ShewrotethustoEmily:-
"Dec。1st,1843。
"ThisisSundaymorning。Theyareattheiridolatrous’messe,’
andIamhere,thatisintheRefectoire。Ishouldlikeuncommonlytobeinthedining-roomathome,orinthekitchen,orinthebackkitchen。Ishouldlikeeventobecuttingupthehash,withtheclerkandsomeregisterpeopleattheothertable,andyoustandingby,watchingthatIputenoughflour,nottoomuchpepper,and,aboveall,thatIsavethebestpiecesofthelegofmuttonforTigerandKeeper,thefirstofwhichpersonageswouldbejumpingaboutthedishandcarving-knife,andthelatterstandinglikeadevouringflameonthekitchen-floor。Tocompletethepicture,Tabbyblowingthefire,inordertoboilthepotatoestoasortofvegetableglue!Howdivinearetheserecollectionstomeatthismoment!YetIhavenothoughtofcominghomejustnow。Ilackarealpretextfordoingso;itistruethisplaceisdismaltome,butIcannotgohomewithoutafixedprospectwhenI
getthere;andthisprospectmustnotbeasituation;thatwouldbejumpingoutofthefrying-panintothefire。YOUcallyourselfidle!absurd,absurd!……Ispapawell?Areyouwell?andTabby?YouaskaboutQueenVictoria’svisittoBrussels。IsawherforaninstantflashingthroughtheRueRoyaleinacarriageandsix,surroundedbysoldiers。Shewaslaughingandtalkingverygaily。Shelookedalittlestout,vivaciouslady,veryplainlydressed,notmuchdignityorpretensionabouther。TheBelgianslikedherverywellonthewhole。TheysaidsheenlivenedthesombrecourtofKingLeopold,whichisusuallyasgloomyasaconventicle。Writetomeagainsoon。Tellmewhetherpapareallywantsmeverymuchtocomehome,andwhetheryoudolikewise。IhaveanideathatIshouldbeofnousethere——asortofagedpersonupontheparish。Ipray,withheartandsoul,thatallmaycontinuewellatHaworth;aboveallinourgreyhalf-
inhabitedhouse。Godblessthewallsthereof!Safety,health,happiness,andprosperitytoyou,papa,andTabby。Amen。
"C。B。"
Towardstheendofthisyear1843variousreasonsconspiredwiththecausesofanxietywhichhavebeenmentioned,tomakeherfeelthatherpresencewasabsolutelyandimperativelyrequiredathome,whileshehadacquiredallthatsheproposedtoherselfincomingtoBrusselsthesecondtime;andwas,moreover,nolongerregardedwiththeformerkindlinessoffeelingbyMadameHeger。
Inconsequenceofthisstateofthings,workingdownwithsharpedgeintoasensitivemind,shesuddenlyannouncedtothatladyherimmediateintentionofreturningtoEngland。BothM。andMadameHegeragreedthatitwouldbeforthebest,whentheylearntonlythatpartofthecasewhichshecouldrevealtothem——
namely,Mr。Bronte’sincreasingblindness。Butastheinevitablemomentofseparationfrompeopleandplaces,amongwhichshehadspentsomanyhappyhours,drewnear,herspiritsgaveway;shehadthenaturalpresentimentthatshesawthemallforthelasttime,andshereceivedbutadeadkindofcomfortfrombeingremindedbyherfriendsthatBrusselsandHaworthwerenotsoveryfarapart;thataccessfromoneplacetotheotherwasnotsodifficultorimpracticableashertearswouldseemtopredicate;
nay,therewassometalkofoneofMadameHeger’sdaughtersbeingsenttoherasapupil,ifshefulfilledherintentionoftryingtobeginaschool。Tofacilitatehersuccessinthisplan,shouldsheeverengageinit,M。Hegergaveherakindofdiploma,datedfrom,andsealedwiththesealoftheAtheneeRoyaldeBruxelles,certifyingthatshewasperfectlycapableofteachingtheFrenchlanguage,havingwellstudiedthegrammarandcompositionthereof,and,moreover,havingpreparedherselfforteachingbystudyingandpractisingthebestmethodsofinstruction。ThiscertificateisdatedDecember29th1843,andonthe2ndofJanuary,1844,shearrivedatHaworth。
Onthe23rdofthemonthshewritesasfollows:-
"EveryoneasksmewhatIamgoingtodo,nowthatIamreturnedhome;andeveryoneseemstoexpectthatIshouldimmediatelycommenceaschool。Intruth,itiswhatIshouldwishtodo。I
desireitaboveallthings。Ihavesufficientmoneyfortheundertaking,andIhopenowsufficientqualificationstogivemeafairchanceofsuccess;yetIcannotyetpermitmyselftoenteruponlife——totouchtheobjectwhichseemsnowwithinmyreach,andwhichIhavebeensolongstrainingtoattain。Youwillaskmewhy?Itisonpapa’saccount;heisnow,asyouknow,gettingold,anditgrievesmetotellyouthatheislosinghissight。I
havefeltforsomemonthsthatIoughtnottobeawayfromhim;
andIfeelnowthatitwouldbetooselfishtoleavehimatleast,aslongasBranwellandAnneareabsent,inordertopursueselfishinterestsofmyown。WiththehelpofGod,Iwilltrytodenymyselfinthismatter,andtowait。
"IsufferedmuchbeforeIleftBrussels。Ithink,howeverlongI
live,IshallnotforgetwhatthepartingwithM。Hegercostme。
Itgrievedmesomuchtogrievehimwhohasbeensotrue,kind,anddisinterestedafriend。Atpartinghegavemeakindofdiplomacertifyingmyabilitiesasateacher,sealedwiththesealoftheAtheneeRoyal,ofwhichheisprofessor。IwassurprisedalsoatthedegreeofregretexpressedbymyBelgianpupils,whentheyknewIwasgoingtoleave。Ididnotthinkithadbeenintheirphlegmaticnature……IdonotknowwhetheryoufeelasI
do,buttherearetimesnowwhenitappearstomeasifallmyideasandfeelings,exceptafewfriendshipsandaffections,arechangedfromwhattheyusedtobe;somethinginme,whichusedtobeenthusiasm,istameddownandbroken。Ihavefewerillusions;
whatIwishfornowisactiveexertion——astakeinlife。Haworthseemssuchalonely,quietspot,buriedawayfromtheworld。Inolongerregardmyselfasyoung——indeed,Ishallsoonbetwenty-
eight;anditseemsasifIoughttobeworkingandbravingtheroughrealitiesoftheworld,asotherpeopledo。Itis,however,mydutytorestrainthisfeelingatpresent,andIwillendeavourtodoso。"
Ofcourseherabsentsisterandbrotherobtainedaholidaytowelcomeherreturnhome,andinafewweeksshewassparedtopayavisittoherfriendatB。Butshewasfarfromwellorstrong,andtheshortjourneyoffourteenmilesseemstohavefatiguedhergreatly。
SoonaftershecamebacktoHaworth,inalettertooneofthehouseholdinwhichshehadbeenstaying,thereoccursthispassage:-"Ourpoorlittlecathasbeenilltwodays,andisjustdead。Itispiteoustoseeevenananimallyinglifeless。Emilyissorry。"Thesefewwordsrelatetopointsinthecharactersofthetwosisters,whichImustdwelluponalittle。Charlottewasmorethancommonlytenderinhertreatmentofalldumbcreatures,andthey,withthatfineinstinctsooftennoticed,wereinvariablyattractedtowardsher。Thedeepandexaggeratedconsciousnessofherpersonaldefects——theconstitutionalabsenceofhope,whichmadeherslowtotrustinhumanaffection,and,consequently,slowtorespondtoanymanifestationofit——madehermannershyandconstrainedtomenandwomen,andeventochildren。
Wehaveseensomethingofthistremblingdistrustofherowncapabilityofinspiringaffection,inthegratefulsurprisesheexpressesattheregretfeltbyherBelgianpupilsatherdeparture。Butnotmerelywereheractionskind,herwordsandtoneswereevergentleandcaressing,towardsanimals:andshequicklynoticedtheleastwantofcareortendernessonthepartofotherstowardsanypoorbrutecreature。Thereadersof"Shirley"mayrememberthatitisoneofthetestswhichtheheroineappliestoherlover。
"DoyouknowwhatsoothsayersIwouldconsult?"……"ThelittleIrishbeggarthatcomesbarefoottomydoor;themousethatstealsoutofthecrannyinmywainscot;thebirdinfrostandsnowthatpecksatmywindowforacrumb;thedogthatlicksmyhandandsitsbesidemyknee。Iknowsomebodytowhosekneetheblackcatlovestoclimb,againstwhoseshoulderandcheekitlikestopurr。
