Everyoneintheroombegantolaugh。
"Heistellinglies!"criedthenephew。"Evennowhecannotspeakthetruth。HeisnotcalledTimofeyLukianovitch,prince,butLukianTimofeyovitch。Nowdotelluswhyyoumustneedslieaboutit?LukianorTimofey,itisallthesametoyou,andwhatdifferencecanitmaketotheprince?Hetellslieswithouttheleastnecessity,simplybyforceofhabit,Iassureyou。"
"Isthattrue?"saidtheprinceimpatiently。
"MynamereallyisLukianTimofeyovitch,"acknowledgedLebedeff,loweringhiseyes,andputtinghishandonhisheart。
"Well,forGod’ssake,whatmadeyousaytheother?"
"Tohumblemyself,"murmuredLebedeff。
"Whatonearthdoyoumean?OhIifonlyIknewwhereColiawasatthismoment!"criedtheprince,standingup,asiftogo。
"IcantellyouallaboutColia,"saidtheyoungman"Oh!no,no!"saidLebedeff,hurriedly。
"Coliaspentthenighthere,andthismorningwentafterhisfather,whomyouletoutofprisonbypayinghisdebts——Heavenonlyknowswhy!Yesterdaythegeneralpromisedtocomeandlodgehere,buthedidnotappear。Mostprobablyhesleptatthehotelcloseby。NodoubtColiaisthere,unlesshehasgonetoPavlofsktoseetheEpanchins。Hehadalittlemoney,andwasintendingtogothereyesterday。HemustbeeitheratthehoteloratPavlofsk。"
"AtPavlofsk!HeisatPavlofsk,undoubtedly!"interruptedLebedeff……"Butcome——letusgointothegarden——wewillhavecoffeethere……"AndLebedeffseizedtheprince’sarm,andledhimfromtheroom。Theywentacrosstheyard,andfoundthemselvesinadelightfullittlegardenwiththetreesalreadyintheirsummerdressofgreen,thankstotheunusuallyfineweather。Lebedeffinvitedhisguesttositdownonagreenseatbeforeatableofthesamecolourfixedintheearth,andtookaseatfacinghim。Inafewminutesthecoffeeappeared,andtheprincedidnotrefuseit。ThehostkepthiseyesfixedonMuishkin,withanexpressionofpassionateservility。
"Iknewnothingaboutyourhomebefore,"saidtheprinceabsently,asifhewerethinkingofsomethingelse。
"Poororphans,"beganLebedeff,hisfaceassumingamournfulair,buthestoppedshort,fortheotherlookedathiminattentively,asifhehadalreadyforgottenhisownremark。Theywaitedafewminutesinsilence,whileLebedeffsatwithhiseyesfixedmournfullyontheyoungman’sface。
"Well!"saidthelatter,atlastrousinghimself。"Ah!yes!YouknowwhyIcame,Lebedeff。Yourletterbroughtme。Speak!Tellmeallaboutit。"
Theclerk,ratherconfused,triedtosaysomething,hesitated,begantospeak,andagainstopped。Theprincelookedathimgravely。
"IthinkIunderstand,LukianTimofeyovitch:youwerenotsurethatIshouldcome。YoudidnotthinkIshouldstartatthefirstwordfromyou,andyoumerelywrotetorelieveyourconscience。
However,youseenowthatIhavecome,andIhavehadenoughoftrickery。Giveupserving,ortryingtoserve,twomasters。
Rogojinhasbeenherethesethreeweeks。Haveyoumanagedtosellhertohimasyoudidbefore?Tellmethetruth。"
"Hediscoveredeverything,themonster……himself……"
"Don’tabusehim;thoughIdaresayyouhavesomethingtocomplainof……"
"Hebeatme,hethrashedmeunmercifully!"repliedLebedeffvehemently。"HesetadogonmeinMoscow,abloodhound,aterriblebeastthatchasedmealldownthestreet。"
"Youseemtotakemeforachild,Lebedeff。Tellme,isitafactthatshelefthimwhiletheywereinMoscow?"
"Yes,itisafact,andthistime,letmetellyou,ontheveryeveoftheirmarriage!ItwasaquestionofminuteswhensheslippedofftoPetersburg。Shecametomedirectlyshearrived——
’Saveme,Lukian!findmesomerefuge,andsaynothingtotheprince!’Sheisafraidofyou,evenmorethansheisofhim,andinthatsheshowsherwisdom!"AndLebedeffslilyputhisfingertohisbrowashesaidthelastwords。
"Andnowitisyouwhohavebroughtthemtogetheragain?"
"Excellency,howcouldI,howcouldIpreventit?"
"Thatwilldo。Icanfindoutformyself。Onlytellme,whereisshenow?Athishouse?Withhim?"
"Ohno!Certainlynot!’Iamfree,’shesays;youknowhowsheinsistsonthatpoint。’Iamentirelyfree。’Sherepeatsitoverandoveragain。SheislivinginPetersburgskaia,withmysister-
in-law,asItoldyouinmyletter。"
"Sheisthereatthismoment?"
"Yes,unlessshehasgonetoPavlofsk:thefineweathermayhavetemptedher,perhaps,intothecountry,withDariaAlexeyevna。’I
amquitefree,’shesays。OnlyyesterdaysheboastedofherfreedomtoNicolaiArdalionovitch——abadsign,"addedLebedeff,smiling。
"Coliagoestoseeheroften,doeshenot?"
"Heisastrangeboy,thoughtless,andinclinedtobeindiscreet。"
"Isitlongsinceyousawher?"
"Igotoseehereveryday,everyday。"
"Thenyouwerethereyesterday?"
"N-no:Ihavenotbeenthesethreelastdays。"
"Itisapityyouhavetakentoomuchwine,LebedeffIwanttoaskyousomething……but……"
"Allright!allright!Iamnotdrunk,"repliedtheclerk,preparingtolisten。
"Tellme,howwasshewhenyoulefther?"
"Sheisawomanwhoisseeking……"
"Seeking?"
"Sheseemsalwaystobesearchingabout,asifshehadlostsomething。Themereideaofhercomingmarriagedisgustsher;shelooksonitasaninsult。ShecaresasmuchforHIMasforapieceoforange-peel——notmore。YetIammuchmistakenifshedoesnotlookonhimwithfearandtrembling。Sheforbidshisnametobementionedbeforeher,andtheyonlymeetwhenunavoidable。Heunderstands,wellenough!ButitmustbegonethroughSheisrestless,mocking,deceitful,violent……"
"Deceitfulandviolent?"
