'Whyfails?'asksBoots。
'Howfails?'asksBrewer。
'Pardonme,'returnsLightwood,'Imustpostponethereplyforonemoment,orweshallhaveananti-climax。Artichokefailingsignally,myclientrefersthetasktome:hispurposebeingtoadvancetheinterestsoftheobjectofhissearch。Iproceedtoputmyselfincommunicationwithher;Ievenhappentopossesssomespecialmeans,'withaglanceatEugene,'ofputtingmyselfincommunicationwithher;butIfailtoo,becauseshehasvanished。'
'Vanished!'isthegeneralecho。
'Disappeared,'saysMortimer。'Nobodyknowshow,nobodyknowswhen,nobodyknowswhere。Andsoendsthestorytowhichmyhonourableandfairenslaveroppositereferred。'
Tippins,withabewitchinglittlescream,opinesthatweshalleveryoneofusbemurderedinourbeds。Eugeneeyesherasifsomeofuswouldbeenoughforhim。MrsVeneering,W。M。P。,remarksthatthesesocialmysteriesmakeoneafraidofleavingBaby。
Veneering,M。P。,wishestobeinformedwithsomethingofasecond-handairofseeingtheRightHonourableGentlemanattheheadoftheHomeDepartmentinhisplacewhetheritisintendedtobeconveyedthatthevanishedpersonhasbeenspiritedawayorotherwiseharmed?InsteadofLightwood'sanswering,Eugeneanswers,andanswershastilyandvexedly:'No,no,no;hedoesn'tmeanthat;hemeansvoluntarilyvanished——bututterly——
completely。'
However,thegreatsubjectofthehappinessofMrandMrsLammlemustnotbeallowedtovanishwiththeothervanishments——withthevanishingofthemurderer,thevanishingofJuliusHandford,thevanishingofLizzieHexam,——andthereforeVeneeringmustrecallthepresentsheeptothepenfromwhichtheyhavestrayed。WhosofittodiscourseofthehappinessofMrandMrsLammle,theybeingthedearestandoldestfriendshehasintheworld;orwhataudiencesofitforhimtotakeintohisconfidenceasthataudience,anounofmultitudeorsignifyingmany,whoarealltheoldestanddearestfriendshehasintheworld?SoVeneering,withouttheformalityofrising,launchesintoafamiliaroration,graduallytoningintotheParliamentarysing-song,inwhichheseesatthatboardhisdearfriendTwemlowwhoonthatdaytwelvemonthbestowedonhisdearfriendLammlethefairhandofhisdearfriendSophronia,andinwhichhealsoseesatthatboardhisdearfriendsBootsandBrewerwhoserallyingroundhimataperiodwhenhisdearfriendLadyTippinslikewiseralliedroundhim——ay,andintheforemostrank——
hecanneverforgetwhilememoryholdsherseat。ButheisfreetoconfessthathemissesfromthatboardhisdearoldfriendPodsnap,thoughheiswellrepresentedbyhisdearyoungfriendGeorgiana。Andhefurtherseesatthatboardthisheannounceswithpomp,asifexultinginthepowersofanextraordinarytelescopehisfriendMrFledgeby,ifhewillpermithimtocallhimso。Forallofthesereasons,andmanymorewhichherightwellknowswillhaveoccurredtopersonsofyourexceptionalacuteness,heisheretosubmittoyouthatthetimehasarrivedwhen,withourheartsinourglasses,withtearsinoureyes,withblessingsonourlips,andinageneralwaywithaprofusionofgammonandspinachinouremotionallarders,weshouldoneandalldrinktoourdearfriendstheLammles,wishingthemmanyyearsashappyasthelast,andmanymanyfriendsascongeniallyunitedasthemselves。Andthishewilladd;thatAnastatiaVeneeringwhoisinstantlyheardtoweepisformedonthesamemodelasheroldandchosenfriendSophroniaLammle,inrespectthatsheisdevotedtothemanwhowooedandwonher,andnoblydischargesthedutiesofawife。
Seeingnobetterwayoutofit,VeneeringherepullsuphisoratoricalPegasusextremelyshort,andplumpsdown,cleanoverhishead,with:'Lammle,Godblessyou!'
