Chapter1
　　MYfather'sfamilynamebeingPirrip，andmychristiannamePhilip，myinfanttonguecouldmakeofbothnamesnothinglongerormoreexplicitthanPip。So，IcalledmyselfPip，andcametobecalledPip。
　　IgivePirripasmyfather'sfamilyname，ontheauthorityofhistombstoneandmysister-MrsJoeGargery，whomarriedtheblacksmith。AsIneversawmyfatherormymother，andneversawanylikenessofeitherofthemfortheirdayswerelongbeforethedaysofphotographs，myfirstfanciesregardingwhattheywerelike，wereunreasonablyderivedfromtheirtombstones。
　　Theshapeofthelettersonmyfather's，gavemeanoddideathathewasasquare，stout，darkman，withcurlyblackhair。Fromthecharacterandturnoftheinscription，`AlsoGeorgianaWifeoftheAbove，'Idrewachildishconclusionthatmymotherwasfreckledandsickly。Tofivelittlestonelozenges，eachaboutafootandahalflong，whichwerearrangedinaneatrowbesidetheirgrave，andweresacredtothememoryoffivelittlebrothersofmine-whogaveuptryingtogetaliving，exceedinglyearlyinthatuniversalstruggle-IamindebtedforabeliefIreligiouslyentertainedthattheyhadallbeenbornontheirbackswiththeirhandsintheirtrousers-pockets，andhadnevertakenthemoutinthisstateofexistence。
　　Ourswasthemarshcountry，downbytheriver，within，astheriverwound，twentymilesofthesea。Myfirstmostvividandbroadimpressionoftheidentityofthings，seemstometohavebeengainedonamemorablerawafternoontowardsevening。AtsuchatimeIfoundoutforcertain，thatthisbleakplaceovergrownwithnettleswasthechurchyard；andthatPhilipPirrip，lateofthisparish，andalsoGeorgianawifeoftheabove，weredeadandburied；andthatAlexander，Bartholomew，Abraham，Tobias，andRoger，infantchildrenoftheaforesaid，werealsodeadandburied；
　　andthatthedarkflatwildernessbeyondthechurchyard，intersectedwithdykesandmoundsandgates，withscatteredcattlefeedingonit，wasthemarshes；andthatthelowleadenlinebeyond，wastheriver；andthatthedistantsavagelairfromwhichthewindwasrushing，wasthesea；andthatthesmallbundleofshiversgrowingafraidofitallandbeginningtocry，wasPip。
　　`Holdyournoise！'criedaterriblevoice，asamanstartedupfromamongthegravesatthesideofthechurchporch。`Keepstill，youlittledevil，orI'llcutyourthroat！'
　　Afearfulman，allincoarsegrey，withagreatirononhisleg。Amanwithnohat，andwithbrokenshoes，andwithanoldragtiedroundhishead。Amanwhohadbeensoakedinwater，andsmotheredinmud，andlamedbystones，andcutbyflints，andstungbynettles，andtornbybriars；
　　wholimped，andshivered，andglaredandgrowled；andwhoseteethchatteredinhisheadasheseizedmebythechin。
　　`O！Don'tcutmythroat，sir，'Ipleadedinterror。`Praydon'tdoit，sir。'
　　`Tellusyourname！'saidtheman。`Quick！'
　　`Pip，sir。'
　　`Oncemore，'saidtheman，staringatme。`Giveitmouth！'
　　`Pip。Pip，sir。'
　　`Showuswhereyoulive，'saidtheman。`Pintouttheplace！'
　　Ipointedtowhereourvillagelay，ontheflatin-shoreamongthealder-treesandpollards，amileormorefromthechurch。
　　Theman，afterlookingatmeforamoment，turnedmeupsidedown，andemptiedmypockets。Therewasnothinginthembutapieceofbread。Whenthechurchcametoitself-forhewassosuddenandstrongthathemadeitgoheadoverheelsbeforeme，andIsawthesteepleundermyfeet-
　　whenthechurchcametoitself，Isay，Iwasseatedonahightombstone，trembling，whileheatethebreadravenously。
　　`Youyoungdog，'saidtheman，lickinghislips，`whatfatcheeksyouha'got。'
　　Ibelievetheywerefat，thoughIwasatthattimeundersizedformyyears，andnotstrong。
　　`DarnMeifIcouldn'teatem，'saidtheman，withathreateningshakeofhishead，`andifIhan'thalfamindto't！'
　　Iearnestlyexpressedmyhopethathewouldn't，andheldtightertothetombstoneonwhichhehadputme；partly，tokeepmyselfuponit；partly，tokeepmyselffromcrying。
　　`Nowlookeehere！'saidtheman。`Where'syourmother？'
　　`There，sir！'saidI。
　　Hestarted，madeashortrun，andstoppedandlookedoverhisshoulder。
　　`There，sir！'Itimidlyexplained。`AlsoGeorgiana。That'smymother。'
　　`Oh！'saidhe，comingback。`Andisthatyourfatheralongeryourmother？'
　　`Yes，sir，'saidI；`himtoo；lateofthisparish。'
　　`Ha！'hemutteredthen，considering。`Whod'yelivewith-supposin'
　　you'rekindlylettolive，whichIhan'tmadeupmymindabout？'
　　`Mysister，sir-MrsJoeGargery-wifeofJoeGargery，theblacksmith，sir。'
　　`Blacksmith，eh？'saidhe。Andlookeddownathisleg。
　　Afterdarklylookingathislegandmeseveraltimes，hecameclosertomytombstone，tookmebybotharms，andtiltedmebackasfarashecouldholdme；sothathiseyeslookedmostpowerfullydownintomine，andminelookedmosthelplesslyupintohis。
　　`Nowlookeehere，'hesaid，`thequestionbeingwhetheryou'retobelettolive。Youknowwhatafileis？'
　　`Yes，sir。'
　　`Andyouknowwhatwittlesis？'
　　`Yes，sir。'
　　Aftereachquestionhetitledmeoveralittlemore，soastogivemeagreatersenseofhelplessnessanddanger。
　　`Yougetmeafile。'Hetiltedmeagain。`Andyougetmewittles。'Hetiltedmeagain。`Youbring'embothtome。'Hetiltedmeagain。`OrI'llhaveyourheartandliverout。'Hetiltedmeagain。
　　Iwasdreadfullyfrightened，andsogiddythatIclungtohimwithbothhands，andsaid，`Ifyouwouldkindlypleasetoletmekeepupright，sir，perhapsIshouldn'tbesick，andperhapsIcouldattendmore。'
　　Hegavemeamosttremendousdipandroll，sothatthechurchjumpedoveritsownweather-cock。Then，heheldmebythearms，inanuprightpositiononthetopofthestone，andwentoninthesefearfulterms:
　　`Youbringme，to-morrowmorningearly，thatfileandthemwittles。
　　Youbringthelottome，atthatoldBatteryoveryonder。Youdoit，andyouneverdaretosayawordordaretomakeasignconcerningyourhavingseensuchapersonasme，oranypersonsumever，andyoushallbelettolive。Youfail，oryougofrommywordsinanypartickler，nomatterhowsmallitis，andyourheartandyourlivershallbetoreout，roastedandate。Now，Iain'talone，asyoumaythinkIam。There'sayoungmanhidwithme，incomparisonwithwhichyoungmanIamaAngel。ThatyoungmanhearsthewordsIspeak。Thatyoungmanhasasecretwaypecooliartohimself，ofgettingataboy，andathisheart，andathisliver。Itisinwainforaboytoattempttohidehimselffromthatyoungman。Aboymaylockhisdoor，maybewarminbed，maytuckhimselfup，maydrawtheclothesoverhishead，maythinkhimselfcomfortableandsafe，butthatyoungmanwillsoftlycreepandcreephiswaytohimandtearhimopen。Iamakeepingthatyoungmanfromharmingofyouatthepresentmoment，withgreatdifficulty。
　　Ifinditweryhardtoholdthatyoungmanoffofyourinside。Now，whatdoyousay？'
　　IsaidthatIwouldgethimthefile，andIwouldgethimwhatbrokenbitsoffoodIcould，andIwouldcometohimattheBattery，earlyinthemorning。
　　`SayLordstrikeyoudeadifyoudon't！'saidtheman。
　　Isaidso，andhetookmedown。