Theolddogalwayscomesoutofhiskennelandwagshistail,andwhinesaffectionatelywhensomebodypasses。"[For"somebody"and"he,"read"CharlotteBronte"and"she。"]"Hequietlystrokesthecat,andletshersitwhileheconvenientlycan;andwhenhemustdisturbherbyrising,heputshersoftlydown,andneverflingsherfromhimroughly:healwayswhistlestothedog,andgiveshimacaress。"
Thefeeling,whichinCharlottepartookofsomethingofthenatureofanaffection,was,withEmily,moreofapassion。Someonespeakingofhertome,inacarelesskindofstrengthofexpression,said,"shenevershowedregardtoanyhumancreature;
allherlovewasreservedforanimals。"ThehelplessnessofananimalwasitspassporttoCharlotte’sheart;thefierce,wild,intractabilityofitsnaturewaswhatoftenrecommendedittoEmily。Speakingofherdeadsister,theformertoldmethatfromhermanytraitsinShirley’scharacterweretaken;herwayofsittingontherugreading,withherarmroundherroughbull-
dog’sneck;hercallingtoastrangedog,runningpast,withhangingheadandlollingtongue,togiveitamercifuldraughtofwater,itsmaddenedsnapather,hernoblysternpresenceofmind,goingrightintothekitchen,andtakinguponeofTabby’sred-hotItalianironstosearthebittenplace,andtellingnoone,tillthedangerwaswell-nighover,forfearoftheterrorsthatmightbesettheirweakerminds。Allthis,lookeduponasawell-
inventedfictionin"Shirley,"waswrittendownbyCharlottewithstreamingeyes;itwastheliteraltrueaccountofwhatEmilyhaddone。Thesametawnybull-dogwithhis"strangledwhistle",called"Tartar"in"Shirley,"was"Keeper"inHaworthparsonage;agifttoEmily。Withthegiftcameawarning。Keeperwasfaithfultothedepthsofhisnatureaslongashewaswithfriends;buthewhostruckhimwithastickorwhip,rousedtherelentlessnatureofthebrute,whoflewathisthroatforthwith,andheldhimtheretilloneortheotherwasatthepointofdeath。NowKeeper’shouseholdfaultwasthis。Helovedtostealupstairs,andstretchhissquare,tawnylimbs,onthecomfortablebeds,coveredoverwithdelicatewhitecounterpanes。Butthecleanlinessoftheparsonagearrangementswasperfect;andthishabitofKeeper’swassoobjectionable,thatEmily,inreplytoTabby’sremonstrances,declaredthat,ifhewasfoundagaintransgressing,sheherself,indefianceofwarningandhiswell-knownferocityofnature,wouldbeathimsoseverelythathewouldneveroffendagain。Inthegatheringduskofanautumnevening,Tabbycame,half-
triumphantly,half-tremblingly,butingreatwrath,totellEmilythatKeeperwaslyingonthebestbed,indrowsyvoluptuousness。
CharlottesawEmily’swhiteningface,andsetmouth,butdarednotspeaktointerfere;noonedaredwhenEmily’seyesglowedinthatmanneroutofthepalenessofherface,andwhenherlipsweresocompressedintostone。Shewentupstairs,andTabbyandCharlottestoodinthegloomypassagebelow,fullofthedarkshadowsofcomingnight。Down-stairscameEmily,draggingafterhertheunwillingKeeper,hishindlegssetinaheavyattitudeofresistance,heldbythe"scuftofhisneck,"butgrowlinglowandsavagelyallthetime。Thewatcherswouldfainhavespoken,butdurstnot,forfearoftakingoffEmily’sattention,andcausinghertoavertherheadforamomentfromtheenragedbrute。Shelethimgo,plantedinadarkcorneratthebottomofthestairs;
notimewastheretofetchstickorrod,forfearofthestranglingclutchatherthroat——herbareclenchedfiststruckagainsthisredfierceeyes,beforehehadtimetomakehisspring,and,inthelanguageoftheturf,she"punishedhim"tillhiseyeswereswelledup,andthehalf-blind,stupifiedbeastwasledtohisaccustomedlair,tohavehisswollenheadfomentedandcaredforbytheveryEmilyherself。Thegenerousdogowedhernogrudge;helovedherdearlyeverafter;hewalkedfirstamongthemournerstoherfuneral;hesleptmoaningfornightsatthedoorofheremptyroom,andnever,sotospeak,rejoiced,dogfashion,afterherdeath。He,inhisturn,wasmournedoverbythesurvivingsister。Letussomehowhope,inhalfRedIndiancreed,thathefollowsEmilynow;and,whenherests,sleepsonsomesoftwhitebedofdreams,unpunishedwhenheawakenstothelifeofthelandofshadows。
Nowwecanunderstandtheforceofthewords,"Ourpoorlittlecatisdead。Emilyissorry。"
CHAPTERXIII
Themoorswereagreatresourcethisspring;EmilyandCharlottewalkedoutonthemperpetually,"tothegreatdamageofourshoes,butIhope,tothebenefitofourhealth。"Theoldplanofschool-keepingwasoftendiscussedintheserambles;butin-doorstheysetwithvigourtoshirt-makingfortheabsentBranwell,andponderedinsilenceovertheirpastandfuturelife。Atlasttheycametoadetermination。
"Ihaveseriouslyenteredintotheenterpriseofkeepingaschool——
orrather,takingalimitednumberofpupilsathome。Thatis,I
havebeguningoodearnesttoseekforpupils。IwrotetoMrs——"
theladywithwhomshehadlivedasgoverness,justbeforegoingtoBrussels,"notaskingherforherdaughter——Icannotdothat——
butinformingherofmyintention。IreceivedananswerfromMr——
expressiveof,Ibelieve,sincereregretthatIhadnotinformedthemamonthsooner,inwhichcase,hesaid,theywouldgladlyhavesentmetheirowndaughter,andalsoColonelS。’s,butthatnowbothwerepromisedtoMissC。Iwaspartlydisappointedbythisanswer,andpartlygratified;indeed,IderivedquiteanimpulseofencouragementfromthewarmassurancethatifIhadbutappliedalittlesoonertheywouldcertainlyhavesentmetheirdaughter。IownIhadmisgivingsthatnobodywouldbewillingtosendachildforeducationtoHaworth。Thesemisgivingsarepartlydoneawaywith。IhavewrittenalsotoMrs。B。,andhaveenclosedthediplomawhichM。HegergavemebeforeIleftBrussels。Ihavenotyetreceivedheranswer,butIwaitforitwithsomeanxiety。Idonotexpectthatshewillsendmeanyofherchildren,butifshewould,Idaresayshecouldrecommendmeotherpupils。Unfortunately,sheknowsusonlyveryslightly。AssoonasIcangetanassuranceofonlyONEpupil,Iwillhavecardsoftermsprinted,andwillcommencetherepairsnecessaryinthehouse。Iwishallthattobedonebeforewinter。IthinkoffixingtheboardandEnglisheducationat25L。perannum。"
Again,atalaterdate,July24th,inthesameyear,shewrites:-
"IamdrivingonwithmysmallmatteraswellasIcan。IhavewrittentoallthefriendsonwhomIhavetheslightestclaim,andtosomeonwhomIhavenoclaim;Mrs。B。,forexample。Onher,also,Ihaveactuallymadeboldtocall。Shewasexceedinglypolite;regrettedthatherchildrenwerealreadyatschoolatLiverpool;thoughttheundertakingamostpraiseworthyone,butfearedIshouldhavesomedifficultyinmakingitsucceedonaccountoftheSITUATION。SuchistheanswerIreceivefromalmosteveryone。ItellthemtheRETIREDSITUATIONis,insomepointsofview,anadvantage;thatwereitinthemidstofalargetownIcouldnotpretendtotakepupilsontermssomoderateMrs。
B。remarkedthatshethoughtthetermsverymoderate,butthat,asitis,nothavinghouse-renttopay,wecanofferthesameprivilegesofeducationthataretobehadinexpensiveseminaries,atlittlemorethanhalftheirprice;andasournumbermustbelimited,wecandevotealargeshareoftimeandpainstoeachpupil。Thankyoufortheveryprettylittlepurseyouhavesentme。Imaketoyouacuriousreturnintheshapeofhalfadozencardsofterms。Makesuchuseofthemasyourjudgmentshalldictate。YouwillseethatIhavefixedthesumat35L。,whichIthinkisthejustmedium,consideringadvantagesanddisadvantages。"
ThiswaswritteninJuly;August,September,andOctoberpassedaway,andnopupilsweretobeheardof。Dayafterday,therewasalittlehopefeltbythesistersuntilthepostcamein。ButHaworthvillagewaswildandlonely,andtheBrontesbutlittleknown,owingtotheirwantofconnections。Charlottewritesonthesubject,intheearlywintermonths,tothiseffect-
