CHAPTERI-THEONETHINGNEEDFUL
'NOW,whatIwantis,Facts。TeachtheseboysandgirlsnothingbutFacts。Factsalonearewantedinlife。Plantnothingelse,androotouteverythingelse。YoucanonlyformthemindsofreasoninganimalsuponFacts:nothingelsewilleverbeofanyservicetothem。ThisistheprincipleonwhichIbringupmyownchildren,andthisistheprincipleonwhichIbringupthesechildren。SticktoFacts,sir!'
Thescenewasaplain,bare,monotonousvaultofaschool-room,andthespeaker'ssquareforefingeremphasizedhisobservationsbyunderscoringeverysentencewithalineontheschoolmaster'ssleeve。Theemphasiswashelpedbythespeaker'ssquarewallofaforehead,whichhadhiseyebrowsforitsbase,whilehiseyesfoundcommodiouscellarageintwodarkcaves,overshadowedbythewall。
Theemphasiswashelpedbythespeaker'smouth,whichwaswide,thin,andhardset。Theemphasiswashelpedbythespeaker'svoice,whichwasinflexible,dry,anddictatorial。Theemphasiswashelpedbythespeaker'shair,whichbristledontheskirtsofhisbaldhead,aplantationoffirstokeepthewindfromitsshiningsurface,allcoveredwithknobs,likethecrustofaplumpie,asiftheheadhadscarcelywarehouse-roomforthehardfactsstoredinside。Thespeaker'sobstinatecarriage,squarecoat,squarelegs,squareshoulders,-nay,hisveryneckcloth,trainedtotakehimbythethroatwithanunaccommodatinggrasp,likeastubbornfact,asitwas,-allhelpedtheemphasis。
'Inthislife,wewantnothingbutFacts,sir;nothingbutFacts!'
Thespeaker,andtheschoolmaster,andthethirdgrownpersonpresent,allbackedalittle,andsweptwiththeireyestheinclinedplaneoflittlevesselsthenandtherearrangedinorder,readytohaveimperialgallonsoffactspouredintothemuntiltheywerefulltothebrim。
CHAPTERII-MURDERINGTHEINNOCENTS
THOMASGRADGRIND,sir。Amanofrealities。Amanoffactsandcalculations。Amanwhoproceedsupontheprinciplethattwoandtwoarefour,andnothingover,andwhoisnottobetalkedintoallowingforanythingover。ThomasGradgrind,sir-peremptorilyThomas-ThomasGradgrind。Witharuleandapairofscales,andthemultiplicationtablealwaysinhispocket,sir,readytoweighandmeasureanyparcelofhumannature,andtellyouexactlywhatitcomesto。Itisamerequestionoffigures,acaseofsimplearithmetic。YoumighthopetogetsomeothernonsensicalbeliefintotheheadofGeorgeGradgrind,orAugustusGradgrind,orJohnGradgrind,orJosephGradgrindallsupposititious,non-existentpersons,butintotheheadofThomasGradgrind-no,sir!
InsuchtermsMr。Gradgrindalwaysmentallyintroducedhimself,whethertohisprivatecircleofacquaintance,ortothepublicingeneral。Insuchterms,nodoubt,substitutingthewords'boysandgirls,'for'sir,'ThomasGradgrindnowpresentedThomasGradgrindtothelittlepitchersbeforehim,whoweretobefilledsofulloffacts。
Indeed,asheeagerlysparkledatthemfromthecellaragebeforementioned,heseemedakindofcannonloadedtothemuzzlewithfacts,andpreparedtoblowthemcleanoutoftheregionsofchildhoodatonedischarge。Heseemedagalvanizingapparatus,too,chargedwithagrimmechanicalsubstituteforthetenderyoungimaginationsthatweretobestormedaway。
'Girlnumbertwenty,'saidMr。Gradgrind,squarelypointingwithhissquareforefinger,'Idon'tknowthatgirl。Whoisthatgirl?'
'SissyJupe,sir,'explainednumbertwenty,blushing,standingup,andcurtseying。
'Sissyisnotaname,'saidMr。Gradgrind。'Don'tcallyourselfSissy。CallyourselfCecilia。'
'It'sfatherascallsmeSissy,sir,'returnedtheyounggirlinatremblingvoice,andwithanothercurtsey。
'Thenhehasnobusinesstodoit,'saidMr。Gradgrind。'Tellhimhemustn't。CeciliaJupe。Letmesee。Whatisyourfather?'
'Hebelongstothehorse-riding,ifyouplease,sir。'
Mr。Gradgrindfrowned,andwavedofftheobjectionablecallingwithhishand。
'Wedon'twanttoknowanythingaboutthat,here。Youmustn'ttellusaboutthat,here。Yourfatherbreakshorses,don'the?'
'Ifyouplease,sir,whentheycangetanytobreak,theydobreakhorsesinthering,sir。'
'Youmustn'ttellusaboutthering,here。Verywell,then。
Describeyourfatherasahorsebreaker。Hedoctorssickhorses,I
daresay?'
'Ohyes,sir。'
'Verywell,then。Heisaveterinarysurgeon,afarrier,andhorsebreaker。Givemeyourdefinitionofahorse。'
SissyJupethrownintothegreatestalarmbythisdemand。
'Girlnumbertwentyunabletodefineahorse!'saidMr。Gradgrind,forthegeneralbehoofofallthelittlepitchers。'Girlnumbertwentypossessedofnofacts,inreferencetooneofthecommonestofanimals!Someboy'sdefinitionofahorse。Bitzer,yours。'
Thesquarefinger,movinghereandthere,lightedsuddenlyonBitzer,perhapsbecausehechancedtositinthesamerayofsunlightwhich,dartinginatoneofthebarewindowsoftheintenselywhite-washedroom,irradiatedSissy。For,theboysandgirlssatonthefaceoftheinclinedplaneintwocompactbodies,dividedupthecentrebyanarrowinterval;andSissy,beingatthecornerofarowonthesunnyside,cameinforthebeginningofasunbeam,ofwhichBitzer,beingatthecornerofarowontheotherside,afewrowsinadvance,caughttheend。But,whereasthegirlwassodark-eyedanddark-haired,thatsheseemedtoreceiveadeeperandmorelustrouscolourfromthesun,whenitshoneuponher,theboywassolight-eyedandlight-hairedthattheself-sameraysappearedtodrawoutofhimwhatlittlecolourheeverpossessed。Hiscoldeyeswouldhardlyhavebeeneyes,butfortheshortendsoflasheswhich,bybringingthemintoimmediatecontrastwithsomethingpalerthanthemselves,expressedtheirform。Hisshort-croppedhairmighthavebeenamerecontinuationofthesandyfrecklesonhisforeheadandface。Hisskinwassounwholesomelydeficientinthenaturaltinge,thathelookedasthough,ifhewerecut,hewouldbleedwhite。
'Bitzer,'saidThomasGradgrind。'Yourdefinitionofahorse。'
'Quadruped。Graminivorous。Fortyteeth,namelytwenty-fourgrinders,foureye-teeth,andtwelveincisive。Shedscoatinthespring;inmarshycountries,shedshoofs,too。Hoofshard,butrequiringtobeshodwithiron。Ageknownbymarksinmouth。'
ThusandmuchmoreBitzer。
'Nowgirlnumbertwenty,'saidMr。Gradgrind。'Youknowwhatahorseis。'
Shecurtseyedagain,andwouldhaveblusheddeeper,ifshecouldhaveblusheddeeperthanshehadblushedallthistime。Bitzer,afterrapidlyblinkingatThomasGradgrindwithbotheyesatonce,andsocatchingthelightuponhisquiveringendsoflashesthattheylookedliketheantennaeofbusyinsects,puthisknucklestohisfreckledforehead,andsatdownagain。
Thethirdgentlemannowsteppedforth。Amightymanatcuttinganddrying,hewas;agovernmentofficer;inhiswayandinmostotherpeople'stoo,aprofessedpugilist;alwaysintraining,alwayswithasystemtoforcedownthegeneralthroatlikeabolus,alwaystobeheardofatthebarofhislittlePublic-office,readytofightallEngland。Tocontinueinfisticphraseology,hehadageniusforcominguptothescratch,whereverandwhateveritwas,andprovinghimselfanuglycustomer。Hewouldgoinanddamageanysubjectwhateverwithhisright,followupwithhisleft,stop,exchange,counter,borehisopponenthealwaysfoughtAllEngland
totheropes,andfalluponhimneatly。Hewascertaintoknockthewindoutofcommonsense,andrenderthatunluckyadversarydeaftothecalloftime。Andhehaditinchargefromhighauthoritytobringaboutthegreatpublic-officeMillennium,whenCommissionersshouldreignuponearth。
'Verywell,'saidthisgentleman,brisklysmiling,andfoldinghisarms。'That'sahorse。Now,letmeaskyougirlsandboys,Wouldyoupaperaroomwithrepresentationsofhorses?'
