Insteadofanswering，Estellaburstoutlaughing。Thiswasverysingulartome，andIlookedatherinconsiderableperplexity。Whensheleftoff-andshehadnotlaughedlanguidly，butwithrealenjoyment-Isaid，inmydiffidentwaywithher:
`IhopeImaysupposethatyouwouldnotbeamusediftheydidmeanyharm。'
`No，noyoumaybesureofthat，'saidEstella。`YoumaybecertainthatIlaughbecausetheyfail。Oh，thosepeoplewithMissHavisham，andthetorturestheyundergo！'Shelaughedagain，andevennowwhenshehadtoldmewhy，herlaughterwasverysingulartome，forIcouldnotdoubtitsbeinggenuine，andyetitseemedtoomuchfortheoccasion。IthoughttheremustreallybesomethingmoreherethanIknew；shesawthethoughtinmymind，andansweredit。
`Itisnoteasyforevenyou。'saidEstella，`toknowwhatsatisfactionitgivesmetoseethosepeoplethwarted，orwhatanenjoyablesenseoftheridiculousIhavewhentheyaremaderidiculous。Foryouwerenotbroughtupinthatstrangehousefromamerebaby-Iwas。Youhadnotyourlittlewitssharpenedbytheirintriguingagainstyou，suppressedanddefenceless，underthemaskofsympathyandpityandwhatnotthatissoftandsoothing-
Ihad。Youdidnotgraduallyopenyourroundchildisheyeswiderandwidertothediscoveryofthatimpostorofawomanwhocalculatesherstoresofpeaceofmindforwhenshewakesupinthenight-Idid。'
IwasnolaughingmatterwithEstellanow，norwasshesummoningtheseremembrancesfromanyshallowplace。Iwouldnothavebeenthecauseofthatlookofhers，forallmyexpectationsinaheap。
`TwothingsIcantellyou，'saidEstella。`First，notwithstandingtheproverbthatconstantdroppingwillwearawayastone，youmaysetyourmindatrestthatthesepeopleneverwill-neverwould，inhundredyears-impairyourgroundwithMissHavisham，inanyparticular，greatorsmall。
Second，Iambeholdentoyouasthecauseoftheirbeingsobusyandsomeaninvain，andthereismyhanduponit。'
Asshegaveitmeplayfully-forherdarkermoodhadbeenbutmomentary-Ihelditandputittomylips。`Youridiculousboy，'saidEstella，`willyounevertakewarning？OrdoyoukissmyhandinthesamespiritinwhichIonceletyoukissmycheek？'
`Whatspiritwasthat？'saidI。
`ImustthinkamomentAspiritofcontemptforthefawnersandplotters。'
`IfIsayyes，mayIkissthecheekagain？'
`Youshouldhaveaskedbeforeyoutouchedthehand。But，yes，ifyoulike。'
Ileaneddown，andhercalmfacewaslikeastatue's。`Now，'saidEstella，glidingawaytheinstantItouchedhercheek，`youaretotakecarethatIhavesometea，andyouaretotakemetoRichmond。'
Herrevertingtothistoneasifourassociationwereforceduponusandweweremerepuppets，gavemepain；buteverythinginourintercoursedidgivemepain。Whateverhertonewithmehappenedtobe，Icouldputnotrustinit，andbuildnohopeonit；andyetIwentonagainsttrustandagainsthope。Whyrepeatitathousandtimes？Soitalwayswas。
Irangforthetea，andthewaiter，reappearingwithhismagicclue，broughtinbydegreessomefiftyadjunctstothatrefreshmentbutofteanotaglimpse。Ateaboard，cupsandsaucers，plates，knivesandforksincludingcarvers，spoonsvarious，saltcellars，ameeklittlemuffinconfinedwiththeutmostprecautionunderastrongironcover，Mosesinthebullrushestypifiedbyasoftbitofbutterinaquantityofparsley，apaleloafwithapowderedhead，twoproofimpressionsofthebarsofthekitchenfire-placeontriangularbitsofbread，andultimatelyafatfamilyurn:
whichthewaiterstaggeredinwith，expressinginhiscountenanceburdenandsuffering。Afteraprolongedabsenceatthisstageoftheentertainment，heatlengthcamebackwithacasketofpreciousappearancecontainingtwigs。TheseIsteepedinhotwater，andsofromthewholeoftheseappliancesextractedonecupofIdon'tknowwhat，forEstella。
Thebillpaid，andthewaiterremembered，andtheostlernotforgotten，andthechambermaidtakenintoconsideration-inaword，thewholehousebribedintoastateofcontemptandanimosity，andEstella'spursemuchlightened-wegotintoourpost-coachanddroveaway。TurningintoCheapsideandrattlingupNewgate-street，weweresoonunderthewallsofwhichI
wassoashamed。
`Whatplaceisthat？'Estellaaskedme。
Imadeafoolishpretenceofnotatfirstrecognizingit，andthentoldher。Asshelookedatit，anddrewinherheadagain，murmuring`Wretches！'
Iwouldnothaveconfessedtomyvisitforanyconsideration。
`MrJaggers，'saidI，bywayofputtingitneatlyonsomebodyelse，`hasthereputationofbeingmoreinthesecretsofthatdismalplacethananymaninLondon。'
`Heismoreinthesecretsofeveryplace，Ithink，'saidEstella，inalowvoice。
`Youhavebeenaccustomedtoseehimoften，Isuppose？'
`Ihavebeenaccustomedtoseehimatuncertainintervals，eversinceIcanremember。ButIknowhimnobetternow，thatIdidbeforeIcouldspeakplainly。Whatisyourownexperienceofhim？Doyouadvancewithhim？'
`Oncehabituatedtohisdistrustfulmanner，'saidI，`Ihavedoneverywell。'
`Areyouintimate？'
`Ihavedinedwithhimathisprivatehouse。'
`Ifancy，'saidEstella，shrinking`thatmustbeacuriousplace。'
`Itisacuriousplace。'
Ishouldhavebeencharyofdiscussingmyguardiantoofreelyevenwithher；butIshouldhavegoneonwiththesubjectsofarastodescribethedinnerinGerrard-street，ifwehadnotthencomeintoasuddenglareofgas。Itseemed，whileitlasted，tobeallalightandalivewiththatinexplicablefeelingIhadhadbefore；andwhenwewereoutofit，IwasasmuchdazedforafewmomentsasifIhadbeeninLightning。
So，wefellintoothertalk，anditwasprincipallyaboutthewaybywhichweweretravelling，andaboutwhatpartsofLondonlayonthissideofit，andwhatonthat。Thegreatcitywasalmostnewtoher，shetoldme，forshehadneverleftMissHavisham'sneighbourhooduntilshehadgonetoFrance，andshehadmerelypassedthroughLondontheningoingandreturning。Iaskedherifmyguardianhadanychargeofherwhilesheremainedhere？Tothatsheemphaticallysaid`Godforbid！'andnomore。
Itwasimpossibleformetoavoidseeingthatshecaredtoattractme；
thatshemadeherselfwinning；andwouldhavewonmeevenifthetaskhadneededpains。Yetthismademenonethehappier，for，evenifshehadnottakenthattoneofourbeingdisposedofbyothers，Ishouldhavefeltthatsheheldmyheartinherhandbecauseshewilfullychosetodoit，andnotbecauseitwouldhavewrunganytendernessinher，tocrushitandthrowitaway。
WhenwepassedthroughHammersmith，IshowedherwhereMrMatthewPocketlived，andsaiditwasnogreatwayfromRichmond，andthatIhopedIshouldseehersometimes。
`Ohyes，youareseeme；youaretocomewhenyouthinkproper；youaretobementionedtothefamily；indeedyouarealreadymentioned。'
Iinquiredwasitalargehouseholdshewasgoingtobeamemberof？
`No；thereareonlytwo；motheranddaughter。Themotherisaladyofsomestation，thoughnotaversetoincreasingherincome。'
`IwonderMissHavishamcouldpartwithyouagainsosoon。'
`ItisapartofMissHavisham'splansforme，Pip，'saidEstella，withasigh，asifsheweretired；`IamtowritetoherconstantlyandseeherregularlyandreporthowIgoon-Iandthejewels-fortheyarenearlyallminenow。'
Itwasthefirsttimeshehadevercalledmebymyname。Ofcourseshedidso，purposely，andknewthatIshouldtreasureitup。