ThenLammle。Toomuchofhimeveryway;pervadinglytoomuchnoseofacoarsewrongshape,andhisnoseinhismindandhismanners;toomuchsmiletobereal;toomuchfrowntobefalse;toomanylargeteethtobevisibleatoncewithoutsuggestingabite。Hethanksyou,dearfriends,foryourkindlygreeting,andhopestoreceiveyou——itmaybeonthenextofthesedelightfiiloccasions——inaresidencebettersuitedtoyourclaimsontheritesofhospitality。HewillneverforgetthatatVeneering'shefirstsawSophronia。SophroniawillneverforgetthatatVeneering'sshefirstsawhim。'Theyspokeofitsoonaftertheyweremarried,andagreedthattheywouldneverforgetit。Infact,toVeneeringtheyowetheirunion。Theyhopetoshowtheirsenseofthissomeday'No,no,fromVeneering——ohyes,yes,andlethimrelyuponit,theywilliftheycan!HismarriagewithSophroniawasnotamarriageofinterestoneitherside:shehadherlittlefortune,hehadhislittlefortune:theyjoinedtheirlittlefortunes:itwasamarriageofpureinclinationandsuitability。Thankyou!
Sophroniaandhearefondofthesocietyofyoungpeople;butheisnotsurethattheirhousewouldbeagoodhouseforyoungpeopleproposingtoremainsingle,sincethecontemplationofitsdomesticblissmightinducethemtochangetheirminds。Hewillnotapplythistoanyonepresent;certainlynottotheirdarlinglittleGeorgiana。Againthankyou!Neither,by-the-by,willheapplyittohisfriendFledgeby。HethanksVeneeringforthefeelingmannerinwhichhereferredtotheircommonfriendFledgeby,forheholdsthatgentlemaninthehighestestimation。
Thankyou。InfactreturningunexpectedlytoFledgeby,thebetteryouknowhim,themoreyoufindinhimthatyoudesiretoknow。Againthankyou!InhisdearSophronia'snameandinhisown,thankyou!
MrsLammlehassatquitestill,withhereyescastdownuponthetable-cloth。AsMrLammle'saddressends,Twemlowoncemoreturnstoherinvoluntarily,notcuredyetofthatoftenrecurringimpressionthatsheisgoingtospeaktohim。Thistimeshereallyisgoingtospeaktohim。Veneeringistalkingwithhisothernextneighbour,andshespeaksinalowvoice。
'MrTwemlow。'
Heanswers,'Ibegyourpardon?Yes?'Stillalittledoubtful,becauseofhernotlookingathim。
'Youhavethesoulofagentleman,andIknowImaytrustyou。
Willyougivemetheopportunityofsayingafewwordstoyouwhenyoucomeupstairs?'
'Assuredly。Ishallbehonoured。'
'Don'tseemtodoso,ifyouplease,anddon'tthinkitinconsistentifmymannershouldbemorecarelessthanmywords。Imaybewatched。'
Intenselyastonished,Twemlowputshishandtohisforehead,andsinksbackinhischairmeditating。MrsLammlerises。Allrise。
Theladiesgoupstairs。Thegentlemensoonsaunterafterthem。
FledgebyhasdevotedtheintervaltotakinganobservationofBoots'swhiskers,Brewer'swhiskers,andLammle'swhiskers,andconsideringwhichpatternofwhiskerhewouldprefertoproduceoutofhimselfbyfriction,iftheGenieofthecheekwouldonlyanswertohisrubbing。
Inthedrawing-room,groupsformasusual。Lightwood,Boots,andBrewer,flutterlikemothsaroundthatyellowwaxcandle——
gutteringdown,andwithsomehintofawinding-sheetinit——LadyTippins。OutsiderscultivateVeneering,MP。,andMrsVeneering,W。M。P。Lammlestandswithfoldedarms,Mephistopheleaninacorner,withGeorgianaandFledgeby。MrsLammle,onasofabyatable,invitesMrTwemlow'sattentiontoabookofportraitsinherhand。
MrTwemlowtakeshisstationonasetteebeforeher,andMrsLammleshowshimaportrait。
'Youhavereasontobesurprised,'shesayssoftly,'butIwishyouwouldn'tlookso。'
DisturbedTwemlow,makinganeffortnottolookso,looksmuchmoreso。
'Ithink,MrTwemlow,youneversawthatdistantconnexionofyoursbeforeto-day?'
'No,never。'
'Nowthatyoudoseehim,youseewhatheis。Youarenotproudofhim?'
'Tosaythetruth,MrsLammle,no。'
'Ifyouknewmoreofhim,youwouldbelessinclinedtoacknowledgehim。Hereisanotherportrait。Whatdoyouthinkofit?'
Twemlowhasjustpresenceofmindenoughtosayaloud:'Verylike!Uncommonlylike!'
