ThatheisrightinhisestimationIamabsolutelypersuaded。
　　"ItpuzzlesmemuchtothinkhowonearththeprinceguessedyesterdaythatIhavehadbaddreams。Hesaidtome，’YourexcitementanddreamswillfindreliefatPavlofsk。’Whydidhesay’dreams’？Eitherheisadoctor，orelseheisamanofexceptionalintelligenceandwonderfulpowersofobservation。
　　Butthatheisan’idiot，’atbottomtherecanbenodoubtwhatever。ItsohappenedthatjustbeforehearrivedIhadadelightfullittledream；oneofakindthatIhavehundredsofjustnow。Ihadfallenasleepaboutanhourbeforehecamein，anddreamedthatIwasinsomeroom，notmyown。Itwasalargeroom，wellfurnished，withacupboard，chestofdrawers，sofa，andmybed，afinewidebedcoveredwithasilkencounterpane。
　　ButIobservedintheroomadreadful-lookingcreature，asortofmonster。Itwasalittlelikeascorpion，butwasnotascorpion，butfarmorehorrible，andespeciallyso，becausetherearenocreaturesanythinglikeitinnature，andbecauseithadappearedtomeforapurpose，andboresomemysterioussignification。I
　　lookedatthebeastwell；itwasbrownincolourandhadashell；
　　itwasacrawlingkindofreptile，abouteightincheslong，andnarroweddownfromthehead，whichwasaboutacoupleoffingersinwidth，totheendofthetail，whichcametoafinepoint。Outofitstrunk，aboutacoupleofinchesbelowitshead，cametwolegsatanangleofforty-fivedegrees，eachaboutthreeincheslong，sothatthebeastlookedlikeatridentfromabove。Ithadeighthardneedle-likewhiskerscomingoutfromdifferentpartsofitsbody；itwentalonglikeasnake，bendingitsbodyaboutinspiteoftheshellitwore，anditsmotionwasveryquickandveryhorribletolookat。Iwasdreadfullyafraiditwouldstingme；somebodyhadtoldme，Ithought，thatitwasvenomous；butwhattormentedmemostofallwasthewonderingandwonderingastowhohadsentitintomyroom，andwhatwasthemysterywhichI
　　feltitcontained。
　　"Ithiditselfunderthecupboardandunderthechestofdrawers，andcrawledintothecorners。Isatonachairandkeptmylegstuckedunderme。Thenthebeastcrawledquietlyacrosstheroomanddisappearedsomewherenearmychair。Ilookedaboutforitinterror，butIstillhopedthatasmyfeetweresafelytuckedawayitwouldnotbeabletotouchme。
　　"SuddenlyIheardbehindme，andaboutonalevelwithmyhead，asortofrattlingsound。Iturnedsharproundandsawthatthebrutehadcrawledupthewallashighasthelevelofmyface，andthatitshorribletail，whichwasmovingincrediblyfastfromsidetoside，wasactuallytouchingmyhair！Ijumpedup——anditdisappeared。Ididnotdareliedownonmybedforfearitshouldcreepundermypillow。Mymothercameintotheroom，andsomefriendsofhers。TheybegantohuntforthereptileandweremorecomposedthanIwas；theydidnotseemtobeafraidofit。ButtheydidnotunderstandasIdid。
　　"Suddenlythemonsterreappeared；itcrawledslowlyacrosstheroomandmadeforthedoor，asthoughwithsomefixedintention，andwithaslowmovementthatwasmorehorriblethanever。
　　"Thenmymotheropenedthedoorandcalledmydog，Norma。NormawasagreatNewfoundland，anddiedfiveyearsago。
　　"Shesprangforwardandstoodstillinfrontofthereptileasifshehadbeenturnedtostone。Thebeaststoppedtoo，butitstailandclawsstillmovedabout。Ibelieveanimalsareincapableoffeelingsupernaturalfright——ifIhavebeenrightlyinformed，——butatthismomentthereappearedtometobesomethingmorethanordinaryaboutNorma’sterror，asthoughitmustbesupernatural；
　　andasthoughshefelt，justasIdidmyself，thatthisreptilewasconnectedwithsomemysterioussecret，somefatalomen。
　　"Normabackedslowlyandcarefullyawayfromthebrute，whichfollowedher，creepingdeliberatelyafterherasthoughitintendedtomakeasuddendartandstingher。
　　"InspiteofNorma’sterrorshelookedfurious，thoughshetrembledinallherlimbs。Atlengthsheslowlybaredherterribleteeth，openedhergreatredjaws，hesitated——tookcourage，andseizedthebeastinhermouth。Itseemedtotrytodartoutofherjawstwice，butNormacaughtatitandhalfswalloweditasitwasescaping。Theshellcrackedinherteeth；
　　andthetailandlegsstuckoutofhermouthandshookaboutinahorriblemanner。SuddenlyNormagaveapiteouswhine；thereptilehadbittenhertongue。Sheopenedhermouthwidewiththepain，andIsawthebeastlyingacrosshertongue，andoutofitsbody，whichwasalmostbittenintwo，cameahideouswhite-lookingsubstance，oozingoutintoNorma’smouth；itwasoftheconsistencyofacrushedblack-beetle。justthenIawokeandtheprinceenteredtheroom。"
　　"Gentlemen！"saidHippolyte，breakingoffhere，"Ihavenotdoneyet，butitseemstomethatIhavewrittendownagreatdealherethatisunnecessary，——thisdream——"
　　"Youhaveindeed！"saidGania。
　　"Thereistoomuchaboutmyself，Iknow，but——"AsHippolytesaidthishisfaceworeatired，painedlook，andhewipedthesweatoffhisbrow。
　　"Yes，"saidLebedeff，"youcertainlythinkagreatdealtoomuchaboutyourself。"
　　"Well——gentlemen——Idonotforceanyonetolisten！Ifanyofyouareunwillingtosititout，pleasegoaway，byallmeans！"
　　"Heturnspeopleoutofahousethatisn’thisown，"mutteredRogojin。
　　"Supposeweallgoaway？"saidFerdishenkosuddenly。
　　Hippolyteclutchedhismanuscript，andgazingatthelastspeakerwithglitteringeyes，said:"Youdon’tlikemeatall！"Afewlaughedatthis，butnotall。
　　"Hippolyte，"saidtheprince，"givemethepapers，andgotobedlikeasensiblefellow。We’llhaveagoodtalktomorrow，butyoureallymustn’tgoonwiththisreading；itisnotgoodforyou！"
　　"HowcanI？HowcanI？"criedHippolyte，lookingathiminamazement。"Gentlemen！Iwasafool！Iwon’tbreakoffagain。
　　Listen，everyonewhowantsto！"
　　Hegulpeddownsomewateroutofaglassstandingnear，bentoverthetable，inordertohidehisfacefromtheaudience，andrecommenced。
　　"Theideathatitisnotworthwhilelivingforafewweekstookpossessionofmeamonthago，whenIwastoldthatIhadfourweekstolive，butonlypartiallysoatthattime。Theideaquiteovermasteredmethreedayssince，thateveningatPavlofsk。ThefirsttimethatIfeltreallyimpressedwiththisthoughtwasontheterraceattheprince’s，attheverymomentwhenIhadtakenitintomyheadtomakealasttrialoflife。IwantedtoseepeopleandtreesIbelieveIsaidsomyself，Igotexcited，I
　　maintainedBurdovsky’srights，’myneighbour！’——Idreamtthatoneandallwouldopentheirarms，andembraceme，thattherewouldbeanindescribableexchangeofforgivenessbetweenusall！Inaword，Ibehavedlikeafool，andthen，atthatverysameinstant，Ifeltmy’lastconviction。’IaskmyselfnowhowIcouldhavewaitedsixmonthsforthatconviction！IknewthatIhadadiseasethatsparesnoone，andIreallyhadnoillusions；butthemoreIrealizedmycondition，themoreIclungtolife；I
　　wantedtoliveatanyprice。IconfessImightwellhaveresentedthatblind，deaffate，which，withnoapparentreason，seemedtohavedecidedtocrushmelikeafly；butwhydidInotstopatresentment？WhydidIbegintolive，knowingthatitwasnotworthwhiletobegin？WhydidIattempttodowhatIknewtobeanimpossibility？AndyetIcouldnotevenreadabooktotheend；Ihadgivenupreading。Whatisthegoodofreading，whatisthegoodoflearninganything，forjustsixmonths？Thatthoughthasmademethrowasideabookmorethanonce。
　　"Yes，thatwallofMeyer’scouldtellataleifitliked。TherewasnospotonitsdirtysurfacethatIdidnotknowbyheart。
　　Accursedwall！andyetitisdearertomethanallthePavlofsktrees！——Thatis——itWOULDbedearerifitwerenotallthesametome，now！
　　"IremembernowwithwhathungryinterestIbegantowatchthelivesofotherpeople——interestthatIhadneverfeltbefore！I