WecametoRichmondalltoosoon，andourdestinationthere，wasahousebytheGreen；astaidoldhouse，wherehoopsandpowderandpatches，embroideredcoatsrolledstockingsrufflesandswords，hadhadtheircourtdaysmanyatime。Someancienttreesbeforethehousewerestillcutintofashionsasformalandunnaturalasthehoopsandwigsandstiffskirts；buttheirownallottedplacesinthegreatprocessionofthedeadwerenotfaroff，andtheywouldsoondropintothemandgothesilentwayoftherest。
Abellwithanoldvoice-whichIdaresayinitstimehadoftensaidtothehouse，Hereisthegreenfarthingale，Hereisthediamondhiltedsword，Herearetheshoeswithredheelsandthebluesolitaire，-soundedgravelyinthemoonlight，andtwocherrycolouredmaidscameflutteringouttoreceiveEstella。Thedoorwaysoonabsorbedherboxes，andshegavemeherhandandasmile，andsaidgoodnight，andwasabsorbedlikewise。
AndstillIstoodlookingatthehouse，thinkinghowhappyIshouldbeifIlivedtherewithher，andknowingthatIneverwashappywithher，butalwaysmiserable。
IgotintothecarriagetobetakenbacktoHammersmith，andIgotinwithabadheart-ache，andIgotoutwithaworseheart-ache。Atourowndoor，IfoundlittleJanePocketcominghomefromalittlepartyescortedbyherlittlelover；andIenviedherlittlelover，inspiteofhisbeingsubjecttoFlopson。
MrPocketwasoutlecturing；for，hewasamostdelightfullecturerondomesticeconomy，andhistreatisesonthemanagementofchildrenandservantswereconsideredtheverybesttext-booksonthosethemes。But，MrsPocketwasathome，andwasinalittledifficulty，onaccountofthebaby'shavingbeenaccommodatedwithaneedle-casetokeephimquietduringtheunaccountableabsencewitharelativeintheFootGuardsofMillers。
Andmoreneedlesweremissing，thanitcouldberegardedasquitewholesomeforapatientofsuchtenderyearseithertoapplyexternallyortotakeasatonicMrPocketbeingjustlycelebratedforgivingmostexcellentpracticaladvice，andforhavingaclearandsoundperceptionofthingsandahighlyjudiciousmind，Ihadsomenotioninmyheartacheofbegginghimtoacceptmyconfidence。But，happeningtolookupatMrsPocketasshesatreadingherbookofdignitiesafterprescribingBedasasovereignremedyforbaby，Ithought-Well-No，Iwouldn't。
Chapter34
ASIhadgrownaccustomedtomyexpectations，Ihadinsensiblybeguntonoticetheireffectuponmyselfandthosearoundme。Theirinfluenceonmyowncharacter，Idisguisedfrommyrecognitionasmuchaspossible，butIknewverywellthatitwasnotallgood。IlivedinastateofchronicuneasinessrespectingmybehaviourtoJoe。MyconsciencewasnotbyanymeanscomfortableaboutBiddy。WhenIwokeupinthenight-likeCamilla-Iusedtothink，withawearinessonmyspirits，thatIshouldhavebeenhappierandbetterifIhadneverseenMissHavisham'sface，andhadrisentomanhoodcontenttobepartnerswithJoeinthehonestoldforge。Manyatimeofanevening，whenIsatalonelookingatthefire，Ithought，afterall，therewasnofireliketheforgefireandthekitchenfireathome。
YetEstellawassoinseparablefromallmyrestlessnessanddisquietofmind，thatIreallyfellintoconfusionastothelimitsofmyownpartinitsproduction。Thatistosay，supposingIhadhadnoexpectations，andyethadhadEstellatothinkof，IcouldnotmakeouttomysatisfactionthatIshouldhavedonemuchbetter。Now，concerningtheinfluenceofmypositiononothers，Iwasinnosuchdifficulty，andsoIperceived-thoughdimlyenoughperhaps-thatitwasnotbeneficialtoanybody，and，aboveall，thatitwasnotbeneficialtoHerbert。Mylavishhabitsledhiseasynatureintoexpensesthathecouldnotafford，corruptedthesimplicityofhislife，anddisturbedhispeacewithanxietiesandregrets。IwasnotatallremorsefulforhavingunwittinglysetthoseotherbranchesofthePocketfamilytothepoorartstheypractised:becausesuchlittlenessesweretheirnaturalbent，andwouldhavebeenevokedbyanybodyelse，ifIhadleftthemslumbering。ButHerbert'swasaverydifferentcase，anditoftencausedmeatwingetothinkthatIhaddonehimevilserviceincrowdinghissparely-furnishedchamberswithincongruousupholsterywork，andplacingthecanary-breastedAvengerathisdisposalSonow，asaninfalliblewayofmakinglittleeasegreatease，Ibegantocontractaquantityofdebt。IcouldhardlybeginbutHerbertmustbegintoo，sohesoonfollowed。AtStartop'ssuggestion，weputourselvesdownforelectionintoaclubcalledTheFinchesoftheGrove:theobjectofwhichinstitutionIhaveneverdivined，ifitwerenotthatthemembersshoulddineexpensivelyonceafortnight，toquarrelamongthemselvesasmuchaspossibleafterdinner，andtocausesixwaiterstogetdrunkonthestairs。IKnowthatthesegratifyingsocialendsweresoinvariablyaccomplished，thatHerbertandIunderstoodnothingelsetobereferredtointhefirststandingtoastofthesociety:whichran`Gentlemen，maythepresentpromotionofgoodfeelingeverreignpredominantamongtheFinchesoftheGrove。'
TheFinchesspenttheirmoneyfoolishlytheHotelwedinedatwasinCovent-garden，andthefirstFinchIsaw，whenIhadthehonourofjoiningtheGrove，wasBentleyDrummle:atthattimeflounderingabouttowninacabofhisown，anddoingagreatdealofdamagetothepostsatthestreetcorners。Occasionally，heshothimselfoutofhisequipagehead-foremostovertheapron；andIsawhimononeoccasiondeliverhimselfatthedooroftheGroveinthisunintentionalway-likecoals。ButhereIanticipatealittleforIwasnotaFinch，andcouldnotbe，accordingtothesacredlawsofthesociety，untilIcameofage。
Inmyconfidenceinmyownresources，IwouldwillinglyhavetakenHerbert'sexpensesonmyself；butHerbertwasproud，andIcouldmakenosuchproposaltohim。So，hegotintodifficultiesineverydirection，andcontinuedtolookabouthim。Whenwegraduallyfellintokeepinglatehoursandlatecompany，Inoticedthathelookedabouthimwithadespondingeyeatbreakfast-time；
thathebegantolookabouthimmorehopefullyaboutmid-day；thathedroopedwhenhecameintodinner；thatheseemedtodescryCapitalinthedistanceratherclearly，afterdinner；thatheallbutrealizedCapitaltowardsmidnight；andthatatabouttwoo'clockinthemorning，hebecamesodeeplydespondentagainastotalkofbuyingarifleandgoingtoAmerica，withageneralpurposeofcompellingbuffaloestomakehisfortune。
IwasusuallyatHammersmithabouthalftheweek，andwhenIwasatHammersmithIhauntedRichmond:whereofseparatelyby-and-by。HerbertwouldoftencometoHammersmithwhenIwasthere，andIthinkatthoseseasonshisfatherwouldoccasionallyhavesomepassingperceptionthattheopeninghewaslookingfor，hadnotappearedyet。Butinthegeneraltumblingupofthefamily，histumblingoutinlifesomewhere，wasathingtotransactitselfsomehow。InthemeantimeMrPocketgrewgreyer，andtriedoftenertolifthimselfoutofhisperplexitiesbythehair。WhileMrsPockettrippedupthefamilywithherfootstool，readherbookofdignities，lostherpocket-handkerchief，toldusabouthergrandpapa，andtaughttheyoungideahowtoshoot，byshootingitintobedwheneveritattractedhernotice。
AsIamnowgeneralizingaperiodofmylifewiththeobjectofclearingmywaybeforeme，IcanscarcelydosobetterthanbyatoncecompletingthedescriptionofourusualmannersandcustomsatBarnard'sInnWespentasmuchmoneyaswecould，andgotaslittleforitaspeoplecouldmakeuptheirmindstogiveus。Wewerealwaysmoreorlessmiserable，andmostofouracquaintancewereinthesamecondition。Therewasagayfictionamongusthatwewereconstantlyenjoyingourselves，andaskeletontruththatweneverdid。Tothebestofmybelief，ourcasewasinthelastaspectarathercommonone。
