Chapter48
THEsecondofthetwomeetingsreferredtointhelastchapter,occurredaboutaweekafterthefirst。IhadagainleftmyboatatthewharfbelowBridge;thetimewasanhourearlierintheafternoon;and,undecidedwheretodine,IhadstrolledupintoCheapside,andwasstrollingalongit,surelythemostunsettledpersoninallthebusyconcourse,whenalargehandwaslaiduponmyshoulder,bysomeoneovertakingme。ItwasMrJaggers'shand,andhepasseditthroughmyarm。
`Aswearegoinginthesamedirection,Pip,wemaywalktogether。Whereareyouboundfor?'
`FortheTemple,Ithink,'saidI。
`Don'tyouknow?'saidMrJaggers。
`Well,'Ireturned,gladforoncetogetthebetterofhimincross-examination,`Idonotknow,forIhavenotmadeupmnmind。'
`Youaregoingtodine?'saidMrJaggers。`Youdon'tmindadmittingthat,Isuppose?'
`No,'Ireturned,`Idon'tmindadmittingthat。'
`Andarenotengaged?'
`Idon'tmindadmittingalso,thatIamnotengaged。'
`Then,'saidMrJaggers,`comeanddinewithme。'
Iwasgoingtoexcusemyself,whenheadded,`Wemmick'scoming。'So,Ichangedmyexcuseintoanacceptance-thefewwordsIhaduttered,servingforthebeginningofeither-andwewentalongCheapsideandslantedofftoLittleBritain,whilethelightswerespringingupbrilliantlyintheshopwindows,andthestreetlamp-lighters,scarcelyfindinggroundenoughtoplanttheirladdersoninthemidstoftheafternoon'sbustle,wereskippingupanddownandrunninginandout,openingmoreredeyesinthegatheringfogthanmyrushlighttowerattheHummumshadopenedwhiteeyesintheghostlywall。
AttheofficeinLittleBritaintherewastheusualletter-writing,hand-washing,candle-snuffing,andsafe-locking,thatclosedthebusinessoftheday。AsIstoodidlebyMrJagger'sfire,itsrisingandfallingflamemadethetwocastsontheshelflookasiftheywereplayingadiabolicalgameatbo-peepwithme;whilethepairofcoarsefatofficecandlesthatdimlylightedMrJaggersashewroteinacorner,weredecoratedwithdirtywinding-sheets,asifinremembranceofahostofhangedclients。
WewenttoGerrard-street,allthreetogether,inahackneycoach:andassoonaswegotthere,dinnerwasserved。AlthoughIshouldnothavethoughtofmaking,inthatplace,themostdistantreferencebysomuchasalooktoWemmick'sWalworthsentiments,yetIshouldhavehadnoobjectiontocatchinghiseyenowandtheninafriendlyway。Butitwasnottobedone。HeturnedhiseyesonMrJaggerswheneverheraisedthemfromthetable,andwasasdryanddistanttomeasifthereweretwinWemmicksandthiswasthewrongone。
`DidyousendthatnoteofMissHavisham'stoMrPip,Wemmick?'MrJaggersasked,soonafterwebegandinner。
`No,sir,'returnedWemmick;`itwasgoingbypost,whenyoubroughtMrPipintotheoffice。Hereitis。'Hehandedittohisprincipal,insteadoftome。
`It'sanoteoftwolines,Pip,'saidMrJaggers,handingiton,`sentuptomebyMissHavisham,onaccountofhernotbeingsureofyouraddress。
Shetellsmethatshewantstoseeyouonalittlematterofbusinessyoumentionedtoher。You'llgodown?'
`Yes,'saidI,castingmyeyesoverthenote,whichwasexactlyinthoseterms。
`Whendoyouthinkofgoingdown?'
`Ihaveanimpendingengagement,'saidI,glancingatWemmick,whowasputtingfishintothepost-office,`thatrendersmeratheruncertainofmytime。Atonce,Ithink。'
`IfMrPiphastheintentionofgoingatonce,'saidWemmicktoMrJaggers,`heneedn'twriteananswer,youknow。'
Receivingthisasanintimationthatitwasbestnottodelay,IsettledthatIwouldgoto-morrow,andsaidso。WemmickdrankaglassofwineandlookedwithagrimlysatisfiedairatMrJaggers,butnotatme。
`So,Pip!OurfriendtheSpider,'saidMrJaggers,`hasplayedhiscards。
Hehaswonthepool。'
ItwasasmuchasIcoulddotoassent。
`Hah!Heisapromisingfellow-inhisway-buthemaynothaveitallhisownway。Thestrongerwillwinintheend,butthestrongerhastobefoundoutfirst。Ifheshouldturnto,andbeather——'
`Surely,'Iinterrupted,withaburningfaceandheart,`youdonotseriouslythinkthatheisscoundrelenoughforthat,MrJaggers?'
`Ididn'tsayso,Pip。Iamputtingacase。Ifheshouldturntoandbeather,hemaypossiblygetthestrengthonhisside;ifitshouldbeaquestionofintellect,hecertainlywillnot。Itwouldbechanceworktogiveanopinionhowafellowofthatsortwillturnoutinsuchcircumstances,becauseit'satoss-upbetweentworesults。'
`MayIaskwhattheyare?'
`AfellowlikeourfriendtheSpider,'answeredMrJaggers,`eitherbeats,orcringes。Hemaycringeandgrowl,orcringeandnotgrowl;butheeitherbeatsorcringes。AskWemmickhisopinion。'
`Eitherbeatsorcringes,'saidWemmick,notatalladdressinghimselftome。
`So,here'stoMrsBentleyDrummle,'saidMrJaggers,takingadecanterofchoicerwinefromhisdumb-waiter,andfilingforeachofusandforhimself,`andmaythequestionofsupremacybesettledtothelady'ssatisfaction!
Tothesatisfactionoftheladyandthegentleman,itneverwillbe。Now,Molly,Molly,Molly,Molly,howslowyouareto-day!'
Shewasathiselbowwhenheaddressedher,puttingadishuponthetable。Asshewithdrewherhandsfromit,shefellbackasteportwo,nervouslymutteringsomeexcuse。Andacertainactionofherfingersasshespokearrestedmyattention。
`What'sthematter?'saidMrJaggers。
`Nothing。Onlythesubjectwewerespeakingof,'saidI,`wasratherpainfultome。'
Theactionofherfingerswasliketheactionofknitting。Shestoodlookingathermaster,notunderstandingwhethershewasfreetogo,orwhetherhehadmoretosaytoherandwouldcallherbackifshedidgo。
Herlookwasveryintent。Surely,Ihadseenexactlysucheyesandsuchhands,onamemorableoccasionverylately!