"I,Emily,andAnne,aretrulyobligedtoyoufortheeffortsyouhavemadeinourbehalf;andifyouhavenotbeensuccessful,youareonlylikeourselves。Everyonewishesuswell;buttherearenopupilstobehad。Wehavenopresentintention,however,ofbreakingourheartsonthesubject,stilllessoffeelingmortifiedatdefeat。Theeffortmustbebeneficial,whatevertheresultmaybe,becauseitteachesusexperience,andanadditionalknowledgeofthisworld。Isendyoutwomorecirculars。"
Amonthlater,shesays:-
"Wehavemadenoalterationsyetinourhouse。Itwouldbefollytodoso,whilethereissolittlelikelihoodofourevergettingpupils。Ifearyouaregivingyourselftoomuchtroubleonouraccount。Dependuponit,ifyouweretopersuadeamammatobringherchildtoHaworth,theaspectoftheplacewouldfrightenher,andshewouldprobablytakethedeargirlbackwithher,instanter。Wearegladthatwehavemadetheattempt,andwewillnotbecastdownbecauseithasnotsucceeded。"
Therewere,probably,growingupineachsister’sheart,secretunacknowledgedfeelingsofrelief,thattheirplanhadnotsucceeded。Yes!adullsenseofreliefthattheircherishedprojecthadbeentriedandhadfailed。Forthathouse,whichwastoberegardedasanoccasionalhomefortheirbrother,couldhardlybeafittingresidenceforthechildrenofstrangers。Theyhad,inalllikelihood,becomesilentlyawarethathishabitsweresuchastorenderhissocietyattimesmostundesirable。
Possibly,too,theyhad,bythistime,hearddistressingrumoursconcerningthecauseofthatremorseandagonyofmind,whichattimesmadehimrestlessandunnaturallymerry,attimesrenderedhimmoodyandirritable。
InJanuary,1845,Charlottesays:-"Branwellhasbeenquieterandlessirritable,onthewhole,thistimethanhewasinsummer。
Anneis,asusual,alwaysgood,mild,andpatient。"Thedeep-
seatedpainwhichhewastooccasiontohisrelationshadnowtakenadecidedform,andpressedheavilyonCharlotte’shealthandspirits。Earlyinthisyear,shewenttoH。tobidgood-byetoherdearfriend"Mary,"whowasleavingEnglandforAustralia。
Branwell,Ihavementioned,hadobtainedthesituationofaprivatetutor。Annewasalsoengagedasgovernessinthesamefamily,andwasthusamiserablewitnesstoherbrother’sdeteriorationofcharacteratthisperiod。OfthecausesofthisdeteriorationIcannotspeak;buttheconsequenceswerethese。Hewenthomeforhisholidaysreluctantly,stayedthereasshortatimeaspossible,perplexinganddistressingthemallbyhisextraordinaryconduct——atonetimeinthehighestspirits,atanother,inthedeepestdepression——accusinghimselfofblackestguiltandtreachery,withoutspecifyingwhattheywere;andaltogetherevincinganirritabilityofdispositionborderingoninsanity。
CharlotteandEmilysufferedacutelyfromhismysteriousbehaviour。Heexpressedhimselfmorethansatisfiedwithhissituation;hewasremaininginitforalongertimethanhehadeverdoneinanykindofemploymentbefore;sothatforsometimetheycouldnotconjecturethatanythingtheremadehimsowilful,andrestless,andfullofbothlevityandmisery。Butasenseofsomethingwrongconnectedwithhim,sickenedandoppressedthem。
Theybegantoloseallhopeinhisfuturecareer。Hewasnolongerthefamilypride;anindistinctdread,causedpartlybyhisownconduct,partlybyexpressionsofagonisingsuspicioninAnne’slettershome,wascreepingovertheirmindsthathemightturnouttheirdeepdisgrace。But,Ibelieve,theyshrankfromanyattempttodefinetheirfears,andspokeofhimtoeachotheraslittleaspossible。Theycouldnothelpbutthink,andmourn,andwonder。
"Feb。20th,1845。
"IspentaweekatH。,notverypleasantly;headache,sickliness,andflatnessofspirits,mademeapoorcompanion,asaddragonthevivaciousandloquaciousgaietyofalltheotherinmatesofthehouse。Ineverwasfortunateenoughtobeabletorally,forasmuchasasinglehour,whileIwasthere。Iamsureall,withtheexceptionperhapsofMary,wereverygladwhenItookmydeparture。IbegintoperceivethatIhavetoolittlelifeinme,now-a-days,tobefitcompanyforanyexceptveryquietpeople。
Isitage,orwhatelse,thatchangesmeso?"
Alas!shehardlyneededtohaveaskedthisquestion。Howcouldshebeotherwisethan"flat-spirited,""apoorcompanion,"anda"saddrag"onthegaietyofthosewhowerelight-heartedandhappy!Herhonestplanforearningherownlivelihoodhadfallenaway,crumbledtoashes;afterallherpreparations,notapupilhadofferedherself;and,insteadofbeingsorrythatthiswishofmanyyearscouldnotberealised,shehadreasontobeglad。Herpoorfather,nearlysightless,dependeduponhercaresinhisblindhelplessness;butthiswasasacredpiouscharge,thedutiesofwhichshewasblessedinfulfilling。Theblackgloomhungoverwhathadoncebeenthebrightesthopeofthefamily——overBranwell,andthemysteryinwhichhiswaywardconductwasenveloped。Somehowandsometime,hewouldhavetoturntohishomeasahidingplaceforshame;suchwasthesadforebodingofhissisters。Thenhowcouldshebecheerful,whenshewaslosingherdearandnoble"Mary,"forsuchalengthoftimeanddistanceofspacethatherheartmightwellprophesythatitwas"forever"?Longbefore,shehadwrittenofMaryT。,thatshe"wasfulloffeelingsnoble,warm,generous,devoted,andprofound。
Godblessher!Ineverhopetoseeinthisworldacharactermoretrulynoble。Shewoulddiewillinglyforonesheloved。Herintellectandattainmentsareoftheveryhigheststandard。"Andthiswasthefriendwhomshewastolose!Hearthatfriend’saccountoftheirfinalinterview:-
"WhenIlastsawCharlotteJan。1845,shetoldmeshehadquitedecidedtostayathome。Sheownedshedidnotlikeit。Herhealthwasweak。Shesaidsheshouldlikeanychangeatfirst,asshehadlikedBrusselsatfirst,andshethoughtthattheremustbesomepossibilityforsomepeopleofhavingalifeofmorevarietyandmorecommunionwithhumankind,butshesawnoneforher。Itoldherverywarmly,thatsheoughtnottostayathome;
thattospendthenextfiveyearsathome,insolitudeandweakhealth,wouldruinher;thatshewouldneverrecoverit。SuchadarkshadowcameoverherfacewhenIsaid,’Thinkofwhatyou’llbefiveyearshence!’thatIstopped,andsaid,’Don’tcry,Charlotte!’Shedidnotcry,butwentonwalkingupanddowntheroom,andsaidinalittlewhile,’ButIintendtostay,Polly。’"
AfewweeksaftershepartedfromMary,shegivesthisaccountofherdaysatHaworth。
"March24th,1845。
"IcanhardlytellyouhowtimegetsonatHaworth。Thereisnoeventwhatevertomarkitsprogress。Onedayresemblesanother;
andallhaveheavy,lifelessphysiognomies。Sunday,baking-day,andSaturday,aretheonlyonesthathaveanydistinctivemark。
Meantime,lifewearsaway。Ishallsoonbethirty;andIhavedonenothingyet。SometimesIgetmelancholyattheprospectbeforeandbehindme。Yetitiswrongandfoolishtorepine。
Undoubtedly,mydutydirectsmetostayathomeforthepresent。
TherewasatimewhenHaworthwasaverypleasantplacetome;itisnotsonow。Ifeelasifwewereallburiedhere。Ilongtotravel;towork;tolivealifeofaction。Excuseme,dear,fortroublingyouwithmyfruitlesswishes。Iwillputbytherest,andnottroubleyouwiththem。Youmustwritetome。Ifyouknewhowwelcomeyourlettersare,youwouldwriteveryoften。Yourletters,andtheFrenchnewspapers,aretheonlymessengersthatcometomefromtheouterworldbeyondourmoors;andverywelcomemessengerstheyare。"
Oneofherdailyemploymentswastoreadtoherfather,anditrequiredalittlegentlediplomacyonherparttoeffectthisduty;forthereweretimeswhentheofferofanothertodowhathehadbeensolongaccustomedtodoforhimself,onlyremindedhimtoopainfullyofthedeprivationunderwhichhewassuffering。
And,insecret,she,too,dreadedasimilarlossforherself。
Long-continuedillhealth,aderangedconditionoftheliver,hercloseapplicationtominutedrawingandwritinginheryoungerdays,hernowhabitualsleeplessnessatnights,themanybitternoiselesstearsshehadshedoverBranwell’smysteriousanddistressingconduct——allthesecausesweretellingonherpooreyes;andaboutthistimeshethuswritestoM。Heger:-