'Youhavenoticed,perhaps,whomhefavourswithhisattentions?
Younoticewhereheisnow,andhowengaged?'
'Yes。ButMrLammle——'
Shedartsalookathimwhichhecannotcomprehend,andshowshimanotherportrait。
'Verygood;isitnot?'
'Charming!'saysTwemlow。
'Solikeastobealmostacaricature?——MrTwemlow,itisimpossibletotellyouwhatthestruggleinmymindhasbeen,beforeIcouldbringmyselftospeaktoyouasIdonow。ItisonlyintheconvictionthatImaytrustyounevertobetrayme,thatI
canproceed。Sincerelypromisemethatyouneverwillbetraymyconfidence——thatyouwillrespectit,eventhoughyoumaynolongerrespectme,——andIshallbeassatisfiedasifyouhadswornit。'
'Madam,onthehonourofapoorgentleman——'
'Thankyou。Icandesirenomore。MrTwemlow,Iimploreyoutosavethatchild!'
'Thatchild?'
'Georgiana。Shewillbesacrificed。Shewillbeinveigledandmarriedtothatconnexionofyours。Itisapartnershipaffair,amoney-speculation。Shehasnostrengthofwillorcharactertohelpherselfandsheisonthebrinkofbeingsoldintowretchednessforlife。'
'Amazing!ButwhatcanIdotopreventit?'demandsTwemlow,shockedandbewilderedtothelastdegree。
'Hereisanotherportrait。Andnotgood,isit?'
Aghastatthelightmannerofherthrowingherheadbacktolookatitcritically,Twemlowstilldimlyperceivestheexpediencyofthrowinghisownheadback,anddoesso。ThoughhenomoreseestheportraitthanifitwereinChina。
'Decidedlynotgood,'saysMrsLammle。'Stiffandexaggerated!'
'Andex——'ButTwemlow,inhisdemolishedstate,cannotcommandtheword,andtrailsoffinto'——actlyso。'
'MrTwemlow,yourwordwillhaveweightwithherpompous,self-blindedfather。Youknowhowmuchhemakesofyourfamily。Losenotime。Warnhim。'
'Butwarnhimagainstwhom?'
'Againstme。'
BygreatgoodfortuneTwemlowreceivesastimulantatthiscriticalinstant。ThestimulantisLammle'svoice。
'Sophronia,mydear,whatportraitsareyoushowingTwemlow?'
'Publiccharacters,Alfred。'
'Showhimthelastofme。'
'Yes,Alfred。'
Sheputsthebookdown,takesanotherbookup,turnstheleaves,andpresentstheportraittoTwemlow。
'ThatisthelastofMrLammle。Doyouthinkitgood?——Warnherfatheragainstme。Ideserveit,forIhavebeenintheschemefromthefirst。Itismyhusband'sscheme,yourconnexion's,andmine。
Itellyouthis,onlytoshowyouthenecessityofthepoorlittlefoolishaffectionatecreature'sbeingbefriendedandrescued。Youwillnotrepeatthistoherfather。Youwillsparemesofar,andsparemyhusband。For,thoughthiscelebrationofto-dayisallamockery,heismyhusband,andwemustlive——Doyouthinkitlike?'
