CHAPTERI
ItwasaSundayeveninginOctober,andincommonwithmanyotheryoungladiesofherclass,KatharineHilberywaspouringouttea。
Perhapsafifthpartofhermindwasthusoccupied,andtheremainingpartsleaptoverthelittlebarrierofdaywhichinterposedbetweenMondaymorningandthisrathersubduedmoment,andplayedwiththethingsonedoesvoluntarilyandnormallyinthedaylight。Butalthoughshewassilent,shewasevidentlymistressofasituationwhichwasfamiliarenoughtoher,andinclinedtoletittakeitswayforthesixhundredthtime,perhaps,withoutbringingintoplayanyofherunoccupiedfaculties。AsingleglancewasenoughtoshowthatMrs。
Hilberywassorichinthegiftswhichmaketea-partiesofelderlydistinguishedpeoplesuccessful,thatshescarcelyneededanyhelpfromherdaughter,providedthatthetiresomebusinessofteacupsandbreadandbutterwasdischargedforher。
Consideringthatthelittlepartyhadbeenseatedroundthetea-tableforlessthantwentyminutes,theanimationobservableontheirfaces,andtheamountofsoundtheywereproducingcollectively,wereverycreditabletothehostess。ItsuddenlycameintoKatharine'smindthatifsomeoneopenedthedooratthismomenthewouldthinkthattheywereenjoyingthemselves;hewouldthink,“Whatanextremelynicehousetocomeinto!“andinstinctivelyshelaughed,andsaidsomethingtoincreasethenoise,forthecreditofthehousepresumably,sincesheherselfhadnotbeenfeelingexhilarated。Attheverysamemoment,rathertoheramusement,thedoorwasflungopen,andayoungmanenteredtheroom。Katharine,assheshookhandswithhim,askedhim,inherownmind,“Now,doyouthinkwe'reenjoyingourselvesenormously?“……“Mr。Denham,mother,“shesaidaloud,forshesawthathermotherhadforgottenhisname。
ThatfactwasperceptibletoMr。Denhamalso,andincreasedtheawkwardnesswhichinevitablyattendstheentranceofastrangerintoaroomfullofpeoplemuchattheirease,andalllauncheduponsentences。Atthesametime,itseemedtoMr。Denhamasifathousandsoftlypaddeddoorshadclosedbetweenhimandthestreetoutside。A
finemist,theetherealizedessenceofthefog,hungvisiblyinthewideandratheremptyspaceofthedrawing-room,allsilverwherethecandlesweregroupedonthetea-table,andruddyagaininthefirelight。Withtheomnibusesandcabsstillrunninginhishead,andhisbodystilltinglingwithhisquickwalkalongthestreetsandinandoutoftrafficandfoot-passengers,thisdrawing-roomseemedveryremoteandstill;andthefacesoftheelderlypeopleweremellowed,atsomedistancefromeachother,andhadabloomonthemowingtothefactthattheairinthedrawing-roomwasthickenedbybluegrainsofmist。Mr。DenhamhadcomeinasMr。Fortescue,theeminentnovelist,reachedthemiddleofaverylongsentence。Hekeptthissuspendedwhilethenewcomersatdown,andMrs。Hilberydeftlyjoinedtheseveredpartsbyleaningtowardshimandremarking:
“Now,whatwouldyoudoifyouweremarriedtoanengineer,andhadtoliveinManchester,Mr。Denham?“
“SurelyshecouldlearnPersian,“brokeinathin,elderlygentleman。
“IstherenoretiredschoolmasterormanoflettersinManchesterwithwhomshecouldreadPersian?“
“AcousinofourshasmarriedandgonetoliveinManchester,“
Katharineexplained。Mr。Denhammutteredsomething,whichwasindeedallthatwasrequiredofhim,andthenovelistwentonwherehehadleftoff。Privately,Mr。Denhamcursedhimselfverysharplyforhavingexchangedthefreedomofthestreetforthissophisticateddrawing-
room,where,amongotherdisagreeables,hecertainlywouldnotappearathisbest。Heglancedroundhim,andsawthat,saveforKatharine,theywerealloverforty,theonlyconsolationbeingthatMr。
Fortescuewasaconsiderablecelebrity,sothatto-morrowonemightbegladtohavemethim。
“HaveyoueverbeentoManchester?“heaskedKatharine。
“Never,“shereplied。
“Whydoyouobjecttoit,then?“
Katharinestirredhertea,andseemedtospeculate,soDenhamthought,uponthedutyoffillingsomebodyelse'scup,butshewasreallywonderinghowshewasgoingtokeepthisstrangeyoungmaninharmonywiththerest。Sheobservedthathewascompressinghisteacup,sothattherewasdangerlestthethinchinamightcaveinwards。Shecouldseethathewasnervous;onewouldexpectabonyyoungmanwithhisfaceslightlyreddenedbythewind,andhishairnotaltogethersmooth,tobenervousinsuchaparty。Further,heprobablydislikedthiskindofthing,andhadcomeoutofcuriosity,orbecauseherfatherhadinvitedhim——anyhow,hewouldnotbeeasilycombinedwiththerest。
“IshouldthinktherewouldbenoonetotalktoinManchester,“sherepliedatrandom。Mr。Fortescuehadbeenobservingherforamomentortwo,asnovelistsareinclinedtoobserve,andatthisremarkhesmiled,andmadeitthetextforalittlefurtherspeculation。
“Inspiteofaslighttendencytoexaggeration,Katharinedecidedlyhitsthemark,“hesaid,andlyingbackinhischair,withhisopaquecontemplativeeyesfixedontheceiling,andthetipsofhisfingerspressedtogether,hedepicted,firstthehorrorsofthestreetsofManchester,andthenthebare,immensemoorsontheoutskirtsofthetown,andthenthescrubbylittlehouseinwhichthegirlwouldlive,andthentheprofessorsandthemiserableyoungstudentsdevotedtothemorestrenuousworksofouryoungerdramatists,whowouldvisither,andhowherappearancewouldchangebydegrees,andhowshewouldflytoLondon,andhowKatharinewouldhavetoleadherabout,asoneleadsaneagerdogonachain,pastrowsofclamorousbutchers'shops,poordearcreature。
“Oh,Mr。Fortescue,“exclaimedMrs。Hilbery,ashefinished,“IhadjustwrittentosayhowIenviedher!Iwasthinkingofthebiggardensandthedearoldladiesinmittens,whoreadnothingbutthe“Spectator,“andsnuffthecandles。HavetheyALLdisappeared?ItoldhershewouldfindthenicethingsofLondonwithoutthehorridstreetsthatdepressoneso。“
“ThereistheUniversity,“saidthethingentleman,whohadpreviouslyinsistedupontheexistenceofpeopleknowingPersian。
“Iknowtherearemoorsthere,becauseIreadabouttheminabooktheotherday,“saidKatharine。
“Iamgrievedandamazedattheignoranceofmyfamily,“Mr。Hilberyremarked。Hewasanelderlyman,withapairofoval,hazeleyeswhichwereratherbrightforhistimeoflife,andrelievedtheheavinessofhisface。Heplayedconstantlywithalittlegreenstoneattachedtohiswatch-chain,thusdisplayinglongandverysensitivefingers,andhadahabitofmovinghisheadhitherandthitherveryquicklywithoutalteringthepositionofhislargeandrathercorpulentbody,sothatheseemedtobeprovidinghimselfincessantlywithfoodforamusementandreflectionwiththeleastpossibleexpenditureofenergy。Onemightsupposethathehadpassedthetimeoflifewhenhisambitionswerepersonal,orthathehadgratifiedthemasfarashewaslikelytodo,andnowemployedhisconsiderableacutenessrathertoobserveandreflectthantoattainanyresult。
Katharine,soDenhamdecided,whileMr。Fortescuebuiltupanotherroundedstructureofwords,hadalikenesstoeachofherparents,buttheseelementswereratheroddlyblended。Shehadthequick,impulsivemovementsofhermother,thelipspartingoftentospeak,andclosingagain;andthedarkovaleyesofherfatherbrimmingwithlightuponabasisofsadness,or,sinceshewastooyoungtohaveacquiredasorrowfulpointofview,onemightsaythatthebasiswasnotsadnesssomuchasaspiritgiventocontemplationandself-control。Judgingbyherhair,hercoloring,andtheshapeofherfeatures,shewasstriking,ifnotactuallybeautiful。Decisionandcomposurestampedher,acombinationofqualitiesthatproducedaverymarkedcharacter,andonethatwasnotcalculatedtoputayoungman,whoscarcelyknewher,athisease。Fortherest,shewastall;herdresswasofsomequietcolor,witholdyellow-tintedlaceforornament,towhichthesparkofanancientjewelgaveitsoneredgleam。Denhamnoticedthat,althoughsilent,shekeptsufficientcontrolofthesituationtoanswerimmediatelyhermotherappealedtoherforhelp,andyetitwasobvioustohimthatsheattendedonlywiththesurfaceskinofhermind。Itstruckhimthatherpositionatthetea-table,amongalltheseelderlypeople,wasnotwithoutitsdifficulties,andhecheckedhisinclinationtofindher,orherattitude,generallyantipathetictohim。ThetalkhadpassedoverManchester,afterdealingwithitverygenerously。