　　usedtowaitforColia’sarrivalimpatiently，forIwassoillmyself，then，thatIcouldnotleavethehouse。Isothrewmyselfintoeverylittledetailofnews，andtooksomuchinterestineveryreportandrumour，thatIbelieveIbecamearegulargossip！Icouldnotunderstand，amongotherthings，howallthesepeople——withsomuchlifeinandbeforethem——donotbecomeRICH——
　　andIdon’tunderstanditnow。IrememberbeingtoldofapoorwretchIonceknew，whohaddiedofhunger。Iwasalmostbesidemyselfwithrage！IbelieveifIcouldhaveresuscitatedhimI
　　wouldhavedonesoforthesolepurposeofmurderinghim！
　　"OccasionallyIwassomuchbetterthatIcouldgoout；butthestreetsusedtoputmeinsucharagethatIwouldlockmyselfupfordaysratherthangoout，evenifIwerewellenoughtodoso！
　　Icouldnotbeartoseeallthosepreoccupied，anxious-lookingcreaturescontinuouslysurgingalongthestreetspastme！Whyaretheyalwaysanxious？Whatisthemeaningoftheireternalcareandworry？Itistheirwickedness，theirperpetualdetestablemalice——that’swhatitis——theyareallfullofmalice，malice！
　　"Whosefaultisitthattheyareallmiserable，thattheydon’tknowhowtolive，thoughtheyhavefiftyorsixtyyearsoflifebeforethem？Whydidthatfoolallowhimselftodieofhungerwithsixtyyearsofunlivedlifebeforehim？
　　"Andeveryoneofthemshowshisrags，histoil-wornhands，andyellsinhiswrath:’Herearewe，workinglikecattleallourlives，andalwaysashungryasdogs，andthereareotherswhodonotwork，andarefatandrich！’Theeternalrefrain！Andsidebysidewiththemtrotsalongsomewretchedfellowwhohasknownbetterdays，doinglightporter’sworkfrommorntonightforaliving，alwaysblubberingandsayingthat’hiswifediedbecausehehadnomoneytobuymedicinewith，’andhischildrendyingofcoldandhunger，andhiseldestdaughtergonetothebad，andsoon。Oh！Ihavenopityandnopatienceforthesefoolsofpeople。
　　Whycan’ttheybeRothschilds？WhosefaultisitthatamanhasnotgotmillionsofmoneylikeRothschild？Ifhehaslife，allthismustbeinhispower！Whosefaultisitthathedoesnotknowhowtolivehislife？
　　"Oh！it’sallthesametomenow——NOW！ButatthattimeIwouldsoakmypillowatnightwithtearsofmortification，andtearatmyblanketinmyrageandfury。Oh，howIlongedatthattimetobeturnedout——ME，eighteenyearsold，poor，half-clothed，turnedoutintothestreet，quitealone，withoutlodging，withoutwork，withoutacrustofbread，withoutrelations，withoutasingleacquaintance，insomelargetown——hungry，beatenifyoulike，butingoodhealth——andTHENIwouldshowthem——
　　"WhatwouldIshowthem？
　　"Oh，don’tthinkthatIhavenosenseofmyownhumiliation！I
　　havesufferedalreadyinreadingsofar。Whichofyoualldoesnotthinkmeafoolatthismoment——ayoungfoolwhoknowsnothingoflife——forgettingthattoliveasIhavelivedtheselastsixmonthsistolivelongerthangrey-hairedoldmen。Well，letthemlaugh，andsayitisallnonsense，iftheyplease。Theymaysayitisallfairy-tales，iftheylike；andIhavespentwholenightstellingmyselffairy-tales。Irememberthemall。ButhowcanItellfairy-talesnow？Thetimeforthemisover。TheyamusedmewhenIfoundthattherewasnoteventimeformetolearntheGreekgrammar，asIwantedtodo。’IshalldiebeforeI
　　gettothesyntax，’Ithoughtatthefirstpage——andthrewthebookunderthetable。Itistherestill，forIforbadeanyonetopickitup。
　　"Ifthis’Explanation’getsintoanybody’shands，andtheyhavepatiencetoreaditthrough，theymayconsidermeamadman，oraschoolboy，or，morelikely，amancondemnedtodie，whothoughtitonlynaturaltoconcludethatallmen，exceptinghimself，esteemlifefartoolightly，liveitfartoocarelesslyandlazily，andare，therefore，oneandall，unworthyofit。Well，I
　　affirmthatmyreaderiswrongagain，formyconvictionshavenothingtodowithmysentenceofdeath。Askthem，askanyoneofthem，orallofthem，whattheymeanbyhappiness！Oh，youmaybeperfectlysurethatifColumbuswashappy，itwasnotafterhehaddiscoveredAmerica，butwhenhewasdiscoveringit！YoumaybequitesurethathereachedtheculminatingpointofhishappinessthreedaysbeforehesawtheNewWorldwithhisactualeves，whenhismutinoussailorswantedtotackabout，andreturntoEurope！WhatdidtheNewWorldmatterafterall？Columbushadhardlyseenitwhenhedied，andinrealityhewasentirelyignorantofwhathehaddiscovered。Theimportantthingislife——
　　lifeandnothingelse！Whatisany’discovery’whatevercomparedwiththeincessant，eternaldiscoveryoflife？
　　"Butwhatistheuseoftalking？I’mafraidallthisissocommonplacethatmyconfessionwillbetakenforaschoolboyexercise——theworkofsomeambitiousladwritinginthehopeofhiswork’seeingthelight’；orperhapsmyreaderswillsaythat’Ihadperhapssomethingtosay，butdidnotknowhowtoexpressit。’
　　"Letmeaddtothisthatineveryideaemanatingfromgenius，orevenineveryserioushumanidea——borninthehumanbrain——therealwaysremainssomething——somesediment——whichcannotbeexpressedtoothers，thoughonewrotevolumesandlectureduponitforfive-and-thirtyyears。Thereisalwaysasomething，aremnant，whichwillnevercomeoutfromyourbrain，butwillremaintherewithyou，andyoualone，foreverandever，andyouwilldie，perhaps，withouthavingimpartedwhatmaybetheveryessenceofyourideatoasinglelivingsoul。
　　"SothatifIcannotnowimpartallthathastormentedmeforthelastsixmonths，atalleventsyouwillunderstandthat，havingreachedmy’lastconvictions，’Imusthavepaidaverydearpriceforthem。ThatiswhatIwished，forreasonsofmyown，tomakeapointofinthismy’Explanation。’
　　"Butletmeresume。
　　VI。
　　"IWILLnotdeceiveyou。’Reality’gotmesoentrappedinitsmeshesnowandagainduringthepastsixmonths，thatIforgotmy’sentence’orperhapsIdidnotwishtothinkofit，andactuallybusiedmyselfwithaffairs。
　　"Awordastomycircumstances。When，eightmonthssince，I
　　becameveryill，Ithrewupallmyoldconnectionsanddroppedallmyoldcompanions。AsIwasalwaysagloomy，morosesortofindividual，myfriendseasilyforgotme；ofcourse，theywouldhaveforgottenmeallthesame，withoutthatexcuse。Mypositionathomewassolitaryenough。FivemonthsagoIseparatedmyselfentirelyfromthefamily，andnoonedaredentermyroomexceptatstatedtimes，tocleanandtidyit，andsoon，andtobringmemymeals。Mymotherdarednotdisobeyme；shekeptthechildrenquiet，formysake，andbeatthemiftheydaredtomakeanynoiseanddisturbme。IsooftencomplainedofthemthatIshouldthinktheymustbeveryfond，indeed，ofmebythistime。IthinkI
　　musthavetormented’myfaithfulColia’asIcalledhimagooddealtoo。Hetormentedmeoflate；Icouldseethathealwaysboremytempersasthoughhehaddeterminedto’sparethepoorinvalid。’Thisannoyedme，naturally。HeseemedtohavetakenitintohisheadtoimitatetheprinceinChristianmeekness！Surikoff，wholivedaboveus，annoyedme，too。Hewassomiserablypoor，andIusedtoprovetohimthathehadnoonetoblamebuthimselfforhispoverty。IusedtobesoangrythatIthinkIfrightenedhimeventually，forhestoppedcomingtoseeme。Hewasamostmeekandhumblefellow，wasSurikoff。N。B——
　　Theysaythatmeeknessisagreatpower。Imustasktheprinceaboutthis，fortheexpressionishis。ButIrememberonedayinMarch，whenIwentuptohislodgingstoseewhetheritwastruethatoneofhischildrenhadbeenstarvedandfrozentodeath，I
　　begantoholdforthtohimabouthispovertybeinghisownfault，and，inthecourseofmyremarks，Iaccidentallysmiledatthecorpseofhischild。Well，thepoorwretch’slipsbegantotremble，andhecaughtmebytheshoulder，andpushedmetothedoor。’Goout，’hesaid，inawhisper。Iwentout，ofcourse，andIdeclareILIKEDit。IlikeditattheverymomentwhenIwasturnedout。ButhiswordsfilledmewithastrangesortoffeelingofdisdainfulpityforhimwheneverIthoughtofthem——afeelingwhichIdidnotintheleastdesiretoentertain。AttheverymomentoftheinsultforIadmitthatIdidinsulthim，thoughIdidnotmeanto，thismancouldnotlosehistemper。