　　`Now，'hepursued，`yourememberwhatyou'veundertook，andyourememberthatyoungman，andyougethome！'
　　`Goo-goodnight，sir，'Ifaltered。
　　`Muchofthat！'saidhe，glancingabouthimoverthecoldwetflat。
　　`IwishIwasafrog。Oraeel！'
　　Atthesametime，hehuggedhisshudderingbodyinbothhisarms-claspinghimself，asiftoholdhimselftogether-andlimpedtowardsthelowchurchwall。AsIsawhimgo，pickinghiswayamongthenettles，andamongthebramblesthatboundthegreenmounds，helookedinmyyoungeyesasifhewereeludingthehandsofthedeadpeople，stretchingupcautiouslyoutoftheirgraves，togetatwistuponhisankleandpullhimin。
　　Whenhecametothelowchurchwall，hegotoverit，likeamanwhoselegswerenumbedandstiff，andthenturnedroundtolookforme。WhenIsawhimturning，Isetmyfacetowardshome，andmadethebestuseofmylegs。ButpresentlyIlookedovermyshoulder，andsawhimgoingonagaintowardstheriver，stillhugginghimselfinbotharms，andpickinghiswaywithhissorefeetamongthegreatstonesdroppedintothemarsheshereandthere，forstepping-placeswhentherainswereheavy，orthetidewasin。
　　Themarsheswerejustalongblackhorizontallinethen，asIstoppedtolookafterhim；andtheriverwasjustanotherhorizontalline，notnearlysobroadnotyetsoblack；andtheskywasjustarowoflongangryredlinesanddenseblacklinesintermixed。OntheedgeoftheriverI
　　couldfaintlymakeouttheonlytwoblackthingsinalltheprospectthatseemedtobestandingupright；oneofthesewasthebeaconbywhichthesailorssteered-likeanunhoopedcaskuponapole-anuglythingwhenyouwerenearit；theotheragibbet，withsomechainshangingtoitwhichhadonceheldapirate。Themanwaslimpingontowardsthislatter，asifhewerethepiratecometolife，andcomedown，andgoingbacktohookhimselfupagain。IfgavemeaterribleturnwhenIthoughtso；andasIsawthecattleliftingtheirheadstogazeafterhim，Iwonderedwhethertheythoughtsotoo。Ilookedallroundforthehorribleyoungman，andcouldseenosingsofhim。But，nowIwasfrightenedagain，andranhomewithoutstopping。
　　Chapter2
　　MYsister，MrsJoeGargery，wasmorethantwentyyearsolderthanI，andhadestablishedagreatreputationwithherselfandtheneighboursbecauseshehadbroughtmeup`byhand'。Havingatthattimetofindoutformyselfwhattheexpressionmeant，andknowinghertohaveahardandheavyhand，andtobemuchinthehabitoflayingituponherhusbandaswellasuponme，IsupposedthatJoeGargeryandIwerebothbroughtupbyhand。
　　Shewasnotagood-lookingwoman，mysister；andIhadageneralimpressionthatshemusthavemadeJoeGargerymarryherbyhand。Joewasafairman，withcurlsofflaxenhaironeachsideofhissmoothface，andwitheyesofsuchaveryundecidedbluethattheyseemedtohavesomehowgotmixedwiththeirownwhites。Hewasamild，good-natured，sweet-tempered，easy-going，foolish，dearfellow-asortofHerculesinstrength，andalsoinweakness。
　　Mysister，MrsJoe，withblackhairandeyes，hadsuchaprevailingrednessofskinthatIsometimesusedtowonderwhetheritwaspossibleshewashedherselfwithanutmeg-graterinsteadofsoap。Shewastallandbony，andalmostalwaysworeacoarseapron，fastenedoverherfigurebehindwithtwoloops，andhavingasquareimpregnablebibinfront，thatwasstuckfullofpinsandneedles。Shemadeitapowerfulmeritinherself，andastrongreproachagainstJoe，thatsheworethisapronsomuch。ThoughIreallyseenoreasonwhysheshouldhavewornitatall:orwhy，ifshedidwearitatall，sheshouldnothavetakenitoff，everydayofherlife。
　　Joe'sforgeadjoinedourhouse，whichwasawoodenhouse，asmanyofthedwellingsinourcountrywere-mostofthem，atthattime。WhenI
　　ranhomefromthechurchyard，theforgewasshutup，andJoewassittingaloneinthekitchen。JoeandIbeingfellow-sufferers，andhavingconfidencesassuch，Joeimpartedaconfidencetome，themomentIraisedthelatchofthedoorandpeepedinathimoppositetoit，sittinginthechimneycorner。
　　`MrsJoehasbeenoutadozentimes，lookingforyou，Pip。Andshe'soutnow，makingitabaker'sdozen。'
　　`Isshe？'
　　`Yes，Pip，'saidJoe；`andwhat'sworse，she'sgotTicklerwithher。'
　　Atthisdismalintelligence，Itwistedtheonlybuttononmywaistcoatroundandround，andlookedingreatdepressionatthefire。Ticklerwasawax-endedpieceofcane，wornsmoothbycollisionwithmytickledframe。
　　`Shesotdown，'saidJoe，`andshegotup，andshemadeagrabatTickler，andsheRam-pagedout。That'swhatshedid，'saidJoe，slowlyclearingthefirebetweenthelowerbarswiththepoker，andlookingatit:`sheRam-pagedout，Pip。'
　　`Hasshebeengonelong，Joe？'Ialwaystreatedhimasalargerspeciesofchild，andasnomorethanmyequal。
　　`Well，'saidJoe，glancingupattheDutchclock，`she'sbeenontheRam-page，thislastspell，aboutfiveminutes，Pip。She'sacoming！Getbehindthedoor，oldchap，andhavethejack-towelbetwixtyou。'
　　Itooktheadvice。Mysister，MrsJoe，throwingthedoorwideopen，andfindinganobstructionbehindit，immediatelydivinedthecause，andappliedTicklertoitsfurtherinvestigation。Sheconcludedbythrowingme-Ioftenservedasaconnubialmissile-atJoe，who，gladtogetholdofmeonanyterms，passedmeonintothechimneyandquietlyfencedmeuptherewithhisgreatleg。
　　`Wherehaveyoubeen，youyoungmonkey？'saidMrsJoe，stampingherfoot。`Tellmedirectlywhatyou'vebeendoingtowearmeawaywithfretandfrightandworrit，orI'dhaveyououtofthatcornerifyouwasfiftyPips，andhewasfivehundredGargerys。'
　　`Ihaveonlybeentothechurchyard，'saidI，frommystool，cryingandrubbingmyself。
　　`Churchyard！'repeatedmysister。`Ifitwarn'tformeyou'dhavebeentothechurchyardlongago，andstayedthere。Whobroughtyouupbyhand？'
　　`Youdid，'saidI。
　　`AndwhydidIdoit，Ishouldliketoknow？'exclaimedmysister。
　　Iwhimpered，`Idon'tknow。'
　　`Idon't！saidmysister。`I'dneverdoitagain！Iknowthat。
　　ImaytrulysayI'veneverhadthisapronofmineoff，sincebornyouwere。
　　It'sbadenoughtobeablacksmith'swifeandhimaGargerywithoutbeingyourmother。'
　　MythoughtsstrayedfromthatquestionasIlookeddisconsolatelyatthefire。For，thefugitiveoutonthemarsheswiththeironedleg，themysteriousyoungman，thefile，thefood，andthedreadfulpledgeIwasundertocommitalarcenyonthoseshelteringpremises，rosebeforemeintheavengingcoals。
　　`Hah！'saidMrsJoe，restoringTicklertohisstation。`Churchyard，indeed！Youmaywellsaychurchyard，youtwo。'Oneofus，by-the-bye，hadnotsaiditatall。`You'lldrivemetothechurchyardbetwixtyou，oneofthesedays，andoh，apr-r-reciouspairyou'dbewithoutme！'
　　Assheappliedherselftosetthetea-things，Joepeepeddownatmeoverhisleg，asifhewerementallycastingmeandhimselfup，andcalculatingwhatkindofpairwepracticallyshouldmake，underthegrievouscircumstancesforeshadowed。Afterthat，hesatfeelinghisright-sideflaxencurlsandwhisker，andfollowingMrsJoeaboutwithhisblueeyes，ashismanneralwayswasatsquallytimes。
