishing-smacksailstraighttowardseachotherasiftheyraningroovesploughedfortheminthewatersfromthebeginningofcreation！Notonlythingsandevents，butourownthoughts，aresofullofthesesurprises，that，iftherewereareaderinmyparishwhodidnotrecognizethefamiliaroccurrenceofwhatIamnowgoingtomention，IshouldthinkitacaseforthemissionariesoftheSocietyforthePropagationofIntelligenceamongtheComfortableClasses。
　　Thereareaboutasmanytwinsinthebirthsofthoughtasofchildren。Forthefirsttimeinyourlivesyoulearnsomefactorcomeacrosssomeidea。Withinanhour，aday，aweek，thatsamefactorideastrikesyoufromanotherquarter。Itseemsasifithadpassedintospaceandboundedbackuponyouasanechofromtheblankwallthatshutsintheworldofthought。Yetnopossibleconnectionexistsbetweenthetwochannelsbywhichthethoughtorthefactarrived。Letmegiveaninfinitesimalillustration。
　　OneoftheBoysmentioned，theotherevening，inthecourseofaverypleasantpoemhereadus，alittletrickoftheCommons-tableboarders，whichI，nourishedattheparentalboard，hadneverheardof。Youngfellowsbeingalwayshungry——Allowmetostopdead-short，inordertoutteranaphorismwhichhasbeenformingitselfinoneoftheblankinteriorspacesofmyintelligence，likeacrystalinthecavityofageode。
　　AphorismbytheProfessor。
　　Inordertoknowwhetherahumanbeingisyoungorold，offeritfoodofdifferentkindsatshortintervals。Ifyoung，itwilleatanythingatanyhourofthedayornight。Ifold，itobservesstatedperiods，andyoumightaswellattempttoregulatethetimeofhighwatertosuitafishing-partyastochangetheseperiods。
　　Thecrucialexperimentisthis。Offerabulkyandboggybuntothesuspectedindividualjusttenminutesbeforedinner。Ifthisiseagerlyacceptedanddevoured，thefactofyouthisestablished。Ifthesubjectofthequestionstartsbackandexpressessurpriseandincredulity，asifyoucouldnotpossiblybeinearnest，thefactofmaturityisnolessclear——
　　Excuseme，——IreturntomystoryoftheCommons-table——Youngfellowsbeingalwayshungry，andteaanddrytoastbeingthemeagrefareoftheeveningmeal，itwasatrickofsomeoftheBoystoimpaleasliceofmeatuponafork，atdinner-time，andsticktheforkholdingitbeneaththetable，sothattheycouldgetitattea-
　　time。ThedragonsthatguardedthistableoftheHesperidesfoundoutthetrickatlast，andkeptasharplook-outformissingforks；——
　　theyknewwheretofindone，ifitwasnotinitsplace——Nowtheoddthingwas，that，afterwaitingsomanyyearstohearofthiscollegetrick，Ishouldhearitmentionedasecondtimewithinthesametwenty-fourhoursbyacollegeyouthofthepresentgeneration。
　　Strange，buttrue。Andsoithashappenedtomeandtoeveryperson，oftenandoften，tobehitinrapidsuccessionbythesetwinnedfactsorthoughts，asiftheywerelinkedlikechain-shot。
　　Iwasgoingtoleavethesimplereadertowonderoverthis，takingitasanunexplainedmarvel。Ithink，however，Iwillturnoverafurrowofsubsoilinit——Theexplanationis，ofcourse，thatinagreatmanythoughtstheremustbeafewcoincidences，andtheseinstantlyarrestourattention。Nowweshallprobablyneverhavetheleastideaoftheenormousnumberofimpressionswhichpassthroughourconsciousness，untilinsomefuturelifeweseethephotographicrecordofourthoughtsandthestereoscopicpictureofouractions。
　　Theregomorepiecestomakeupaconsciouslifeoralivingbodythanyouthinkfor。Why，someofyouweresurprisedwhenafriendofminetoldyoutherewerefifty-eightseparatepiecesinafiddle。