Everymorning，withanairevernew，HerbertwentintotheCitytolookabouthim。Ioftenpaidhimavisitinthedarkback-roominwhichheconsortedwithanink-jar，ahat-peg，acoal-box，astring-box，analmanack，adeskandstool，andaruler；andIdonotrememberthatIeversawhimdoanythingelsebutlookabouthim。Ifwealldidwhatweundertaketodo，asfaithfullyasHerbertdid，wemightliveinaRepublicoftheVirtues。Hehadnothingelsetodo，poorfellow，exceptatacertainhourofeveryafternoonto`gotoLloyd's'-inobservanceofaceremonyofseeinghisprincipal，Ithink。HeneverdidanythingelseinconnexionwithLloyd'sthatIcouldfindout，exceptcomebackagain。Whenhefelthiscaseunusuallyserious，andthathepositivelymustfindanopening，hewouldgoon'Changeatabusytime，andwalkinandout，inakindofgloomycountrydancefigure，amongtheassembledmagnates。`For，'saysHerberttome，cominghometodinnerononeofthosespecialoccasions，`Ifindthetruthtobe，Handel，thatanopeningwon'tcometoone，butonemustgotoit-soIhavebeen。'
Ifwehadbeenlessattachedtooneanother，Ithinkwemusthavehatedoneanotherregularlyeverymorning。Idetestedthechambersbeyondexpressionatthatperiodofrepentance，andcouldnotendurethesightoftheAvenger'slivery:whichhadamoreexpensiveandalessremunerativeappearancethen，thanatanyothertimeinthefour-and-twentyhours。Aswegotmoreandmoreintodebtbreakfastbecameahollowerandhollowerform，and，beingononeoccasionatbreakfast-timethreatenedbyletterwithlegalproceedings，`notunwhollyunconnected，'asmylocalpapermightputit，`withjewellery，'
IwentsofarastoseizetheAvengerbyhisbluecollarandshakehimoffhisfeet-sothathewasactuallyintheair，likeabootedCupid-forpresumingtosupposethatwewantedaroll。
Atcertaintimes-meaningatuncertaintimes，fortheydependedonourhumour-IwouldsaytoHerbert，asifitwerearemarkablediscovery:
`MydearHerbert，wearegettingonbadly。'
`MydearHandel，'Herbertwouldsaytome，inallsincerity，ifyouwillbelieveme，thoseverywordswereonmylips，byastrangecoincidence。'
`Then，Herbert，'Iwouldrespond，`letuslookintooutaffairs。'
Wealwaysderivedprofoundsatisfactionfrommakinganappointmentforthispurpose。Ialwaysthoughtthiswasbusiness，thiswasthewaytoconfrontthething，thiswasthewaytotakethefoebythethroat。AndIknowHerbertthoughtsotoo。
Weorderedsomethingratherspecialfordinner，withabottleofsomethingsimilarlyoutofthecommonway，inorderthatourmindsmightbefortifiedfortheoccasion，andwemightcomewelluptothemark。Dinnerover，weproducedabundleofpens，acopioussupplyofink，andagoodlyshowofwritingandblottingpaper。For，therewassomethingverycomfortableinhavingplentyofstationery。
Iwouldthentakeasheetofpaper，andwriteacrossthetopofit，inaneathand，theheading，`MemorandumofPip'sdebts；'withBarnard'sInnandthedateverycarefullyadded。Herbertwouldalsotakeasheetofpaper，andwriteacrossitwithsimilarformalities，`MemorandumofHerbert'sdebts。'
Eachofuswouldthenrefertoaconfusedheapofpapersathisside，whichhadbeenthrownintodrawers，wornintoholesinPockets，half-burntinlightingcandles，stuckforweeksintothelooking-glass，andotherwisedamaged。Thesoundofourpensgoing，refreshedusexceedingly，insomuchthatIsometimesfounditdifficulttodistinguishbetweenthisedifyingbusinessproceedingandactuallypayingthemoney。Inpointofmeritoriouscharacter，thetwothingsseemedaboutequal。
Whenwehadwrittenalittlewhile，IwouldaskHerberthowhegoton？
Herbertprobablywouldhavebeenscratchinghisheadinamostruefulmanneratthesightofhisaccumulatingfigures。
`Theyaremountingup，Handel，'Herbertwouldsay；`uponmylife，theyaremountingup。'
`Befirm，Herbert，'Iwouldretort，plyingmyownpenwithgreatassiduity。
`Lookthethingintheface。Lookintoyouraffairs。Starethemoutofcountenance。'
`SoIwould，Handel，onlytheyarestaringmeoutofcountenance。'
However，mydeterminedmannerwouldhaveitseffect，andHerbertwouldfalltoworkagain。Afteratimehewouldgiveuponcemore，onthepleathathehadnotgotCobbs'sbill，orLobbs's，orNobbs's，asthecasemightbe。
`Then，Herbert，estimate；estimateitinroundnumbers，andputitdown。'
`Whatafellowofresourceyouare！'myfriendwouldreply，withadmiration。
`Reallyyourbusinesspowersareveryremarkable。'
Ithoughtsotoo。Iestablishedwithmyselfontheseoccasions，thereputationofafirst-ratemanofbusiness-prompt，decisive，energetic，clear，cool-headed。WhenIhadgotallmyresponsibilitiesdownuponmylist，Icomparedeachwiththebill，andtickeditoff。Myself-approvalwhenItickedanentrywasquitealuxurioussensation。WhenIhadnomoretickstomake，Ifoldedallmybillsupuniformly，docketedeachontheback，andtiedthewholeintoasymmetricalbundle。ThenIdidthesameforHerbertwhomodestlysaidhehadnotmyadministrativegenius，andfeltthatIhadbroughthisaffairsintoafocusforhim。
Mybusinesshabitshadoneotherbrightfeature，whichicalled`leavingaMargin。'Forexample；supposingHerbert'sdebtstobeonehundredandsixty-fourpoundsfour-and-twopence，Iwouldsay，`Leaveamargin，andputthemdownattwohundred。'Or，supposingmyowntobefourtimesasmuch，Iwouldleaveamargin，andputthemdownatsevenhundred。IhadthehighestopinionofthewisdomofthissameMargin，butIamboundtoacknowledgethatonlookingback，Ideemittohavebeenanexpensivedevice。
For，wealwaysranintonewdebtimmediately，tothefullextentofthemargin，andsometimes，inthesenseoffreedomandsolvencyitimparted，gotprettyfaronintoanothermargin。
Buttherewasacalm，arest，avirtuoushush，consequentontheseexaminationsofouraffairsthatgaveme，forthetime，anadmirableopinionofmyself。
Soothedbymyexertions，mymethod，andHerbert'scompliments，Iwouldsitwithhissymmetricalbundleandmyownonthetablebeforemeamongthestationary，andfeellikeaBankofsomesort，ratherthanaprivateindividual。
Weshutourouterdooronthesesolemnoccasions，inorderthatwemightnotbeinterrupted。Ihadfallenintomyserenestateoneevening，whenweheardaletterdroppedthroughtheslitinthesaiddoor，andfallontheground。`It'sforyou，Handel，'saidHerbert，goingoutandcomingbackwithit，`andIhopethereisnothingthematter。'Thiswasinallusiontoitsheavyblacksealandborder。
TheletterwassignedTRABB&；CO。，anditscontentsweresimply，thatIwasanhonouredsir，andthattheybeggedtoinformmethatMrsJ。GargeryhaddepartedthislifeonMondaylast，attwentyminutespastsixintheevening，andthatmyattendancewasrequestedattheintermentonMondaynextatthreeo'clockintheafternoon。
Chapter35
ITwasthefirsttimethatagravehadopenedinmyroadoflife，andthegapitmadeinthesmoothgroundwaswonderful。Thefigureofmysisterinherchairbythekitchenfire，hauntedmenightandday。Thattheplacecouldpossiblybe，withouther，wassomethingmymindseemedunabletocompass；andwhereasshehadseldomorneverbeeninmythoughtsoflate，Ihadnowthestrangestideasthatshewascomingtowardsmeinthestreet，orthatshewouldpresentlyknockatthedoor。Inmyroomstoo，withwhichshehadneverbeenatallassociated，therewasatoncetheblanknessofdeathandaperpetualsuggestionofthesoundofhervoiceortheturnofherfaceorfigure，asifshewerestillaliveandhadbeenoftenthere。
