Shelaughed,clearlynotatmycomplimentasIamsuresheneednothavedone,sinceitwasaverycommonplacefact,butatsomethingwhichwasstirringinhermind;andshestilllookedatmekindly,butwiththeabove-saidkeenlookinhereyes,andthenshesaid:
“Well,perhapsitisstrange,thoughIhaveagooddealtodoathome,whatwithlookingaftermyfather,anddealingwithtwoorthreeyoungmenwhohavetakenaspeciallikingtome,andallofwhomIcannotpleaseatonce。Butyou,dearneighbour;itseemstomestrangerthatyoushouldknowtheupperriver,thanthatIshouldnotknowit;for,asIunderstand,youhaveonlybeeninEnglandafewdays。Butperhapsyoumeanthatyouhavereadaboutitinbooks,andseenpicturesofit?——thoughthatdoesnotcometomucheither,“
“Truly,“saidI。“Besides,IhavenotreadanybooksabouttheThames:
itwasoneoftheminorstupiditiesofourtimethatnoonethoughtfittowriteadecentbookaboutwhatmayfairlybecalledouronlyEnglishriver。“
ThewordswerenosooneroutofmymouththanIsawthatIhadmadeanothermistake;andIfeltreallyannoyedwithmyself,asIdidnotwanttogointoalongexplanationjustthen,orbeginanotherseriesofOdysseanlies。Somehow,Ellenseemedtoseethis,andshetooknoadvantageofmyslip;herpiercinglookchangedintooneofmerefrankkindness,andshesaid:
“Well,anyhowIamgladthatIamtravellingthesewaterswithyou,sinceyouknowourriversowell,andIknowlittleofitpastPangbourne,foryoucantellmeallIwanttoknowaboutit。“Shepausedaminute,andthensaid:“YetyoumustunderstandthatthepartIdoknow,Iknowasthoroughlyasyoudo。IshouldbesorryforyoutothinkthatIamcarelessofathingsobeautifulandinterestingastheThames。“
Shesaidthisquiteearnestly,andwithanairofaffectionateappealtomewhichpleasedmeverymuch;butIcouldseethatshewasonlykeepingherdoubtsaboutmeforanothertime。
PresentlywecametoDay'sLock,whereDickandhistwosittershadwaitedforus。Hewouldhavemegoashore,asiftoshowmesomethingwhichIhadneverseenbefore;andnothinglothIfollowedhim,Ellenbymyside,tothewell-rememberedDykes,andthelongchurchbeyondthem,whichwasstillusedforvariouspurposesbythegoodfolkofDorchester:where,bytheway,thevillageguest-housestillhadthesignoftheFleur-de-lucewhichitusedtobearinthedayswhenhospitalityhadtobeboughtandsold。Thistime,however,Imadenosignofallthisbeingfamiliartome:thoughaswesatforawhileonthemoundoftheDykeslookingupatSinodunanditsclear-cuttrench,anditssister_mamelon_ofWhittenham,IfeltsomewhatuncomfortableunderEllen'sseriousattentivelook,whichalmostdrewfrommethecry,“Howlittleanythingischangedhere!“
WestoppedagainatAbington,which,likeWallingford,wasinawaybotholdandnewtome,sinceithadbeenliftedoutofitsnineteenth-centurydegradation,andotherwisewasaslittlealteredasmightbe。
SunsetwasintheskyasweskirtedOxfordbyOseney;westoppedaminuteortwohardbytheancientcastletoputHenryMorsomashore。
Itwasamatterofcoursethatsofarastheycouldbeseenfromtheriver,Imissednoneofthetowersandspiresofthatoncedon-beriddencity;butthemeadowsallroundwhich,whenIhadlastpassedthroughthem,weregettingdailymoreandmoresqualid,moreandmoreimpressedwiththesealofthe“stirandintellectuallifeofthenineteenthcentury,“werenolongerintellectual,buthadonceagainbecomeasbeautifulastheyshouldbe,andthelittlehillofHinksey,withtwoorthreeveryprettystonehousesnew-grownonitI
usethewordadvisedly;fortheyseemedtobelongtoitlookeddownhappilyonthefullstreamsandwavinggrass,greynow,butforthesunset,withitsfast-ripeningseeds。
Therailwayhavingdisappeared,andtherewiththevariouslevelbridgesoverthestreamsofThames,weweresoonthroughMedleyLockandinthewidewaterthatwashesPortMeadow,withitsnumerouspopulationofgeesenowisediminished;andIthoughtwithinteresthowitsnameandusehadsurvivedfromtheolderimperfectcommunalperiod,throughthetimeoftheconfusedstruggleandtyrannyoftherightsofproperty,intothepresentrestandhappinessofcompleteCommunism。
IwastakenashoreagainatGodstow,toseetheremainsoftheoldnunnery,prettynearlyinthesameconditionasIhadrememberedthem;
andfromthehighbridgeoverthecutcloseby,Icouldsee,eveninthetwilight,howbeautifulthelittlevillagewithitsgreystonehouseshadbecome;forwehadnowcomeintothestone-country,inwhicheveryhousemustbeeitherbuilt,wallsandroof,ofgreystoneorbeablotonthelandscape。
Westillrowedonafterthis,Ellentakingthescullsinmyboat;wepassedaweiralittlehigherup,andaboutthreemilesbeyonditcamebymoonlightagaintoalittletown,wherewesleptatahousethinlyinhabited,asitsfolkweremostlytentedinthehay-fields。
Chapter28
TheLittleRiverWestartedbeforesixo'clockthenextmorning,aswewerestilltwenty-fivemilesfromourresting-place,andDickwantedtobetherebeforedusk。Thejourneywaspleasant,thoughtothosewhodonotknowtheupperThames,thereislittletosayaboutit。EllenandIwereoncemoretogetherinherboat,thoughDick,forfairness'sake,wasforhavingmeinhis,andlettingthetwowomenscullthegreentoy。
Ellen,however,wouldnotallowthis,butclaimedmeastheinterestingpersonofthecompany。“Afterhavingcomesofar,“saidshe,“Iwillnotbeputoffwithacompanionwhowillalwaysbethinkingofsomebodyelsethanme:theguestistheonlypersonwhocanamusemeproperly。Imeanthatreally,“saidshe,turningtome,“andhavenotsaiditmerelyasaprettysaying。“
Clarablushedandlookedveryhappyatallthis;forIthinkuptothistimeshehadbeenratherfrightenedofEllen。AsformeIfeltyoungagain,andstrangehopesofmyyouthwereminglingwiththepleasureofthepresent;almostdestroyingit,andquickeningitintosomethinglikepain。
Aswepassedthroughtheshortandwindingreachesofthenowquicklylesseningstream,Ellensaid:“Howpleasantthislittleriveristome,whoamusedtoagreatwidewashofwater;italmostseemsasifweshallhavetostopateveryreach-end。IexpectbeforeIgethomethiseveningIshallhaverealisedwhatalittlecountryEnglandis,sincewecansosoongettotheendofitsbiggestriver。“
“Itisnotbig,“saidI,“butitispretty。“
“Yes,“shesaid,“anddon'tyoufinditdifficulttoimaginethetimeswhenthisprettycountrywastreatedbyitsfolkasifithadbeenanuglycharacterlesswaste,withnodelicatebeautytobeguarded,withnoheedtakenoftheeverfreshpleasureoftherecurringseasons,andchangefulweather,anddiversequalityofthesoil,andsoforth?Howcouldpeoplebesocrueltothemselves?“
“Andtoeachother,“saidI。Thenasuddenresolutiontookholdofme,andIsaid:“Dearneighbour,ImayaswelltellyouatoncethatI