　　Howmany"swimmingglands"——solid，organized，regularlyformed，roundeddiskstakinganactivepartinallyourvitalprocesses，partandparcel，eachoneofthem，ofyourcorporealbeing——doyousupposearewhirledalong，likepebblesinastream，withthebloodwhichwarmsyourframeandcolorsyourcheeks？——AnotedGermanphysiologistspreadoutaminutedropofblood，underthemicroscope，innarrowstreaks，andcountedtheglobules，andthenmadeacalculation。Thecountingbythemicrometertookhimaweek——Youhave，myfull-grownfriend，oftheselittlecouriersincrimsonorscarletlivery，runningonyourvitalerrandsdayandnightaslongasyoulive，sixty-fivebillions，fivehundredandseventythousandmillions。
　　Errorsexcepted——DidIhearsomegentlemansay，"Doubted？"——IamtheProfessor。Isitinmychairwithapetardunderitthatwillblowmethroughtheskylightofmylecture-room，ifIdonotknowwhatIamtalkingaboutandwhomIamquoting。
　　Now，mydearfriends，whoareputtingyourhandstoyourforeheads，andsayingtoyourselvesthatyoufeelalittleconfused，asifyouhadbeenwaltzinguntilthingsbegantowhirlslightlyroundyou，isitpossiblethatyoudonotclearlyapprehendtheexactconnectionofallthatIhavebeensaying，anditsbearingonwhatisnowtocome？
　　Listen，then。Thenumberoftheselivingelementsinourbodiesillustratestheincalculablemultitudeofourthoughts；thenumberofourthoughtsaccountsforthosefrequentcoincidencesspokenof；
　　thesecoincidencesintheworldofthoughtillustratethosewhichweconstantlyobserveintheworldofoutwardevents，ofwhichthepresenceoftheyounggirlnowatourtable，andprovingtobethedaughterofanoldacquaintancesomeofusmayremember，isthespecialexamplewhichledmethroughthislabyrinthofreflections，andfinallylandsmeatthecommencementofthisyounggirl’sstory，which，asIsaid，Ihavefoundthetimeandfelttheinteresttolearnsomethingof，andwhichIthinkIcantellwithoutwrongingtheunconscioussubjectofmybriefdelineation。
　　IRIS。
　　Youremember，perhaps，insomepaperspublishedawhileago，anoddpoemwrittenbyanoldLatintutor？Hebroughtupattheverbamo，I
　　love，asallofusdo，andbyandbyNatureopenedhergreatlivingdictionaryforhimattheword，filia，adaughter。Thepoormanwasgreatlyperplexedinchoosinganameforher。LucretiaandVirginiawerethefirstthathethoughtof；butthencameupthosepicturedstoriesofTitusLivius，whichhecouldneverreadwithoutcrying，thoughhehadreadthemahundredtimes——
　　Lucretiasendingforherhusbandandherfather，eachtobringonefriendwithhim，andawaitingtheminherchamber。Tothemherwrongsbriefly。Letthemseetothewretch，——shewilltakecareofherself。Thenthehiddenknifeflashesoutandsinksintoherheart。
　　Sheslidesfromherseat，andfallsdying。"Herhusbandandherfathercryaloud。"——No，notLucretia-
　　Virginius，——abrownoldsoldier，fatherofanicegirl。Sheengagedtoaverypromisingyoungman。DecemvirAppiustakesaviolentfancytoher，——musthaveheratanyrate。Hiresalawyertopresenttheargumentsinfavoroftheviewthatshewasanotherman’sdaughter。
　　ThereusedtobelawyersinRomethatwoulddosuchthings——Allright。Therearetwosidestoeverything。Audialterampartem。
　　Thelegalgentlemanhasnoopinion，——heonlystatestheevidence——
　　Adoubtfulcase。LettheyoungladybeundertheprotectionoftheHonorableDecemviruntilitcanbelookedupthoroughly——Fatherthinksitbest，onthewhole，togivein。Willexplainthematter，iftheyoungladyandhermaidwillstepthisway。Thatistheexplanation，——astabwithabutcher’sknife，snatchedfromastall，meantforotherlambsthanthispoorbleedingVirginiaTheoldmanthoughtoverthestory。Thenhemusthaveonelookattheoriginal。Sohetookdownthefirstvolumeandreaditover。
　　Whenhecametothatpartwhereittellshowtheyounggentlemanshewasengagedtoandafriendofhistookupthepoorgirl’sbloodlessshapeandcarrieditthroughthestreet，andhowallthewomenfollowed，wailing，andaskingifthatwaswhattheirdaughterswerecomingto，——ifthatwaswhattheyweretogetforbeinggoodgirls，——