"Iln’yarienquejecrainscommeledesoeuvrement,l’inertie,lalethargiedesfacultes。Quandlecorpsestparesseuxl’espritsouffrecruellement;jeneconnaitraispascettelethargie,sijepouvaisecrire。Autrefoisjepassaisdesjournees,dessemaines,desmoisentierseecrire,etpastout-e-faitsansfruit,puisqueSoutheyetColeridge,deuxdenosmeilleursauteurs,equij’aienvoyecertainsmanuscrits,enontbienvoulutemoignerleurapprobation;maisepresent,j’ailavuetropfaible;sij’ecrivaisbeaueoupjedeviendraisaveugle。Cettefaiblessedevueestpourmoiuneterribleprivation;sanscela,savez-vouscequejeferais,Monsieur?J’ecriraisunlivreetjelededieraisemonmaitredelitterature,auseulmaitrequej’aiejamaiseu——evous,Monsieur!Jevousaiditsouventenfrancaiscombienjevousrespecte,combienjesuisredevableevotrebonte,evosconseils。Jevoudraisledireunefoisenanglais。Celanesepeutpas;ilnefautpasypenser。Lacarrieredeslettresm’estfermee……N’oubliezpasdemedirecommentvousvousportez,commentMadameetlesenfantsseportent。Jecomptebientotavoirdevosnouvelles;cetteideemesouris,carlesouvenirdevosbontesnes’effacerajamaisdemamemoire,ettantquecesouvenirdurera,lerespectquevousm’avezinspiredureraaussi。Agreez,Monsieur,"&c。
Itisprobable,thatevenhersistersandmostintimatefriendsdidnotknowofthisdreadofultimateblindnesswhichbesetheratthisperiod。Whateyesightshehadtospareshereservedfortheuseofherfather。Shedidbutlittleplain-sewing;notmorewritingthancouldbeavoided,andemployedherselfprincipallyinknitting。
"April2nd,1845。
"Iseeplainlyitisprovedtousthatthereisscarcelyadraughtofunmingledhappinesstobehadinthisworld-’sillnesscomeswith-’smarriage。MaryT。findsherselffree,andonthatpathtoadventureandexertiontowhichshehassolongbeenseekingadmission。Sickness,hardship,dangerareherfellowtravellers——
herinseparablecompanions。ShemayhavebeenoutofthereachoftheseS。W。N。W。gales,beforetheybegantoblow,ortheymayhavespenttheirfuryonland,andnotruffledtheseamuch。Ifithasbeenotherwise,shehasbeensorelytossed,whilewehavebeensleepinginourbeds,orlyingawakethinkingabouther。Yetthesereal,materialdangers,whenoncepast,leaveinthemindthesatisfactionofhavingstruggledwithdifficulty,andovercomeit。Strength,courage,andexperiencearetheirinvariableresults;whereas,Idoubtwhethersufferingpurelymentalhasanygoodresult,unlessitbetomakeusbycomparisonlesssensitivetophysicalsuffering……Tenyearsago,Ishouldhavelaughedatyouraccountoftheblunderyoumadeinmistakingthebachelordoctorforamarriedman。Ishouldhavecertainlythoughtyouscrupulousover-much,andwonderedhowyoucouldpossiblyregretbeingciviltoadecentindividual,merelybecausehehappenedtobesingle,insteadofdouble。Now,however,Icanperceivethatyourscruplesarefoundedoncommonsense。Iknowthatifwomenwishtoescapethestigmaofhusband-seeking,theymustactandlooklikemarbleorclay——cold,expressionless,bloodless;foreveryappearanceoffeeling,ofjoy,sorrow,friendliness,antipathy,admiration,disgust,arealikeconstruedbytheworldintotheattempttohookahusband。Nevermind!well-meaningwomenhavetheirownconsciencestocomfortthemafterall。Donot,therefore,betoomuchafraidofshowingyourselfasyouare,affectionateandgood-hearted;donottooharshlyrepresssentimentsandfeelingsexcellentinthemselves,becauseyoufearthatsomepuppymayfancythatyouarelettingthemcomeouttofascinatehim;donotcondemnyourselftoliveonlybyhalves,becauseifyoushowedtoomuchanimationsomepragmaticalthinginbreechesmighttakeitintohispatetoimaginethatyoudesignedtodedicateyourlifetohisinanity。Still,acomposed,decent,equabledeportmentisacapitaltreasuretoawoman,andthatyoupossess。Writeagainsoon,forIfeelratherfierce,andwantstrokingdown。"
"June13th,1845。
"AstotheMrs-,who,yousay,islikeme,Isomehowfeelnoleaningtoheratall。Ineverdotopeoplewhoaresaidtobelikeme,becauseIhavealwaysanotionthattheyareonlylikemeinthedisagreeable,outside,first-acquaintancepartofmycharacter;inthosepointswhichareobvioustotheordinaryrunofpeople,andwhichIknowarenotpleasing。Yousaysheis’clever’——’acleverperson。’HowIdisliketheterm!Itmeansratherashrewd,veryugly,meddling,talkingwoman……Ifeelreluctanttoleavepapaforasingleday。Hissightdiminishesweekly;andcanitbewonderedatthat,asheseesthemostpreciousofhisfacultiesleavinghim,hisspiritssometimessink?
Itissohardtofeelthathisfewandscantypleasuresmustallsoongo。Hehasnowthegreatestdifficultyineitherreadingorwriting;andthenhedreadsthestateofdependencetowhichblindnesswillinevitablyreducehim。Hefearsthathewillbenothinginhisparish。Itrytocheerhim;sometimesIsucceedtemporarily,butnoconsolationcanrestorehissight,oratoneforthewantofit。Stillheisneverpeevish;neverimpatient;
onlyanxiousanddejected。"
Forthereasonjustgiven,Charlottedeclinedaninvitationtotheonlyhousetowhichshewasnoweveraskedtocome。Inanswertohercorrespondent’sreplytothisletter,shesays:-
"YouthoughtIrefusedyoucoldly,didyou?Itwasaqueersortofcoldness,whenIwouldhavegivenmyearstosayYes,andwasobligedtosayNo。Matters,however,arenowalittlechanged。
Anneiscomehome,andherpresencecertainlymakesmefeelmoreatliberty。Then,ifallbewell,Iwillcomeandseeyou。TellmeonlywhenImustcome。Mentiontheweekandtheday。Havethekindnessalsotoanswerthefollowingqueries,ifyoucan。HowfarisitfromLeedstoSheffield?Canyougivemeanotionofthecost?Ofcourse,whenIcome,youwillletmeenjoyyourowncompanyinpeace,andnotdragmeoutavisiting。Ihavenodesireatalltoseeyourcurate。IthinkhemustbelikealltheothercuratesIhaveseen;andtheyseemtomeaself-seeking,vain,emptyrace。Atthisblessedmoment,wehavenolessthanthreeoftheminHaworthparish——andthereisnotonetomendanother。Theotherday,theyallthree,accompaniedbyMr。S。,dropped,orratherrushed,inunexpectedlytotea。ItwasMondaybakingday,andIwashotandtired;still,iftheyhadbehavedquietlyanddecently,Iwouldhaveservedthemouttheirteainpeace;buttheybeganglorifyingthemselves,andabusingDissentersinsuchamanner,thatmytemperlostitsbalance,andIpronouncedafewsentencessharplyandrapidly,whichstruckthemalldumb。Papawasgreatlyhorrifiedalso,butIdon’tregretit。"
Onherreturnfromthisshortvisittoherfriend,shetravelledwithagentlemanintherailwaycarriage,whosefeaturesandbearingbetrayedhim,inamoment,tobeaFrenchman。Sheventuredtoaskhimifsuchwasnotthecase;and,onhisadmittingit,shefurtherinquiredifhehadnotpassedaconsiderabletimeinGermany,andwasansweredthathehad;herquickeardetectedsomethingofthethickgutturalpronunciation,which,Frenchmensay,theyareabletodiscovereveninthegrandchildrenoftheircountrymenwhohavelivedanytimebeyondtheRhine。CharlottehadretainedherskillinthelanguagebythehabitofwhichshethusspeakstoM。Heger:-
"Jecrainsbeaucoupd’oublierlefrancais——j’apprendstouslesjoursunedemiepagedefrancaisparcoeur,etj’aigrandplaisireapprendrecettelecon,VeuillezpresentereMadamel’assurancedemonestime;jecrainsqueMaria-LouiseetClairenem’aientdejeoubliees;maisjevousreverraiunjour;aussitotquej’auraisgagneassezd’argentpouraltereBruxelles,j’yirai。"
AndsoherjourneybacktoHaworth,aftertherarepleasureofthisvisittoherfriend,waspleasantlybeguiledbyconversationwiththeFrenchgentleman;andshearrivedathomerefreshedandhappy。Whattofindthere?