Whatevermyfortunesmighthavebeen，Icouldscarcelyhaverecalledmysisterwithmuchtenderness。ButIsupposethereisashockofregretwhichmayexistwithoutmuchtenderness。UnderitsinfluenceandperhapstomakeupforthewantofthesofterfeelingIwasseizedwithaviolentindignationagainsttheassailantfromwhomshehadsufferedsomuch；andIfeltthatonsufficientproofIcouldhaverevengefullypursuedOrlick，oranyoneelse，tothelastextremity。
HavingwrittentoJoe，toofferconsolation，andtoassurehimthatIshouldcometothefuneral，IpassedtheintermediatedaysinthecuriousstateofmindIhaveglancedat。Iwentdownearlyinthemorning，andalightedattheBlueBoaringoodtimetowalkovertotheforge。
Itwasfinesummerweatheragain，and，asIwalkedalong，thetimeswhenIwasalittlehelplesscreature，andmysisterdidnotspareme，vividlyreturned。ButtheyreturnedwithagentletoneuponthemthatsoftenedeventheedgeofTickler。Fornow，theverybreathofthebeansandcloverwhisperedtomyheartthatthedaymustcomewhenitwouldbewellformymemorythatotherswalkinginthesunshineshouldbesoftenedastheythoughtofme。
AtlastIcamewithinsightofthehouse，andsawthatTrabbandCo。
hadputinafunerealexecutionandtakenpossession。Twodismallyabsurdpersons，eachostentatiouslyexhibitingacrutchdoneupinablackbandage-asifthatinstrumentcouldpossiblycommunicateanycomforttoanybody-werepostedatthefrontdoor；andinoneofthemIrecognizedapostboydischargedfromtheBoarforturningayoungcoupleintoasawpitontheirbridalmorning，inconsequenceofintoxicationrenderingitnecessaryforhimtoridehishorseclaspedroundtheneckwithbotharms。Allthechildrenofthevillage，andmostofthewomen，wereadmiringthesesablewardersandtheclosedwindowsofthehouseandforge；andasIcameup，oneofthetwowardersthepostboyknockedatthedoor-implyingthatIwasfartoomuchexhaustedbygrief，tohavestrengthremainingtoknockformyself。
Anothersablewarderacarpenter，whohadonceeatentwogeeseforawageropenedthedoor，andshowedmeintothebestparlour。Here，MrTrabbhadtakenuntohimselfthebesttable，andhadgotalltheleavesup，andwasholdingakindofblackBazaar，withtheaidofaquantityofblackpins。Atthemomentofmyarrival，hehadjustfinishedputtingsomebody'shatintoblacklong-clothes，likeanAfricanbaby；soheheldouthishandformine。ButI，misledbytheaction，andconfusedbytheoccasion，shookhandswithhimwitheverytestimonyofwarmaffection。
PoordearJoe，entangledinalittleblackcloaktiedinalargebowunderhischin，wasseatedapartattheupperendoftheroom；where，aschiefmourner，hehadevidentlybeenstationedbyTrabb。WhenIbentdownandsaidtohim，`DearJoe，howareyou？'hesaid，`Pip，oldchap，youknowedherwhenshewereafinefigureofa——'andclaspedmyhandandsaidnomore。
Biddy，lookingveryneatandmodestinherblackdress，wentquietlyhereandthere，andwasveryhelpful。WhenIhadspokentoBiddy，asI
thoughtitnotatimefortalkingIwentandsatdownnearJoe，andtherebegantowonderinwhatpartofthehouseit-she-mysister-was。Theairoftheparlourbeingfaintwiththesmellofsweetcake，Ilookedaboutforthetableofrefreshments；itwasscarcelyvisibleuntilonehadgotaccustomedtothegloom，buttherewasacut-upplum-cakeuponit，andtherewerecut-uporanges，andsandwiches，andbiscuits，andtwodecantersthatIknewverywellasornaments，buthadneverseenusedinallmylife；
onefullofport，andoneofsherry。Standingatthistable，IbecameconsciousoftheservilePumblechookinablackcloakandseveralyardsofhatband，whowasalternatelystuffinghimself，andmakingobsequiousmovementstocatchmyattention。Themomenthesucceeded，hecameovertomebreathingsherryandcrumbs，andsaidinasubduedvoice，`MayI，dearsir？'anddid。IthendescriedMrandMrsHubble；thelast-namedinadecentspeechlessparoxysminacorner。Wewereallgoingto`follow，'andwereallincourseofbeingtiedupseparatelybyTrabbintoridiculousbundles。
`WhichImeantersay，Pip，'Joewhisperedme，aswewerebeingwhatMrTrabbcalled`formed'intheparlour，twoandtwo-anditwasdreadfullylikeapreparationforsomegrimkindofdance；`whichImeantersay，sir，asIwouldinpreferencehavecarriedhertothechurchmyself，alongwiththreeorfourfriendlyoneswotcometoitwithwillinghartsandarms，butitwereconsideredwottheneighbourswouldlookdownonsuchandwouldbeofopinionsasitwerewantinginrespect。'
`Pocket-handkerchiefsout，all！'criedMrTrabbatthispoint，inadepressedbusiness-likevoice。`Pocket-handkerchiefsout！Weareready！'
So，weallputourpocket-handkerchiefstoourfaces，asifournoseswerebleeding，andfiledouttwoandtwo；JoeandI；BiddyandPumblechook；
MrandMrsHubble。Theremainsofmypoorsisterhadbeenbroughtroundbythekitchendoor，and，itbeingapointofUndertakingceremonythatthesixbearersmustbestifledandblindedunderahorribleblackvelvethousingwithawhiteborder，thewholelookedlikeablindmonsterwithtwelvehumanlegs，shufflingandblunderingalong，undertheguidanceoftwokeepers-thepostboyandhiscomrade。
Theneighbourhood，however，highlyapprovedofthesearrangements，andweweremuchadmiredaswewentthroughthevillage；themoreyouthfulandvigorouspartofthecommunitymakingdashesnowandthentocutusoff，andlyinginwaittointerceptusatpointsofvantage。Atsuchtimesthemoreexuberantamongthemcalledoutinanexcitedmanneronouremergenceroundsomecornerofexpectancy，`Heretheycome！'`Heretheyare！'andwewereallbutcheered。InthisprogressIwasmuchannoyedbytheabjectPumblechook，who，beingbehindme，persistedallthewayasadelicateattentioninarrangingmystreaminghatband，andsmoothingmycloak。MythoughtswerefurtherdistractedbytheexcessiveprideofMrandMrsHubble，whoweresurpassinglyconceitedandvaingloriousinbeingmembersofsodistinguishedaprocession。
Andnow，therangeofmarsheslayclearbeforeus，withthesailsoftheshipsontherivergrowingoutofit；andwewentintothechurchyard，closetothegravesofmyunknownparents，PhilipPirrip，lateofthisparish，andAlsoGeorgiana，WifeoftheAbove。Andthere，mysisterwaslaidquietlyintheearthwhilethelarkssanghighaboveit，andthelightwindstreweditwithbeautifulshadowsofcloudsandtrees。
Oftheconductoftheworldly-mindedPumblechookwhilethiswasdoing，Idesiretosaynomorethanitwasalladdressedtome；andthatevenwhenthosenoblepassageswerereadwhichremindhumanityhowitbroughtnothingintotheworldandcantakenothingout，andhowitfleethlikeashadowandnevercontinuethlonginonestay，Iheardhimcoughareservationofthecaseofayounggentlemanwhocameunexpectedlyintolargeproperty。
Whenwegotback，hehadthehardihoodtotellmethathewishedmysistercouldhaveknownIhaddonehersomuchhonour，andtohintthatshewouldhaveconsidereditreasonablypurchasedatthepriceofherdeath。Afterthat，hedrankalltherestofthesherry，andMrHubbledranktheport，andthetwotalkedwhichIhavesinceobservedtobecustomaryinsuchcasesasiftheywereofquiteanotherracefromthedeceased，andwerenotoriouslyimmortal。Finally，hewentawaywithMrandMrsHubble-tomakeaneveningofit，Ifeltsure，andtotelltheJollyBargementhathewasthefounderofmyfortunesandmyearliestbenefactor。