“WoulditbetheBattleofTrafalgarortheSpanishArmada,Katharine?“hermotherdemanded。
“Trafalgar,mother。“
“Trafalgar,ofcourse!Howstupidofme!Anothercupoftea,withathinsliceoflemoninit,andthen,dearMr。Fortescue,pleaseexplainmyabsurdlittlepuzzle。Onecan'thelpbelievinggentlemenwithRomannoses,evenifonemeetstheminomnibuses。“
Mr。HilberyhereinterposedsofarasDenhamwasconcerned,andtalkedagreatdealofsenseaboutthesolicitors'profession,andthechangeswhichhehadseeninhislifetime。Indeed,Denhamproperlyfelltohislot,owingtothefactthatanarticlebyDenhamuponsomelegalmatter,publishedbyMr。HilberyinhisReview,hadbroughtthemacquainted。ButwhenamomentlaterMrs。SuttonBaileywasannounced,heturnedtoher,andMr。Denhamfoundhimselfsittingsilent,rejectingpossiblethingstosay,besideKatharine,whowassilenttoo。Beingmuchaboutthesameageandbothunderthirty,theywereprohibitedfromtheuseofagreatmanyconvenientphraseswhichlaunchconversationintosmoothwaters。TheywerefurthersilencedbyKatharine'srathermaliciousdeterminationnottohelpthisyoungman,inwhoseuprightandresolutebearingshedetectedsomethinghostiletohersurroundings,byanyoftheusualfeminineamenities。Theythereforesatsilent,Denhamcontrollinghisdesiretosaysomethingabruptandexplosive,whichshouldshockherintolife。ButMrs。
Hilberywasimmediatelysensitivetoanysilenceinthedrawing-room,asofadumbnoteinasonorousscale,andleaningacrossthetablesheobserved,inthecuriouslytentativedetachedmannerwhichalwaysgaveherphrasesthelikenessofbutterfliesflauntingfromonesunnyspottoanother,“D'youknow,Mr。Denham,youremindmesomuchofdearMr。Ruskin……Isithistie,Katharine,orhishair,orthewayhesitsinhischair?Dotellme,Mr。Denham,areyouanadmirerofRuskin?Someone,theotherday,saidtome,'Oh,no,wedon'treadRuskin,Mrs。Hilbery。'WhatDOyouread,Iwonder?——foryoucan'tspendallyourtimegoingupinaeroplanesandburrowingintothebowelsoftheearth。“
ShelookedbenevolentlyatDenham,whosaidnothingarticulate,andthenatKatharine,whosmiledbutsaidnothingeither,uponwhichMrs。
Hilberyseemedpossessedbyabrilliantidea,andexclaimed:
“I'msureMr。Denhamwouldliketoseeourthings,Katharine。I'msurehe'snotlikethatdreadfulyoungman,Mr。Ponting,whotoldmethatheconsidereditourdutytoliveexclusivelyinthepresent。Afterall,whatISthepresent?Halfofit'sthepast,andthebetterhalf,too,Ishouldsay,“sheadded,turningtoMr。Fortescue。
Denhamrose,halfmeaningtogo,andthinkingthathehadseenallthattherewastosee,butKatharineroseatthesamemoment,andsaying,“Perhapsyouwouldliketoseethepictures,“ledthewayacrossthedrawing-roomtoasmallerroomopeningoutofit。
Thesmallerroomwassomethinglikeachapelinacathedral,oragrottoinacave,fortheboomingsoundofthetrafficinthedistancesuggestedthesoftsurgeofwaters,andtheovalmirrors,withtheirsilversurface,werelikedeeppoolstremblingbeneathstarlight。Butthecomparisontoareligioustempleofsomekindwasthemoreaptofthetwo,forthelittleroomwascrowdedwithrelics。
AsKatharinetoucheddifferentspots,lightsspranghereandthere,andrevealedasquaremassofred-and-goldbooks,andthenalongskirtinblue-and-whitepaintlustrousbehindglass,andthenamahoganywriting-table,withitsorderlyequipment,and,finally,apictureabovethetable,towhichspecialilluminationwasaccorded。
WhenKatharinehadtouchedtheselastlights,shestoodback,asmuchastosay,“There!“Denhamfoundhimselflookeddownuponbytheeyesofthegreatpoet,RichardAlardyce,andsufferedalittleshockwhichwouldhaveledhim,hadhebeenwearingahat,toremoveit。Theeyeslookedathimoutofthemellowpinksandyellowsofthepaintwithdivinefriendliness,whichembracedhim,andpassedontocontemplatetheentireworld。Thepainthadsofadedthatverylittlebutthebeautifullargeeyeswereleft,darkinthesurroundingdimness。
Katharinewaitedasthoughforhimtoreceiveafullimpression,andthenshesaid:
“Thisishiswriting-table。Heusedthispen,“andsheliftedaquillpenandlaiditdownagain。Thewriting-tablewassplashedwitholdink,andthependisheveledinservice。Therelaythegiganticgold-
rimmedspectacles,readytohishand,andbeneaththetablewasapairoflarge,wornslippers,oneofwhichKatharinepickedup,remarking:
“Ithinkmygrandfathermusthavebeenatleasttwiceaslargeasanyoneisnowadays。This,“shewenton,asifsheknewwhatshehadtosaybyheart,“istheoriginalmanuscriptofthe'OdetoWinter。'Theearlypoemsarefarlesscorrectedthanthelater。Wouldyouliketolookatit?“
WhileMr。Denhamexaminedthemanuscript,sheglancedupathergrandfather,and,forthethousandthtime,fellintoapleasantdreamystateinwhichsheseemedtobethecompanionofthosegiantmen,oftheirownlineage,atanyrate,andtheinsignificantpresentmomentwasputtoshame。Thatmagnificentghostlyheadonthecanvas,surely,neverbeheldallthetrivialitiesofaSundayafternoon,anditdidnotseemtomatterwhatsheandthisyoungmansaidtoeachother,fortheywereonlysmallpeople。
“Thisisacopyofthefirsteditionofthepoems,“shecontinued,withoutconsideringthefactthatMr。Denhamwasstilloccupiedwiththemanuscript,“whichcontainsseveralpoemsthathavenotbeenreprinted,aswellascorrections。“Shepausedforaminute,andthenwenton,asifthesespaceshadallbeencalculated。
“Thatladyinblueismygreat-grandmother,byMillington。Hereismyuncle'swalking-stick——hewasSirRichardWarburton,youknow,androdewithHavelocktotheReliefofLucknow。Andthen,letmesee——oh,that'stheoriginalAlardyce,1697,thefounderofthefamilyfortunes,withhiswife。Someonegaveusthisbowltheotherdaybecauseithastheircrestandinitials。Wethinkitmusthavebeengiventhemtocelebratetheirsilverwedding-day。“
Hereshestoppedforamoment,wonderingwhyitwasthatMr。Denhamsaidnothing。Herfeelingthathewasantagonistictoher,whichhadlapsedwhileshethoughtofherfamilypossessions,returnedsokeenlythatshestoppedinthemiddleofhercatalogandlookedathim。Hermother,wishingtoconnecthimreputablywiththegreatdead,hadcomparedhimwithMr。Ruskin;andthecomparisonwasinKatharine'smind,andledhertobemorecriticaloftheyoungmanthanwasfair,forayoungmanpayingacallinatail-coatisinadifferentelementaltogetherfromaheadseizedatitsclimaxofexpressiveness,gazingimmutablyfrombehindasheetofglass,whichwasallthatremainedtoherofMr。Ruskin。Hehadasingularface——afacebuiltforswiftnessanddecisionratherthanformassivecontemplation;theforeheadbroad,thenoselongandformidable,thelipsclean-shavenandatoncedoggedandsensitive,thecheekslean,withadeeplyrunningtideofredbloodinthem。Hiseyes,expressivenowoftheusualmasculineimpersonalityandauthority,mightrevealmoresubtleemotionsunderfavorablecircumstances,fortheywerelarge,andofaclear,browncolor;theyseemedunexpectedlytohesitateandspeculate;butKatharineonlylookedathimtowonderwhetherhisfacewouldnothavecomenearerthestandardofherdeadheroesifithadbeenadornedwithside-whiskers。Inhissparebuildandthin,thoughhealthy,cheeks,shesawtokensofanangularandacridsoul。Hisvoice,shenoticed,hadaslightvibratingorcreakingsoundinit,ashelaiddownthemanuscriptandsaid:
“Youmustbeveryproudofyourfamily,MissHilbery。“
“Yes,Iam,“Katharineanswered,andsheadded,“Doyouthinkthere'sanythingwronginthat?“
“Wrong?Howshoulditbewrong?Itmustbeabore,though,showingyourthingstovisitors,“headdedreflectively。
“Notifthevisitorslikethem。“