　　Mysisterhadatrenchantwayofcuttingourbread-and-butterforus，thatnevervaried。First，withherlefthandshejammedtheloafhardandfastagainstherbib-whereitsometimesgotapinintoit，andsometimesaneedle，whichweafterwardsgotintoourmouths。Thenshetooksomebutternottoomuchonaknifeandspreaditontheloaf，inanapothecarykindofway，asifsheweremakingaplaister-usingbothsidesoftheknifewithaslappingdexterity，andtrimmingandmouldingthebutteroffroundthecrust。Then，shegavetheknifeafinalsmartwipeontheedgeoftheplaister，andthensawedaverythickroundofftheloaf:whichshefinally，beforeseparatingfromtheloaf，hewedintotwohalves，ofwhichJoegotone，andItheother。
　　Onthepresentoccasion，thoughIwashungry，Idarednoteatmyslice。
　　IfeltthatImusthavesomethinginreserveformydreadfulacquaintance，andhisallythestillmoredreadfulyoungman。IknewMrs。Joe'shousekeepingtobeofthestrictestkind，andthatmylarcenousresearchesmightfindnothingavailableinthesafe。ThereforeIresolvedtoputmyhunkofbread-and-butterdownthelegofmytrousers。
　　Theeffortofresolutionnecessarytotheachievementofthispurpose，Ifoundtobequiteawful。ItwasasifIhadtomakeupmymindtoleapfromthetopofahighhouse，orplungeintoagreatdepthofwater。AnditwasmadethemoredifficultbytheunconsciousJoe。Inouralready-mentionedfreemasonryasfellow-sufferers，andinhisgood-naturedcompanionshipwithme，itwasoureveninghabittocomparethewaywebitthroughoutslices，bysilentlyholdingthemuptoeachother'sadmirationnowandthen-whichstimulatedustonewexertions。To-night，Joeseveraltimesinvitedme，bythedisplayofhisfast-diminishingslice，toenteruponourusualfriendlycompetition；buthefoundme，eachtime，withmyyellowmugofteaononeknee，andmyuntouchedbread-and-butterontheother。
　　Atlast，IdesperatelyconsideredthatthethingIcontemplatedmustbedone，andthatithadbestbedoneintheleastimprobablemannerconsistentwiththecircumstances。ItookadvantageofamomentwhenJoehadjustlookedatme，andgotmybread-and-butterdownmyleg。
　　Joewasevidentlymadeuncomfortablebywhathesupposedtobemylossofappetite，andtookathoughtfulbiteoutofhisslice，whichhedidn'tseemtoenjoy。Heturneditaboutinhismouthmuchlongerthanusual，ponderingoveritagooddeal，andafterallgulpeditdownlikeapill。
　　Hewasabouttotakeanotherbite，andhadjustgothisheadononesideforagoodpurchaseonit，whenhiseyefellonme，andhesawthatmybread-and-butterwasgone。
　　ThewonderandconsternationwithwhichJoestoppedonthethresholdofhisbiteandstaredatme，weretooevidenttoescapemysister'sobservation。
　　`What'sthematternow？'saidshe，smartly，assheputdownhercup。
　　`Isay，youknow！'mutteredJoe，shakinghisheadatmeinveryseriousremonstrance。`Pip，oldchap！You'lldoyourselfamischief。It'llsticksomewhere。Youcan'thavechawedit，Pip。'
　　`What'sthematternow？'repeatedmysister，moresharplythanbefore。
　　`Ifyoucancoughanytrifleonitup，Pip，I'drecommendyoutodoit，'saidJoe，allaghast。`Mannersismanners，butstillyourelth'syourelth。'
　　Bythistime，mysisterwasquitedesperate，soshepouncedonJoe，and，takinghimbythetwowhiskers，knockedhisheadforalittlewhileagainstthewallbehindhim:whileIsatinthecorner，lookingguiltilyon。
　　`Now，perhapsyou'llmentionwhat'sthematter，'saidmysister，outofbreath，`youstaringgreatstuckpig。'
　　Joelookedatherinahelplessway；thentookahelplessbite，andlookedatmeagain。
　　`Youknow，Pip，'saidJoe，solemnly，withhislastbiteinhischeekandspeakinginaconfidentialvoice，asifwetwowerequitealone，`youandmeisalwaysfriends，andI'dbethelasttotelluponyou，anytime。
　　Butsucha——'hemovedhischairandlookedaboutthefloorbetweenus，andthenagainatme-`suchamostoncommonBoltasthat！'
　　`Beenboltinghisfood，hashe？'criedmysister。
　　`Youknow，oldchap，'saidJoe，lookingatme，andnotatMrsJoe，withhisbitestillinhischeek，`IBolted，myself，whenIwasyourage-frequent-andasaboyI'vebeenamongamanyBolters；butIneverseeyourBoltingequalyet，Pip，andit'samercyyouain'tBolteddead。'
　　Mysistermadeadiveatme，andfishedmeupbythehair:sayingnothingmorethantheawfulwords，`Youcomealongandbedosed。'
　　SomemedicalbeasthadrevivedTar-waterinthosedaysasafinemedicine，andMrsJoealwayskeptasupplyofitinthecupboard；havingabeliefinitsvirtuescorrespondenttoitsnastiness。Atthebestoftimes，somuchofthiselixirwasadministeredtomeasachoicerestorative，thatIwasconsciousofgoingabout，smellinglikeanewfence。Onthisparticulareveningtheurgencyofmycasedemandedapintofthismixture，whichwaspoureddownmythroat，formygreatercomfort，whileMrsJoeheldmyheadunderherarm，asabootwouldbeheldinaboot-jack。Joegotoffwithhalfapint；butwasmadetoswallowthatmuchtohisdisturbance，ashesatslowlymunchingandmeditatingbeforethefire，`becausehehadaturn。'Judgingfrommyself，Ishouldsayhecertainlyhadaturnafterwards，ifhehadhadnonebefore。
　　Conscienceisadreadfulthingwhenitaccusesmanorboy；butwhen，inthecaseofaboy，thatsecretburdenco-operateswithanothersecretburdendownthelegofhistrousers，itisasIcantestifyagreatpunishment。
　　TheguiltyknowledgethatIwasgoingtorobMrsJoe-IneverthoughtIwasgoingtorobJoe，forIneverthoughtofanyofthehousekeepingpropertyashis-unitedtothenecessityofalwayskeepingonehandonmybread-and-butterasIsat，orwhenIwasorderedaboutthekitchenonanysmallerrand，almostdrovemeoutofmymind。Then，asthemarshwindsmadethefireglowandflare，IthoughtIheardthevoiceoutside，ofthemanwiththeirononhislegwhohadswornmetosecrecy，declaringthathecouldn'tandwouldn'tstarveuntilto-morrow，butmustbefednow。Atothertimes，Ithought，Whatiftheyoungmanwhowaswithsomuchdifficultyrestrainedfromimbruinghishandsinme，shouldyieldtoaconstitutionalimpatience，orshouldmistakethetime，andshouldthinkhimselfaccreditedtomyheartandliverto-night，insteadofto-morrow！Ifeveranybody'shairstoodonendwithterror，minemusthavedonesothen。But，perhaps，nobody'severdid？
　　IwasChristmasEve，andIhadtostirthepuddingfornextday，withacopper-stick，fromseventoeightbytheDutchclock。Itrieditwiththeloaduponmylegandthatmademethinkafreshofthemanwiththeloadonhisleg，andfoundthetendencyofexercisetobringthebread-and-butteroutatmyankle，quiteunmanageable。Happily，Islippedaway，anddepositedthatpartofmyconscienceinmygarretbedroom。
　　`Hark！'saidI，whenIhaddonemystirring，andwastakingafinalwarminthechimneycornerbeforebeingsentuptobed；`wasthatgreatguns，Joe？'
　　`Ah！'saidJoe。`There'sanotherconwictoff。'
　　`Whatdoesthatmean，Joe？'saidI。
　　MrsJoe，whoalwaystookexplanationsuponherself，said，snappishly，`Escaped。Escaped。'AdministeringthedefinitionlikeTar-water。