Itwasteno’clockwhenshereachedtheparsonage。Branwellwasthere,unexpectedly,veryill。Hehadcomehomeadayortwobefore,apparentlyforaholiday;inreality,Iimagine,becausesomediscoveryhadbeenmadewhichrenderedhisabsenceimperativelydesirable。ThedayofCharlotte’sreturn,hehadreceivedaletterfromMr-,sternlydismissinghim,intimatingthathisproceedingswerediscovered,characterisingthemasbadbeyondexpression,andcharginghim,onpainofexposure,tobreakoffimmediately,andforever,allcommunicationwitheverymemberofthefamily。
WhatevermayhavebeenthenatureanddepthofBranwell’ssins,——
whatevermayhavebeenhistemptation,whateverhisguilt,——thereisnodoubtofthesufferingwhichhisconductentaileduponhispoorfatherandhisinnocentsisters。Thehopesandplanstheyhadcherishedlong,andlabouredhardtofulfil,werecruellyfrustrated;henceforwardtheirdayswereembitteredandthenaturalrestoftheirnightsdestroyedbyhisparoxysmsofremorse。LetusreadofthemiserycausedtohispoorsistersinCharlotte’sownaffectingwords:-
"WehavehadsadworkwithBranwell。Hethoughtofnothingbutstunningordrowninghisagonyofmind。Nooneinthishousecouldhaverest;and,atlast,wehavebeenobligedtosendhimfromhomeforaweek,withsomeonetolookafterhim。Hehaswrittentomethismorning,expressingsomesenseofcontrition……butaslongasheremainsathome,Iscarcedarehopeforpeaceinthehouse。Wemustall,Ifear,prepareforaseasonofdistressanddisquietude。WhenIleftyou,IwasstronglyimpressedwiththefeelingthatIwasgoingbacktosorrow。"
"August,1845。
"Thingshereathomearemuchasusual;notverybrightasitregardsBranwell,thoughhishealth,andconsequentlyhistemper,havebeensomewhatbetterthislastdayortwo,becauseheisnowFORCEDTOabstain。"
"August18th,1845。
"Ihavedelayedwriting,becauseIhavenogoodnewstocommunicate。MyhopesebblowindeedaboutBranwell。Isometimesfearhewillneverbefitformuch。Thelateblowtohisprospectsandfeelingshasquitemadehimreckless。Itisonlyabsolutewantofmeansthatactsasanychecktohim。Oneought,indeed,tohopetotheverylast;andItrytodoso,butoccasionallyhopeinhiscaseseemssofallacious。"
"Nov。4th,1845。
"IhopedtobeabletoaskyoutocometoHaworth。ItalmostseemedasifBranwellhadachanceofgettingemployment,andI
waitedtoknowtheresultofhiseffortsinordertosay,dear-,comeandseeus。Buttheplaceasecretaryshiptoarailwaycommitteeisgiventoanotherperson。Branwellstillremainsathome;andwhileHEishere,YOUshallnotcome。IammoreconfirmedinthatresolutionthemoreIseeofhim。IwishI
couldsayonewordtoyouinhisfavour,butIcannot。Iwillholdmytongue。WeareallobligedtoyouforyourkindsuggestionaboutLeeds;butIthinkourschoolschemesare,forthepresent,atrest。"
"Dec。31st,1845。
"Yousaywell,inspeakingof-,thatnosufferingsaresoawfulasthosebroughtonbydissipation;alas!Iseethetruthofthisobservationdailyproved——and——musthaveaswearyandburdensomealifeofitinwaitingupontheirunhappybrother。Itseemsgrievous,indeed,thatthosewhohavenotsinnedshouldsuffersolargely。"
Infact,alltheirlatterdaysblightedwiththepresenceofcruel,shamefulsuffering,——theprematuredeathsoftwoatleastofthesisters,——allthegreatpossibilitiesoftheirearthlylivessnappedshort,——maybedatedfromMidsummer1845。
ForthelastthreeyearsofBranwell’slife,hetookopiumhabitually,bywayofstunningconscience;hedrankmoreover,wheneverhecouldgettheopportunity。ThereadermaysaythatI
havementionedhistendencytointemperancelongbefore。Itistrue;butitdidnotbecomehabitual,asfarasIcanlearn,untilafterhewasdismissedfromhistutorship。Hetookopium,becauseitmadehimforgetforatimemoreeffectuallythandrink;and,besides,itwasmoreportable。Inprocuringitheshowedallthecunningoftheopium-eater。Hewouldstealoutwhilethefamilywereatchurch——towhichhehadprofessedhimselftooilltogo——
andmanagetocajolethevillagedruggistoutofalump;or,itmightbe,thecarrierhadunsuspiciouslybroughthimsomeinapacketfromadistance。Forsometimebeforehisdeathhehadattacksofdeliriumtremensofthemostfrightfulcharacter;hesleptinhisfather’sroom,andhewouldsometimesdeclarethateitherheorhisfathershouldbedeadbeforethemorning。Thetremblingsisters,sickwithfright,wouldimploretheirfathernottoexposehimselftothisdanger;butMr。Bronteisnotimidman,andperhapshefeltthathecouldpossiblyinfluencehissontosomeself-restraint,morebyshowingtrustinhimthanbyshowingfear。Thesistersoftenlistenedforthereportofapistolinthedeadofthenight,tillwatchfuleyeandhearkeningeargrewheavyanddullwiththeperpetualstrainupontheirnerves。InthemorningsyoungBrontewouldsaunterout,saying,withadrunkard’sincontinenceofspeech,"ThepooroldmanandI
havehadaterriblenightofit;hedoeshisbest——thepooroldman!butit’salloverwithme。"
CHAPTERXIV
Inthecourseofthissadautumnof1845,anewinterestcameup;
faint,indeed,andoftenlostsightofinthevividpainandconstantpressureofanxietyrespectingtheirbrother。Inthebiographicalnoticeofhersisters,whichCharlotteprefixedtotheeditionof"WutheringHeights"and"AgnesGrey,"publishedin1850——apieceofwritingunique,asfarasIknow,initspathosanditspower——shesays:-
"Onedayintheautumnof1845,IaccidentallylightedonaMS。
volumeofverse,inmysisterEmily’shand-writing。Ofcourse,I
wasnotsurprised,knowingthatshecouldanddidwriteverse:I
lookeditover,andsomethingmorethansurpriseseizedme——adeepconvictionthatthesewerenotcommoneffusions,noratalllikethepoetrywomengenerallywrite。Ithoughtthemcondensedandterse,vigorousandgenuine。Tomyeartheyhadalsoapeculiarmusic,wild,melancholy,andelevating。MysisterEmilywasnotapersonofdemonstrativecharacter,noroneontherecessesofwhosemindandfeelingseventhosenearestanddearesttohercould,withimpunity,intrudeunlicensed:ittookhourstoreconcilehertothediscoveryIhadmade,anddaystopersuadeherthatsuchpoemsmeritedpublication……Meantime,myyoungersisterquietlyproducedsomeofherowncompositions,intimatingthatsinceEmily’shadgivenmepleasure,Imightliketolookathers。Icouldnotbutbeapartialjudge,yetIthoughtthattheseversestoohadasweetsincerepathosoftheirown。Wehadveryearlycherishedthedreamofonedaybeingauthors。Weagreedtoarrangeasmallselectionofourpoems,and,ifpossible,getthemprinted。Aversetopersonalpublicity,weveiledourownnamesunderthoseofCurrer,Ellis,andActonBell;
theambiguouschoicebeingdictatedbyasortofconscientiousscrupleatassumingChristiannames,positivelymasculine,whilewedidnotliketodeclareourselveswomen,because——withoutatthetimesuspectingthatourmodeofwritingandthinkingwasnotwhatiscalled’feminine,’wehadavagueimpressionthatauthoressesareliabletobelookedonwithprejudice;wenoticedhowcriticssometimesusefortheirchastisementtheweaponofpersonality,andfortheirreward,aflattery,whichisnottruepraise。Thebringingoutofourlittlebookwashardwork。Aswastobeexpected,neitherwenorourpoemswereatallwanted;
butforthiswehadbeenpreparedattheoutset;thoughinexperiencedourselves,wehadreadtheexperienceofothers。
Thegreatpuzzlelayinthedifficultyofgettinganswersofanykindfromthepublisherstowhomweapplied。Beinggreatlyharassedbythisobstacle,IventuredtoapplytotheMessrs。
Chambers,ofEdinburgh,forawordofadvice;THEYmayhaveforgottenthecircumstance,butIhavenot,forfromthemI
receivedabriefandbusiness-like,butcivilandsensiblereply,onwhichweacted,andatlastmadeway。"
IinquiredfromMr。RobertChambers,andfound,asMissBronteconjectured,thathehadentirelyforgottentheapplicationwhichhadbeenmadetohimandhisbrotherforadvice;norhadtheyanycopyormemorandumofthecorrespondence。
ThereisanintelligentmanlivinginHaworth,whohasgivenmesomeinterestingparticularsrelatingtothesistersaboutthisperiod。Hesays:-
"IhaveknownMissBronte,asMissBronte,alongtime;indeed,eversincetheycametoHaworthin1819。ButIhadnotmuchacquaintancewiththefamilytillabout1843,whenIbegantodoalittleinthestationeryline。NothingofthatkindcouldbehadnearerthanKeighleybeforeIbegan。Theyusedtobuyagreatdealofwritingpaper,andIusedtowonderwhatevertheydidwithsomuch。IsometimesthoughttheycontributedtotheMagazines。