Hedismissedher,andsheglidedoutoftheroom。Butsheremainedbeforeme,asplainlyasifshewerestillthere。Ilookedatthosehands,Ilookedatthoseeyes,Ilookedatthatflowinghair;andIcomparedthemwithotherhands,othereyes,otherhair,thatIknewof,andwithwhatthosemightbeaftertwentyyearsofabrutalhusbandandastormylife。Ilookedagainatthosehandsandeyesofthehousekeeper,andthoughtoftheinexplicablefeelingthathadcomeovermewhenIlastwalked-notalone-intheruinedgarden,andthroughthedesertedbrewery。IthoughthowthesamefeelinghadcomebackwhenIsawafacelookingatme,andahandwavingtome,fromastage-coachwindow;andhowithadcomebackagainandhadflashedaboutmelikeLightning,whenIhadpassedinacarriage-notalone-
throughasuddenglareoflightinadarkstreet。Ithoughthowonelinkofassociationhadhelpedthatidentificationinthetheatre,andhowsuchalink,wantingbefore,hadbeenrivetedformenow,whenIhadpassedbyachanceswiftfromEstella'snametothefingerswiththeirknittingaction,andtheattentiveeyes。AndIfeltabsolutelycertainthatthiswomanwasEstella'smother。
MrJaggershadseenmewithEstella,andwasnotlikelytohavemissedthesentimentsIhadbeenatnopainstoconceal。HenoddedwhenIsaidthesubjectwaspainfultome,clappedmeontheback,putroundthewineagain,andwentonwithhisdinner。
Onlytwicemore,didthehousekeeperreappear,andthenherstayintheroomwasveryshort,andMrJaggerswassharpwithher。ButherhandswereEstella'shands,andhereyeswereEstella'seyes,andifshehadreappearedahundredtimesIcouldhavebeenneithermoresurenorlesssurethatmyconvictionwasthetruth。
Itwasadullevening,forWemmickdrewhiswinewhenitcameround,quiteasamatterofbusiness-justashemighthavedrawnhissalarywhenthatcameround-andwithhiseyesonhischief,satinastateofperpetualreadinessforcross-examination。Astothequantityofwine,hispost-officewasasindifferentandreadyasandotherpost-officeforitsquantityofletters。Frommypointofview,hewasthewrongtwinallthetime,andonlyexternallyliketheWemmickofWalworth。
Wetookourleaveearly,andlefttogether。EvenwhenweweregropingamongMrJaggers'sstockofbootsforourhats,Ifeltthattherighttwinwasonhiswayback;andwehadnotgonehalfadozenyardsdownGerrard-streetintheWalworthdirectionbeforeIfoundthatIwaswalkingarm-in-armwiththerighttwin,andthatthewrongtwinhadevaporatedintotheeveningair。
`Well!'saidWemmick,`that'sover!He'sawonderfulman,withouthislivinglikeness;butIfeelthatIhavetoscrewmyselfupwhenIdinewithhim-andIdinemorecomfortablyunscrewed。'
Ifeltthatthiswasagoodstatementofthecase,andtoldhimso。
`Wouldn'tsayittoanybodybutyourself,'heanswered。`Iknowthatwhatissaidbetweenyouandme,goesnofurther。'
IaskedhimifhehadeverseenMissHavisham'sadopteddaughter,MrsBentleyDrummle?Hesaidno。Toavoidbeingtooabrupt,IthenspokeoftheAged,andofMissSkiffins。HelookedratherslywhenImentionedMissSkiffins,andstoppedinthestreettoblowhisnose,witharolloftheheadandaflourishnotquitefreefromlatentboastfulness。
`Wemmick,'saidI,`doyouremembertellingmebeforeIfirstwenttoMrJaggers'sprivatehouse,tonoticethathousekeeper?'
`DidI?'hereplied。`Ah,IdaresayIdid。Deucetakeme,'headded,suddenly,`IknowIdid。IfindIamnotquiteunscrewedyet。'
`Awildbeasttamed,youcalledher。'
`Andwhatdoyoucallher?'
`Thesame。HowdidMrJaggerstameher,Wemmick?'
`That'shissecret。Shehasbeenwithhimmanyalongyear。'
`Iwishyouwouldtellmeherstory。Ifeelaparticularinterestinbeingacquaintedwithit。Youknowthatwhatissaidbetweenyouandmegoesnofurther。'
`Well!'Wemmickreplied,`Idon'tknowherstory-thatis,Idon'tknowallofit。ButwhatIdoknow,I'lltellyou。Weareinourprivateandpersonalcapacities,ofcourse。'
`Ofcourse。'
`Ascoreorsoofyearsago,thatwomanwastriedattheOldBaileyformurder,andwasacquitted。Shewasaveryhandsomeyoungwoman,andIbelievehadsomegipsybloodinher。Anyhow,iwashotenoughwhenitwasup,asyoumaysuppose。'
`Butshewasacquitted。'
`MrJaggerswasforher,'pursuedWemmick,withalookfullofmeaning,`andworkedthecaseinawayquiteastonishing。Itwasadesperatecase,anditwascomparativelyearlydayswithhimthen,andheworkedittogeneraladmiration;infact,itmayalmostbesaidtohavemadehim。Heworkedithimselfatthepolice-office,dayafterdayformanydays,contendingagainstevenacommittal;andatthetrialwherehecouldn'tworkithimself,satunderCounsel,and-everyoneknew-putinallthesaltandpepper。
Themurderedpersonwasawoman;awoman,agoodtenyearsolder,verymuchlarger,andverymuchstronger。Itwasacaseofjealousy。Theybothledtrampinglives,andthiswomaninGerrard-streetherehadbeenmarriedveryyoung,overthebroomstickaswesay,toatrampingman,andwasaperfectfuryinpointofjealousy。Themurderedwoman-moreamatchfortheman,certainly,inpointofyears-wasfounddeadinabarnnearHounslowHeath。Therehadbeenaviolentstruggle,perhapsafight。Shewasbruisedandscratchedandtorn,andhadbeenheldbythethroatatlastandchoked。Now,therewasnoreasonableevidencetoimplicateanypersonbutthiswoman,and,ontheimprobabilitiesofherhavingbeenabletodoit,MrJaggersprincipallyrestedhiscase。Youmaybesure,'saidWemmick,touchingmeonthesleeve,`thatheneverdweltuponthestrengthofherhandsthen,thoughhesometimesdoesnow。'
IhadtoldWemmickofhisshowingusherwrists,thatdayofthedinnerparty。
`Well,sir!'Wemmickwenton;`ithappened-happened,don'tyousee?-
thatthiswomanwassoveryartfullydressedfromthetimeofherapprehension,thatshelookedmuchslighterthanshereallywas;inparticular,hersleevesarealwaysrememberedtohavebeensoskilfullycontrivedthatherarmshadquiteadelicatelook。Shehadonlyabruiseortwoabouther-nothingforatramp-butthebacksofherhandswerelacerated,andthequestionwas,wasitwithfinger-nails?Now,MrJaggersshowedthatshehadstruggledthroughagreatlotofbrambleswhichwerenotashighasherface;butwhichshecouldnothavegotthroughandkeptherhandsoutof;andbitsofthosebrambleswereactuallyfoundinherskinandputinevidence,aswellasthefactthatthebramblesinquestionwerefoundonexaminationtohavebeenbrokenthrough,andtohavelittleshredsofherdressandlittlespotsofblooduponthemhereandthere。Buttheboldestpointhemade,wasthis。Itwasattemptedtobesetupinproofofherjealousy,thatshewasunderstrongsuspicionofhaving,ataboutthetimeofthemurder,franticallydestroyedherchildbythisman-somethreeyearsold-torevengeherselfuponhim。MrJaggersworkedthat,inthisway。
"Wesaythesearenotmarksoffinger-nails,butmarksofbrambles,andweshowyouthebrambles。Yousaytheyaremarksoffinger-nails,andyousetupthehypothesisthatshedestroyedherchild。Youmustacceptallconsequencesofthathypothesis。Foranythingweknow,shemayhavedestroyedherchild,andthechildinclingingtohermayhavescratchedherhands。
Whatthen?Youarenottryingherforthemurderofherchild;whydon'tyou?Astothiscase,ifyouwillhavescratches,wesaythat,foranythingweknow,youmayhaveaccountedforthem,assumingforthesakeofargumentthatyouhavenotinventedthem?"Tosumup,sir,'saidWemmick,`MrJaggerswasaltogethertoomanyfortheJury,andtheygavein。'
`Hasshebeeninhisserviceeversince?'
`Yes;butnotonlythat,'saidWemmick。`Shewentintohisserviceimmediatelyafterheracquittal,tamedassheisnow。Shehassincebeentaughtonethingandanotherinthewayofherduties,butshewastamedfromthebeginning。'
`Doyourememberthesexofthechild?'
`Saidtohavebeenagirl。'
`Youhavenothingmoretosaytometo-night?'