"Yes,violent。Icangiveyouaproofofit。AfewdaysagoshetriedtopullmyhairbecauseIsaidsomethingthatannoyedher。
ItriedtosootheherbyreadingtheApocalypsealoud。"
"What?"exclaimedtheprince,thinkinghehadnotheardaright。
"ByreadingtheApocalypse。Theladyhasarestlessimagination,he-he!Shehasalikingforconversationonserioussubjects,ofanykind;infacttheypleasehersomuch,thatitflattershertodiscussthem。NowforfifteenyearsatleastIhavestudiedtheApocalypse,andsheagreeswithmeinthinkingthatthepresentistheepochrepresentedbythethirdhorse,theblackonewhoseriderholdsameasureinhishand。Itseemstomethateverythingisruledbymeasureinourcentury;allmenareclamouringfortheirrights;’ameasureofwheatforapenny,andthreemeasuresofbarleyforapenny。’But,addedtothis,mendesirefreedomofmindandbody,apureheart,ahealthylife,andallGod’sgoodgifts。Nowbypleadingtheirrightsalone,theywillneverattainallthis,sothewhitehorse,withhisriderDeath,comesnext,andisfollowedbyHell。Wetalkedaboutthismatterwhenwemet,anditimpressedherverymuch。"
"Doyoubelieveallthis?"askedMuishkin,lookingcuriouslyathiscompanion。
"Ibothbelieveitandexplainit。Iambutapoorcreature,abeggar,anatominthescaleofhumanity。WhohastheleastrespectforLebedeff?Heisatargetforalltheworld,thebuttofanyfoolwhochoosestokickhim。ButininterpretingrevelationIamtheequalofanyone,greatashemaybe!Suchisthepowerofthemindandthespirit。Ihavemadealordlypersonagetremble,ashesatinhisarmchair……onlybytalkingtohimofthingsconcerningthespirit。Twoyearsago,onEasterEve,HisExcellencyNilAlexeyovitch,whosesubordinateI
wasthen,wishedtohearwhatIhadtosay,andsentamessagebyPeterZakkaritchtoaskmetogotohisprivateroom。’TheytellmeyouexpoundthepropheciesrelatingtoAntichrist,’saidhe,whenwewerealone。’Isthatso?’’Yes,’Iansweredunhesitatingly,andIbegantogivesomecommentsontheApostle’sallegoricalvision。Atfirsthesmiled,butwhenwereachedthenumericalcomputationsandcorrespondences,hetrembled,andturnedpale。Thenhebeggedmetoclosethebook,andsentmeaway,promisingtoputmynameontherewardlist。
ThattookplaceasIsaidontheeveofEaster,andeightdayslaterhissoulreturnedtoGod。"
"What?"
"Itisthetruth。Oneeveningafterdinnerhestumbledashesteppedoutofhiscarriage。Hefell,andstruckhisheadonthecurb,anddiedimmediately。Hewasseventy-threeyearsofage,andhadaredface,andwhitehair;hedelugedhimselfwithscent,andwasalwayssmilinglikeachild。PeterZakkaritchrecalledmyinterviewwithhim,andsaid,’YOUFORETOLDHIS
DEATH。’"
Theprincerosefromhisseat,andLebedeff,surprisedtoseehisguestpreparingtogososoon,remarked:"Youarenotinterested?"inarespectfultone。
"Iamnotverywell,andmyheadaches。Doubtlesstheeffectofthejourney,"repliedtheprince,frowning。
"Youshouldgointothecountry,"saidLebedefftimidly。
Theprinceseemedtobeconsideringthesuggestion。
"Yousee,Iamgoingintothecountrymyselfinthreedays,withmychildrenandbelongings。Thelittleoneisdelicate;sheneedschangeofair;andduringourabsencethishousewillbedoneup。
IamgoingtoPavlofsk。"
"YouaregoingtoPavlofsktoo?"askedtheprincesharply。
"Everybodyseemstobegoingthere。Haveyouahouseinthatneighbourhood?"
"Idon’tknowofmanypeoplegoingtoPavlofsk,andasforthehouse,IvanPtitsinhasletmeoneofhisvillasrathercheaply。
Itisapleasantplace,lyingonahillsurroundedbytrees,andonecanlivethereforameresong。Thereisgoodmusictobeheard,sonowonderitispopular。Ishallstayinthelodge。Astothevillaitself……"
"Haveyouletit?"
"N-no——notexactly。"
"Letittome,"saidtheprince。
NowthiswaspreciselywhatLebedeffhadmadeuphismindtodointhelastthreeminutes。Notthathebadanydifficultyinfindingatenant;infactthehousewasoccupiedatpresentbyachancevisitor,whohadtoldLebedeffthathewouldperhapstakeitforthesummermonths。Theclerkknewverywellthatthis"PERHAPS"meant"CERTAINLY,"butashethoughthecouldmakemoreoutofatenantliketheprince,hefeltjustifiedinspeakingvaguelyaboutthepresentinhabitant’sintentions。"Thisisquiteacoincidence,"thoughthe,andwhenthesubjectofpricewasmentioned,hemadeagesturewithhishand,asiftowaiveawayaquestionofsolittleimportance。
"Ohwell,asyoulike!"saidMuishkin。"Iwillthinkitover。Youshalllosenothing!"
Theywerewalkingslowlyacrossthegarden。
"Butifyou……Icould……"stammeredLebedeff,"if……ifyouplease,prince,tellyousomethingonthesubjectwhichwouldinterestyou,Iamsure。"Hespokeinwheedlingtones,andwriggledashewalkedalong。
Muishkinstoppedshort。
"DariaAlexeyevnaalsohasavillaatPavlofsk。"
"Well?"
"Acertainpersonisveryfriendlywithher,andintendstovisitherprettyoften。"
Well?"
"AglayaIvanovna……"
"Ohstop,Lebedeff!"interposedMuishkin,feelingasifhehadbeentouchedonanopenwound。"That……thathasnothingtodowithme。Ishouldliketoknowwhenyouaregoingtostart。ThesoonerthebetterasfarasIamconcerned,forIamatanhotel。"
Theyhadleftthegardennow,andwerecrossingtheyardontheirwaytothegate。
"Well,leaveyourhotelatonceandcomehere;thenwecanallgotogethertoPavlofskthedayaftertomorrow。"
"Iwillthinkaboutit,"saidtheprincedreamily,andwentoff。
Theclerkstoodlookingafterhisguest,struckbyhissuddenabsent-mindedness。Hehadnotevenrememberedtosaygoodbye,andLebedeffwasthemoresurprisedattheomission,asheknewbyexperiencehowcourteoustheprinceusuallywas。
III
Itwasnowcloseontwelveo’clock。
TheprinceknewthatifhecalledattheEpanchins’nowhewouldonlyfindthegeneral,andthatthelattermightprobablycarryhimstraightofftoPavlofskwithhim;whereastherewasonevisithewasmostanxioustomakewithoutdelay。
SoattheriskofmissingGeneralEpanchinaltogether,andthuspostponinghisvisittoPavlofskforaday,atleast,theprincedecidedtogoandlookforthehousehedesiredtofind。
Thevisithewasabouttopaywas,insomerespects,ariskyone。
Hewasintwomindsaboutit,butknowingthatthehousewasintheGorohovaya,notfarfromtheSadovaya,hedeterminedtogointhatdirection,andtotrytomakeuphismindontheway。
ArrivedatthepointwheretheGorohovayacrossestheSadovaya,hewassurprisedtofindhowexcessivelyagitatedhewas。Hehadnoideathathisheartcouldbeatsopainfully。
OnehouseintheGorohovayabegantoattracthisattentionlongbeforehereachedit,andtheprincerememberedafterwardsthathehadsaidtohimself:"Thatisthehouse,I’msureofit。"Hecameuptoitquitecurioustodiscoverwhetherhehadguessedright,andfeltthathewouldbedisagreeablyimpressedtofindthathehadactuallydoneso。Thehousewasalargegloomy-