finditeasiertoimagineallthatuglypastthanyoudo,becauseI
myselfhavebeenpartofit。Iseeboththatyouhavedivinedsomethingofthisinme;andalsoIthinkyouwillbelievemewhenI
tellyouofit,sothatIamgoingtohidenothingfromyouatall。“
Shewassilentalittle,andthenshesaid:“Myfriend,youhaveguessedrightaboutme;andtotellyouthetruthIhavefollowedyouupfromRunnymedeinorderthatImightaskyoumanyquestions,andbecauseIsawthatyouwerenotoneofus;andthatinterestedandpleasedme,andIwantedtomakeyouashappyasyoucouldbe。Tosaythetruth,therewasariskinit,“saidshe,blushing——“ImeanastoDickandClara;forImusttellyou,sincewearegoingtobesuchclosefriends,thatevenamongstus,wheretherearesomanybeautifulwomen,Ihaveoftentroubledmen'smindsdisastrously。ThatisonereasonwhyIwaslivingalonewithmyfatherinthecottageatRunnymede。Butitdidnotansweronthatscore;forofcoursepeoplecamethere,astheplaceisnotadesert,andtheyseemedtofindmeallthemoreinterestingforlivingalonelikethat,andfelltomakingstoriesofmetothemselves——likeIknowyoudid,myfriend。
Well,letthatpass。Thisevening,orto-morrowmorning,Ishallmakeaproposaltoyoutodosomethingwhichwouldpleasemeverymuch,andIthinkwouldnothurtyou。“
Ibrokeineagerly,sayingthatIwoulddoanythingintheworldforher;forindeed,inspiteofmyyearsandthetooobvioussignsofthemthoughthatfeelingofrenewedyouthwasnotamerepassingsensation,Ithink——inspiteofmyyears,Isay,Ifeltaltogethertoohappyinthecompanyofthisdelightfulgirl,andwaspreparedtotakeherconfidencesformorethantheymeantperhaps。
Shelaughednow,butlookedverykindlyonme。“Well,“shesaid,“meantimeforthepresentwewillletitbe;forImustlookatthisnewcountrythatwearepassingthrough。Seehowtheriverhaschangedcharacteragain:itisbroadnow,andthereachesarelongandveryslow-running。Andlook,thereisaferry!“
Itoldherthenameofit,asIslowedofftoputtheferry-chainoverourheads;andonwewentpassingbyabankcladwithoaktreesonourlefthand,tillthestreamnarrowedagainanddeepenedandwerowedonbetweenwallsoftallreeds,whosepopulationofreedsparrowsandwarblersweredelighfullyrestless,twitteringandchucklingasthewashoftheboatsstirredthereedsfromthewaterupwardinthestill,hotmorning。
Shesmiledwithpleasure,andherlazyenjoymentofthenewsceneseemedtobringoutherbeautydoublyassheleanedbackamidstthecushions,thoughshewasfarfromlanguid;heridlenessbeingtheidlenessofaperson,strongandwell-knitbothinbodyandminddeliberatelyresting。
“Look!“shesaid,springingupsuddenlyfromherplacewithoutanyobviouseffort,andbalancingherselfwithexquisitegraceandease;
“lookatthebeautifuloldbridgeahead!“
“Ineedscarcelylookatthat,“saidI,notturningmyheadawayfromherbeauty。“Iknowwhatitis;though“withasmile“weusedtocallittheOldBridgetimeagone。“
Shelookedonmekindly,andsaid,“Howwellwegetonnowyouarenolongeronyourguardagainstme!“
Andshestoodlookingthoughtfullyatmestill,tillshehadtositdownaswepassedunderthemiddleoneoftherowoflittlepointedarchesoftheoldestbridgeacrosstheThames。
“Othebeautifulfields!“shesaid;“Ihadnoideaofthecharmofaverysmallriverlikethis。Thesmallnessofthescaleofeverything,theshortreaches,andthespeedychangeofthebanks,giveoneafeelingofgoingsomewhere,ofcomingtosomethingstrange,afeelingofadventurewhichIhavenotfeltinbiggerwaters。“
Ilookedatherdelightedly;forhervoice,sayingtheverythingthatIwasthinking,waslikeacaresstome。Shecaughtmyeyeandhercheeksreddenedundertheirtan,andshesaidsimply:
“Imusttellyou,myfriend,thatwhenmyfatherleavestheThamesthissummerhewilltakemeawaytoaplaceneartheRomanwallinCumberland;sothatthisvoyageofmineisfarewelltothesouth;ofcoursewithmygoodwillinaway;andyetIamsorryforit。Ihadn'tthehearttotellDickyesterdaythatwewereasgoodasgonefromtheThames-side;butsomehowtoyouImustneedstellit。“
Shestoppedandseemedverythoughtfulforawile,andthensaid,smiling:
“ImustsaythatIdon'tlikemovingaboutfromonehometoanother;
onegetssopleasantlyusedtoallthedetailofthelifeaboutone;
itfitssoharmoniouslyandhappilyintoone'sownlife,thatbeginningagain,eveninasmallway,isakindofpain。ButIdaresayinthecountrywhichyoucomefrom,youwouldthinkthispettyandunadventurousandwouldthinktheworseofmeforit。“
Shesmiledatmecaressinglyasshespoke,andImadehastetoanswer:
“Ono,indeed;againyouechomyverythoughts。ButIhardlyexpectedtohearyouspeakso。IgatheredfromallIhaveheardthattherewasagreatdealofchangingofabodeamongstyouinthiscountry。“
“Well,“shesaid,“ofcoursepeoplearefreetomoveabout;butexceptforpleasure-parties,especiallyinharvestandhay-time,likethisofours,Idon'tthinktheydosomuch。IadmitthatIalsohaveothermoodsthanthatofstay-at-home,asIhintedjustnow,andIshouldliketogowithyouallthroughthewestcountry——thinkingofnothing,“concludedshe,smiling。
“Ishouldhaveplentytothinkof,“saidI。
Chapter29
AResting-PlaceontheUpperThamesPresentlyataplacewheretheriverflowedroundaheadlandofthemeadows,westoppedawhileforrestandvictuals,andsettledourselvesonabeautifulbankwhichalmostreachedthedignityofahill-side:thewidemeadowsspreadbeforeus,andalreadythescythewasbusyamidstthehay。OnechangeInoticedamidstthequietbeautyofthefields——towit,thattheywereplantedwithtreeshereandthere,oftenfruit-trees,andthattherewasnoneoftheniggardlybegrudgingofspacetoahandsometreewhichIrememberedtoowell;
andthoughthewillowswereoftenpolledorshrowded,astheycallitinthecountryside,thiswasdonewithsomeregardtobeauty:Imeanthattherewasnopollingofrowsonrowssoastodestroythepleasantnessofhalfamileofcountry,butathoughtfulsequenceinthecutting,thatpreventedasuddenbarenessanywhere。Tobeshort,thefieldswereeverywheretreatedasagardenmadeforthepleasureaswellasthelivelihoodofall,asoldHammondtoldmewsthecase。
Onthisbankorbentofthehill,then,wehadourmiddaymeal;
somewhatearlyfordinner,ifthatmattered,butwehadbeenstirringearly:theslenderstreamoftheThameswindingbelowusbetweenthegardenofacountryIhavebeentellingof;afurlongfromuswasabeautifullittleisletbegrownwithgracefultrees;ontheslopeswestwardofuswasawoodofvariedgrowthoverhangingthenarrowmeadowonthesouthsideoftheriver;whiletothenorthwasawidestretchofmeadrisingverygraduallyfromtheriver'sedge。A