　　Hislipshadtrembled，butIswearitwasnotwithrage。Hehadtakenmebythearm，andsaid，’Goout，’withouttheleastanger。
　　Therewasdignity，agreatdealofdignity，abouthim，anditwassoinconsistentwiththelookofhimthat，Iassureyou，itwasquitecomical。Buttherewasnoanger。Perhapshemerelybegantodespisemeatthatmoment。
　　"Sincethattimehehasalwaystakenoffhishattomeonthestairs，wheneverImethim，whichisathingheneverdidbefore；
　　buthealwaysgetsawayfrommeasquicklyashecan，asthoughhefeltconfused。Ifhediddespiseme，hedespisedme’meekly，’
　　afterhisownfashion。
　　"Idaresayheonlytookhishatoffoutoffear，asitwere，tothesonofhiscreditor；forhealwaysowedmymothermoney。I
　　thoughtofhavinganexplanationwithhim，butIknewthatifI
　　did，hewouldbegintoapologizeinaminuteortwo，soIdecidedtolethimalone。
　　"Justaboutthattime，thatis，themiddleofMarch，Isuddenlyfeltverymuchbetter；thiscontinuedforacoupleofweeks。I
　　usedtogooutatdusk。Ilikethedusk，especiallyinMarch，whenthenightfrostbeginstohardentheday’spuddles，andthegasisburning。
　　"Well，onenightintheShestilavochnaya，amanpassedmewithapaperparcelunderhisarm。Ididnottakestockofhimverycarefully，butheseemedtobedressedinsomeshabbysummerdust-coat，muchtoolightfortheseason。Whenhewasoppositethelamp-post，sometenyardsaway，Iobservedsomethingfalloutofhispocket。Ihurriedforwardtopickitup，justintime，foranoldwretchinalongkaftanrusheduptoo。Hedidnotdisputethematter，butglancedatwhatwasinmyhandanddisappeared。
　　"Itwasalargeold-fashionedpocket-book，stuffedfull；butI
　　guessed，ataglance，thatithadanythingintheworldinsideit，exceptmoney。
　　"Theownerwasnowsomefortyyardsaheadofme，andwasverysoonlostinthecrowd。Iranafterhim，andbegancallingout；
　　butasIknewnothingtosayexcepting’hey！’hedidnotturnround。Suddenlyheturnedintothegateofahousetotheleft；
　　andwhenIdartedinafterhim，thegatewaywassodarkthatI
　　couldseenothingwhatever。Itwasoneofthoselargehousesbuiltinsmalltenements，ofwhichtheremusthavebeenatleastahundred。
　　"WhenIenteredtheyardIthoughtIsawamangoingalongonthefarsideofit；butitwassodarkIcouldnotmakeouthisfigure。
　　"Icrossedtothatcornerandfoundadirtydarkstaircase。I
　　heardamanmountingupaboveme，somewayhigherthanIwas，andthinkingIshouldcatchhimbeforehisdoorwouldbeopenedtohim，Irushedafterhim。Iheardadooropenandshutonthefifthstorey，asIpantedalong；thestairswerenarrow，andthestepsinnumerable，butatlastIreachedthedoorIthoughttherightone。SomemomentspassedbeforeIfoundthebellandgotittoring。
　　"Anoldpeasantwomanopenedthedoor；shewasbusylightingthe’samovar’inatinykitchen。Shelistenedsilentlytomyquestions，didnotunderstandaword，ofcourse，andopenedanotherdoorleadingintoalittlebitofaroom，lowandscarcelyfurnishedatall，butwithalarge，widebedinit，hungwithcurtains。OnthisbedlayoneTerentich，asthewomancalledhim，drunk，itappearedtome。Onthetablewasanendofcandleinanironcandlestick，andahalf-bottleofvodka，nearlyfinished。Terentichmutteredsomethingtome，andsignedtowardsthenextroom。Theoldwomanhaddisappeared，sotherewasnothingformetodobuttoopenthedoorindicated。Ididso，andenteredthenextroom。
　　"Thiswasstillsmallerthantheother，socrampedthatIcouldscarcelyturnround；anarrowsinglebedatonesidetookupnearlyalltheroom。Besidesthebedtherewereonlythreecommonchairs，andawretchedoldkitchen-tablestandingbeforeasmallsofa。Onecouldhardlysqueezethroughbetweenthetableandthebed。
　　"Onthetable，asintheotherroom，burnedatallowcandle-endinanironcandlestick；andonthebedtherewhinedababyofscarcelythreeweeksold。Apale-lookingwomanwasdressingthechild，probablythemother；shelookedasthoughshehadnotasyetgotoverthetroubleofchildbirth，sheseemedsoweakandwassocarelesslydressed。Anotherchild，alittlegirlofaboutthreeyearsold，layonthesofa，coveredoverwithwhatlookedlikeaman’solddress-coat。
　　"Atthetablestoodamaninhisshirtsleeves；hehadthrownoffhiscoat；itlayuponthebed；andhewasunfoldingabluepaperparcelinwhichwereacoupleofpoundsofbread，andsomelittlesausages。
　　"Onthetablealongwiththesethingswereafewoldbitsofblackbread，andsometeainapot。Fromunderthebedthereprotrudedanopenportmanteaufullofbundlesofrags。Inaword，theconfusionanduntidinessoftheroomwereindescribable。
　　"Itappearedtome，atthefirstglance，thatboththemanandthewomanwererespectablepeople，butbroughttothatpitchofpovertywhereuntidinessseemstogetthebetterofeveryefforttocopewithit，tillatlasttheytakeasortofbittersatisfactioninit。WhenIenteredtheroom，theman，whohadenteredbutamomentbeforeme，andwasstillunpackinghisparcels，wassayingsomethingtohiswifeinanexcitedmanner。
　　Thenewswasapparentlybad，asusual，forthewomanbeganwhimpering。Theman’sfaceseemedtometoberefinedandevenpleasant。Hewasdark-complexioned，andabouttwenty-eightyearsofage；heworeblackwhiskers，andhislipandchinwereshaved。
　　Helookedmorose，butwithasortofprideofexpression。A
　　curiousscenefollowed。
　　"Therearepeoplewhofindsatisfactionintheirowntouchyfeelings，especiallywhentheyhavejusttakenthedeepestoffence；atsuchmomentstheyfeelthattheywouldratherbeoffendedthannot。Theseeasily-ignitednatures，iftheyarewise，arealwaysfullofremorseafterwards，whentheyreflectthattheyhavebeententimesasangryastheyneedhavebeen。
　　"Thegentlemanbeforemegazedatmeforsomesecondsinamazement，andhiswifeinterror；asthoughtherewassomethingalarminglyextraordinaryinthefactthatanyonecouldcometoseethem。Butsuddenlyhefelluponmealmostwithfury；Ihadhadnotimetomuttermorethanacoupleofwords；buthehaddoubtlessobservedthatIwasdecentlydressedand，therefore，tookdeepoffencebecauseIhaddaredenterhisdensounceremoniously，andspyoutthesqualoranduntidinessofit。
　　"Ofcoursehewasdelightedtogetholdofsomeoneuponwhomtoventhisrageagainstthingsingeneral。
　　"ForamomentIthoughthewouldassaultme；hegrewsopalethathelookedlikeawomanabouttohavehysterics；hiswifewasdreadfullyalarmed。
　　"’Howdareyoucomeinso？Beoff！’heshouted，tremblingalloverwithrageandscarcelyabletoarticulatethewords。
　　Suddenly，however，heobservedhispocketbookinmyhand。
　　"’Ithinkyoudroppedthis，’Iremarked，asquietlyanddrilyasIcould。Ithoughtitbesttotreathimso。Forsomewhilehestoodbeforemeindownrightterror，andseemedunabletounderstand。Hethensuddenlygrabbedathisside-pocket，openedhismouthinalarm，andbeathisforeheadwithhishand。
　　"’MyGod！’hecried，’wheredidyoufindit？How？’IexplainedinasfewwordsasIcould，andasdrilyaspossible，howIhadseenitandpickeditup；howIhadrunafterhim，andcalledouttohim，andhowIhadfollowedhimupstairsandgropedmywaytohisdoor。
　　"’GraciousHeaven！’hecried，’allourpapersareinit！Mydearsir，youlittleknowwhatyouhavedoneforus。Ishouldhavebeenlost——lost！’
　　"Ihadtakenholdofthedoor-handlemeanwhile，intendingtoleavetheroomwithoutreply；butIwaspantingwithmyrunupstairs，andmyexhaustioncametoaclimaxinaviolentfitofcoughing，sobadthatIcouldhardlystand。