Whentheywereallgone，andwhenTrabbandhismen-butnothisboy:
Ilookedforhim-hadcrammedtheirmummeryintobags，andweregonetoo，thehousefeltwholesomer。Soonafterwards，Biddy，Joe，andI，hadacolddinnertogether；butwedinedinthebestparlour，notintheoldkitchen，andJoewassoexceedinglyparticularwhathedidwithhisknifeandforkandthesaltcellarandwhatnot，thattherewasgreatrestraintuponus。
Butafterdinner，whenImadehimtakehispipe，andwhenIhadloiteredwithhimabouttheforge，andwhenwesatdowntogetheronthegreatblockofstoneoutsideit，wegotonbetter。InoticedthatafterthefuneralJoechangedhisclothessofar，astomakeacompromisebetweenhisSundaydressandworkingdress:inwhichthedearfellowlookednatural，andliketheManhewas。
HewasverymuchpleasedbymyaskingifImightsleepinmyownlittleroom，andIwaspleasedtoo；for，IfeltthatIhaddoneratheragreatthinginmakingtherequest。Whentheshadowsofeveningwereclosingin，ItookanopportunityofgettingintothegardenwithBiddyforalittletalk。
`Biddy，'saidI，`Ithinkyoumighthavewrittentomeaboutthesesadmatters。'
`Doyou，MrPip？'saidBiddy。`IshouldhavewrittenifIhadthoughtthat。'
`Don'tsupposethatImeantobeunkind，Biddy，whenIsayIconsiderthatyououghttohavethoughtthat。'
`Doyou，MrPip？'
Shewassoquiet，andhadsuchanorderly，good，andprettywaywithher，thatIdidnotlikethethoughtofmakinghercryagain。Afterlookingalittleatherdowncasteyesasshewalkedbesideme，Igaveupthatpoint。
`Isupposeitwillbedifficultforyoutoremainherenow，Biddydear？'
`Oh！Ican'tdoso，MrPip，'saidBiddy，inatoneofregret，butstillofquietconviction。`IhavebeenspeakingtoMrsHubble，andIamgoingtoherto-morrow。IhopeweshallbeabletotakesomecareofMrGargery，together，untilhesettlesdown。'
`Howareyougoingtolive，Biddy？Ifyouwantanymo——'
`HowamIgoingtolive？'repeatedBiddy，strikingin，withamomentaryflushuponherface。`I'lltellyou，MrPip。Iamgoingtotrytogettheplaceofmistressinthenewschoolnearlyfinishedhere。Icanbewellrecommendedbyalltheneighbours，andIhopeIcanbeindustriousandpatient，andteachmyselfwhileIteachothers。Youknow，MrPip，'pursuedBiddy，withasmile，assheraisedhereyestomyface，`thenewschoolsarenotliketheold，butIlearntagooddealfromyouafterthattime，andhavehadtimesincethentoimprove。'
`Ithinkyouwouldalwaysimprove，Biddy，underanycircumstances。'
`Ah！Exceptinmybadsideofhumannature，'murmuredBiddy。
Itwasnotsomuchareproach，asanirresistiblethinkingaloud。Well！
IthoughtIwouldgiveupthatpointtoo。So，IwalkedalittlefurtherwithBiddy，lookingsilentlyatherdowncasteyes。
`Ihavenotheardtheparticularsofmysister'sdeath，Biddy。'
`Theyareveryslight，poorthing。Shehadbeeninoneofherbadstates-thoughtheyhadgotbetteroflate，ratherthanworse-forfourdays，whenshecameoutofitintheevening，justatteatime，andsaidquiteplainly，"Joe。"Asshehadneversaidanywordforalongwhile，IranandfetchedinMrGargeryfromtheforge。Shemadesignstomethatshewantedhimtositdownclosetoher，andwantedmetoputherarmsroundhisneck。SoIputthemroundhisneck，andshelaidherheaddownonhisshoulderquitecontentandsatisfied。Andsoshepresentlysaid"Joe"again，andonce"Pardon，"andonce"Pip。"Andsosheneverliftedherheadupanymore，anditwasjustanhourlaterwhenwelaiditdownonherownbed，becausewefoundshewasgone。'
Biddycried；thedarkeninggarden，andthelane，andthestarsthatwerecomingout，wereblurredinmyownsight。
`Nothingwaseverdiscovered，Biddy？'
`Nothing。'
`DoyouknowwhatisbecomeofOrlick？'
`Ishouldthinkfromthecolourofhisclothesthatheisworkinginthequarries。'
`Ofcourseyouhaveseenhimthen？-Whyareyoulookingatthatdarktreeinthelane？'
`Isawhimthere，onthenightshedied。'
`Thatwasnotthelasttimeeither，Biddy？'
`No；Ihaveseenhimthere，sincewehavebeenwalkinghere-Itisofnouse，'saidBiddy，layingherhanduponmyarm，asIwasforrunningout，`youknowIwouldnotdeceiveyou；hewasnotthereaminute，andheisgone。'
Itrevivedmyutmostindignationtofindthatshewasstillpursuedbythisfellow，andIfeltinveterateagainsthim。Itoldherso，andtoldherthatIwouldspendanymoneyortakeanypainstodrivehimoutofthatcountry。Bydegreessheledmeintomoretemperatetalk，andshetoldmehowJoelovedme，andhowJoenevercomplainedofanything-shedidn'tsay，ofme；shehadnoneed；Iknewwhatshemeant-buteverdidhisdutyinhiswayoflife，withastronghand，quiettonguè；，andagentleheart。
`Indeed，itwouldbehardtosaytoomuchforhim，'saidI；`andBiddy，wemustoftenspeakofthesethings，forofcourseIshallbeoftendownherenow。IamnotgoingtoleavepoorJoealone。'
Biddysaidneverasingleword。
`Biddy，don'tyouhearme？'
`Yes，MrPip。'
`NottomentionyourcallingmeMrPip-whichappearstometobeinbadtaste，Biddy-whatdoyoumean？'
`WhatdoImean？'askedBiddy，timidly。
`Biddy，'saidI，inavirtuouslyself-assertingmanner，`Imustrequesttoknowwhatyoumeanbythis？'
`Bythis？'saidBiddy。
`Now，don'techo，'Iretorted。`Youusednottoecho，Biddy。'
`Usednot！'saidBiddy。`OMrPip！Used！'
Well！IratherthoughtIwouldgiveupthatpointtoo。Afteranothersilentturninthegarden，Ifellbackonthemainposition。
`Biddy，'saidI，`Imadearemarkrespectingmycomingdownhereoften，toseeJoe，whichyoureceivedwithamarkedsilence。Havethegoodness，Biddy，totellmewhy。'
`Areyouquitesure，then，thatyouWILLcometoseehimoften？'askedBiddy，stoppinginthenarrowgardenwalk，andlookingatmeunderthestarswithaclearandhonesteye。
`Ohdearme！'saidI，asifIfoundmyselfcompelledtogiveupBiddyindespair。`Thisreallyisaverybadsideofhumannature！Don'tsayanymore，ifyouplease，Biddy。Thisshocksmeverymuch。'
ForwhichcogentreasonIkeptBiddyatadistanceduringsupper，and，whenIwentuptomyownoldlittleroom，tookasstatelyaleaveofherasIcould，inmymurmuringsoul，deemreconcilablewiththechurchyardandtheeventoftheday。AsoftenasIwasrestlessinthenight，andthatwaseveryquarterofanhour，Ireflectedwhatanunkindness，whataninjury，whataninjustice，Biddyhaddoneme。
Earlyinthemorning，Iwastogo。Earlyinthemorning，Iwasout，andlookingin，unseen，atoneofthewoodenwindowsoftheforge。ThereIstood，forminutes，lookingatJoe，alreadyatworkwithaglowofhealthandstrengthuponhisfacethatmadeitshowasifthebrightsunofthelifeinstoreforhimwereshiningonit。
`Good-bye，dearJoe！-No，don'twipeitoff-forGod'ssake，givemeyourblackenedhand！-Ishallbedownsoon，andoften。'
`Nevertoosoon，sir，'saidJoe，`andnevertoooften，Pip！'
Biddywaswaitingformeatthekitchendoor，withamugofnewmilkandacrustofbread。`Biddy，'saidI，whenIgavehermyhandatparting，`Iamnotangry，butIamhurt。'
`No，don'tbehurt，'shepleadedquitepathetically；`letonlymebehurt，ifIhavebeenungenerous。'
Oncemore，themistswererisingasIwalkedaway。Iftheydisclosedtome，asIsuspecttheydid，thatIshouldnotcomeback，andthatBiddywasquiteright，allIcansayis-theywerequiterighttoo。
Chapter36