WhenIwasoutofstock,Iwasalwaysafraidoftheircoming;theyseemedsodistressedaboutit,ifIhadnone。IhavewalkedtoHalifaxadistanceoftenmilesmanyatime,forhalfareamofpaper,forfearofbeingwithoutitwhentheycame。Icouldnotbuymoreatatimeforwantofcapital。Iwasalwaysshortofthat。IdidsolikethemtocomewhenIhadanythingforthem;
theyweresomuchdifferenttoanybodyelse;sogentleandkind,andsoveryquiet。Theynevertalkedmuch。Charlottesometimeswouldsitandinquireaboutourcircumstancessokindlyandfeelingly!……ThoughIamapoorworkingmanwhichIhaveneverfelttobeanydegradation,Icouldtalkwithherwiththegreatestfreedom。Ialwaysfeltquiteathomewithher。ThoughI
neverhadanyschooleducation,Ineverfeltthewantofitinhercompany。"
Thepublisherstowhomshefinallymadeasuccessfulapplicationfortheproductionof"Currer,Ellis,andActonBell’spoems,"
wereMessrs。AylottandJones,PaternosterRow。Mr。Aylotthaskindlyplacedtheletterswhichshewrotetothemonthesubjectatmydisposal。ThefirstisdatedJanuary28th,1846,andinitsheinquiresiftheywillpublishonevolumeoctavoofpoems;ifnotattheirownrisk,ontheauthor’saccount。Itissigned"C。
Bronte。"Theymusthaverepliedprettyspeedily,foronJanuary31stshewritesagain:-
"GENTLEMEN,"SinceyouagreetoundertakethepublicationoftheworkrespectingwhichIappliedtoyou,Ishouldwishnowtoknow,assoonaspossible,thecostofpaperandprinting。Iwillthensendthenecessaryremittance,togetherwiththemanuscript。I
shouldlikeittobeprintedinoneoctavovolume,ofthesamequalityofpaperandsizeoftypeasMoxon’slasteditionofWordsworth。Thepoemswilloccupy,Ishouldthink,from200to250pages。Theyarenottheproductionofaclergyman,noraretheyexclusivelyofareligiouscharacter;butIpresumethesecircumstanceswillbeimmaterial。Itwill,perhaps,benecessarythatyoushouldseethemanuscript,inordertocalculateaccuratelytheexpenseofpublication;inthatcaseIwillsenditimmediately。Ishouldlike,however,previously,tohavesomeideaoftheprobablecost;andif,fromwhatIhavesaid,youcanmakearoughcalculationonthesubject,Ishouldbegreatlyobligedtoyou。"
Inhernextletter,February6th,shesays:-
"Youwillperceivethatthepoemsaretheworkofthreepersons,relatives——theirseparatepiecesaredistinguishedbytheirrespectivesignatures。"
ShewritesagainonFebruary15th;andonthe16thshesays:-
"TheMS。willcertainlyformathinnervolumethanIhadanticipated。IcannotnameanothermodelwhichIshouldlikeitpreciselytoresemble,yet,Ithink,aduodecimoform,andasomewhatreduced,thoughstillCLEARtype,wouldbepreferable。I
onlystipulateforCLEARtype,nottoosmall,andgoodpaper。"
OnFebruary21stsheselectsthe"longprimertype"forthepoems,andwillremit31L。10S。inafewdays。
Minuteasthedetailsconveyedinthesenotesare,theyarenottrivial,becausetheyaffordsuchstrongindicationsofcharacter。
Ifthevolumewastobepublishedattheirownrisk,itwasnecessarythatthesisterconductingthenegotiationshouldmakeherselfacquaintedwiththedifferentkindsoftype,andthevarioussizesofbooks。Accordinglysheboughtasmallvolume,fromwhichtolearnallshecouldonthesubjectofpreparationforthepress。Nohalf-knowledge——notrustingtootherpeoplefordecisionswhichshecouldmakeforherself;andyetagenerousandfullconfidence,notmisplaced,inthethoroughprobityofMessrs。
AylottandJones。Thecautioninascertainingtheriskbeforeembarkingintheenterprise,andthepromptpaymentofthemoneyrequired,evenbeforeitcouldbesaidtohaveassumedtheshapeofadebt,werebothpartsofaself-reliantandindependentcharacter。Self-containedalsowasshe。Duringthewholetimethatthevolumeofpoemswasinthecourseofpreparationandpublication,nowordwaswrittentellinganyone,outofthehouseholdcircle,whatwasinprogress。
Ihavehadsomeofthelettersplacedinmyhands,whichsheaddressedtoheroldschool-mistress,MissW。Theybeginalittlebeforethistime。Actingontheconviction,whichIhaveallalongentertained,thatwhereCharlotteBronte’sownwordscouldbeused,noothersoughttotaketheirplace,Ishallmakeextractsfromthisseries,accordingtotheirdates。
"Jan。30th,1846。
"MYDEARMISSW-,"Ihavenotyetpaidmyvisitto-;itis,indeed,morethanayearsinceIwasthere,butIfrequentlyhearfromE。,andshedidnotfailtotellmethatyouweregoneintoWorcestershire;shewasunable,however,togivemeyourexactaddress。HadIknownit,Ishouldhavewrittentoyoulongsince。Ithoughtyouwouldwonderhowweweregettingon,whenyouheardoftherailwaypanic;andyoumaybesurethatIamverygladtobeabletoansweryourkindinquiriesbytheassurancethatoursmallcapitalisasyetundiminished。TheYorkandMidlandis,asyousay,averygoodline,yet,Iconfesstoyou,Ishouldwish,formyownpart,tobewiseintime。Icannotthinkthateventheverybestlineswillcontinueformanyyearsattheirpresentpremiums;andIhavebeenmostanxiousforustoselloursharesereitbetoolate,andtosecuretheproceedsinsomesafer,if,forthepresent,lessprofitableinvestment。Icannot,however,persuademysisterstoregardtheaffairpreciselyfrommypointofview;
andIfeelasifIwouldratherruntheriskoflossthanhurtEmily’sfeelingsbyactingindirectoppositiontoheropinion。
Shemanagedinamosthandsomeandablemannerforme,whenIwasinBrussels,andpreventedbydistancefromlookingaftermyowninterests;therefore,Iwilllethermanagestill,andtaketheconsequences。Disinterestedandenergeticshecertainlyis;andifshebenotquitesotractableoropentoconvictionasIcouldwish,Imustrememberperfectionisnotthelotofhumanity;andaslongaswecanregardthosewelove,andtowhomwearecloselyallied,withprofoundandnever-shakenesteem,itisasmallthingthattheyshouldvexusoccasionallybywhatappeartousunreasonableandheadstrongnotions。
"You,mydearMissW-,know,fullaswellasIdo,thevalueofsisters’affectiontoeachother;thereisnothinglikeitinthisworld,Ibelieve,whentheyarenearlyequalinage,andsimilarineducation,tastes,andsentiments。YouaskaboutBranwell;heneverthinksofseekingemployment,andIbegintofearthathehasrenderedhimselfincapableoffillinganyrespectablestationinlife;besides,ifmoneywereathisdisposal,hewoulduseitonlytohisowninjury;thefacultyofself-governmentis,Ifear,almostdestroyedinhim。YouaskmeifIdonotthinkthatmenarestrangebeings?Ido,indeed。Ihaveoftenthoughtso;andI
think,too,thatthemodeofbringingthemupisstrange:theyarenotsufficientlyguardedfromtemptation。Girlsareprotectedasiftheyweresomethingveryfrailorsillyindeed,whileboysareturnedlooseontheworld,asifthey,ofallbeingsinexistence,werethewisestandleastliabletobeledastray。I
amgladyoulikeBroomsgrove,though,Idaresay,therearefewplacesyouwouldNOTlike,withMrs。M。foracompanion。IalwaysfeelapeculiarsatisfactionwhenIhearofyourenjoyingyourself,becauseitprovesthattherereallyissuchathingasretributivejusticeeveninthisworld。Youworkedhard;youdeniedyourselfallpleasure,almostallrelaxation,inyouryouth,andintheprimeoflife;nowyouarefree,andthatwhileyouhavestill,Ihope,manyyearsofvigourandhealthinwhichyoucanenjoyfreedom。Besides,Ihaveanotherandveryegotisticalmotiveforbeingpleased;itseemsthateven’alonewoman’canbehappy,aswellascherishedwivesandproudmothers。
Iamgladofthat。Ispeculatemuchontheexistenceofunmarriedandnever-to-be-marriedwomennow-a-days;andIhavealreadygottothepointofconsideringthatthereisnomorerespectablecharacteronthisearththananunmarriedwoman,whomakesherownwaythroughlifequietly,perseveringly,withoutsupportofhusbandorbrother;andwho,havingattainedtheageofforty-fiveorupwards,retainsinherpossessionawell-regulatedmind,adispositiontoenjoysimplepleasures,andfortitudetosupportinevitablypains,sympathywiththesufferingsofothers,andwillingnesstorelievewantasfarashermeansextend。"
DuringthetimethatthenegotiationwithMessrs。AylottandCo。
wasgoingon,Charlottewenttovisitheroldschool-friend,withwhomshewasinsuchhabitsofconfidentialintimacy;butneitherthennorafterwards,didsheeverspeaktoherofthepublicationofthepoems;nevertheless,thisyoungladysuspectedthatthesisterswroteforMagazines;andinthisideashewasconfirmedwhen,ononeofhervisitstoHaworth,shesawAnnewithanumberof"Chambers’sJournal,"andagentlesmileofpleasurestealingoverherplacidfaceassheread。
"Whatisthematter?"askedthefriend。"Whydoyousmile?"