Afterapause,onehalfofthechildrencriedinchorus,'Yes,sir!'Uponwhichtheotherhalf,seeinginthegentleman'sfacethatYeswaswrong,criedoutinchorus,'No,sir!'-asthecustomis,intheseexaminations。
'Ofcourse,No。Whywouldn'tyou?'
Apause。Onecorpulentslowboy,withawheezymannerofbreathing,venturedtheanswer,Becausehewouldn'tpaperaroomatall,butwouldpaintit。
'Youmustpaperit,'saidthegentleman,ratherwarmly。
'Youmustpaperit,'saidThomasGradgrind,'whetheryoulikeitornot。Don'ttellusyouwouldn'tpaperit。Whatdoyoumean,boy?'
'I'llexplaintoyou,then,'saidthegentleman,afteranotherandadismalpause,'whyyouwouldn'tpaperaroomwithrepresentationsofhorses。Doyoueverseehorseswalkingupanddownthesidesofroomsinreality-infact?Doyou?'
'Yes,sir!'fromonehalf。'No,sir!'fromtheother。
'Ofcourseno,'saidthegentleman,withanindignantlookatthewronghalf。'Why,then,youarenottoseeanywhere,whatyoudon'tseeinfact;youarenottohaveanywhere,whatyoudon'thaveinfact。WhatiscalledTaste,isonlyanothernameforFact。'ThomasGradgrindnoddedhisapprobation。
'Thisisanewprinciple,adiscovery,agreatdiscovery,'saidthegentleman。'Now,I'lltryyouagain。Supposeyouweregoingtocarpetaroom。Wouldyouuseacarpethavingarepresentationofflowersuponit?'
Therebeingageneralconvictionbythistimethat'No,sir!'wasalwaystherightanswertothisgentleman,thechorusofNOwasverystrong。OnlyafewfeeblestragglerssaidYes:amongthemSissyJupe。
'Girlnumbertwenty,'saidthegentleman,smilinginthecalmstrengthofknowledge。
Sissyblushed,andstoodup。
'Soyouwouldcarpetyourroom-oryourhusband'sroom,ifyouwereagrownwoman,andhadahusband-withrepresentationsofflowers,wouldyou?'saidthegentleman。'Whywouldyou?'
'Ifyouplease,sir,Iamveryfondofflowers,'returnedthegirl。
'Andisthatwhyyouwouldputtablesandchairsuponthem,andhavepeoplewalkingoverthemwithheavyboots?'
'Itwouldn'thurtthem,sir。Theywouldn'tcrushandwither,ifyouplease,sir。Theywouldbethepicturesofwhatwasveryprettyandpleasant,andIwouldfancy-'
'Ay,ay,ay!Butyoumustn'tfancy,'criedthegentleman,quiteelatedbycomingsohappilytohispoint。'That'sit!Youarenevertofancy。'
'Youarenot,CeciliaJupe,'ThomasGradgrindsolemnlyrepeated,'todoanythingofthatkind。'
'Fact,fact,fact!'saidthegentleman。And'Fact,fact,fact!'
repeatedThomasGradgrind。
'Youaretobeinallthingsregulatedandgoverned,'saidthegentleman,'byfact。Wehopetohave,beforelong,aboardoffact,composedofcommissionersoffact,whowillforcethepeopletobeapeopleoffact,andofnothingbutfact。YoumustdiscardthewordFancyaltogether。Youhavenothingtodowithit。Youarenottohave,inanyobjectofuseorornament,whatwouldbeacontradictioninfact。Youdon'twalkuponflowersinfact;youcannotbeallowedtowalkuponflowersincarpets。Youdon'tfindthatforeignbirdsandbutterfliescomeandperchuponyourcrockery;youcannotbepermittedtopaintforeignbirdsandbutterfliesuponyourcrockery。Younevermeetwithquadrupedsgoingupanddownwalls;youmustnothavequadrupedsrepresenteduponwalls。Youmustuse,'saidthegentleman,'forallthesepurposes,combinationsandmodificationsinprimarycoloursofmathematicalfigureswhicharesusceptibleofproofanddemonstration。Thisisthenewdiscovery。Thisisfact。Thisistaste。'
Thegirlcurtseyed,andsatdown。Shewasveryyoung,andshelookedasifshewerefrightenedbythematter-of-factprospecttheworldafforded。
'Now,ifMr。M'Choakumchild,'saidthegentleman,'willproceedtogivehisfirstlessonhere,Mr。Gradgrind,Ishallbehappy,atyourrequest,toobservehismodeofprocedure。'
Mr。Gradgrindwasmuchobliged。'Mr。M'Choakumchild,weonlywaitforyou。'
So,Mr。M'Choakumchildbeganinhisbestmanner。Heandsomeonehundredandfortyotherschoolmasters,hadbeenlatelyturnedatthesametime,inthesamefactory,onthesameprinciples,likesomanypianofortelegs。Hehadbeenputthroughanimmensevarietyofpaces,andhadansweredvolumesofhead-breakingquestions。
Orthography,etymology,syntax,andprosody,biography,astronomy,geography,andgeneralcosmography,thesciencesofcompoundproportion,algebra,land-surveyingandlevelling,vocalmusic,anddrawingfrommodels,wereallattheendsofhistenchilledfingers。HehadworkedhisstonywayintoHerMajesty'smostHonourablePrivyCouncil'sScheduleB,andhadtakenthebloomoffthehigherbranchesofmathematicsandphysicalscience,French,German,Latin,andGreek。HeknewallaboutalltheWaterShedsofalltheworldwhatevertheyare,andallthehistoriesofallthepeoples,andallthenamesofalltheriversandmountains,andalltheproductions,manners,andcustomsofallthecountries,andalltheirboundariesandbearingsonthetwoandthirtypointsofthecompass。Ah,ratheroverdone,M'Choakumchild。Ifhehadonlylearntalittleless,howinfinitelybetterhemighthavetaughtmuchmore!
Hewenttoworkinthispreparatorylesson,notunlikeMorgianaintheFortyThieves:lookingintoallthevesselsrangedbeforehim,oneafteranother,toseewhattheycontained。Say,goodM'Choakumchild。Whenfromthyboilingstore,thoushaltfilleachjarbrimfullby-and-by,dostthouthinkthatthouwiltalwayskilloutrighttherobberFancylurkingwithin-orsometimesonlymaimhimanddistorthim!