HERBERTandIwentonfrombadtoworse，inthewayofincreasingourdebts，lookingintoouraffairs，leavingMargins，andthelikeexemplarytransactions；andTimewenton，whetherorno，ashehasawayofdoing；
andIcameofage-infulfilmentofHerbert'sprediction，thatIshoulddosobeforeIknewwhereIwas。
Herberthimselfhadcomeofage，eightmonthsbeforeme。Ashehadnothingelsethanhismajoritytocomeinto，theeventdidnotmakeaprofoundsensationinBarnard'sInn。Butwehadlookedforwardtomyone-and-twentiethbirthday，withacrowdofspeculationsandanticipations，forwehadbothconsideredthatmyguardiancouldhardlyhelpsayingsomethingdefiniteonthatoccasion。
IhadtakencaretohaveitwellunderstoodinLittleBritain，whenmybirthdaywas。Onthedaybeforeit，IreceivedanofficialnotefromWemmick，informingmethatMrJaggerswouldbegladifIwouldcalluponhimatfiveintheafternoonoftheauspiciousday。Thisconvincedusthatsomethinggreatwastohappen，andthrewmeintoanunusualflutterwhenIrepairedtomyguardian'soffice，amodelofpunctuality。
IntheouterofficeWemmickofferedmehiscongratulations，andincidentallyrubbedthesideofhisnosewithafoldedpieceoftissuepaperthatIlikedthelookof。Buthesaidnothingrespectingit，andmotionedmewithanodintomyguardian'sroom。ItwasNovember，andmyguardianwasstandingbeforehisfireleaninghisbackagainstthechimney-piece，withhishandsunderhiscoattails。
`Well，Pip，'saidhe，`ImustcallyouMrPipto-day。Congratulations，MrPip。'
Weshookhands-hewasalwaysaremarkablyshortshaker-andIthankedhim。
`Takeachair，MrPip，'saidmyguardian。
AsIsatdown，andhepreservedhisattitudeandbenthisbrowsathisboots，Ifeltatadisadvantage，whichremindedmeofthatoldtimewhenIhadbeenputuponatombstone。Thetwoghastlycastsontheshelfwerenotfarfromhim，andtheirexpressionwasasiftheyweremakingastupidapoplecticattempttoattendtotheconversation。
`Nowmyyoungfriend，'myguardianbegan，asifIwereawitnessinthebox，`Iamgoingtohaveawordortwowithyou。'
`Ifyouplease，sir。'
`Whatdoyousuppose，'saidMrJaggers，bendingforwardtolookattheground，andthenthrowinghisheadbacktolookattheceiling，`whatdoyousupposeyouarelivingattherateof？'
`Attherateof，sir？'
`At，'repeatedMrJaggers，stilllookingattheceiling，`the-rate-of？'Andthenlookedallroundtheroom，andpausedwithhispocket-handkerchiefinhishand，halfwaytohisnose。
Ihadlookedintomyaffairssooften，thatIhadthoroughlydestroyedanyslightnotionImighteverhavehadoftheirbearings。Reluctantly，Iconfessedmyselfquiteunabletoanswerthequestion。ThisreplyseemedagreeabletoMrJaggers，whosaid，`Ithoughtso！'andblewhisnosewithanairofsatisfaction。
`Now，Ihaveaskedyouaquestion，myfriend，'saidMrJaggers。
`Haveyouanythingtoaskme？'
`Ofcourseitwouldbeagreatrelieftometoaskyouseveralquestions，sir；butIrememberyourprohibition。'
`Askone，'saidMrJaggers。
`Ismybenefactortobemadeknowntometo-day？'
`No。Askanother。'
`Isthatconfidencetobeimpartedtomesoon？'
`Waivethat，amoment，'saidMrJaggers，`andaskanother。'
Ilookedaboutme，butthereappearedtobenownopossibleescapefromtheinquiry，`Have-I-anythingtoreceive，sir？'Onthat，MrJaggerssaid，triumphantly，`Ithoughtweshouldcometoit！'andcalledtoWemmicktogivehimthatpieceofpaper。Wemmickappeared，handeditin，anddisappeared。
`Now，MrPip，'saidMrJaggers，`attend，ifyouplease。Youhavebeendrawingprettyfreelyhere；yournameoccursprettyofteninWemmick'scash-book；butyouareindebt，ofcourse？'
`IamafraidImustsayyes，sir。'
`Youknowyoumustsayyes；don'tyou？'saidMrJaggers。
`Yes，sir。'
`Idon'taskyouwhatyouowe，becauseyoudon'tknow；andifyoudidknow，youwouldn'ttellme；youwouldsayless。Yes，yes，myfriend，'criedMrJaggers，wavinghisforefingertostopme，asImadeashowofprotesting:
`it'slikelyenoughthatyouthinkyouwouldn't，butyouwould。You'llexcuseme，butIknowbetterthanyou。Now，takethispieceofpaperinyourhand。Youhavegotit？Verygood。Now，unfolditandtellmewhatitis。'
`Thisisabank-note，'saidI，`forfivehundredpounds。'
`Thatisabank-note，'repeatedMrJaggers，`forfivehundredpounds。
Andaveryhandsomesumofmoneytoo，Ithink。Youconsideritso？'
`HowcouldIdootherwise！'
`Ah！Butanswerthequestion，'saidMrJaggers。
`Undoubtedly。'
`Youconsiderit，undoubtedly，ahandsomesumofmoney。Now，thathandsomesumofmoney，Pip，isyourown。Itisapresenttoyouonthisday，inearnestofyourexpectations。Andattherateofthathandsomesumofmoneyperannum，andatnohigherrate，youaretoliveuntilthedonorofthewholeappears。Thatistosay，youwillnowtakeyourmoneyaffairsentirelyintoyourownhands，andyouwilldrawfromWemmickonehundredandtwenty-fivepoundsperquarter，untilyouareincommunicationwiththefountain-head，andnolongerwiththemereagent。AsIhavetoldyoubefore，Iamthemereagent。Iexecutemyinstructions，andIampaidfordoingso。Ithinktheminjudicious，butIamnotpaidforgivinganyopinionontheirmerits。'
IwasbeginningtoexpressmygratitudetomybenefactorforthegreatliberalitywithwhichIwastreated，whenMrJaggersstoppedme。`Iamnotpaid，Pip，'saidhe，coolly，`tocarryyourwordstoanyone；'andthengathereduphiscoat-tails，ashehadgatheredupthesubject，andstoodfrowningathisbootsasifhesuspectedthemofdesignsagainsthim。
Afterapause，Ihinted:
`Therewasaquestionjustnow，MrJaggers，whichyoudesiredmetowaiveforamoment。IhopeIamdoingnothingwronginaskingitagain？'
`Whatisit？'saidhe。
Imighthaveknownthathewouldneverhelpmeout；butittookmeabacktohavetoshapethequestionafresh，asifitwerequitenew。`Isitlikely，'
Isaid，afterhesitating，`thatmypatron，thefountain-headyouhavespokenof，MrJaggers，willsoon——'thereIdelicatelystopped。
`Willsoonwhat？'askedMrJaggers。`That'snoquestionasitstands，youknow。'
`WillsooncometoLondon，'saidI，aftercastingaboutforapreciseformofwords，`orsummonmeanywhereelse？'
`Nowhere，'repliedMrJaggers，fixingmeforthefirsttimewithhisdarkdeep-seteyes，`wemustreverttotheeveningwhenwefirstencounteredoneanotherinyourvillage。WhatdidItellyouthen，Pip？'
`Youtoldme，MrJaggers，thatitmightbeyearshencewhenthatpersonappeared。'
`Justso，'saidMrJaggers；`that'smyanswer。'
Aswelookedfullatoneanother，Ifeltmybreathcomequickerinmystrongdesiretogetsomethingoutofhim。AndasIfeltthatitcamequicker，andasIfeltthathesawthatitcamequicker，IfeltthatIhadlesschancethaneverofgettinganythingoutofhim。
`Doyousupposeitwillstillbeyearshence，MrJaggers？'
MrJaggersshookhishead-notinnegativingthequestion，butinaltogethernegativingthenotionthathecouldanyhowbegottoanswerit-andthetwohorriblecastsofthetwitchedfaceslooked，whenmyeyesstrayeduptothem，asiftheyhadcometoacrisisintheirsuspendedattention，andweregoingtosneeze。
`Come！'saidMrJaggers，warmingthebacksofhislegswiththebacksofhiswarmedhands，`I'llbeplainwithyou，myfriendPip。That'saquestionImustnotbeasked。You'llunderstandthat，better，whenItellyouit'saquestionthatmightcompromiseme。Come！I'llgoalittlefurtherwithyou；I'llsaysomethingmore。'
Hebentdownsolowtofrownathisboots，thathewasabletorubthecalvesofhislegsinthepausehemade。