`Nothing。Igotyourletteranddestroyedit。Nothing。'
WeexchangedacordialGoodNight,andIwenthome,withnewmatterformythoughts,thoughwithnorelieffromtheold。
Chapter49
PUTTINGMissHavisham'snoteinmypocket,thatitmightserveasmycredentialsforsosoonreappearingatSatisHouse,incaseherwaywardnessshouldleadhertoexpressanysurpriseatseeingme,Iwentdownagainbythecoachnextday。ButIalightedattheHalfwayHouse,andbreakfastedthere,andwalkedtherestofthedistance;for,Isoughttogetintothetownquietlybytheunfrequentedways,andtoleaveitinthesamemanner。
ThebestlightofthedaywasgonewhenIpassedalongthequietechoingcourtsbehindtheHigh-street。Thenooksofruinwheretheoldmonkshadoncehadtheirrefectoriesandgardens,andwherethestrongwallswerenowpressedintotheserviceofhumbleshedsandstables,werealmostassilentastheoldmonksintheirgraves。Thecathedralchimeshadatonceasadderandamoreremotesoundtome,asIhurriedonavoidingobservation,thantheyhadeverhadbefore;so,theswelloftheoldorganwasbornetomyearslikefuneralmusic;andtherooks,astheyhoveredaboutthegreytowerandswunginthebarehightreesofthepriory-garden,seemedtocalltomethattheplacewaschanged,andthatEstellawasgoneoutofitforever。
AnelderlywomanwhomIhadseenbeforeasoneoftheservantswholivedinthesupplementaryhouseacrossthebackcourt-yard,openedthegate。
Thelightedcandlestoodinthedarkpassagewithin,asofold,andItookitupandascendedthestaircasealone。MissHavishamwasnotinherownroom,butwasinthelargerroomacrossthelanding。Lookinginatthedoor,afterknockinginvain,Isawhersittingonthehearthinaraggedchair,closebefore,andlostinthecontemplationof,theashyfire。
DoingasIhadoftendone,Iwentin,andstood,touchingtheoldchimney-piece,whereshecouldseemewhensheraisedhereyes。Therewasanairorutterlonelinessuponher,thatwouldhavemovedmetopitythoughshehadwilfullydonemeadeeperinjurythanIcouldchargeherwith。AsIstoodcompassionatingher,andthinkinghowintheprogressoftimeItoohadcometobeapartofthewreckedfortunesofthathouse,hereyesrestedonme。Shestared,andsaidinalowvoice,`Isitreal?'
`ItisI,Pip。MrJaggersgavemeyournoteyesterday,andIhavelostnotime。'
`Thankyou。Thankyou。'
AsIbroughtanotheroftheraggedchairstothehearthandsatdown,Iremarkedanewexpressiononherface,asifshewereafraidofme。
`Iwant,'shesaid,`topursuethatsubjectyoumentionedtomewhenyouwerelasthere,andtoshowyouthatIamnotallstone。Butperhapsyoucanneverbelieve,now,thatthereisanythinghumaninmyheart?'
WhenIsaidsomereassuringwords,shestretchedouthertremulousrighthand,asthoughshewasgoingtotouchme;butsherecalleditagainbeforeIunderstoodtheaction,orknewhowtoreceiveit。
`Yousaid,speakingforyourfriend,thatyoucouldtellmehowtodosomethingusefulandgood。Somethingthatyouwouldlikedone,isitnot?'
`SomethingthatIwouldlikedoneverymuch。'
`Whatisit?'
Ibeganexplainingtoherthatsecrethistoryofthepartnership。I
hadnotgotfarintoit,whenIjudgedfromherlooksthatshewasthinkinginadiscursivewayofme,ratherthanofwhatIsaid。Itseemedtobeso,for,whenIstoppedspeaking,manymomentspassedbeforesheshowedthatshewasconsciousofthefact。
`Doyoubreakoff,'sheaskedthen,withherformerairofbeingafraidofme,`becauseyouhatemetoomuchtobeartospeaktome?'
`No,no,'Ianswered,`howcanyouthinkso,MissHavisham!IstoppedbecauseIthoughtyouwerenotfollowingwhatIsaid。'
`PerhapsIwasnot,'sheanswered,puttingahandtoherhead。`Beginagain,andletmelookatsomethingelse。Stay!Nowtellme。'
Shesetherhanduponherstick,intheresolutewaythatsometimeswashabitualtoher,andlookedatthefirewithastrongexpressionofforcingherselftoattend。Iwentonwithmyexplanation,andtoldherhowIhadhopedtocompletethetransactionoutofmymeans,buthowinthisIwasdisappointed。ThatpartofthesubjectIremindedherinvolvedmatterswhichcouldformnopartofmyexplanation,fortheyweretheweightysecretsofanother。
`So!'saidshe,assentingwithherhead,butnotlookingatme。`Andhowmuchmoneyiswantingtocompletethepurchase?'
Iwasratherafraidofstatingit,foritsoundedalargesum。`Ninehundredpounds。'
`IfIgiveyouthemoneyforthispurpose,willyoukeepmysecretasyouhavekeptyourown?'
`Quiteasfaithfully。'
`Andyourmindwillbemoreatrest?'
`Muchmoreatrest。'
`Areyouveryunhappynow?'
Sheaskedthisquestion,stillwithoutlookingatme,butinanunwontedtoneofsympathy。Icouldnotreplyatthemoment,formyvoicefailedme。Sheputherleftarmacrosstheheadofherstick,andsoftlylaidherforeheadonit。
`Iamfarfromhappy,MissHavisham;butIhaveothercausesofdisquietthananyyouknowof。TheyarethesecretsIhavementioned。'
Afteralittlewhile,sheraisedherheadandlookedatthefireagain。
`Itisnobleinyoutotellmethatyouhaveothercausesofunhappiness,Isittrue?'
`Tootrue。'
`CanIonlyserveyou,Pip,byservingyourfriend?Regardingthatasdone,istherenothingIcandoforyouyourself?'
`Nothing。Ithankyouforthequestion。Ithankyouevenmoreforthetoneofthequestion。But,thereisnothing。'
Shepresentlyrosefromherseat,andlookedabouttheblightedroomforthemeansofwriting。Therewerenonthere,andshetookfromherpocketayellowsetofivorytablets,mountedintarnishedgold,andwroteuponthemwithapencilinacaseoftarnishedgoldthathungfromherneck。
`YouarestillonfriendlytermswithMrJaggers?'
`Quite。Idinedwithhimyesterday。'
`Thisisanauthoritytohimtopayyouthatmoney,tolayoutatyourirresponsiblediscretionforyourfriend。Ikeepnomoneyhere;butifyouwouldratherMrJaggersknewnothingofthematter,Iwillsendittoyou。'
`Thankyou,MissHavisham;Ihavenottheleastobjectiontoreceivingitfromhim。'
Shereadmewhatshehadwritten,anditwasdirectandclear,andevidentlyintendedtoabsolvemefromanysuspicionofprofitingbythereceiptofthemoney。Itookthetabletsfromherhand,andittrembledagain,andittrembledmoreasshetookoffthechaintowhichthepencilwasattached,andputitinmine。Allthisshedid,withoutlookingatme。
`Mynameisonthefirstleaf。Ifyoucaneverwriteundermyname,"Iforgiveher,"thougheversolongaftermybrokenheartisdust-praydoit!'
`OMissHavisham,'saidI,`Icandoitnow。Therehavebeensoremistakes;
andmylifehasbeenablindandthanklessone;andIwantforgivenessanddirectionfartoomuch,tobebitterwithyou。'
Sheturnedherfacetomeforthefirsttimesinceshehadavertedit,and,tomyamazement,Imayevenaddtomyterror,droppedonherkneesatmyfeet;withherfoldedhandsraisedtomeinthemannerinwhich,whenherpoorheartwasyoungandfreshandwhole,theymustoftenhavebeenraisedtoheavenfromhermother'sside。
Toseeherwithherwhitehairandherwornfacekneelingatmyfeet,gavemeashockthroughallmyframe。Ientreatedhertorise,andgotmyarmsabouthertohelpherup;butsheonlypressedthathandofminewhichwasnearesttohergrasp,andhungherheadoveritandwept。Ihadneverseenhershedatearbefore,and,inthehopethatthereliefmightdohergood,Ibentoverherwithoutspeaking。Shewasnotkneelingnow,butwasdownupontheground。
`O!'shecried,despairingly。`WhathaveIdone!WhathaveIdone!'