“Isn'titdifficulttoliveuptoyourancestors?“heproceeded。
“IdaresayIshouldn'ttrytowritepoetry,“Katharinereplied。
“No。Andthat'swhatIshouldhate。Icouldn'tbearmygrandfathertocutmeout。And,afterall,“Denhamwenton,glancingroundhimsatirically,asKatharinethought,“it'snotyourgrandfatheronly。
You'recutoutallthewayround。IsupposeyoucomeofoneofthemostdistinguishedfamiliesinEngland。TherearetheWarburtonsandtheMannings——andyou'rerelatedtotheOtways,aren'tyou?Ireaditallinsomemagazine,“headded。
“TheOtwaysaremycousins,“Katharinereplied。
“Well,“saidDenham,inafinaltoneofvoice,asifhisargumentwereproved。
“Well,“saidKatharine,“Idon'tseethatyou'veprovedanything。“
Denhamsmiled,inapeculiarlyprovokingway。Hewasamusedandgratifiedtofindthathehadthepowertoannoyhisoblivious,supercilioushostess,ifhecouldnotimpressher;thoughhewouldhavepreferredtoimpressher。
Hesatsilent,holdingthepreciouslittlebookofpoemsunopenedinhishands,andKatharinewatchedhim,themelancholyorcontemplativeexpressiondeepeninginhereyesasherannoyancefaded。Sheappearedtobeconsideringmanythings。Shehadforgottenherduties。
“Well,“saidDenhamagain,suddenlyopeningthelittlebookofpoems,asthoughhehadsaidallthathemeanttosayorcould,withpropriety,say。Heturnedoverthepageswithgreatdecision,asifhewerejudgingthebookinitsentirety,theprintingandpaperandbinding,aswellasthepoetry,andthen,havingsatisfiedhimselfofitsgoodorbadquality,heplaceditonthewriting-table,andexaminedthemalaccacanewiththegoldknobwhichhadbelongedtothesoldier。
“Butaren'tyouproudofyourfamily?“Katharinedemanded。
“No,“saidDenham。“We'veneverdoneanythingtobeproudof——unlessyoucountpayingone'sbillsamatterforpride。“
“Thatsoundsratherdull,“Katharineremarked。
“Youwouldthinkushorriblydull,“Denhamagreed。
“Yes,Imightfindyoudull,butIdon'tthinkIshouldfindyouridiculous,“Katharineadded,asifDenhamhadactuallybroughtthatchargeagainstherfamily。
“No——becausewe'renotintheleastridiculous。We'rearespectablemiddle-classfamily,livingatHighgate。“
“Wedon'tliveatHighgate,butwe'remiddleclasstoo,Isuppose。“
Denhammerelysmiled,andreplacingthemalaccacaneontherack,hedrewaswordfromitsornamentalsheath。
“ThatbelongedtoClive,sowesay,“saidKatharine,takingupherdutiesashostessagainautomatically。
“Isitalie?“Denhaminquired。
“It'safamilytradition。Idon'tknowthatwecanproveit。“
“Yousee,wedon'thavetraditionsinourfamily,“saidDenham。
“Yousoundverydull,“Katharineremarked,forthesecondtime。
“Merelymiddleclass,“Denhamreplied。
“Youpayyourbills,andyouspeakthetruth。Idon'tseewhyyoushoulddespiseus。“
Mr。DenhamcarefullysheathedtheswordwhichtheHilberyssaidbelongedtoClive。
“Ishouldn'tliketobeyou;that'sallIsaid,“hereplied,asifheweresayingwhathethoughtasaccuratelyashecould。
“No,butoneneverwouldliketobeanyoneelse。“
“Ishould。Ishouldliketobelotsofotherpeople。“
“Thenwhynotus?“Katharineasked。
Denhamlookedatherasshesatinhergrandfather'sarm-chair,drawinghergreat-uncle'smalaccacanesmoothlythroughherfingers,whileherbackgroundwasmadeupequallyoflustrousblue-and-whitepaint,andcrimsonbookswithgiltlinesonthem。Thevitalityandcomposureofherattitude,asofabright-plumedbirdpoisedeasilybeforefurtherflights,rousedhimtoshowherthelimitationsofherlot。Sosoon,soeasily,wouldhebeforgotten。
“You'llneverknowanythingatfirsthand,“hebegan,almostsavagely。
“It'sallbeendoneforyou。You'llneverknowthepleasureofbuyingthingsaftersavingupforthem,orreadingbooksforthefirsttime,ormakingdiscoveries。“
“Goon,“Katharineobserved,ashepaused,suddenlydoubtful,whenheheardhisvoiceproclaimingaloudthesefacts,whethertherewasanytruthinthem。
“Ofcourse,Idon'tknowhowyouspendyourtime,“hecontinued,alittlestiffly,“butIsupposeyouhavetoshowpeopleround。Youarewritingalifeofyourgrandfather,aren'tyou?Andthiskindofthing“——henoddedtowardstheotherroom,wheretheycouldhearburstsofcultivatedlaughter——“musttakeupalotoftime。“
Shelookedathimexpectantly,asifbetweenthemtheyweredecoratingasmallfigureofherself,andshesawhimhesitatinginthedispositionofsomeboworsash。
“You'vegotitverynearlyright,“shesaid,“butIonlyhelpmymother。Idon'twritemyself。“
“Doyoudoanythingyourself?“hedemanded。
“Whatdoyoumean?“sheasked。“Idon'tleavethehouseattenandcomebackatsix。“
“Idon'tmeanthat。“
Mr。Denhamhadrecoveredhisself-control;hespokewithaquietnesswhichmadeKatharineratheranxiousthatheshouldexplainhimself,butatthesametimeshewishedtoannoyhim,towafthimawayfromheronsomelightcurrentofridiculeorsatire,asshewaswonttodowiththeseintermittentyoungmenofherfather's。
“Nobodyeverdoesdoanythingworthdoingnowadays,“sheremarked。
“Yousee“——shetappedthevolumeofhergrandfather'spoems——“wedon'tevenprintaswellastheydid,andasforpoetsorpaintersornovelists——therearenone;so,atanyrate,I'mnotsingular。“
“No,wehaven'tanygreatmen,“Denhamreplied。“I'mverygladthatwehaven't。Ihategreatmen。Theworshipofgreatnessinthenineteenthcenturyseemstometoexplaintheworthlessnessofthatgeneration。“
Katharineopenedherlipsanddrewinherbreath,asiftoreplywithequalvigor,whentheshuttingofadoorinthenextroomwithdrewherattention,andtheybothbecameconsciousthatthevoices,whichhadbeenrisingandfallingroundthetea-table,hadfallensilent;thelight,even,seemedtohavesunklower。AmomentlaterMrs。Hilberyappearedinthedoorwayoftheante-room。Shestoodlookingatthemwithasmileofexpectancyonherface,asifascenefromthedramaoftheyoungergenerationwerebeingplayedforherbenefit。Shewasaremarkable-lookingwoman,welladvancedinthesixties,butowingtothelightnessofherframeandthebrightnessofhereyessheseemedtohavebeenwaftedoverthesurfaceoftheyearswithouttakingmuchharminthepassage。Herfacewasshrunkenandaquiline,butanyhintofsharpnesswasdispelledbythelargeblueeyes,atoncesagaciousandinnocent,whichseemedtoregardtheworldwithanenormousdesirethatitshouldbehaveitselfnobly,andanentireconfidencethatitcoulddoso,ifitwouldonlytakethepains。
Certainlinesonthebroadforeheadandaboutthelipsmightbetakentosuggestthatshehadknownmomentsofsomedifficultyandperplexityinthecourseofhercareer,butthesehadnotdestroyedhertrustfulness,andshewasclearlystillpreparedtogiveeveryoneanynumberoffreshchancesandthewholesystemthebenefitofthedoubt。Sheworeagreatresemblancetoherfather,andsuggested,ashedid,thefreshairsandopenspacesofayoungerworld。
“Well,“shesaid,“howdoyoulikeourthings,Mr。Denham?“
Mr。Denhamrose,puthisbookdown,openedhismouth,butsaidnothing,asKatharineobserved,withsomeamusement。
Mrs。Hilberyhandledthebookhehadlaiddown。
“TherearesomebooksthatLIVE,“shemused。“Theyareyoungwithus,andtheygrowoldwithus。Areyoufondofpoetry,Mr。Denham?Butwhatanabsurdquestiontoask!Thetruthis,dearMr。Fortescuehasalmosttiredmeout。Heissoeloquentandsowitty,sosearchingandsoprofoundthat,afterhalfanhourorso,Ifeelinclinedtoturnoutallthelights。Butperhapshe'dbemorewonderfulthaneverinthedark。Whatd'youthink,Katharine?Shallwegivealittlepartyincompletedarkness?There'dhavetobebrightroomsforthebores……“
HereMr。Denhamheldouthishand。
“Butwe'veanynumberofthingstoshowyou!“Mrs。Hilberyexclaimed,takingnonoticeofit。“Books,pictures,china,manuscripts,andtheverychairthatMaryQueenofScotssatinwhensheheardofDarnley'smurder。Imustliedownforalittle,andKatharinemustchangeherdressthoughshe'swearingaveryprettyone,butifyoudon'tmindbeingleftalone,supperwillbeateight。Idaresayyou'llwriteapoemofyourownwhileyou'rewaiting。Ah,howIlovethefirelight!