`Whenthatpersondiscloses，'saidMrJaggers，straighteninghimself，`youandthatpersonwillsettleyourownaffairs。Whenthatpersondiscloses，mypartinthisbusinesswillceaseanddetermine。Whenthatpersondiscloses，itwillnotbenecessaryformetoknowanythingaboutit。Andthat'sallIhavegottosay。'
WelookedatoneanotheruntilIwithdrewmyeyes，andlookedthoughtfullyatthefloor。FromthislastspeechIderivedthenotionthatMissHavisham，forsomereasonornoreason，hadnottakenhimintoherconfidenceastoherdesigningmeforEstella；thatheresentedthis，andfeltajealousyaboutit；orthathereallydidobjecttothatscheme，andwouldhavenothingtodowithit。WhenIraisedmyeyesagain，Ifoundthathehadbeenshrewdlylookingatmeallthetime，andwasdoingsostill。
`Ifthatisallyouhavetosay，sir，'Iremarked，`therecanbenothingleftformetosay。'
Henoddedassent，andpulledouthisthief-dreadedwatch，andaskedmewhereIwasgoingtodine？Irepliedatmyownchambers，withHerbert。
Asanecessarysequence，Iaskedhimifhewouldfavouruswithhiscompany，andhepromptlyacceptedtheinvitation。Butheinsistedonwalkinghomewithme，inorderthatImightmakenoextrapreparationforhim，andfirsthehadaletterortwotowrite，andofcoursehadhishandstowash。
So，IsaidIwouldgointotheouterofficeandtalktoWemmick。
Thefactwas，thatwhenthefivehundredpoundshadcomeintomypocket，athoughthadcomeintomyheadwhichhadbeenoftentherebefore；anditappearedtomethatWemmickwasagoodpersontoadvisewith，concerningsuchthought。
Hehadalreadylockeduphissafe，andmadepreparationsforgoinghome。
Hehadlefthisdesk，broughtouthistwogreasyofficecandlesticksandstoodtheminlinewiththesnuffersonaslabnearthedoor，readytobeextinguished；hehadrakedhisfirelow，puthishatandgreat-coatready，andwasbeatinghimselfalloverthechestwithhissafe-key，asanathleticexerciseafterbusiness。
`MrWemmick，'saidI，`Iwanttoaskyouropinion。Iamverydesiroustoserveafriend。'
Wemmicktightenedhispost-officeandshookhishead，asifhisopinionweredeadagainstanyfatalweaknessofthatsort。
`Thisfriend，'Ipursued，`istryingtogetonincommerciallife，buthasnomoney，andfindsitdifficultanddishearteningtomakeabeginning。
Now，Iwantsomehowtohelphimtoabeginning。'
`Withmoneydown？'saidWemmick，inatonedrierthananysawdust。
`Withsomemoneydown，'Ireplied，foranuneasyremembranceshotacrossmeofthatsymmetricalbundleofpapersathome；`withsomemoneydown，andperhapssomeanticipationofmyexpectations。'
`MrPip，'saidWemmick，`Ishouldlikejusttorunoverwithyouonmyfingers，ifyouplease，thenamesofthevariousbridgesupashighasChelseaReach。Let'ssee；there'sLondon，one；Southwark，two；Blackfriars，three；Waterloo，four；Westminster，five；Vauxhall，six。'Hehadcheckedoffeachbridgeinitsturn，withthehandleofhissafe-keyonthepalmofhishand。`There'sasmanyassix，yousee，tochoosefrom。'
`Idon'tunderstandyou，'saidI。
`Chooseyourbridge，MrPip，'returnedWemmick，`andtakeawalkuponyourbridge，andpitchyourmoneyintotheThamesoverthecentrearchofyourbridge，andyouknowtheendofit。Serveafriendwithit，andyoumayknowtheendofittoo-butit'salesspleasantandprofitableend。'
Icouldhavepostedanewspaperinhismouth，hemadeitsowideaftersayingthis。
`Thisisverydiscouraging，'saidI。
`Meanttobeso，'saidWemmick。
`Thenisityouropinion，'Iinquired，withsomelittleindignation，`thatamanshouldnever——'
`-Investportablepropertyinafriend？'saidWemmick。`Certainlyheshouldnot。Unlesshewantstogetridofthefriend-andthenitbecomesaquestionhowmuchportablepropertyitmaybeworthtogetridofhim。'
`Andthat，'saidI，`isyourdeliberateopinion，MrWemmick？'
`That，'hereturned，`ismydeliberateopinioninthisoffice。'
`Ah！'saidI，pressinghim，forIthoughtIsawhimnearaloopholehere；`butwouldthatbeyouropinionatWalworth？'
`MrPip，'hereplied，withgravity，`Walworthisoneplace，andthisofficeisanother。MuchastheAgedisoneperson，andMrJaggersisanother。
Theymustnotbeconfoundedtogether。MyWalworthsentimentsmustbetakenatWalworth；nonebutmyofficialsentimentscanbetakeninthisoffice。'
`Verywell，'saidI，muchrelieved，`thenIshalllookyouupatWalworth，youmaydependuponit。'
`MrPip，'hereturned，`youwillbewelcomethere，inaprivateandpersonalcapacity。'
Wehadheldthisconversationinalowvoice，wellknowingmyguardian'searstobethesharpestofthesharp。Ashenowappearedinhisdoorway，towellinghishands，Wemmickgotonhisgreatcoatandstoodbytosnuffoutthecandles。Weallthreewentintothestreettogether，andfromthedoor-stepWemmickturnedhisway，andMrJaggersandIturnedours。
Icouldnothelpwishingmorethanoncethatevening，thatMrJaggershadhadanAgedinGerrard-street，oraStinger，oraSomething，oraSomebody，tounbendhisbrowsalittle。Itwasanuncomfortableconsiderationonatwenty-firstbirthday，thatcomingofageatallseemedhardlyworthwhileinsuchaguardedandsuspiciousworldashemadeofit。HewasathousandtimesbetterinformedandclevererthanWemmick，andyetIwouldathousandtimesratherhavehadWemmicktodinner。AndMrJaggersmadenotmealoneintenselymelancholy，because，afterhewasgone，Herbertsaidofhimself，withhiseyesfixedonthefire，thathethoughthemusthavecommittedafelonyandforgottenthedetailsofit，hefeltsodejectedandguilty。
Chapter37
DEEMINGSundaythebestdayfortakingMrWemmick'sWalworthsentiments，IdevotedthenextensuingSundayafternoontoapilgrimagetotheCastle。
Onarrivingbeforethebattlements，IfoundtheUnionJackflyingandthedrawbridgeup；butundeterredbythisshowofdefianceandresistance，Irangatthegate，andwasadmittedinamostpacificmannerbytheAged。
`Myson，sir，'saidtheoldman，aftersecuringthedrawbridge，`ratherhaditinhismindthatyoumighthappentodropin，andheleftwordthathewouldsoonbehomefromhisafternoon'swalk。Heisveryregularinhiswalks，ismyson。Veryregularineverything，ismyson。'
InoddedattheoldgentlemanasWemmickhimselfmighthavenodded，andwewentinandsatdownbythefireside。
`Youmadeacquaintancewithmyson，sir，'saidtheoldman，inhischirpingway，whilehewarmedhishandsattheblaze，`athisoffice，Iexpect？'
Inodded。`Hah！Ihaveheerdthatmysonisawonderfulhandathisbusiness，sir？'Inoddedhard。`Yes；sotheytellme。HisbusinessistheLaw？'I
noddedharder。`Whichmakesitmoresurprisinginmyson，'saidtheoldman，`forhewasnotbroughtuptotheLaw，buttotheWine-Coopering。'
CurioustoknowhowtheoldgentlemanstoodinformedconcerningthereputationofMrJaggers，Iroaredthatnameathim。Hethrewmeintothegreatestconfusionbylaughingheartilyandreplyinginaverysprightlymanner，`No，tobesure；you'reright。'AndtothishourIhavenotthefaintestnotionwhathemeant，orwhatjokehethoughtIhadmade。
AsIcouldnotsittherenoddingathimperpetually，withoutmakingsomeotherattempttointeresthim，Ishoutedatinquirywhetherhisowncallinginlifehadbeen`theWine-Coopering。'Bydintofstrainingthattermoutofmyselfseveraltimesandtappingtheoldgentlemanonthechesttoassociateitwithhim，Iatlastsucceededinmakingmymeaningunderstood。
`No，'saidtheoldgentleman；`thewarehousing，thewarehousing。First，overyonder；'heappearedtomeanupthechimney，butIbelieveheintendedtorefermetoLiverpool；`andthenintheCityofLondonhere。However，havinganinfirmity-forIamhardofhearing，sir——'