`Ifyoumean,MissHavisham,whathaveyoudonetoinjureme,letmeanswer。Verylittle。Ishouldhavelovedherunderanycircumstances-
Isshemarried?'
`Yes。'
Itwasaneedlessquestion,foranewdesolationinthedesolatehousehadtoldmeso。
`WhathaveIdone!WhathaveIdone!'Shewrungherhands,andcrushedherwhitehair,andreturnedtothiscryoverandoveragain。`WhathaveIdone!'
Iknewnothowtoanswer,orhowtocomforther。Thatshehaddoneagrievousthingintakinganimpressionablechildtomouldintotheformthatherwildresentment,spurnedaffection,andwoundedpride,foundvengeancein,Iknewfullwell。Butthat,inshuttingoutthelightofday,shehadshutoutinfinitelymore;that,inseclusion,shehadsecludedherselffromathousandnaturalandhealinginfluences;that,hermind,broodingsolitary,hadgrowndiseased,asallmindsdoandmustandwillthatreversetheappointedorderoftheirMaker;Iknewequallywell。AndcouldIlookuponherwithoutcompassion,seeingherpunishmentintheruinshewas,inherprofoundunfitnessforthisearthonwhichshewasplaced,inthevanityofsorrowwhichhadbecomeamastermania,likethevanityofpenitence,thevanityofremorse,thevanityofunworthiness,andothermonstrousvanitiesthathavebeencursesinthisworld?
`Untilyouspoketohertheotherday,anduntilIsawinyoualooking-glassthatshowedmewhatIoncefeltmyself,IdidnotknowwhatIhaddone。
WhathaveIdone!WhathaveIdone!'Andsoagain,twenty,fiftytimesover,Whathadshedone!
`MissHavisham,'Isaid,whenhercryhaddiedaway,`youmaydismissmefromyourmindandconscience。ButEstellaisadifferentcase,andifyoucaneverundoanyscrapofwhatyouhavedoneamissinkeepingapartofherrightnatureawayfromher,itwillbebettertodothat,thantobemoanthepastthroughahundredyears。'
`Yes,yes,Iknowit。But,Pip-myDear!'Therewasanearnestwomanlycompassionformeinhernewaffection。`MyDear!Believethis:whenshefirstcametome,Imeanttosaveherfrommiserylikemyown。AtfirstImeantnomore。'
`Well,well!'saidI。`Ihopeso。'
`Butasshegrew,andpromisedtobeverybeautiful,Igraduallydidworse,andwithmypraises,andwithmyjewels,andwithmyteachings,andwiththisfigureofmyselfalwaysbeforeherawarningtobackandpointmylessons,Istoleherheartawayandputiceinitsplace。'
`Better,'Icouldnothelpsaying,`tohaveleftheranaturalheart,eventobebruisedorbroken。'
Withthat,MissHavishamlookeddistractedlyatmeforawhile,andthenburstoutagain,Whathadshedone!
`Ifyouknewallmystory,'shepleaded,`youwouldhavesomecompassionformeandabetterunderstandingofme。'
`MissHavisham,'Ianswered,asdelicatelyasIcould,`IbelieveI
maysaythatIdoknowyourstory,andhaveknowniteversinceIfirstleftthisneighbourhood。Ithasinspiredmewithgreatcommiseration,andIhopeIunderstanditanditsinfluences。DoeswhathaspassedbetweenusgivemeanyexcuseforaskingyouaquestionrelativetoEstella?Notassheis,butasshewaswhenshefirstcamehere?'
Shewasseatedontheground,withherarmsontheraggedchair,andherheadleaningonthem。ShelookedfullatmewhenIsaidthis,andreplied,`Goon。'
`WhosechildwasEstella?'
Sheshookherhead。
`Youdon'tknow?'
Sheshookherheadagain。
`ButMrJaggersbroughtherhere,orsentherhere?'
`Broughtherhere。'
`Willyoutellmehowthatcameabout?'
Sheansweredinalowwhisperandwithcaution:`IhadbeenshutupintheseroomsalongtimeIdon'tknowhowlong;youknowwhattimetheclockskeephere,whenItoldhimthatIwantedalittlegirltorearandlove,andsavefrommyfate。IhadfirstseenhimwhenIsentforhimtolaythisplacewasteforme;havingreadofhiminthenewspapers,beforeIandtheworldparted。Hetoldmethathewouldlookabouthimforsuchanorphanchild。Onenighthebroughtherhereasleep,andIcalledherEstella。'
`MightIaskheragethen?'
`Twoorthree。Sheherselfknowsnothing,butthatshewasleftanorphanandIadoptedher。'
SoconvincedIwasofthatwoman'sbeinghermother,thatIwantednoevidencetoestablishthefactinmyownmind。But,toanymind,Ithought,theconnectionherewasclearandstraight。
WhatmorecouldIhopetodobyprolongingtheinterview?IhadsucceededonbehalfofHerbert,MissHavishamhadtoldmeallsheknewofEstella,IhadsaidanddonewhatIcouldtoeasehermind。Nomatterwithwhatotherwordsweparted;weparted。
TwilightwasclosinginwhenIwentdownstairsintothenaturalair。
IcalledtothewomanwhohadopenedthegatewhenIentered,thatIwouldnottroubleherjustyet,butwouldwalkroundtheplacebeforeleaving。
For,IhadapresentimentthatIshouldneverbethereagain,andIfeltthatthedyinglightwassuitedtomylastviewofit。
BythewildernessofcasksthatIhadwalkedonlongago,andonwhichtherainofyearshadfallensince,rottingtheminmanyplaces,andleavingminiatureswampsandpoolsofwateruponthosethatstoodonend,Imademywaytotheruinedgarden。Iwentallroundit;roundbythecornerwhereHerbertandIhadfoughtourbattle;roundbythepathswhereEstellaandIhadwalked。Socold,solonely,sodrearyall!