　　hemelteddownintohisaccustomedtearsofpityandgrief，and，throughthemall，ofdelightatthecharmingLatinofthenarrative。
　　ButitwasimpossibletocallhischildVirginia。Hecouldneverlookatherwithoutthinkingshehadaknifestickinginherbosom。
　　Didowouldbeagoodname，andafreshone。Shewasaqueen，andthefounderofagreatcity。Herstoryhadbeenimmortalizedbythegreatestofpoets，——fortheoldLatintutorcloveto"VirgiliusMaro，"ashecalledhim，ascloselyaseverDantedidinhismemorablejourney。SohetookdownhisVirgil，itwasthesmooth-
　　leafed，open-letteredquartoofBaskerville，——andbeganreadingthelovesandmishapsofDido。Itwouldn’tdo。Aladywhohadnotlearneddiscretionbyexperience，andcametoanevilend。Heshookhishead，ashesadlyrepeated，"——miseraantediem，subitoqueaccensafurore；"
　　butwhenhecametothelines，"ErgoIriscroceispercoelumroscidapennisMilletrahensvariosadversoSolecolores，"
　　hejumpedupwithagreatexclamation，whichtheparticularrecordingangelwhohearditpretendednottounderstand，oritmighthavegonehardwiththeLatintutorsometimeorother。
　　"Irisshallbehername！"——hesaid。SohernamewasIris——
　　Thenaturalendofatutoristoperishbystarvation。Itisonlyaquestionoftime，justaswiththeburningofcollegelibraries。
　　Theseallburnupsoonerorlater，providedtheyarenothousedinbrickorstoneandiron。Idon’tmeanthatyouwillseeintheregistryofdeathsthatthisorthatparticulartutordiedofwell-
　　marked，uncomplicatedstarvation。Theymay，even，inextremecases，becarriedoffbyathin，waterykindofapoplexy，whichsoundsverywellinthereturns，butmeanslittletothosewhoknowthatitisonlydebilitysettlingonthehead。Generally，however，theyfadeandwasteawayundervariouspretexts，——callingitdyspepsia，consumption，andsoon，toputadecentappearanceuponthecaseandkeepupthecreditofthefamilyandtheinstitutionwheretheyhavepassedthroughthesuccessivestagesofinanition。
　　Insomecasesittakesagreatmanyyearstokillatutorbytheprocessinquestion。Youseetheydogetfoodandclothesandfuel，inappreciablequantities，suchastheyare。Youwillevennoticerowsofbooksintheirrooms，andapictureortwo，——thingsthatlookasiftheyhadsurplusmoney；butthesesuperfluitiesarethewaterofcrystallizationtoscholars，andyoucannevergetthemawaytillthepoorfellowseffloresceintodust。Donotbedeceived。Thetutorbreakfastsoncoffeemadeofbeans，edulcoratedwithmilkwateredtothevergeoftransparency；hismuttonistoughandelastic，uptothemomentwhenitbecomestiredoutandtasteless；
　　hiscoalisasullen，sulphurousanthracite，whichrustsintoashes，ratherthanburns，intheshallowgrate；hisflimsybroadclothistoothinforwinterandtoothickforsummer。Thegreedylungsoffiftyhot-bloodedboyssucktheoxygenfromtheairhebreathesinhisrecitation-room。Inshort，heundergoesaprocessofgentleandgradualstarvation——
　　ThemotheroflittleIriswasnotcalledElectra，likehersoftheoldstory，neitherwashergrandfatherOceanus。Herblood-name，whichshegaveawaywithherhearttotheLatintutor，wasaplainoldEnglishone，andherwater-namewasHannah，beautifulasrecallingthemotherofSamuel，andadmirableasreadingequallywellfromtheinitialletterforwardsandfromtheterminalletterbackwards。Thepoorlady，seatedwithhercompanionatthechessboardofmatrimony，hadbutjustpushedforwardheronelittlewhitepawnuponanemptysquare，whentheBlackKnight，thatcaresnothingforcastlesorkingsorqueens，swoopeddownuponherandsweptherfromthelargerboardoflife。