　　WhileMrsJoesatwithherheadbendingoverherneedlework，IputmymouthintotheformsofsayingtoJoe，`What'saconvict？'Joeputhismouthintotheformsofreturningsuchahighlyelaborateanswer，thatIcouldmakeoutnothingofitbutthesingleword`Pip。'
　　`Therewasaconwictofflastnight，'saidJoe，aloud，`aftersun-set-gun。
　　Andtheyfiredwarningofhim。Andnow，itappearsthey'refiringwarningofanother。'
　　`Who'sfiring？'saidI。
　　`Dratthatboy，'interposedmysister，frowningatmeoverherwork，`whataquestionerheis。Asknoquestions，andyou'llbetoldnolies。'
　　Iwasnotverypolitetoherself，Ithought，toimplythatIshouldbetoldliesbyher，evenifIdidaskquestions。Butsheneverwaspolite，unlesstherewascompany。
　　Atthispoint，Joegreatlyaugmentedmycuriositybytakingtheutmostpainstoopenhismouthverywide，andtoputitintotheformofawordthatlookedtomelike`sulks。'Therefore，InaturallypointedtoMrsJoe，andputmymouthintotheformofsaying`her？'ButJoewouldn'thearofthat，atall，andagainopenedhismouthverywide，andshooktheformofamostemphaticwordoutofit。ButIcouldmakenothingoftheword。
　　`MrsJoe，'saidI，asalastresource，`Ishouldliketoknow-ifyouwouldn'tmuchmind-wherethefiringcomesfrom？'
　　`Lordblesstheboy！'exclaimedmysister，asifshedidn'tquitemeanthat，butratherthecontrary。`FromtheHulks！'
　　`Oh-h！'saidI，lookingatJoe。`Hulks！'
　　Joegaveareproachfulcough，asmuchastosay，`Well，Itoldyouso。'
　　`Andpleasewhat'sHulks？'saidI。
　　`That'sthewaywiththisboy！'exclaimedmysister，pointingmeoutwithherneedleandthread，andshakingherheadatme。`Answerhimonequestion，andhe'llaskyouadozendirectly。Hulksareprison-ships，right'crossth'meshes。'Wealwaysusedthatnameformarshes，inourcountry。
　　`Iwonderwho'sputintoprison-ships，andwhythey'reputthere？'saidI，inageneralway，andwithquietdesperation。
　　ItwastoomuchforMrsJoe，whoimmediatelyrose。`Itellyouwhat，youngfellow，'saidshe，`Ididn'tbringyouupbyhandtobadgerpeople'slivesout。Itwouldbeblametome，andnotpraise，ifIhad。PeopleareputintheHulksbecausetheymurder，andbecausetheyrob，andforge，anddoallsortsofbad；andtheyalwaysbeginbyaskingquestions。Now，yougetalongtobed！'
　　Iwasneverallowedacandletolightmetobed，and，asIwentupstairsinthedark，withmyheadtingling-fromMrsJoe'sthimblehavingplayedthetambourineuponit，toaccompanyherlastwords-IfeltfearfullysensibleofthegreatconveniencethattheHulkswerehandyforme。Iwasclearlyonmywaythere。Ihadbegunbyaskingquestions，andIwasgoingtorobMrsJoe。
　　Sincethattime，whichisfarenoughawaynow，Ihaveoftenthoughtthatfewpeopleknowwhatsecrecythereisintheyoung，underterror。
　　Nomatterhowunreasonabletheterror，sothatitbeterror。Iwasinmortalterroroftheyoungmanwhowantedmyheartandliver；Iwasinmortalterrorofmyinterlocutorwiththeironedleg；Iwasinmortalterrorofmyself，fromwhomanawfulpromisehadbeenextracted；Ihadnohopeofdeliverancethroughmyall-powerfulsister，whorepulsedmeateveryturn；
　　IamafraidtothinkofwhatImighthavedone，onrequirement，inthesecrecyofmyterror。
　　IfIsleptatallthatnight，itwasonlytoimaginemyselfdriftingdowntheriveronastrongspring-tide，totheHulks；aghostlypiratecallingouttomethroughaspeaking-trumpet，asIpassedthegibbet-station，thatIhadbettercomeashoreandbehangedthereatonce，andnotputitoff。Iwasafraidtosleep，evenifIhadbeeninclined，forIknewthatatthefirstfaintdawnofmorningImustrobthepantry。Therewasnodoingitinthenight，fortherewasnogettingalightbyeasyfrictionthen；tohavegotone，Imusthavestruckitoutofflintandsteel，andhavemadeanoiseliketheverypiratehimselfrattlinghischains。
　　Assoonasthegreatblackvelvetpalloutsidemylittlewindowwasshotwithgrey，Igotupandwentdownstairs；everyboardupontheway，andeverycrackineveryboard，callingafterme，`Stopthief！'and`Getup，MrsJoe！'Inthepantry，whichwasfarmoreabundantlysuppliedthanusual，owingtotheseason，Iwasverymuchalarmed，byaharehangingupbytheheels，whomIratherthoughtIcaught，whenmybackwashalfturned，winking。Ihadnotimeforverification，notimeforselection，notimeforanything，forIhadnotimetospare。Istolesomebread，somerindofcheese，abouthalfajarofmincemeatwhichItiedupinmypocket-handkerchiefwithmylastnight'sslice，somebrandyfromastonebottlewhichIdecantedintoaglassbottleIhadsecretlyusedformakingthatintoxicatingfluid，Spanish-liquorice-water，upinmyroom:dilutingthestonebottlefromajuginthekitchencupboard，ameatbonewithverylittleonit，andabeautifulroundcompactporkpie。Iwasnearlygoingawaywithoutthepie，butIwastemptedtomountuponashelf，tolookwhatitwasthatwasputawaysocarefullyinacoveredearthenwaredishinacorner，andIfounditwasthepie，andItookit，inthehopethatitwasnotintendedforearlyuse，andwouldnotbemissedforsometime。
　　Therewasadoorinthekitchen，communicatingwiththeforge；Iunlockedandunboltedthatdoor，andgotafilefromamongJoe'stools。Then，I
　　putthefasteningsasIhadfoundthem，openedthedooratwhichIhadenteredwhenIranhomelastnight，shutit，andranforthemistymarshes。
　　Chapter3
　　ITwasarimymorning，andverydamp。Ihadseenthedamplyingontheoutsideofmylittlewindow，asifsomegoblinhadbeencryingthereallnight，andusingthewindowforapocket-handkerchief。Now，Isawthedamplyingonthebarehedgesandsparegrass，likeacoarsersortofspiders'
　　webs；hangingitselffromtwigtotwigandbladetoblade。Oneveryrailandgate，wetlayclammy；andthemarsh-mistwassothick，thatthewoodenfingeronthepostdirectingpeopletoourvillage-adirectionwhichtheyneveraccepted，fortheynevercamethere-wasinvisibletomeuntilIwasquitecloseunderit。Then，asIlookedupatit，whileitdripped，itseemedtomyoppressedconsciencelikeaphantomdevotingmetotheHulks。
　　ThemistwasheavieryetwhenIgotoutuponthemarshes，sothatinsteadofmyrunningateverything，everythingseemedtorunatme。Thiswasverydisagreeabletoaguiltymind。Thegatesanddykesandbankscameburstingatmethroughthemist，asiftheycriedasplainlyascouldbe，`AboywithSomebody-else'sportpie！Stophis！'Thecattlecameuponmewithlikesuddenness，staringoutoftheireyes，andsteamingoutoftheirnostrils，`Holloa，youngthief！'Oneblackox，withawhitecravaton-whoevenhadtomyawakenedconsciencesomethingofaclericalair-fixedmesoobstinatelywithhiseyes，andmovedhisbluntheadroundinsuchanaccusatorymannerasImovedround，thatIblubberedouttohim，`Icouldn'thelpit，sir！Itwasn'tformyselfItookit！'Uponwhichheputdownhishead，blewacouldofsmokeoutofhisnose，andvanishedwithakick-upofhishind-legsandaflourishofhistail。