Twemlow,inastunnedcondition,feignstocomparetheportraitinhishandwiththeoriginallookingtowardshimfromhisMephistopheleancorner。
'Verywellindeed!'areatlengththewordswhichTwemlowwithgreatdifficultyextractsfromhimself。
'Iamgladyouthinkso。Onthewhole,Imyselfconsideritthebest。Theothersaresodark。Nowhere,forinstance,isanotherofMrLammle——'
'ButIdon'tunderstand;Idon'tseemyway,'Twemlowstammers,ashefaltersoverthebookwithhisglassathiseye。'Howwarnherfather,andnottellhim?Tellhimhowmuch?Tellhimhowlittle?I——I——amgettinglost。'
'TellhimIamamatch-maker;tellhimIamanartfulanddesigningwoman;tellhimyouaresurehisdaughterisbestoutofmyhouseandmycompany。Tellhimanysuchthingsofme;theywillallbetrue。Youknowwhatapuffed-upmanheis,andhoweasilyyoucancausehisvanitytotakethealarm。Tellhimasmuchaswillgivehimthealarmandmakehimcarefulofher,andsparemetherest。MrTwemlow,Ifeelmysuddendegradationinyoureyes;familiarasIamwithmydegradationinmyowneyes,I
keenlyfeelthechangethatmusthavecomeuponmeinyours,intheselastfewmoments。ButItrusttoyourgoodfaithwithmeasimplicitlyaswhenIbegan。IfyouknewhowoftenIhavetriedtospeaktoyouto-day,youwouldalmostpityme。Iwantnonewpromisefromyouonmyownaccount,forIamsatisfied,andI
alwaysshallbesatisfied,withthepromiseyouhavegivenme。I
canventuretosaynomore,forIseethatIamwatched。Ifyouwouldsetmymindatrestwiththeassurancethatyouwillinterposewiththefatherandsavethisharmlessgirl,closethatbookbeforeyoureturnittome,andIshallknowwhatyoumean,anddeeplythankyouinmyheart——Alfred,MrTwemlowthinksthelastonethebest,andquiteagreeswithyouandme。'
Alfredadvances。Thegroupsbreakup。LadyTippinsrisestogo,andMrsVeneeringfollowsherleader。Forthemoment,MrsLammledoesnotturntothem,butremainslookingatTwemlowlookingatAlfred'sportraitthroughhiseyeglass。Themomentpast,Twemlowdropshiseyeglassatitsribbon'slength,rises,andclosesthebookwithanemphasiswhichmakesthatfragilenurslingofthefairies,Tippins,start。
Thengood-byeandgood-bye,andcharmingoccasionworthyoftheGoldenAge,andmoreabouttheflitchofbacon,andthelikeofthat;andTwemlowgoesstaggeringacrossPiccadillywithhishandtohisforehead,andisnearlyrundownbyaflushedlettercart,andatlastdropssafeinhiseasy-chair,innocentgoodgentleman,withhishandtohisforeheadstill,andhisheadinawhirl。
BOOKTHETHIRDALONGLANE
Chapter1
LODGERSINQUEERSTREET
ItwasafoggydayinLondon,andthefogwasheavyanddark。
AnimateLondon,withsmartingeyesandirritatedlungs,wasblinking,wheezing,andchoking;inanimateLondonwasasootyspectre,dividedinpurposebetweenbeingvisibleandinvisible,andsobeingwhollyneither。Gaslightsflaredintheshopswithahaggardandunblestair,asknowingthemselvestobenight-
creaturesthathadnobusinessabroadunderthesun;whilethesunitselfwhenitwasforafewmomentsdimlyindicatedthroughcirclingeddiesoffog,showedasifithadgoneoutandwerecollapsingflatandcold。Eveninthesurroundingcountryitwasafoggyday,buttherethefogwasgrey,whereasinLondonitwas,atabouttheboundaryline,darkyellow,andalittlewithinitbrown,andthenbrowner,andthenbrowner,untilattheheartoftheCity——
whichcallSaintMaryAxe——itwasrusty-black。Fromanypointofthehighridgeoflandnorthward,itmighthavebeendiscernedthattheloftiestbuildingsmadeanoccasionalstruggletogettheirheadsabovethefoggysea,andespeciallythatthegreatdomeofSaintPaul'sseemedtodiehard;butthiswasnotperceivableinthestreetsattheirfeet,wherethewholemetropoliswasaheapofvapourchargedwithmuffledsoundofwheels,andenfoldingagiganticcatarrh。
Atnineo'clockonsuchamorning,theplaceofbusinessofPubseyandCo。wasnottheliveliestobjecteveninSaintMaryAxe——whichisnotaverylivelyspot——withasobbinggaslightinthecounting-
housewindow,andaburglariousstreamoffogcreepingintostrangleitthroughthekeyholeofthemaindoor。Butthelightwentout,andthemaindooropened,andRiahcameforthwithabagunderhisarm。
Almostintheactofcomingoutatthedoor,Riahwentintothefog,andwaslosttotheeyesofSaintMaryAxe。Buttheeyesofthishistorycanfollowhimwestward,byCornhill,Cheapside,FleetStreet,andtheStrand,toPiccadillyandtheAlbany。Thitherhewentathisgraveandmeasuredpace,staffinhand,skirtatheel;
