"Ihavenodesiretooffendyou,ortoactharshlytowardyou,"herladyshipbegan,veryquietly。"Ionlysuggestthatyourvisitstomyhousecannotpossiblyleadtoanysatisfactoryresult。Ihopeyouwillnotobligemetosayanyharderwordsthanthese——IhopeyouwillunderstandthatIwishyoutowithdraw。"
Theorderofdismissalcouldhardlyhavebeenissuedwithmorehumaneconsiderationforthesupposedmentalinfirmityofthepersontowhomitwasaddressed。Graceinstantlyresisteditintheplainestpossibleterms。
"Injusticetomyfather'smemoryandinjusticetomyself,"sheanswered,"Iinsistonahearing。Irefusetowithdraw。"Shedeliberatelytookachairandseatedherselfinthepresenceofthemistressofthehouse。
LadyJanetwaitedamoment——steadilycontrollinghertemper。IntheintervalofsilenceJulianseizedtheopportunityofremonstratingwithGrace。
"Isthiswhatyoupromisedme?"heasked,gently。"YougavemeyourwordthatyouwouldnotreturntoMablethorpeHouse。"
BeforehecouldsaymoreLadyJanethadgothertemperundercommand。ShebeganheranswertoGracebypointingwithaperemptoryforefingertothelibrarydoor。
"IfyouhavenotmadeupyourmindtotakemyadvicebythetimeIhavewalkedbacktothatdoor,"shesaid,"Iwillputitoutofyourpowertosetmeatdefiance。Iamusedtobeobeyed,andIwillbeobeyed。Youforcemetousehardwords。Iwarnyoubeforeitistoolate。Go!"
Shereturnedslowlytowardthelibrary。Julianattemptedtointerferewithanotherwordofremonstrance。Hisauntstoppedhimbyagesturewhichsaid,plainly,"Iinsistonactingformyself。"HelookednextatMercy。Wouldsheremainpassive?Yes。Sheneverliftedherhead;shenevermovedfromtheplaceinwhichshewasstandingapartfromtherest。Horacehimselftriedtoattractherattention,andtriedinvain。
Arrivedatthelibrarydoor,LadyJanetlookedoverhershoulderatthelittleimmovableblackfigureinthechair。
"Willyougo?"sheasked,forthelasttime。
Gracestartedupangrilyfromherseat,andfixedherviperisheyesonMercy。
"Iwon'tbeturnedoutofyourladyship'shouseinthepresenceofthatimpostor,"shesaid。"Imayyieldtoforce,butIwillyieldtonothingelse。Iinsistonmyrighttotheplacethatshehasstolenfromme。It'snousescoldingme,"sheadded,turningdoggedlytoJulian。"AslongasthatwomanishereundermynameIcan'tandwon'tkeepawayfromthehouse。Iwarnher,inyourpresence,thatIhavewrittentomyfriendsinCanada!Idareherbeforeyoualltodenythatsheistheoutcastandadventuress,MercyMerrick!"
ThechallengeforcedMercytotakepartintheproceedingsinherowndefense。ShehadpledgedherselftomeetanddefyGraceRoseberryonherownground。Sheattemptedtospeak——Horacestoppedher。
"Youdegradeyourselfifyouanswerher,"hesaid。"Takemyarm,andletusleavetheroom。"
"Yes!Takeherout!"criedGrace。"Shemaywellbeashamedtofaceanhonestwoman。It'sherplacetoleavetheroom——notmine!"
MercydrewherhandoutofHorace'sarm。"Ideclinetoleavetheroom,"shesaid,quietly。
Horacestilltriedtopersuadehertowithdraw。"Ican'tbeartohearyouinsulted,"herejoined。"Thewomanoffendsme,thoughIknowsheisnotresponsibleforwhatshesays。"
"Nobody'sendurancewillbetriedmuchlonger,"saidLadyJanet。SheglancedatJulian,andtakingfromherpocketthecardwhichhehadgiventoher,openedthelibrarydoor。
"Gotothepolicestation,"shesaidtotheservantinanundertone,"andgivethatcardtotheinspectoronduty。Tellhimthereisnotamomenttolose。"
"Stop!"saidJulian,beforehisauntcouldclosethedooragain。
"Stop?"repeatedLadyJanet,sharply。"Ihavegiventhemanhisorders。Whatdoyoumean?"
"BeforeyousendthecardIwishtosayawordinprivatetothislady,"repliedJulian,indicatingGrace。"Whenthatisdone,"hecontinued,approachingMercy,andpointedlyaddressinghimselftoher,"Ishallhavearequesttomake——Ishallaskyoutogivemeanopportunityofspeakingtoyouwithoutinterruption。"
Histonepointedtheallusion。Mercyshrankfromlookingathim。Thesignsofpainfulagitationbegantoshowthemselvesinhershiftingcolorandheruneasysilence。RousedbyJulian'ssignificantlydistantreferencetowhathadpassedbetweenthem,herbetterimpulseswerestrugglingalreadytorecovertheirinfluenceoverher。Shemight,atthatcriticalmoment,haveyieldedtothepromptingsofherownnoblernature——shemighthaverisensuperiortothegallingremembranceoftheinsultsthathadbeenheapeduponher——ifGrace'smalicehadnotseeninherhesitationameansofreferringoffensivelyonceagaintoherinterviewwithJulianGray。
"Praydon'tthinktwiceabouttrustinghimalonewithme,"shesaid,withasardonicaffectationofpoliteness。"IamnotinterestedinmakingaconquestofMr。JulianGray。"
ThejealousdistrustinHoracealreadyawakenedbyJulian'srequestnowattemptedtoassertitselfopenly。Beforehecouldspeak,Mercy'sindignationhaddictatedMercy'sanswer。
"Iammuchobligedtoyou,Mr。Gray,"shesaid,addressingJulianbutstillnotraisinghereyestohis。"Ihavenothingmoretosay。Thereisnoneedformetotroubleyouagain。"
Inthoserashwordssherecalledtheconfessiontowhichshestoodpledged。Inthoserashwordsshecommittedherselftokeepingthepositionthatshehadusurped,inthefaceofthewomanwhomshehaddeprivedofit!
Horacewassilenced,butnotsatisfied。HesawJulian'seyesfixedinsadandsearchingattentiononMercy'sfacewhileshewasspeaking。HeheardJuliansightohimselfwhenshehaddone。HeobservedJulian——afteramoment'sseriousconsideration,andamoment'sglancebackwardatthestrangerinthepoorblackclothes——lifthisheadwiththeairofamanwhohadtakenasuddenresolution。
"Bringmethatcarddirectly,"hesaidtotheservant。Histoneannouncedthathewasnottobetrifledwith。Themanobeyed。
WithoutansweringLadyJanet——whostillperemptorilyinsistedonherrighttoactforherself——Juliantookthepencilfromhispocketbookandaddedhissignaturetothewritingalreadyinscribedonthecard。Whenhehadhandeditbacktotheservanthemadehisapologiestohisaunt。
"Pardonmeforventuringtointerfere,"hesaid"ThereisaseriousreasonforwhatIhavedone,whichIwillexplaintoyouatafittertime。InthemeanwhileIoffernofurtherobstructiontothecoursewhichyouproposetaking。Onthecontrary,Ihavejustassistedyouingainingtheendthatyouhaveinview。"
Ashesaidthatheheldupthepencilwithwhichhehadsignedhisname。
LadyJanet,naturallyperplexed,andwithsomereason,perhapsoffendedaswell,madenoanswer。Shewavedherhandtotheservant,andsenthimawaywiththecard。
Therewassilenceintheroom。TheeyesofallthepersonspresentturnedmoreorlessanxiouslyonJulian。Mercywasvaguelysurprisedandalarmed。Horace,likeLadyJanet,feltoffended,withoutclearlyknowingwhy。EvenGraceRoseberryherselfwassubduedbyherownpresentimentofsomecominginterferenceforwhichshewascompletelyunprepared。Julian'swordsandactions,fromthemomentwhenhehadwrittenonthecard,wereinvolvedinamysterytowhichnotoneofthepersonsroundhimheldtheclew。
Themotivewhichhadanimatedhisconductmay,nevertheless,bedescribedintwowords:JulianstillheldtohisfaithintheinbrednobilityofMercy'snature。
Hehadinferred,withlittledifficulty,fromthelanguagewhichGracehadusedtowardMercyinhispresence,thattheinjuredwomanmusthavetakenpitilessadvantageofherpositionattheinterviewwhichhehadinterrupted。InsteadofappealingtoMercy'ssympathiesandMercy'ssenseofright——insteadofacceptingtheexpressionofhersincerecontrition,andencouraginghertomakethecompletestandthespeediestatonement——Gracehadevidentlyoutragedandinsultedher。Asanecessaryresult,herendurancehadgivenway——underherownsenseofintolerableseverityandintolerablewrong。
Theremedyforthemischiefthusdonewas,asJulianhadfirstseenit,tospeakprivatelywithGrace,tosootheherbyowningthathisopinionofthejusticeofherclaimshadundergoneachangeinherfavor,andthentopersuadeher,inherowninterests,tolethimcarrytoMercysuchexpressionsofapologyandregretasmightleadtoafriendlyunderstandingbetweenthem。
Withthosemotives,hehadmadehisrequesttobepermittedtospeakseparatelytotheoneandtheother。Thescenethathadfollowed,thenewinsultofferedbyGrace,andtheanswerwhichithadwrungfromMercy,hadconvincedhimthatnosuchinterferenceashehadcontemplatedwouldhavetheslightestprospectofsuccess。
Theonlyremedynowlefttotrywasthedesperateremedyoflettingthingstaketheircourse,andtrustingimplicitlytoMercy'sbetternaturefortheresult。
Letherseethepoliceofficerinplainclothesentertheroom。Letherunderstandclearlywhattheresultofhisinterferencewouldbe。LetherconfrontthealternativeofconsigningGraceRoseberrytoamad-houseorofconfessingthetruth——andwhatwouldhappen?IfJulian'sconfidenceinherwasaconfidencesoundlyplaced,shewouldnoblypardontheoutragesthathadbeenheapeduponher,andshewoulddojusticetothewomanwhomshehadwronged。
If,ontheotherhand,hisbeliefinherwasnothingbetterthantheblindbeliefofaninfatuatedman——ifshefacedthealternativeandpersistedinassertingherassumedidentity——whatthen?