delicatespireofanancientbuildingroseupfromoutofthetreesinthemiddledistance,withafewgreyhousesclusteredaboutit;whilenearertous,infactnothalfafurlongfromthewaterwasaquitemodernstonehouse——awidequadrangleofonestory,thebuildingsthatmadeitbeingquitelow。Therewasnogardenbetweenitandtheriver,nothingbutarowofpear-treesstillquiteyoungandslender;andthoughtheredidnotseemtobemuchornamentaboutit,ithadasortofnaturalelegance,likethatofthetreesthemselves。
AswesatlookingdownonallthisinthesweetJuneday,ratherhappythanmerry,Ellen,whosatnextme,herhandclaspedaboutoneknee,leanedsidewaystome,andsaidinalowvoicewhichDickandClaramighthavenotediftheyhadnotbeenbusyinhappywordlesslove-making:“Friend,inyourcountrywerethehousesofyourfield-labourersanythinglikethat?“
Isaid:“Well,atanyratethehousesofourrichmenwerenot;theyweremereblotsuponthefaceoftheland。“
“Ifindthathardtounderstand,“shesaid。“Icanseewhytheworkmen,whoweresooppressed,shouldnothavebeenabletoliveinbeautifulhouses;forittakestimeandleisure,andmindsnotover-burdenedwithcare,tomakebeautifuldwellings;andIquiteunderstandthatthesepoorpeoplewerenotallowedtoliveinsuchawayastohavethesetousnecessarygoodthings。Butwhytherichmenwhohadthetimeandtheleisureandthematerialsforbuilding,asitwouldbeinthiscase,shouldnothavehousedthemselveswell,I
donotunderstandasyet。Iknowwhatyouaresayingtome,“shesaid,lookingmefullintheeyesandblushing,“towitthattheirhousesandallbelongingtothemweregenerallyuglyandbase,unlesstheychancedtobeancientlikeyonderremnantofourforefathers'work“
pointingtothespire;“thattheywere——letmesee;whatistheword?“
“Vulgar,“saidI。“Weusedtosay,“saidI,“thattheuglinessandvulgarityoftherichmen'sdwellingswasanecessaryreflectionfromthesordidnessandbarenessoflifewhichtheyforceduponthepoorpeople。“
Sheknitherbrowsasinthought;thenturnedabrightenedfaceonme,asifshehadcaughttheidea,andsaid:“Yes,friend,Iseewhatyoumean。Wehavesometimes——thoseofuswholookintothesethings——talkedthisverymatterover;because,tosaythetruth,wehaveplentyofrecordoftheso-calledartsofthetimebeforeEqualityofLife;andtherearenotwantingpeoplewhosaythatthestateofthatsocietywasnotthecauseofallthatugliness;thattheywereuglyintheirlifebecausetheylikedtobe,andcouldhavehadbeautifulthingsaboutthemiftheyhadchosen;justasamanorabodyofmennowmay,iftheyplease,makethingsmoreorlessbeautiful——Stop!Iknowwhatyouaregoingtosay。“
“Doyou?“saidI,smiling,yetwithabeatingheart。
“Yes,“shesaid;“youareansweringme,teachingme,insomewayoranother,althoughyouhavenotspokenthewordsaloud。Youaregoingtosaythatintimesofinequalityitwasanessentialconditionofthelifeoftheserichmenthattheyshouldnotthemselvesmakewhattheywantedfortheadornmentoftheirlives,butshouldforcethosetomakethemwhomtheyforcedtolivepinchedandsordidlives;andthatasanecessaryconsequencethesordidnessandpinching,theuglybarrennessofthoseruinedlives,wereworkedupintotheadornmentofthelivesoftherich,andartdiedoutamongstmen?Wasthatwhatyouwouldsay,myfriend?“
“Yes,yes,“Isaid,lookingathereagerly;forshehadrisenandwasstandingontheedgeofthebent,thelightwindstirringherdaintyraiment,onehandlaidonherbosom,theotherarmstretcheddownwardandclenchedinherearnestness。
“Itistrue,“shesaid,“itistrue!Wehaveproveditistrue!“
Ithinkamidstmy——somethingmorethaninterestinher,andadmirationforher,Iwasbeginningtowonderhowitwouldallend。Ihadaglimmeringoffearofwhatmightfollow;ofanxietyastotheremedywhichthisnewagemightofferforthemissingofsomethingonemightsetone'shearton。ButnowDickrosetohisfeetandcriedoutinhisheartymanner:“NeighbourEllen,areyouquarrelingwiththeguest,orareyouworryinghimtotellyouthingswhichhecannotproperlyexplaintoyourignorance?“
“Neither,dearneighbour,“shesaid。“IwassofarfromquarrelingwithhimthatIthinkIhavebeenmakinghimgoodfriendsbothwithhimselfandme。Isthatso,dearguest?“shesaid,lookingdownatmewithadelightfulsmileofconfidenceinbeingunderstood。
“Indeeditis,“saidI。
“Well,moreover,“shesaid,“Imustsayforhimthathehasexplainedhimselftomeverywellindeed,sothatIquiteunderstandhim。“
“Allright,“quothDick。“WhenIfirstseteyesonyouatRunnymedeI
knewthattherewassomethingwonderfulinyourkeennessofwits。I
don'tsaythatasamereprettyspeechtopleaseyou,“saidhequickly,“butbecauseitistrue;anditmademewanttoseemoreofyou。But,come,weoughttobegoing;forwearenothalfway,andweoughttobeinwellbeforesunset。“
AndtherewithhetookClara'shand,andledherdownthebent。ButEllenstoodthoughtfullylookingdownforalittle,andasItookherhandtofollowDick,sheturnedroundtomeandsaid:
“Youmighttellmeagreatdealandmakemanythingscleartome,ifyouwould。“
“Yes,“saidI,“Iamprettywellfitforthat,——andfornothingelse——anoldmanlikeme。“
Shedidnotnoticethebitternesswhich,whetherIlikeditornot,wasinmyvoiceasIspoke,butwenton:“Itisnotsomuchformyself;Ishouldbequitecontenttodreamaboutpasttimes,andifI
couldnotidealisethem,yetatleastidealisesomeofthepeoplewholivedinthem。ButIthinksometimespeoplearetoocarelessofthehistoryofthepast——tooapttoleaveitinthehandsofoldlearnedmenlikeHammond。Whoknows?happyasweare,timesmayalter;wemaybebittenwithsomeimpulsetowardschange,andmanythingsmayseemtoowonderfulforustoresist,tooexcitingnottocatchat,ifwedonotknowthattheyarebutphasesofwhathasbeenbefore;andwithalruinousdeceitful,andsordid。“
Aswewentslowlydowntowardtheboatsshesaidagain:“Notformyselfalone,dearfriend;Ishallhavechildren;perhapsbeforetheendagoodmany;——Ihopeso。AndthoughofcourseIcannotforceanyspecialkindofknowledgeuponthem,yet,myfriend,Icannothelpbutthinkingthatjustastheymightbelikemeinbody,soImightimpressuponthemsomepartofmywaysofthinking;thatis,indeed,someoftheessentialpartofmyself;thatpartwhichwasnotmeremoods,createdbymattersandeventsroundaboutme。Whatdoyouthink?“
OfonethingIwassure,thatherbeautyandkindnessandeagernesscombined,forcedmetothinkasshedid,whenshewasnotearnestlylayingherselfopentoreceivemythoughts。Isaid,whatatthetimewastrue,thatIthoughtitmostimportant;andpresentlystoodentrancedbythewonderofhergraceasshesteppedintothelightboatandheldoutherhandtome。AndsoonwewentuptheThamesstill——orwhither?