Doesn'tourroomlookcharming?“
Shesteppedbackandbadethemcontemplatetheemptydrawing-room,withitsrich,irregularlights,astheflamesleaptandwavered。
“Dearthings!“sheexclaimed。“Dearchairsandtables!Howlikeoldfriendstheyare——faithful,silentfriends。Whichremindsme,Katharine,littleMr。Anningiscomingto-night,andTiteStreet,andCadoganSquare……Doremembertogetthatdrawingofyourgreat-
uncleglazed。AuntMillicentremarkeditlasttimeshewashere,andI
knowhowitwouldhurtmetoseeMYfatherinabrokenglass。“
Itwasliketearingthroughamazeofdiamond-glitteringspiders'webstosaygood-byeandescape,forateachmovementMrs。Hilberyrememberedsomethingfurtheraboutthevillainiesofpicture-framersorthedelightsofpoetry,andatonetimeitseemedtotheyoungmanthathewouldbehypnotizedintodoingwhatshepretendedtowanthimtodo,forhecouldnotsupposethatsheattachedanyvaluewhatevertohispresence。Katharine,however,madeanopportunityforhimtoleave,andforthathewasgratefultoher,asoneyoungpersonisgratefulfortheunderstandingofanother。
CHAPTERII
Theyoungmanshutthedoorwithasharperslamthananyvisitorhadusedthatafternoon,andwalkedupthestreetatagreatpace,cuttingtheairwithhiswalking-stick。Hewasgladtofindhimselfoutsidethatdrawing-room,breathingrawfog,andincontactwithunpolishedpeoplewhoonlywantedtheirshareofthepavementallowedthem。HethoughtthatifhehadhadMr。orMrs。orMissHilberyoutherehewouldhavemadethem,somehow,feelhissuperiority,forhewaschafedbythememoryofhaltingawkwardsentenceswhichhadfailedtogiveeventheyoungwomanwiththesad,butinwardlyironicaleyesahintofhisforce。Hetriedtorecalltheactualwordsofhislittleoutburst,andunconsciouslysupplementedthembysomanywordsofgreaterexpressivenessthattheirritationofhisfailurewassomewhatassuaged。Suddenstabsoftheunmitigatedtruthassailedhimnowandthen,forhewasnotinclinedbynaturetotakearosyviewofhisconduct,butwhatwiththebeatofhisfootuponthepavement,andtheglimpsewhichhalf-drawncurtainsofferedhimofkitchens,dining-
rooms,anddrawing-rooms,illustratingwithmutepowerdifferentscenesfromdifferentlives,hisownexperiencelostitssharpness。
Hisownexperienceunderwentacuriouschange。Hisspeedslackened,hisheadsankalittletowardshisbreast,andthelamplightshonenowandagainuponafacegrownstrangelytranquil。Histhoughtwassoabsorbingthatwhenitbecamenecessarytoverifythenameofastreet,helookedatitforatimebeforehereadit;whenhecametoacrossing,heseemedtohavetoreassurehimselfbytwoorthreetaps,suchasablindmangives,uponthecurb;and,reachingtheUndergroundstation,heblinkedinthebrightcircleoflight,glancedathiswatch,decidedthathemightstillindulgehimselfindarkness,andwalkedstraighton。
Andyetthethoughtwasthethoughtwithwhichhehadstarted。Hewasstillthinkingaboutthepeopleinthehousewhichhehadleft;butinsteadofremembering,withwhateveraccuracyhecould,theirlooksandsayings,hehadconsciouslytakenleaveoftheliteraltruth。A
turnofthestreet,afirelitroom,somethingmonumentalintheprocessionofthelamp-posts,whoshallsaywhataccidentoflightorshapehadsuddenlychangedtheprospectwithinhismind,andledhimtomurmuraloud:
“She'lldo……Yes,KatharineHilbery'lldo……I'lltakeKatharineHilbery。“
Assoonashehadsaidthis,hispaceslackened,hisheadfell,hiseyesbecamefixed。Thedesiretojustifyhimself,whichhadbeensourgent,ceasedtotormenthim,and,asifreleasedfromconstraint,sothattheyworkedwithoutfrictionorbidding,hisfacultiesleaptforwardandfixed,asamatterofcourse,upontheformofKatharineHilbery。Itwasmarvelloushowmuchtheyfoundtofeedupon,consideringthedestructivenatureofDenham'scriticisminherpresence。Thecharm,whichhehadtriedtodisown,whenundertheeffectofit,thebeauty,thecharacter,thealoofness,whichhehadbeendeterminednottofeel,nowpossessedhimwholly;andwhen,ashappenedbythenatureofthings,hehadexhaustedhismemory,hewentonwithhisimagination。Hewasconsciousofwhathewasabout,forinthusdwellinguponMissHilbery'squalities,heshowedakindofmethod,asifherequiredthisvisionofherforaparticularpurpose。
Heincreasedherheight,hedarkenedherhair;butphysicallytherewasnotmuchtochangeinher。Hismostdaringlibertywastakenwithhermind,which,forreasonsofhisown,hedesiredtobeexaltedandinfallible,andofsuchindependencethatitwasonlyinthecaseofRalphDenhamthatitswervedfromitshigh,swiftflight,butwherehewasconcerned,thoughfastidiousatfirst,shefinallyswoopedfromhereminencetocrownhimwithherapproval。Thesedeliciousdetails,however,weretobeworkedoutinalltheirramificationsathisleisure;themainpointwasthatKatharineHilberywoulddo;shewoulddoforweeks,perhapsformonths。Intakingherhehadprovidedhimselfwithsomethingthelackofwhichhadleftabareplaceinhismindforaconsiderabletime。Hegaveasighofsatisfaction;hisconsciousnessofhisactualpositionsomewhereintheneighborhoodofKnightsbridgereturnedtohim,andhewassoonspeedinginthetraintowardsHighgate。
Althoughthussupportedbytheknowledgeofhisnewpossessionofconsiderablevalue,hewasnotproofagainstthefamiliarthoughtswhichthesuburbanstreetsandthedampshrubsgrowinginfrontgardensandtheabsurdnamespaintedinwhiteuponthegatesofthosegardenssuggestedtohim。Hiswalkwasuphill,andhisminddweltgloomilyuponthehousewhichheapproached,wherehewouldfindsixorsevenbrothersandsisters,awidowedmother,and,probably,someauntorunclesittingdowntoanunpleasantmealunderaverybrightlight。Shouldheputinforcethethreatwhich,twoweeksago,somesuchgatheringhadwrungfromhim——theterriblethreatthatifvisitorscameonSundayheshoulddinealoneinhisroom?AglanceinthedirectionofMissHilberydeterminedhimtomakehisstandthisverynight,andaccordingly,havinglethimselfin,havingverifiedthepresenceofUncleJosephbymeansofabowlerhatandaverylargeumbrella,hegavehisorderstothemaid,andwentupstairstohisroom。
Hewentupagreatmanyflightsofstairs,andhenoticed,ashehadveryseldomnoticed,howthecarpetbecamesteadilyshabbier,untilitceasedaltogether,howthewallswerediscolored,sometimesbycascadesofdamp,andsometimesbytheoutlinesofpicture-framessinceremoved,howthepaperflappedlooseatthecorners,andagreatflakeofplasterhadfallenfromtheceiling。Theroomitselfwasacheerlessonetoreturntoatthisinauspicioushour。Aflattenedsofawould,laterintheevening,becomeabed;oneofthetablesconcealedawashingapparatus;hisclothesandbootsweredisagreeablymixedwithbookswhichborethegiltofcollegearms;and,fordecoration,therehunguponthewallphotographsofbridgesandcathedralsandlarge,unprepossessinggroupsofinsufficientlyclothedyoungmen,sittinginrowsoneaboveanotheruponstonesteps。Therewasalookofmeannessandshabbinessinthefurnitureandcurtains,andnowhereanysignofluxuryorevenofacultivatedtaste,unlessthecheapclassicsinthebook-casewereasignofaneffortinthatdirection。
Theonlyobjectthatthrewanylightuponthecharacteroftheroom'sownerwasalargeperch,placedinthewindowtocatchtheairandsun,uponwhichatameand,apparently,decrepitrookhoppeddrylyfromsidetoside。Thebird,encouragedbyascratchbehindtheear,settleduponDenham'sshoulder。Helithisgas-fireandsettleddowningloomypatiencetoawaithisdinner。Aftersittingthusforsomeminutesasmallgirlpoppedherheadintosay,“Mothersays,aren'tyoucomingdown,Ralph?UncleJoseph——“
“They'retobringmydinneruphere,“saidRalph,peremptorily;
whereuponshevanished,leavingthedoorajarinherhastetobegone。