　　Allthistime，Iwasgettingontowardstheriver；buthoweverfastIwent，Icouldn'twarmmyfeet，towhichthedampcoldseemedriveted，astheironwasrivetedtothelegofthemanIwasrunningtomeet。I
　　knewmywaytotheBattery，prettystraight，forIhadbeendownthereonaSundaywithJoe，andJoe，sittingonanoldgun，hadtoldmethatwhenIwas'prenticetohimregularlybound，wewouldhavesuchLarksthere！
　　However，intheconfusionofthemist，Ifoundmyselfatlasttoofartotheright，andconsequentlyhadtotrybackalongtheriver-side，onthebankofloosestonesabovethemudandthestakesthatstakedthetideout。Makingmywayalongherewithalldespatch，IhadjustcrossedaditchwhichIknewtobeveryneartheBattery，andhadjustscrambledupthemoundbeyondtheditch，whenIsawthemansittingbeforeme。Hisbackwastowardsme，andhehadhisarmsfolded，andwasnoddingforward，heavywithsleep。
　　IthoughthewouldbemoregladifIcameuponhimwithhisbreakfast，inthatunexpectedmanner，soIwentforwardsoftlyandtouchedhimontheshoulder。Heinstantlyjumpedup，anditwasnotthesameman，butanotherman！
　　Andyetthismanwasdressedincoarsegrey，too，andhadagreatirononhisleg，andwaslame，andhoarse，andcold，andwaseverythingthattheothermanwas；exceptthathehadnotthesameface，andhadaflatbroad-brimmedlow-crownedfeltthaton。Allthis，Isawinamoment，forIhadonlyamomenttoseeitin:hesworeanoathatme，madeahitatme-itwasaroundweakblowthatmissedmeandalmostknockedhimselfdown，foritmadehimstumble-andthenheranthemist，stumblingtwiceashewent，andIlosthim。
　　`It'stheyoungman！'Ithought，feelingmyheartshootasIidentifiedhim。IdaresayIshouldhavefeltapaininmyliver，too，ifIhadknownwhereitwas。
　　IwassoonattheBattery，afterthat，andtherewastherightman-hugginghimselfandlimpingtoandfro，asifhehadneverallnightleftoffhuggingandlimping-waitingforme。Hewasawfullycold，tobesure。Ihalfexpectedtoseehimdropdownbeforemyfaceanddieofdeadlycold。Hiseyeslookedsoawfullyhungry，too，thatwhenIhandedhimthefileandhelaiditdownonthegrass，itoccurredtomehewouldhavetriedtoeatit，ifhehadnotseenmybundle。Hedidnotturnmeupsidedown，thistime，togetatwhatIhad，butleftmerightsideupwardswhileIopenedthebundleandemptiedmypockets。
　　`What'sinthebottle，boy？'saidhe。
　　`Brandy，'saidI。
　　Hewasalreadyhandingmincemeatdownhisthroatinthemostcuriousmanner-morelikeamanwhowasputtingitawaysomewhereinaviolenthurry，thanamanwhowaseatingit-butheleftofftotakesomeoftheliquor。Heshiveredallthewhile，soviolently，thatitwasquiteasmuchashecoulddotokeeptheneckofthebottlebetweenhisteeth，withoutbitingitoff。
　　`Ithinkyouhavegottheague，'saidI。
　　`I'mmuchofyouropinion，boy，'saidhe。
　　`It'sbadabouthere，'Itoldhim。`You'vebeenlyingoutonthemeshes，andthey'redreadfulaguish。Rheumatictoo。'
　　`I'lleatmybreakfastaforethey'rethedeathofme，'saidhe。`I'ddothat，ifIwasgoingtobestrunguptothattheregallowsasthereisoverthere，directlyafterwards。I'llbeattheshiverssofar，I'llbetyou。'
　　Hewasgobblingmincemeat，meatbone，bread，cheese，andporkpie，allatonce:staringdistrustfullywhilehedidsoatthemistallroundus，andoftenstopping-evenstoppinghisjaws-tolisten。Somerealorfanciedsound，someclinkupontheriverorbreathingofbeastuponthemarsh，nowgavehimastart，andhesaid，suddenly:
　　`You'renotadeceivingimp？Youbroughtnoonewithyou？'
　　`No，sir！No！'
　　`Norgiv'noonetheofficetofollowyou？'
　　`No！'
　　`Well，'saidhe，`Ibelieveyou。You'dbebutafierceyounghoundindeed，ifatyourtimeoflifeyoucouldhelptohuntawretchedwarmint，huntedasneardeathanddunghillasthispoorwretchedwarmintis！'
　　Somethingclickedinhisthroat，asifhasworksinhimlikeaclock，andwasgoingtostrike。Andhesmearedhisraggedroughsleeveoverhiseyes。
　　Pityinghisdesolation，andwatchinghimashegraduallysettleddownuponthepie，Imadeboldtosay，`Iamgladyouenjoyit。'
　　`Didyouspeak？'
　　`IsaidIwasgladyouenjoyedit。'
　　`Thankee，myboy。Ido。'
　　Ihadoftenwatchedalargedogofourseatinghisfood；andInownoticedadecidedsimilaritybetweenthedog'swayofeating，andtheman's。Themantookstrongsharpsuddenbites，justlikethedog。Heswallowed，orrathersnappedup，everymouthful，toosoonandtoofast；andhelookedsidewayshereandtherewhileheate，asifhethoughttherewasdangerineverydirection，ofsomebody'scomingtotakethepieaway。Hewasaltogethertoounsettledinhismindoverit，toappreciateitcomfortably，Ithought，ortohaveanybodytodinewithhim，withoutmakingachopwithhisjawsatthevisitor。Inallofwhichparticularshewasverylikethedog。
　　`Iamafraidyouwon'tleaveanyofitforhim，'saidI，timidly；afterasilenceduringwhichIhadhesitatedastothepolitenessofmakingtheremark。`There'snomoretobegotwherethatcamefrom。'Itwasthecertaintyofthisfactthatimpelledmetoofferthehint。
　　`Leaveanyforhim？Who'shim？'saidmyfriend，stoppinginhiscrunchingofpie-crust。
　　`Theyoungman。Thatyouspokeof。Thatwashidwithyou。'
　　`Ohah！'hereturned，withsomethinglikeagrufflaugh。`Him？Yes，yes！Hedon'twantnowittles。'
　　`Ithoughthelookedasifhedid，'saidI。
　　Themanstoppedeating，andregardedmewiththekeenestscrutinyandthegreatestsurprise。
　　`Looked？When？'
　　`Justnow。'
　　`Where？'
　　`Yonder，'saidI，pointing；`overthere，whereIfoundhimnoddingasleep，andthoughtitwasyou。'
　　Heheldmebythecollarandstaredatmeso，thatIbegantothinkhisfirstideaaboutcuttingmythroathadrevived。
　　`Dressedlikeyou，youknow，onlywithahat，'Iexplained，trembling；
　　`and-and'-Iwasveryanxioustoputthisdelicately-`andwith-thesamereasonforwantingtoborrowafile。Didn'tyouhearthecannonlastnight？'
　　`Then，therewasfiring！'hesaidtohimself。
　　`Iwonderyoushouldn'thavebeensureofthat，'Ireturned，`forwehearditupathome，andthat'sfurtheraway，andwewereshutinbesides。'
　　`Why，seenow！'saidhe。`Whenaman'saloneontheseflats，withalightheadandalightstomach，perishingofcoldandwant，hehearsnothin'
　　allnight，butgunsfiring，andvoicescalling。Hears？Heseesthesoldiers，withtheirredcoatslightedupbythetorchescarriedafore，closinginroundhim。Hearshisnumbercalled，hearshimselfchallenged，hearstherattleofthemuskets，hearstheorders"""Makeready！Present！Coverhimsteady，men！"andislaidhandson-andthere'snothin'！Why，ifIseeonepursuingpartylastnight-comingupinorder，Damn'em，withtheirtramp，tramp-Iseeahundred。Andastofiring！Why，Iseethemistshakewiththecannon，arteritwasbroadday-Butthisman；'hehadsaidalltherest，asifhehadforgottenmybeingthere；`didyounoticeanythinginhim？'
　　`Hehadabadlybruisedface，'saidI，recallingwhatIhardlyknewIknew。
　　`Nothere？'exclaimedtheman，strikinghisleftcheekmercilessly，withtheflatofhishand。
　　`Yes，there！'