Julian'sfaithinMercyrefusedtoletthatdarkersideofthequestionfindaplaceinhisthoughts。Itrestedentirelywithhimtobringtheofficerintothehouse。HehadpreventedLadyJanetfrommakinganymischievoususeofhiscardbysendingtothepolicestationandwarningthemtoattendtonomessagewhichtheymightreceiveunlessthecardproducedborehissignature。Knowingtheresponsibilitythathewastakingonhimself——knowingthatMercyhadmadenoconfessiontohimtowhichitwaspossibletoappeal——hehadsignedhisnamewithoutaninstant'shesitation:andtherehestoodnow,lookingatthewomanwhosebetternaturehewasdeterminedtovindicate,theonlycalmpersonintheroom。
Horace'sjealousysawsomethingsuspiciouslysuggestiveofaprivateunderstandinginJulian'searnestattentionandinMercy'sdowncastface。Havingnoexcuseforopeninterference,hemadeanefforttopartthem。
"Youspokejustnow,"hesaidtoJulian,"ofwishingtosayawordinprivatetothatperson。"HepointedtoGrace。"Shallweretire,orwillyoutakeherintothelibrary?"
"Irefusetohaveanythingtosaytohim,"Graceburstout,beforeJuliancouldanswer。"Ihappentoknowthatheisthelastpersontodomejustice。Hehasbeeneffectuallyhoodwinked。IfIspeaktoanybodyprivately,itoughttobetoyou。Youhavethegreatestinterestofanyoftheminfindingoutthetruth。"
"Whatdoyoumean?"
"Doyouwanttomarryanoutcastfromthestreets?"
Horacetookonestepforwardtowardher。Therewasalookinhisfacewhichplainlybetrayedthathewascapableofturningheroutofthehousewithhisownhands。LadyJanetstoppedhim。
"YouwererightinsuggestingjustnowthatGracehadbetterleavetheroom,"shesaid。"Letusallthreego。Julianwillremainhereandgivethemanhisdirectionswhenhearrives。Come。"
No。ByastrangecontradictionitwasHoracehimselfwhonowinterferedtopreventMercyfromleavingtheroom。Intheheatofhisindignationhelostallsenseofhisowndignity;hedescendedtothelevelofawomanwhoseintellecthebelievedtobederanged。Tothesurpriseofeveryonepresent,hesteppedbackandtookfromthetableajewel-casewhichhehadplacedtherewhenhecameintotheroom。Itwastheweddingpresentfromhismotherwhichhehadbroughttohisbetrothedwife。Hisoutragedself-esteemseizedtheopportunityofvindicatingMercybyapublicbestowalofthegift。
"Wait!"hecalledout,sternly。"Thatwretchshallhaveheranswer。Shehassenseenoughtoseeandsenseenoughtohear。Letherseeandhear!"
Heopenedthejewel-case,andtookfromitamagnificentpearlnecklaceinanantiquesetting。
"Grace,"hesaid,withhishighestdistinctionofmanner,"mymothersendsyouherloveandhercongratulationsonourapproachingmarriage。Shebegsyoutoaccept,aspartofyourbridaldress,thesepearls。Shewasmarriedinthemherself。Theyhavebeeninourfamilyforcenturies。Asoneofthefamily,honoredandbeloved,mymotheroffersthemtomywife。"
HeliftedthenecklacetoclaspitroundMercy'sneck。
Julianwatchedherinbreathlesssuspense。WouldshesustaintheordealthroughwhichHoracehadinnocentlycondemnedhertopass?
Yes!IntheinsolentpresenceofGraceRoseberry,whatwastherenowthatshecouldnotsustain?Herpridewasinarms。Herlovelyeyeslightedupasonlyawoman'seyescanlightupwhentheyseejewelry。Hergrandheadbentgracefullytoreceivethenecklace。Herfacewarmedintocolor;herbeautyrallieditscharms。HertriumphoverGraceRoseberrywascomplete!Julian'sheadsank。Foronesadmomenthesecretlyaskedhimselfthequestion:"HaveIbeenmistakeninher?"
Horacearrayedherinthepearls。
"Yourhusbandputsthesepearlsonyourneck,love,"hesaid,proudly,andpausedtolookather。"Now,"headded,withacontemptuousbackwardglanceatGrace,"wemaygointothelibrary。Shehasseen,andshehasheard。"
Hebelievedthathehadsilencedher。Hehadsimplyfurnishedhersharptonguewithanewsting。
"Youwillhear,andyouwillsee,whenmyproofscomefromCanada,"sheretorted。"Youwillhearthatyourwifehasstolenmynameandmycharacter!Youwillseeyourwifedismissedfromthishouse!"
Mercyturnedonherwithanuncontrollableoutburstofpassion。
"Youaremad!"shecried。
LadyJanetcaughttheelectricinfectionofangerintheairoftheroom。She,too,turnedonGrace。She,too,saidit:
"Youaremad!"
HoracefollowedLadyJanet。Hewasbesidehimself。HefixedhispitilesseyesonGrace,andechoedthecontagiouswords:
"Youaremad!"
Shewassilenced,shewasdauntedatlast。Thetrebleaccusationrevealedtoher,forthefirsttime,thefrightfulsuspiciontowhichshehadexposedherself。Sheshrankbackwithalowcryofhorror,andstruckagainstachair。ShewouldhavefallenifJulianhadnotsprungforwardandcaughther。
LadyJanetledthewayintothelibrary。Sheopenedthedoor——started——andsuddenlysteppedaside,soastoleavetheentrancefree。
Amanappearedintheopendoorway。
Hewasnotagentleman;hewasnotaworkman;hewasnotaservant。Hewasvilelydressed,inglossyblackbroadcloth。Hisfrockcoathungonhiminsteadoffittinghim。Hiswaistcoatwastooshortandtootightoverthechest。Histrouserswereapairofshapelessblackbags。Hisglovesweretoolargeforhim。Hishighly-polishedbootscreakeddetestablywheneverhemoved。Hehadodiouslywatchfuleyes——eyesthatlookedskilledinpeepingthroughkey-holes。Hislargeears,setforwardliketheearsofamonkey,pleadedguiltytomeanlylisteningbehindotherpeople'sdoors。Hismannerwasquietlyconfidentialwhenhespoke,impenetrablyself-possessedwhenhewassilent。Alurkingairofsecretserviceenvelopedthefellow,likeanatmosphereofhisown,fromheadtofoot。Helookedallroundthemagnificentroomwithoutbetrayingeithersurpriseoradmiration。Hecloselyinvestigatedeverypersoninitwithoneglanceofhiscunninglywatchfuleyes。MakinghisbowtoLadyJanet,hesilentlyshowedher,ashisintroduction,thecardthathadsummonedhim。Andthenhestoodatease,self-revealedinhisownsinisteridentity——apoliceofficerinplainclothes。
Nobodyspoketohim。Everybodyshrankinwardlyasifareptilehadcrawledintotheroom。
Helookedbackwardandforward,perfectlyunembarrassed,betweenJulianandHorace。
"IsMr。JulianGrayhere?"heasked。
JulianledGracetoaseat。Hereyeswerefixedontheman。Shetrembled——shewhispered,"Whoishe?"Julianspoketothepoliceofficerwithoutansweringher。
"Waitthere,"hesaid,pointingtoachairinthemostdistantcorneroftheroom。"Iwillspeaktoyoudirectly。"
Themanadvancedtothechair,marchingtothediscordofhiscreakingboots。Heprivatelyvaluedthecarpetatsomuchayardashewalkedoverit。Heprivatelyvaluedthechairatsomuchthedozenashesatdownonit。Hewasquiteathisease:itwasnomattertohimwhetherhewaitedanddidnothing,orwhetherhepriedintotheprivatecharacterofeveryoneintheroom,aslongashewaspaidforit。
EvenLadyJanet'sresolutiontoactforherselfwasnotproofagainsttheappearanceofthepolicemaninplainclothes。Sheleftittohernephewtotakethelead。JulianglancedatMercybeforehestirredfurtherinthematter。Healoneknewthattheendrestednownotwithhimbutwithher。
Shefelthiseyeonherwhileherowneyeswerelookingattheman。Sheturnedherhead——hesitated——andsuddenlyapproachedJulian。LikeGraceRoseberry,shewastrembling。LikeGraceRoseberry,shewhispered,"Whoishe?"