Chapter30
TheJourney'sEndOnwewent。Inspiteofmynew-bornexcitementaboutEllen,andmygatheringfearofwhereitwouldlandmeIcouldnothelptakingabundantinterestintheconditionoftheriveranditsbanks;allthemoreassheneverseemedwearyofthechangingpicture,butlookedateveryyardofflowerybankandgurglingeddywiththesameaffectionateinterestwhichImyselfoncehadsofully,asIusedtothink,andperhapshadnotaltogetherlosteveninthisstrangelychangedsocietywithallitswonders。Ellenseemeddelightedwithmypleasureatthis,that,ortheotherpieceofcarefulnessindealingwiththeriver:thenursingofprettycorners;theingenuityindealingwithdifficultiesofwater-engineeringsothatthemostobviouslyusefulworkslookedbeautifulandnaturalalso。Allthis,I
say,pleasedmehugely,andshewaspleasedatmypleasure——butratherpuzzledtoo。
“Youseemastonished,“shesaid,justafterwehadpassedamill*
whichspannedallthestreamsavethewaterwayfortraffic,butwhichwasasbeautifulinitswayasaGothiccathedral——“youseemastonishedatthisbeingsopleasanttolookat。“
*IshouldhavesaidthatallalongtheThamestherewereabundanceofmillsusedforvariouspurposes;noneofwhichwereinanydegreeunsightly,andmanystrikinglybeautiful;andthegardensaboutthemmarvelsofloveliness。
“Yes,“Isaid,“inawayIam;thoughIdon'tseewhyitshouldnotbe。“
“Ah!“shesaid,lookingatmeadmiringly,yetwithalurkingsmileinherface,“youknowallaboutthehistoryofthepast。Weretheynotalwayscarefulaboutthislittlestreamwhichnowaddssomuchpleasantnesstothecountryside?Itwouldalwaysbeeasytomanagethislittleriver。Ah!Iforgot,though,“shesaid,ashereyecaughtmine,“inthedayswearethinkingofpleasurewaswhollyneglectedinsuchmatters。Buthowdidtheymanagetheriverinthedaysthatyou——“Livedinwaswhatshewasgoingtosay;butcorrectingherself,said:“inthedaysofwhichyouhaverecord?“
“They_mis_managedit,“quothI。“Uptothefirsthalfofthenineteenthcentury,whenitwasstillmoreorlessofahighwayforthecountrypeople,somecarewastakenoftheriveranditsbanks;
andthoughIdon'tsupposeanyonetroubledhimselfaboutitsaspect,yetitwastrimandbeautiful。Butwhentherailways——ofwhichnodoubtyouhaveheard——cameintopower,theywouldnotallowthepeopleofthecountrytouseeitherthenaturalorartificialwaterways,ofwhichthelattertherewereagreatmany。Isupposewhenwegethigherupweshallseeoneofthese;averyimportantone,whichoneoftheserailwaysentirelyclosedtothepublic,sothattheymightforcepeopletosendtheirgoodsbytheirprivateroad,andsotaxthemasheavilyastheycould。“
Ellenlaughedheartily。“Well,“,shesaid,“thatisnotstatedclearlyenoughinourhistory-books,anditisworthknowing。Butcertainlythepeopleofthosedaysmusthavebeenacuriouslylazyset。Wearenoteitherfidgetyorquarrelsomenow,butifanyonetriedsuchapieceoffollyonus,weshouldusethesaidwaterways,whoevergainsayedus:surelythatwouldbesimpleenough。However,Irememberothercasesofthisstupidity:whenIwasontheRhinetwoyearsago,Iremembertheyshowedusruinsofoldcastles,which,accordingtowhatweheard,musthavebeenmadeforprettymuchthesamepurposeastherailwayswere。ButIaminterruptingyourhistoryoftheriver:
praygoon。“
“Itisbothshortandstupidenough,“saidI。“Theriverhavinglostitspracticalorcommercialvalue——thatisbeingofnousetomakemoneyof——“
Shenodded。“Iunderstandwhatthatqueerphrasemeans,“saidshe。“Goon!“
“Well,itwasutterlyneglectedtillatlastitbecameanuisance——“
“Yes,“quothEllen,“Iunderstand:liketherailwaysandtherobberbaronknights。Yes?“
“Sothentheyturnedthemakeshiftbusinessontoit,andhandeditovertoabodyupinLondon,whofromtimetotime,inordertoshowthattheyhadsomethingtodo,didsomedamagehereandthere,——cutdowntrees,destroyingthebanksthereby;dredgedtheriverwhereitwasnotneededalways,andthrewthedredglingsonthefieldssoastospoilthem;andsoforth。Butforthemostparttheypractised`masterlyinactivity,'asitwasthencalled——thatis,theydrewtheirsalaries,andletthingsalone。“
“Drewtheirsalaries,“shesaid。“Iknowthatmeansthattheywereallowedtotakeanextralotofotherpeople'sgoodsfordoingnothing。Andifthathadbeenall,itreallymighthavebeenworthwhiletoletthemdoso,ifyoucouldn'tfindanyotherwayofkeepingthemquiet;butitseemstomethatbeingsopaid,theycouldnothelpdoingsomething,andthatsomethingwasboundtobemischief,——because,“saidshe,kindlingwithsuddenanger,“thewholebusinesswasfoundedonliesandfalsepretensions。Idon'tmeanonlythoseriver-guardians,butallthosemaster-peopleIhavereadof。“
“Yes,“saidI,“howhappyyouaretohavegotoutoftheparsimonyofoppression!“
“Whydoyousigh?“shesaid,kindlyandsomewhatanxiously。“Youseemtothinkthatitwillnotlast?“
“Itwilllastforyou,“quothI。
“Butwhynotforyou?“saidshe。“Surelyitisforalltheworld;andifyourcountryissomewhatbackward,itwillcomeintolinebeforelong。Or,“shesaidquickly,“areyouthinkingthatyoumustsoongobackagain?IwillmakemyproposalwhichItoldyouofatonce,andsoperhapsputanendtoyouranxiety。Iwasgoingtoproposethatyoushouldlivewithuswherewearegoing。Ifeelquiteoldfriendswithyou,andshouldbesorrytoloseyou。“Thenshesmiledonme,andsaid:“Doyouknow,Ibegintosuspectyouofwantingtonurseashamsorrow,liketheridiculouscharactersinsomeofthosequeeroldnovelsthatIhavecomeacrossnowandthen。“