lookingstructure,withouttheslightestclaimtoarchitecturalbeauty,incolouradirtygreen。Thereareafewoftheseoldhouses,builttowardstheendofthelastcentury,stillstandinginthatpartofSt。Petersburg,andshowinglittlechangefromtheiroriginalformandcolour。Theyaresolidlybuilt,andareremarkableforthethicknessoftheirwalls,andforthefewnessoftheirwindows,manyofwhicharecoveredbygratings。Ontheground-floorthereisusuallyamoney-changer’sshop,andtheownerlivesoverit。Withoutaswellaswithin,thehousesseeminhospitableandmysterious——animpressionwhichisdifficulttoexplain,unlessithassomethingtodowiththeactualarchitecturalstyle。Thesehousesarealmostexclusivelyinhabitedbythemerchantclass。
Arrivedatthegate,theprincelookedupatthelegendoverit,whichran:
"HouseofRogojin,hereditaryandhonourablecitizen。"
Hehesitatednolonger;butopenedtheglazeddooratthebottomoftheouterstairsandmadehiswayuptothesecondstorey。Theplacewasdarkandgloomy-looking;thewallsofthestonestaircasewerepaintedadullred。Rogojinandhismotherandbrotheroccupiedthewholeofthesecondfloor。TheservantwhoopenedthedoortoMuishkinledhim,withouttakinghisname,throughseveralroomsandupanddownmanystepsuntiltheyarrivedatadoor,whereheknocked。
ParfenRogojinopenedthedoorhimself。
Onseeingtheprincehebecamedeadlywhite,andapparentlyfixedtotheground,sothathewasmorelikeamarblestatuethanahumanbeing。Theprincehadexpectedsomesurprise,butRogojinevidentlyconsideredhisvisitanimpossibleandmiraculousevent。Hestaredwithanexpressionalmostofterror,andhislipstwistedintoabewilderedsmile。
"Parfen!perhapsmyvisitisill-timed。I-Icangoawayagainifyoulike,"saidMuishkinatlast,ratherembarrassed。
"No,no;it’sallright,comein,"saidParfen,recollectinghimself。
Theywereevidentlyonquitefamiliarterms。InMoscowtheyhadhadmanyoccasionsofmeeting;indeed,somefewofthosemeetingswerebuttoovividlyimpressedupontheirmemories。Theyhadnotmetnow,however,forthreemonths。
Thedeathlikepallor,andasortofslightconvulsionaboutthelips,hadnotleftRogojin’sface。Thoughhewelcomedhisguest,hewasstillobviouslymuchdisturbed。Asheinvitedtheprincetositdownnearthetable,thelatterhappenedtoturntowardshim,andwasstartledbythestrangeexpressiononhisface。A
painfulrecollectionflashedintohismind。Hestoodforatime,lookingstraightatRogojin,whoseeyesseemedtoblazelikefire。AtlastRogojinsmiled,thoughhestilllookedagitatedandshaken。
"Whatareyoustaringatmelikethatfor?"hemuttered。"Sitdown。"
Theprincetookachair。
"Parfen,"hesaid,"tellmehonestly,didyouknowthatIwascomingtoPetersburgorno?"
"Oh,Isupposedyouwerecoming,"theotherreplied,smilingsarcastically,andIwasrightinmysupposition,yousee;buthowwasItoknowthatyouwouldcomeTODAY?"
Acertainstrangenessandimpatienceinhismannerimpressedtheprinceveryforcibly。
"AndifyouhadknownthatIwascomingtoday,whybesoirritatedaboutit?"heasked,inquietsurprise。
"Whydidyouaskme?"
"BecausewhenIjumpedoutofthetrainthismorning,twoeyesglaredatmejustasyoursdidamomentsince。"
"Ha!andwhoseeyesmaytheyhavebeen?"saidRogojin,suspiciously。Itseemedtotheprincethathewastrembling。
"Idon’tknow;Ithoughtitwasahallucination。Ioftenhavehallucinationsnowadays。IfeeljustasIdidfiveyearsagowhenmyfitswereabouttocomeon。"
"Well,perhapsitwasahallucination,Idon’tknow,"saidParfen。
Hetriedtogivetheprinceanaffectionatesmile,anditseemedtothelatterasthoughinthissmileofhissomethinghadbroken,andthathecouldnotmendit,tryashewould。
"Shallyougoabroadagainthen?"heasked,andsuddenlyadded,"DoyourememberhowwecameupinthetrainfromPskofftogether?Youandyourcloakandleggings,eh?"
AndRogojinburstoutlaughing,thistimewithunconcealedmalice,asthoughheweregladthathehadbeenabletofindanopportunityforgivingventtoit。
"Haveyouquitetakenupyourquartershere?"askedtheprince"Yes,I’mathome。WhereelseshouldIgoto?"
"Wehaven’tmetforsometime。MeanwhileIhaveheardthingsaboutyouwhichIshouldnothavebelievedtobepossible。"
"Whatofthat?Peoplewillsayanything,"saidRogojindrily。
"Atallevents,you’vedisbandedyourtroop——andyouarelivinginyourownhouseinsteadofbeingfastandlooseabouttheplace;
that’sallverygood。Isthishouseallyours,orjointproperty?"
"Itismymother’s。Yougettoherapartmentsbythatpassage。"
"Where’syourbrother?"
"Intheotherwing。"
"Ishemarried?"
"Widower。Whydoyouwanttoknowallthis?"
Theprincelookedathim,butsaidnothing。Hehadsuddenlyrelapsedintomusing,andhadprobablynotheardthequestionatall。Rogojindidnotinsistuponananswer,andtherewassilenceforafewmoments。
"Iguessedwhichwasyourhousefromahundredyardsoff,"saidtheprinceatlast。
"Whyso?"
"Idon’tquiteknow。Yourhousehastheaspectofyourselfandallyourfamily;itbearsthestampoftheRogojinlife;butaskmewhyIthinkso,andIcantellyounothing。Itisnonsense,ofcourse。Iamnervousaboutthiskindofthingtroublingmesomuch。Ihadneverbeforeimaginedwhatsortofahouseyouwouldlivein,andyetnosoonerdidIseteyesonthisonethanIsaidtomyselfthatitmustbeyours。"
"Really!"saidRogojinvaguely,nottakinginwhattheprincemeantbyhisratherobscureremarks。
Theroomtheywerenowsittinginwasalargeone,loftybutdark,wellfurnished,principallywithwriting-tablesanddeskscoveredwithpapersandbooks。AwidesofacoveredwithredmoroccoevidentlyservedRogojinforabed。Onthetablebesidewhichtheprincehadbeeninvitedtoseathimselflaysomebooks;
onecontainingamarkerwherethereaderhadleftoff,wasavolumeofSolovieff’sHistory。Someoil-paintingsinworngildedframeshungonthewalls,butitwasimpossibletomakeoutwhatsubjectstheyrepresented,soblackenedweretheybysmokeandage。One,alife-sizedportrait,attractedtheprince’sattention。Itshowedamanofaboutfifty,wearingalongriding-
coatofGermancut。Hehadtwomedalsonhisbreast;hisbeardwaswhite,shortandthin;hisfaceyellowandwrinkled,withasly,suspiciousexpressionintheeyes。
"Thatisyourfather,isitnot?"askedtheprince。
"Yes,itis,"repliedRogojinwithanunpleasantsmile,asifhehadexpectedhisguesttoaskthequestion,andthentomakesomedisagreeableremark。
"WasheoneoftheOldBelievers?"
"No,hewenttochurch,buttotellthetruthhereallypreferredtheoldreligion。Thiswashisstudyandisnowmine。WhydidyouaskifhewereanOldBeliever?"
"Areyougoingtobemarriedhere?"
"Ye-yes!"repliedRogojin,startingattheunexpectedquestion。
"Soon?"