CHAPTERIII-ALOOPHOLE
MR。GRADGRINDwalkedhomewardfromtheschool,inastateofconsiderablesatisfaction。Itwashisschool,andheintendedittobeamodel。Heintendedeverychildinittobeamodel-justastheyoungGradgrindswereallmodels。
TherewerefiveyoungGradgrinds,andtheyweremodelseveryone。
Theyhadbeenlecturedat,fromtheirtenderestyears;coursed,likelittlehares。Almostassoonastheycouldrunalone,theyhadbeenmadetoruntothelecture-room。Thefirstobjectwithwhichtheyhadanassociation,orofwhichtheyhadaremembrance,wasalargeblackboardwithadryOgrechalkingghastlywhitefiguresonit。
Notthattheyknew,bynameornature,anythingaboutanOgreFactforbid!Ionlyusethewordtoexpressamonsterinalecturingcastle,withHeavenknowshowmanyheadsmanipulatedintoone,takingchildhoodcaptive,anddraggingitintogloomystatisticaldensbythehair。
NolittleGradgrindhadeverseenafaceinthemoon;itwasupinthemoonbeforeitcouldspeakdistinctly。NolittleGradgrindhadeverlearntthesillyjingle,Twinkle,twinkle,littlestar;howI
wonderwhatyouare!NolittleGradgrindhadeverknownwonderonthesubject,eachlittleGradgrindhavingatfiveyearsolddissectedtheGreatBearlikeaProfessorOwen,anddrivenCharles'sWainlikealocomotiveengine-driver。NolittleGradgrindhadeverassociatedacowinafieldwiththatfamouscowwiththecrumpledhornwhotossedthedogwhoworriedthecatwhokilledtheratwhoatethemalt,orwiththatyetmorefamouscowwhoswallowedTomThumb:ithadneverheardofthosecelebrities,andhadonlybeenintroducedtoacowasagraminivorousruminatingquadrupedwithseveralstomachs。
Tohismatter-of-facthome,whichwascalledStoneLodge,Mr。
Gradgrinddirectedhissteps。HehadvirtuallyretiredfromthewholesalehardwaretradebeforehebuiltStoneLodge,andwasnowlookingaboutforasuitableopportunityofmakinganarithmeticalfigureinParliament。StoneLodgewassituatedonamoorwithinamileortwoofagreattown-calledCoketowninthepresentfaithfulguide-book。
Averyregularfeatureonthefaceofthecountry,StoneLodgewas。
Nottheleastdisguisetoneddownorshadedoffthatuncompromisingfactinthelandscape。Agreatsquarehouse,withaheavyporticodarkeningtheprincipalwindows,asitsmaster'sheavybrowsovershadowedhiseyes。Acalculated,castup,balanced,andprovedhouse。Sixwindowsonthissideofthedoor,sixonthatside;atotaloftwelveinthiswing,atotaloftwelveintheotherwing;
four-and-twentycarriedovertothebackwings。Alawnandgardenandaninfantavenue,allruledstraightlikeabotanicalaccount-
book。Gasandventilation,drainageandwater-service,alloftheprimestquality。Ironclampsandgirders,fire-prooffromtoptobottom;mechanicalliftsforthehousemaids,withalltheirbrushesandbrooms;everythingthatheartcoulddesire。
Everything?Well,Isupposeso。ThelittleGradgrindshadcabinetsinvariousdepartmentsofsciencetoo。Theyhadalittleconchologicalcabinet,andalittlemetallurgicalcabinet,andalittlemineralogicalcabinet;andthespecimenswereallarrangedandlabelled,andthebitsofstoneandorelookedasthoughtheymighthavebeenbrokenfromtheparentsubstancesbythosetremendouslyhardinstrumentstheirownnames;and,toparaphrasetheidlelegendofPeterPiper,whohadneverfoundhiswayintotheirnursery,IfthegreedylittleGradgrindsgraspedatmorethanthis,whatwasitforgoodgraciousgoodness'sake,thatthegreedylittleGradgrindsgraspedit!
Theirfatherwalkedoninahopefulandsatisfiedframeofmind。
Hewasanaffectionatefather,afterhismanner;buthewouldprobablyhavedescribedhimselfifhehadbeenput,likeSissyJupe,uponadefinitionas'aneminentlypractical'father。Hehadaparticularprideinthephraseeminentlypractical,whichwasconsideredtohaveaspecialapplicationtohim。WhatsoeverthepublicmeetingheldinCoketown,andwhatsoeverthesubjectofsuchmeeting,someCoketownerwassuretoseizetheoccasionofalludingtohiseminentlypracticalfriendGradgrind。Thisalwayspleasedtheeminentlypracticalfriend。Heknewittobehisdue,buthisduewasacceptable。
Hehadreachedtheneutralgroundupontheoutskirtsofthetown,whichwasneithertownnorcountry,andyetwaseitherspoiled,whenhisearswereinvadedbythesoundofmusic。Theclashingandbangingbandattachedtothehorse-ridingestablishment,whichhadtheresetupitsrestinawoodenpavilion,wasinfullbray。A
flag,floatingfromthesummitofthetemple,proclaimedtomankindthatitwas'Sleary'sHorse-riding'whichclaimedtheirsuffrages。
Slearyhimself,astoutmodernstatuewithamoney-boxatitselbow,inanecclesiasticalnicheofearlyGothicarchitecture,tookthemoney。MissJosephineSleary,assomeverylongandverynarrowstripsofprintedbillannounced,wastheninauguratingtheentertainmentswithhergracefulequestrianTyroleanflower-act。
Amongtheotherpleasingbutalwaysstrictlymoralwonderswhichmustbeseentobebelieved,SignorJupewasthatafternoonto'elucidatethedivertingaccomplishmentsofhishighlytrainedperformingdogMerrylegs。'Hewasalsotoexhibit'hisastoundingfeatofthrowingseventy-fivehundred-weightinrapidsuccessionbackhandedoverhishead,thusformingafountainofsolidironinmid-air,afeatneverbeforeattemptedinthisoranyothercountry,andwhichhavingelicitedsuchrapturousplauditsfromenthusiasticthrongsitcannotbewithdrawn。'ThesameSignorJupewasto'enliventhevariedperformancesatfrequentintervalswithhischasteShakspereanquipsandretorts。'Lastly,hewastowindthemupbyappearinginhisfavouritecharacterofMr。WilliamButton,ofTooleyStreet,in'thehighlynovelandlaughablehippo-
comediettaofTheTailor'sJourneytoBrentford。'
ThomasGradgrindtooknoheedofthesetrivialitiesofcourse,butpassedonasapracticalmanoughttopasson,eitherbrushingthenoisyinsectsfromhisthoughts,orconsigningthemtotheHouseofCorrection。But,theturningoftheroadtookhimbythebackofthebooth,andatthebackoftheboothanumberofchildrenwerecongregatedinanumberofstealthyattitudes,strivingtopeepinatthehiddengloriesoftheplace。
Thisbroughthimtoastop。'Now,tothinkofthesevagabonds,'
saidhe,'attractingtheyoungrabblefromamodelschool。'
Aspaceofstuntedgrassanddryrubbishbeingbetweenhimandtheyoungrabble,hetookhiseyeglassoutofhiswaistcoattolookforanychildheknewbyname,andmightorderoff。Phenomenonalmostincrediblethoughdistinctlyseen,whatdidhethenbeholdbuthisownmetallurgicalLouisa,peepingwithallhermightthroughaholeinadealboard,andhisownmathematicalThomasabasinghimselfonthegroundtocatchbutahoofofthegracefulequestrianTyroleanflower-act!
Dumbwithamazement,Mr。Gradgrindcrossedtothespotwherehisfamilywasthusdisgraced,laidhishanduponeacherringchild,andsaid:
'Louisa!!Thomas!!'
Bothrose,redanddisconcerted。But,LouisalookedatherfatherwithmoreboldnessthanThomasdid。Indeed,Thomasdidnotlookathim,butgavehimselfuptobetakenhomelikeamachine。
'Inthenameofwonder,idleness,andfolly!'saidMr。Gradgrind,leadingeachawaybyahand;'whatdoyoudohere?'
'Wantedtoseewhatitwaslike,'returnedLouisa,shortly。
'Whatitwaslike?'
'Yes,father。'
Therewasanairofjadedsullennessinthemboth,andparticularlyinthegirl:yet,strugglingthroughthedissatisfactionofherface,therewasalightwithnothingtorestupon,afirewithnothingtoburn,astarvedimaginationkeepinglifeinitselfsomehow,whichbrighteneditsexpression。Notwiththebrightnessnaturaltocheerfulyouth,butwithuncertain,eager,doubtfulflashes,whichhadsomethingpainfulinthem,analogoustothechangesonablindfacegropingitsway。
Shewasachildnow,offifteenorsixteen;butatnodistantdaywouldseemtobecomeawomanallatonce。Herfatherthoughtsoashelookedather。Shewaspretty。Wouldhavebeenself-willedhethoughtinhiseminentlypracticalwaybutforherbringing-up。
'Thomas,thoughIhavethefactbeforeme,Ifinditdifficulttobelievethatyou,withyoureducationandresources,shouldhavebroughtyoursistertoascenelikethis。'
'Ibroughthim,father,'saidLouisa,quickly。'Iaskedhimtocome。'
'Iamsorrytohearit。Iamverysorryindeedtohearit。ItmakesThomasnobetter,anditmakesyouworse,Louisa。'
Shelookedatherfatheragain,butnotearfelldownhercheek。
'You!Thomasandyou,towhomthecircleofthesciencesisopen;
Thomasandyou,whomaybesaidtoberepletewithfacts;Thomasandyou,whohavebeentrainedtomathematicalexactness;Thomasandyou,here!'criedMr。Gradgrind。'Inthisdegradedposition!