andmorethanonehead,turningtolookbackathisvenerablefigurealreadylostinthemist,supposedittobesomeordinaryfigureindistinctlyseen,whichfancyandthefoghadworkedintothatpassinglikeness。
Arrivedatthehouseinwhichhismaster'schamberswereonthesecondfloor,Riahproceededupthestairs,andpausedatFascinationFledgeby'sdoor。Makingfreewithneitherbellnorknocker,hestruckuponthedoorwiththetopofhisstaff,and,havinglistened,satdownonthethreshold。Itwascharacteristicofhishabitualsubmission,thathesatdownontherawdarkstaircase,asmanyofhisancestorshadprobablysatdownindungeons,takingwhatbefellhimasitmightbefall。
Afteratime,whenhehadgrownsocoldastobefaintoblowuponhisfingers,hearoseandknockedwithhisstaffagain,andlistenedagain,andagainsatdowntowait。ThriceherepeatedtheseactionsbeforehislisteningearsweregreetedbythevoiceofFledgeby,callingfromhisbed,'Holdyourrow!——I'llcomeandopenthedoordirectly!'But,inlieuofcomingdirectly,hefellintoasweetsleepforsomequarterofanhourmore,duringwhichaddedintervalRiahsatuponthestairsandwaitedwithperfectpatience。
Atlengththedoorstoodopen,andMrFledgeby'sretreatingdraperyplungedintobedagain。Followingitatarespectfuldistance,Riahpassedintothebed-chamber,whereafirehadbeensometimelighted,andwasburningbriskly。
'Why,whattimeofnightdoyoumeantocallit?'inquiredFledgeby,turningawaybeneaththeclothes,andpresentingacomfortablerampartofshouldertothechilledfigureoftheoldman。
'Sir,itisfullhalf-pastteninthemorning。'
'Thedeuceitis!Thenitmustbepreciousfoggy?'
'Veryfoggy,sir。'
'Andraw,then?'
'Chillandbitter,'saidRiah,drawingoutahandkerchief,andwipingthemoisturefromhisbeardandlonggreyhairashestoodonthevergeoftherug,withhiseyesontheacceptablefire。
Withaplungeofenjoyment,Fledgebysettledhimselfafresh。
'Anysnow,orsleet,orslush,oranythingofthatsort?'heasked。
'No,sir,no。Notquitesobadasthat。Thestreetsareprettyclean。'
'Youneedn'tbragaboutit,'returnedFledgeby,disappointedinhisdesiretoheightenthecontrastbetweenhisbedandthestreets。
'Butyou'realwaysbraggingaboutsomething。Gotthebooksthere?'
'Theyarehere,sir。'
'Allright。I'llturnthegeneralsubjectoverinmymindforaminuteortwo,andwhileI'maboutityoucanemptyyourbagandgetreadyforme。'
Withanothercomfortableplunge,MrFledgebyfellasleepagain。
Theoldman,havingobeyedhisdirections,satdownontheedgeofachair,and,foldinghishandsbeforehim,graduallyyieldedtotheinfluenceofthewarmth,anddozed。HewasrousedbyMrFledgeby'sappearingerectatthefootofthebed,inTurkishslippers,rose-colouredTurkishtrousersgotcheapfromsomebodywhohadcheatedsomeothersomebodyoutofthem,andagownandcaptocorrespond。Inthatcostumehewouldhaveleftnothingtobedesired,ifhehadbeenfurtherfittedoutwithabottomlesschair,alantern,andabunchofmatches。
'Now,old'un!'criedFascination,inhislightraillery,'whatdodgeryareyouuptonext,sittingtherewithyoureyesshut?Youain'tasleep。Catchaweaselatit,andcatchaJew!'
'Truly,sir,IfearInodded,'saidtheoldman。
'Notyou!'returnedFledgeby,withacunninglook。'Atellingmovewithagoodmany,Idaresay,butitwon'tputMEoffmyguard。
Notabadnotionthough,ifyouwanttolookindifferentindrivingabargain。Oh,youareadodger!'
Theoldmanshookhishead,gentlyrepudiatingtheimputation,andsuppresedasigh,andmovedtothetableatwhichMrFledgebywasnowpouringoutforhimselfacupofsteamingandfragrantcoffeefromapotthathadstoodreadyonthehob。Itwasanedifyingspectacle,theyoungmaninhiseasychairtakinghiscoffee,andtheoldmanwithhisgreyheadbent,standingawaitinghispleasure。
'Now!'saidFledgeby。'Forkoutyourbalanceinhand,andprovebyfigureshowyoumakeitoutthatitain'tmore。Firstofall,lightthatcandle。'
Riahobeyed,andthentakingabagfromhisbreast,andreferringtothesumintheaccountsforwhichtheymadehimresponsible,tolditoutuponthetable。Fledgebytolditagainwithgreatcare,andrangeverysovereign。
'Isuppose,'hesaid,takingoneuptoeyeitclosely,'youhaven'tbeenlighteninganyofthese;butit'satradeofyourpeople's,youknow。YOUunderstandwhatsweatingapoundmeans,don'tyou?'