　　TheoldLatintutorputamodestbluestoneattheheadofhislatecompanion，withhernameandageandEheu！uponit，——asmalleroneatherfeet，withinitials；andleftherbyherself，toberainedandsnowedon，——whichisahardthingtodoforthosewhomwehavecherishedtenderly。
　　Aboutthetimethatthelichens，fallingonthestone，likedropsofwater，hadspreadintofair，roundrosettes，thetutorhadstarvedintoaslightcough。Thenhebegantodrawthebuckleofhisblacktrousersalittletighter，andtookinanotherreefinhisnever-
　　amplewaistcoat。Histemplesgotalittlehollow，andthecontrastsofcolorinhischeeksmorevividthanofold。Afterawhilehiswalksfatiguedhim，andhewastired，andbreathedhardaftergoingupaflightortwoofstairs。Thencameonothermarksofinwardtroubleandgeneralwaste，whichhespokeoftohisphysicianaspeculiar，anddoubtlessowingtoaccidentalcauses；toallwhichthedoctorlistenedwithdeference，asifithadnotbeentheoldstorythatoneinfiveorsixofmankindintemperateclimatestells，orhastoldforhim，asifitweresomethingnew。Asthedoctorwentout，hesaidtohimself，——"Ontherailatlast。Accommodationtrain。
　　Agoodmanystops，butwillgettothestationbyandby。"SothedoctorwrotearecipewiththeastrologicalsignofJupiterbeforeit，justasyourownphysiciandoes，inestimablereader，asyouwillsee，ifyoulookathisnextprescription，anddeparted，sayinghewouldlookinoccasionally。Afterthis，theLatintutorbegantheusualcourseof"gettingbetter，"untilhegotsomuchbetterthathisfacewasverysharp，andwhenhesmiled，threecrescentlinesshowedateachsideofhislips，andwhenhespoke；itwasinamuffledwhisper，andthewhiteofhiseyeglistenedaspearlyasthepurestporcelain，——somuchbetter，thathehoped——byspring——he——
　　mightbeable——to——attend——tohisclassagain——Buthewasrecommendednottoexposehimself，andsokepthischamber，andoccasionally，nothavinganythingtodo，hisbed。Theunmarriedsisterwithwhomhelivedtookcareofhim；andthechild，nowoldenoughtobemanageableandevenusefulintriflingoffices，satinthechamber，orplayed，about。
　　Thingscouldnotgoonsoforever，ofcourse。Onemorninghisfacewassunkenandhishandswerevery，verycold。Hewas"better，"hewhispered，butsadlyandfaintly。Afterawhilehegrewrestlessandseemedalittlewandering。Hismindranonhisclassics，andfellbackontheLatingrammar。
　　"Iris！"hesaid，——"，filiolamea！"——ThechildknewthismeantmydearlittledaughteraswellasifithadbeenEnglish——"Rainbow！
　　"forhewouldtranslatehernameattimes，——"cometome，——veni"——andhislipswentonautomatically，andmurmured，"velvenito！"——Thechildcameandsatbyhisbedsideandtookhishand，whichshecouldnotwarm，butwhichshotitsraysofcoldallthroughherslenderframe。Butthereshesat，lookingsteadilyathim。Presentlyheopenedhislipsfeebly，andwhispered，"Moribundus。"Shedidnotknowwhatthatmeant，butshesawthattherewassomethingnewandsad。Soshebegantocry；butpresentlyrememberinganoldbookthatseemedtocomforthimattimes，gotupandbroughtaBibleintheLatinversion，calledtheVulgate。"Openit，"hesaid，——"Iwillread，segniusirritant，——don’tputthelightout，——ah！hoeretlateri，——Iamgoing，——vale，vale，vale，goodbye，good-bye，——theLordtakecareofmychild！Domine，audi——velaudito！"Hisfacewhitenedsuddenly，andhelaystill，withopeneyesandmouth。Hehadtakenhislastdegree——
　　LittleMissIriscouldnotbesaidtobeginlifewithaverybrilliantrainbowoverher，inaworldlypointofview。Alimitedwardrobeofman’sattire，suchaspoortutorswear，——afewgoodbooks，principallyclassics，——aprintortwo，andaplastermodelofthePantheon，withsomepiecesoffurniturewhichhadseenservice，——