Iamamazed。'
'Iwastired,father。Ihavebeentiredalongtime,'saidLouisa。
'Tired?Ofwhat?'askedtheastonishedfather。
'Idon'tknowofwhat-ofeverything,Ithink。'
'Saynotanotherword,'returnedMr。Gradgrind。'Youarechildish。
Iwillhearnomore。'Hedidnotspeakagainuntiltheyhadwalkedsomehalf-a-mileinsilence,whenhegravelybrokeoutwith:'Whatwouldyourbestfriendssay,Louisa?Doyouattachnovaluetotheirgoodopinion?WhatwouldMr。Bounderbysay?'Atthementionofthisname,hisdaughterstolealookathim,remarkableforitsintenseandsearchingcharacter。Hesawnothingofit,forbeforehelookedather,shehadagaincastdownhereyes!
'What,'herepeatedpresently,'wouldMr。Bounderbysay?'AllthewaytoStoneLodge,aswithgraveindignationheledthetwodelinquentshome,herepeatedatintervals'WhatwouldMr。
Bounderbysay?'-asifMr。BounderbyhadbeenMrs。Grundy。
CHAPTERIV-MR。BOUNDERBY
NOTbeingMrs。Grundy,whowasMr。Bounderby?
Why,Mr。BounderbywasasnearbeingMr。Gradgrind'sbosomfriend,asamanperfectlydevoidofsentimentcanapproachthatspiritualrelationshiptowardsanothermanperfectlydevoidofsentiment。SonearwasMr。Bounderby-or,ifthereadershouldpreferit,sofaroff。
Hewasarichman:banker,merchant,manufacturer,andwhatnot。
Abig,loudman,withastare,andametalliclaugh。Amanmadeoutofacoarsematerial,whichseemedtohavebeenstretchedtomakesomuchofhim。Amanwithagreatpuffedheadandforehead,swelledveinsinhistemples,andsuchastrainedskintohisfacethatitseemedtoholdhiseyesopen,andlifthiseyebrowsup。A
manwithapervadingappearanceonhimofbeinginflatedlikeaballoon,andreadytostart。Amanwhocouldneversufficientlyvaunthimselfaself-mademan。Amanwhowasalwaysproclaiming,throughthatbrassyspeaking-trumpetofavoiceofhis,hisoldignoranceandhisoldpoverty。AmanwhowastheBullyofhumility。
Ayearortwoyoungerthanhiseminentlypracticalfriend,Mr。
Bounderbylookedolder;hissevenoreightandfortymighthavehadthesevenoreightaddedtoitagain,withoutsurprisinganybody。
Hehadnotmuchhair。Onemighthavefanciedhehadtalkeditoff;
andthatwhatwasleft,allstandingupindisorder,wasinthatconditionfrombeingconstantlyblownaboutbyhiswindyboastfulness。
Intheformaldrawing-roomofStoneLodge,standingonthehearthrug,warminghimselfbeforethefire,Mr。BounderbydeliveredsomeobservationstoMrs。Gradgrindonthecircumstanceofitsbeinghisbirthday。Hestoodbeforethefire,partlybecauseitwasacoolspringafternoon,thoughthesunshone;partlybecausetheshadeofStoneLodgewasalwayshauntedbytheghostofdampmortar;partlybecausehethustookupacommandingposition,fromwhichtosubdueMrs。Gradgrind。
'Ihadn'tashoetomyfoot。Astoastocking,Ididn'tknowsuchathingbyname。Ipassedthedayinaditch,andthenightinapigsty。That'sthewayIspentmytenthbirthday。Notthataditchwasnewtome,forIwasborninaditch。'
Mrs。Gradgrind,alittle,thin,white,pink-eyedbundleofshawls,ofsurpassingfeebleness,mentalandbodily;whowasalwaystakingphysicwithoutanyeffect,andwho,wheneversheshowedasymptomofcomingtolife,wasinvariablystunnedbysomeweightypieceoffacttumblingonher;Mrs。Gradgrindhopeditwasadryditch?
'No!Aswetasasop。Afootofwaterinit,'saidMr。Bounderby。
'Enoughtogiveababycold,'Mrs。Gradgrindconsidered。
'Cold?Iwasbornwithinflammationofthelungs,andofeverythingelse,Ibelieve,thatwascapableofinflammation,'
returnedMr。Bounderby。'Foryears,ma'am,Iwasoneofthemostmiserablelittlewretcheseverseen。Iwassosickly,thatIwasalwaysmoaningandgroaning。Iwassoraggedanddirty,thatyouwouldn'thavetouchedmewithapairoftongs。'
Mrs。Gradgrindfaintlylookedatthetongs,asthemostappropriatethingherimbecilitycouldthinkofdoing。
'HowIfoughtthroughit,Idon'tknow,'saidBounderby。'Iwasdetermined,Isuppose。Ihavebeenadeterminedcharacterinlaterlife,andIsupposeIwasthen。HereIam,Mrs。Gradgrind,anyhow,andnobodytothankformybeinghere,butmyself。'
Mrs。Gradgrindmeeklyandweaklyhopedthathismother-
'Mymother?Bolted,ma'am!'saidBounderby。
Mrs。Gradgrind,stunnedasusual,collapsedandgaveitup。
'Mymotherleftmetomygrandmother,'saidBounderby;'and,accordingtothebestofmyremembrance,mygrandmotherwasthewickedestandtheworstoldwomanthateverlived。IfIgotalittlepairofshoesbyanychance,shewouldtake'emoffandsell'emfordrink。Why,Ihaveknownthatgrandmotherofminelieinherbedanddrinkherfour-teenglassesofliquorbeforebreakfast!'
Mrs。Gradgrind,weaklysmiling,andgivingnoothersignofvitality,lookedasshealwaysdidlikeanindifferentlyexecutedtransparencyofasmallfemalefigure,withoutenoughlightbehindit。
'Shekeptachandler'sshop,'pursuedBounderby,'andkeptmeinanegg-box。Thatwasthecotofmyinfancy;anoldegg-box。AssoonasIwasbigenoughtorunaway,ofcourseIranaway。ThenI
becameayoungvagabond;andinsteadofoneoldwomanknockingmeaboutandstarvingme,everybodyofallagesknockedmeaboutandstarvedme。Theywereright;theyhadnobusinesstodoanythingelse。Iwasanuisance,anincumbrance,andapest。Iknowthatverywell。'
Hisprideinhavingatanytimeofhislifeachievedsuchagreatsocialdistinctionastobeanuisance,anincumbrance,andapest,wasonlytobesatisfiedbythreesonorousrepetitionsoftheboast。
'Iwastopullthroughit,Isuppose,Mrs。Gradgrind。WhetherI
wastodoitornot,ma'am,Ididit。Ipulledthroughit,thoughnobodythrewmeoutarope。Vagabond,errand-boy,vagabond,labourer,porter,clerk,chiefmanager,smallpartner,JosiahBounderbyofCoketown。Thosearetheantecedents,andtheculmination。JosiahBounderbyofCoketownlearnthislettersfromtheoutsidesoftheshops,Mrs。Gradgrind,andwasfirstabletotellthetimeuponadial-plate,fromstudyingthesteepleclockofSt。Giles'sChurch,London,underthedirectionofadrunkencripple,whowasaconvictedthief,andanincorrigiblevagrant。
TellJosiahBounderbyofCoketown,ofyourdistrictschoolsandyourmodelschools,andyourtrainingschools,andyourwholekettle-of-fishofschools;andJosiahBounderbyofCoketown,tellsyouplainly,allright,allcorrect-hehadn'tsuchadvantages-
butletushavehard-headed,solid-fistedpeople-theeducationthatmadehimwon'tdoforeverybody,heknowswell-suchandsuchhiseducationwas,however,andyoumayforcehimtoswallowboilingfat,butyoushallneverforcehimtosuppressthefactsofhislife。'
Beingheatedwhenhearrivedatthisclimax,JosiahBounderbyofCoketownstopped。Hestoppedjustashiseminentlypracticalfriend,stillaccompaniedbythetwoyoungculprits,enteredtheroom。Hiseminentlypracticalfriend,onseeinghim,stoppedalso,andgaveLouisaareproachfullookthatplainlysaid,'BeholdyourBounderby!'