Takingthebreweryonmywayback,Iraisedtherustylatchofalittledooratthegardenendofit,andwalkedthrough。Iwasgoingoutattheoppositedoor-noteasytoopennow,forthedampwoodhadstartedandswelled,andthehingeswereyielding,andthethresholdwasencumberedwithagrowthoffungus-whenIturnedmyheadtolookback。Achildishassociationrevivedwithwonderfulforceinthemomentoftheslightaction,andIfanciedthatIsawMissHavishamhangingtothebeam。Sostrongwastheimpression,thatIstoodunderthebeamshudderingfromheadtofootbeforeIknewitwasafancy-thoughtobesureIwasthereinaninstant。
Themournfulnessoftheplaceandtime,andthegreatterrorofthisillusion,thoughitwasbutmomentary,causedmetofeelanindescribableaweasIcameoutbetweentheopenwoodengateswhereIhadoncewrungmyhairafterEstellahadwrungmyheart。Passingonintothefrontcourt-yard,Ihesitatedwhethertocallthewomantoletmeoutatthelockedgateofwhichshehadthekey,orfirsttogoup-stairsandassuremyselfthatMissHavishamwasassafeandwellasIhadlefther。Itookthelattercourseandwentup。
IlookedintotheroomwhereIhadlefther,andIsawherseatedintheraggedchairuponthehearthclosetothefire,withherbacktowardsme。InthemomentwhenIwaswithdrawingmyheadtogoquietlyaway,I
sawagreatflaminglightspringup。Inthesamemoment,Isawherrunningatme,shrieking,withawhirloffireblazingallabouther,andsoaringatleastasmanyfeetaboveherheadasshewashigh。
Ihadadouble-capedgreat-coaton,andovermyarmanotherthickcoat。
ThatIgotthemoff,closedwithher,threwherdown,andgotthemoverher;thatIdraggedthegreatclothfromthetableforthesamepurpose,andwithitdraggeddowntheheapofrottennessinthemidst,andalltheuglythingsthatshelteredthere;thatwewereonthegroundstrugglinglikedesperateenemies,andthatthecloserIcoveredher,themorewildlysheshriekedandtriedtofreeherself;thatthisoccurredIknewthroughtheresult,butnotthroughanythingIfelt,orthought,orknewIdid。
IknewnothinguntilIknewthatwewereonthefloorbythegreattable,andthatpatchesoftinderyetalightwerefloatinginthesmokyair,which,amomentago,hadbeenherfadedbridaldress。
Then,Ilookedroundandsawthedisturbedbeetlesandspidersrunningawayoverthefloor,andtheservantscominginwithbreathlesscriesatthedoor。Istillheldherforciblydownwithallmystrength,likeaprisonerwhomightescape;andIdoubtifIevenknewwhoshewas,orwhywehadstruggled,orthatshehadbeeninflames,orthattheflameswereout,untilIsawthepatchesoftinderthathadbeenhergarments,nolongeralightbutfallinginablackshoweraroundus。
Shewasinsensible,andIwasafraidtohavehermoved,oreventouched。
AssistancewassentforandIheldheruntilitcame,asifIunreasonablyfanciedIthinkIdidthatifIlethergo,thefirewouldbreakoutagainandconsumeher。WhenIgotup,onthesurgeon'scomingtoherwithotheraid,Iwasastonishedtoseethatbothmyhandswereburnt;for,Ihadnoknowledgeofitthroughthesenseoffeeling。
Onexaminationitwaspronouncedthatshehadreceivedserioushurts,butthattheyofthemselveswerefarfromhopeless;thedangerlaymainlyinthenervousshock。Bythesurgeon'sdirections,herbedwascarriedintothatroomandlaiduponthegreattable:whichhappenedtobewellsuitedtothedressingofherinjuries。WhenIsawheragain,anhourafterwards,shelayindeedwhereIhadseenherstrikeherstick,andhadheardhersaythatshewouldlieoneday。
Thougheveryvestigeofherdresswasburnt,astheytoldme,shestillhadsomethingofheroldghastlybridalappearance;for,theyhadcoveredhertothethroatwithwhitecotton-wool,andasshelaywithawhitesheetlooselyoverlyingthat,thephantomairofsomethingthathadbeenandwaschanged,wasstilluponher。
Ifound,onquestioningtheservants,thatEstellawasinParis,andIgotapromisefromthesurgeonthathewouldwritetoherbythenextpost。MissHavisham'sfamilyItookuponmyself;intendingtocommunicatewithMrMatthewPocketonly,andleavehimtodoashelikedaboutinformingtherest。ThisIdidnextday,throughHerbert,assoonasIreturnedtotown。
Therewasastage,thatevening,whenshespokecollectedlyofwhathadhappened,thoughwithacertainterriblevivacity。Towardsmidnightshebegantowanderinherspeech,andafterthatitgraduallysetinthatshesaidinnumerabletimesinalowsolemnvoice,`WhathaveIdone!'Andthen,`Whenshefirstcame,Imeanttosaveherfrommiserylikemine。'
Andthen,`Takethepencilandwriteundermyname,"Iforgiveher!"'Sheneverchangedtheorderofthesethreesentences,butshesometimesleftoutawordinoneorotherofthem;neverputtinginanotherword,butalwaysleavingablankandgoingontothenextword。
AsIcoulddonoservicethere,andasIhad,nearerhome,thatpressingreasonforanxietyandfearwhichevenherwanderingscouldnotdriveoutofmymind,IdecidedinthecourseofthenightthatIwouldreturnbytheearlymorningcoach:walkingonamileorso,andbeingtakenupclearofthetown。Ataboutsixo'clockofthemorning,therefore,Ileanedoverherandtouchedherlipswithmine,justastheysaid,notstoppingforbeingtouched,`Takethepencilandwriteundermyname,"Iforgiveher。"'
Chapter50
MYhandshadbeendressedtwiceorthriceinthenight,andagaininthemorning。Myleftarmwasagooddealburnedtotheelbow,and,lessseverely,ashighastheshoulder;itwasverypainful,buttheflameshadsetinthatdirection,andIfeltthankfulitwasnoworse。MyrighthandwasnotsobadlyburntbutthatIcouldmovethefingers。Itwasbandaged,ofcourse,butmuchlessinconvenientlythanmylefthandandarm;thoseIcarriedinasling;andIcouldonlywearmycoatlikeacloak,looseovermyshouldersandfastenedattheneck。Myhairhadbeencaughtbythefire,butnotmyheadorface。
WhenHerberthadbeendowntoHammersmithandseenhisfather,hecamebackmeatourchambers,anddevotedthedaytoattendingonme。Hewasthekindestofnurses,andatstatedtimestookoffthebandages,andsteepedtheminthecoolingliquidthatwaskeptready,andputthemonagain,withapatienttendernessthatIwasdeeplygratefulfor。
Atfirst,asIlayquietonthesofa,Ifounditpainfullydifficult,Imightsayimpossible,togetridoftheimpressionoftheglareoftheflames,theirhurryandnoise,andthefierceburningsmell。IfIdozedforaminute,IwasawakenedbyMissHavisham'scries,andbyherrunningatmewithallthatheightoffireaboveherhead。ThispainofthemindwasmuchhardertostriveagainstthananybodilypainIsuffered;andHerbert,seeingthat,didhisutmosttoholdmyattentionengaged。
Neitherofusspokeoftheboat,butweboththoughtofit。Thatwasmadeapparentbyouravoidanceofthesubject,andbyouragreeing-withoutagreement-tomakemyrecoveryoftheuseofmyhands,aquestionofsomanyhours,notofsomanyweeks。
MyfirstquestionwhenIsawHerberthadbeenofcourse,whetherallwaswelldowntheriver?Asherepliedintheaffirmative,withperfectconfidenceandcheerfulness,wedidnotresumethesubjectuntilthedaywaswearingaway。Butthen,asHerbertchangedthebandages,morebythelightofthefirethanbytheouterlight,hewentbacktoitspontaneously。
`IsatwithProvislastnight,Handel,twogoodhours。'
`WherewasClara?'
`Dearlittlething!'saidHerbert。`ShewasupanddownwithGruffandgrimalltheevening。Hewasperpetuallypeggingatthefloor,themomentshelefthissight。Idoubtifhecanholdoutlongthough。Whatwithrumandpepper-andpepperandrum-Ishouldthinkhispeggingmustbenearlyover。'
`Andthenyouwillbemarried,Herbert?'
`HowcanItakecareofthedearchildotherwise?-Layyourarmoutuponthebackofthesofa,mydearboy,andI'llsitdownhere,andgetthebandageoffsograduallythatyoushallnotknowwhenitcomes。IwasspeakingofProvis。Doyouknow,Handel,heimproves?'
`IsaidtoyouIthoughthewassoftenedwhenIlastsawhim。'
`Soyoudid。Andsoheis。Hewasverycommunicativelastnight,andtoldmemoreofhislife。Yourememberhisbreakingoffhereaboutsomewomanthathehadhadgreattroublewith-DidIhurtyou?'
Ihadstarted,butnotunderhistouch。Hiswordshadgivenmeastart。
`Ihadforgottenthat,Herbert,butIrememberitnowyouspeakofit。'
`Well!Hewentintothatpartofhislife,andadarkwildpartitis。
ShallItellyou?Orwoulditworryyoujustnow?'