　　these，andachild’sheartfulloftearfulrecollectionsandstrangedoubtsandquestions，alternatingwiththecheappleasureswhicharetheanodynesofchildishgrief；suchwerethetreasuressheinherited——No，——Iforgot。Withthatkindlysentimentwhichallofusfeelforoldmen’sfirstchildren，——frost-flowersoftheearlywinterseason，theoldtutor’sstudentshadrememberedhimatatimewhenhewaslaughingandcryingwithhisnewparentalemotions，andrunningtothesideoftheplaincribinwhichhisalteregg，asheusedtosay，wasswinging，tohangoverthelittleheapofstirringclothes，fromwhichlookedtheminute，red，downy，still，roundface，withunfixedeyesandworkinglips，——inthatunearthlygravitywhichhasneveryetbeenbrokenbyasmile，andwhichgivestotheearliestmoon-yearortwoofaninfant’slifethecharacterofafirstoldage，tocounterpoisethatsecondchildhoodwhichthereisonechanceinadozenitmayreachbyandby。Theboyshadrememberedtheoldmanandyoungfatheratthattenderperiodofhishard，drylife。
　　Therecametohimafair，silvergoblet，embossedwithclassicalfigures，andbearingonashieldthegraverwords，Exdonopupillorum。Thehandleonitssideshowedwhatusetheboyshadmeantitfor；andakindletterinit，writtenwiththebestoffeeling，intheworstofLatin，pointeddelicatelytoitsdestination。Outofthissilvervessel，afteralong，desperate，stranglingcry，whichmarkedherfirstgreatlessonintherealitiesoflife，thechildtookthebluemilk，suchaspoortutorsandtheirchildrenget，temperedwithwater，andsweetenedalittle，soastobringitnearerthestandardestablishedbythetouchingindulgenceandpartialityofNature，——whohadmingledanextraallowanceofsugarintheblamelessfoodofthechildatitsmother’sbreast，ascomparedwiththatofitsinfantbrothersandsistersofthebovinerace。
　　Butawillowwillgrowinbakedsandwetwithrainwater。Anair-
　　plantwillgrowbyfeedingonthewinds。Nay，thosehugeforeststhatoverspreadgreatcontinentshavebuiltthemselvesupmainlyfromtheair-currentswithwhichtheyarealwaysbattling。Theoakisbutafoliatedatmosphericcrystaldepositedfromtheaerialoceanthatholdsthefuturevegetableworldinsolution。Thestormthattearsitsleaveshaspaidtributetoitsstrength，anditbreaststhetornadocladinthespoilsofahundredhurricanes。
　　PoorlittleIris！Whathadsheincommonwiththegreatoakintheshadowofwhichwearelosingsightofher？——Shelivedandgrewlikethat，——thiswasall。Thebluemilkranintoherveinsandfilledthemwiththin，pureblood。Herskinwasfair，withafainttinge，suchasthewhiterosebudshowsbeforeitopens。Thedoctorwhohadattendedherfatherwasafraidherauntwouldhardlybeableto"raise"her，——"delicatechild，"——hopedshewasnotconsumptive，——
　　thoughttherewasafairchanceshewouldtakeafterherfather。
　　Averyforlorn-lookingperson，dressedinblack，withawhiteneckcloth，sentheramemoirofachildwhodiedattheageoftwoyearsandelevenmonths，afterhavingfullyindorsedallthedoctrinesoftheparticularpersuasiontowhichhenotonlybelongedhimself，butthoughtitveryshamefulthateverybodyelsedidnotbelong。Whatwithforebodinglooksanddrearydeath-bedstories，itwasawonderthechildmadeouttolivethroughit。Itsaddenedherearlyyears，ofcourse，——itdistressedhertendersoulwiththoughtswhich，astheycannotbefullytakenin，shouldbesparinglyusedasinstrumentsoftorturetobreakdownthenaturalcheerfulnessofahealthychild，or，whatisinfinitelyworse，tocheatadyingoneoutofthekindillusionswithwhichtheFatherofAllhasstreweditsdownwardpath。
　　Thechildwouldhavedied，nodoubt，and，ifproperlymanaged，mighthaveaddedanothertothelongcatalogueofwastingchildrenwhohavebeenascruellyplayeduponbyspiritualphysiologists，oftenwiththebestintentions，aseverthesubjectofararediseasebythecuriousstudentsofscience。