　　`Whereishe？'Hecrammedwhatlittlefoodwasleft，intothebreastofhisgreyjacket。`Showmethewayhewent。I'llpullhimdown，likeabloodhound。Cursethisirononmysoreleg！Giveusholdofthefile，boy。'
　　Iindicatedinwhatdirectionthemisthadshroudedtheotherman，andhelookedupatitforaninstant。Buthewasdownontherankwetgrass，filingathisironlikeamadman，andnotmindingmeormindinghisownleg，whichhasanoldchafeuponitandwasbloody，butwhichhehandledasroughlyasifithadnomorefeelinginitthanthefile。Iwasverymuchafraidofhimagain，nowthathehadworkedhimselfintothisfiercehurry，andIwaslikewiseverymuchafraidofkeepingawayfromhomeanylonger。ItoldhimImustgo，buthetooknonotice，soIthoughtthebestthingIcoulddowastoslipoff。ThelastIsawofhim，hisheadwasbentoverhiskneeandhewasworkinghardathisfetter，mutteringimpatientimprecationsatitandathisleg。ThelastIheardofhim，Istoppedinthemisttolisten，andthefilewasstillgoing。
　　Chapter4
　　IFULLYexpectedtofindaConstableinthekitchen，waitingtotakemeup。ButnotonlywastherenoConstablethere，butnodiscoveryhadyetbeenmadeoftherobbery。MrsJoewasprodigiouslybusyingettingthehousereadyforthefestivitiesoftheday，andJoehadbeenputuponthekitchendoor-steptokeephimoutofthedust-pan-anarticleintowhichhisdestinyalwaysledhimsoonerorlater，whenmysisterwasvigorouslyreapingthefloorsofherestablishment。
　　`Andwherethedeuceha'youbeen？'wasMrsJoe'sChristmassalutation，whenIandmyconscienceshowedourselves。
　　IsaidIhadbeendowntoheartheCarols。`Ah！well！'observedMrsJoe。`Youmightha'doneworse。'Notadoubtofthat，Ithought。
　　`PerhapsifIwarn'tablacksmith'swife，andwhat'sthesamething
　　aslavewithherapronneveroff，IshouldhavebeentoheartheCarols，'saidMrsJoe。`I'amratherpartialtoCarols，myself，andthat'sthebestofreasonsformyneverhearingany。'
　　Joe，whohadventuredintothekitchenaftermeasthedust-panhadretiredbeforeus，drewthebackofhishandacrosshisnosewithaconciliatoryairwhenMrsJoedartedalookathim，and，whenhereyeswerewithdrawn，secretlycrossedhistwoforefingers，andexhibitedthemtome，asourtokenthatMrsJoewasinacrosstemper。Thiswassomuchhernormalstate，thatJoeandIwouldoften，forweekstogether，be，astoourfingers，likemonumentalCrusadersastotheirlegs。
　　Weweretohaveasuperbdinner，consistingofalegofpickledporkandgreens，andapairofroaststuffedfowls。Ahandsomemince-piehadbeenmadeyesterdaymorningwhichaccountedforthemincemeatnotbeingmissed，andthepuddingwasalreadyontheboil。Theseextensivearrangementsoccasionedustobecutoffunceremoniouslyinrespectofbreakfast；`forIan't，'saidMrsJoe，`Ian'tagoingtohavenoformalcrammingandbustingandwashingupnow，withwhatI'vegotbeforeme，Ipromiseyou！'
　　So，wehadourslicesservedout，asifweweretwothousandtroopsonaforcedmarchinsteadofamanandboyathome；andwetookgulpsofmilkandwater，withapologeticcountenances，fromajugonthedresser。
　　Inthemeantime，MrsJoeputcleanwhitecurtainsup，andtackedanewflowered-flounceacrossthewidechimneytoreplacetheoldone，anduncoveredthelittlestateparlouracrossthepassage，whichwasneveruncoveredatanyothertime，butpassedtherestoftheyearinacoolhazeofsilverpaper，whichevenextendedtothefourlittlewhitecrockerypoodlesonthemantelshelf，eachwithablacknoseandabasketofflowersinhismouth，andeachthecounterpartoftheother。MrsJoewasaverycleanhousekeeper，buthadanexquisiteartofmakinghercleanlinessmoreuncomfortableandunacceptablethandirtitself。CleanlinessisnexttoGodliness，andsomepeopledothesamebytheirreligion。
　　Mysisterhavingsomuchtodo，wasgoingtochurchvicariously；thatistosay，JoeandIweregoing。Inhisworkingclothes，Joewasawell-knitcharacteristic-lookingblacksmith；inhisholidayclothes，hewasmorelikeascarecrowingoodcircumstances，thananythingelse。Nothingthatheworethen，fittedhimorseemedtobelongtohim；andeverythingthatheworethen，grazedhim。Onthepresentfestiveoccasionheemergedfromhisroom，whentheblithebellsweregoing，thepictureofmisery，inafullsuitofSundaypenitentials。Astome，IthinkmysistermusthavehadsomegeneralideathatIwasayoungoffenderwhomanAccoucheurPolicemenhadtakenuponmybirthdayanddeliveredovertoher，tobedealtwithaccordingtotheoutragedmajestyofthelaw。IwasalwaystreatedasifIhadinsistedonbeingborn，inoppositiontothedictatesofreason，religion，andmorality，andagainstthedissuadingargumentsofmybestfriends。EvenwhenIwastakentohaveanewsuitofclothes，thetailorhadorderstomakethemlikeakindofReformatory，andonnoaccounttoletmehavethefreeuseofmylimbs。
　　JoeandIgoingtochurch，therefore，musthavebeenamovingspectacleforcompassionateminds。Yet，whatIsufferedoutside，wasnothingtowhatIunderwentwithin。TheterrorsthathadassailedmewheneverMrsJoehadgonenearthepantry，oroutoftheroom，wereonlytobeequalledbytheremorsewithwhichmyminddweltonwhatmyhandshaddone。Undertheweightofmywickedsecret，IponderedwhethertheChurchwouldbepowerfulenoughtoshieldmefromthevengeanceoftheterribleyoungman，ifIdivulgedtothatestablishment。Iconceivedtheideathatthetimewhenthebannswerereadandwhentheclergymansaid，`Yearenowtodeclareit！'wouldbethetimeformetoriseandproposeaprivateconferenceinthevestry。
　　IamfarfrombeingsurethatImightnothaveastonishedoursmallcongregationbyresortingtothisextrememeasure，butforitsbeingChristmasDayandnoSunday。
　　MrWopsle，theclerkatchurch，wastodinewithus；andMrHubblethewheelwrightandMrsHubble；andUnclePumblechookJoe'suncle，butMrsJoeappropriatedhim，whowasawell-to-docorn-chandlerinthenearesttown，anddrovehisownchaise-cart。Thedinnerhourwashalf-pastone。
　　WhenJoeandIgothome，wefoundthetablelaid，andMrsJoedressed，andthedinnerdressing，andthefrontdoorunlockeditneverwasatanyothertimeforthecompanytoenterby，andeverythingmostsplendid。
　　Andstill，notawordoftherobbery。
　　Thetimecame，withoutbringingwithitanyrelieftomyfeelings，andthecompanycame。Mr。Wopsle，unitedtoaRomannoseandalargeshiningbaldforehead，hadadeepvoicewhichhewasuncommonlyproudof；indeeditwasunderstoodamonghisacquaintancethatifyoucouldonlygivehimhishead，hewouldreadtheclergymanintofits；hehimselfconfessedthatiftheChurchwas`thrownopen，'meaningtocompetition，hewouldnotdespairofmakinghismarkinit。TheChurchnotbeing`thrownopen，'hewas，asIhavesaid，ourclerk。ButthepunishedtheAmenstremendously；andwhenhegaveoutthepsalm-alwaysgivingthewholeverse-helookedallroundthecongregationfirst，asmuchastosay，`Youhaveheardmyfriendoverhead；
　　obligemewithyouropinionofthisstyle！'