Juliantoldherplainlywhohewas。
"Whyishehere?"
"Can'tyouguess?"
"No!"
HoraceleftLadyJanet,andjoinedMercyandJulian——impatientoftheprivatecolloquybetweenthem。
"AmIintheway?"heinquired。
Juliandrewbackalittle,understandingHoraceperfectly。HelookedroundatGrace。Nearlythewholelengthofthespaciousroomdividedthemfromtheplaceinwhichshewassitting。Shehadnevermovedsincehehadplacedherinachair。Thedirestofallterrorswasinpossessionofher——terroroftheunknown。Therewasnofearofherinterfering,andnofearofherhearingwhattheysaidsolongastheywerecarefultospeakinguardedtones。Juliansettheexamplebyloweringhisvoice。
"AskHoracewhythepoliceofficerishere?"hesaidtoMercy。
Sheputthequestiondirectly。"Whyishehere?"
HoracelookedacrosstheroomatGrace,andanswered,"Heisheretorelieveusofthatwoman。"
"Doyoumeanthathewilltakeheraway?"
"Yes。"
"Wherewillhetakeherto?"
"Tothepolicestation。"
Mercystarted,andlookedatJulian。Hewasstillwatchingtheslightestchangesinherface。ShelookedbackagainatHorace。
"Tothepolicestation!"sherepeated。"Whatfor?"
"Howcanyouaskthequestion?"saidHorace,irritably。"Tobeplacedunderrestraint,ofcourse。"
"Doyoumeanprison?"
"Imeananasylum。"
AgainMercyturnedtoJulian。Therewashorrornow,aswellassurprise,inherface。"Oh!"shesaidtohim,"Horaceissurelywrong?Itcan'tbe?"
JulianleftittoHoracetoanswer。EveryfacilityinhimseemedtobestillabsorbedinwatchingMercy'sface。ShewascompelledtoaddressherselftoHoraceoncemore。
"Whatsortofasylum?"sheasked。"Youdon'tsurelymeanamadhouse?"
"Ido,"herejoined。"Theworkhousefirst,perhaps——andthenthemadhouse。Whatistheretosurpriseyouinthat?Youyourselftoldhertoherfaceshewasmad。GoodHeavens!howpaleyouare!Whatisthematter?"
SheturnedtoJulianforthethirdtime。Theterriblealternativethatwasofferedtoherhadshoweditselfatlast,withoutreserveordisguise。Restoretheidentitythatyouhavestolen,orshutherupinamadhouse——itrestswithyoutochoose!Inthatformthesituationshapeditselfinhermind。Shechoseontheinstant。BeforesheopenedherlipsthehighernatureinherspoketoJulian,inhereyes。Thesteadyinnerlightthathehadseeninthemoncealreadyshoneinthemagain,brighterandpurerthanbefore。Theconsciencethathehadfortified,thesoulthathehadsaved,lookedathimandsaid,Doubtusnomore!
"Sendthatmanoutofthehouse。"
Thosewereherfirstwords。Shespokepointingtothepoliceofficerinclear,ringing,resolutetones,audibleintheremotestcorneroftheroom。
Julian'shandstoleunobservedtohers,andtoldher,initsmomentarypressure,tocountonhisbrotherlysympathyandhelp。Alltheotherpersonsintheroomlookedatherinspeechlesssurprise。Gracerosefromherchair。Eventhemaninplainclothesstartedtohisfeet。LadyJanethurriedlyjoiningHorace,andfullysharinghisperplexityandalarmtookMercyimpulsivelybythearm,andshookit,asiftorousehertoasenseofwhatshewasdoing。Mercyheldfirm;Mercyresolutelyrepeatedwhatshehadsaid:"Sendthatmanoutofthehouse。"
LadyJanetlostallherpatiencewithher。"Whathascometoyou?"sheasked,sternly。"Doyouknowwhatyouaresaying?Themanishereinyourinterest,aswellasinmine;themanisheretospareyou,aswellasme,furtherannoyanceandinsult。Andyouinsist——insist,inmypresence——onhisbeingsentaway!Whatdoesitmean?"
"Youshallknowwhatitmeans,LadyJanet,inhalfanhour。Idon'tinsist——Ionlyreiteratemyentreaty。Letthemanbesentaway。"
Juliansteppedasidewithhisaunt'seyesangrilyfollowinghimandspoketothepoliceofficer。"Gobacktothestation,"hesaid,"andwaittheretillyouhearfromme。"
ThemeanlyvigilanteyesofthemaninplainclothestraveledsidelongfromJuliantoMercy,andvaluedherbeautyastheyhadvaluedthecarpetandthechairs。"Theoldstory,"hethought。"Thenice-lookingwomanisalwaysatthebottomofit;and,soonerorlater,thenice-lookingwomanhasherway。"Hemarchedbackacrosstheroom,tothediscordofhisowncreakingboots,bowed,withavillainoussmilewhichputtheworstconstructiononeverything,andvanishedthroughthelibrarydoor。
LadyJanet'shighbreedingrestrainedherfromsayinganythinguntilthepoliceofficerwasoutofhearing。Then,andnottillthen,sheappealedtoJulian。
"Ipresumeyouareinthesecretofthis?"shesaid。"Isupposeyouhavesomereasonforsettingmyauthorityatdefianceinmyownhouse?"
"Ihaveneveryetfailedtorespectyourladyship,"Juliananswered。"BeforelongyouwillknowthatIamnotfailinginrespecttowardyounow。"
LadyJanetlookedacrosstheroom。Gracewaslisteningeagerly,consciousthateventshadtakensomemysteriousturninherfavorwithinthelastminute。
"Isitpartofyournewarrangementofmyaffairs,"herladyshipcontinued,"thatthispersonistoremaininthehouse?"
TheterrorthathaddauntedGracehadnotlostallholdofheryet。SheleftittoJuliantoreply。BeforehecouldspeakMercycrossedtheroomandwhisperedtoher,"Givemetimetoconfessitinwriting。Ican'townitbeforethem——withthisroundmyneck。"Shepointedtothenecklace。Gracecastathreateningglanceather,andsuddenlylookedawayagaininsilence。
MercyansweredLadyJanet'squestion。"Ibegyourladyshiptopermithertoremainuntilthehalfhourisover,"shesaid。"Myrequestwillhaveexplaineditselfbythattime。"
LadyJanetraisednofurtherobstacles。ForsomethinginMercy'sface,orinMercy'stone,seemedtohavesilencedher,asithadsilencedGrace。Horacewasthenextwhospoke。IntonesofsuppressedrageandsuspicionheaddressedhimselftoMercy,standingfrontinghimbyJulian'sside。
"AmIincluded,"heasked,"inthearrangementwhichengagesyoutoexplainyourextraordinaryconductinhalfanhour?"
Hishandhadplacedhismother'sweddingpresentroundMercy'sneck。AsharppangwrungherasshelookedatHorace,andsawhowdeeplyshehadalreadydistressedandoffendedhim。Thetearsroseinhereyes;shehumblyandfaintlyansweredhim。
"Ifyouplease,"wasallshecouldsay,beforethecruelswellingatherheartroseandsilencedher。
Horace'ssenseofinjuryrefusedtobesoothedbysuchsimplesubmissionasthis。
"Idislikemysteriesandinnuendoes,"hewenton,harshly。"Inmyfamilycircleweareaccustomedtomeeteachotherfrankly。WhyamItowaithalfanhourforanexplanationwhichmightbegivennow?WhatamItowaitfor?"