　　"Isawhowthemandashedabouttheroomtofindmeanemptychair，howhekickedtheragsoffachairwhichwascoveredupbythem，broughtittome，andhelpedmetositdown；butmycoughwentonforanotherthreeminutesorso。WhenIcametomyselfhewassittingbymeonanotherchair，whichhehadalsoclearedoftherubbishbythrowingitalloverthefloor，andwaswatchingmeintently。
　　"’I’mafraidyouareill？’heremarked，inthetonewhichdoctorsusewhentheyaddressapatient。’Iammyselfamedicalman’hedidnotsay’doctor’，withwhichwordshewavedhishandstowardstheroomanditscontentsasthoughinprotestathispresentcondition。’Iseethatyou——’
　　"’I’minconsumption，’Isaidlaconically，risingfrommyseat。
　　Hejumpedup，too。
　　"’Perhapsyouareexaggerating——ifyouweretotakepropermeasuresperhaps——"
　　"Hewasterriblyconfusedanddidnotseemabletocollecthisscatteredsenses；thepocket-bookwasstillinhislefthand。
　　"’Oh，don’tmindme，’Isaid。’Dr。B——sawmelastweek’I
　　luggedhiminagain，’andmyhashisquitesettled；pardonme-’
　　Itookholdofthedoor-handleagain。Iwasonthepointofopeningthedoorandleavingmygratefulbutconfusedmedicalfriendtohimselfandhisshame，whenmydamnablecoughgotholdofmeagain。
　　"Mydoctorinsistedonmysittingdownagaintogetmybreath。Henowsaidsomethingtohiswifewho，withoutleavingherplace，addressedafewwordsofgratitudeandcourtesytome。Sheseemedveryshyoverit，andhersicklyfaceflushedupwithconfusion。
　　Iremained，butwiththeairofamanwhoknowsheisintrudingandisanxioustogetaway。Thedoctor’sremorseatlastseemedtoneedavent，Icouldsee。
　　"’IfI——’hebegan，breakingoffabruptlyeveryothermoment，andstartinganothersentence。’I-Iamsoverygratefultoyou，andI
　　amsomuchtoblameinyoureyes，Ifeelsure，I——yousee——’hepointedtotheroomagain’atthismomentIaminsuchaposition-’
　　"’Oh！’Isaid，’there’snothingtosee；it’squiteaclearcase——
　　you’velostyourpostandhavecomeuptomakeexplanationsandgetanother，ifyoucan！’
　　"’Howdoyouknowthat？’heaskedinamazement。
　　"’Oh，itwasevidentatthefirstglance，’Isaidironically，butnotintentionallyso。’Therearelotsofpeoplewhocomeupfromtheprovincesfullofhope，andrunabouttown，andhavetoliveasbesttheycan。’
　　"Hebegantotalkatonceexcitedlyandwithtremblinglips；hebegancomplainingandtellingmehisstory。Heinterestedme，I
　　confess；Isattherenearlyanhour。Hisstorywasaveryordinaryone。Hehadbeenaprovincialdoctor；hehadacivilappointment，andhadnosoonertakenitupthanintriguesbegan。
　　Evenhiswifewasdraggedintothese。Hewasproud，andflewintoapassion；therewasachangeoflocalgovernmentwhichactedinfavourofhisopponents；hispositionwasundermined，complaintsweremadeagainsthim；helosthispostandcameuptoPetersburgwithhislastremainingmoney，inordertoappealtohigherauthorities。Ofcoursenobodywouldlistentohimforalongtime；hewouldcomeandtellhisstoryonedayandberefusedpromptly；anotherdayhewouldbefedonfalsepromises；againhewouldbetreatedharshly；thenhewouldbetoldtosignsomedocuments；thenhewouldsignthepaperandhanditin，andtheywouldrefusetoreceiveit，andtellhimtofileaformalpetition。Inawordhehadbeendrivenaboutfromofficetoofficeforfivemonthsandhadspenteveryfarthinghehad；hiswife’slastragshadjustbeenpawned；andmeanwhileachildhadbeenborntothemand——andtodayIhaveafinalrefusaltomypetition，andIhavehardlyacrumbofbreadleft——Ihavenothingleft；mywifehashadababylately——andI-I——’
　　"Hesprangupfromhischairandturnedaway。Hiswifewascryinginthecorner；thechildhadbeguntomoanagain。Ipulledoutmynote-bookandbeganwritinginit。WhenIhadfinishedandrosefrommychairhewasstandingbeforemewithanexpressionofalarmedcuriosity。
　　"’Ihavejotteddownyourname，’Itoldhim，’andalltherestofit——theplaceyouservedat，thedistrict，thedate，andall。I
　　haveafriend，Bachmatoff，whoseuncleisacouncillorofstateandhastodowiththesematters，onePeterMatveyevitchBachmatoff。’
　　"’PeterMatveyevitchBachmatoff！’hecried，tremblingalloverwithexcitement。’Why，nearlyeverythingdependsonthatveryman！’
　　"Itisverycurious，thisstoryofthemedicalman，andmyvisit，andthehappyterminationtowhichIcontributedbyaccident！
　　Everythingfittedin，asinanovel。Itoldthepoorpeoplenottoputmuchhopeinme，becauseIwasbutapoorschoolboymyself——
　　Iamnotreally，butIhumiliatedmyselfasmuchaspossibleinordertomakethemlesshopeful——butthatIwouldgoatoncetotheVassiliOstroffandseemyfriend；andthatasIknewforcertainthathisuncleadoredhim，andwasabsolutelydevotedtohimasthelasthopeandbranchofthefamily，perhapstheoldmanmightdosomethingtoobligehisnephew。
　　"’Ifonlytheywouldallowmetoexplainalltohisexcellency！
　　IfIcouldbutbepermittedtotellmytaletohim！"hecried，tremblingwithfeverishagitation，andhiseyesflashingwithexcitement。IrepeatedoncemorethatIcouldnotholdoutmuchhope——thatitwouldprobablyendinsmoke，andifIdidnotturnupnextmorningtheymustmakeuptheirmindsthattherewasnomoretobedoneinthematter。
　　"Theyshowedmeoutwithbowsandeverykindofrespect；theyseemedquitebesidethemselves。Ishallneverforgettheexpressionoftheirfaces！
　　"ItookadroshkyanddroveovertotheVassiliOstroffatonce。
　　ForsomeyearsIhadbeenatenmitywiththisyoungBachmatoff，atschool。Weconsideredhimanaristocrat；atalleventsI
　　calledhimone。Heusedtodresssmartly，andalwaysdrovetoschoolinaprivatetrap。Hewasagoodcompanion，andwasalwaysmerryandjolly，sometimesevenwitty，thoughhewasnotveryintellectual，inspiteofthefactthathewasalwaystopoftheclass；Imyselfwasnevertopinanything！Allhiscompanionswereveryfondofhim，exceptingmyself。Hehadseveraltimesduringthoseyearscomeuptomeandtriedtomakefriends；butI
　　hadalwaysturnedsulkilyawayandrefusedtohaveanythingtodowithhim。Ihadnotseenhimforawholeyearnow；hewasattheuniversity。When，atnineo’clock，orso，thisevening，Iarrivedandwasshownuptohimwithgreatceremony，hefirstreceivedmewithastonishment，andnottooaffably，buthesooncheeredup，andsuddenlygazedintentlyatmeandburstoutlaughing。
　　"’Why，whatonearthcanhavepossessedyoutocomeandseeME，Terentieff？’hecried，withhisusualpleasant，sometimesaudacious，butneveroffensivefamiliarity，whichIlikedinreality，butforwhichIalsodetestedhim。’Whywhat’sthematter？’hecriedinalarm。’Areyouill？’
　　"Thatconfoundedcoughofminehadcomeonagain；Ifellintoachair，andwithdifficultyrecoveredmybreath。’It’sallright，it’sonlyconsumption’Isaid。’Ihavecometoyouwithapetition！’
　　"Hesatdowninamazement，andIlostnotimeintellinghimthemedicalman’shistory；andexplainedthathe，withtheinfluencewhichhepossessedoverhisuncle，mightdosomegoodtothepoorfellow。
　　"’I’lldoit——I’lldoit，ofcourse！’hesaid。’Ishallattackmyuncleaboutittomorrowmorning，andI’mverygladyoutoldmethestory。Buthowwasitthatyouthoughtofcomingtomeaboutit，Terentieff？’
　　"’Somuchdependsuponyouruncle，’Isaid。’Andbesideswehavealwaysbeenenemies，Bachmatoff；andasyouareageneroussortoffellow，IthoughtyouwouldnotrefusemyrequestbecauseI
　　wasyourenemy！’Iaddedwithirony。
　　"’LikeNapoleongoingtoEngland，eh？’criedhe，laughing。’I’lldoitthough——ofcourse，andatonce，ifIcan！’headded，seeingthatIroseseriouslyfrommychairatthispoint。
　　"Andsureenoughthematterendedassatisfactorilyaspossible。
　　Amonthorsolatermymedicalfriendwasappointedtoanotherpost。Hegothistravellingexpensespaid，andsomethingtohelphimtostartlifewithoncemore。IthinkBachmatoffmusthavepersuadedthedoctortoacceptaloanfromhimself。IsawBachmatofftwoorthreetimes，aboutthisperiod，thethirdtimebeingwhenhegaveafarewelldinnertothedoctorandhiswifebeforetheirdeparture，achampagnedinner。