AfterDenhamhadwaitedsomeminutes,inthecourseofwhichneitherhenortherooktooktheireyesoffthefire,hemutteredacurse,randownstairs,interceptedtheparlor-maid,andcuthimselfasliceofbreadandcoldmeat。Ashedidso,thedining-roomdoorsprangopen,avoiceexclaimed“Ralph!“butRalphpaidnoattentiontothevoice,andmadeoffupstairswithhisplate。Hesetitdowninachairoppositehim,andatewithaferocitythatwasduepartlytoangerandpartlytohunger。Hismother,then,wasdeterminednottorespecthiswishes;
hewasapersonofnoimportanceinhisownfamily;hewassentforandtreatedasachild。Hereflected,withagrowingsenseofinjury,thatalmosteveryoneofhisactionssinceopeningthedoorofhisroomhadbeenwonfromthegraspofthefamilysystem。Byrights,heshouldhavebeensittingdownstairsinthedrawing-roomdescribinghisafternoon'sadventures,orlisteningtotheafternoon'sadventuresofotherpeople;theroomitself,thegas-fire,thearm-chair——allhadbeenfoughtfor;thewretchedbird,withhalfitsfeathersoutandoneleglamedbyacat,hadbeenrescuedunderprotest;butwhathisfamilymostresented,hereflected,washiswishforprivacy。Todinealone,ortositaloneafterdinner,wasflatrebellion,tobefoughtwitheveryweaponofunderhandstealthorofopenappeal。Whichdidhedislikemost——deceptionortears?But,atanyrate,theycouldnotrobhimofhisthoughts;theycouldnotmakehimsaywherehehadbeenorwhomhehadseen。Thatwashisownaffair;that,indeed,wasastepentirelyintherightdirection,and,lightinghispipe,andcuttinguptheremainsofhismealforthebenefitoftherook,Ralphcalmedhisratherexcessiveirritationandsettleddowntothinkoverhisprospects。
Thisparticularafternoonwasastepintherightdirection,becauseitwaspartofhisplantogettoknowpeoplebeyondthefamilycircuit,justasitwaspartofhisplantolearnGermanthisautumn,andtoreviewlegalbooksforMr。Hilbery's“CriticalReview。“Hehadalwaysmadeplanssincehewasasmallboy;forpoverty,andthefactthathewastheeldestsonofalargefamily,hadgivenhimthehabitofthinkingofspringandsummer,autumnandwinter,assomanystagesinaprolongedcampaign。Althoughhewasstillunderthirty,thisforecastinghabithadmarkedtwosemicircularlinesabovehiseyebrows,whichthreatened,atthismoment,tocreaseintotheirwontedshapes。Butinsteadofsettlingdowntothink,herose,tookasmallpieceofcardboardmarkedinlargeletterswiththewordOUT,andhungituponthehandleofhisdoor。Thisdone,hesharpenedapencil,litareading-lampandopenedhisbook。Butstillhehesitatedtotakehisseat。Hescratchedtherook,hewalkedtothewindow;hepartedthecurtains,andlookeddownuponthecitywhichlay,hazilyluminous,beneathhim。HelookedacrossthevaporsinthedirectionofChelsea;lookedfixedlyforamoment,andthenreturnedtohischair。
Butthewholethicknessofsomelearnedcounsel'streatiseuponTortsdidnotscreenhimsatisfactorily。Throughthepageshesawadrawing-
room,veryemptyandspacious;heheardlowvoices,hesawwomen'sfigures,hecouldevensmellthescentofthecedarlogwhichflamedinthegrate。Hismindrelaxeditstension,andseemedtobegivingoutnowwhatithadtakeninunconsciouslyatthetime。HecouldrememberMr。Fortescue'sexactwords,andtherollingemphasiswithwhichhedeliveredthem,andhebegantorepeatwhatMr。Fortescuehadsaid,inMr。Fortescue'sownmanner,aboutManchester。Hismindthenbegantowanderaboutthehouse,andhewonderedwhethertherewereotherroomslikethedrawing-room,andhethought,inconsequently,howbeautifulthebathroommustbe,andhowleisurelyitwas——thelifeofthesewell-keptpeople,whowere,nodoubt,stillsittinginthesameroom,onlytheyhadchangedtheirclothes,andlittleMr。Anningwasthere,andtheauntwhowouldmindiftheglassofherfather'spicturewasbroken。MissHilberyhadchangedherdress“althoughshe'swearingsuchaprettyone,“heheardhermothersay,andshewastalkingtoMr。Anning,whowaswelloverforty,andbaldintothebargain,aboutbooks。Howpeacefulandspaciousitwas;andthepeacepossessedhimsocompletelythathismusclesslackened,hisbookdroopedfromhishand,andheforgotthatthehourofworkwaswastingminutebyminute。
Hewasrousedbyacreakuponthestair。Withaguiltystarthecomposedhimself,frownedandlookedintentlyatthefifty-sixthpageofhisvolume。Asteppausedoutsidehisdoor,andheknewthattheperson,whoeveritmightbe,wasconsideringtheplacard,anddebatingwhethertohonoritsdecreeornot。Certainly,policyadvisedhimtositstillinautocraticsilence,fornocustomcantakerootinafamilyunlesseverybreachofitispunishedseverelyforthefirstsixmonthsorso。ButRalphwasconsciousofadistinctwishtobeinterrupted,andhisdisappointmentwasperceptiblewhenheheardthecreakingsoundratherfartherdownthestairs,asifhisvisitorhaddecidedtowithdraw。Herose,openedthedoorwithunnecessaryabruptness,andwaitedonthelanding。Thepersonstoppedsimultaneouslyhalfaflightdownstairs。
“Ralph?“saidavoice,inquiringly。
“Joan?“
“Iwascomingup,butIsawyournotice。“
“Well,comealongin,then。“Heconcealedhisdesirebeneathatoneasgrudgingashecouldmakeit。
Joancamein,butshewascarefultoshow,bystandinguprightwithonehanduponthemantelpiece,thatshewasonlythereforadefinitepurpose,whichdischarged,shewouldgo。
ShewasolderthanRalphbysomethreeorfouryears。Herfacewasroundbutworn,andexpressedthattolerantbutanxiousgoodhumorwhichisthespecialattributeofeldersistersinlargefamilies。HerpleasantbrowneyesresembledRalph's,saveinexpression,forwhereasheseemedtolookstraightlyandkeenlyatoneobject,sheappearedtobeinthehabitofconsideringeverythingfrommanydifferentpointsofview。Thismadeherappearhiselderbymoreyearsthanexistedinfactbetweenthem。Hergazerestedforamomentortwoupontherook。
Shethensaid,withoutanypreface:
“It'saboutCharlesandUncleJohn'soffer……Mother'sbeentalkingtome。Shesaysshecan'taffordtopayforhimafterthisterm。Shesaysshe'llhavetoaskforanoverdraftasitis。“
“That'ssimplynottrue,“saidRalph。
“No。Ithoughtnot。Butshewon'tbelievemewhenIsayit。“
Ralph,asifhecouldforeseethelengthofthisfamiliarargument,drewupachairforhissisterandsatdownhimself。
“I'mnotinterrupting?“sheinquired。
Ralphshookhishead,andforatimetheysatsilent。Thelinescurvedthemselvesinsemicirclesabovetheireyes。
“Shedoesn'tunderstandthatone'sgottotakerisks,“heobserved,finally。
“IbelievemotherwouldtakerisksifsheknewthatCharleswasthesortofboytoprofitbyit。“
“He'sgotbrains,hasn'the?“saidRalph。Histonehadtakenonthatshadeofpugnacitywhichsuggestedtohissisterthatsomepersonalgrievancedrovehimtotakethelinehedid。Shewonderedwhatitmightbe,butatoncerecalledhermind,andassented。
“Insomewayshe'sfearfullybackward,though,comparedwithwhatyouwereathisage。Andhe'sdifficultathome,too。HemakesMollyslaveforhim。“
Ralphmadeasoundwhichbelittledthisparticularargument。ItwasplaintoJoanthatshehadstruckoneofherbrother'sperversemoods,andhewasgoingtoopposewhateverhismothersaid。Hecalledher“she,“whichwasaproofofit。Shesighedinvoluntarily,andthesighannoyedRalph,andheexclaimedwithirritation:
“It'sprettyhardlinestostickaboyintoanofficeatseventeen!“
“NobodyWANTStostickhimintoanoffice,“shesaid。
She,too,wasbecomingannoyed。Shehadspentthewholeoftheafternoondiscussingwearisomedetailsofeducationandexpensewithhermother,andshehadcometoherbrotherforhelp,encouraged,ratherirrationally,toexpecthelpbythefactthathehadbeenoutsomewhere,shedidn'tknowanddidn'tmeantoaskwhere,alltheafternoon。