`Tellmebyallmeans。Everyword。'
Herbertbentforwardtolookatmemorenearly,asifmyreplyhadbeenrathermorehurriedormoreeagerthanhecouldquiteaccountfor。`Yourheadiscool?'hesaid,touchingit。
`Quite,'saidI。`TellmewhatProvissaid,mydearHerbert。'
`Itseems,'saidHerbert,`-there'sabandageoffmostcharmingly,andnowcomesthecoolone-makesyoushrinkatfirst,mypoordearfellow,don'tit?butitwillbecomfortablepresently-itseemsthatthewomanwasayoungwoman,andajealouswoman,andarevengefulwoman;revengeful,Handel,tothelastdegree。'
`Towhatlastdegree?'
`Murder-Doesitstriketoocoldonthatsensitiveplace?'
`Idon'tfeelit。Howdidshemurder?Whomdidshemurder?'`Why,thedeedmaynothavemeritedquitesoterribleaname,'saidHerbert,`but,shewastriedforit,andMrJaggersdefendedher,andthereputationofthatdefencefirstmadehisnameknowntoProvis。Itwasanotherandastrongerwomanwhowasthevictim,andtherehadbeenastruggle-inabarn。Whobeganit,orhowfairitwas,orhowunfair,maybedoubtful;
buthowitended,iscertainlynotdoubtful,forthevictimwasfoundthrottled。'
`Wasthewomanbroughtinguilty?'
`No;shewasacquitted-MypoorHandel,Ihurtyou!'
`Itisimpossibletobegentler,Herbert。Yes?Whatelse?'
`ThisacquittedyoungwomanandProvishadalittlechild:alittlechildofwhomProviswasexceedinglyfond。OntheeveningoftheverynightwhentheobjectofherjealousywasstrangledasItellyou,theyoungwomanpresentedherselfbeforeProvisforonemoment,andsworethatshewoulddestroythechildwhichwasinherpossession,andheshouldneverseeitagain;then,shevanished-There'stheworstarmcomfortablyintheslingoncemore,andnowthereremainsbuttherighthand,whichisafareasierjob。Icandoitbetterbythislightthanbyastronger,formyhandissteadiestwhenIdon'tseethepoorblisteredpatchestoodistinctly-Youdon'tthinkyourbreathingisaffected,mydearboy?
Youseemtobreathequickly。'
`PerhapsIdo,Herbert。Didthewomankeepheroath?'
`TherecomesthedarkestpartofProvis'slife。Shedid。'
`Thatis,hesaysshedid。'
`Why,ofcourse,mydearboy,'returnedHerbert,inatoneofsurprise,andagainbendingforwardtogetanearerlookatme。`Hesaysitall。
Ihavenootherinformation。'
`No,tobesure。'
`Now,whether,'pursuedHerbert,`hehadusedthechild'smotherill,orwhetherhehadusedthechild'smotherwell,Provisdoesn'tsay;but,shehadsharedsomefourorfiveyearsofthewretchedlifehedescribedtousatthisfireside,andheseemstohavefeltpityforher,andforbearancetowardsher。Therefore,fearingheshouldbecalledupontodeposeaboutthisdestroyedchild,andsobethecauseofherdeath,hehidhimselfmuchashegrievedforthechild,kepthimselfdark,ashesays,outofthewayandoutofthetrial,andwasonlyvaguelytalkedofasacertainmancalledAbel,outofwhomthejealousyarose。Aftertheacquittalshedisappeared,andthushelostthechildandthechild'smother。'
`Iwanttoask——'
`Amoment,mydearboy,andIhavedone。Thatevilgenius,Compeyson,theworstofscoundrelsamongmanyscoundrels,knowingofhiskeepingoutofthewayatthattime,andofhisreasonsfordoingso,ofcourseafterwardsheldtheknowledgeoverhisheadasameansofkeepinghimpoorer,andworkinghimharder。ItwasclearlastnightthatthisbarbedthepointofProvis'sanimosity。'
`Iwanttoknow,'saidI,`andparticularly,Herbert,whetherhetoldyouwhenthishappened?'
`Particularly?Letmeremember,then,whathesaidastothat。Hisexpressionwas,"aroundscoreo'yearago,anda'mostdirectlyafterItookupwi'
Compeyson。"Howoldwereyouwhenyoucameuponhiminthelittlechurchyard?'
`Ithinkinmyseventhyear。'
`Ay。Ithadhappenedsomethreeorfouryearsthen,hesaid,andyoubroughtintohismindthelittlegirlsotragicallylost,whowouldhavebeenaboutyourage。'
`Herbert,'saidI,afterashortsilence,inahurriedway,`canyouseemebestbythelightofthewindow,orthelightofthefire?'
`Bythefirelight,'answeredHerbert,comingcloseagain。
`Lookatme。'
`Idolookatyou,mydearboy。'
`Touchme。'
`Idotouchyou,mydearboy。'
`YouarenotafraidthatIaminanyfever,orthatmyheadismuchdisorderedbytheaccidentoflastnight?'
`N-no,mydearboy,'saidHerbert,aftertakingtimetoexamineme。
`Youareratherexcited,butyouarequiteyourself。'
`IknowIamquitemyself。Andthemanwehaveinhidingdowntheriver,isEstella'sFather。'
Chapter51
WHATpurposeIhadinviewwhenIwashotontracingoutandprovingEstella'sparentage,Icannotsay。Itwillpresentlybeseenthatthequestionwasnotbeforemeinadistinctshape,untilitwasputbeforemebyawiserheadthanmyown。
But,whenHerbertandIhadheldourmomentousconversation,IwasseizedwithafeverishconvictionthatIoughttohuntthematterdown-thatIoughtnottoletitrest,butthatIoughttoseeMrJaggers,andcomeatthebaretruth。IreallydonotknowwhetherIfeltthatIdidthisforEstella'ssake,orwhetherIwasgladtotransfertothemaninwhosepreservationIwassomuchconcerned,someraysoftheromanticinterestthathadsolongsurroundedher。Perhapsthelatterpossibilitymaybethenearertothetruth。
Anyway,IcouldscarcelybewithheldfromgoingouttoGerrard-streetthatnight。Herbert'srepresentationsthatifIdid,Ishouldprobablybelaidupandstrickenuseless,whenourfugitive'ssafetywoulddependuponme,alonerestrainedmyimpatience。Ontheunderstanding,againandagainreiterated,thatcomewhatwould,IwastogotoMrJaggersto-morrow,Iatlengthsubmittedtokeepquiet,andtohavemyhurtslookedafter,andtostayathome。Earlynextmorningwewentouttogether,andatthecornerofGiltspur-streetbySmithfield,IleftHerberttogohiswayintotheCity,andtookmywaytoLittleBritain。
TherewereperiodicaloccasionswhenMrJaggersandWemmickwentovertheofficeaccounts,andcheckedoffthevouchers,andputallthingsstraight。
OntheseoccasionsWemmicktookhisbooksandpapersintoMrJaggers'sroom,andoneoftheup-stairsclerkscamedownintotheouteroffice。
FindingsuchclerkonWemmick'spostthatmorning,Iknewwhatwasgoingon;but,IwasnotsorrytohaveMrJaggersandWemmicktogether,asWemmickwouldthenhearforhimselfthatIsaidnothingtocompromisehim。
Myappearancewithmyarmbandagedandmycoatlooseovermyshoulders,favouredmyobject。AlthoughIhadsentMrJaggersabriefaccountoftheaccidentassoonasIhadarrivedintown,yetIhadtogivehimallthedetailsnow;andthespecialityoftheoccasioncausedourtalktobelessdryandhard,andlessstrictlyregulatedbytherulesofevidence,thanithadbeenbefore。WhileIdescribedthedisaster,MrJaggersstood,accordingtohiswont,beforethefire。Wemmickleanedbackinhischair,staringatme,withhishandsinthepocketsofhistrousers,andhispenputhorizontallyintothepost。Thetwobrutalcasts,alwaysinseparableinmymindfromtheofficialproceedings,seemedtobecongestivelyconsideringwhethertheydidn'tsmellfireatthepresentmoment。
Mynarrativefinished,andtheirquestionsexhausted,IthenproducedMissHavisham'sauthoritytoreceivetheninehundredpoundsforHerbert。
MrJaggers'seyesretiredalittledeeperintohisheadwhenIhandedhimthetablets,buthepresentlyhandedthemovertoWemmick,withinstructionstodrawthechequeforhissignature。Whilethatwasincourseofbeingdone,IlookedonatWemmickashewrote,andMrJaggers,poisingandswayinghimselfonhiswell-polishedboots,lookedonatme。`Iamsorry,Pip,'
saidhe,asIputthechequeinmypocket,whenhehadsignedit,`thatwedonothingforyou。'
`MissHavishamwasgoodenoughtoaskme,'Ireturned,`whethershecoulddonothingforme,andItoldherNo。'
`Everybodyshouldknowhisownbusiness,'saidMrJaggers。AndIsawWemmick'slipsformthewords`portableproperty。'
`IshouldnothavetoldherNo,ifIhadbeenyou,'saidMrJaggers;
`buteverymanoughttoknowhisownbusinessbest。'
`Everyman'sbusiness,'saidWemmick,ratherreproachfullytowardsme,`isportableproperty。'
AsIthoughtthetimewasnowcomeforpursuingthethemeIhadatheart,Isaid,turningonMrJaggers:
`IdidasksomethingofMissHavisham,however,sir。Iaskedhertogivemesomeinformationrelativetoheradopteddaughter,andshegavemeallshepossessed。'
`Didshe?'saidMrJaggers,bendingforwardtolookathisbootsandthenstraighteninghimself。`Hah!Idon'tthinkIshouldhavedoneso,ifIhadbeenMissHavisham。Butsheoughttoknowherownbusinessbest。'
`IknowmoreofthehistoryofMissHavisham'sadoptedchild,thanMissHavishamherselfdoes,sir。Iknowhermother。'
MrJaggerslookedatmeinquiringly,andrepeated`Mother?'