　　"BachmatoffsawmehomeafterthedinnerandwecrossedtheNicolaibridge。Wewerebothalittledrunk。Hetoldmeofhisjoy，thejoyfulfeelingofhavingdoneagoodaction；hesaidthatitwasallthankstomyselfthathecouldfeelthissatisfaction；andheldforthaboutthefoolishnessofthetheorythatindividualcharityisuseless"I，too，wasburningtohavemysay！
　　"’InMoscow，’Isaid，’therewasanoldstatecounsellor，acivilgeneral，who，allhislife，hadbeeninthehabitofvisitingtheprisonsandspeakingtocriminals。EverypartyofconvictsonitswaytoSiberiaknewbeforehandthatontheVorobeefHillsthe"oldgeneral"wouldpaythemavisit。Hedidallheundertookseriouslyanddevotedly。Hewouldwalkdowntherowsoftheunfortunateprisoners，stopbeforeeachindividualandaskafterhisneeds——heneversermonizedthem；hespokekindlytothem——hegavethemmoney；hebroughtthemallsortsofnecessariesforthejourney，andgavethemdevotionalbooks，choosingthosewhocouldread，underthefirmconvictionthattheywouldreadtothosewhocouldnot，astheywentalong。
　　"’Hescarcelyevertalkedabouttheparticularcrimesofanyofthem，butlistenedifanyvolunteeredinformationonthatpoint。
　　Alltheconvictswereequalforhim，andhemadenodistinction。
　　Hespoketoallastobrothers，andeveryoneofthemlookeduponhimasafather。Whenheobservedamongtheexilessomepoorwomanwithachild，hewouldalwayscomeforwardandfondlethelittleone，andmakeitlaugh。Hecontinuedtheseactsofmercyuptohisverydeath；andbythattimeallthecriminals，alloverRussiaandSiberia，knewhim！
　　"’AmanIknewwhohadbeentoSiberiaandreturned，toldmethathehimselfhadbeenawitnessofhowtheverymosthardenedcriminalsrememberedtheoldgeneral，though，inpointoffact，hecouldnever，ofcourse，havedistributedmorethanafewpencetoeachmemberofaparty。Theirrecollectionofhimwasnotsentimentalorparticularlydevoted。Somewretch，forinstance，whohadbeenamurderer——cuttingthethroatofadozenfellow-
　　creatures，forinstance；orstabbingsixlittlechildrenforhisownamusementtherehavebeensuchmen！——wouldperhaps，withoutrhymeorreason，suddenlygiveasighandsay，"Iwonderwhetherthatoldgeneralisalivestill！"Althoughperhapshehadnotthoughtofmentioninghimforadozenyearsbefore！Howcanonesaywhatseedofgoodmayhavebeendroppedintohissoul，nevertodie？’
　　"Icontinuedinthatstrainforalongwhile，pointingouttoBachmatoffhowimpossibleitistofollowuptheeffectsofanyisolatedgooddeedonemaydo，inallitsinfluencesandsubtleworkingsupontheheartandafter-actionsofothers。
　　"’Andtothinkthatyouaretobecutofffromlife！’remarkedBachmatoff，inatoneofreproach，asthoughhewouldliketofindsomeonetopitchintoonmyaccount。
　　"Wewereleaningoverthebalustradeofthebridge，lookingintotheNevaatthismoment。
　　"’Doyouknowwhathassuddenlycomeintomyhead？’saidI，suddenly——leaningfurtherandfurtherovertherail。
　　"’Surelynottothrowyourselfintotheriver？’criedBachmatoffinalarm。Perhapshereadmythoughtinmyface。
　　"’No，notyet。Atpresentnothingbutthefollowingconsideration。YouseeIhavesometwoorthreemonthsleftmetolive——perhapsfour；well，supposingthatwhenIhavebutamonthortwomore，Itakeafancyforsome"gooddeed"thatneedsbothtroubleandtime，likethisbusinessofourdoctorfriend，forinstance:why，Ishallhavetogiveuptheideaofitandtaketosomethingelse——someLITTLEgooddeed，MOREWITHINMYMEANS，eh？
　　Isn’tthatanamusingidea！’
　　"PoorBachmatoffwasmuchimpressed——painfullyso。Hetookmeallthewayhome；notattemptingtoconsoleme，butbehavingwiththegreatestdelicacy。Ontakingleavehepressedmyhandwarmlyandaskedpermissiontocomeandseeme。Irepliedthatifhecametomeasa’comforter，’sotospeakforhewouldbeinthatcapacitywhetherhespoketomeinasoothingmanneroronlykeptsilence，asIpointedouttohim，hewouldbutremindmeeachtimeofmyapproachingdeath！Heshruggedhisshoulders，butquiteagreedwithme；andwepartedbetterfriendsthanIhadexpected。
　　"Butthateveningandthatnightweresownthefirstseedsofmy’lastconviction。’Iseizedgreedilyonmynewidea；IthirstilydrankinallitsdifferentaspectsIdidnotsleepawinkthatnight！，andthedeeperIwentintoitthemoremybeingseemedtomergeitselfinit，andthemorealarmedIbecame。Adreadfulterrorcameovermeatlast，anddidnotleavemeallnextday。
　　"Sometimes，thinkingoverthis，Ibecamequitenumbwiththeterrorofit；andImightwellhavededucedfromthisfact，thatmy’lastconviction’waseatingintomybeingtoofastandtooseriously，andwouldundoubtedlycometoitsclimaxbeforelong。
　　AndfortheclimaxIneededgreaterdeterminationthanIyetpossessed。
　　"However，withinthreeweeksmydeterminationwastaken，owingtoaverystrangecircumstance。
　　"Hereonmypaper，Imakeanoteofallthefiguresanddatesthatcomeintomyexplanation。Ofcourse，itisallthesametome，butjustnow——andperhapsonlyatthismoment——Idesirethatallthosewhoaretojudgeofmyactionshouldseeclearlyoutofhowlogicalasequenceofdeductionshasatlengthproceededmy’lastconviction。’
　　"Ihavesaidabovethatthedeterminationneededbymefortheaccomplishmentofmyfinalresolve，cametohandnotthroughanysequenceofcauses，butthankstoacertainstrangecircumstancewhichhadperhapsnoconnectionwhateverwiththematteratissue。TendaysagoRogojincalleduponmeaboutcertainbusinessofhisownwithwhichIhavenothingtodoatpresent。IhadneverseenRogojinbefore，buthadoftenheardabouthim。
　　"Igavehimalltheinformationheneeded，andheverysoontookhisdeparture；sothat，sinceheonlycameforthepurposeofgainingtheinformation，themattermighthavebeenexpectedtoendthere。
　　"Butheinterestedmetoomuch，andallthatdayIwasundertheinfluenceofstrangethoughtsconnectedwithhim，andI
　　determinedtoreturnhisvisitthenextday。
　　"Rogojinwasevidentlybynomeanspleasedtoseeme，andhinted，delicately，thathesawnoreasonwhyouracquaintanceshouldcontinue。Forallthat，however，Ispentaveryinterestinghour，andso，Idaresay，didhe。TherewassogreatacontrastbetweenusthatIamsurewemustbothhavefeltit；anyhow，Ifeltitacutely。HerewasI，withmydaysnumbered，andhe，amaninthefullvigouroflife，livinginthepresent，withouttheslightestthoughtfor’finalconvictions，’ornumbers，ordays，or，infact，foranythingbutthatwhich-which——well，whichhewasmadabout，ifhewillexcusemetheexpression——asafeebleauthorwhocannotexpresshisideasproperly。
　　"Inspiteofhislackofamiability，Icouldnothelpseeing，inRogojinamanofintellectandsense；andalthough，perhaps，therewaslittleintheoutsideworldwhichwasof。interesttohim，stillhewasclearlyamanwitheyestosee。
　　"Ihintednothingtohimaboutmy’finalconviction，’butitappearedtomethathehadguesseditfrommywords。Heremainedsilent——heisaterriblysilentman。Iremarkedtohim，asIrosetodepart，that，inspiteofthecontrastandthewidedifferencesbetweenustwo，lesextremitessetouchent’extremesmeet，’asIexplainedtohiminRussian；sothatmaybehewasnotsofarfrommyfinalconvictionasappeared。
　　"Hisonlyreplytothiswasasourgrimace。Heroseandlookedformycap，andplaceditinmyhand，andledmeoutofthehouse——thatdreadfulgloomyhouseofhis——toallappearances，ofcourse，asthoughIwereleavingofmyownaccord，andheweresimplyseeingmetothedooroutofpoliteness。Hishouseimpressedmemuch；itislikeaburial-ground，heseemstolikeit，whichis，however，quitenatural。Suchafulllifeasheleadsissooverflowingwithabsorbingintereststhathehaslittleneedofassistancefromhissurroundings。