'Well!'blusteredMr。Bounderby,'what'sthematter?WhatisyoungThomasinthedumpsabout?'
HespokeofyoungThomas,buthelookedatLouisa。
'Wewerepeepingatthecircus,'mutteredLouisa,haughtily,withoutliftinguphereyes,'andfathercaughtus。'
'And,Mrs。Gradgrind,'saidherhusbandinaloftymanner,'I
shouldassoonhaveexpectedtofindmychildrenreadingpoetry。'
'Dearme,'whimperedMrs。Gradgrind。'Howcanyou,LouisaandThomas!Iwonderatyou。Ideclareyou'reenoughtomakeoneregreteverhavinghadafamilyatall。IhaveagreatmindtosayIwishIhadn't。Thenwhatwouldyouhavedone,Ishouldliketoknow?'
Mr。Gradgrinddidnotseemfavourablyimpressedbythesecogentremarks。Hefrownedimpatiently。
'Asif,withmyheadinitspresentthrobbingstate,youcouldn'tgoandlookattheshellsandmineralsandthingsprovidedforyou,insteadofcircuses!'saidMrs。Gradgrind。'Youknow,aswellasI
do,noyoungpeoplehavecircusmasters,orkeepcircusesincabinets,orattendlecturesaboutcircuses。Whatcanyoupossiblywanttoknowofcircusesthen?Iamsureyouhaveenoughtodo,ifthat'swhatyouwant。Withmyheadinitspresentstate,I
couldn'trememberthemerenamesofhalfthefactsyouhavegottoattendto。'
'That'sthereason!'poutedLouisa。
'Don'ttellmethat'sthereason,becauseitcan'tbenothingofthesort,'saidMrs。Gradgrind。'Goandbesomethingologicaldirectly。'Mrs。Gradgrindwasnotascientificcharacter,andusuallydismissedherchildrentotheirstudieswiththisgeneralinjunctiontochoosetheirpursuit。
Intruth,Mrs。Gradgrind'sstockoffactsingeneralwaswoefullydefective;butMr。Gradgrindinraisinghertoherhighmatrimonialposition,hadbeeninfluencedbytworeasons。Firstly,shewasmostsatisfactoryasaquestionoffigures;and,secondly,shehad'nononsense'abouther。Bynonsensehemeantfancy;andtrulyitisprobableshewasasfreefromanyalloyofthatnature,asanyhumanbeingnotarrivedattheperfectionofanabsoluteidiot,everwas。
ThesimplecircumstanceofbeingleftalonewithherhusbandandMr。Bounderby,wassufficienttostunthisadmirableladyagainwithoutcollisionbetweenherselfandanyotherfact。So,sheoncemorediedaway,andnobodymindedher。
'Bounderby,'saidMr。Gradgrind,drawingachairtothefireside,'youarealwayssointerestedinmyyoungpeople-particularlyinLouisa-thatImakenoapologyforsayingtoyou,Iamverymuchvexedbythisdiscovery。Ihavesystematicallydevotedmyselfasyouknowtotheeducationofthereasonofmyfamily。Thereasonisasyouknowtheonlyfacultytowhicheducationshouldbeaddressed。'Andyet,Bounderby,itwouldappearfromthisunexpectedcircumstanceofto-day,thoughinitselfatriflingone,asifsomethinghadcreptintoThomas'sandLouisa'smindswhichis-orrather,whichisnot-Idon'tknowthatIcanexpressmyselfbetterthanbysaying-whichhasneverbeenintendedtobedeveloped,andinwhichtheirreasonhasnopart。'
'Therecertainlyisnoreasoninlookingwithinterestataparcelofvagabonds,'returnedBounderby。'WhenIwasavagabondmyself,nobodylookedwithanyinterestatme;Iknowthat。'
'Thencomesthequestion;saidtheeminentlypracticalfather,withhiseyesonthefire,'inwhathasthisvulgarcuriosityitsrise?'
'I'lltellyouinwhat。Inidleimagination。'
'Ihopenot,'saidtheeminentlypractical;'Iconfess,however,thatthemisgivinghascrossedmeonmywayhome。'
'Inidleimagination,Gradgrind,'repeatedBounderby。'Averybadthingforanybody,butacursedbadthingforagirllikeLouisa。
IshouldaskMrs。Gradgrind'spardonforstrongexpressions,butthatsheknowsverywellIamnotarefinedcharacter。Whoeverexpectsrefinementinmewillbedisappointed。Ihadn'tarefinedbringingup。'
'Whether,'saidGradgrind,ponderingwithhishandsinhispockets,andhiscavernouseyesonthefire,'whetheranyinstructororservantcanhavesuggestedanything?WhetherLouisaorThomascanhavebeenreadinganything?Whether,inspiteofallprecautions,anyidlestory-bookcanhavegotintothehouse?Because,inmindsthathavebeenpracticallyformedbyruleandline,fromthecradleupwards,thisissocurious,soincomprehensible。'
'Stopabit!'criedBounderby,whoallthistimehadbeenstanding,asbefore,onthehearth,burstingattheveryfurnitureoftheroomwithexplosivehumility。'Youhaveoneofthosestrollers'
childrenintheschool。'
'CeciliaJupe,byname,'saidMr。Gradgrind,withsomethingofastrickenlookathisfriend。
'Now,stopabit!'criedBounderbyagain。'Howdidshecomethere?'
'Why,thefactis,Isawthegirlmyself,forthefirsttime,onlyjustnow。Shespeciallyappliedhereatthehousetobeadmitted,asnotregularlybelongingtoourtown,and-yes,youareright,Bounderby,youareright。'
'Now,stopabit!'criedBounderby,oncemore。'Louisasawherwhenshecame?'
'Louisacertainlydidseeher,forshementionedtheapplicationtome。ButLouisasawher,Ihavenodoubt,inMrs。Gradgrind'spresence。'
'Pray,Mrs。Gradgrind,'saidBounderby,'whatpassed?'
'Oh,mypoorhealth!'returnedMrs。Gradgrind。'Thegirlwantedtocometotheschool,andMr。Gradgrindwantedgirlstocometotheschool,andLouisaandThomasbothsaidthatthegirlwantedtocome,andthatMr。Gradgrindwantedgirlstocome,andhowwasitpossibletocontradictthemwhensuchwasthefact!'
'NowItellyouwhat,Gradgrind!'saidMr。Bounderby。'Turnthisgirltotherightabout,andthere'sanendofit。'
'Iammuchofyouropinion。'
'Doitatonce,'saidBounderby,'hasalwaysbeenmymottofromachild。WhenIthoughtIwouldrunawayfrommyegg-boxandmygrandmother,Ididitatonce。Doyouthesame。Dothisatonce!'
'Areyouwalking?'askedhisfriend。'Ihavethefather'saddress。
Perhapsyouwouldnotmindwalkingtotownwithme?'
'Nottheleastintheworld,'saidMr。Bounderby,'aslongasyoudoitatonce!'