`Ihaveseenhermotherwithinthesethreedays。'
`Yes?'saidMrJaggers。
`Andsohaveyou,sir。Andyouhaveseenherstillmorerecently。'
`Yes?'saidMrJaggers。
`PerhapsIknowmoreofEstella'shistorythanevenyoudo,'saidI。
`Iknowherfathertoo。'
AcertainstopthatMrJaggerscametoinhismanner-hewastooself-possessedtochangehismanner,buthecouldnothelpitsbeingbroughttoanindefinablyattentivestop-assuredmethathedidnotknowwhoherfatherwas。ThisIhadstronglysuspectedfromProvis'saccountasHerberthadrepeateditofhishavingkepthimselfdark;whichIpiecedontothefactthathehimselfwasnotMrJaggers'sclientuntilsomefouryearslater,andwhenhecouldhavenoreasonforclaiminghisidentity。But,IcouldnotbesureofthisunconsciousnessonMrJaggers'spartbefore,thoughIwasquitesureofitnow。
`So!Youknowtheyounglady'sfather,Pip?'saidMrJaggers。
`Yes,'Ireplied,`andhisnameisProvis-fromNewSouthWales。'
EvenMrJaggersstartedwhenIsaidthosewords。Itwastheslighteststartthatcouldescapeaman,themostcarefullyrepressedandthesoonestchecked,buthedidstart,thoughhemadeitapartoftheactionoftakingouthispocket-handkerchief。HowWemmickreceivedtheannouncementIamunabletosay,forIwasafraidtolookathimjustthen,lestMrJaggers'ssharpnessshoulddetectthattherehadbeensomecommunicationunknowntohimbetweenus。
`Andonwhatevidence,Pip,'askedMr。Jaggers,verycoolly,ashepausedwithhishandkerchiefhalfwaytohisnose,`doesProvismakethisclaim?'
`Hedoesnotmakeit,'saidI,`andhasnevermadeit,andhasnoknowledgeorbeliefthathisdaughterisinexistence。'
Foronce,thepowerfulpocket-handkerchieffailed。MyreplywassounexpectedthatMrJaggersputthehandkerchiefbackintohispocketwithoutcompletingtheusualperformance,foldedhisarms,andlookedwithsternattentionatme,thoughwithanimmovableface。
ThenItoldhimallIknew,andhowIknewit;withtheonereservationthatIlefthimtoinferthatIknewfromMissHavishamwhatIinfactknewfromWemmick。Iwasverycarefulindeedastothat。Nor,didIlooktowardsWemmickuntilIhadfinishedallIhadtotell,andhadbeenforsometimesilentlymeetingMrJaggers'slook。WhenIdidatlastturnmyeyesinWemmick'sdirection,Ifoundthathehadunpostedhispen,andwasintentuponthetablebeforehim。
`Hah!'saidMrJaggersatlast,ashemovedtowardsthepapersonthetable,`-Whatitemwasityouwereat,Wemmick,whenMr。Pipcamein?'
ButIcouldnotsubmittobethrownoffinthatway,andImadeapassionate,almostanindignant,appealtohimtobemorefrankandmanlywithme。
IremindedhimofthefalsehopesintowhichIhadlapsed,thelengthoftimetheyhadlasted,andthediscoveryIhadmade:andIhintedatthedangerthatweigheduponmyspirits。Irepresentedmyselfasbeingsurelyworthyofsomelittleconfidencefromhim,inreturnfortheconfidenceIhadjustnowimparted。IsaidthatIdidnotblamehim,orsuspecthim,ormistrusthim,butIwantedassuranceofthetruthfromhim。AndifheaskedmewhyIwanteditandwhyIthoughtIhadanyrighttoit,Iwouldtellhim,littleashecaredforsuchpoordreams,thatIhadlovedEstelladearlyandlong,andthat,althoughIhadlostherandmustliveabereavedlife,whateverconcernedherwasstillneareranddearertomethananythingelseintheworld。AndseeingthatMrJaggersstoodquitestillandsilent,andapparentlyquiteobdurate,underthisappeal,IturnedtoWemmick,andsaid,`Wemmick,Iknowyoutobeamanwithagentleheart。Ihaveseenyourpleasanthome,andyouroldfather,andalltheinnocentcheerfulplayfulwayswithwhichyourefreshyourbusinesslife。AndIentreatyoutosayawordformetoMrJaggers,andtorepresenttohimthat,allcircumstancesconsidered,heoughttobemoreopenwithme!'
IhaveneverseentwomenlookmoreoddlyatoneanotherthanMrJaggersandWemmickdidafterthisapostrophe。Atfirst,amisgivingcrossedmethatWemmickwouldbeinstantlydismissedfromhisemployment;but,itmeltedasIsawMrJaggersrelaxintosomethinglikeasmile,andWemmickbecomebolder。
`What'sallthis?'saidMrJaggers。`Youwithanoldfather,andyouwithpleasantandplayfulways?'
`Well!'returnedWemmick。`IfIdon'tbring'emhere,whatdoesitmatter?'