Ireallyhadalmostbeguntosuspectitmyself,butIrefusedtoadmitsomuch;soIsighednomorebutfelltogivingmydelightfulcompanionwhatlittlepiecesofhistoryIknewabouttheriveranditsborderlands;andthetimepassedpleasantlyenough;andbetweenthetwoofusshewasabetterscullerthanIwas,andseemedquitetirelesswekeptupfairlywellwithDick,hotastheafternoonwas,andswallowedupthewayatagreatrate。Atlastwepassedunderanotherancientbridge;andthroughmeadowsborderedatfirstwithhugeelm-treesmingledwithsweetchestnutofyoungerbutveryelegantgrowth;andthemeadowswidenedoutsomuchthatitseemedasifthetreesmustnowbeonthebentsonly,oraboutthehousesexceptforthegrowthofwillowsontheimmediatebanks;sothatthewidestretchofgrasswaslittlebrokenhere。Dickgotverymuchexcitednow,andoftenstoodupintheboattocryouttousthatthiswassuchandsuchafieldandsoforth;andwecaughtfireathisenthusiasmforthehay-fieldanditsharvest,andpulledourbest。
Atlastwewerepassingthroughareachoftheriverwhereonthesideofthetowing-pathwasahighishbankwithathickwhisperingbedofreedsbeforeit,andontheothersideahigherbank,clothedwithwillowsthatdippedintothestreamandcrownedbyancientelm-trees,wesawbrightfigurescomingalongclosetothebank,asiftheywerelookingforsomething;as,indeed,theywere,andwe——thatis,Dickandhiscompany——werewhattheywerelookingfor。Dicklayonhisoars,andwefollowedhisexample。Hegaveajoyousshouttothepeopleonthebank,whichwasechoedbackfromitinmanyvoices,deepandsweetlyshrill;fortherewereaboveadozenpersons,bothmen,women,andchildren。Atallhandsomewoman,withblackwavyhairanddeep-setgreyeyes,cameforwardonthebankandwavedherhandgracefullytous,andsaid:
“Dick,myfriend,wehavealmosthadtowaitforyou?Whatexcusehaveyoutomakeforyourslavishpunctuality?Whydidn'tyoutakeusbysurprise,andcomeyesterday?“
“O,“saidDick,withanalmostimperceptiblejerkofhisheadtowardourboat,“wedidn;twanttocometooquicklyupthewater;thereissomuchtoseeforthosewhohavenotbeenupherebefore。“
“True,true,“saidthestatelylady,forstatelyisthewordthatmustbeusedforher;“andwewantthemtogettoknowthewetwayfromtheeastthoroughlywell,sincetheymustoftenuseitnow。Butcomeashoreatonce,Dick,andyou,dearneighbours;thereisabreakinthereedsandagoodlanding-placejustroundthecorner。Wecancarryupyourthings,orsendsomeoftheladsafterthem。“
“No,no,“saidDick;“itiseasiergoingbywater,thoughitisbutastep。Besides,Iwanttobringmyfriendheretotheproperplace。WewillgoontotheFord;andyoucantalktousfromthebankaswepaddlealong。“
Hepulledhisscullsthroughthewater,andonwewent,turningasharpangleandgoingnorthalittle。Presentlywesawbeforeusabankofelm-trees,whichtoldusofahouseamidstthem,thoughlookedinvainforthegreywallsthatIexpectedtoseethere。Aswewent,thefolkonthebanktalkedindeed,minglingtheirkindvoiceswiththecuckoo'ssong,thesweetstrongwhistleoftheblackbirdsandtheceaselessnoteofthecorn-crakeashecreptthroughthelonggrassofthemowing-field;whencecamethewavesoffragrancefromthefloweringcloveramidstoftheripegrass。
Inafewminuteswehadpassedthroughadeepeddyingpoolintothesharpstreamthatranfromtheford,andbeachedourcraftonatinystrandoflimestone-gravel,andsteppedashoreintothearmsofourup-riverfriend,ourjourneydone。
Idisentangledmyselffromthemerrythrong,andmountingonthecart-roadthatranalongtheriversomefeetabovethewater,Ilookedroundaboutme。Therivercamedownthroughawidemeadowonmyleft,whichwasgreynowwiththeripenedseedinggrasses;thegleamingwaterwaslostpresentlybyaturnofthebank,butoverthemeadowI
couldseethemingledgablesofabuildingwhereIknewthelockmustbe,andwhichnowseemedtocombineamillwithit。Alowwoodedridgeboundedtheriver-plaintothesouthandsouth-east,whencewehadcome,andafewlowhouseslayaboutitsfeetandupitsslope。I
turnedalittletomyright,andthroughthehawthornspraysandlongshootsofthewildrosescouldseetheflatcountryspreadingoutfarawayunderthesunofthecalmevening,tillsomethingthatmightbecalledhillswithalookofsheep-pasturesaboutthemboundeditwithasoftblueline。Beforeme,theelm-boughsstillhidmostofwhathousestheremightbeinthisriver-sidedwellingofmen;buttotherightofthecart-roadafewgreybuildingsofthesimplestkindshowedhereandthere。
ThereIstoodinadreamymood,andrubbedmyeyesasifIwerenotwhollyawake,andhalfexpectedtoseethegay-cladcompanyofbeautifulmenandwomenchangetotwoorthreespindle-leggedback-bowedmenandhaggard,hollow-eyed,ill-favouredwomen,whoonceworedownthesoilofthislandwiththeirheavyhopelessfeet,fromdaytoday,andseasontoseason,andyeartoyear。Butnochangecameasyet,andmyheartswelledwithjoyasIthoughtofallthebeautifulgreyvillages,fromtherivertotheplaintotheuplands,whichIcouldpicturetomyselfsowell,allpeoplednowwiththishappyandlovelyfolk,whohadcastawayrichesandattainedtowealth。
Chapter31
AnOldHouseAmongstNewFolkAsIstoodthereEllendetachedherselffromourhappyfriendswhostillstoodonthelittlestrandandcameuptome。Shetookmebythehand,andsaidsoftly,“Takemeontothehouseatonce;weneednotwaitfortheothers:Ihadrathernot。“