　　Fortunatelyforher，however，awiseinstincthadguidedthelateLatintutorintheselectionofthepartnerofhislife，andthefuturemotherofhischild。Thedeceasedtutoresswasatranquil，smoothwoman，easilynourished，assuchpeopleare，——aqualitywhichisinestimableinatutor’swife，——andsoithappenedthatthedaughterinheritedenoughvitalityfromthemothertolivethroughchildhoodandinfancyandfightherwaytowardswomanhood，inspiteofthetendenciesshederivedfromherotherparent——
　　Twoandtwodonotalwaysmakefour，inthismatterofhereditarydescentofqualities。Sometimestheymakethree，andsometimesfive。
　　Itseemsasiftheparentaltraitsatonetimeshowedseparate，atanotherblended，——thatoccasionally，theforceoftwonaturesisrepresentedinthederivativeonebyadiagonalofgreatervaluethaneitheroriginallineoflivingmovement，——thatsometimesthereisalossofvitalityhardlytobeaccountedfor，andagainaforwardimpulseofvariableintensityinsomenewandunforeseendirection。
　　Soitwaswiththischild。Shehadglancedofffromherparentalprobabilitiesatanunexpectedangle。Insteadoftakingtoclassicallearninglikeherfather，orslidingquietlyintohouseholddutieslikehermother，shebrokeoutearlyineffortsthatpointedinthedirectionofArt。Assoonasshecouldholdapencilshebegantosketchoutlinesofobjectsroundherwithacertainairandspirit。
　　Veryextraordinaryhorses，buttheirlegslookedasiftheycouldmove。BirdsunknowntoAudubon，yetflying，asitwere，witharush。
　　Menwithimpossiblelegs，whichdidyetseemtohaveavitalconnectionwiththeirmostimprobablebodies。By-and-bythedoctor，onhisbeast，——anoldmanwithafacelookingasifTimehadkneadeditlikedoughwithhisknuckles，witharhubarbtintandflavorpervadinghimselfandhissorrelhorseandalltheirappurtenances。
　　Adreadfuloldman！Besureshedidnotforgetthosesaddle-bagsthatheldthedetestablebottlesoutofwhichheusedtoshakethoseloathsomepowderswhich，tovirginchildishpalatesthatfindheaveninstrawberriesandpeaches，are——Well，IsupposeIhadbetterstop。
　　Onlyshewishedshewasdeadsometimeswhensheheardhimcoming。
　　Onthenextleafwouldfigurethegentlemanwiththeblackcoatandwhitecravat，ashelookedwhenhecameandentertainedherwithstoriesconcerningthedeathofvariouslittlechildrenaboutherage，toencourageher，asthatwickedMr。ArouetsaidaboutshootingAdmiralByng。Thenshewouldtakeherpencil，andwithafewscratchestherewouldbetheoutlineofachild，inwhichyoumightnoticehowonesuddensweepgavethechubbycheek，andtwodotsdartedatthepaperlookedlikerealeyes。
　　By-and-byshewenttoschool，andcaricaturedtheschoolmasterontheleavesofhergrammarsandgeographies，anddrewthefacesofhercompanions，and，fromtimetotime，headsandfiguresfromherfancy，withlargeeyes，farapart，likethoseofRaffaelle’smothersandchildren，sometimeswithwildfloatinghair，andthenwithwingsandheadsthrownbackinecstasy。Thiswasatabouttwelveyearsold，asthedatesofthesedrawingsshow，and，therefore，threeorfouryearsbeforeshecameamongus。Soonafterthistime，theidealfiguresbegantotaketheplaceofportraitsandcaricatures，andanewfeatureappearedinherdrawing-booksintheformoffragmentsofverseandshortpoems。
　　Itwasdullwork，ofcourse，forsuchayounggirltolivewithanoldspinsterandgotoavillageschool。Herbooksboretestimonytothis；fortherewasalookofsadnessinthefacesshedrew，andasenseofwearinessandlongingforsomeimaginaryconditionsofblessednessorother，whichbegantobepainful。Shemighthavegonethroughthisfloweringofthesoul，and，castingherpetals，subsidedintoasober，humanberry，butfortheinterventionoffriendlyassistanceandcounsel。