　　"ThevisittoRogojinexhaustedmeterribly。Besides，Ihadfeltillsincethemorning；andbyeveningIwassoweakthatItooktomybed，andwasinhighfeveratintervals，andevendelirious。Coliasatwithmeuntileleveno’clock。
　　"YetIrememberallhetalkedabout，andeverywordwesaid，thoughwhenevermyeyesclosedforamomentIcouldpicturenothingbuttheimageofSurikoffjustintheactoffindingamillionroubles。Hecouldnotmakeuphismindwhattodowiththemoney，andtorehishairoverit。Hetrembledwithfearthatsomebodywouldrobhim，andatlasthedecidedtoburyitintheground。Ipersuadedhimthat，insteadofputtingitallawayuselesslyunderground，hehadbettermeltitdownandmakeagoldencoffinoutofitforhisstarvedchild，andthendigupthelittleoneandputherintothegoldencoffin。Surikoffacceptedthissuggestion，Ithought，withtearsofgratitude，andimmediatelycommencedtocarryoutmydesign。
　　"IthoughtIspatonthegroundandlefthimindisgust。Coliatoldme，whenIquiterecoveredmysenses，thatIhadnotbeenasleepforamoment，butthatIhadspokentohimaboutSurikoffthewholewhile。
　　"AtmomentsIwasinastateofdreadfulweaknessandmisery，sothatColiawasgreatlydisturbedwhenheleftme。
　　"WhenIarosetolockthedoorafterhim，IsuddenlycalledtomindapictureIhadnoticedatRogojin’sinoneofhisgloomiestrooms，overthedoor。Hehadpointeditouttomehimselfaswewalkedpastit，andIbelieveImusthavestoodagoodfiveminutesinfrontofit。Therewasnothingartisticaboutit，butthepicturemademefeelstrangelyuncomfortable。ItrepresentedChristjusttakendownfromthecross。ItseemstomethatpaintersasarulerepresenttheSaviour，bothonthecrossandtakendownfromit，withgreatbeautystilluponHisface。ThismarvellousbeautytheystrivetopreserveeveninHismomentsofdeepestagonyandpassion。ButtherewasnosuchbeautyinRogojin’spicture。Thiswasthepresentmentofapoormangledbodywhichhadevidentlysufferedunbearableanguishevenbeforeitscrucifixion，fullofwoundsandbruises，marksoftheviolenceofsoldiersandpeople，andofthebitternessofthemomentwhenHehadfallenwiththecross——allthiscombinedwiththeanguishoftheactualcrucifixion。
　　"Thefacewasdepictedasthoughstillsuffering；asthoughthebody，onlyjustdead，wasstillalmostquiveringwithagony。Thepicturewasoneofpurenature，forthefacewasnotbeautifiedbytheartist，butwasleftasitwouldnaturallybe，whosoeverthesufferer，aftersuchanguish。
　　"IknowthattheearliestChristianfaithtaughtthattheSavioursufferedactuallyandnotfiguratively，andthatnaturewasallowedherownwayevenwhileHisbodywasonthecross。
　　"ItisstrangetolookonthisdreadfulpictureofthemangledcorpseoftheSaviour，andtoputthisquestiontooneself:
　　’Supposingthatthedisciples，thefutureapostles，thewomenwhohadfollowedHimandstoodbythecross，allofwhombelievedinandworshippedHim——supposingthattheysawthistorturedbody，thisfacesomangledandbleedingandbruisedandtheyMUSThavesoseenit——howcouldtheyhavegazeduponthedreadfulsightandyethavebelievedthatHewouldriseagain？’
　　"Thethoughtstepsin，whetheronelikesitorno，thatdeathissoterribleandsopowerful，thatevenHewhoconquereditinHismiraclesduringlifewasunabletotriumphoveritatthelast。
　　HewhocalledtoLazarus，’Lazarus，comeforth！’andthedeadmanlived——HewasnowHimselfapreytonatureanddeath。Natureappearstoone，lookingatthispicture，assomehuge，implacable，dumbmonster；orstillbetter——astrangersimile——someenormousmechanicalengineofmoderndayswhichhasseizedandcrushedandswallowedupagreatandinvaluableBeing，aBeingworthnatureandallherlaws，worththewholeearth，whichwasperhapscreatedmerelyforthesakeoftheadventofthatBeing。
　　"Thisblind，dumb，implacable，eternal，unreasoningforceiswellshowninthepicture，andtheabsolutesubordinationofallmenandthingstoitissowellexpressedthattheideaunconsciouslyarisesinthemindofanyonewholooksatit。Allthosefaithfulpeoplewhoweregazingatthecrossanditsmutilatedoccupantmusthavesufferedagonyofmindthatevening；fortheymusthavefeltthatalltheirhopesandalmostalltheirfaithhadbeenshatteredatablow。Theymusthaveseparatedinterroranddreadthatnight，thougheachperhapscarriedawaywithhimonegreatthoughtwhichwasnevereradicatedfromhismindforeverafterwards。IfthisgreatTeacheroftheirscouldhaveseenHimselfaftertheCrucifixion，howcouldHehaveconsentedtomounttheCrossandtodieasHedid？Thisthoughtalsocomesintothemindofthemanwhogazesatthispicture。Ithoughtofallthisbysnatchesprobablybetweenmyattacksofdelirium——foranhourandahalforsobeforeColia’sdeparture。
　　"Cantherebeanappearanceofthatwhichhasnoform？Andyetitseemedtome，atcertainmoments，thatIbeheldinsomestrangeandimpossibleform，thatdark，dumb，irresistiblypowerful，eternalforce。
　　"Ithoughtsomeoneledmebythehandandshowedme，bythelightofacandle，ahuge，loathsomeinsect，whichheassuredmewasthatveryforce，thatveryalmighty，dumb，irresistiblePower，andlaughedattheindignationwithwhichIreceivedthisinformation。Inmyroomtheyalwayslightthelittlelampbeforemyiconforthenight；itgivesafeebleflickeroflight，butitisstrongenoughtoseebydimly，andifyousitjustunderityoucanevenreadbyit。Ithinkitwasabouttwelveoralittlepastthatnight。Ihadnotsleptawink，andwaslyingwithmyeyeswideopen，whensuddenlythedooropened，andincameRogojin。
　　"Heentered，andshutthedoorbehindhim。Thenhesilentlygazedatmeandwentquicklytothecorneroftheroomwherethelampwasburningandsatdownunderneathit。
　　"Iwasmuchsurprised，andlookedathimexpectantly。
　　"Rogojinonlyleanedhiselbowonthetableandsilentlystaredatme。Sopassedtwoorthreeminutes，andIrecollectthathissilencehurtandoffendedmeverymuch。Whydidhenotspeak？
　　"Thathisarrivalatthistimeofnightstruckmeasmoreorlessstrangemaypossiblybethecase；butIrememberIwasbynomeansamazedatit。Onthecontrary，thoughIhadnotactuallytoldhimmythoughtinthemorning，yetIknowheunderstoodit；
　　andthisthoughtwasofsuchacharacterthatitwouldnotbeanythingveryremarkable，ifoneweretocomeforfurthertalkaboutitatanyhourofnight，howeverlate。
　　"Ithoughthemusthavecomeforthispurpose。
　　"Inthemorningwehadpartednotthebestoffriends；Irememberhelookedatmewithdisagreeablesarcasmonceortwice；andthissamelookIobservedinhiseyesnow——whichwasthecauseoftheannoyanceIfelt。
　　"IdidnotforamomentsuspectthatIwasdeliriousandthatthisRogojinwasbuttheresultoffeverandexcitement。Ihadnottheslightestideaofsuchatheoryatfirst。
　　"Meanwhilehecontinuedtositandstarejeeringlyatme。
　　"IangrilyturnedroundinbedandmadeupmymindthatIwouldnotsayawordunlesshedid；soIrestedsilentlyonmypillowdeterminedtoremaindumb，ifitweretolasttillmorning。I
　　feltresolvedthatheshouldspeakfirst。Probablytwentyminutesorsopassedinthisway。Suddenlytheideastruckme——whatifthisisanapparitionandnotRogojinhimself？
　　"NeitherduringmyillnessnoratanyprevioustimehadIeverseenanapparition；——butIhadalwaysthought，bothwhenIwasalittleboy，andevennow，thatifIweretoseeoneIshoulddieonthespot——thoughIdon’tbelieveinghosts。AndyetNOW，whentheideastruckmethatthiswasaghostandnotRogojinatall，Iwasnotintheleastalarmed。Nay——thethoughtactuallyirritatedme。Strangelyenough，thedecisionofthequestionastowhetherthiswereaghostorRogojindidnot，forsomereasonorother，interestmenearlysomuchasitoughttohavedone；——I