LadyJanetrecoveredherselfasHoracespoke。
"Ientirelyagreewithyou,"shesaid。"Iask,too,whatarewetowaitfor?"
EvenJulian'sself-possessionfailedhimwhenhisauntrepeatedthatcruellyplainquestion。HowwouldMercyanswerit?Wouldhercouragestillholdout?
"Youhaveaskedmewhatyouaretowaitfor,"shesaidtoHorace,quietlyandfirmly。"WaittohearsomethingmoreofMercyMerrick"
LadyJanetlistenedwithalookofwearydisgust。
"Don'treturntothat!"shesaid。"WeknowenoughaboutMercyMerrickalready。"
"Pardonme——yourladyshipdoesnotknow。Iamtheonlypersonwhocaninformyou。"
"You?"
Shebentherheadrespectfully。
"Ihavebeggedyou,LadyJanet,togivemehalfanhour,"shewenton。"InhalfanhourIsolemnlyengagemyselftoproduceMercyMerrickinthisroom。LadyJanetRoy,Mr。HoraceHolmcroft,youaretowaitforthat。"
Steadilypledgingherselfinthosetermstomakeherconfession,sheunclaspedthepearlsfromherneck,putthemawayintheircasesandplaceditinHorace'shand。"Keepit,"shesaid,withamomentaryfalteringinhervoice,"untilwemeetagain。"
Horacetookthecaseinsilence;helookedandactedlikeamanwhosemindwasparalyzedbysurprise。Hishandmovedmechanically。HiseyesfollowedMercywithavacant,questioninglook。LadyJanetseemed,inherdifferentway,tosharethestrangeoppressionthathadfallenonhim。Avaguesenseofdreadanddistresshunglikeacloudoverhermind。Atthatmemorablemomentshefeltherage,shelookedherage,asshehadneverfeltitorlookedityet。
"HaveIyourladyship'sleave,"saidMercy,respectfully,"togotomyroom?"
LadyJanetmutelygrantedtherequest。Mercy'slastlook,beforeshewentout,wasalookatGrace。"Areyousatisfiednow?"thegrandgrayeyesseemedtosay,mournfully。Graceturnedherheadaside,withaquick,petulantaction。Evenhernarrownatureopenedforamomentunwillingly,andletpityinalittleway,inspiteofitself。
Mercy'spartingwordsrecommendedGracetoJulian'scare:
"Youwillseethatsheisallowedaroomtowaitin?Youwillwarnheryourselfwhenthehalfhourhasexpired?"
Julianopenedthelibrarydoorforher。
"Welldone!Noblydone!"hewhispered。"Allmysympathyiswithyou——allmyhelpisyours。"
Hereyeslookedathim,andthankedhim,throughhergatheringtears。Hisowneyesweredimmed。Shepassedquietlydowntheroom,andwaslosttohimbeforehehadshutthedooragain。
[NextChapter]
[TableofContents]TheNewMagdalen,Chapter21CHAPTERXXI。
THEFOOTSTEPINTHECORRIDOR。
MERCYwasalone。
Shehadsecuredonehalfhourofretirementinherownroom,designingtodevotethatintervaltothewritingofherconfession,intheformofaletteraddressedtoJulianGray。
Norecentchangeinherpositionhad,asyet,mitigatedherhorrorofacknowledgingtoHoraceandtoLadyJanetthatshehadwonherwaytotheirheartsindisguise。ThroughJulianonlycouldshesaythewordswhichweretoestablishGraceRoseberryinherrightpositioninthehouse。
Howwasherconfessiontobeaddressedtohim?Inwriting?orbywordofmouth?
Afterallthathadhappened,fromthetimewhenLadyJanet'sappearancehadinterruptedthem,shewouldhavefeltreliefratherthanembarrassmentinpersonallyopeningherhearttothemanwhohadsodelicatelyunderstoodher,whohadsofaithfullybefriendedherinhersorestneed。ButtherepeatedbetrayalsofHorace'sjealoussuspicionofJulianwarnedherthatshewouldonlybesurroundingherselfwithnewdifficulties,andbeplacingJulianinapositionofpainfulembarrassment,ifsheadmittedhimtoaprivateinterviewwhileHoracewasinthehouse。
Theonecourselefttotakewasthecoursethatshehadadopted。DeterminingtoaddressthenarrativeoftheFraudtoJulianintheformofaletter,shearrangedtoadd,attheclose,certaininstructions,pointingouttohimthelineofconductwhichshewishedhimtopursue,TheseinstructionscontemplatedthecommunicationofherlettertoLadyJanetandtoHoraceinthelibrary,whileMercy——self-confessedasthemissingwomanwhomshehadpledgedherselftoproduce——awaitedintheadjoiningroomwhateversentenceitpleasedthemtopronounceonher。HerresolutionnottoscreenherselfbehindJulianfromanyconsequenceswhichmightfollowtheconfessionhadtakenrootinhermindfromthemomentwhenHoracehadharshlyaskedherandwhenLadyJanethadjoinedhiminaskingwhyshedelayedherexplanation,andwhatshewaskeepingthemwaitingfor。Outoftheverypainwhichthosequestionsinflicted,theideaofwaitinghersentenceinherownpersoninoneroom,whileherlettertoJulianwasspeakingforherinanother,hadsprungtolife。"Letthembreakmyheartiftheylike,"shehadthoughttoherself,intheself-abasementofthatbittermoment;"itwillbenomorethanIhavedeserved。"
Shelockedherdoorandopenedherwriting-desk。Knowingwhatshehadtodo,shetriedtocollectherselfanddoit。
Theeffortwasinvain。Thosepersonswhostudywritingasanartareprobablytheonlypersonswhocanmeasurethevastdistancewhichseparatesaconceptionasitexistsinthemindfromthereductionofthatconceptiontoformandshapeinwords。TheheavystressofagitationthathadbeenlaidonMercyforhourstogetherhadutterlyunfittedherforthedelicateanddifficultprocessofarrangingtheeventsofanarrativeintheirduesequenceandtheirdueproportiontowardeachother。Againandagainshetriedtobeginherletter,andagainandagainshewasbaffledbythesamehopelessconfusionofideas。Shegaveupthestruggleindespair。
Asenseofsinkingatherheart,aweightofhystericaloppressiononherbosom,warnedhernottoleaveherselfunoccupied,apreytomorbidself-investigationandimaginaryalarms。
Sheturnedinstinctively,foratemporaryemploymentofsomekind,totheconsiderationofherownfuture。Heretherewerenointricaciesorentanglements。TheprospectbeganandendedwithherreturntotheRefuge,ifthematronwouldreceiveher。ShedidnoinjusticetoJulianGray;thatgreatheartwouldfeelforher,thatkindhandwouldbeheldouttoher,sheknew。Butwhatwouldhappenifshethoughtlesslyacceptedallthathissympathymightoffer?Scandalwouldpointtoherbeautyandtohisyouth,andwouldplaceitsownvileinterpretationonthepurestfriendshipthatcouldexistbetweenthem。Andhewouldbethesufferer,forhehadacharacter——aclergyman'scharacter——tolose。No。Forhissake,outofgratitudetohim,thefarewelltoMablethorpeHousemustbealsothefarewelltoJulianGray。
Thepreciousminuteswerepassing。SheresolvedtowritetothematronandaskifshemighthopetobeforgivenandemployedattheRefugeagain。Occupationovertheletterthatwaseasytowritemighthaveitsfortifyingeffectonhermind,andmightpavethewayforresumingtheletterthatwashardtowrite。Shewaitedamomentatthewindow,thinkingofthepastlifetowhichshewassoontoreturn,beforeshetookupthepenagain。
Herwindowlookedeastward。TheduskyglareoflightedLondonmetherashereyesrestedonthesky。Itseemedtobeckonherbacktothehorrorofthecruelstreets——topointherwaymockinglytothebridgesovertheblackriver——tolurehertothetopoftheparapet,andthedreadfulleapintoGod'sarms,orintoannihilation——whoknewwhich?
Sheturned,shuddering,fromthewindow。"Willitendinthatway,"sheaskedherself,"ifthematronsaysNo?"