So,Mr。Bounderbythrewonhishat-healwaysthrewiton,asexpressingamanwhohadbeenfartoobusilyemployedinmakinghimself,toacquireanyfashionofwearinghishat-andwithhishandsinhispockets,saunteredoutintothehall。'Ineverweargloves,'itwashiscustomtosay。'Ididn'tclimbuptheladderinthem-Shouldn'tbesohighup,ifIhad。'
BeinglefttosaunterinthehallaminuteortwowhileMr。
Gradgrindwentup-stairsfortheaddress,heopenedthedoorofthechildren'sstudyandlookedintothatserenefloor-clothedapartment,which,notwithstandingitsbook-casesanditscabinetsanditsvarietyoflearnedandphilosophicalappliances,hadmuchofthegenialaspectofaroomdevotedtohair-cutting。Louisalanguidlyleaneduponthewindowlookingout,withoutlookingatanything,whileyoungThomasstoodsniffingrevengefullyatthefire。AdamSmithandMalthus,twoyoungerGradgrinds,wereoutatlectureincustody;andlittleJane,aftermanufacturingagooddealofmoistpipe-clayonherfacewithslate-pencilandtears,hadfallenasleepovervulgarfractions。
'It'sallrightnow,Louisa:it'sallright,youngThomas,'saidMr。Bounderby;'youwon'tdosoanymore。I'llanswerforit'sbeingalloverwithfather。Well,Louisa,that'sworthakiss,isn'tit?'
'Youcantakeone,Mr。Bounderby,'returnedLouisa,whenshehadcoldlypaused,andslowlywalkedacrosstheroom,andungraciouslyraisedhercheektowardshim,withherfaceturnedaway。
'Alwaysmypet;ain'tyou,Louisa?'saidMr。Bounderby。'Good-bye,Louisa!'
Hewenthisway,butshestoodonthesamespot,rubbingthecheekhehadkissed,withherhandkerchief,untilitwasburningred。
Shewasstilldoingthis,fiveminutesafterwards。
'Whatareyouabout,Loo?'herbrothersulkilyremonstrated。
'You'llrubaholeinyourface。'
'Youmaycutthepieceoutwithyourpenknifeifyoulike,Tom。I
wouldn'tcry!'
CHAPTERV-THEKEYNOTE
COKETOWN,towhichMessrs。BounderbyandGradgrindnowwalked,wasatriumphoffact;ithadnogreatertaintoffancyinitthanMrs。
Gradgrindherself。Letusstrikethekey-note,Coketown,beforepursuingourtune。
Itwasatownofredbrick,orofbrickthatwouldhavebeenredifthesmokeandasheshadallowedit;butasmattersstood,itwasatownofunnaturalredandblacklikethepaintedfaceofasavage。
Itwasatownofmachineryandtallchimneys,outofwhichinterminableserpentsofsmoketrailedthemselvesforeverandever,andnevergotuncoiled。Ithadablackcanalinit,andariverthatranpurplewithill-smellingdye,andvastpilesofbuildingfullofwindowswheretherewasarattlingandatremblingalldaylong,andwherethepistonofthesteam-engineworkedmonotonouslyupanddown,liketheheadofanelephantinastateofmelancholymadness。Itcontainedseverallargestreetsallverylikeoneanother,andmanysmallstreetsstillmorelikeoneanother,inhabitedbypeopleequallylikeoneanother,whoallwentinandoutatthesamehours,withthesamesounduponthesamepavements,todothesamework,andtowhomeverydaywasthesameasyesterdayandto-morrow,andeveryyearthecounterpartofthelastandthenext。
TheseattributesofCoketownwereinthemaininseparablefromtheworkbywhichitwassustained;againstthemweretobesetoff,comfortsoflifewhichfoundtheirwayallovertheworld,andeleganciesoflifewhichmade,wewillnotaskhowmuchofthefinelady,whocouldscarcelybeartoheartheplacementioned。Therestofitsfeatureswerevoluntary,andtheywerethese。
YousawnothinginCoketownbutwhatwasseverelyworkful。Ifthemembersofareligiouspersuasionbuiltachapelthere-asthemembersofeighteenreligiouspersuasionshaddone-theymadeitapiouswarehouseofredbrick,withsometimesbutthisisonlyinhighlyornamentalexamplesabellinabirdcageonthetopofit。
ThesolitaryexceptionwastheNewChurch;astuccoededificewithasquaresteepleoverthedoor,terminatinginfourshortpinnacleslikefloridwoodenlegs。Allthepublicinscriptionsinthetownwerepaintedalike,inseverecharactersofblackandwhite。Thejailmighthavebeentheinfirmary,theinfirmarymighthavebeenthejail,thetown-hallmighthavebeeneither,orboth,oranythingelse,foranythingthatappearedtothecontraryinthegracesoftheirconstruction。Fact,fact,fact,everywhereinthematerialaspectofthetown;fact,fact,fact,everywhereintheimmaterial。TheM'Choakumchildschoolwasallfact,andtheschoolofdesignwasallfact,andtherelationsbetweenmasterandmanwereallfact,andeverythingwasfactbetweenthelying-inhospitalandthecemetery,andwhatyoucouldn'tstateinfigures,orshowtobepurchaseableinthecheapestmarketandsaleableinthedearest,wasnot,andnevershouldbe,worldwithoutend,Amen。
Atownsosacredtofact,andsotriumphantinitsassertion,ofcoursegotonwell?Whyno,notquitewell。No?Dearme!
No。Coketowndidnotcomeoutofitsownfurnaces,inallrespectslikegoldthathadstoodthefire。First,theperplexingmysteryoftheplacewas,Whobelongedtotheeighteendenominations?
Because,whoeverdid,thelabouringpeopledidnot。ItwasverystrangetowalkthroughthestreetsonaSundaymorning,andnotehowfewofthemthebarbarousjanglingofbellsthatwasdrivingthesickandnervousmad,calledawayfromtheirownquarter,fromtheirowncloserooms,fromthecornersoftheirownstreets,wheretheyloungedlistlessly,gazingatallthechurchandchapelgoing,asatathingwithwhichtheyhadnomannerofconcern。Norwasitmerelythestrangerwhonoticedthis,becausetherewasanativeorganizationinCoketownitself,whosemembersweretobeheardofintheHouseofCommonseverysession,indignantlypetitioningforactsofparliamentthatshouldmakethesepeoplereligiousbymainforce。ThencametheTeetotalSociety,whocomplainedthatthesesamepeoplewouldgetdrunk,andshowedintabularstatementsthattheydidgetdrunk,andprovedatteapartiesthatnoinducement,humanorDivineexceptamedal,wouldinducethemtoforegotheircustomofgettingdrunk。Thencamethechemistanddruggist,withothertabularstatements,showingthatwhentheydidn'tgetdrunk,theytookopium。Thencametheexperiencedchaplainofthejail,withmoretabularstatements,outdoingalltheprevioustabularstatements,andshowingthatthesamepeoplewouldresorttolowhaunts,hiddenfromthepubliceye,wheretheyheardlowsingingandsawlowdancing,andmayhapjoinedinit;andwhereA。B。,agedtwenty-fournextbirthday,andcommittedforeighteenmonths'
solitary,hadhimselfsaidnotthathehadevershownhimselfparticularlyworthyofbeliefhisruinbegan,ashewasperfectlysureandconfidentthatotherwisehewouldhavebeenatip-topmoralspecimen。ThencameMr。GradgrindandMr。Bounderby,thetwogentlemenatthispresentmomentwalkingthroughCoketown,andbotheminentlypractical,whocould,onoccasion,furnishmoretabularstatementsderivedfromtheirownpersonalexperience,andillustratedbycasestheyhadknownandseen,fromwhichitclearlyappeared-inshort,itwastheonlyclearthinginthecase-thatthesesamepeoplewereabadlotaltogether,gentlemen;thatdowhatyouwouldforthemtheywereneverthankfulforit,gentlemen;
thattheywererestless,gentlemen;thattheyneverknewwhattheywanted;thattheyliveduponthebest,andboughtfreshbutter;andinsistedonMochacoffee,andrejectedallbutprimepartsofmeat,andyetwereeternallydissatisfiedandunmanageable。Inshort,itwasthemoraloftheoldnurseryfable:
Therewasanoldwoman,andwhatdoyouthink?