　　Inthetownwhereshelivedwasaladyofhonorablecondition，somewhatpastmiddleage，whowaspossessedofprettyamplemeans，ofcultivatedtastes，ofexcellentprinciples，ofexemplarycharacter，andofmorethancommonaccomplishments。Thegentlemaninblackbroadclothandwhiteneckerchiefonlyechoedthecommonvoiceabouther，whenhecalledher，afterenjoying，beneathherhospitableroof，anexcellentcupoftea，withcertaineleganciesandluxurieshewas。
　　unaccustomedto，"TheModelofalltheVirtues。"
　　Shedeservedthistitleaswellasalmostanywoman。Shedidreallybristlewithmoralexcellences。Mentionanygoodthingshehadnotdone；Ishouldliketoseeyoutry！Therewasnohandleofweaknesstotakeholdofherby；shewasasunseizable，exceptinhertotality，asabilliard-ball；andonthebroad，green，terrestrialtable，whereshehadbeenknockedabout，likeallofus，bythecueofFortune，sheglancedfromeveryhumancontact，and"caromed"fromonerelationtoanother，andreboundedfromthestuffedcushionoftemptation，withsuchexactandperfectangularmovements，thattheEnemy’scorpsofReportershadlonggivenuptakingnotesofherconduct，astherewasnochancefortheirmaster。
　　Whatanadmirablepersonforthepatronessanddirectressofaslightlyself-willedchild，withthelightningzigzaglineofgeniusrunninglikeaglitteringveinthroughthemarblewhitenessofhervirginnature！Oneofthelady-patroness’speculiarvirtueswascalmness。Shewasresoluteandstrenuous，butstill。Youcoulddependonherforeveryduty；shewasastrueassteel。Shewaskind-heartedandserviceableinalltherelationsoflife。Shehadmoresense，moreknowledge，moreconversation，aswellasmoregoodness，thanallthepartnersyouhavewaltzedwiththiswinterputtogether。
　　Yetnomanwasknowntohavelovedher，oreventohaveofferedhimselftoherinmarriage。Itwasagreatwonder。IamveryanxioustovindicatemycharacterasaphilosopherandanobserverofNaturebyaccountingforthisapparentlyextraordinaryfact。
　　Youmayremembercertainpersonswhohavethemisfortuneofpresentingtothefriendswhomtheymeetacold，damphand。Therearestatesofmindinwhichacontactofthiskindhasadepressingeffectonthevitalpowersthatmakesusinsensibletoallthevirtuesandgracesoftheproprietorofoneoftheselife-absorbingorgans。Whentheytouchus，virtuepassesoutofus，andwefeelasifourelectricityhadbeendrainedbyapowerfulnegativebattery，carriedaboutbyanovergrownhumantorpedo。
　　"TheModelofalltheVirtues"hadapairofsearchingeyesasclearasWenhamice；buttheywereslowertomeltthanthatficklejewelry。
　　Herfeaturesdisorderedthemselvesslightlyattimesinasurface-
　　smile，butneverbrokeloosefromtheircornersandindulgedintheriotoustumultofalaugh，——which，Itakeit，isthemob-lawofthefeatures；——andproprietythemagistratewhoreadstheriot-act。Shecarriedthebrimmingcupofherinestimablevirtueswithacautious，steadyhand，andaneyealwaysonthem，toseethattheydidnotspill。Thenshewasanadmirablejudgeofcharacter。Hermindwasaperfectlaboratoryoftestsandreagents；everysyllableyouputintobreathwentintoherintellectualeudiometer，andallyourthoughtswererecordedonlitmus-paper。Ithinktherehasrarelybeenamoreadmirablewoman。Ofcourse，MissIriswasimmenselyandpassionatelyattachedtoher——Well，——thesearetwohighlyoxygenatedadverbs，——
　　grateful，——supposewesay，——yes，——grateful，dutiful，obedienttoherwishesforthemostpart，——perhapsnotquiteuptotheconcertpitchofsuchaperfectorchestraofthevirtues。
　　Wemusthaveaweakspotortwoinacharacterbeforewecanloveitmuch。Peoplethatdonotlaughorcry，ortakemoreofanythingthanisgoodforthem，oruseanythingbutdictionary-words，areadmirablesubjectsforbiographies。Butwedon’talwayscaremostforthoseflat-patternflowersthatpressbestintheherbarium。