Shebeganherletter。
"DEARMADAM——SolongatimehaspassedsinceyouheardfrommethatIalmostshrinkfromwritingtoyou。Iamafraidyouhavealreadygivenmeupinyourownmindasahard-hearted,ungratefulwoman。
"Ihavebeenleadingafalselife;Ihavenotbeenfittowritetoyoubeforeto-day。Now,whenIamdoingwhatIcantoatonetothosewhomIhaveinjured——now,whenIrepentwithmywholeheart——mayIaskleavetoreturntothefriendwhohasbornewithmeandhelpedmethroughmanymiserableyears?Oh,madam,donotcastmeoff!Ihavenoonetoturntobutyou。
"Willyouletmeowneverythingtoyou?WillyouforgivemewhenyouknowwhatIhavedone?WillyoutakemebackintotheRefuge,ifyouhaveanyemploymentformebywhichImayearnmyshelterandmybread?
"BeforethenightcomesImustleavethehousefromwhichIamnowwriting。Ihavenowheretogoto。Thelittlemoney,thefewvaluablepossessionsIhave,mustbeleftbehindme:theyhavebeenobtainedunderfalsepretenses;theyarenotmine。NomoreforlorncreaturethanIamlivesatthismoment。YouareaChristianwoman。Notformysake——forChrist'ssake——pitymeandtakemeback。
"Iamagoodnurse,asyouknow,andIamaquickworkerwithmyneedle。Inonewayortheothercanyounotfindoccupationforme?
"Icouldalsoteach,inaveryunpretendingway。Butthatisuseless。Whowouldtrusttheirchildrentoawomanwithoutacharacter?Thereisnohopeformeinthisdirection。AndyetIamsofondofchildren!IthinkIcouldbe,nothappyagain,perhaps,butcontentwithmylot,ifIcouldbeassociatedwiththeminsomeway。Aretherenotcharitablesocietieswhicharetryingtohelpandprotectdestitutechildrenwanderingaboutthestreets?Ithinkofmyownwretchedchildhood——andoh!IshouldsoliketobeemployedinsavingotherchildrenfromendingasIhaveended。Icouldwork,forsuchanobjectasthat,frommorningtonight,andneverfeelweary。Allmyheartwouldbeinit;andIshouldhavethisadvantageoverhappyandprosperouswomen——Ishouldhavenothingelsetothinkof。Surelytheymighttrustmewiththepoorlittlestarvingwanderersofthestreets——ifyousaidawordforme?IfIamaskingtoomuch,pleaseforgiveme。Iamsowretched,madam——solonelyandsowearyofmylife。
"Thereisonlyonethingmore。Mytimehereisveryshort。Willyoupleasereplytothislettertosayyesornobytelegram?
"ThenamebywhichyouknowmeisnotthenamebywhichIhavebeenknownhere。Imustbegyoutoaddressthetelegramto'TheReverendJulianGray,MablethorpeHouse,Kensington。'Heishere,andhewillshowittome。NowordsofminecandescribewhatIowetohim。Hehasneverdespairedofme——hehassavedmefrommyself。Godblessandrewardthekindest,truest,bestmanIhaveeverknown!
"Ihavenomoretosay,excepttoaskyoutoexcusethislongletter,andtobelievemeyourgratefulservant,。"
Shesignedandinclosedtheletter,andwrotetheaddress。Then,forthefirsttime,anobstaclewhichsheoughttohaveseenbeforeshoweditself,standingstraightinherway。
Therewasnotimetoforwardherletterintheordinarymannerbypost。Itmustbetakentoitsdestinationbyaprivatemessenger。LadyJanet'sservantshadhithertobeen,oneandall,atherdisposal。Couldshepresumetoemploythemonherownaffairs,whenshemightbedismissedfromthehouse,adisgracedwoman,inhalfanhour'stime?Ofthetwoalternativesitseemedbettertotakeherchance,andpresentherselfattheRefugewithoutaskingleavefirst。
Whileshewasstillconsideringthequestionshewasstartledbyaknockatherdoor。OnopeningitsheadmittedLadyJanet'smaid,withamorseloffoldednote-paperinherhand。
"Frommylady,miss,"saidthewoman,givingherthenote。"Thereisnoanswer。"
Mercystoppedherasshewasabouttoleavetheroom。Theappearanceofthemaidsuggestedaninquirytoher。Sheaskedifanyoftheservantswerelikelytobegoingintotownthatafternoon。
"Yes,miss。Oneofthegroomsisgoingonhorseback,withamessagetoherladyship'scoach-maker。"
TheRefugewasclosebythecoach-maker'splaceofbusiness。Underthecircumstances,Mercywasemboldenedtomakeuseoftheman。Itwasapardonablelibertytoemployhisservicesnow。
"Willyoukindlygivethegroomthatletterforme?"shesaid。"Itwillnottakehimoutofhisway。Hehasonlytodeliverit——nothingmore。"
Thewomanwillinglycompliedwiththerequest。Leftoncemorebyherself,Mercylookedatthelittlenotewhichhadbeenplacedinherhands。
Itwasthefirsttimethatherbenefactresshademployedthisformalmethodofcommunicatingwithherwhentheywerebothinthehouse。Whatdidsuchadeparturefromestablishedhabitsmean?Hadshereceivedhernoticeofdismissal?HadLadyJanet'squickintelligencefounditswayalreadytoasuspicionofthetruth?Mercy'snerveswereunstrung。Shetrembledpitiablyassheopenedthefoldednote。
Itbeganwithoutaformofaddress,anditendedwithoutasignature。Thusitran:
"Imustrequestyoutodelayforalittlewhiletheexplanationwhichyouhavepromisedme。Atmyage,painfulsurprisesareverytryingthings。Imusthavetimetocomposemyself,beforeIcanhearwhatyouhavetosay。YoushallnotbekeptwaitinglongerthanIcanhelp。Inthemeanwhileeverythingwillgoonasusual。MynephewJulian,andHoraceHolmcroft,andtheladywhomIfoundinthedining-room,will,bymydesire,remaininthehouseuntilIamabletomeetthem,andtomeetyou,again。"
Therethenoteended。Towhatconclusiondiditpoint?
HadLadyJanetreallyguessedthetruth?orhadsheonlysurmisedthatheradopteddaughterwasconnectedinsomediscreditablemannerwiththemysteryof"MercyMerrick"?Thelineinwhichshereferredtotheintruderinthedining-roomas"thelady"showedveryremarkablythatheropinionshadundergoneachangeinthatquarter。ButwasthephraseenoughofitselftojustifytheinferencethatshehadactuallyanticipatedthenatureofMercy'sconfession?Itwasnoteasytodecidethatdoubtatthemoment——anditprovedtobeequallydifficulttothrowanylightonitatanaftertime。TotheendofherlifeLadyJanetresolutelyrefusedtocommunicatetoanyonetheconclusionswhichshemighthaveprivatelyformed,thegriefswhichshemighthavesecretlystifled,onthatmemorableday。
Amidmuch,however,whichwasbesetwithuncertainty,onethingatleastwasclear。ThetimeatMercy'sdisposalinherownroomhadbeenindefinitelyprolongedbyMercy'sbenefactress。Hoursmightpassbeforethedisclosuretowhichshestoodcommittedwouldbeexpectedfromher。InthosehoursshemightsurelycomposehermindsufficientlytobeabletowriteherletterofconfessiontoJulianGray。
Oncemoresheplacedthesheetofpaperbeforeher。Restingherheadonherhandasshesatatthetable,shetriedtotraceherwaythroughthelabyrinthofthepast,beginningwiththedaywhenshehadmetGraceRoseberryintheFrenchcottage,andendingwiththedaywhichhadbroughtthemfacetoface,forthesecondtime,inthedining-roomatMablethorpeHouse。
Thechainofeventsbegantounrollitselfinhermindclearly,linkbylink。
Sheremarked,asshepursuedtheretrospect,howstrangelyChance,orFate,hadpavedthewayfortheactofpersonation,inthefirstplace。
Iftheyhadmetunderordinarycircumstances,neitherMercynorGracewouldhavetrustedeachotherwiththeconfidenceswhichhadbeenexchangedbetweenthem。Astheeventhadhappened,theyhadcometogether,underthoseextraordinarycircumstancesofcommontrialandcommonperil,inastrangecountry,whichwouldespeciallypredisposetwowomenofthesamenationtoopentheirheartstoeachother。InnootherwaycouldMercyhaveobtainedatafirstinterviewthatfatalknowledgeofGrace'spositionandGrace'saffairswhichhadplacedtemptationbeforeherasthenecessaryconsequencethatfollowedtheburstingoftheGermanshell。
Advancingfromthispointthroughthesucceedingseriesofeventswhichhadsonaturallyandyetsostrangelyfavoredtheperpetrationofthefraud,MercyreachedthelaterperiodwhenGracehadfollowedhertoEngland。Hereagainsheremarked,inthesecondplace,howChance,orFate,hadoncemorepavedthewayforthatsecondmeetingwhichhadconfrontedthemwithoneanotheratMablethorpeHouse。