"OnlybecauseIseetheyhaveinsertedoneofmypoems,"wasthequietreply;andnotawordmorewassaidonthesubject。
TothisfriendCharlotteaddressedthefollowingletters:-
"March3rd,1846。
"Ireachedhomealittleaftertwoo’clock,allsafeandrightyesterday;Ifoundpapaverywell;hissightmuchthesame。EmilyandAnneweregoingtoKeighleytomeetme;unfortunately,Ihadreturnedbytheoldroad,whiletheyweregonebythenew,andwemissedeachother。Theydidnotgethometillhalf-pastfour,andwerecaughtintheheavyshowerofrainwhichfellintheafternoon。IamsorrytosayAnnehastakenalittlecoldinconsequence,butIhopeshewillsoonbewell。PapawasmuchcheeredbymyreportofMr。C。’sopinion,andofoldMrs。E。’sexperience;butIcouldperceivehecaughtgladlyattheideaofdeferringtheoperationafewmonthslonger。IwentintotheroomwhereBranwellwas,tospeaktohim,aboutanhourafterIgothome:itwasveryforcedworktoaddresshim。Imighthavesparedmyselfthetrouble,ashetooknonotice,andmadenoreply;hewasstupified。Myfearswerenotinvain。IhearthathegotasovereignwhileIhavebeenaway,underpretenceofpayingapressingdebt;hewentimmediatelyandchangeditatapublic-house,andhasemployeditaswastobeexpected——
concludedheraccountbysayinghewasa’hopelessbeing;’itistootrue。Inhispresentstateitisscarcelypossibletostayintheroomwhereheis。WhatthefuturehasinstoreIdonotknow。"
"March31st,1846。
"OurpooroldservantTabbyhadasortoffit,afortnightsince,butisnearlyrecoverednow。Martha"thegirltheyhadtoassistpooroldTabby,andwhoremainsstillthefaithfulservantattheparsonage,"isillwithaswellinginherknee,andobligedtogohome。Ifearitwillbelongbeforesheisinworkingconditionagain。Ireceivedthenumberofthe’Record’yousent……I
readD’Aubigne’sletter。Itisclever,andinwhathesaysaboutCatholicismverygood。TheEvangelicalAlliancepartisnotverypracticable,yetcertainlyitismoreinaccordancewiththespiritoftheGospeltopreachunityamongChristiansthantoinculcatemutualintoleranceandhatred。IamverygladIwentto——whenIdid,forthechangedweatherhassomewhatchangedmyhealthandstrengthsince。Howdoyougeton?Ilongformildsouthandwestwinds。Iamthankfulpapacontinuesprettywell,thoughoftenmadeverymiserablebyBranwell’swretchedconduct。
THERE——thereisnochangebutfortheworse。"
Meanwhiletheprintingofthevolumeofpoemswasquietlyproceeding。Aftersomeconsultationanddeliberation,thesistershaddeterminedtocorrecttheproofsthemselves,UptoMarch28ththepublishershadaddressedtheircorrespondentasC。Bronte,Esq。;butatthistimesome"littlemistakeoccurred,"andshedesiredMessrs。AylottandCo。infuturetodirecttoherrealaddress,"MISSBronte,"&c。Shehad,however,evidentlyleftittobeimpliedthatshewasnotactingonherownbehalf,butasagentfortherealauthors,sinceinanotedatedApril6th,shemakesaproposalonbehalfof"C。,E。,andA。Bell,"whichistothefollowingeffect,thattheyarepreparingforthepressaworkoffiction,consistingofthreedistinctandunconnectedtales,whichmaybepublishedeithertogether,asaworkofthreevolumes,oftheordinarynovelsize,orseparately,assinglevolumes,asmaybedeemedmostadvisable。Shestates,inaddition,thatitisnottheirintentiontopublishthesetalesontheirownaccount;butthattheauthorsdirecthertoaskMessrs。
AylottandCo。whethertheywouldbedisposedtoundertakethework,afterhaving,ofcourse,bydueinspectionoftheMS。,ascertainedthatitscontentsaresuchastowarrantanexpectationofsuccess。Tothisletterofinquirythepublishersrepliedspeedily,andthetenoroftheiranswermaybegatheredfromCharlotte’s,datedApril11th。
"Ibegtothankyou,inthenameofC。,E。,andA。Bell,foryourobligingofferofadvice。Iwillavailmyselfofit,torequestinformationontwoorthreepoints。Itisevidentthatunknownauthorshavegreatdifficultiestocontendwith,beforetheycansucceedinbringingtheirworksbeforethepublic。Canyougivemeanyhintastothewayinwhichthesedifficultiesarebestmet?Forinstance,inthepresentcase,whereaworkoffictionisinquestion,inwhatformwouldapublisherbemostlikelytoaccepttheMS。?Whetherofferedasaworkofthreevols。,orastaleswhichmightbepublishedinnumbers,orascontributionstoaperiodical?
"Whatpublisherswouldbemostlikelytoreceivefavourablyaproposalofthisnature?
"WoulditsufficetoWRITEtoapublisheronthesubject,orwoulditbenecessarytohaverecoursetoapersonalinterview?
"Youropinionandadviceonthesethreepoints,oronanyotherwhichyourexperiencemaysuggestasimportant,wouldbeesteemedbyusasafavour。"
Itisevidentfromthewholetenorofthiscorrespondence,thatthetruthfulnessandprobityofthefirmofpublisherswithwhomshehadtodealinthisherfirstliteraryventure,werestronglyimpresseduponhermind,andwasfollowedbytheinevitableconsequenceofrelianceontheirsuggestions。Andtheprogressofthepoemswasnotunreasonablylengthyorlongdrawnout。OnApril20thshewritestodesirethatthreecopiesmaybesenttoher,andthatMessrs。Aylottwilladviseherastothereviewerstowhomcopiesoughttobesent。
Igivethenextletterasillustratingtheideasofthesegirlsastowhatperiodicalreviewsornoticesledpublicopinion。
"Thepoemstobeneatlydoneupincloth。Havethegoodnesstosendcopiesandadvertisements,ASEARLYASPOSSIBLE,toeachoftheundermentionedperiodicals。
"’Colburn’sNewMonthlyMagazine。’
"’Bentley’sMagazine。’
"’Hood’sMagazine。’
"’Jerrold’sShillingMagazine。’
"’Blackwood’sMagazine。’
"’TheEdinburghReview。’
"’Tait’sEdinburghMagazine。’
"’TheDublinUniversityMagazine。’
"Alsotothe’DailyNews’andtothe’Britannia’papers。
"Ifthereareanyotherperiodicalstowhichyouhavebeeninthehabitofsendingcopiesofworks,letthembesuppliedalsowithcopies。IthinkthoseIhavementionedwillsufficeforadvertising。"
Incompliancewiththislatterrequest,Messrs。Aylottsuggestthatcopiesandadvertisementsoftheworkshouldbesenttothe"Athenaeum,""LiteraryGazette,""Critic,"and"Times;"butinherreplyMissBrontesays,thatshethinkstheperiodicalsshefirstmentionedwillbesufficientforadvertisinginatpresent,astheauthorsdonotwishtolayoutalargersumthantwopoundsinadvertising,esteemingthesuccessofaworkdependentmoreonthenoticeitreceivesfromperiodicalsthanonthequantityofadvertisements。Incaseofanynoticeofthepoemsappearing,whetherfavourableorotherwise,Messrs。AylottandCo。arerequestedtosendherthenameandnumberofthoseperiodicalsinwhichsuchnoticesappear;asotherwise,sinceshehasnottheopportunityofseeingperiodicalsregularly,shemaymissreadingthecritique。"Shouldthepoemsberemarkeduponfavourably,itismyintentiontoappropriateafurthersumforadvertisements。
If,ontheotherhand,theyshouldpassunnoticedorbecondemned,Iconsideritwouldbequiteuselesstoadvertise,asthereisnothing,eitherinthetitleofthework,orthenamesoftheauthors,toattractattentionfromasingleindividual。"
IsupposethelittlevolumeofpoemswaspublishedsometimeabouttheendofMay,1846。Itstoleintolife;someweekspassedover,withoutthemightymurmuringpublicdiscoveringthatthreemorevoiceswereutteringtheirspeech。And,meanwhile,thecourseofexistencemoveddrearilyalongfromdaytodaywiththeanxioussisters,whomusthaveforgottentheirsenseofauthorshipinthevitalcaregnawingattheirhearts。OnJune17th,Charlottewrites:-
"Branwelldeclaresthatheneithercannorwilldoanythingforhimself;goodsituationshavebeenofferedhim,forwhich,byafortnight’swork,hemighthavequalifiedhimself,buthewilldonothingexceptdrinkandmakeusallwretched。"
Inthe"Athenaeum"ofJuly4th,undertheheadofpoetryforthemillion,cameashortreviewofthepoemsofC。,E。,andA。Bell。