"Youknowyourselfitdoesnotdependonme。"
"Parfen,Iamnotyourenemy,andIdonotintendtoopposeyourintentionsinanyway。IrepeatthistoyounowjustasIsaidittoyouoncebeforeonaverysimilaroccasion。WhenyouwerearrangingforyourprojectedmarriageinMoscow,Ididnotinterferewithyou——youknowIdidnot。Thatfirsttimeshefledtomefromyou,fromtheveryaltaralmost,andbeggedmeto’saveherfromyou。’Afterwardssheranawayfrommeagain,andyoufoundherandarrangedyourmarriagewithheroncemore;andnow,Ihear,shehasrunawayfromyouandcometoPetersburg。
Isittrue?Lebedeffwrotemetothiseffect,andthat’swhyIcamehere。ThatyouhadoncemorearrangedmatterswithNastasiaPhilipovnaIonlylearnedlastnightinthetrainfromafriendofyours,Zaleshoff——ifyouwishtoknow。
"IconfessIcameherewithanobject。IwishedtopersuadeNastasiatogoabroadforherhealth;sherequiresit。Bothmindandbodyneedachangebadly。Ididnotintendtotakeherabroadmyself。Iwasgoingtoarrangeforhertogowithoutme。NowI
tellyouhonestly,Parfen,ifitistruethatallismadeupbetweenyou,Iwillnotsomuchasseteyesuponher,andIwillneverevencometoseeyouagain。
"YouknowquitewellthatIamtellingthetruth,becauseIhavealwaysbeenfrankwithyou。Ihaveneverconcealedmyownopinionfromyou。IhavealwaystoldyouthatIconsideramarriagebetweenyouandherwouldberuintoher。Youwouldalsoberuined,andperhapsevenmorehopelessly。Ifthismarriageweretobebrokenoffagain,IadmitIshouldbegreatlypleased;butatthesametimeIhavenottheslightestintentionoftryingtopartyou。Youmaybequiteeasyinyourmind,andyouneednotsuspectme。YouknowyourselfwhetherIwaseverreallyyourrivalornot,evenwhensheranawayandcametome。
"There,youarelaughingatme——Iknowwhyyoulaugh。Itisperfectlytruethatwelivedapartfromoneanotherallthetime,indifferenttowns。ItoldyoubeforethatIdidnotloveherwithlove,butwithpity!Yousaidthenthatyouunderstoodme;
didyoureallyunderstandmeornot?Whathatredthereisinyoureyesatthismoment!Icametorelieveyourmind,becauseyouaredeartomealso。Iloveyouverymuch,Parfen;andnowIshallgoawayandnevercomebackagain。Goodbye。"
Theprincerose。
"Stayalittle,"saidParfen,notleavinghischairandrestinghisheadonhisrighthand。"Ihaven’tseenyouforalongtime。"
Theprincesatdownagain。Bothweresilentforafewmoments。
"WhenyouarenotwithmeIhateyou,LefNicolaievitch。IhaveloathedyoueverydayofthesethreemonthssinceIlastsawyou。
ByheavenIhave!"saidRogojin。"Icouldhavepoisonedyouatanyminute。Now,youhavebeenwithmebutaquarterofanhour,andallmymaliceseemstohavemeltedaway,andyouareasdeartomeasever。Stayherealittlelonger。"
"WhenIamwithyouyoutrustme;butassoonasmybackisturnedyoususpectme,"saidtheprince,smiling,andtryingtohidehisemotion。
"Itrustyourvoice,whenIhearyouspeak。IquiteunderstandthatyouandIcannotbeputonalevel,ofcourse。"
"Whydidyouaddthat?——There!Nowyouarecrossagain,"saidtheprince,wondering。
"Wewerenotasked,yousee。Weweremadedifferent,withdifferenttastesandfeelings,withoutbeingconsulted。Yousayyouloveherwithpity。Ihavenopityforher。Shehatesme——
that’stheplaintruthofthematter。Idreamofhereverynight,andalwaysthatsheislaughingatmewithanotherman。Andsoshedoeslaughatme。Shethinksnomoreofmarryingmethanifshewerechanginghershoe。Wouldyoubelieveit,Ihaven’tseenherforfivedays,andIdaren’tgonearher。SheasksmewhatI
comefor,asifshewerenotcontentwithhavingdisgracedme——"
"Disgracedyou!How?"
"Justasthoughyoudidn’tknow!Why,sheranawayfromme,andwenttoyou。Youadmittedityourself,justnow。"
"Butsurelyyoudonotbelievethatshe……"
"ThatshedidnotdisgracemeatMoscowwiththatofficer。
Zemtuznikoff?Iknowforcertainshedid,afterhavingfixedourmarriage-dayherself!"
"Impossible!"criedtheprince。
"Iknowitforafact,"repliedRogojin,withconviction。
"Itisnotlikeher,yousay?Myfriend,that’sabsurd。Perhapssuchanactwouldhorrifyher,ifshewerewithyou,butitisquitedifferentwhereIamconcerned。Shelooksonmeasvermin。
HeraffairwithKellerwassimplytomakealaughing-stockofme。
Youdon’tknowwhatafoolshemadeofmeinMoscow;andthemoneyIspentoverher!Themoney!themoney!"
"Andyoucanmarryhernow,Parfen!Whatwillcomeofitall?"
saidtheprince,withdreadinhisvoice。
Rogojingazedbackgloomily,andwithaterribleexpressioninhiseyes,butsaidnothing。
"Ihaven’tbeentoseeherforfivedays,"herepeated,afteraslightpause。"I’mafraidofbeingturnedout。Shesaysshe’sstillherownmistress,andmayturnmeoffaltogether,andgoabroad。Shetoldmethisherself,"hesaid,withapeculiarglanceatMuishkin。"Ithinksheoftendoesitmerelytofrightenme。Sheisalwayslaughingatme,forsomereasonorother;butatothertimesshe’sangry,andwon’tsayaword,andthat’swhatI’mafraidof。Itookherashawloneday,thelikeofwhichshemightneverhaveseen,althoughshedidliveinluxuryandshegaveitawaytohermaid,Katia。SometimeswhenIcankeepawaynolonger,Istealpastthehouseonthesly,andonceIwatchedatthegatetilldawn——Ithoughtsomethingwasgoingon——andshesawmefromthewindow。SheaskedmewhatIshoulddoifIfoundshehaddeceivedme。Isaid,’Youknowwellenough。’"
"Whatdidsheknow?"criedtheprince。
"HowwasItotell?"repliedRogojin,withanangrylaugh。"IdidmybesttocatchhertrippinginMoscow,butdidnotsucceed。
However,Icaughtholdofheroneday,andsaid:’Youareengagedtobemarriedintoarespectablefamily,anddoyouknowwhatsortofawomanyouare?THAT’Sthesortofwomanyouare,’I
said。"
"Youtoldherthat?"
"Yes。"
"Well,goon。"
"Shesaid,’Iwouldn’tevenhaveyouforafootmannow,muchlessforahusband。’’Ishan’tleavethehouse,’Isaid,’soitdoesn’tmatter。’’ThenIshallcallsomebodyandhaveyoukickedout,’shecried。SothenIrushedather,andbeathertillshewasbruisedallover。"
"Impossible!"criedtheprince,aghast。
"Itellyouit’strue,"saidRogojinquietly,butwitheyesablazewithpassion。
"ThenforadayandahalfIneitherslept,norate,nordrank,andwouldnotleaveher。Ikneltatherfeet:’Ishalldiehere,’
Isaid,’ifyoudon’tforgiveme;andifyouhavemeturnedout,Ishalldrownmyself;because,whatshouldIbewithoutyounow?’