IhadamindtosaythatIdidnotknowthewaythither,andthattheriver-sidedwellersshouldlead;butalmostwithoutmywillmyfeetmovedonalongtheroadtheyknew。Theraisedwayledusintoalittlefieldboundedbyabackwateroftheriverononeside;ontherighthandwecouldseeaclusterofsmallhousesandbarns,newandold,andbeforeusagreystonebarnandawallpartlyovergrownwithivy,overwhichafewgreygablesshowed。Thevillageroadendedintheshallowoftheaforesaidbackwater。Wecrossedtheroad,andagainalmostwithoutmywillmyhandraisedthelatchofadoorinthewall,andwestoodpresentlyonastonepathwhichleduptotheoldhousetowhichfateintheshapeofDickhadsostrangelybroughtmeinthisnewworldofmen。Mycompaniongaveasighofpleasedsurpriseandenjoyment;nordidIwonder,forthegardenbetweenthewallandthehousewasredolentoftheJuneflowers,andtheroseswererollingoveroneanotherwiththatdelicioussuper-abundanceofsmallwell-tendedgardenswhichatfirstsighttakesawayallthoughtfromthebeholdersavethatofbeauty。Theblackbirdsweresingingtheirloudest,thedoveswerecooingontheroof-ridge,therooksinthehighelms-treesbeyondweregarrulousamongtheyoungleaves,andtheswiftswheeledwhiningaboutthegables。Andthehouseitselfwasafitguardianforallthebeautyofthisheartofsummer。
OnceagainEllenechoedmythoughtsasshesaid:“Yes,friend,thisiswhatIcameoutfortosee;thismany-gabledoldhousebuiltbythesimplestofcountry-folkofthelong-pasttimes,regardlessofalltheturmoilthatwasgoingonincitiesandcourts,islovelystillamidstallthebeautywhichtheselatterdayshavecreated;andIdonotwonderatourfriendstendingitcarefullyandmakingmuchofit。Itseemstomeasifithadwaitedforthesehappydays,andheldinitthegatheredcrumbsofhappinessoftheconfusedandturbulentpast。“
Sheledmeupclosetothehouse,andlaidhershapelysun-brownedhandandarmonthelichenedwallasiftoembraceitandcriedout,“Ome!Ome!HowIlovetheearth,andtheseasons,andweather,andallthingsthatdealwithit,andallthatgrowsoutofit,——asthishasdone!“
Icouldnotanswerher,orsayaword。Herexultationandpleasureweresokeenandexquisite,andherbeauty,sodelicate,yetsointerfusedwithenergy,expresseditsofully,thatanyaddedwordwouldhavebeencommonplaceandfutile。Idreadedlesttheothersshouldcomeinsuddenlyandbreakthespellshehadcastaboutme;butwestoodthereawhilebythecornerofthebiggableofthehouse,andnoonecame。Iheardthemerryvoicessomewayoffpresently,andknewthattheyweregoingalongtherivertothegreatmeadowontheothersideofthehouseandgarden。
Wedrewbackalittle,andlookedupatthehouse:thedoorandthewindowswereopentothefragrantsun-curedair;fromtheupperwindow-sillshungfestoonsofflowersinhonourofthefestival,asiftheotherssharedinthelovefortheoldhouse。
“Comein,“saidEllen。“Ihopenothingwillspoilitinside;butI
don'tthinkitwill。Come!wemustgobackpresentlytotheothers。
Theyhavegoneontothetentspitchedforthehaymakers——thehousewouldnotholdatitheofthefolk,Iamsure。“
Sheledmetothedoor,murmuringlittleaboveherbreathasshedidso,“Theearthandthegrowthofitandthelifeofit!IfIcouldbutsayorshowhowIloveit!“
Wewentin,andfoundnosoulinanyroomaswewanderedfromroomtoroom,——fromtherose-coveredporchtothestrangeandquaintgarretsamongstthegreattimbersoftheroof,whereofoldtimethetillersandherdsmenofthemanorslept,butwhicha-nightsseemednow,bythesmallsizeofthebeds,andthelitterofuselessanddisregardedmatters——bunchesofdryingflowers,feathersofbirds,shellsofstarlings'eggs,caddiswormsinmugs,andthelike——seemedtobeinhabitedforthetimebychildren。
Everywheretherewasbutlittlefurniture,andthatonlythemostnecessary,andofthesimplestforms。TheextravagantloveofornamentwhichIhadnotedinthispeopleelsewhereseemedheretohavegivenplacetothefeelingthatthehouseitselfanditsassociationswastheornamentofthecountrylifeamidstwhichithadbeenleftstrandedfromoldtimes,andthattore-ornamentitwouldbuttakeawayitsuseasapieceofnaturalbeauty。
WesatdownatlastinaroomoverthewallwhichEllenhadcaressed,andwhichwasstillhungwitholdtapestry,originallyofnoartisticvalue,butnowfadedintopleasantgreytoneswhichharmonisedthoroughlywellwiththequietoftheplace,andwhichwouldhavebeenillsupplantedbybrighterandmorestrikingdecoration。
IaskedafewrandomquestionsofEllenaswesatthere,butscarcelylistenedtoheranswersandpresentlybecamesilent,andthenscarceconsciousofanything,butthatIwasthereinthatoldroom,thedovescrooningfromtheroofsofthebarnanddovecotbeyondthewindowoppositetome。
MythoughtreturnedtomeafterwhatIthinkwasbutaminuteortwo,butwhich,asinavividdream,seemedasifithadlastedalongtime,whenIsawEllensitting,lookingallthefulleroflifeandpleasureanddesirefromthecontrastwiththegreyfadedtapestrywithitsfutiledesign,whichwasnowonlybearablebecauseithadgrownsofaintandfeeble。
Shelookedatmekindly,butasifshereadmethroughandthrough。
Shesaid:“Youhavebegunagainyournever-endingcontrastbetweenthepastandthispresent。Isthatnotso?“
“True,“saidI。“Iwasthinkingofwhatyou,withyourcapacityandintelligence,joinedtoyourloveofpleasure,andyourimpatienceofunreasonablerestraint——ofwhatyouwouldhavebeeninthatpast。Andevennow,whenalliswonandhasbeenforalongtime,myheartissickenedwiththinkingofallthewasteoflifethathasgoneonforsomanyyears!“
“Somanycenturies,“shesaid,“somanyages!“
“True,“Isaid;“tootrue,“andsatsilentagain。
Sheroseupandsaid:“Come,Imustnotletyougooffintoadreamagainsosoon。Ifwemustloseyou,Iwantyoutoseeallthatyoucanseefirstbeforeyougobackagain。“
“Loseme?“Isaid——“gobackagain?AmInottogouptotheNorthwithyou?Whatdoyoumean?“
Shesmiledsomewhatsadly,andsaid:“Notyet;wewillnottalkofthatyet。Only,whatwereyouthinkingofjustnow?“
Isaidfalteringly:“Iwassayingtomyself,Thepast,thepresent?