　　thinkIbegantomuseaboutsomethingaltogetherdifferent。Forinstance，IbegantowonderwhyRogojin，whohadbeenindressing——gownandslipperswhenIsawhimathome，hadnowputonadress-coatandwhitewaistcoatandtie？Ialsothoughttomyself，Iremember——’ifthisisaghost，andIamnotafraidofit，whydon’tIapproachitandverifymysuspicions？PerhapsI
　　amafraid——’Andnosoonerdidthislastideaentermyheadthananicyblastblewoverme；Ifeltachilldownmybackboneandmykneesshook。
　　"Atthisverymoment，asthoughdiviningmythoughts，Rogojinraisedhisheadfromhisarmandbegantoparthislipsasthoughheweregoingtolaugh——buthecontinuedtostareatmeaspersistentlyasbefore。
　　"IfeltsofuriouswithhimatthismomentthatIlongedtorushathim；butasIhadswornthatheshouldspeakfirst，I
　　continuedtoliestill——andthemorewillingly，asIwasstillbynomeanssatisfiedastowhetheritreallywasRogojinornot。
　　"Icannotrememberhowlongthislasted；Icannotrecollect，either，whetherconsciousnessforsookmeatintervals，ornot。
　　ButatlastRogojinrose，staringatmeasintentlyasever，butnotsmilinganylonger，——andwalkingverysoftly，almostontip-
　　toes，tothedoor，heopenedit，wentout，andshutitbehindhim。
　　"Ididnotrisefrommybed，andIdon’tknowhowlongIlaywithmyeyesopen，thinking。Idon’tknowwhatIthoughtabout，norhowIfellasleeporbecameinsensible；butIawokenextmorningafternineo’clockwhentheyknockedatmydoor。MygeneralordersarethatifIdon’topenthedoorandcall，bynineo’clock，Matreonaistocomeandbringmytea。WhenInowopenedthedoortoher，thethoughtsuddenlystruckme——howcouldhehavecomein，sincethedoorwaslocked？ImadeinquiriesandfoundthatRogojinhimselfcouldnotpossiblyhavecomein，becauseallourdoorswerelockedforthenight。
　　"Well，thisstrangecircumstance——whichIhavedescribedwithsomuchdetail——wastheultimatecausewhichledmetotakingmyfinaldetermination。Sothatnologic，orlogicaldeductions，hadanythingtodowithmyresolve；——itwassimplyamatterofdisgust。
　　"Itwasimpossibleformetogoonlivingwhenlifewasfullofsuchdetestable，strange，tormentingforms。Thisghosthadhumiliatedme；——norcouldIbeartobesubordinatetothatdark，horribleforcewhichwasembodiedintheformoftheloathsomeinsect。Itwasonlytowardsevening，whenIhadquitemadeupmymindonthispoint，thatIbegantofeeleasier。
　　VII。
　　"IHADasmallpocketpistol。Ihadprocureditwhilestillaboy，atthatdrollagewhenthestoriesofduelsandhighwaymenbegintodelightone，andwhenoneimaginesoneselfnoblystandingfireatsomefutureday，inaduel。
　　"Therewereacoupleofoldbulletsinthebagwhichcontainedthepistol，andpowderenoughinanoldflaskfortwoorthreecharges。
　　"Thepistolwasawretchedthing，verycrookedandwouldn’tcarryfartherthanfifteenpacesatthemost。However，itwouldsendyourskullflyingwellenoughifyoupressedthemuzzleofitagainstyourtemple。
　　"IdeterminedtodieatPavlofskatsunrise，inthepark——soastomakenocommotioninthehouse。
　　"This’explanation’willmakethematterclearenoughtothepolice。Studentsofpsychology，andanyoneelsewholikes，maymakewhattheypleaseofit。Ishouldnotlikethispaper，however，tobemadepublic。Irequesttheprincetokeepacopyhimself，andtogiveacopytoAglayaIvanovnaEpanchin。Thisismylastwillandtestament。Asformyskeleton，IbequeathittotheMedicalAcademyforthebenefitofscience。
　　"Irecognizenojurisdictionovermyself，andIknowthatIamnowbeyondthepoweroflawsandjudges。
　　"Alittlewhileagoaveryamusingideastruckme。WhatifIwerenowtocommitsometerriblecrime——murdertenfellow-creatures，forinstance，oranythingelsethatisthoughtmostshockinganddreadfulinthisworld——whatadilemmamyjudgeswouldbein，withacriminalwhoonlyhasafortnighttoliveinanycase，nowthattherackandotherformsoftortureareabolished！Why，I
　　shoulddiecomfortablyintheirownhospital——inawarm，cleanroom，withanattentivedoctor——probablymuchmorecomfortablythanIshouldathome。
　　"Idon’tunderstandwhypeopleinmypositiondonotoftenerindulgeinsuchideas——ifonlyforajoke！Perhapstheydo！Whoknows！Thereareplentyofmerrysoulsamongus！
　　"ButthoughIdonotrecognizeanyjurisdictionovermyself，stillIknowthatIshallbejudged，whenIamnothingbutavoicelesslumpofclay；thereforeIdonotwishtogobeforeI
　　haveleftawordofreply——thereplyofafreeman——notoneforcedtojustifyhimself——ohno！Ihavenoneedtoaskforgivenessofanyone。IwishtosayawordmerelybecauseI
　　happentodesireitofmyownfreewill。
　　"Here，inthefirstplace，comesastrangethought！
　　"Who，inthenameofwhatLaw，wouldthinkofdisputingmyfullpersonalrightoverthefortnightoflifelefttome？Whatjurisdictioncanbebroughttobearuponthecase？Whowouldwishme，notonlytobesentenced，buttoendurethesentencetotheend？Surelythereexistsnomanwhowouldwishsuchathing——whyshouldanyonedesireit？Forthesakeofmorality？Well，IcanunderstandthatifIweretomakeanattemptuponmyownlifewhileintheenjoymentoffullhealthandvigour——mylifewhichmighthavebeen’useful，’etc。，etc——moralitymightreproachme，accordingtotheoldroutine，fordisposingofmylifewithoutpermission——orwhateveritstenetmaybe。Butnow，NOW，whenmysentenceisoutandmydaysnumbered！Howcanmoralityhaveneedofmylastbreaths，andwhyshouldIdielisteningtotheconsolationsofferedbytheprince，who，withoutdoubt，wouldnotomittodemonstratethatdeathisactuallyabenefactortome？
　　Christianslikehimalwaysendupwiththat——itistheirpettheory。Andwhatdotheywantwiththeirridiculous’Pavlofsktrees’？Tosweetenmylasthours？CannottheyunderstandthatthemoreIforgetmyself，themoreIletmyselfbecomeattachedtotheselastillusionsoflifeandlove，bymeansofwhichtheytrytohidefrommeMeyer’swall，andallthatissoplainlywrittenonit——themoreunhappytheymakeme？Whatistheuseofallyournaturetome——allyourparksandtrees，yoursunsetsandsunrises，yourblueskiesandyourself-satisfiedfaces——whenallthiswealthofbeautyandhappinessbeginswiththefactthatitaccountsme——onlyme——onetoomany！Whatisthegoodofallthisbeautyandglorytome，wheneverysecond，everymoment，Icannotbutbeawarethatthislittleflywhichbuzzesaroundmyheadinthesun’srays——eventhislittleflyisasharerandparticipatorinallthegloryoftheuniverse，andknowsitsplaceandishappyinit；——whileI——onlyI，amanoutcast，andhavebeenblindtothefacthitherto，thankstomysimplicity！Oh！Iknowwellhowtheprinceandotherswouldlikeme，insteadofindulginginallthesewickedwordsofmyown，tosing，tothegloryandtriumphofmorality，thatwell-knownverseofGilbert’s:
　　"’0，puissentvoirlongtempsvotrebeautesacreeTantd’amis，sourdsamesadieux！
　　Qu’ilsmeurentpleinsdejours，queleurmortsoitpleuree，Qu’unamileurfermelesyeux！’
　　"Butbelieveme，believeme，mysimple-heartedfriends，thatinthishighlymoralverse，inthisacademicalblessingtotheworldingeneralintheFrenchlanguage，ishiddentheintensestgallandbitterness；butsowellconcealedisthevenom，thatIdaresaythepoetactuallypersuadedhimselfthathiswordswerefullofthetearsofpardonandpeace，insteadofthebitternessofdisappointmentandmalice，andsodiedinthedelusion。
　　"Doyouknowthereisalimitofignominy，beyondwhichman’sconsciousnessofshamecannotgo，andafterwhichbeginssatisfactioninshame？Well，ofcoursehumilityisagreatforceinthatsense，Iadmitthat——thoughnotinthesenseinwhichreligionaccountshumilitytobestrength！
　　"Religion！——Iadmiteternallife——andperhapsIalwaysdidadmitit。