Shewaslikeamadwomanallthatday;nowshewouldcry;nowshewouldthreatenmewithaknife;nowshewouldabuseme。ShecalledinZaleshoffandKeller,andshowedmetothem,shamedmeintheirpresence。’Let’sallgotothetheatre,’shesays,’andleavehimhereifhewon’tgo——it’snotmybusiness。They’llgiveyousometea,ParfenSemeonovitch,whileIamaway,foryoumustbehungry。’Shecamebackfromthetheatrealone。’Thosecowardswouldn’tcome,’shesaid。’Theyareafraidofyou,andtriedtofrightenme,too。"Hewon’tgoawayashecame,"theysaid,"he’llcutyourthroat——seeifhedoesn’t。"Now,Ishallgotomybedroom,andIshallnotevenlockmydoor,justtoshowyouhowmuchIamafraidofyou。Youmustbeshownthatonceforall。Didyouhavetea?’’No,’Isaid,’andIdon’tintendto。’’Ha,ha!
youareplayingoffyourprideagainstyourstomach!Thatsortofheroismdoesn’tsitwellonyou,’shesaid。
"Withthatshedidasshehadsaidshewould;shewenttobed,anddidnotlockherdoor。Inthemorningshecameout。’Areyouquitemad?’shesaid,sharply。’Why,you’lldieofhungerlikethis。’’Forgiveme,’Isaid。’No,Iwon’t,andIwon’tmarryyou。
I’vesaidit。Surelyyouhaven’tsatinthischairallnightwithoutsleeping?’’Ididn’tsleep,’Isaid。’H’m!howsensibleofyou。Andareyougoingtohavenobreakfastordinnertoday?’
’ItoldyouIwouldn’t。Forgiveme!’’You’venoideahowunbecomingthissortofthingistoyou,’shesaid,’it’slikeputtingasaddleonacow’sback。Doyouthinkyouarefrighteningme?Myword,whatadreadfulthingthatyoushouldsithereandeatnofood!HowterriblyfrightenedIam!’Shewasn’tangrylong,anddidn’tseemtoremembermyoffenceatall。
Iwassurprised,forsheisavindictive,resentfulwoman——butthenIthoughtthatperhapsshedespisedmetoomuchtofeelanyresentmentagainstme。Andthat’sthetruth。
"Shecameuptomeandsaid,’DoyouknowwhothePopeofRomeis?’’I’veheardofhim,’Isaid。’Isupposeyou’vereadtheUniversalHistory,ParfenSemeonovitch,haven’tyou?’sheasked。
’I’velearnednothingatall,’Isaid。’ThenI’lllendittoyoutoread。YoumustknowtherewasaRomanPopeonce,andhewasveryangrywithacertainEmperor;sotheEmperorcameandneitheratenordrank,butkneltbeforethePope’spalacetillheshouldbeforgiven。AndwhatsortofvowsdoyouthinkthatEmperorwasmakingduringallthosedaysonhisknees?Stop,I’llreadittoyou!’Thenshereadmealotofverses,whereitsaidthattheEmperorspentallthetimevowingvengeanceagainstthePope。’Youdon’tmeantosayyoudon’tapproveofthepoem,ParfenSemeonovitch,’shesays。’Allyouhavereadoutisperfectlytrue,’sayI。’Aha!’saysshe,’youadmitit’strue,doyou?AndyouaremakingvowstoyourselfthatifImarryyou,youwillremindmeofallthis,andtakeitoutofme。’’Idon’tknow,’I
say,’perhapsIwasthinkinglikethat,andperhapsIwasnot。
I’mnotthinkingofanythingjustnow。’’Whatareyourthoughts,then?’’I’mthinkingthatwhenyourisefromyourchairandgopastme,Iwatchyou,andfollowyouwithmyeyes;ifyourdressdoesbutrustle,myheartsinks;ifyouleavetheroom,Iremembereverylittlewordandaction,andwhatyourvoicesoundedlike,andwhatyousaid。Ithoughtofnothingalllastnight,butsatherelisteningtoyoursleepingbreath,andheardyoumovealittle,twice。’’Andasforyourattackuponme,’shesays,’IsupposeyouneveroncethoughtofTHAT?’’PerhapsIdidthinkofit,andperhapsnot,’Isay。AndwhatifIdon’teitherforgiveyouormarry,you’’ItellyouIshallgoanddrownmyself。’’H’m!’shesaid,andthenrelapsedintosilence。Thenshegotangry,andwentout。’Isupposeyou’dmurdermebeforeyoudrownedyourself,though!’shecriedasshelefttheroom。
"Anhourlater,shecametomeagain,lookingmelancholy。’Iwillmarryyou,ParfenSemeonovitch,’shesays,notbecauseI’mfrightenedofyou,butbecauseit’sallthesametomehowIruinmyself。AndhowcanIdoitbetter?Sitdown;they’llbringyousomedinnerdirectly。AndifIdomarryyou,I’llbeafaithfulwifetoyou——youneednotdoubtthat。’Thenshethoughtabit,andsaid,’Atallevents,youarenotaflunkey;atfirst,I
thoughtyouwerenobetterthanaflunkey。’Andshearrangedtheweddingandfixedthedaystraightawayonthespot。
"Then,inanotherweek,shehadrunawayagain,andcameheretoLebedeff’s;andwhenIfoundherhere,shesaidtome,’I’mnotgoingtorenounceyoualtogether,butIwishtoputofftheweddingabitlongeryet——justaslongasIlike——forIamstillmyownmistress;soyoumaywait,ifyoulike。’That’showthematterstandsbetweenusnow。Whatdoyouthinkofallthis,LefNicolaievitch?"
"’Whatdoyouthinkofityourself?"repliedtheprince,lookingsadlyatRogojin。
"AsifIcanthinkanythingaboutit!I——"Hewasabouttosaymore,butstoppedindespair。
Theprinceroseagain,asifhewouldleave。
"Atallevents,Ishallnotinterferewithyou!"hemurmured,asthoughmakinganswertosomesecretthoughtofhisown。
"I’lltellyouwhat!"criedRogojin,andhiseyesflashedfire。
"Ican’tunderstandyouryieldinghertomelikethis;Idon’tunderstandit。Haveyougivenuplovingheraltogether?Atfirstyousufferedbadly——Iknowit——Isawit。Besides,whydidyoucomepost-hasteafterus?Outofpity,eh?He,he,he!"Hismouthcurvedinamockingsmile。
"DoyouthinkIamdeceivingyou?"askedtheprince。
"No!Itrustyou——butIcan’tunderstand。Itseemstomethatyourpityisgreaterthanmylove。"Ahungrylongingtospeakhismindoutseemedtoflashintheman’seyes,combinedwithanintenseanger。
"Yourloveismingledwithhatred,andtherefore,whenyourlovepasses,therewillbethegreatermisery,"saidtheprince。"I
tellyouthis,Parfen——"
"What!thatI’llcutherthroat,youmean?"