'Muchasyoudo,sir,'returnedtheoldman,withhishandsunderoppositecuffsofhisloosesleeves,ashestoodatthetable,deferentiallyobservantofthemaster'sface。'MayItakethelibertytosaysomething?'
'Youmay,'Fledgebygraciouslyconceded。
'Doyounot,sir——withoutintendingit——ofasuretywithoutintendingit——sometimesminglethecharacterIfairlyearninyouremployment,withthecharacterwhichitisyourpolicythatI
shouldbear?'
'Idon'tfinditworthmywhiletocutthingssofineastogointotheinquiry,'Fascinationcoollyanswered。
'Notinjustice?'
'Botherjustice!'saidFledgeby。
'Notingenerosity?'
'Jewsandgenerosity!'saidFledgeby。'That'sagoodconnexion!
Bringoutyourvouchers,anddon'ttalkJerusalempalaver。'
Thevoucherswereproduced,andforthenexthalf-hourMrFledgebyconcentratedhissublimeattentiononthem。Theyandtheaccountswereallfoundcorrect,andthebooksandthepapersresumedtheirplacesinthebag。
'Next,'saidFledgeby,'concerningthatbill-brokingbranchofthebusiness;thebranchIlikebest。Whatqueerbillsaretobebought,andatwhatprices?Youhavegotyourlistofwhat'sinthemarket?'
'Sir,alonglist,'repliedRiah,takingoutapocket-book,andselectingfromitscontentsafoldedpaper,which,beingunfolded,becameasheetoffoolscapcoveredwithclosewriting。
'Whew!'whistledFledgeby,ashetookitinhishand。'QueerStreetisfulloflodgersjustatpresent!Thesearetobedisposedofinparcels;arethey?'
'Inparcelsassetforth,'returnedtheoldman,lookingoverhismaster'sshoulder;'orthelump。'
'Halfthelumpwillbewaste-paper,oneknowsbeforehand,'saidFledgeby。'Canyougetitatwaste-paperprice?That'sthequestion。'
Riahshookhishead,andFledgebycasthissmalleyesdownthelist。Theypresentlybegantotwinkle,andhenosoonerbecameconsciousoftheirtwinkling,thanhelookedupoverhisshoulderatthegravefaceabovehim,andmovedtothechimney-piece。
Makingadeskofit,hestoodtherewithhisbacktotheoldman,warminghisknees,perusingthelistathisleisure,andoftenreturningtosomelinesofit,asthoughtheywereparticularlyinteresting。Atthosetimesheglancedinthechimney-glasstoseewhatnotetheoldmantookofhim。Hetooknonethatcouldbedetected,but,awareofhisemployer'ssuspicions,stoodwithhiseyesontheground。
MrFledgebywasthusamiablyengagedwhenastepwasheardattheouterdoor,andthedoorwasheardtoopenhastily。'Hark!
That'syourdoing,youPumpofIsrael,'saidFledgeby;'youcan'thaveshutit。'Thenthestepwasheardwithin,andthevoiceofMrAlfredLammlecalledaloud,'Areyouanywherehere,Fledgeby?'
TowhichFledgeby,aftercautioningRiahinalowvoicetotakehiscueasitshouldbegivenhim,replied,'HereIam!'andopenedhisbedroomdoor。
'Comein!'saidFledgeby。'ThisgentlemanisonlyPubseyandCo。
ofSaintMaryAxe,thatIamtryingtomaketermsforanunfortunatefriendwithinamatterofsomedishonouredbills。ButreallyPubseyandCo。aresostrictwiththeirdebtors,andsohardtomove,thatIseemtobewastingmytime。Can'tImakeANY
termswithyouonmyfriend'spart,MrRiah?'
'Iambuttherepresentativeofanother,sir,'returnedtheJewinalowvoice。'IdoasIambiddenbymyprincipal。Itisnotmycapitalthatisinvestedinthebusiness。Itisnotmyprofitthatarisestherefrom。'
'Haha!'laughedFledgeby。'Lammle?'