　　Thisimmaculatewoman，——whycouldn’tshehaveafaultortwo？
　　Isn’tthereanyoldwhisperwhichwilltarnishthatwearisomeaureoleofsaintlyperfection？Doesn’tshecarryalumpofopiuminherpocket？Isn’thercologne-bottlereplenishedoftenerthanitslegitimateusewouldrequire？Itwouldbesuchacomfort！
　　NotfortheworldwouldayoungcreaturelikeIrishaveletsuchwordsescapeher，orsuchthoughtspassthroughhermind。Whetheratthebottomofhersoulliesanyuneasyconsciousnessofanoppressivepresence，itishardtosay，untilweknowmoreabouther。IrissitsbetweentheLittleGentlemanandthe"ModelofalltheVirtues，"astheblack-coatedpersonagecalledher——Iwillwatchthemall——
　　HereIstopforthepresent。WhattheProfessorsaidhashadtomakewaythistimeforwhathesawandheard-
　　Andnowyoumayreadtheselines，whichwerewrittenforgentlesoulswholovemusic，andreadineventones，and，perhaps，withsomethinglikeasmileuponthereader’slips，atameetingwherethesemusicalfriendshadgathered。Whethertheywerewrittenwithsmilesornot，youcanguessbetterafteryouhavereadthem。
　　THEOPENINGOFTHEPIANO。
　　InthelittlesouthernparlorofthehouseyoumayhaveseenWiththegambrel-roof，andthegablelookingwestwardtothegreen，Atthesidetowardthesunset，withthewindowonitsright，StoodtheLondon-madepianoIamdreamingofto-night。
　　Ahme！howIremembertheeveningwhenitcame！
　　Whatacryofeagervoices，whatagroupofcheeksinflame，Whenthewondrousboawasopenedthathadcomefromoverseas，Withitssmellofmastic-varnishanditsflashofivorykeys！
　　Thenthechildrenallgrewfretfulintherestlessnessofjoy，Fortheboywouldpushhissister，andthesistercrowdtheboy，Tillthefatheraskedforquietinhisgravepaternalway，Butthemotherhushedthetumultwiththewords，"Now，Mary，play。"
　　Forthedearsoulknewthatmusicwasaverysovereignbalm；
　　ShehadsprinkleditoverSorrowandseenitsbrowgrowcalm，Inthedaysofslenderharpsichordswithtappingtinklingquills，Orcarolingtoherspinetwithitsthinmetallicthrills。
　　SoMary，thehouseholdminstrel，whoalwayslovedtoplease，Satdowntothenew"Clementi，"andstrucktheglitteringkeys。
　　Hushedwerethechildren’svoices，andeveryeyegrewdim，As，floatingfromlipandfinger，arosethe"VesperHymn。"——
　　Catharine，childofaneighbor，curlyandrosy-red，Weddedsince，andawidow，——somethingliketenyearsdead，
　　Hearingagushofmusicsuchasnonebefore，Stealsfromhermother’schamberandpeepsattheopendoor。
　　Justasthe"Jubilate"inthreadedwhisperdies，——"Openit！openit，lady！"thelittlemaidencries，Forshethought’twasasingingcreaturecagedinaboxsheheard，
　　"Openit！openit，lady！andletmeseethebird！"
　　IV
　　Idon’tknowwhetherourliteraryorprofessionalpeoplearemoreamiablethantheyareinotherplaces，butcertainlyquarrellingisoutoffashionamongthem。Thiscouldneverbe，iftheywereinthehabitofsecretanonymouspuffingofeachother。Thatisthekindofundergroundmachinerywhichmanufacturesfalsereputationsandgenuinehatreds。Ontheotherhand，Ishouldliketoknowifwearenotatlibertytohaveagoodtimetogether，andsaythepleasantestthingswecanthinkoftoeachother，whenanyofusreacheshisthirtiethorfortiethorfiftiethoreightiethbirthday。
　　Wedon’thave"scenes，"Iwarrantyou，ontheseoccasions。No"surprise"parties！Youunderstandthese，ofcourse。Intheruraldistricts，wherescenictragedyandmelodramacannotbehad，asinthecity，attheexpenseofaquarterandawhitepocket-
　　handkerchief，emotionalexcitementhastobesoughtinthedramasofreallife。Christenings，weddings，andfunerals，especiallythelatter，arethemaindependence；butbabies，brides，anddeceasedcitizenscannotbehadataday’snotice。Now，then，forasurprise-
　　party！