Shehad,asshewellremembered,attendedatacertainassemblyconvenedbyacharitablesocietyinthecharacterofLadyJanet'srepresentative,atLadyJanet'sownrequest。ForthatreasonshehadbeenabsentfromthehousewhenGracehadenteredit。Ifherreturnhadbeendelayedbyafewminutesonly,JulianwouldhavehadtimetotakeGraceoutoftheroom,andtheterriblemeetingwhichhadstretchedMercysenselessonthefloorwouldneverhavetakenplace。Astheeventhadhappened,theperiodofherabsencehadbeenfatallyshortenedbywhatappearedatthetimetobe,thecommonestpossibleoccurrence。The,personsassembledatthesociety'sroomshaddisagreedsoseriouslyonthebusinesswhichhadbroughtthemtogetherastorenderitnecessarytotaketheordinarycourseofadjourningtheproceedingstoafutureday。AndChance,orFate,hadsotimedthatadjournmentastobringMercybackintothedining-roomexactlyatthemomentwhenGraceRoseberryinsistedonbeingconfrontedwiththewomanwhohadtakenherplace。
Shehadneveryetseenthecircumstancesinthissinisterlight。Shewasaloneinherroom,atacrisisinherlife。Shewaswornandweakenedbyemotionswhichhadshakenhertothesoul。
Littlebylittleshefelttheenervatinginfluencesletlooseonher,inherlonelyposition,byhernewtrainofthought。Littlebylittleherheartbegantosinkunderthestealthychillofsuperstitiousdread。Vaguelyhorriblepresentimentsthrobbedinherwithherpulses,flowedthroughherwithherblood。Mysticoppressionsofhiddendisasterhoveredoverherintheatmosphereoftheroom。Thecheerfulcandle-lightturnedtraitortoherandgrewdim。Supernaturalmurmurstrembledroundthehouseinthemoaningofthewinterwind。Shewasafraidtolookbehindher。Onasuddenshefeltherowncoldhandscoveringherface,withoutknowingwhenshehadliftedthemtoit,orwhy。
Stillhelpless,underthehorrorthatheldher,shesuddenlyheardfootsteps——aman'sfootsteps——inthecorridoroutside。Atothertimesthesoundwouldhavestartledher:nowitbrokethespell。Thefootstepssuggestedlife,companionship,humaninterposition——nomatterofwhatsort。Shemechanicallytookupherpen;shefoundherselfbeginningtorememberherlettertoJulianGray。
Atthesamemomentthefootstepsstoppedoutsideherdoor。Themanknocked。
Shestillfeltshaken。Shewashardlymistressofherselfyet。Afaintcryofalarmescapedheratthesoundoftheknock。Beforeitcouldberepeatedshehadralliedhercourage,andhadopenedthedoor。
ThemaninthecorridorwasHoraceHolmcroft。
Hisruddycomplexionhadturnedpale。Hishairofwhichhewasespeciallycarefulatothertimeswasindisorder。Thesuperficialpolishofhismannerwasgone;theundisguisedman,sullen,distrustful,irritatedtothelastdegreeofendurance,showedthrough。Helookedatherwithawatchfullysuspiciouseye;hespoketoher,withoutprefaceorapology,inacoldlyangryvoice。
"Areyouaware,"heasked,"ofwhatisgoingondownstairs?"
"Ihavenotleftmyroom,"sheanswered。"IknowthatLadyJanethasdeferredtheexplanationwhichIhadpromisedtogiveher,andIknownomore。"
"HasnobodytoldyouwhatLadyJanetdidafteryouleftus?Hasnobodytoldyouthatshepolitelyplacedherownboudoiratthedisposaloftheverywomanwhomshehadorderedhalfanhourbeforetoleavethehouse?DoyoureallynotknowthatMr。JulianGrayhashimselfconductedthissuddenly-honoredguesttoherplaceofretirement?andthatIamleftaloneinthemidstofthesechanges,contradictions,andmysteries——theonlypersonwhoiskeptoutinthedark?"
"Itissurelyneedlesstoaskmethesequestions,"saidMercy,gently。"Whocouldpossiblyhavetoldmewhatwasgoingonbelowstairsbeforeyouknockedatmydoor?"
Helookedatherwithanironicalaffectationofsurprise。
"Youarestrangelyforgetfulto-day,"hesaid。"SurelyyourfriendMr。JulianGraymighthavetoldyou?Iamastonishedtohearthathehasnothadhisprivateinterviewyet。"
"Idon'tunderstandyou,Horace。"
"Idon'twantyoutounderstandme,"heretorted,irritably。"TheproperpersontounderstandmeisJulianGray。Ilooktohimtoaccounttomefortheconfidentialrelationswhichseemtohavebeenestablishedbetweenyoubehindmyback。Hehasavoidedmethusfar,butIshallfindmywaytohimyet。"
Hismannerthreatenedmorethanhiswordsexpressed。InMercy'snervousconditionatthemoment,itsuggestedtoherthathemightattempttofastenaquarrelonJulianGray。
"Youareentirelymistaken,"shesaid,warmly。"Youareungratefullydoubtingyourbestandtruestfriend。Isaynothingofmyself。YouwillsoondiscoverwhyIpatientlysubmittosuspicionswhichotherwomenwouldresentasaninsult。"
"Letmediscoveritatonce。Now!Withoutwastingamomentmore!"
Therehadhithertobeensomelittledistancebetweenthem。Mercyhadlistened,waitingonthethresholdofherdoor;Horacehadspoken,standingagainsttheoppositewallofthecorridor。Whenhesaidhislastwordshesuddenlysteppedforward,andwithsomethingimperativeinthegesturelaidhishandonherarm。Thestronggraspofitalmosthurther。Shestruggledtoreleaseherself。
"Letmego!"shesaid。"Whatdoyoumean?"
Hedroppedherarmassuddenlyashehadtakenit。
"YoushallknowwhatImean,"hereplied。"Awomanwhohasgrosslyoutragedandinsultedyou——whoseonlyexcuseisthatsheismad——isdetainedinthehouseatyourdesire,Imightalmostsayatyourcommand,whenthepoliceofficeriswaitingtotakeheraway。Ihavearighttoknowwhatthismeans。Iamengagedtomarryyou。Ifyouwon'ttrustotherpeople,youareboundtoexplainyourselftoMe。IrefusetowaitforLadyJanet'sconvenience。Iinsistifyouforcemetosayso——Iinsistonknowingtherealnatureofyourconnectionwiththisaffair。Youhaveobligedmetofollowyouhere;itismyonlyopportunityofspeakingtoyou。Youavoidme;youshutyourselfupfrommeinyourownroom。Iamnotyourhusbandyet——Ihavenorighttofollowyouin。Butthereareotherroomsopentous。Thelibraryisatourdisposal,andIwilltakecarethatwearenotinterrupted。Iamnowgoingthere,andIhavealastquestiontoask。Youaretobemywifeinaweek'stime:willyoutakemeintoyourconfidenceornot?"
Tohesitatewas,inthiscase,literallytobelost。Mercy'ssenseofjusticetoldherthatHoracehadclaimednomorethanhisdue。Sheansweredinstantly:
"Iwillfollowyoutothelibrary,Horace,infiveminutes。"
Herpromptandfrankcompliancewithhiswishessurprisedandtouchedhim。Hetookherhand。
Shehadenduredallthathisangrysenseofinjurycouldsay。Hisgratitudewoundedhertothequick。Thebitterestmomentshehadfeltyetwasthemomentinwhichheraisedherhandtohislips,andmurmuredtenderly,"MyowntrueGrace!"Shecouldonlysigntohimtoleaveher,andhurrybackintoherownroom。
Herfirstfeeling,whenshefoundherselfaloneagain,waswonder——wonderthatitshouldneverhaveoccurredtoher,untilhehadhimselfsuggestedit,thatherbetrothedhusbandhadtheforemostrighttoherconfession。HerhorroratowningtoeitherofthemthatshehadcheatedthemoutoftheirlovehadhithertoplacedHoraceandLadyJanetonthesamelevel。Shenowsawforthefirsttimethattherewasnocomparisonbetweentheclaimswhichtheyrespectivelyhadonher。SheownedanallegiancetoHoracetowhichLadyJanetcouldassertnoright。Costherwhatitmighttoavowthetruthtohimwithherownlips,thecruelsacrificemustbemade。
Withoutamoment'shesitationsheputawayherwritingmaterials。ItamazedherthatsheshouldeverhavethoughtofusingJulianGrayasaninterpreterbetweenthemantowhomshewasbetrothedandherself。Julian'ssympathyshethoughtmusthavemadeastrongimpressiononherindeedtoblindhertoadutywhichwasbeyondallcompromise,whichadmittedofnodispute!