Shouldshenothavesaidthecontrastofthepresentwiththefuture:
ofblinddespairwithhope?“
“Iknewit,“shesaid。Thenshecaughtmyhandandsaidexcitedly,“Comewhilethereisyettime!Come!“andsheledmeoutoftheroom;
andasweweregoingdownstairsandoutofthehouseintothegardenbyalittlesidedoorwhichopenedoutofacuriouslobby,shesaidinacalmvoice,asifshewishedmetoforgethersuddennervousness:
“Come!weoughttojointheothersbeforetheycomeinherelookingforus。Andletmetellyou,myfriend,thatIcanseeyouaretooapttofallintodreamymusing:nodoubtbecauseyouarenotyetusedtoourlifeofreposeamidstofenergy;ofworkwhichispleasureandpleasurewhichiswork。“
Shepausedalittle,andaswecameoutintothelovelygardenagain,shesaid:“Myfriend,youweresayingthatyouwonderedwhatIshouldhavebeenifIhadlivedinthosepastdaysofturmoilandoppression。
Well,IthinkIhavestudiedthehistoryofthemtoknowprettywell。
Ishouldhavebeenoneofthepoor,formyfatherwhenhewasworkingwasameretillerofthesoil。Well,Icouldnothavebornethat;
thereforemybeautyandclevernessandbrightness“shespokewithnoblushorsimperoffalseshame“wouldhavebeensoldtorichmen,andmylifewouldhavebeenwastedindeed;forIknowenoughofthattoknowthatIshouldhavehadnochoice,nopowerofwillovermylife;
andthatIshouldneverhaveboughtpleasurefromtherichmen,orevenopportunityofaction,wherebyImighthavewonsometrueexcitement。Ishouldhavewreckedandwastedinonewayoranother,eitherbypenuryorbyluxury。Isitnotso?“
“Indeeditis,“saidI。
Shewasgoingtosaysomethingelse,whenalittlegateinthefence,whichledintoasmallelm-shadedfield,wasopened,andDickcamewithhastycheerfulnessupthegardenpath,andwaspresentlystandingbetweenus,ahandlaidontheshoulderofeach。Hesaid:“Well,neighbours,Ithoughtyoutwowouldliketoseetheoldhousequietlywithoutacrowdinit。Isn'titajewelofahouseafteritskind?
Well,comealong,foritisgettingtowardsdinner-time。Perhapsyou,guest,wouldlikeaswimbeforewesitdowntowhatIfancywillbeaprettylongfeast?“
“Yes,“Isaid,“Ishouldlikethat。“
“Well,good-byeforthepresent,neighbourEllen,“saidDick。“HerecomesClaratotakecareofyou,asIfancysheismoreathomeamongstourfriendshere。“
Claracameoutofthefieldsashespoke;andwithonelookatEllenI
turnedandwentwithDick,doubting,ifImustsaythetruthwhetherI
shouldseeheragain。
Chapter32
TheFeast'sBeginning——TheEndDickbroughtmeatonceintothelittlefieldwhich,asIhadseenfromthegarden,wascoveredwithgaily-colouredtentsarrangedinorderlylanes,aboutwhichweresittingandlyinginthegrasssomefiftyorsixtymen,women,andchildren,allofthemintheheightofgoodtemperandenjoyment——withtheirholidaymoodon,sotosay。
“Youarethinkingthatwedon'tmakeagreatshowastonumbers,“saidDick;“butyoumustrememberthatweshallhavemoreto-morrow;
becauseinthishaymakingworkthereisroomforagreatmanypeoplewhoarenotover-skilledincountrymatters:andtherearemanywholeadsedentarylives,whomitwouldbeunkindtodepriveoftheirpleasureinthehay-field——scientificmenandclosestudentsgenerally:sothattheskilledworkmen,outsidethosewhoarewantedasmowers,andforemenofthehaymaking,standaside,andtakealittledownrightrest,whichyouknowisgoodforthem,whethertheylikeitornot:orelsetheygotoothercountrysides,asIamdoinghere。Yousee,thescientificmenandhistorians,andstudentsgenerally,willnotbewantedtillwearefairlyinthemidstoftedding,whichofcoursewillnotbetillthedayafterto-morrow。“
Withthathebroughtmeoutofthelittlefieldontoakindofcausewayabovetheriversidemeadow,andthenceturningtotheleftontoapaththroughthemowinggrass,whichwasthickandverytall,ledontillwecametotheriverabovetheweiranditsmill。Therewehadadelightfulswiminthebroadpieceofwaterabovethelock,wheretheriverlookedmuchbiggerthanitsnaturalsizefromitsbeingdammedupbytheweir。
“Nowweareinafitmoodfordinner,“saidDick,whenwehaddressedandweregoingthroughthegrassagain;“andcertainlyofallthecheerfulmealsintheyear,thisoneofhayselisthecheerfullest;
notevenexceptingthecorn-harvestfeast;forthentheyearisbeginningtofail,andonecannothelphavingafeelingbehindallthegaiety,ofthecomingofthedarkdays,andtheshornfieldsandemptygardens;andthespringisalmosttoofarofftolookforwardto。Itis,then,intheautumn,whenonealmostbelievesindeath。“
“Howstrangelyyoutalk,“saidI,“ofsuchaconstantlyrecurringandconsequentlycommonplacematterasthesequenceoftheseasons。“Andindeedthesepeoplewerelikechildrenaboutsuchthings,andhadwhatseemedtomeaquiteexaggeratedinterestintheweather,afineday,adarknight,orabrilliantone,andthelike。
“Strangely?“saidhe。“Isitstrangetosympathisewiththeyearanditsgainsandlosses?“
“Atanyrate,“saidI,“ifyoulookuponthecourseoftheyearasabeautifulandinterestingdrama,whichiswhatIthinkyoudo,youshouldbeasmuchpleasedandinterestedwiththewinteranditstroubleandpainaswiththiswonderfulsummerluxury。“
“AndamInot?“saidDick,ratherwarmly;“onlyIcan'tlookuponitasifIweresittinginatheatreseeingtheplaygoingonbeforeme,myselftakingnopartofit。Itisdifficult,“saidhe,smilinggood-humouredly,“foranon-literarymanlikemetoexplainmyselfproperly,likethatdeargirlEllenwould;butImeanthatIampartofitall,andfeelthepainwaswellasthepleasureinmyownperson。Itisnotdoneformebysomebodyelse,merelythatImayeatanddrinkandsleep;butImyselfdomyshareofit。“
Inhiswayalso,asElleninhers,IcouldseethatDickhadthatpassionateloveoftheearthwhichwascommontobutfewpeopleatleast,inthedaysIknew;inwhichtheprevailingfeelingamongstintellectualpersonswasakindofsourdistasteforthechangingdramaoftheyear,forthelifeofearthanditsdealingswithmen。
Indeed,inthosedaysitwasthoughtpoeticandimaginativetolookuponlifeasathingtobeborne,ratherthanenjoyed。
SoImusedtillDick'slaughbroughtmebackintotheOxfordshirehay-fields。“Onethingseemsstrangetome,“saidhe——“thatImustneedstroublemyselfaboutthewinteranditsscantiness,inthemidstofthesummerabundance。Ifithadn'thappenedtomebefore,Ishouldhavethoughtitwasyourdoing,guest;thatyouhadthrownakindofevilcharmoverme。Now,youknow,“saidhe,suddenly,“that'sonlyajoke,soyoumustn'ttakeittoheart。“
“Allright,“saidI;“Idon't。“YetIdidfeelsomewhatuneasyathiswords,afterall。
Wecrossedthecausewaythistime,anddidnotturnbacktothehouse,butwentalongapathbesideafieldofwheatnowalmostreadytoblossom。Isaid:“Wedonotdineinthehouseorgarden,then?forI