Theprinceshuddered。
"You’llhateherafterwardsforallyourpresentlove,andforallthetormentyouaresufferingonheraccountnow。Whatseemstomethemostextraordinarythingis,thatshecanagainconsenttomarryyou,afterallthathaspassedbetweenyou。WhenIheardthenewsyesterday,Icouldhardlybringmyselftobelieveit。
Why,shehasruntwicefromyou,fromtheveryaltarrails,asitwere。Shemusthavesomepresentimentofevil。Whatcanshewantwithyounow?Yourmoney?Nonsense!Besides,Ishouldthinkyoumusthavemadeafairlylargeholeinyourfortunealready。
Surelyitisnotbecausesheissoveryanxioustofindahusband?Shecouldfindmanyaonebesidesyourself。Anyonewouldbebetterthanyou,becauseyouwillmurderher,andIfeelsureshemustknowthatbuttoowellbynow。Isitbecauseyoulovehersopassionately?Indeed,thatmaybeit。Ihaveheardthattherearewomenwhowantjustthatkindoflove……butstill……"
Theprincepaused,reflectively。
"Whatareyougrinningatmyfather’sportraitagainfor?"askedRogojin,suddenly。Hewascarefullyobservingeverychangeintheexpressionoftheprince’sface。
"Ismiledbecausetheideacameintomyheadthatifitwerenotforthisunhappypassionofyoursyoumighthave,andwouldhave,becomejustsuchamanasyourfather,andthatveryquickly,too。You’dhavesettleddowninthishouseofyourswithsomesilentandobedientwife。Youwouldhavespokenrarely,trustednoone,heedednoone,andthoughtofnothingbutmakingmoney。"
"Laughaway!Shesaidexactlythesame,almostwordforword,whenshesawmyfather’sportrait。It’sremarkablehowentirelyyouandsheareatonenow-a-days。"
"What,hasshebeenhere?"askedtheprincewithcuriosity。
"Yes!Shelookedlongattheportraitandaskedallaboutmyfather。’You’dbejustsuchanother,’shesaidatlast,andlaughed。’Youhavesuchstrongpassions,Parfen,’shesaid,’thatthey’dhavetakenyoutoSiberiainnotimeifyouhadnot,luckily,intelligenceaswell。Foryouhaveagooddealofintelligence。’Shesaidthis——believeitornot。ThefirsttimeIeverheardanythingofthatsortfromher。’You’dsoonhavethrownupallthisrowdyismthatyouindulgeinnow,andyou’dhavesettleddowntoquiet,steadymoney-making,becauseyouhavelittleeducation;andhereyou’dhavestayedjustlikeyourfatherbeforeyou。Andyou’dhavelovedyourmoneysothatyou’damassnottwomillion,likehim,buttenmillion;andyou’dhavediedofhungeronyourmoneybagstofinishupwith,foryoucarryeverythingtoextremes。’There,that’sexactlywordforwordasshesaidittome。Shenevertalkedtomelikethatbefore。Shealwaystalksnonsenseandlaughswhenshe’swithme。
Wewentalloverthisoldhousetogether。’Ishallchangeallthis,’Isaid,’orelseI’llbuyanewhouseforthewedding。’
’No,no!’shesaid,’don’ttouchanything;leaveitallasitis;
IshalllivewithyourmotherwhenImarryyou。’
"Itookhertoseemymother,andshewasasrespectfulandkindasthoughshewereherowndaughter。Motherhasbeenalmostdementedeversincefatherdied——she’sanoldwoman。Shesitsandbowsfromherchairtoeveryoneshesees。Ifyouleftheraloneanddidn’tfeedherforthreedays,Idon’tbelieveshewouldnoticeit。Well,Itookherhand,andIsaid,’Giveyourblessingtothislady,mother,she’sgoingtobemywife。’SoNastasiakissedmother’shandwithgreatfeeling。’Shemusthavesufferedterribly,hasn’tshe?’shesaid。Shesawthisbookherelyingbeforeme。’What!haveyoubeguntoreadRussianhistory?’sheasked。ShetoldmeonceinMoscow,youknow,thatIhadbettergetSolovieff’sRussianHistoryandreadit,becauseIknewnothing。’That’sgood,’shesaid,’yougoonlikethat,readingbooks。I’llmakeyoualistmyselfofthebooksyououghttoreadfirst——shallI?’Shehadneveroncespokentomelikethisbefore;itwasthefirsttimeIfeltIcouldbreathebeforeherlikealivingcreature。"
"I’mvery,verygladtohearofthis,Parfen,"saidtheprince,withrealfeeling。"Whoknows?MaybeGodwillyetbringyouneartooneanother。"
"Never,never!"criedRogojin,excitedly。
"Lookhere,Parfen;ifyoulovehersomuch,surelyyoumustbeanxioustoearnherrespect?Andifyoudosowish,surelyyoumayhopeto?IsaidjustnowthatIconsidereditextraordinarythatshecouldstillbereadytomarryyou。Well,thoughIcannotyetunderstandit,Ifeelsureshemusthavesomegoodreason,orshewouldn’tdoit。Sheissureofyourlove;butbesidesthat,shemustattributeSOMETHINGelsetoyou——somegoodqualities,otherwisethethingwouldnotbe。Whatyouhavejustsaidconfirmsmywords。Yousayyourselfthatshefounditpossibletospeaktoyouquitedifferentlyfromherusualmanner。Youaresuspicious,youknow,andjealous,thereforewhenanythingannoyinghappenstoyou,youexaggerateitssignificance。Ofcourse,ofcourse,shedoesnotthinksoillofyouasyousay。
Why,ifshedid,shewouldsimplybewalkingtodeathbydrowningorbytheknife,withhereyeswideopen,whenshemarriedyou。
Itisimpossible!Asifanybodywouldgototheirdeathdeliberately!"
Rogojinlistenedtotheprince’sexcitedwordswithabittersmile。Hisconvictionwas,apparently,unalterable。
"Howdreadfullyyoulookatme,Parfen!"saidtheprince,withafeelingofdread。
"Waterortheknife?"saidthelatter,atlast。"Ha,ha——that’sexactlywhysheisgoingtomarryme,becausesheknowsforcertainthattheknifeawaitsher。Prince,canitbethatyoudon’tevenyetseewhat’sattherootofitall?"
"Idon’tunderstandyou。"
"Perhapshereallydoesn’tunderstandme!Theydosaythatyouarea——youknowwhat!Shelovesanother——there,youcanunderstandthatmuch!JustasIloveher,exactlysoshelovesanotherman。Andthatothermanis——doyouknowwho?It’syou。
There——youdidn’tknowthat,eh?"
"I?"
"You,you!Shehaslovedyoueversincethatday,herbirthday!
Onlyshethinksshecannotmarryyou,becauseitwouldbetheruinofyou。’EverybodyknowswhatsortofawomanIam,’shesays。Shetoldmeallthisherself,tomyveryface!She’safraidofdisgracingandruiningyou,shesays,butitdoesn’tmatteraboutme。Shecanmarrymeallright!Noticehowmuchconsiderationsheshowsforme!"
"Butwhydidsherunawaytome,andthenagainfrommeto——"
"Fromyoutome?Ha,ha!that’snothing!Why,shealwaysactsasthoughshewereinadeliriumnow-a-days!Eithershesays,’Comeon,I’llmarryyou!Let’shavetheweddingquickly!’andfixestheday,andseemsinahurryforit,andwhenitbeginstocomenearshefeelsfrightened;orelsesomeotherideagetsintoherhead——goodnessknows!you’veseenher——youknowhowshegoeson——
laughingandcryingandraving!There’snothingextraordinaryaboutherhavingrunawayfromyou!Sheranawaybecauseshefoundouthowdearlyshelovedyou。Shecouldnotbeartobenearyou。YousaidjustnowthatIhadfoundheratMoscow,whensheranawayfromyou。Ididn’tdoanythingofthesort;shecametomeherself,straightfromyou。’Nametheday——I’mready!’shesaid。’Let’shavesomechampagne,andgoandhearthegipsiessing!’Itellyoushe’dhavethrownherselfintothewaterlongagoifitwerenotforme!Shedoesn’tdoitbecauseIam,perhaps,evenmoredreadfultoherthanthewater!She’smarryingmeoutofspite;ifshemarriesme,Itellyou,itwillbeforspite!"
"Buthowdoyou,howcanyou——"begantheprince,gazingwithdreadandhorroratRogojin。
"Whydon’tyoufinishyoursentence?ShallItellyouwhatyouwerethinkingtoyourselfjustthen?Youwerethinking,’Howcanshemarryhimafterthis?Howcanitpossiblybepermitted?’Oh,Iknowwhatyouwerethinkingabout!"
"Ididn’tcomehereforthatpurpose,Parfen。Thatwasnotinmymind——"
"Thatmaybe!Perhapsyoudidn’tCOMEwiththeidea,buttheideaiscertainlythereNOW!Ha,ha!well,that’senough!Whatareyouupsetabout?Didn’tyoureallyknowitallbefore?Youastonishme!"