ShehadaskedforfiveminutesofdelaybeforeshefollowedHorace。Itwastoolongatime。
Heronechanceoffindingcouragetocrushhimwiththedreadfulrevelationofwhoshereallywas,ofwhatshehadreallydone,wastoplungeheadlongintothedisclosurewithoutgivingherselftimetothink。Theshameofitwouldoverpowerherifshegaveherselftimetothink。
Sheturnedtothedoortofollowhimatonce。
Evenatthatterriblemomentthemostineradicableofallawoman'sinstincts——theinstinctofpersonalself-respect——broughthertoapause。Shehadpassedthroughmorethanoneterribletrialsinceshehaddressedtogodownstairs。Rememberingthis,shestoppedmechanically,retracedhersteps,andlookedatherselfintheglass。
Therewasnomotiveofvanityinwhatshenowdid。Theactionwasasunconsciousasifshehadbuttonedanunfastenedglove,orshakenoutacrumpleddress。Notthefaintestideacrossedhermindoflookingtoseeifherbeautymightstillpleadforher,andoftryingtosetitoffatitsbest。
Amomentarysmile,themostweary,themosthopeless,thateversaddenedawoman'sface,appearedinthereflectionwhichhermirrorgaveherback。"Haggard,ghastly,oldbeforemytime!"shesaidtoherself。"Well!betterso。Hewillfeelitless——hewillnotregretme。"
Withthatthoughtshewentdownstairstomeethiminthelibrary。
[NextChapter]
[TableofContents]TheNewMagdalen,Chapter22CHAPTERXXII
THEMANINTHEDINING-ROOM。
INthegreatemergenciesoflifewefeel,orweact,asourdispositionsinclineus。Butweneverthink。Mercy'smindwasablankasshedescendedthestairs。Onherwaydownshewasconsciousofnothingbuttheoneheadlongimpulsetogettothelibraryintheshortestpossiblespaceoftime。Arrivedatthedoor,theimpulsecapriciouslylefther。Shestoppedonthemat,wonderingwhyshehadhurriedherself,withtimetospare。Herheartsank;thefeverofherexcitementchangedsuddenlytoachillasshefacedthecloseddoor,andaskedherselfthequestion,DareIgoin?
Herownhandansweredher。Sheliftedittoturnthehandleofthelock。Itdroppedagainhelplesslyatherside。
Thesenseofherownirresolutionwrungfromheralowexclamationofdespair。Faintasitwas,ithadapparentlynotpassedunheard。Thedoorwasopenedfromwithin——andHoracestoodbeforeher。
Hedrewasidetoletherpassintotheroom。Butheneverfollowedherin。Hestoodinthedoorway,andspoketoher,keepingthedooropenwithhishand。
"Doyoumindwaitinghereforme?"heasked。
Shelookedathim,invacantsurprise,doubtingwhethershehadheardhimaright。
"Itwillnotbeforlong,"hewenton。"Iamfartooanxioustohearwhatyouhavetotellmetosubmittoanyneedlessdelays。Thetruthis,IhavehadamessagefromLadyJanet。"
FromLadyJanet!WhatcouldLadyJanetwantwithhim,atatimewhenshewasbentoncomposingherselfintheretirementofherownroom?
"Ioughttohavesaidtwomessages,"Horaceproceeded。"Thefirstwasgiventomeonmywaydownstairs。LadyJanetwishedtoseemeimmediately。Isentanexcuse。Asecondmessagefollowed。LadyJanetwouldacceptnoexcuse。IfIrefusedtogotoherIshouldbemerelyobliginghertocometome。Itisimpossibletoriskbeinginterruptedinthatway;myonlyalternativeistogetthethingoverassoonaspossible。Doyoumindwaiting?"
"Certainlynot。HaveyouanyideaofwhatLadyJanetwantswithyou?"
"No。Whateveritis,sheshallnotkeepmelongawayfromyou。Youwillbequitealonehere;Ihavewarnedtheservantsnottoshowanyonein。"Withthosewordshelefther。
Mercy'sfirstsensationwasasensationofrelief——soonlostinafeelingofshameattheweaknesswhichcouldwelcomeanytemporaryreliefinsuchapositionashers。Theemotionthusrousedmerged,initsturn,intoasenseofimpatientregret。"ButforLadyJanet'smessage,"shethoughttoherself,"Imighthaveknownmyfatebythistime!"
Theslowminutesfollowedeachotherdrearily。Shepacedtoandfrointhelibrary,fasterandfaster,undertheintolerableirritation,themaddeninguncertainty,ofherownsuspense。Erelong,eventhespaciousroomseemedtobetoosmallforher。Thesobermonotonyofthelongbook-linedshelvesoppressedandoffendedher。Shethrewopenthedoorwhichledintothedining-room,anddashedin,eagerforachangeofobjects,athirstformorespaceandmoreair。
Atthefirststepshecheckedherself;rootedtothespot,underasuddenrevulsionoffeelingwhichquietedherinaninstant。
Theroomwasonlyilluminatedbythewaningfire-light。Amanwasobscurelyvisible,seatedonthesofa,withhiselbowsonhiskneesandhisheadrestingonhishands。Helookedupastheopendoorletinthelightfromthelibrarylamps。ThemellowglowreachedhisfaceandrevealedJulianGray。
Mercywasstandingwithherbacktothelight;herfacebeingnecessarilyhiddenindeepshadow。Herecognizedherbyherfigure,andbytheattitudeintowhichitunconsciouslyfell。Thatunsoughtgrace,thatlithelongbeautyofline,belongedtobutonewomaninthehouse。Herose,andapproachedher。
"Ihavebeenwishingtoseeyou,"hesaid,"andhopingthataccidentmightbringaboutsomesuchmeetingasthis。"
Heofferedherachair。Mercyhesitatedbeforeshetookherseat。ThiswastheirfirstmeetingalonesinceLadyJanethadinterruptedheratthemomentwhenshewasabouttoconfidetoJulianthemelancholystoryofthepast。Washeanxioustoseizetheopportunityofreturningtoherconfession?Thetermsinwhichhehadaddressedherseemedtoimplyit。Sheputthequestiontohiminplainwords"Ifeelthedeepestinterestinhearingallthatyouhavestilltoconfidetome,"heanswered。"ButanxiousasImaybe,Iwillnothurryyou。Iwillwait,ifyouwishit。"
"IamafraidImustownthatIdowishit,"Mercyrejoined。"Notonmyaccount——butbecausemytimeisatthedisposalofHoraceHolmcroft。Iexpecttoseehiminafewminutes。"
"Couldyougivemethosefewminutes?"Julianasked。"IhavesomethingonmysidetosaytoyouwhichIthinkyououghttoknowbeforeyouseeanyone——Horacehimselfincluded。"
Hespokewithacertaindepressionoftonewhichwasnotassociatedwithherpreviousexperienceofhim。Hisfacelookedprematurelyoldandcarewornintheredlightofthefire。Somethinghadplainlyhappenedtosaddenandtodisappointhimsincetheyhadlastmet。
"IwillinglyofferyouallthetimethatIhaveatmyowncommand,"Mercyreplied。"DoeswhatyouhavetotellmerelatetoLadyJanet?"
Hegavehernodirectreply。"WhatIhavetotellyouofLadyJanet,"hesaid,gravely,"issoontold。Sofarassheisconcernedyouhavenothingmoretodread。LadyJanetknowsall。"
EventheheavyweightofoppressioncausedbytheimpendinginterviewwithHoracefailedtoholditsplaceinMercy'smindwhenJulianansweredherinthosewords。
"Comeintothelightedroom,"shesaid,faintly。"Itistooterribletohearyousaythatinthedark。"
Julianfollowedherintothelibrary。Herlimbstrembledunderher。Shedroppedintoachair,andshrankunderhisgreatbrighteyes,ashestoodbyhersidelookingsadlydownonher。
"LadyJanetknowsall!"sherepeated,withherheadonherbreast,andthetearsfallingslowlyoverhercheeks。"Haveyoutoldher?"
"IhavesaidnothingtoLadyJanetortoanyone。Yourconfidenceisasacredconfidencetome,untilyouhavespokenfirst。"
"HasLadyJanetsaidanythingtoyou?"