Ralphwasfondofhissister,andherirritationmadehimthinkhowunfairitwasthatalltheseburdensshouldbelaidonhershoulders。
“Thetruthis,“heobservedgloomily,“thatIoughttohaveacceptedUncleJohn'soffer。Ishouldhavebeenmakingsixhundredayearbythistime。“
“Idon'tthinkthatforamoment,“Joanrepliedquickly,repentingofherannoyance。“Thequestion,tomymind,is,whetherwecouldn'tcutdownourexpensesinsomeway。“
“Asmallerhouse?“
“Fewerservants,perhaps。“
Neitherbrothernorsisterspokewithmuchconviction,andafterreflectingforamomentwhattheseproposedreformsinastrictlyeconomicalhouseholdmeant,Ralphannouncedverydecidedly:
“It'soutofthequestion。“
Itwasoutofthequestionthatsheshouldputanymorehouseholdworkuponherself。No,thehardshipmustfallonhim,forhewasdeterminedthathisfamilyshouldhaveasmanychancesofdistinguishingthemselvesasotherfamilieshad——astheHilberyshad,forexample。Hebelievedsecretlyandratherdefiantly,foritwasafactnotcapableofproof,thattherewassomethingveryremarkableabouthisfamily。
“Ifmotherwon'trunrisks——“
“Youreallycan'texpecthertoselloutagain。“
“Sheoughttolookuponitasaninvestment;butifshewon't,wemustfindsomeotherway,that'sall。“
Athreatwascontainedinthissentence,andJoanknew,withoutasking,whatthethreatwas。Inthecourseofhisprofessionallife,whichnowextendedoversixorsevenyears,Ralphhadsaved,perhaps,threeorfourhundredpounds。ConsideringthesacrificeshehadmadeinordertoputbythissumitalwaysamazedJoantofindthatheusedittogamblewith,buyingsharesandsellingthemagain,increasingitsometimes,sometimesdiminishingit,andalwaysrunningtheriskoflosingeverypennyofitinaday'sdisaster。Butalthoughshewondered,shecouldnothelplovinghimthebetterforhisoddcombinationofSpartanself-controlandwhatappearedtoherromanticandchildishfolly。Ralphinterestedhermorethananyoneelseintheworld,andsheoftenbrokeoffinthemiddleofoneoftheseeconomicdiscussions,inspiteoftheirgravity,toconsidersomefreshaspectofhischaracter。
“Ithinkyou'dbefoolishtoriskyourmoneyonpooroldCharles,“sheobserved。“FondasIamofhim,hedoesn'tseemtomeexactlybrilliant……Besides,whyshouldyoubesacrificed?“
“MydearJoan,“Ralphexclaimed,stretchinghimselfoutwithagestureofimpatience,“don'tyouseethatwe'veallgottobesacrificed?
What'stheuseofdenyingit?What'stheuseofstrugglingagainstit?
Soitalwayshasbeen,soitalwayswillbe。We'vegotnomoneyandwenevershallhaveanymoney。Weshalljustturnroundinthemilleverydayofourlivesuntilwedropanddie,wornout,asmostpeopledo,whenonecomestothinkofit。“
Joanlookedathim,openedherlipsasiftospeak,andclosedthemagain。Thenshesaid,verytentatively:
“Aren'tyouhappy,Ralph?“
“No。Areyou?PerhapsI'mashappyasmostpeople,though。GodknowswhetherI'mhappyornot。Whatishappiness?“
Heglancedwithhalfasmile,inspiteofhisgloomyirritation,athissister。Shelooked,asusual,asifshewereweighingonethingwithanother,andbalancingthemtogetherbeforeshemadeuphermind。
“Happiness,“sheremarkedatlengthenigmatically,ratherasifsheweresamplingtheword,andthenshepaused。Shepausedforaconsiderablespace,asifshewereconsideringhappinessinallitsbearings。“Hildawashereto-day,“shesuddenlyresumed,asiftheyhadnevermentionedhappiness。“ShebroughtBobbie——he'safineboynow。“Ralphobserved,withanamusementthathadatingeofironyinit,thatshewasnowgoingtosidleawayquicklyfromthisdangerousapproachtointimacyontotopicsofgeneralandfamilyinterest。
Nevertheless,hereflected,shewastheonlyoneofhisfamilywithwhomhefounditpossibletodiscusshappiness,althoughhemightverywellhavediscussedhappinesswithMissHilberyattheirfirstmeeting。HelookedcriticallyatJoan,andwishedthatshedidnotlooksoprovincialorsuburbaninherhighgreendresswiththefadedtrimming,sopatient,andalmostresigned。HebegantowishtotellherabouttheHilberysinordertoabusethem,forintheminiaturebattlewhichsooftenragesbetweentwoquicklyfollowingimpressionsoflife,thelifeoftheHilberyswasgettingthebetterofthelifeoftheDenhamsinhismind,andhewantedtoassurehimselfthattherewassomequalityinwhichJoaninfinitelysurpassedMissHilbery。Heshouldhavefeltthathisownsisterwasmoreoriginal,andhadgreatervitalitythanMissHilberyhad;buthismainimpressionofKatharinenowwasofapersonofgreatvitalityandcomposure;andatthemomenthecouldnotperceivewhatpoordearJoanhadgainedfromthefactthatshewasthegranddaughterofamanwhokeptashop,andherselfearnedherownliving。Theinfinitedrearinessandsordidnessoftheirlifeoppressedhiminspiteofhisfundamentalbeliefthat,asafamily,theyweresomehowremarkable。
“Shallyoutalktomother?“Joaninquired。“Because,yousee,thething'sgottobesettled,onewayoranother。CharlesmustwritetoUncleJohnifhe'sgoingthere。“
Ralphsighedimpatiently。
“Isupposeitdoesn'tmuchmattereitherway,“heexclaimed。“He'sdoomedtomiseryinthelongrun。“
AslightflushcameintoJoan'scheek。
“Youknowyou'retalkingnonsense,“shesaid。“Itdoesn'thurtanyonetohavetoearntheirownliving。I'mverygladIhavetoearnmine。“
Ralphwaspleasedthatsheshouldfeelthis,andwishedhertocontinue,buthewenton,perverselyenough。
“Isn'tthatonlybecauseyou'veforgottenhowtoenjoyyourself?Youneverhavetimeforanythingdecent——“
“Asforinstance?“
“Well,goingforwalks,ormusic,orbooks,orseeinginterestingpeople。Youneverdoanythingthat'sreallyworthdoinganymorethanIdo。“
“Ialwaysthinkyoucouldmakethisroommuchnicer,ifyouliked,“
sheobserved。
“WhatdoesitmatterwhatsortofroomIhavewhenI'mforcedtospendallthebestyearsofmylifedrawingupdeedsinanoffice?“
“Yousaidtwodaysagothatyoufoundthelawsointeresting。“
“Soitisifonecouldaffordtoknowanythingaboutit。“
“That'sHerbertonlyjustgoingtobednow,“Joaninterposed,asadooronthelandingslammedvigorously。“Andthenhewon'tgetupinthemorning。“
Ralphlookedattheceiling,andshuthislipscloselytogether。Why,hewondered,couldJoanneverforonemomentdetachhermindfromthedetailsofdomesticlife?Itseemedtohimthatshewasgettingmoreandmoreenmeshedinthem,andcapableofshorterandlessfrequentflightsintotheouterworld,andyetshewasonlythirty-three。
“D'youeverpaycallsnow?“heaskedabruptly。
“Idon'toftenhavethetime。Whydoyouask?“
“Itmightbeagoodthing,togettoknownewpeople,that'sall。“
“PoorRalph!“saidJoansuddenly,withasmile。“Youthinkyoursister'sgettingveryoldandverydull——that'sit,isn'tit?“
“Idon'tthinkanythingofthekind,“hesaidstoutly,butheflushed。
“Butyouleadadog'slife,Joan。Whenyou'renotworkinginanoffice,you'reworryingovertherestofus。AndI'mnotmuchgoodtoyou,I'mafraid。“
Joanrose,andstoodforamomentwarmingherhands,and,apparently,meditatingastowhethersheshouldsayanythingmoreornot。A
feelingofgreatintimacyunitedthebrotherandsister,andthesemicircularlinesabovetheireyebrowsdisappeared。No,therewasnothingmoretobesaidoneitherside。Joanbrushedherbrother'sheadwithherhandasshepassedhim,murmuredgoodnight,andlefttheroom。ForsomeminutesaftershehadgoneRalphlayquiescent,restinghisheadonhishand,butgraduallyhiseyesfilledwiththought,andthelinereappearedonhisbrow,asthepleasantimpressionofcompanionshipandancientsympathywaned,andhewaslefttothinkonalone。