ThereviewerassignstoEllisthehighestrankofthethree"brothers,"ashesupposesthemtobe;hecallsEllis"afine,quaintspirit;"andspeaksof"anevidentpowerofwingthatmayreachheightsnothereattempted。"Again,withsomedegreeofpenetration,thereviewersays,thatthepoemsofEllis"conveyanimpressionoforiginalitybeyondwhathiscontributionstothesevolumesembody。"CurrerisplacedmidwaybetweenEllisandActon。
Butthereislittleinthereviewtostrainout,atthisdistanceoftime,asworthpreserving。Still,wecanfancywithwhatinterestitwasreadatHaworthParsonage,andhowthesisterswouldendeavourtofindoutreasonsforopinions,orhintsforthefutureguidanceoftheirtalents。
IcallparticularattentiontothefollowingletterofCharlotte’s,datedJuly10th,1846。Towhomitwaswritten,mattersnot;butthewholesomesenseofdutyinit——thesenseofthesupremacyofthatdutywhichGod,inplacingusinfamilies,haslaidoutforus,seemstodeserveespecialregardinthesedays。
"Iseeyouareinadilemma,andoneofapeculiaranddifficultnature。Twopathsliebeforeyou;youconscientiouslywishtochoosetherightone,eventhoughitbethemoststeep,strait,andrugged;butyoudonotknowwhichistherightone;youcannotdecidewhetherdutyandreligioncommandyoutogooutintothecoldandfriendlessworld,andtheretoearnyourlivingbygovernessdrudgery,orwhethertheyenjoinyourcontinuedstaywithyouragedmother,neglecting,FORTHEPRESENT,everyprospectofindependencyforyourself,andputtingupwithdailyinconvenience,sometimesevenwithprivations。Icanwellimagine,thatitisnexttoimpossibleforyoutodecideforyourselfinthismatter,soIwilldecideitforyou。Atleast,I
willtellyouwhatismyearnestconvictiononthesubject;Iwillshowyoucandidlyhowthequestionstrikesme。Therightpathisthatwhichnecessitatesthegreatestsacrificeofself-interest——
whichimpliesthegreatestgoodtoothers;andthispath,steadilyfollowed,willlead,Ibelieve,intime,toprosperityandtohappiness,thoughitmayseem,attheoutset,totendquiteinacontrarydirection。Yourmotherisbotholdandinfirm;oldandinfirmpeoplehavebutfewsourcesofhappiness——feweralmostthanthecomparativelyyoungandhealthycanconceive;todeprivethemofoneoftheseiscruel。Ifyourmotherismorecomposedwhenyouarewithher,staywithher。Ifshewouldbeunhappyincaseyoulefther,staywithher。Itwillnotapparently,asfarasshort-sightedhumanitycansee,beforyouradvantagetoremainat-,norwillyoubepraisedandadmiredforremainingathometocomfortyourmother;yet,probably,yourownconsciencewillapprove,andifitdoes,staywithher。IrecommendyoutodowhatIamtryingtodomyself。"
Theremainderofthisletterisonlyinterestingtothereaderasitconveysaperemptorydisclaimerofthereportthatthewriterwasengagedtobemarriedtoherfather’scurate——theverysamegentlemantowhom,eightyearsafterwards,shewasunited;andwho,probably,evennow,althoughshewasunconsciousofthefact,hadbegunhisservicetoher,inthesametenderandfaithfulspiritasthatinwhichJacobservedforRachel。Othersmayhavenoticedthis,thoughshedidnot。
Afewmorenotesremainofhercorrespondence"onbehalfoftheMessrs。Bell"withMr。Aylott。OnJuly15thshesays,"Isuppose,asyouhavenotwritten,noothernoticeshaveyetappeared,norhasthedemandfortheworkincreased。WillyoufavourmewithalinestatingwhetherANY,orhowmanycopieshaveyetbeensold?"
Butfew,Ifear;for,threedayslater,shewrotethefollowing:-
"TheMessrs。Belldesiremetothankyouforyoursuggestionrespectingtheadvertisements。Theyagreewithyouthat,sincetheseasonisunfavourable,advertisinghadbetterbedeferred。
Theyareobligedtoyoufortheinformationrespectingthenumberofcopiessold。"
OnJuly23rdshewritestotheMessrs。Aylott:-
"TheMessrs。BellwouldbeobligedtoyoutoposttheenclosednoteinLondon。Itisananswertotheletteryouforwarded,whichcontainedanapplicationfortheirautographsfromapersonwhoprofessedtohavereadandadmiredtheirpoems。IthinkI
beforeintimated,thattheMessrs。Bellaredesirousforthepresentofremainingunknown,forwhichreasontheypreferhavingthenotepostedinLondontosendingitdirect,inordertoavoidgivinganycluetoresidence,oridentitybypost-mark,&c。"
Oncemore,inSeptember,shewrites,"Astheworkhasreceivednofurthernoticefromanyperiodical,Ipresumethedemandforithasnotgreatlyincreased。"
Inthebiographicalnoticeofhersisters,shethusspeaksofthefailureofthemodesthopesvestedinthispublication。"Thebookwasprinted;itisscarcelyknown,andallofitthatmeritstobeknownarethepoemsofEllisBell。
"ThefixedconvictionIheld,andhold,oftheworthofthesepoems,hasnot,indeed,receivedtheconfirmationofmuchfavourablecriticism;butImustretainitnotwithstanding。"
Footnotes:
{1}Areviewerpointedoutthediscrepancybetweentheagetwenty-sevenyearsassigned,onthemuraltablet,toAnneBronteatthetimeofherdeathin1849,andtheallegedfactthatshewasbornatThornton,fromwhichplaceMr。BronteremovedonFebruary25th,1820。Iwasawareofthediscrepancy,butIdidnotthinkitofsufficientconsequencetoberectifiedbyanexaminationoftheregisterofbirths。Mr。Bronte’sownwords,onwhichIgroundedmystatementastothetimeofAnneBronte’sbirth,areasfollows:-
"InThornton,Charlotte,PatrickBranwell,EmilyJane,andAnnewereborn。"AndsuchoftheinhabitantsofHaworthashavespokenonthesubjectsaythatallthechildrenofMr。andMrs。BrontewerebornbeforetheyremovedtoHaworth。Thereisprobablysomemistakeintheinscriptiononthetablet。
{2}InthemonthofApril1858,aneatmuraltabletwaserectedwithintheCommunionrailingoftheChurchatHaworth,tothememoryofthedeceasedmembersoftheBrontefamily。ThetabletisofwhiteCarraramarbleonagroundofdove-colouredmarble,withacornicesurmountedbyanornamentalpedimentofchastedesign。Betweenthebracketswhichsupportthetablet,isinscribedthesacredmonogramI。H。S。,inoldEnglishletters。
{3}Withregardtomyownopinionofthepresentschool,Icanonlygiveitasformedafterwhatwasmerelyacursoryandsuperficialinspection,asIdonotbelievethatIwasinthehouseabovehalfanhour;butitwasandisthis,——thatthehouseatCastertonseemedthoroughlyhealthyandwellkept,andissituatedinalovelyspot;thatthepupilslookedbright,happy,andwell,andthattheladysuperintendentwasamostprepossessinglookingperson,who,onmymakingsomeinquiryastotheaccomplishmentstaughttothepupils,saidthattheschemeofeducationwasmateriallychangedsincetheschoolhadbeenopened。
Iwouldhaveinsertedthistestimonyinthefirstedition,hadI
believedthatanyweightcouldbeattachedtoanopinionformedonsuchslightandsuperficialgrounds。
{4}"JaneEyre,"vol。I。,page20。
{5}Scottdescribesthesport,"ShootingatthePopinjay,""asanancientgameformerlypractisedwitharchery,butatthisperiod1679withfirearms。Thiswasthefigureofabirddeckedwithparti-colouredfeathers,soastoresembleapopinjayorparrot。
Itwassuspendedtoapole,andservedforamarkatwhichthecompetitorsdischargedtheirfuseesandcarbinesinrotation,atthedistanceofseventypaces。HewhoseballbroughtdownthemarkheldtheproudtitleofCaptainofthePopinjayfortheremainderoftheday,andwasusuallyescortedintriumphtothemostrespectablechange-houseintheneighbourhood,wheretheeveningwasclosedwithconviviality,conductedunderhisauspices,andifhewasabletomaintainit,athisexpense。"——OldMortality。
{6}InthisGutenbergeTextM。Heger’scommentsaregivenin{}
atapproximatelytheplacewheretheyoccur——DP。
EndTheLifeofCharlotteBronte-Volume2
byElizabethClaghornGaskellCONTENTSOFVOLUMETWO