　　"AdmittedthatconsciousnessiscalledintoexistencebythewillofaHigherPower；admittedthatthisconsciousnesslooksoutupontheworldandsays’Iam；’andadmittedthattheHigherPowerwillsthattheconsciousnesssocalledintoexistence，besuddenlyextinguishedforso——forsomeunexplainedreason——itisandmustbe——stilltherecomestheeternalquestion——whymustI
　　behumblethroughallthis？IsitnotenoughthatIamdevoured，withoutmybeingexpectedtoblessthepowerthatdevoursme？
　　Surely——surelyIneednotsupposethatSomebody——there——willbeoffendedbecauseIdonotwishtoliveoutthefortnightallowedme？Idon’tbelieveit。
　　"Itismuchsimpler，andfarmorelikely，tobelievethatmydeathisneeded——thedeathofaninsignificantatom——inordertofulfilthegeneralharmonyoftheuniverse——inordertomakeevensomeplusorminusinthesumofexistence。Justaseverydaythedeathofnumbersofbeingsisnecessarybecausewithouttheirannihilationtherestcannotliveon——althoughwemustadmitthattheideaisnotaparticularlygrandoneinitself！
　　"However——admitthefact！Admitthatwithoutsuchperpetualdevouringofoneanothertheworldcannotcontinuetoexist，orcouldneverhavebeenorganized——IameverreadytoconfessthatIcannotunderstandwhythisisso——butI’lltellyouwhatIDO
　　know，forcertain。IfIhaveoncebeengiventounderstandandrealizethatIAM——whatdoesitmattertomethattheworldisorganizedonasystemfulloferrorsandthatotherwiseitcannotbeorganizedatall？Whowillorcanjudgemeafterthis？Saywhatyoulike——thethingisimpossibleandunjust！
　　"AndmeanwhileIhaveneverbeenable，inspiteofmygreatdesiretodoso，topersuademyselfthatthereisnofutureexistence，andnoProvidence。
　　"ThefactofthematteristhatallthisDOESexist，butthatweknowabsolutelynothingaboutthefuturelifeanditslaws！
　　"Butitissodifficult，andevenimpossibletounderstand，thatsurelyIamnottobeblamedbecauseIcouldnotfathomtheincomprehensible？
　　"OfcourseIknowtheysaythatonemustbeobedient，andofcourse，too，theprinceisoneofthosewhosayso:thatonemustbeobedientwithoutquestions，outofpuregoodnessofheart，andthatformyworthyconductinthismatterIshallmeetwithrewardinanotherworld。WedegradeGodwhenweattributeourownideastoHim，outofannoyancethatwecannotfathomHisways。
　　"Again，Irepeat，IcannotbeblamedbecauseIamunabletounderstandthatwhichitisnotgiventomankindtofathom。WhyamItobejudgedbecauseIcouldnotcomprehendtheWillandLawsofProvidence？No，wehadbetterdropreligion。
　　"Andenoughofthis。BythetimeIhavegotsofarinthereadingofmydocumentthesunwillbeupandthehugeforceofhisrayswillbeactinguponthelivingworld。Sobeit。IshalldiegazingstraightatthegreatFountainoflifeandpower；Idonotwantthislife！
　　"IfIhadhadthepowertopreventmyownbirthIshouldcertainlyneverhaveconsentedtoacceptexistenceundersuchridiculousconditions。However，Ihavethepowertoendmyexistence，althoughIdobutgivebackdaysthatarealreadynumbered。Itisaninsignificantgift，andmyrevoltisequallyinsignificant。
　　"Finalexplanation:Idie，notintheleastbecauseIamunabletosupportthesenextthreeweeks。Ohno，Ishouldfindstrengthenough，andifIwisheditIcouldobtainconsolationfromthethoughtoftheinjurythatisdoneme。ButIamnotaFrenchpoet，andIdonotdesiresuchconsolation。Andfinally，naturehassolimitedmycapacityforworkoractivityofanykind，inallottingmebutthreeweeksoftime，thatsuicideisabouttheonlythingleftthatIcanbeginandendinthetimeofmyownfreewill。
　　"PerhapsthenIamanxioustotakeadvantageofmylastchanceofdoingsomethingformyself。Aprotestissometimesnosmallthing。"
　　Theexplanationwasfinished；Hippolytepausedatlast。
　　Thereis，inextremecases，afinalstageofcynicalcandourwhenanervousman，excited，andbesidehimselfwithemotion，willbeafraidofnothingandreadyforanysortofscandal，nay，gladofit。Theextraordinary，almostunnatural，tensionofthenerveswhichupheldHippolyteuptothispoint，hadnowarrivedatthisfinalstage。Thispoorfeebleboyofeighteen——exhaustedbydisease——lookedforalltheworldasweakandfrailasaleaflettornfromitsparenttreeandtremblinginthebreeze；butnosoonerhadhiseyesweptoverhisaudience，forthefirsttimeduringthewholeofthelasthour，thanthemostcontemptuous，themosthaughtyexpressionofrepugnancelighteduphisface。Hedefiedthemall，asitwere。Buthishearerswereindignant，too；
　　theyrosetotheirfeetwithannoyance。Fatigue，thewineconsumed，thestrainoflisteningsolong，alladdedtothedisagreeableimpressionwhichthereadinghadmadeuponthem。
　　SuddenlyHippolytejumpedupasthoughhehadbeenshot。
　　"Thesunisrising，"hecried，seeingthegildedtopsofthetrees，andpointingtothemastoamiracle。"See，itisrisingnow！"
　　"Well，whatthen？Didyousupposeitwasn’tgoingtorise？"askedFerdishenko。
　　"It’sgoingtobeatrociouslyhotagainallday，"saidGania，withanairofannoyance，takinghishat。"Amonthofthis……Areyoucominghome，Ptitsin？"Hippolytelistenedtothisinamazement，almostamountingtostupefaction。Suddenlyhebecamedeadlypaleandshuddered。
　　"Youmanageyourcomposuretooawkwardly。Iseeyouwishtoinsultme，"hecriedtoGania。"You——youareacur！"HelookedatGaniawithanexpressionofmalice。
　　"Whatonearthisthematterwiththeboy？Whatphenomenalfeeble-mindedness！"exclaimedFerdishenko。
　　"Oh，he’ssimplyafool，"saidGania。
　　Hippolytebracedhimselfupalittle。
　　"Iunderstand，gentlemen，"hebegan，tremblingasbefore，andstumblingovereveryword，"thatIhavedeservedyourresentment，and——andamsorrythatIshouldhavetroubledyouwiththisravingnonsense"pointingtohisarticle，"orrather，IamsorrythatIhavenottroubledyouenough。"Hesmiledfeebly。"HaveI
　　troubledyou，EvgeniePavlovitch？"HesuddenlyturnedonEvgeniewiththisquestion。"Tellmenow，haveItroubledyouornot？"
　　"Well，itwasalittledrawnout，perhaps；but——"
　　"Come，speakout！Don’tlie，foronceinyourlife——speakout！"
　　continuedHippolyte，quiveringwithagitation。
　　"Oh，mygoodsir，Iassureyouit’sentirelythesametome。
　　Pleaseleavemeinpeace，"saidEvgenie，angrily，turninghisbackonhim。
　　"Good-night，prince，"saidPtitsin，approachinghishost。
　　"Whatareyouthinkingof？Don’tgo，he’llblowhisbrainsoutinaminute！"criedVeraLebedeff，rushinguptoHippolyteandcatchingholdofhishandsinatormentofalarm。"Whatareyouthinkingof？Hesaidhewouldblowhisbrainsoutatsunrise。"
　　"Oh，hewon’tshoothimself！"criedseveralvoices，sarcastically。
　　"Gentlemen，you’dbetterlookout，"criedColia，alsoseizingHippolytebythehand。"Justlookathim！Prince，whatareyouthinkingof？"VeraandColia，andKeller，andBurdovskywereallcrowdingroundHippolytenowandholdinghimdown。
　　"Hehastheright——theright——"-murmuredBurdovsky。"Excuseme，prince，butwhatareyourarrangements？"askedLebedeff，tipsyandexasperated，goinguptoMuishkin。
　　"Whatdoyoumeanby’arrangements’？"
　　"No，no，excuseme！I’mmasterofthishouse，thoughIdonotwishtolackrespecttowardsyou。Youaremasterofthehousetoo，inaway；butIcan’tallowthissortofthing——"
　　"Hewon’tshoothimself；theboyisonlyplayingthefool，"saidGeneralIvolgin，suddenlyandunexpectedly，withindignation。
　　"Iknowhewon’t，Iknowhewon’t，general；butI——I’mmasterhere！"
　　"Listen，Mr。Terentieff，"saidPtitsin，whohadbiddentheprincegood-night，andwasnowholdingouthishandtoHippolyte；"I
　　thinkyouremarkinthatmanuscriptofyours，thatyoubequeathyourskeletontotheAcademy。Areyoureferringtoyourownskeleton——Imean，yourverybones？"
　　"Yes，mybones，I——"
　　"Quiteso，Isee；because，youknow，littlemistakeshaveoccurrednowandthen。Therewasacase——"