"Notaword。Shehaslookedatyouwiththevigilanteyesoflove;shehaslistenedtoyouwiththequickhearingoflove——andshehasfoundherownwaytothetruth。Shewillnotspeakofittome——shewillnotspeakofittoanylivingcreature。Ionlyknownowhowdearlyshelovedyou。Inspiteofherselfsheclingstoyoustill。Herlife,poorsoul,hasbeenabarrenone;unworthy,miserablyunworthy,ofsuchanatureashers。Hermarriagewaslovelessandchildless。Shehashadadmirers,butnever,inthehighersenseoftheword,afriend。Allthebestyearsofherlifehavebeenwastedintheunsatisfiedlongingforsomethingtolove。AttheendofherlifeYouhavefilledthevoid。Herhearthasfounditsyouthagain,throughYou。Atherage——atanyage——issuchatieasthistoberudelybrokenatthemerebiddingofcircumstances?No!Shewillsufferanything,riskanything,forgiveanything,ratherthanown,eventoherself,thatshehasbeendeceivedinyou。Thereismorethanherhappinessatstake;thereispride,anoblepride,insuchloveashers,whichwillignoretheplainestdiscoveryanddenythemostunanswerabletruth。Iamfirmlyconvinced——frommyownknowledgeofhercharacter,andfromwhatIhaveobservedinherto-day——thatshewillfindsomeexcuseforrefusingtohearyourconfession。Andmorethanthat,Ibelieveiftheexertionofherinfluencecandoitthatshewillleavenomeansuntriedofpreventingyoufromacknowledgingyourtruepositionheretoanylivingcreature。Itakeaseriousresponsibilityonmyselfintellingyouthis——andIdon'tshrinkfromit。Yououghttoknow,andyoushallknow,whattrialsandwhattemptationsmayyetliebeforeyou。"
Hepaused——leavingMercytimetocomposeherself,ifshewishedtospeaktohim。
Shefeltthattherewasanecessityforherspeakingtohim。HewasplainlynotawarethatLadyJanethadalreadywrittentohertodeferherpromisedexplanation。Thiscircumstancewasinitselfaconfirmationoftheopinionwhichhehadexpressed。Sheoughttomentionittohim;shetriedtomentionittohim。Butshewasnotequaltotheeffort。ThefewsimplewordsinwhichhehadtouchedonthetiethatboundLadyJanettoherhadwrungherheart。Hertearschokedher。Shecouldonlysigntohimtogoon。
"Youmaywonderatmyspeakingsopositively,"hecontinued,"withnothingbetterthanmyownconvictiontojustifyme。IcanonlysaythatIhavewatchedLadyJanettoocloselytofeelanydoubt。Isawthemomentinwhichthetruthflashedonher,asplainlyasInowseeyou。Itdidnotdiscloseitselfgradually——itburstonher,asitburstonme。Shesuspectednothing——shewasfranklyindignantatyoursuddeninterferenceandyourstrangelanguage——untilthetimecameinwhichyoupledgedyourselftoproduceMercyMerrick。Thenandthenonlythetruthbrokeonhermind,treblyrevealedtoherinyourwords,yourvoice,andyourlook。ThenandthenonlyIsawamarkedchangecomeoverher,andremaininherwhilesheremainedintheroom。Idreadtothinkofwhatshemaydointhefirstrecklessdespairofthediscoverythatshehasmade。Idistrust——thoughGodknowsIamnotnaturallyasuspiciousman——themostapparentlytriflingeventsthatarenowtakingplaceaboutus。Youhaveheldnoblytoyourresolutiontoownthetruth。Prepareyourself,beforetheeveningisover,tobetriedandtemptedagain。"
Mercyliftedherhead。Feartooktheplaceofgriefinhereyes,astheyrestedinstartledinquiryonJulian'sface。
"Howisitpossiblethattemptationcancometomenow?"sheasked。
"Iwillleaveittoeventstoanswerthatquestion,"hesaid。"Youwillnothavelongtowait。InthemeantimeIhaveputyouonyourguard。"Hestooped,andspokehisnextwordsearnestly,closeatherear。"Holdfastbytheadmirablecouragewhichyouhaveshownthusfar,"hewenton。"Sufferanythingratherthansufferthedegradationofyourself。BethewomanwhomIoncespokeof——thewomanIstillhaveinmymind——whocannoblyrevealthenoblenaturethatisinher。Andneverforgetthis——myfaithinyouisasfirmasever!"
Shelookedathimproudlyandgratefully。
"Iampledgedtojustifyyourfaithinme,"shesaid。"Ihaveputitoutofmyownpowertoyield。HoracehasmypromisethatIwillexplaineverythingtohim,inthisroom。"
Julianstarted。
"HasHoracehimselfaskeditofyou?"heinquired。"He,atleast,hasnosuspicionofthetruth。"
"Horacehasappealedtomydutytohimashisbetrothedwife,"sheanswered。"Hehasthefirstclaimtomyconfidence——heresentsmysilence,andhehasarighttoresentit。Terribleasitwillbetoopenhiseyestothetruth,Imustdoitifheasksme。"
ShewaslookingatJulianwhileshespoke。Theoldlongingtoassociatewiththehardtrialoftheconfessiontheonemanwhohadfeltforher,andbelievedinher,revivedunderanotherform。Ifshecouldonlyknow,whileshewassayingthefatalwordstoHorace,thatJulianwaslisteningtoo,shewouldbeencouragedtomeettheworstthatcouldhappen!Astheideacrossedhermind,sheobservedthatJulianwaslookingtowardthedoorthroughwhichtheyhadlatelypassed。Inaninstantshesawthemeanstoherend。Hardlywaitingtohearthefewkindexpressionsofsympathyandapprovalwhichheaddressedtoher,shehintedtimidlyattheproposalwhichshehadnowtomaketohim。
"Areyougoingbackintothenextroom?"sheasked。
"Notifyouobjecttoit,"hereplied。
"Idon'tobject。Iwantyoutobethere。"
"AfterHoracehasjoinedyou?"
"Yes。AfterHoracehasjoinedme。"
"Doyouwishtoseemewhenitisover?"
Shesummonedherresolution,andtoldhimfranklywhatshehadinhermind。
"IwantyoutobenearmewhileIamspeakingtoHorace,"shesaid。"ItwillgivemecourageifIcanfeelthatIamspeakingtoyouaswellastohim。Icancountonyoursympathy——andsympathyissoprecioustomenow!AmIaskingtoomuch,ifIaskyoutoleavethedoorunclosedwhenyougobacktothedining-room?Thinkofthedreadfultrial——tohimaswellastome!Iamonlyawoman;IamafraidImaysinkunderit,ifIhavenofriendnearme。AndIhavenofriendbutyou。"
Inthosesimplewordsshetriedherpowersofpersuasiononhimforthefirsttime。
BetweenperplexityanddistressJulianwas,forthemoment,atalosshowtoanswerher。TheloveforMercywhichhedarednotacknowledgewasasvitalafeelinginhimasthefaithinherwhichhehadbeenfreetoavow。Torefuseanythingthatsheaskedofhiminhersoreneed——and,moreeventhanthat,torefusetoheartheconfessionwhichithadbeenherfirstimpulsetomaketohim——thesewerecruelsacrificestohissenseofwhatwasduetoHoraceandofwhatwasduetohimself。Butshrinkashemight,evenfromtheappearanceofdesertingher,itwasimpossibleforhimexceptunderareservewhichwasalmostequivalenttoadenialtograntherrequest。
"AllthatIcandoIwilldo,"hesaid。"Thedoorsshallbeleftunclosed,andIwillremaininthenextroom,onthiscondition,thatHoraceknowsofitaswellasyou。IshouldbeunworthyofyourconfidenceinmeifIconsentedtobealisteneronanyotherterms。Youunderstandthat,Iamsure,aswellasIdo。"
Shehadneverthoughtofherproposaltohiminthislight。Woman-like,shehadthoughtofnothingbutthecomfortofhavinghimnearher。Sheunderstoodhimnow。Afaintflushofshameroseonherpalecheeksasshethankedhim。Hedelicatelyrelievedherfromherembarrassmentbyputtingaquestionwhichnaturallyoccurredunderthecircumstances。
"WhereisHoraceallthistime?"heasked。"Whyishenothere?"
"Hehasbeencalledaway,"sheanswered,"byamessagefromLadyJanet。"
ThereplymorethanastonishedJulian;itseemedalmosttoalarmhim。HereturnedtoMercy'schair;hesaidtoher,eagerly,"Areyousure?"
"HoracehimselftoldmethatLadyJanethadinsistedonseeinghim。"
"When?"
"Notlongago。Heaskedmetowaitforhimherewhilehewentupstairs。"