canseethatthehousesaremostlyverysmall。“
“Yes,“saidDick,“youareright,theyaresmallinthiscountryside:
therearesomanygoodoldhousesleft,thatpeopledwellagooddealinsuchsmalldetachedhouses。Astoourdinner,wearegoingtohaveourfeastinthechurch。Iwish,foryoursake,itwereasbigandhandsomeasthatoftheoldRomantowntothewest,ortheforesttowntothenorth;*but,however,itwillholdusall;andthoughitisalittlething,itisbeautifulinitsway。“
*CirencesterandBurfordhemusthavemeant。
Thiswassomewhatnewtome,thisdinnerinachurch,andIthoughtofthechurch-alesoftheMiddleAges;butIsaidnothing,andpresentlywecameoutintotheroadwhichranthroughthevillage。Dicklookedupanddownit,andseeingonlytwostragglinggroupsbeforeus,said:
“Itseemsasifwemustbesomewhatlate;theyareallgoneon;andtheywillbesuretomakeapointofwaitingforyou,astheguestofguests,sinceyoucomefromsofar。“
Hehastenedashespoke,andIkeptupwithhim,andpresentlywecametoalittleavenueoflime-treeswhichledusstraighttothechurchporch,fromwhoseopendoorcamethesoundofcheerfulvoicesandlaughter,andvariedmerriment。
“Yes,“saidDick,“it'sthecoolestplaceforonething,thishotevening。Comealong;theywillgegladtoseeyou。“
Indeed,inspiteofmybath,Ifelttheweathermoresultryandoppressivethanonanydayofourjourneyyet。
Wewentintothechurch,whichwasasimplelittlebuildingwithonelittleaisledividedfromthenavebythreeroundedarches,achancel,andaratherroomytranseptforsosmallabuilding,thewindowsmostlyofthegracefulOxfordshirefourteenth-centurytype。Therewasnomodernarchitecturaldecorationinit;itlooked,indeed,asifnonehadbeenattemptedsincethePuritanswhitewashedthemediaevalsaintsandhistoriesonthewall。Itwas,however,gailydressedupforthislatter-dayfestival,withfestoonsofflowersfromarchtoarchandgreatpitchersofflowersstandingaboutonthefloor;whileunderthewestwindoehungtwocrossscythes,theirbladespolishedwhite,andgleamingfromoutoftheflowersthatwreathedthem。Butitsbestornamentwasthecrowdofhandsome,happy-lookingmenandwomenthatweresetdowntotable,andwho,withtheirbrightfacesandrichhairovertheirgayholidayraiment,looked,asthePersianpoetputsit,likeabedoftulipsinthesun。Thoughthechurchwasasmallone,therewasplentyofroom;forasmallchurchmakesabiggishhouse;andonthiseveningtherewasnoneedtosetcrosstablesalongthetransepts;thoughdoubtlessthesewouldbewantednextday,whenthelearnedmenofwhomDickhasbeenspeakingshouldbecometotaketheirmorehumblepartinthehaymaking。
Istoodonthethresholdwiththeexpectantsmileonmyfaceofamanwhoisgoingtotakepartinafestivitywhichheisreallypreparedtoenjoy。Dick,standingbyme,waslookingroundthecompanywithanairofproprietorshipinthem,Ithought。OppositemesatClaraandEllen,withDick'splaceopenbetweenthem:theyweresmiling,buttheirbeautifulfaceswereeachturnedtowardstheneighboursoneitherside,whoweretalkingtothem,andtheydidnotseemtoseeme。IturnedtoDick,expectinghimtoleadmeforward,andheturnedhisfacetome;butstrangetosay,thoughitwasassmilingandcheerfulasever,itmadenoresponsetomyglance——nay,heseemedtotakenoheedatallofmypresence,andInoticedthatnoneofthecompanylookedatme。Apangshotthroughme,asofsomedisasterlongexpectedandsuddenlyrealised。Dickmovedonalittlewithoutawordtome。Iwasnotthreeyardsfromthetwowomenwho,thoughtheyhadbeenmycompanionsforsuchashorttime,hadreally,asIthought,becomemyfriends。Clara'sfacewasturnedfulluponmenow,butshealsodidnotseemtoseeme,thoughIknowIwastryingtocatchhereyewithanappealinglook。IturnedtoEllen,andshe_did_seemtorecognisemeforaninstant;butherbrightfaceturnedsaddirectly,andsheshookherheadwithamournfullook,andthenextmomentallconsciousnessofmypresencehadfadedfromherface。
Ifeltlonelyandsickatheartpastthepowerofwordstodescribe。I
hungaboutaminutelonger,andthenturnedandwentoutoftheporchagainandthroughthelime-avenueintotheroadwhileblackbirdssangtheirstrongestfromthebushesaboutmeinthehotJuneevening。
OncemorewithoutanyconsciouseffortofwillIsetmyfacetowardtheoldhousebytheford,butasIturnedroundthecornerwhichledtotheremainsofthevillagecross,Icameuponafigurestrangelycontrastingwiththejoyous,beautifulpeopleIhadleftbehindinthechurch。Itwasamanwholookedold,butwhomIknewfromhabit,nowhalf-forgotten,wasreallynotmuchmorethanfifty。Hisfacewasrugged,andgrimedratherthandirty;hiseyesdullandbleared;hisbodybent,hiscalvesthinandspindly,hisfeetdraggingandlimping。
Hisclothingwasamixtureofdirtandragslongover-familiartome。
AsIpassedhimhetouchedhishatwithsomerealgoodwillandcourtesy,andmuchservility。
Inexpressiblyshocked,Ihurriedpasthimandhastenedalongtheroadthatledtotheriverandthelowerendofthevillage;butsuddenlyI
sawasitwereablackcloudrollingalongtomeetme,likeanightmareofmychildishdays;andforawhileIwasconsciousofnothingelsethanbeinginthedark,andwhetherIwaswalking,orsitting,orlyingdown,Icouldnottell。
IlayinmybedinmyhouseatdingyHammersmiththinkingaboutitall;andtryingtoconsiderifIwasoverwhelmedwithdespairatfindingIhadbeendreamingadream;andstrangetosay,IfoundthatIwasnotsodespairing。
Orindeed_was_itadream?Ifso,whywasIsoconsciousallalongthatIwasreallyseeingallthatnewlifefromtheoutside,stillwrappedupintheprejudices,theanxietiesthedistrustofthistimeofdoubtandstruggle?
Allalong,thoughthosefriendsweresorealtome,IhadbeenfeelingasifIhadnobusinessamongstthem:asthoughthetimewouldcomewhentheywouldrejectme,andsay,asEllen'slastmournfullookseemedtosay,“No,itwillnotdo;youcannotbeofus;youbelongsoentirelytotheunhappinessofthepastthatourhappinessevenwouldwearyyou。Gobackagain,nowyouhaveseenus,andyouroutwardeyeshavelearnedthatinspiteofalltheinfalliblemaximsofyourdaythereisyetatimeofrestinstorefortheworld,whenmasteryhaschangedintofellowship——butnotbefore。Gobackagain,then,andwhileyouliveyouwillseeallroundyoupeopleengagedinmakingothersliveliveswhicharenottheirown,whiletheythemselvescarenothingfortheirownreallives——menwhohatelifethoughtheyfeardeath。Gobackandbethehappierforhavingseenus,forhavingaddedalittlehopetoyourstruggle。Goonlivingwhileyoumay,striving,withwhatsoeverpainandlabourneedsmustbe,tobuilduplittlebylittlethenewdayoffellowship,andrest,andhappiness。“
Yes,surely!andifotherscanseeitasIhaveseenit,thenitmaybecalledavisionratherthanadream。
THEEND