Afteratimeheopenedhisbook,andreadonsteadily,glancingonceortwiceathiswatch,asifhehadsethimselfatasktobeaccomplishedinacertainmeasureoftime。Nowandthenheheardvoicesinthehouse,andtheclosingofbedroomdoors,whichshowedthatthebuilding,atthetopofwhichhesat,wasinhabitedineveryoneofitscells。Whenmidnightstruck,Ralphshuthisbook,andwithacandleinhishand,descendedtothegroundfloor,toascertainthatalllightswereextinctandalldoorslocked。Itwasathreadbare,well-wornhousethathethusexamined,asiftheinmateshadgrazeddownallluxurianceandplentytothevergeofdecency;andinthenight,bereftoflife,bareplacesandancientblemisheswereunpleasantlyvisible。KatharineHilbery,hethought,wouldcondemnitoff-hand。
CHAPTERIII
DenhamhadaccusedKatharineHilberyofbelongingtooneofthemostdistinguishedfamiliesinEngland,andifanyonewilltakethetroubletoconsultMr。Galton's“HereditaryGenius,“hewillfindthatthisassertionisnotfarfromthetruth。TheAlardyces,theHilberys,theMillingtons,andtheOtwaysseemtoprovethatintellectisapossessionwhichcanbetossedfromonememberofacertaingrouptoanotheralmostindefinitely,andwithapparentcertaintythatthebrilliantgiftwillbesafelycaughtandheldbynineoutoftenoftheprivilegedrace。Theyhadbeenconspicuousjudgesandadmirals,lawyersandservantsoftheStateforsomeyearsbeforetherichnessofthesoilculminatedintherarestflowerthatanyfamilycanboast,agreatwriter,apoeteminentamongthepoetsofEngland,aRichardAlardyce;andhavingproducedhim,theyprovedoncemoretheamazingvirtuesoftheirracebyproceedingunconcernedlyagainwiththeirusualtaskofbreedingdistinguishedmen。TheyhadsailedwithSirJohnFranklintotheNorthPole,andriddenwithHavelocktotheReliefofLucknow,andwhentheywerenotlighthousesfirmlybasedonrockfortheguidanceoftheirgeneration,theyweresteady,serviceablecandles,illuminatingtheordinarychambersofdailylife。
Whateverprofessionyoulookedat,therewasaWarburtonoranAlardyce,aMillingtonoraHilberysomewhereinauthorityandprominence。
Itmaybesaid,indeed,thatEnglishsocietybeingwhatitis,noverygreatmeritisrequired,onceyoubearawell-knownname,toputyouintoapositionwhereitiseasieronthewholetobeeminentthanobscure。Andifthisistrueofthesons,eventhedaughters,eveninthenineteenthcentury,areapttobecomepeopleofimportance——
philanthropistsandeducationalistsiftheyarespinsters,andthewivesofdistinguishedmeniftheymarry。ItistruethattherewereseverallamentableexceptionstothisruleintheAlardycegroup,whichseemstoindicatethatthecadetsofsuchhousesgomorerapidlytothebadthanthechildrenofordinaryfathersandmothers,asifitweresomehowarelieftothem。But,onthewhole,inthesefirstyearsofthetwentiethcentury,theAlardycesandtheirrelationswerekeepingtheirheadswellabovewater。Onefindsthematthetopsofprofessions,withlettersaftertheirnames;theysitinluxuriouspublicoffices,withprivatesecretariesattachedtothem;theywritesolidbooksindarkcovers,issuedbythepressesofthetwogreatuniversities,andwhenoneofthemdiesthechancesarethatanotherofthemwriteshisbiography。
Nowthesourceofthisnobilitywas,ofcourse,thepoet,andhisimmediatedescendants,therefore,wereinvestedwithgreaterlusterthanthecollateralbranches。Mrs。Hilbery,invirtueofherpositionastheonlychildofthepoet,wasspirituallytheheadofthefamily,andKatharine,herdaughter,hadsomesuperiorrankamongallthecousinsandconnections,themoresobecauseshewasanonlychild。
TheAlardyceshadmarriedandintermarried,andtheiroffspringweregenerallyprofuse,andhadawayofmeetingregularlyineachother'shousesformealsandfamilycelebrationswhichhadacquiredasemi-
sacredcharacter,andwereasregularlyobservedasdaysoffeastingandfastingintheChurch。
Intimesgoneby,Mrs。Hilberyhadknownallthepoets,allthenovelists,allthebeautifulwomenanddistinguishedmenofhertime。
Thesebeingnoweitherdeadorsecludedintheirinfirmglory,shemadeherhouseameeting-placeforherownrelations,towhomshewouldlamentthepassingofthegreatdaysofthenineteenthcentury,wheneverydepartmentoflettersandartwasrepresentedinEnglandbytwoorthreeillustriousnames。Wherearetheirsuccessors?shewouldask,andtheabsenceofanypoetorpainterornovelistofthetruecaliberatthepresentdaywasatextuponwhichshelikedtoruminate,inasunsetmoodofbenignantreminiscence,whichitwouldhavebeenhardtodisturbhadtherebeenneed。Butshewasfarfromvisitingtheirinferiorityupontheyoungergeneration。Shewelcomedthemveryheartilytoherhouse,toldthemherstories,gavethemsovereignsandicesandgoodadvice,andweavedroundthemromanceswhichhadgenerallynolikenesstothetruth。
ThequalityofherbirthoozedintoKatharine'sconsciousnessfromadozendifferentsourcesassoonasshewasabletoperceiveanything。
Abovehernurseryfireplacehungaphotographofhergrandfather'stombinPoets'Corner,andshewastoldinoneofthosemomentsofgrown-upconfidencewhicharesotremendouslyimpressivetothechild'smind,thathewasburiedtherebecausehewasa“goodandgreatman。“Later,onananniversary,shewastakenbyhermotherthroughthefoginahansomcab,andgivenalargebunchofbright,sweet-scentedflowerstolayuponhistomb。Thecandlesinthechurch,thesingingandtheboomingoftheorgan,wereall,shethought,inhishonor。Againandagainshewasbroughtdownintothedrawing-roomtoreceivetheblessingofsomeawfuldistinguishedoldman,whosat,eventoherchildisheye,somewhatapart,allgatheredtogetherandclutchingastick,unlikeanordinaryvisitorinherfather'sownarm-
chair,andherfatherhimselfwasthere,unlikehimself,too,alittleexcitedandverypolite。Theseformidableoldcreaturesusedtotakeherintheirarms,lookverykeenlyinhereyes,andthentoblessher,andtellherthatshemustmindandbeagoodgirl,ordetectalookinherfacesomethinglikeRichard'sasasmallboy。Thatdrewdownuponherhermother'sferventembrace,andshewassentbacktothenurseryveryproud,andwithamysterioussenseofanimportantandunexplainedstateofthings,whichtime,bydegrees,unveiledtoher。
Therewerealwaysvisitors——unclesandauntsandcousins“fromIndia,“
tobereverencedfortheirrelationshipalone,andothersofthesolitaryandformidableclass,whomshewasenjoinedbyherparentsto“rememberallyourlife。“Bythesemeans,andfromhearingconstanttalkofgreatmenandtheirworks,herearliestconceptionsoftheworldincludedanaugustcircleofbeingstowhomshegavethenamesofShakespeare,Milton,Wordsworth,Shelley,andsoon,whowere,forsomereason,muchmorenearlyakintotheHilberysthantootherpeople。Theymadeakindofboundarytohervisionoflife,andplayedaconsiderablepartindeterminingherscaleofgoodandbadinherownsmallaffairs。Herdescentfromoneofthesegodswasnosurprisetoher,butmatterforsatisfaction,until,astheyearsworeon,theprivilegesofherlotweretakenforgranted,andcertaindrawbacksmadethemselvesverymanifest。Perhapsitisalittledepressingtoinheritnotlandsbutanexampleofintellectualandspiritualvirtue;
perhapstheconclusivenessofagreatancestorisalittlediscouragingtothosewhoruntheriskofcomparisonwithhim。Itseemsasif,havingfloweredsosplendidly,nothingnowremainedpossiblebutasteadygrowthofgood,greenstalkandleaf。Forthesereasons,andforothers,Katharinehadhermomentsofdespondency。Thegloriouspast,inwhichmenandwomengrewtounexampledsize,intrudedtoomuchuponthepresent,anddwarfedittooconsistently,tobealtogetherencouragingtooneforcedtomakeherexperimentinlivingwhenthegreatagewasdead。