"Allthisismerejealousy——itissomemaladyofyours,Parfen!
Youexaggerateeverything,"saidtheprince,excessivelyagitated。"Whatareyoudoing?"
"Letgoofit!"saidParfen,seizingfromtheprince’shandaknifewhichthelatterhadatthatmomenttakenupfromthetable,whereitlaybesidethehistory。Parfenreplaceditwhereithadbeen。
"Iseemedtoknowit——Ifeltit,whenIwascomingbacktoPetersburg,"continuedtheprince,"Ididnotwanttocome,I
wishedtoforgetallthis,touprootitfrommymemoryaltogether!Well,good-bye——whatisthematter?"
Hehadabsentlytakenuptheknifeasecondtime,andagainRogojinsnatcheditfromhishand,andthrewitdownonthetable。Itwasaplainlookingknife,withabonehandle,abladeabouteightincheslong,andbroadinproportion,itdidnotclasp。
Seeingthattheprincewasconsiderablystruckbythefactthathehadtwiceseizedthisknifeoutofhishand,Rogojincaughtitupwithsomeirritation,putitinsidethebook,andthrewthelatteracrosstoanothertable。
"Doyoucutyourpageswithit,orwhat?"askedMuishkin,stillratherabsently,asthoughunabletothrowoffadeeppreoccupationintowhichtheconversationhadthrownhim。
"Yes。"
"It’sagardenknife,isn’tit?"
"Yes。Can’tonecutpageswithagardenknife?"
"It’squitenew。"
"Well,whatofthat?Can’tIbuyanewknifeifIlike?"shoutedRogojinfuriously,hisirritationgrowingwitheveryword。
Theprinceshuddered,andgazedfixedlyatParfen。Suddenlyheburstoutlaughing。
"Why,whatanidea!"hesaid。"Ididn’tmeantoaskyouanyofthesequestions;Iwasthinkingofsomethingquitedifferent!Butmyheadisheavy,andIseemsoabsent-mindednowadays!Well,good-bye——Ican’trememberwhatIwantedtosay——good-bye!"
"Notthatway,"saidRogojin。
"There,I’veforgottenthattoo!"
"Thisway——comealong——I’llshowyou。"
IV。
THEYpassedthroughthesameroomswhichtheprincehadtraversedonhisarrival。Inthelargesttherewerepicturesonthewalls,portraitsandlandscapesoflittleinterest。Overthedoor,however,therewasoneofstrangeandratherstrikingshape;itwassixorsevenfeetinlength,andnotmorethanafootinheight。ItrepresentedtheSaviourjusttakenfromthecross。
Theprinceglancedatit,buttooknofurthernotice。Hemovedonhastily,asthoughanxioustogetoutofthehouse。ButRogojinsuddenlystoppedunderneaththepicture。
"Myfatherpickedupallthesepicturesverycheapatauctions,andsoon,"hesaid;"theyareallrubbish,excepttheoneoverthedoor,andthatisvaluable。Amanofferedfivehundredroublesforitlastweek。"
"Yes——that’sacopyofaHolbein,"saidtheprince,lookingatitagain,"andagoodcopy,too,sofarasIamabletojudge。Isawthepictureabroad,andcouldnotforgetit——what’sthematter?"
Rogojinhaddroppedthesubjectofthepictureandwalkedon。Ofcoursehisstrangeframeofmindwassufficienttoaccountforhisconduct;but,still,itseemedqueertotheprincethatheshouldsoabruptlydropaconversationcommencedbyhimself。
Rogojindidnottakeanynoticeofhisquestion。
"LefNicolaievitch,"saidRogojin,afterapause,duringwhichthetwowalkedalongalittlefurther,"Ihavelongwishedtoaskyou,doyoubelieveinGod?"
"Howstrangelyyouspeak,andhowoddyoulook!"saidtheother,involuntarily。
"Ilikelookingatthatpicture,"mutteredRogojin,notnoticing,apparently,thattheprincehadnotansweredhisquestion。
"Thatpicture!Thatpicture!"criedMuishkin,struckbyasuddenidea。"Why,aman’sfaithmightberuinedbylookingatthatpicture!"
"Soitis!"saidRogojin,unexpectedly。Theyhadnowreachedthefrontdoor。
Theprincestopped。
"How?"hesaid。"Whatdoyoumean?Iwashalfjoking,andyoutookmeupquiteseriously!WhydoyouaskmewhetherIbelieveinGod"Oh,noparticularreason。Imeanttoaskyoubefore——manypeopleareunbelieversnowadays,especiallyRussians,Ihavebeentold。
Yououghttoknow——you’velivedabroad。"
Rogojinlaughedbitterlyashesaidthesewords,andopeningthedoor,helditfortheprincetopassout。Muishkinlookedsurprised,butwentout。Theotherfollowedhimasfarasthelandingoftheouterstairs,andshutthedoorbehindhim。Theybothnowstoodfacingoneanother,asthoughobliviousofwheretheywere,orwhattheyhadtodonext。
"Well,good-bye!"saidtheprince,holdingouthishand。
"Good-bye,"saidRogojin,pressingithard,butquitemechanically。
Theprincemadeonestepforward,andthenturnedround。
"Astofaith,"hesaid,smiling,andevidentlyunwillingtoleaveRogojininthisstate——"astofaith,Ihadfourcuriousconversationsintwodays,aweekorsoago。OnemorningImetamaninthetrain,andmadeacquaintancewithhimatonce。Ihadoftenheardofhimasaverylearnedman,butanatheist;andI
wasverygladoftheopportunityofconversingwithsoeminentandcleveraperson。Hedoesn’tbelieveinGod,andhetalkedagooddealaboutit,butallthewhileitappearedtomethathewasspeakingOUTSIDETHESUBJECT。Andithasalwaysstruckme,bothinspeakingtosuchmenandinreadingtheirbooks,thattheydonotseemreallytobetouchingonthatatall,thoughonthesurfacetheymayappeartodoso。Itoldhimthis,butIdaresayIdidnotclearlyexpresswhatImeant,forhecouldnotunderstandme。
"ThatsameeveningIstoppedatasmallprovincialhotel,anditsohappenedthatadreadfulmurderhadbeencommittedtherethenightbefore,andeverybodywastalkingaboutit。Twopeasants——
elderlymenandoldfriends——hadhadteatogethertherethenightbefore,andweretooccupythesamebedroom。Theywerenotdrunkbutoneofthemhadnoticedforthefirsttimethathisfriendpossessedasilverwatchwhichhewaswearingonachain。Hewasbynomeansathief,andwas,aspeasantsgo,arichman;butthiswatchsofascinatedhimthathecouldnotrestrainhimself。
Hetookaknife,andwhenhisfriendturnedhisback,hecameupsoftlybehind,raisedhiseyestoheaven,crossedhimself,andsayingearnestly——’Godforgiveme,forChrist’ssake!’hecuthisfriend’sthroatlikeasheep,andtookthewatch。"
Rogojinroaredwithlaughter。Helaughedasthoughhewereinasortoffit。Itwasstrangetoseehimlaughingsoafterthesombremoodhehadbeeninjustbefore。
"Oh,Ilikethat!Thatbeatsanything!"hecriedconvulsively,pantingforbreath。"Oneisanabsoluteunbeliever;theotherissuchathorough——goingbelieverthathemurdershisfriendtothetuneofaprayer!Oh,prince,prince,that’stoogoodforanything!Youcan’thaveinventedit。It’sthebestthingI’veheard!"