Iexpressedinpantomimethegreatestastonishment。
`-Yes，hardofhearing；havingthatinfirmitycominguponme，mysonhewentintotheLaw，andhetookchargeofme，andhebylittleandlittlemadeoutthiselegantandbeautifulproperty。Butreturningtowhatyousaid，youknow，'pursuedtheoldman，againlaughingheartily，`whatI
sayis，Notobesure；you'reright。'
Iwasmodestlywonderingwhethermyutmostingenuitywouldhaveenabledmetosayanythingthatwouldhaveamusedhimhalfasmuchasthisimaginarypleasantry，whenIwasstartledbyasuddenclickinthewallononesideofthechimney，andtheghostlytumblingopenofalittlewoodenflapwith`JOHN'uponit。Theoldman，followingmyeyes，criedwithgreattriumph，`Myson'scomehome！'andwebothwentouttothedrawbridge。
ItwasworthanymoneytoseeWemmickwavingasalutetomefromtheothersideofthemoat，whenwemighthaveshakenhandsacrossitwiththegreatestease。TheAgedwassodelightedtoworkthedrawbridge，thatImadenooffertoassisthim，butstoodquietuntilWemmickhadcomeacross，andhadpresentedmetoMissSkiffins:aladybywhomhewasaccompanied。
MissSkiffinswasofawoodenappearance，andwas，likeherescort，inthepost-officebranchoftheservice。ShemighthavebeensometwoorthreeyearsyoungerthanWemmick，andIjudgedhertostandpossessedofportableproperty。Thecutofherdressfromthewaistupward，bothbeforeandbehind，madeherfigureverylikeaboy'skite；andImighthavepronouncedhergownalittletoodecidedlyorange，andherglovesalittletoointenselygreen。Butsheseemedtobeagoodsortoffellow，andshowedahighregardfortheAged。IwasnotlongindiscoveringthatshewasafrequentvisitorattheCastle；for，onourgoingin，andmycomplimentingWemmickonhisingeniouscontrivanceforannouncinghimselftotheAged，hebeggedmetogivemyattentionforamomenttotheothersideofthechimney，anddisappeared。Presentlyanotherclickcame，andanotherlittledoortumbledopenwith`MissSkiffins'onit；thenMissSkiffinsshutupandJohntumbledopen；thenMissSkiffinsandJohnbothtumbledopentogether，andfinallyshutuptogether。OnWemmick'sreturnfromworkingthesemechanicalappliances，IexpressedthegreatadmirationwithwhichIregardedthem，andhesaid，`Well，youknow，they'rebothpleasantandusefultotheAged。AndbyGeorge，sir，it'sathingworthmentioning，thatofallthepeoplewhocometothisgate，thesecretofthosepullsisonlyknowntotheAged，MissSkiffins，andme！'
`AndMrWemmickmadethem，'addedMissSkiffins，`withhisownhandsoutofhisownhead。'
WhileMissSkiffinswastakingoffherbonnetsheretainedhergreenglovesduringtheeveningasanoutwardandvisiblesignthattherewascompany，Wemmickinvitedmetotakeawalkwithhimroundtheproperty，andseehowtheislandlookedinwintertime。ThinkingthathedidthistogivemeanopportunityoftakinghisWalworthsentiments，IseizedtheopportunityassoonaswewereoutoftheCastle。
Havingthoughtofthematterwithcare，IapproachedmysubjectasifIhadneverhintedatitbefore。IinformedWemmickthatIwasanxiousinbehalfofHerbertPocket，andItoldhimhowwehadfirstmet，andhowwehadfought。IglancedatHerbert'shome，andathischaracter，andathishavingnomeansbutsuchashewasdependentonhisfatherfor:those，uncertainandunpunctual。
IalludedtotheadvantagesIhadderivedinmyfirstrawnessandignorancefromhissociety，andIconfessedthatIfearedIhadbutillrepaidthem，andthathemighthavedonebetterwithoutmeandmyexpectations。KeepingMissHavishaminthebackgroundatagreatdistance，Istillhintedatthepossibilityofmyhavingcompetedwithhiminhisprospects，andatthecertaintyofhispossessingageneroussoul，andbeingfaraboveanymeandistrusts，retaliations，ordesigns。ForallthesereasonsItoldWemmick，andbecausehewasmyyoungcompanionandfriend，andIhadagreataffectionforhim，Iwishedmyowngoodfortunetoreflectsomeraysuponhim，andthereforeIsoughtadvicefromWemmick'sexperienceandknowledgeofmenandaffairs，howIcouldbesttrywithmyresourcestohelpHerberttosomepresentincome-sayofahundredayear，tokeephimingoodhopeandheart-andgraduallytobuyhimontosomesmallpartnership。IbeggedWemmick，inconclusion，tounderstandthatmyhelpmustalwaysberenderedwithoutHerbert'sknowledgeorsuspicion，andthattherewasnooneelseintheworldwithwhomIcouldadvise。Iwoundupbylayingmyhanduponhisshoulder，andsaying，`Ican'thelpconfidinginyou，thoughIknowitmustbetroublesometoyou；butthatisyourfault，inhavingeverbroughtmehere。'
Wemmickwassilentforalittlewhile，andthensaidwithakindofstart，`Wellyouknow，MrPip，Imusttellyouonething。Thisisdevilishgoodofyou。'
`Sayyou'llhelpmetobegoodthen，'saidI。
`Ecod，'repliedWemmick，shakinghishead，`that'snotmytrade。'
`Noristhisyourtrading-place，'saidI。
`Youareright，'hereturned。`Youhitthenailonthehead。MrPip，I'llputonmyconsidering-cap，andIthinkallyouwanttodo，maybedonebydegrees。Skiffinsthat'sherbrotherisanaccountantandagent。
I'lllookhimupandgotoworkforyou。'
`Ithankyoutenthousandtimes。'
`Onthecontrary，'saidhe，`Ithankyou，forthoughwearestrictlyinourprivateandpersonalcapacity，stillitmaybementionedthatthereareNewgatecobwebsabout，anditbrushesthemaway。'
Afteralittlefurtherconversationtothesameeffect，wereturnedintotheCastlewherewefoundMissSkiffinspreparingtea。TheresponsibledutyofmakingthetoastwasdelegatedtotheAged，andthatexcellentoldgentlemanwassointentuponitthatheseemedtomeinsomedangerofmeltinghiseyes。Itwasnonominalmealthatweweregoingtomake，butavigorousreality。TheAgedpreparedsuchahaystackofbutteredtoast，thatIcouldscarcelyseehimoveritasitsimmeredonanironstandhookedontothetop-bar；whileMissSkiffinsbrewedsuchajorumoftea，thatthepiginthebackpremisesbecamestronglyexcited，andrepeatedlyexpressedhisdesiretoparticipateintheentertainment。
Theflaghadbeenstruck，andthegunhadbeenfired，attherightmomentoftime，andIfeltassnuglycutofffromtherestofWalworthasifthemoatwerethirtyfeetwidebyasmanydeep。NothingdisturbedthetranquillityoftheCastle，buttheoccasionaltumblingopenofJohnandMissSkiffins:
whichlittledoorswereapreytosomespasmodicinfirmitythatmademesympatheticallyuncomfortableuntilIgotusedtoit。IinferredfromthemethodicalnatureofMissSkiffins'sarrangementsthatshemadeteathereeverySundaynight；andIrathersuspectedthataclassicbroochshewore，representingtheprofileofanundesirablefemalewithaverystraightnoseandaverynewmoon，wasapieceofportablepropertythathadbeengivenherbyWemmick。
Weatethewholeofthetoast，anddrankteainproportion，anditwasdelightfultoseehowwarmandgreasyweallgotafterit。TheAgedespecially，mighthavepassedforsomecleanoldchiefofasavagetribe，justoiled。
Afterashortpauseofrepose，MissSkiffins-intheabsenceofthelittleservantwho，itseemed，retiredtothebosomofherfamilyonSundayafternoons-washedupthetea-things，inatriflinglady-likeamateurmannerthatcompromisednoneofus。Then，sheputonherglovesagain，andwedrewroundthefire，andWemmicksaid，`NowAgedParent，tipusthepaper。'