Shewasdrawntodwelluponthesemattersmorethanwasnatural,inthefirstplaceowingtohermother'sabsorptioninthem,andinthesecondbecauseagreatpartofhertimewasspentinimaginationwiththedead,sinceshewashelpinghermothertoproducealifeofthegreatpoet。WhenKatharinewasseventeenoreighteen——thatistosay,sometenyearsago——hermotherhadenthusiasticallyannouncedthatnow,withadaughtertohelpher,thebiographywouldsoonbepublished。Noticestothiseffectfoundtheirwayintotheliterarypapers,andforsometimeKatharineworkedwithasenseofgreatprideandachievement。
Lately,however,ithadseemedtoherthattheyweremakingnowayatall,andthiswasthemoretantalizingbecausenoonewiththeghostofaliterarytemperamentcoulddoubtbutthattheyhadmaterialsforoneofthegreatestbiographiesthathaseverbeenwritten。Shelvesandboxesbulgedwiththepreciousstuff。Themostprivatelivesofthemostinterestingpeoplelayfurledinyellowbundlesofclose-
writtenmanuscript。InadditiontothisMrs。Hilberyhadinherownheadasbrightavisionofthattimeasnowremainedtotheliving,andcouldgivethoseflashesandthrillstotheoldwordswhichgavethemalmostthesubstanceofflesh。Shehadnodifficultyinwriting,andcoveredapageeverymorningasinstinctivelyasathrushsings,butnevertheless,withallthistourgeandinspire,andthemostdevoutintentiontoaccomplishthework,thebookstillremainedunwritten。Papersaccumulatedwithoutmuchfurtheringtheirtask,andindullmomentsKatharinehadherdoubtswhethertheywouldeverproduceanythingatallfittolaybeforethepublic。Wheredidthedifficultylie?Notintheirmaterials,alas!norintheirambitions,butinsomethingmoreprofound,inherowninaptitude,andaboveall,inhermother'stemperament。Katharinewouldcalculatethatshehadneverknownherwriteformorethantenminutesatatime。Ideascametoherchieflywhenshewasinmotion。Shelikedtoperambulatetheroomwithadusterinherhand,withwhichshestoppedtopolishthebacksofalreadylustrousbooks,musingandromancingasshedidso。
Suddenlytherightphraseorthepenetratingpointofviewwouldsuggestitself,andshewoulddropherdusterandwriteecstaticallyforafewbreathlessmoments;andthenthemoodwouldpassaway,andthedusterwouldbesoughtfor,andtheoldbookspolishedagain。
Thesespellsofinspirationneverburntsteadily,butflickeredoverthegiganticmassofthesubjectascapriciouslyasawill-o'-the-
wisp,lightingnowonthispoint,nowonthat。ItwasasmuchasKatharinecoulddotokeepthepagesofhermother'smanuscriptinorder,buttosortthemsothatthesixteenthyearofRichardAlardyce'slifesucceededthefifteenthwasbeyondherskill。Andyettheyweresobrilliant,theseparagraphs,sonoblyphrased,solightning-likeintheirillumination,thatthedeadseemedtocrowdtheveryroom。Readcontinuously,theyproducedasortofvertigo,andsetheraskingherselfindespairwhatonearthshewastodowiththem?Hermotherrefused,also,tofacetheradicalquestionsofwhattoleaveinandwhattoleaveout。Shecouldnotdecidehowfarthepublicwastobetoldthetruthaboutthepoet'sseparationfromhiswife。Shedraftedpassagestosuiteithercase,andthenlikedeachsowellthatshecouldnotdecideupontherejectionofeither。
Butthebookmustbewritten。Itwasadutythattheyowedtheworld,andtoKatharine,atleast,itmeantmorethanthat,foriftheycouldnotbetweenthemgetthisonebookaccomplishedtheyhadnorighttotheirprivilegedposition。Theirincrementbecameyearlymoreandmoreunearned。Besides,itmustbeestablishedindisputablythathergrandfatherwasaverygreatman。
Bythetimeshewastwenty-seven,thesethoughtshadbecomeveryfamiliartoher。Theytrodtheirwaythroughhermindasshesatoppositehermotherofamorningatatableheapedwithbundlesofoldlettersandwellsuppliedwithpencils,scissors,bottlesofgum,india-rubberbands,largeenvelopes,andotherappliancesforthemanufactureofbooks。ShortlybeforeRalphDenham'svisit,Katharinehadresolvedtotrytheeffectofstrictrulesuponhermother'shabitsofliterarycomposition。Theyweretobeseatedattheirtableseverymorningatteno'clock,withaclean-sweptmorningofempty,secludedhoursbeforethem。Theyweretokeeptheireyesfastuponthepaper,andnothingwastotemptthemtospeech,saveatthestrokeofthehourwhentenminutesforrelaxationweretobeallowedthem。Iftheseruleswereobservedforayear,shemadeoutonasheetofpaperthatthecompletionofthebookwascertain,andshelaidherschemebeforehermotherwithafeelingthatmuchofthetaskwasalreadyaccomplished。Mrs。Hilberyexaminedthesheetofpaperverycarefully。
Thensheclappedherhandsandexclaimedenthusiastically:
“Welldone,Katharine!Whatawonderfulheadforbusinessyou'vegot!
NowIshallkeepthisbeforeme,andeverydayIshallmakealittlemarkinmypocketbook,andonthelastdayofall——letmethink,whatshallwedotocelebratethelastdayofall?Ifitweren'tthewinterwecouldtakeajaunttoItaly。TheysaySwitzerland'sverylovelyinthesnow,exceptforthecold。But,asyousay,thegreatthingistofinishthebook。Nowletmesee——“
Whentheyinspectedhermanuscripts,whichKatharinehadputinorder,theyfoundastateofthingswellcalculatedtodashtheirspirits,iftheyhadnotjustresolvedonreform。Theyfound,tobeginwith,agreatvarietyofveryimposingparagraphswithwhichthebiographywastoopen;manyofthese,itistrue,wereunfinished,andresembledtriumphalarchesstandingupononeleg,but,asMrs。Hilberyobserved,theycouldbepatchedupintenminutes,ifshegavehermindtoit。
Next,therewasanaccountoftheancienthomeoftheAlardyces,orrather,ofspringinSuffolk,whichwasverybeautifullywritten,althoughnotessentialtothestory。However,Katharinehadputtogetherastringofnamesanddates,sothatthepoetwascapablybroughtintotheworld,andhisninthyearwasreachedwithoutfurthermishap。Afterthat,Mrs。Hilberywished,forsentimentalreasons,tointroducetherecollectionsofaveryfluentoldlady,whohadbeenbroughtupinthesamevillage,buttheseKatharinedecidedmustgo。
ItmightbeadvisabletointroducehereasketchofcontemporarypoetrycontributedbyMr。Hilbery,andthusterseandlearnedandaltogetheroutofkeepingwiththerest,butMrs。Hilberywasofopinionthatitwastoobare,andmadeonefeelaltogetherlikeagoodlittlegirlinalecture-room,whichwasnotatallinkeepingwithherfather。Itwasputononeside。Nowcametheperiodofhisearlymanhood,whenvariousaffairsoftheheartmusteitherbeconcealedorrevealed;hereagainMrs。Hilberywasoftwominds,andathickpacketofmanuscriptwasshelvedforfurtherconsideration。
Severalyearswerenowaltogetheromitted,becauseMrs。Hilberyhadfoundsomethingdistastefultoherinthatperiod,andhadpreferredtodwelluponherownrecollectionsasachild。Afterthis,itseemedtoKatharinethatthebookbecameawilddanceofwill-o'-the-wisps,withoutformorcontinuity,withoutcoherenceeven,oranyattempttomakeanarrative。Hereweretwentypagesuponhergrandfather'stasteinhats,anessayuponcontemporarychina,alongaccountofasummerday'sexpeditionintothecountry,whentheyhadmissedtheirtrain,togetherwithfragmentaryvisionsofallsortsoffamousmenandwomen,whichseemedtobepartlyimaginaryandpartlyauthentic。Therewere,moreover,thousandsofletters,andamassoffaithfulrecollectionscontributedbyoldfriends,whichhadgrownyellownowintheirenvelopes,butmustbeplacedsomewhere,ortheirfeelingswouldbehurt。Somanyvolumeshadbeenwrittenaboutthepoetsincehisdeaththatshehadalsotodisposeofagreatnumberofmisstatements,whichinvolvedminuteresearchesandmuchcorrespondence。SometimesKatharinebrooded,halfcrushed,amongherpapers;sometimesshefeltthatitwasnecessaryforherveryexistencethatsheshouldfreeherselffromthepast;atothers,thatthepasthadcompletelydisplacedthepresent,which,whenoneresumedlifeafteramorningamongthedead,provedtobeofanutterlythinandinferiorcomposition。