　　Iopenedthedoortothecompany-makingbelievethatitwasahabitofourstoopenthatdoor-andIopeneditfirsttoMrWopsle，nexttoMrandMrsHubble，andlastofalltoUnclePumblechook。N。B。Iwasnotallowedtocallhimuncle，undertheseverestpenalties。
　　`MrsJoe，'saidUnclePumblechook:alargehard-breathingmiddle-agedslowman，withamouthlikeafish，dullstaringeyes，andsandyhairstandinguprightonhishead，sothathelookedasifhehadjustbeenallbutchocked，andhadthatmomentcometo；`Ihavebroughtyou，asthecomplimentsoftheseason-Ihavebroughtyou，Mum，abottleofsherrywine-andIhavebroughtyou，Mum，abottleofportwine。'
　　EveryChristmasDayhepresentedhimself，asaprofoundnovelty，withexactlythesamewords，andcarryingthetwobottleslikedumb-bells。EveryChristmasDay，MrsJoereplied，asshenowreplied，`Oh，Un-clePum-
　　ble-chook！ThisISkind！'EveryChristmasDay，heretorted，ashenowretorted，`It'snomorethanyourmerits。Andnowareyouallbobbish，andhow'sSixpennorthofhalfpence？'meaningme。
　　Wedinedontheseoccasionsinthekitchen，andadjourned，forthenutsandorangesandapples，totheparlour；whichwasachangeverylikeJoe'schangefromhisworkingclothestohisSundaydress。Mysisterwasuncommonlylivelyonthepresentoccasion，andindeedwasgenerallymoregraciousinthesocietyofMrsHubblethaninothercompany。IrememberMrsHubbleasalittlecurlysharp-edgedpersoninsky-blue，whoheldaconventionallyjuvenileposition，becauseshehadmarriedMrHubble-Idon'tknowatwhatremoteperiod-whenshewasmuchyoungerthanhe。IrememberMrHubbleasatoughhigh-shoulderedstoopingoldman，ofasawdustyfragrance，withhislegsextraordinarilywideapart:sothatinmyshortdaysIalwayssawsomemilesofopencountrybetweenthemwhenImethimcomingupthelane。
　　AmongthisgoodcompanyIshouldhavefeltmyself，evenifIhadn'trobbedthepantry，inafalseposition。NotbecauseIwassqueezedinatanacuteangleofthetable-cloth，withthetableinmychest，andthePumblechookianelbowinmyeye，norbecauseIwasnotallowedtospeakIdidn'twanttospeak，norbecauseIwasregaledwiththescalytipsofthedrumsticksofthefowls，andwiththoseobscurecornersofporkofwhichthepig，whenliving，hadhadtheleastreasontobevain。No；
　　Ishouldnothavemindedthat，iftheywouldonlyhaveleftmealone。Buttheywouldn'tleavemealone。Theyseemedtothinktheopportunitylost，iftheyfailedtopointtheconversationatme，everynowandthen，andstickthepointintome。ImighthavebeenanunfortunatelittlebullinaSpanisharena，Igotsosmartinglytouchedupbythesemoralgoads。
　　Itbeganthemomentwesatdowntodinner。MrWopslesaidgracewiththeatricaldeclamation-asitnowappearstome，somethinglikeareligiouscrossoftheGhostinHamletwithRichardtheThird-andendedwiththeveryproperaspirationthatwemightbetrulygrateful。Uponwhichmysisterfixedmewithhereye，andsaid，inalowreproachfulvoice，`Doyouhearthat？Begrateful。'
　　`Especially，'saidMrPumblechook，`begrateful，boy，tothemwhichbroughtyouupbyhand。'
　　MrsHubbleshookherhead，andcontemplatingmewithamournfulpresentimentthatIshouldcometonogood，asked，`Whyisitthattheyoungarenevergrateful？'ThismoralmysteryseemedtoomuchforthecompanyuntilMrHubbleterselysolveditbysaying，`Naterallywicious。'Everybodythenmurmured`True！'andlookedatmeinaparticularlyunpleasantandpersonalmanner。
　　Joe'sstationandinfluenceweresomethingfeeblerifpossiblewhentherewascompany，thanwhentherewasnone。Buthealwaysaidedandcomfortedmewhenhecould，insomewayofhisown，andhealwaysdidsoatdinner-timebygivingmegravy，iftherewereany。Therebeingplentyofgravyto-day，Joespoonedintomyplate，atthispoint，abouthalfapint。
　　Alittlelateroninthedinner，MrWopslereviewedthesermonwithsomeseverity，andintimated-intheusualhypotheticalcaseoftheChurchbeing`thrownopen'-whatkingofsermonhewouldhavegiventhem。
　　Afterfavouringthemwithsomeheadsofthatdiscourse，heremarkedthatheconsideredthesubjectoftheday'shomily，ill-chosen；whichwasthelessexcusable，headded，whenthereweresomanysubjects`goingabout。'
　　`Trueagain，'saidUnclePumblechook。`You'vehitit，sir！Plentyofsubjectsgoingabout，forthemthatknowhowtoputsaltupontheirtails。
　　That'swhat'swanted。Amanneedn'tgofartofindasubject，ifhe'sreadywithhissalt-box。'MrPumblechookadded，afterashortintervalofreflection，`LookatPorkalone。There'sasubject！Ifyouwantasubject，lookatPork！'
　　`True，sir。Manyamoralfortheyoung，'returnedMrWopsle；andIknewhewasgoingtolugmein，beforehesaidit；`mightbededucedfromthattext。'
　　`Youlistentothis，'saidmysistertome，inasevereparenthesis。
　　Joegavemesomemoregravy。
　　`Swine，'pursuedMrWopsle，inhisdeepestvoice，andpointinghisforkatmyblushes，asifhewerementioningmychristianname；`Swinewerethecompanionsoftheprodigal。ThegluttonyofSwineisputbeforeus，asanexampletotheyoung。'Ithoughtthisprettywellinhimwhohadbeenpraisinguptheporkforbeingsoplumpandjuicy。`Whatisdetestableinapig，ismoredetestableinaboy。'
　　`Orgirl，'suggestedMrHubble。
　　`Ofcourse，orgirl，MrHubble，'assentedMrWopsle，ratherirritably，`butthereisnogirlpresent。'
　　`Besides，'saidMrPumblechook，turningsharponme，`thinkwhatyou'vegottobegratefulfor。Ifyou'dbeenbornaSqueaker——'
　　`Hewas，ifeverachildwas，'saidmysister，mostemphatically。
　　Joegavemesomemoregravy。
　　`Well，butImeanafour-footedSqueaker，'saidMrPumblechook。`Ifyouhadbeenbornsuch，wouldyouhavebeenherenow？Nowyou——'
　　`Unlessinthatform，'saidMrWopsle，noddingtowardsthedish。
　　`ButIdon'tmeaninthatform，sir，'returnedMrPumblechook，whohadanobjectiontobeinginterrupted；`Imean，enjoyinghimselfwithhiseldersandbetters，andimprovinghimselfwiththeirconversation，androllinginthelapofluxury。Wouldhehavebeendoingthat？No，hewouldn't。Andwhatwouldhavebeenyourdestination？'turningonmeagain。`Youwouldhavebeendisposedofforsomanyshillingsaccordingtothemarketpriceofthearticle，andDunstablethebutcherwouldhavecomeuptoyouasyoulayinyourstraw，andhewouldhavewhippedyouunderhisleftarm，andwithhisrighthewouldhavetuckeduphisfrocktogetapenknifefromoutofhiswaistcoat-pocket，andhewouldhaveshedyourbloodandhadyourlife。Nobringingupbyhandthen。Notabitofit！'
　　Joeofferedmemoregravy，whichIwasafraidtotake。
　　`Hewasaworldoftroubletoyou，ma'am，'saidMrsHubble，commiseratingmysister。
　　`Trouble？'echoedmysister；`trouble？'andthenenteredonafearfulcatalogueofalltheillnessesIhadbeenguiltyof，andalltheactsofsleeplessnessIhadcommitted，andallthehighplacesIhadtumbledfrom，andallthelowplacesIhadtumbledinto，andalltheinjuriesIhaddonemyself，andallthetimesshehadwishedmeinmygrave，andIhadcontumaciouslyrefusedtogothere。
　　IthinktheRomansmusthaveaggravatedoneanotherverymuch，withtheirnoses。Perhaps，theybecametherestlesspeopletheywere，inconsequence。