`Pip,'saidMrJaggers,layinghishanduponmyarm,andsmilingopenly,`thismanmustbethemostcunningimpostorinallLondon。'
`Notabitofit,'returnedWemmick,growingbolderandbolder。`Ithinkyou'reanother。'
Againtheyexchangedtheirformeroddlooks,eachapparentlystilldistrustfulthattheotherwastakinghimin。
`Youwithapleasanthome?'saidMrJaggers。
`Sinceitdon'tinterferewithbusiness,'returnedWemmick,`letitbeso。Now,Ilookatyou,sir,Ishouldn'twonderifyoumightbeplanningandcontrivingtohaveapleasanthomeofyourown,oneofthesedays,whenyou'retiredofallthiswork。'
MrJaggersnoddedhisheadretrospectivelytwoorthreetimes,andactuallydrewasigh。`Pip,'saidhe,`wewon'ttalkabout"poordreams;"youknowmoreaboutsuchthingsthanI,havingmuchfresherexperienceofthatkind。
Butnow,aboutthisothermatter。I'llputacasetoyou。Mind!Iadmitnothing。'
HewaitedformetodeclarethatIquiteunderstoodthatheexpresslysaidthatheadmittednothing。
`Now,Pip,'saidMrJaggers,`putthiscase。Putthecasethatawoman,undersuchcircumstancesasyouhavementioned,heldherchildconcealed,andwasobligedtocommunicatethefacttoherlegaladviser,onhisrepresentingtoherthathemustknow,withaneyetothelatitudeofhisdefence,howthefactstoodaboutthatchild。Putthecasethatatthesametimeheheldatrusttofindachildforaneccentricrichladytoadoptandbringup。'
`Ifollowyou,sir。'
`Putthecasethathelivedinanatmosphereofevil,andthatallhesawofchildren,was,theirbeinggeneratedingreatnumbersforcertaindestruction。Putthecasethatheoftensawchildrensolemnlytriedatacriminalbar,wheretheywerehelduptobeseen;putthecasethathehabituallyknewoftheirbeingimprisoned,whipped,transported,neglected,castout,qualifiedinallwaysforthehangman,andgrowinguptobehanged。
Putthecasethatprettynighallthechildrenhesawinhisdailybusinesslife,hehadreasontolookuponassomuchspawn,todevelopintothefishthatweretocometohisnet-tobeprosecuted,defended,forsworn,madeorphans,bedevilledsomehow。'
`Ifollowyou,sir。'
`Putthecase,Pip,thatherewasoneprettylittlechildoutoftheheap,whocouldbesaved;whomthefatherbelieveddead,anddaredmakenostirabout;astowhom,overthemother,thelegaladviserhadthispower:"Iknowwhatyoudid,andhowyoudidit。Youcamesoandso,thiswasyourmannerofattackandthisthemannerofresistance,youwentsoandso,youdidsuchandsuchthingstodivertsuspicion。Ihavetrackedyouthroughitall,andItellityouall。Partwiththechild,unlessitshouldbenecessarytoproduceittoclearyou,andthenitshallbeproduced。Givethechildintomyhands,andIwilldomybesttobringyouoff。Ifyouaresaved,yourchildissavedtoo;ifyouarelost,yourchildisstillsaved。"Putthecasethatthiswasdone,andthatthewomanwascleared。'
`Iunderstandyouperfectly。'
`ButthatImakenoadmissions?'
`Thatyoumakenoadmissions。'AndWemmickrepeated,`Noadmissions。'
`Putthecase,Pip,thatpassionandtheterrorofdeathhadalittleshakenthewoman'sintellects,andthatwhenshewassetatliberty,shewasscaredoutofthewaysoftheworldandwenttohimtobesheltered。
Putthecasethathetookherin,andthathekeptdowntheoldwildviolentnaturewheneverhesawaninklingofitsbreakingout,byassertinghispoweroverherintheoldway。Doyoucomprehendtheimaginarycase?'
`Quite。'
`Putthecasethatthechildgrewup,andwasmarriedformoney。Thatthemotherwasstillliving。Thatthefatherwasstillliving。Thatthemotherandfatherunknowntooneanother,weredwellingwithinsomanymiles,furlongs,yardsifyoulike,ofoneanother。Thatthesecretwasstillasecret,exceptthatyouhadgotwindofit。Putthatlastcasetoyourselfverycarefully。'
`Ido。'
`IaskWemmicktoputittohimselfverycarefully。'
AndWemmicksaid,`Ido。'
`Forwhosesakewouldyourevealthesecret?Forthefather's?Ithinkhewouldnotbemuchthebetterforthemother。Forthemother's?Ithinkifshehaddonesuchadeedshewouldbesaferwhereshewas。Forthedaughter's?
Ithinkitwouldhardlyserveher,toestablishherparentagefortheinformationofherhusband,andtodragherbacktodisgrace,afteranescapeoftwentyyears,prettysecuretolastforlife。But,addthecasethatyouhadlovedher,Pip,andhadmadeherthesubjectofthose"poordreams"whichhave,atonetimeoranother,beenintheheadsofmorementhanyouthinklikely,thenItellyouthatyouhadbetter-andwouldmuchsoonerwhenyouhadthoughtwellofit-chopoffthatbandagedlefthandofyourswithyourbandagedrighthand,andthenpassthechopperontoWemmickthere,tocutthatoff,too。'
IlookedatWemmick,whosefacewasverygrave。Hegravelytouchedhislipswithhisforefinger。Ididthesame。MrJaggersdidthesame。`Now,Wemmick,'saidthelatterthen,resuminghisusualmanner,`whatitemwasityouwereat,whenMrPipcamein?'
Standingbyforalittle,whiletheywereatwork,Iobservedthattheoddlookstheyhadcastatoneanotherwererepeatedseveraltimes:withthisdifferencenow,thateachofthemseemedsuspicious,nottosayconscious,ofhavingshownhimselfinaweakandunprofessionallighttotheother。
Forthisreason,Isuppose,theywerenowinflexiblewithoneanother;
MrJaggersbeinghighlydictatorial,andWemmickobstinatelyjustifyinghimselfwhenevertherewasthesmallestpointinabeyanceforamoment。
Ihadneverseenthemonsuchillterms;forgenerallytheygotonverywellindeedtogether。
But,theywerebothhappilyrelievedbytheopportuneappearanceofMike,theclientwiththefurcapandthehabitofwipinghisnoseonhissleeve,whomIhadseenontheveryfirstdayofmyappearancewithinthosewalls。Thisindividual,who,eitherinhisownpersonorinthatofsomememberofhisfamily,seemedtobealwaysintroublewhichinthatplacemeantNewgate,calledtoannouncethathiseldestdaughterwastakenuponsuspicionofshop-lifting。AsheimpartedthismelancholycircumstancetoWemmick,MrJaggersstandingmagisteriallybeforethefireandtakingnoshareintheproceedings,Mike'seyehappenedtotwinklewithatear。
`Whatareyouabout?'demandedWemmick,withtheutmostindignation。
`Whatdoyoucomesnivellingherefor?'
`Ididn'tgotodoit,MrWemmick。'
`Youdid,'saidWemmick。`Howdareyou?You'renotinafitstatetocomehere,ifyoucan'tcomeherewithoutsplutteringlikeabadpen。Whatdoyoumeanbyit?'
`Amancan'thelphisfeelings,MrWemmick,'pleadedMike。
`Hiswhat?'demandedWemmick,quitesavagely。`Saythatagain!'
`Now,lookheremyman,'saidMrJaggers,advancingastep,andpointingtothedoor。`Getoutofthisoffice。I'llhavenofeelingshere。Getout。'
`Itservesyouright,'saidWemmick,`Getout。'
SotheunfortunateMikeveryhumblywithdrew,andMrJaggersandWemmickappearedtohavere-establishedtheirgoodunderstanding,andwenttoworkagainwithanairofrefreshmentuponthemasiftheyhadjusthadlunch。
Chapter52
FROMLittleBritain,Iwent,withmychequeinmypocket,toMissSkiffins'sbrother,theaccountant;andMissSkiffins'sbrother,theaccountant,goingstraighttoClarriker'sandbringingClarrikertome,Ihadthegreatsatisfactionofconcludingthatarrangement。ItwastheonlygoodthingIhaddone,andtheonlycompletedthingIhaddone,sinceIwasfirstapprisedofmygreatexpectations。
ClarrikerinformingmeonthatoccasionthattheaffairsoftheHouseweresteadilyprogressing,thathewouldnowbeabletoestablishasmallbranch-houseintheEastwhichwasmuchwantedfortheextensionofthebusiness,andthatHerbertinhisnewpartnershipcapacitywouldgooutandtakechargeofit,IfoundthatImusthavepreparedforaseparationfrommyfriend,eventhoughmyownaffairshadbeenmoresettled。AndnowindeedIfeltasifmylastanchorwerelooseningitshold,andIshouldsoonbedrivingwiththewindsandwaves。