Sheliveduponnothingbutvictualsanddrink;
Victualsanddrinkwerethewholeofherdiet,AndyetthisoldwomanwouldNEVERbequiet。
Isitpossible,Iwonder,thattherewasanyanalogybetweenthecaseoftheCoketownpopulationandthecaseofthelittleGradgrinds?Surely,noneofusinoursobersensesandacquaintedwithfigures,aretobetoldatthistimeofday,thatoneoftheforemostelementsintheexistenceoftheCoketownworking-peoplehadbeenforscoresofyears,deliberatelysetatnought?ThattherewasanyFancyinthemdemandingtobebroughtintohealthyexistenceinsteadofstrugglingoninconvulsions?Thatexactlyintheratioastheyworkedlongandmonotonously,thecravinggrewwithinthemforsomephysicalrelief-somerelaxation,encouraginggoodhumourandgoodspirits,andgivingthemavent-somerecognizedholiday,thoughitwerebutforanhonestdancetoastirringbandofmusic-someoccasionallightpieinwhichevenM'Choakumchildhadnofinger-whichcravingmustandwouldbesatisfiedaright,ormustandwouldinevitablygowrong,untilthelawsoftheCreationwererepealed?
'ThismanlivesatPod'sEnd,andIdon'tquiteknowPod'sEnd,'
saidMr。Gradgrind。'Whichisit,Bounderby?'
Mr。Bounderbyknewitwassomewheredowntown,butknewnomorerespectingit。Sotheystoppedforamoment,lookingabout。
Almostastheydidso,therecamerunningroundthecornerofthestreetataquickpaceandwithafrightenedlook,agirlwhomMr。
Gradgrindrecognized。'Halloa!'saidhe。'Stop!Whereareyougoing!Stop!'Girlnumbertwentystoppedthen,palpitating,andmadehimacurtsey。
'Whyareyoutearingaboutthestreets,'saidMr。Gradgrind,'inthisimpropermanner?'
'Iwas-Iwasrunafter,sir,'thegirlpanted,'andIwantedtogetaway。'
'Runafter?'repeatedMr。Gradgrind。'Whowouldrunafteryou?'
Thequestionwasunexpectedlyandsuddenlyansweredforher,bythecolourlessboy,Bitzer,whocameroundthecornerwithsuchblindspeedandsolittleanticipatingastoppageonthepavement,thathebroughthimselfupagainstMr。Gradgrind'swaistcoatandreboundedintotheroad。
'Whatdoyoumean,boy?'saidMr。Gradgrind。'Whatareyoudoing?
Howdareyoudashagainst-everybody-inthismanner?'Bitzerpickeduphiscap,whichtheconcussionhadknockedoff;andbacking,andknucklinghisforehead,pleadedthatitwasanaccident。
'Wasthisboyrunningafteryou,Jupe?'askedMr。Gradgrind。
'Yes,sir,'saidthegirlreluctantly。
'No,Iwasn't,sir!'criedBitzer。'Nottillsherunawayfromme。
Butthehorse-ridersnevermindwhattheysay,sir;they'refamousforit。Youknowthehorse-ridersarefamousfornevermindingwhattheysay,'addressingSissy。'It'saswellknowninthetownas-please,sir,asthemultiplicationtableisn'tknowntothehorse-riders。'BitzertriedMr。Bounderbywiththis。
'Hefrightenedmeso,'saidthegirl,'withhiscruelfaces!'
'Oh!'criedBitzer。'Oh!An'tyouoneoftherest!An'tyouahorse-rider!Ineverlookedather,sir。Iaskedherifshewouldknowhowtodefineahorseto-morrow,andofferedtotellheragain,andsheranaway,andIranafterher,sir,thatshemightknowhowtoanswerwhenshewasasked。Youwouldn'thavethoughtofsayingsuchmischiefifyouhadn'tbeenahorse-rider?'
'Hercallingseemstobeprettywellknownamong'em,'observedMr。
Bounderby。'You'dhavehadthewholeschoolpeepinginarow,inaweek。'
'Truly,Ithinkso,'returnedhisfriend。'Bitzer,turnyouaboutandtakeyourselfhome。Jupe,stayhereamoment。Letmehearofyourrunninginthismanneranymore,boy,andyouwillhearofmethroughthemasteroftheschool。YouunderstandwhatImean。Goalong。'
Theboystoppedinhisrapidblinking,knuckledhisforeheadagain,glancedatSissy,turnedabout,andretreated。
'Now,girl,'saidMr。Gradgrind,'takethisgentlemanandmetoyourfather's;wearegoingthere。Whathaveyougotinthatbottleyouarecarrying?'
'Gin,'saidMr。Bounderby。
'Dear,no,sir!It'sthenineoils。'
'Thewhat?'criedMr。Bounderby。
'Thenineoils,sir,torubfatherwith。'
'Then,'saidMr。Bounderby,withaloudshortlaugh,'whatthedevildoyourubyourfatherwithnineoilsfor?'
'It'swhatourpeopleawaysuse,sir,whentheygetanyhurtsinthering,'repliedthegirl,lookingoverhershoulder,toassureherselfthatherpursuerwasgone。'Theybruisethemselvesverybadsometimes。'
'Serve'emright,'saidMr。Bounderby,'forbeingidle。'Sheglancedupathisface,withmingledastonishmentanddread。
'ByGeorge!'saidMr。Bounderby,'whenIwasfourorfiveyearsyoungerthanyou,Ihadworsebruisesuponmethantenoils,twentyoils,fortyoils,wouldhaverubbedoff。Ididn'tget'embyposture-making,butbybeingbangedabout。Therewasnorope-
dancingforme;Idancedonthebaregroundandwaslarrupedwiththerope。'
Mr。Gradgrind,thoughhardenough,wasbynomeanssoroughamanasMr。Bounderby。Hischaracterwasnotunkind,allthingsconsidered;itmighthavebeenaverykindoneindeed,ifhehadonlymadesomeroundmistakeinthearithmeticthatbalancedit,yearsago。Hesaid,inwhathemeantforareassuringtone,astheyturneddownanarrowroad,'AndthisisPod'sEnd;isit,Jupe?'
'Thisisit,sir,and-ifyouwouldn'tmind,sir-thisisthehouse。'
Shestopped,attwilight,atthedoorofameanlittlepublic-
house,withdimredlightsinit。Ashaggardandasshabby,asif,forwantofcustom,ithaditselftakentodrinking,andhadgonethewayalldrunkardsgo,andwasveryneartheendofit。
'It'sonlycrossingthebar,sir,andupthestairs,ifyouwouldn'tmind,andwaitingthereforamomenttillIgetacandle。
Ifyoushouldhearadog,sir,it'sonlyMerrylegs,andheonlybarks。'
'Merrylegsandnineoils,eh!'saidMr。Bounderby,enteringlastwithhismetalliclaugh。'Prettywellthis,foraself-mademan!'
CHAPTERVI-SLEARY'SHORSEMANSHIP
THEnameofthepublic-housewasthePegasus'sArms。ThePegasus'slegsmighthavebeenmoretothepurpose;but,underneaththewingedhorseuponthesign-board,thePegasus'sArmswasinscribedinRomanletters。Beneaththatinscriptionagain,inaflowingscroll,thepainterhadtouchedoffthelines:
Goodmaltmakesgoodbeer,Walkin,andthey'lldrawithere;
Goodwinemakesgoodbrandy,Giveusacall,andyou'llfindithandy。
Framedandglazeduponthewallbehindthedingylittlebar,wasanotherPegasus-atheatricalone-withrealgauzeletinforhiswings,goldenstarsstuckonalloverhim,andhisetherealharnessmadeofredsilk。
Asithadgrowntooduskywithout,toseethesign,andasithadnotgrownlightenoughwithintoseethepicture,Mr。GradgrindandMr。Bounderbyreceivednooffencefromtheseidealities。Theyfollowedthegirlupsomesteepcorner-stairswithoutmeetinganyone,andstoppedinthedarkwhileshewentonforacandle。TheyexpectedeverymomenttohearMerrylegsgivetongue,butthehighlytrainedperformingdoghadnotbarkedwhenthegirlandthecandleappearedtogether。
'Fatherisnotinourroom,sir,'shesaid,withafaceofgreatsurprise。'Ifyouwouldn'tmindwalkingin,I'llfindhimdirectly。'Theywalkedin;andSissy,havingsettwochairsforthem,spedawaywithaquicklightstep。Itwasamean,shabbilyfurnishedroom,withabedinit。Thewhitenight-cap,embellishedwithtwopeacock'sfeathersandapigtailboltupright,inwhichSignorJupehadthatveryafternoonenlivenedthevariedperformanceswithhischasteShakspereanquipsandretorts,hunguponanail;butnootherportionofhiswardrobe,orothertokenofhimselforhispursuits,wastobeseenanywhere。AstoMerrylegs,thatrespectableancestorofthehighlytrainedanimalwhowentaboardtheark,mighthavebeenaccidentallyshutoutofit,foranysignofadogthatwasmanifesttoeyeorearinthePegasus'sArms。
Theyheardthedoorsofroomsabove,openingandshuttingasSissywentfromonetoanotherinquestofherfather;andpresentlytheyheardvoicesexpressingsurprise。Shecameboundingdownagaininagreathurry,openedabatteredandmangyoldhairtrunk,founditempty,andlookedroundwithherhandsclaspedandherfacefullofterror。
'FathermusthavegonedowntotheBooth,sir。Idon'tknowwhyheshouldgothere,buthemustbethere;I'llbringhiminaminute!'