　　Anyhow，MrWopsle'sRomannosesoaggravatedme，duringtherecitalofmymisdemeanours，thatIshouldhavelikedtopullituntilhehowled。
　　But，allIhadendureduptothistime，wasnothingincomparisonwiththeawfulfeelingsthattookpossessionofmewhenthepausewasbrokenwhichensueduponmysister'srecital，andinwhichpauseeverybodyhadlookedatmeasIfeltpainfullyconsciouswithindignationandabhorrence。
　　`Yet，'saidMrPumblechook，leadingthecompanygentlybacktothethemefromwhichtheyhadstrayed，`Pork-regardedasbiled-isrich，too；
　　ain'tit？'
　　`Havealittlebrandy，uncle，'saidmysister。
　　OHeavens，ithadcomeatlast！Hewouldfinditwasweak，hewouldsayitwasweak，andIwaslost！Iheldtighttothelegofthetableunderthecloth，withbothhands，andawaitedmyfate。
　　Mysisterwentforthestonebottle，camebackwiththestonebottle，andpouredhisbrandyout:nooneelsetakingany。Thewretchedmantrifledwithhisglass-tookitup，lookedatitthroughthelight，putitdown-prolongedmymisery。Allthistime，MrsJoeandJoewerebrisklyclearingthetableforthepieandpudding。
　　Icouldn'tkeepmyeyesoffhim。Alwaysholdingtightbythelegofthetablewithmyhandsandfeet，Isawthemiserablecreaturefingerhisglassplayfully，takeitup，smile，throwhisheadback，anddrinkthebrandyoff。Instantlyafterwards，thecompanywereseizedwithunspeakableconsternation，owingtohisspringingtohisfeet，turningroundseveraltimesinanappallingspasmodicwhooping-coughdance，andrushingoutatthedoor；hethenbecamevisiblethroughthewindow，violentlyplungingandexpectorating，makingthemosthideousfaces，andapparentlyoutofhismind。
　　Iheldontight，whileMrsJoeandJoerantohim。Ididn'tknowhowIhaddoneit，butIhadnodoubtIhadmurderedhimsomehow。Inmydreadfulsituation，itwasareliefwhenhewasbroughtback，and，surveyingthecompanyallroundasiftheyhaddisagreedwithhim，sankdownintohischairwiththeonesignificantgasp，`Tar！'
　　Ihadfilledupthebottlefromthetar-waterjug。Iknewhewouldbeworseby-and-by。Imovedthetable，likeaMediumofthepresentday，bythevigourofmyunseenholduponit。
　　`Tar！'criedmysister，inamazement。`Why，howevercouldTarcomethere？'
　　But，UnclePumblechook，whowasomnipotentinthatkitchen，wouldn'theartheword，wouldn'thearofthesubject，imperiouslywaveditallawaywithhishand，andaskedforhotgin-and-water。Mysister，whohadbeguntobealarminglymeditative，hadtoemployherselfactivelyingettingthegin，thehotwater，thesugar，andthelemon-peel，andmixingthem。
　　Forthetimeatleast，Iwassaved。Istillheldontothelegofthetable，butclutcheditnowwiththefervourofgratitude。
　　Bydegrees，Ibecamecalmenoughtoreleasemygraspandpartakeofpudding。MrPumblechookpartookofpudding。Allpartookofpudding。Thecourseterminated，andMrPumblechookhadbeguntobeamunderthegenialinfluenceofgin-and-water。IbegantothinkIshouldgetovertheday，whenmysistersaidtoJoe，`Cleanplates-cold。'
　　Iclutchedthelegofthetableagainimmediately，andpressedittomybosomasifithadbeenthecompanionofmyyouthandfriendofmysoul。
　　Iforesawwhatwascoming，andIfeltthatthistimeIreallywasgone。
　　`Youmusttaste，'saidmysister，addressingtheguestswithherbestgrace，`Youmusttaste，tofinishwith，suchadelightfulanddeliciouspresentofUnclePumblechook's！'
　　Mustthey！Letthemnothopetotasteit！
　　`Youmustknow，'saidmysister，rising，`it'sapie；asavouryporkpie。'
　　Thecompanymurmuredtheircompliments。UnclePumblechook，sensibleofhavingdeservedwellofhisfellow-creatures，said-quitevivaciously，allthingsconsidered-`Well，MrsJoe，we'lldoourbestendeavours；letushaveacutatthissamepie。'
　　Mysisterwentouttogetit。Iheardherstepsproceedtothepantry。
　　IsawMrPumblechookbalancehisknife。Isawre-awakeningappetiteintheRomannostrilsofMrWopsle。IheardMrHubbleremarkthat`abitofsavouryporkpiewouldlayatopofanythingyoucouldmention，anddonoharm，'andIheardJoesay，`Youshallhavesome，Pip。'IhaveneverbeenabsolutelycertainwhetherIutteredashrillyellofterror，merelyinspirit，orinthebodilyhearingofthecompany。IfeltthatIcouldbearnomore，andthatImustrunaway。Ireleasedthelegofthetable，andranformylife。
　　But，Irannofurtherthanthehousedoor，forthereIranheadforemostintoapartyofsoldierswiththeirmuskets:oneofwhomheldoutapairofhandcuffstome，saying，`Hereyouare，looksharp，comeon！'
　　Chapter5
　　THEapparitionofafileofsoldiersringingdownthebutt-endsoftheirloadedmusketsonourdoor-step，causedthedinner-partytorisefromtableinconfusion，andcausedMrsJoere-enteringthekitchenempty-handed，tostopshortandstare，inherwonderinglamentof`Graciousgoodnessgraciousme，what'sgone-withthe-pie！'
　　ThesergeantandIwereinthekitchenwhenMrsJoestoodstaring；atwhichcrisisIpartiallyrecoveredtheuseofmysenses。Itwasthesergeantwhohadspokentome，andhewasnowlookingroundatthecompany，withhishandcuffsinvitinglyextendedtowardstheminhisrighthand，andhisleftonmyshoulder。
　　`Excuseme，ladiesandgentleman，'saidthesergeant，`butasIhavementionedatthedoortothissmartyoungshaver'whichhehadn't，`I
　　amonachaseinthenameoftheking，andIwanttheblacksmith。'
　　`Andpraywhatmightyouwantwithhim？'retortedmysister，quicktoresenthisbeingwantedatall。
　　`Missis，'returnedthegallantsergeant，`speakingformyself，Ishouldreply，thehonourandpleasureofhisfinewife'sacquaintance；speakingfortheking，Ianswer，alittlejobdone。'
　　Thiswasreceivedasratherneatinthesergeant；insomuchthatMrPumblechookcriedaudibly，`Goodagain！'
　　`Yousee，blacksmith，'saidthesergeant，whohadbythistimepickedoutJoewithhiseye，`wehavehadanaccidentwiththese，andIfindthelockofoneof'emgoeswrong，andthecouplingdon'tactpretty。Astheyarewantedforimmediateservice，willyouthrowyoureyeoverthem？'
　　Joethrewhiseyeoverthem，andpronouncedthatthejobwouldnecessitatethelightingofhisforgefire，andwouldtakenearertwohoursthanone，`Willit？Thenwillyousetaboutitatonce，blacksmith？'saidtheoff-handsergeant，`asit'sonhisMajesty'sservice。Andifmymencanbeatahandanywhere，they'llmakethemselvesuseful。'Withthat，hecalledtohismen，whocametroopingintothekitchenoneafteranother，andpiledtheirarmsinacorner。Andthentheystoodabout，assoldiersdo；now，withtheirhandslooselyclaspedbeforethem；now，restingakneeorashoulder；
　　now，easingabeltorapouch；now，openingthedoortospitstifflyovertheirhighstocks，outintotheyard。
　　AllthesethingsIsawwithoutthenknowingthatIsawthem，forIwasinanagonyofapprehension。But，beginningtoperceivethatthehandcuffswerenotforme，andthatthemilitaryhadsofargotthebetterofthepieastoputitinthebackground，Icollectedalittlemoreofmyscatteredwits。