'Haha!'laughedLammle。'Yes。Ofcourse。Weknow。'
'Devilishgood,ain'tit,Lammle?'saidFledgeby,unspeakablyamusedbyhishiddenjoke。
'Alwaysthesame,alwaysthesame!'saidLammle。'Mr——'
'Riah,PubseyandCo。SaintMaryAxe,'Fledgebyputin,ashewipedawaythetearsthattrickledfromhiseyes,sorarewashisenjoymentofhissecretjoke。
'MrRiahisboundtoobservetheinvaRiahleformsforsuchcasesmadeandprovided,'saidLammle。
'Heisonlytherepresentativeofanother!'criedFledgeby。'Doesasheistoldbyhisprincipal!Nothiscapitalthat'sinvestedinthebusiness。Oh,that'sgood!Hahahaha!'MrLammlejoinedinthelaughandlookedknowing;andthemorehedidboth,themoreexquisitethesecretjokebecameforMrFledgeby。
'However,'saidthatfascinatinggentleman,wipinghiseyesagain,'ifwegooninthisway,weshallseemtobealmostmakinggameofMrRiah,orofPubseyandCo。SaintMaryAxe,orofsomebody:
whichisfarfromourintention。MrRiah,ifyouwouldhavethekindnesstostepintothenextroomforafewmomentswhileI
speakwithMrLammlehere,Ishouldliketotrytomaketermswithyouonceagainbeforeyougo。'
Theoldman,whohadneverraisedhiseyesduringthewholetransactionofMrFledgeby'sjoke,silentlybowedandpassedoutbythedoorwhichFledgebyopenedforhim。Havingcloseditonhim,FledgebyreturnedtoLammle,standingwithhisbacktothebedroomfire,withonehandunderhiscoat-skirts,andallhiswhiskersintheother。
'Halloa!'saidFledgeby。'There'ssomethingwrong!'
'Howdoyouknowit?'demandedLammle。
'Becauseyoushowit,'repliedFledgebyinunintentionalrhyme。
'Wellthen;thereis,'saidLammle;'thereISsomethingwrong;thewholething'swrong。'
'Isay!'remonstratedFascinationveryslowly,andsittingdownwithhishandsonhiskneestostareathisgloweringfriendwithhisbacktothefire。
'Itellyou,Fledgeby,'repeatedLammle,withasweepofhisrightarm,'thewholething'swrong。Thegame'sup。'
'Whatgame'sup?'demandedFledgeby,asslowlyasbefore,andmoresternly。
'THEgame。OURgame。Readthat。'
Fledgebytookanotefromhisextendedhandandreaditaloud。
'AlfredLammle,Esquire。Sir:AllowMrsPodsnapandmyselftoexpressourunitedsenseofthepoliteattentionsofMrsAlfredLammleandyourselftowardsourdaughter,Georgiana。Allowusalso,whollytorejectthemforthefuture,andtocommunicateourfinaldesirethatthetwofamiliesmaybecomeentirestrangers。I
havethehonourtobe,Sir,yourmostobedientandveryhumbleservant,JOHNPODSNAP。'Fledgebylookedatthethreeblanksidesofthisnote,quiteaslongandearnestlyasatthefirstexpressiveside,andthenlookedatLammle,whorespondedwithanotherextensivesweepofhisrightarm。
'Whosedoingisthis?'saidFledgeby。
'Impossibletoimagine,'saidLammle。
'Perhaps,'suggestedFledgeby,afterreflectingwithaverydiscontentedbrow,'somebodyhasbeengivingyouabadcharacter。'
'Oryou,'saidLammle,withadeeperfrown。
MrFledgebyappearedtobeonthevergeofsomemutinousexpressions,whenhishandhappenedtotouchhisnose。Acertainremembranceconnectedwiththatfeatureoperatingasatimelywarning,hetookitthoughtfullybetweenhisthumbandforefinger,andpondered;Lammlemeanwhileeyeinghimwithfurtiveeyes。
'Well!'saidFledgeby。'Thiswon'timprovewithtalkingabout。Ifweeverfindoutwhodidit,we'llmarkthatperson。There'snothingmoretobesaid,exceptthatyouundertooktodowhatcircumstancespreventyourdoing。'
'Andthatyouundertooktodowhatyoumighthavedonebythistime,ifyouhadmadeaprompteruseofcircumstances,'snarledLammle。
'Hah!That,'remarkedFledgeby,withhishandsintheTurkishtrousers,'ismatterofopinion。'
'MrFledgeby,'saidLammle,inabullyingtone,'amItounderstandthatyouinanywayreflectuponme,orhintdissatisfactionwithme,inthisaffair?'