Shewasgonedirectly,withoutherbonnet;withherlong,dark,childishhairstreamingbehindher。
'Whatdoesshemean!'saidMr。Gradgrind。'Backinaminute?It'smorethanamileoff。'
BeforeMr。Bounderbycouldreply,ayoungmanappearedatthedoor,andintroducinghimselfwiththewords,'Byyourleaves,gentlemen!'walkedinwithhishandsinhispockets。Hisface,close-shaven,thin,andsallow,wasshadedbyagreatquantityofdarkhair,brushedintoarollallroundhishead,andpartedupthecentre。Hislegswereveryrobust,butshorterthanlegsofgoodproportionsshouldhavebeen。Hischestandbackwereasmuchtoobroad,ashislegsweretooshort。HewasdressedinaNewmarketcoatandtight-fittingtrousers;woreashawlroundhisneck;smeltoflamp-oil,straw,orange-peel,horses'provender,andsawdust;andlookedamostremarkablesortofCentaur,compoundedofthestableandtheplay-house。Wheretheonebegan,andtheotherended,nobodycouldhavetoldwithanyprecision。ThisgentlemanwasmentionedinthebillsofthedayasMr。E。W。B。
Childers,sojustlycelebratedforhisdaringvaultingactastheWildHuntsmanoftheNorthAmericanPrairies;inwhichpopularperformance,adiminutiveboywithanoldface,whonowaccompaniedhim,assistedashisinfantson:beingcarriedupsidedownoverhisfather'sshoulder,byonefoot,andheldbythecrownofhishead,heelsupwards,inthepalmofhisfather'shand,accordingtotheviolentpaternalmannerinwhichwildhuntsmenmaybeobservedtofondletheiroffspring。Madeupwithcurls,wreaths,wings,whitebismuth,andcarmine,thishopefulyoungpersonsoaredintosopleasingaCupidastoconstitutethechiefdelightofthematernalpartofthespectators;butinprivate,wherehischaracteristicswereaprecociouscutawaycoatandanextremelygruffvoice,hebecameoftheTurf,turfy。
'Byyourleaves,gentlemen,'saidMr。E。W。B。Childers,glancingroundtheroom。'Itwasyou,Ibelieve,thatwerewishingtoseeJupe!'
'Itwas,'saidMr。Gradgrind。'Hisdaughterhasgonetofetchhim,butIcan'twait;therefore,ifyouplease,Iwillleaveamessageforhimwithyou。'
'Yousee,myfriend,'Mr。Bounderbyputin,'wearethekindofpeoplewhoknowthevalueoftime,andyouarethekindofpeoplewhodon'tknowthevalueoftime。'
'Ihavenot,'retortedMr。Childers,aftersurveyinghimfromheadtofoot,'thehonourofknowingyou,-butifyoumeanthatyoucanmakemoremoneyofyourtimethanIcanofmine,Ishouldjudgefromyourappearance,thatyouareaboutright。'
'Andwhenyouhavemadeit,youcankeepittoo,Ishouldthink,'
saidCupid。
'Kidderminster,stowthat!'saidMr。Childers。MasterKidderminsterwasCupid'smortalname。
'Whatdoeshecomeherecheekingusfor,then?'criedMasterKidderminster,showingaveryirascibletemperament。'Ifyouwanttocheekus,payyourochreatthedoorsandtakeitout。'
'Kidderminster,'saidMr。Childers,raisinghisvoice,'stowthat!-
Sir,'toMr。Gradgrind,'Iwasaddressingmyselftoyou。Youmayoryoumaynotbeawareforperhapsyouhavenotbeenmuchintheaudience,thatJupehasmissedhistipveryoften,lately。'
'Has-whathashemissed?'askedMr。Gradgrind,glancingatthepotentBounderbyforassistance。
'Missedhistip。'
'OfferedattheGartersfourtimeslastnight,andneverdone'emonce,'saidMasterKidderminster。'Missedhistipatthebanners,too,andwaslooseinhisponging。'
'Didn'tdowhatheoughttodo。Wasshortinhisleapsandbadinhistumbling,'Mr。Childersinterpreted。
'Oh!'saidMr。Gradgrind,'thatistip,isit?'
'Inageneralwaythat'smissinghistip,'Mr。E。W。B。Childersanswered。
'Nineoils,Merrylegs,missingtips,garters,banners,andPonging,eh!'ejaculatedBounderby,withhislaughoflaughs。'Queersortofcompany,too,foramanwhohasraisedhimself!'
'Loweryourself,then,'retortedCupid。'OhLord!ifyou'veraisedyourselfsohighasallthatcomesto,letyourselfdownabit。'
'Thisisaveryobtrusivelad!'saidMr。Gradgrind,turning,andknittinghisbrowsonhim。
'We'dhavehadayounggentlemantomeetyou,ifwehadknownyouwerecoming,'retortedMasterKidderminster,nothingabashed。
'It'sapityyoudon'thaveabespeak,beingsoparticular。You'reontheTight-Jeff,ain'tyou?'
'Whatdoesthisunmannerlyboymean,'askedMr。Gradgrind,eyeinghiminasortofdesperation,'byTight-Jeff?'
'There!Getout,getout!'saidMr。Childers,thrustinghisyoungfriendfromtheroom,ratherintheprairiemanner。'Tight-JefforSlack-Jeff,itdon'tmuchsignify:it'sonlytight-ropeandslack-
rope。YouweregoingtogivemeamessageforJupe?'
'Yes,Iwas。'
'Then,'continuedMr。Childers,quickly,'myopinionis,hewillneverreceiveit。Doyouknowmuchofhim?'
'Ineversawthemaninmylife。'
'Idoubtifyoueverwillseehimnow。It'sprettyplaintome,he'soff。'
'Doyoumeanthathehasdesertedhisdaughter?'
'Ay!Imean,'saidMr。Childers,withanod,'thathehascut。Hewasgoosedlastnight,hewasgoosedthenightbeforelast,hewasgoosedto-day。Hehaslatelygotinthewayofbeingalwaysgoosed,andhecan'tstandit。'
'Whyhashebeen-soverymuch-Goosed?'askedMr。Gradgrind,forcingthewordoutofhimself,withgreatsolemnityandreluctance。
'Hisjointsareturningstiff,andheisgettingusedup,'saidChilders。'HehashispointsasaCacklerstill,buthecan'tgetalivingoutofthem。'
'ACackler!'Bounderbyrepeated。'Herewegoagain!'
'Aspeaker,ifthegentlemanlikesitbetter,'saidMr。E。W。B。
Childers,superciliouslythrowingtheinterpretationoverhisshoulder,andaccompanyingitwithashakeofhislonghair-whichallshookatonce。'Now,it'saremarkablefact,sir,thatitcutthatmandeeper,toknowthathisdaughterknewofhisbeinggoosed,thantogothroughwithit。'
'Good!'interruptedMr。Bounderby。'Thisisgood,Gradgrind!A
mansofondofhisdaughter,thatherunsawayfromher!Thisisdevilishgood!Ha!ha!Now,I'lltellyouwhat,youngman。I
haven'talwaysoccupiedmypresentstationoflife。Iknowwhatthesethingsare。Youmaybeastonishedtohearit,butmymother-ranawayfromme。'
E。W。B。Childersrepliedpointedly,thathewasnotatallastonishedtohearit。