"NextmorningIwentoutforastrollthroughthetown,"
continuedtheprince,sosoonasRogojinwasalittlequieter,thoughhislaughterstillburstoutatintervals,"andsoonobservedadrunken-lookingsoldierstaggeringaboutthepavement。
Hecameuptomeandsaid,’Buymysilvercross,sir!Youshallhaveitforfourpence——it’srealsilver。’Ilooked,andthereheheldacross,justtakenoffhisownneck,evidently,alargetinone,madeaftertheByzantinepattern。Ifishedoutfourpence,andputhiscrossonmyownneck,andIcouldseebyhisfacethathewasaspleasedashecouldbeatthethoughtthathehadsucceededincheatingafoolishgentleman,andawayhewenttodrinkthevalueofhiscross。AtthattimeeverythingthatIsawmadeatremendousimpressionuponme。IhadunderstoodnothingaboutRussiabefore,andhadonlyvagueandfantasticmemoriesofit。SoIthought,’IwillwaitawhilebeforeIcondemnthisJudas。OnlyGodknowswhatmaybehiddenintheheartsofdrunkards。’
"Well,Iwenthomewards,andnearthehotelIcameacrossapoorwoman,carryingachild——ababyofsomesixweeksold。Themotherwasquiteagirlherself。Thebabywassmilingupather,forthefirsttimeinitslife,justatthatmoment;andwhileIwatchedthewomanshesuddenlycrossedherself,oh,sodevoutly!’Whatisit,mygoodwomanIaskedher。Iwasneverbutaskingquestionsthen!Exactlyasisamother’sjoywhenherbabysmilesforthefirsttimeintohereyes,soisGod’sjoywhenoneofHischildrenturnsandpraystoHimforthefirsttime,withallhisheart!’Thisiswhatthatpoorwomansaidtome,almostwordforword;andsuchadeep,refined,trulyreligiousthoughtitwas——athoughtinwhichthewholeessenceofChristianitywasexpressedinoneflash——thatis,therecognitionofGodasourFather,andofGod’sjoyinmenasHisownchildren,whichisthechiefideaofChrist。Shewasasimplecountry-woman——amother,it’strue——
andperhaps,whoknows,shemayhavebeenthewifeofthedrunkensoldier!
"Listen,Parfen;youputaquestiontomejustnow。Thisismyreply。Theessenceofreligiousfeelinghasnothingtodowithreason,oratheism,orcrime,oractsofanykind——ithasnothingtodowiththesethings——andneverhad。Thereissomethingbesidesallthis,somethingwhichtheargumentsoftheatheistscannevertouch。Buttheprincipalthing,andtheconclusionofmyargument,isthatthisismostclearlyseenintheheartofaRussian。ThisisaconvictionwhichIhavegainedwhileIhavebeeninthisRussiaofours。Yes,Parfen!thereisworktobedone;thereisworktobedoneinthisRussianworld!RememberwhattalksweusedtohaveinMoscow!AndIneverwishedtocomehereatall;andIneverthoughttomeetyoulikethis,Parfen!
Well,well——good-bye——good-bye!Godbewithyou!"
Heturnedandwentdownstairs。
"LefNicolaievitch!"criedParfen,beforehehadreachedthenextlanding。"Haveyougotthatcrossyouboughtfromthesoldierwithyou?"
"Yes,Ihave,"andtheprincestoppedagain。
"Showitme,willyou?"
Anewfancy!Theprincereflected,andthenmountedthestairsoncemore。Hepulledoutthecrosswithouttakingitoffhisneck。
"Giveittome,"saidParfen。
"Why?doyou——"
Theprincewouldratherhavekeptthisparticularcross。
"I’llwearit;andyoushallhavemine。I’lltakeitoffatonce。"
"Youwishtoexchangecrosses?Verywell,Parfen,ifthat’sthecase,I’mgladenough——thatmakesusbrothers,youknow。"
Theprincetookoffhistincross,Parfenhisgoldone,andtheexchangewasmade。
Parfenwassilent。Withsadsurprisetheprinceobservedthatthelookofdistrust,thebitter,ironicalsmile,hadstillnotaltogetherlefthisnewly-adoptedbrother’sface。Atmoments,atallevents,itshoweditselfbuttooplainly,AtlastRogojintooktheprince’shand,andstoodsoforsomemoments,asthoughhecouldnotmakeuphismind。Thenhedrewhimalong,murmuringalmostinaudibly,"Come!"
Theystoppedonthelanding,andrangthebellatadooroppositetoParfen’sownlodging。
AnoldwomanopenedtothemandbowedlowtoParfen,whoaskedhersomequestionshurriedly,butdidnotwaittohearheranswer。Heledtheprinceonthroughseveraldark,cold-lookingrooms,spotlesslyclean,withwhitecoversoverallthefurniture。
Withouttheceremonyofknocking,Parfenenteredasmallapartment,furnishedlikeadrawing-room,butwithapolishedmahoganypartitiondividingonehalfofitfromwhatwasprobablyabedroom。Inonecornerofthisroomsatanoldwomaninanarm-
chair,closetothestove。Shedidnotlookveryold,andherfacewasapleasant,roundone;butshewaswhite-hairedand,asonecoulddetectatthefirstglance,quiteinhersecondchildhood。Sheworeablackwoollendress,withablackhandkerchiefroundherneckandshoulders,andawhitecapwithblackribbons。Herfeetwereraisedonafootstool。Besidehersatanotheroldwoman,alsodressedinmourning,andsilentlyknittingastocking;thiswasevidentlyacompanion。Theybothlookedasthoughtheyneverbrokethesilence。Thefirstoldwoman,sosoonasshesawRogojinandtheprince,smiledandbowedcourteouslyseveraltimes,intokenofhergratificationattheirvisit。
"Mother,"saidRogojin,kissingherhand,"hereismygreatfriend,PrinceMuishkin;wehaveexchangedcrosses;hewaslikearealbrothertomeatMoscowatonetime,anddidagreatdealforme。Blesshim,mother,asyouwouldblessyourownson。Waitamoment,letmearrangeyourhandsforyou。"
Buttheoldlady,beforeParfenhadtimetotouchher,raisedherrighthand,and,withthreefingersheldup,devoutlymadethesignofthecrossthreetimesovertheprince。Shethennoddedherheadkindlyathimoncemore。
"There,comealong,LefNicolaievitch;that’sallIbroughtyouherefor,"saidRogojin。
Whentheyreachedthestairsagainheadded:
"SheunderstoodnothingofwhatIsaidtoher,anddidnotknowwhatIwantedhertodo,andyetsheblessedyou;thatshowsshewishedtodosoherself。Well,goodbye;it’stimeyouwent,andI
mustgotoo。"
Heopenedhisowndoor。
"Well,letmeatleastembraceyouandsaygoodbye,youstrangefellow!"criedtheprince,lookingwithgentlereproachatRogojin,andadvancingtowardshim。Butthelatterhadhardlyraisedhisarmswhenhedroppedthemagain。Hecouldnotmakeuphismindtoit;heturnedawayfromtheprinceinordertoavoidlookingathim。Hecouldnotembracehim。
"Don’tbeafraid,"hemuttered,indistinctly,"thoughIhavetakenyourcross,Ishallnotmurderyouforyourwatch。"Sosaying,helaughedsuddenly,andstrangely。Theninamomenthisfacebecametransfigured;hegrewdeadlywhite,hislipstrembled,hisevesburnedlikefire。Hestretchedouthisarmsandheldtheprincetightlytohim,andsaidinastrangledvoice:
"Well,takeher!It’sFate!She’syours。Isurrenderher……
RememberRogojin!"Andpushingtheprincefromhim,withoutlookingbackathim,hehurriedlyenteredhisownflat,andbangedthedoor。