'No,'saidFledgeby;'providedyouhavebroughtmypromissorynoteinyourpocket,andnowhanditover。'
Lammleproducedit,notwithoutreluctance。Fledgebylookedatit,identifiedit,twisteditup,andthrewitintothefire。Theybothlookedatitasitblazed,wentout,andflewinfeatheryashupthechimney。
'NOW,MrFledgeby,'saidLammle,asbefore;'amItounderstandthatyouinanywayreflectuponme,orhintdissatisfactionwithme,inthisaffair?'
'No,'saidFledgeby。
'Finallyandunreservedlyno?'
'Yes。'
'Fledgeby,myhand。'
MrFledgebytookit,saying,'Andifweeverfindoutwhodidthis,we'llmarkthatperson。Andinthemostfriendlymanner,letmementiononethingmore。Idon'tknowwhatyourcircumstancesare,andIdon'task。Youhavesustainedalosshere。Manymenareliabletobeinvolvedattimes,andyoumaybe,oryoumaynotbe。Butwhateveryoudo,Lammle,don't——don't——don't,Ibegofyou——everfallintothehandsofPubseyandCo。inthenextroom,fortheyaregrinders。Regularflayersandgrinders,mydearLammle,'repeatedFledgebywithapeculiarrelish,'andthey'llskinyoubytheinch,fromthenapeofyournecktothesoleofyourfoot,andgrindeveryinchofyourskintotooth-powder。YouhaveseenwhatMrRiahis。Neverfallintohishands,Lammle,Ibegofyouasafriend!'
MrLammle,disclosingsomealarmatthesolemnityofthisaffectionateadjuration,demandedwhythedevilheevershouldfallintothehandsofPubseyandCo。?
'Toconfessthefact,Iwasmadealittleuneasy,'saidthecandidFledgeby,'bythemannerinwhichthatJewlookedatyouwhenheheardyourname。Ididn'tlikehiseye。Butitmayhavebeentheheatedfancyofafriend。Ofcourseifyouaresurethatyouhavenopersonalsecurityout,whichyoumaynotbequiteequaltomeeting,andwhichcanhavegotintohishands,itmusthavebeenfancy。Still,Ididn'tlikehiseye。'
ThebroodingLammle,withcertainwhitedintscomingandgoinginhispalpitatingnose,lookedasifsometormentingimpwerepinchingit。Fledgeby,watchinghimwithatwitchinhismeanfacewhichdiddutythereforasmile,lookedverylikethetormentorwhowaspinching。
'ButImustn'tkeephimwaitingtoolong,'saidFledgeby,'orhe'llrevengeitonmyunfortunatefriend。How'syourverycleverandagreeablewife?Sheknowswehavebrokendown?'
'Ishowedhertheletter。'
'Verymuchsurprised?'askedFledgeby。
'Ithinkshewouldhavebeenmoreso,'answeredLammle,'iftherehadbeenmoregoinYOU?'
'Oh!——Shelaysituponme,then?'
'MrFledgeby,Iwillnothavemywordsmisconstrued。'
'Don'tbreakout,Lammle,'urgedFledgeby,inasubmissivetone,'becausethere'snooccasion。Ionlyaskedaquestion。Thenshedon'tlayituponme?Toaskanotherquestion。'
'No,sir。'
'Verygood,'saidFledgeby,plainlyseeingthatshedid。'Mycomplimentstoher。Good-bye!'
Theyshookhands,andLammlestrodeoutpondering。Fledgebysawhimintothefog,and,returningtothefireandmusingwithhisfacetoit,stretchedthelegsoftherose-colouredTurkishtrouserswideapart,andmeditativelybenthisknees,asifheweregoingdownuponthem。
'Youhaveapairofwhiskers,Lammle,whichIneverliked,'
murmuredFledgeby,'andwhichmoneycan'tproduce;youareboastfulofyourmannersandyourconversation;youwantedtopullmynose,andyouhaveletmeinforafailure,andyourwifesaysIamthecauseofit。I'llbowlyoudown。Iwill,thoughIhavenowhiskers,'hereherubbedtheplaceswheretheyweredue,'andnomanners,andnoconversation!'
Havingthusrelievedhisnoblemind,hecollectedthelegsoftheTurkishtrousers,straightenedhimselfonhisknees,andcalledouttoRiahinthenextroom,'Halloa,yousir!'Atsightoftheoldmanre-enteringwithagentlenessmonstrouslyincontrastwiththecharacterhehadgivenhim,MrFledgebywassotickledagain,thatheexclaimed,laughing,'Good!Good!Uponmysoulitisuncommongood!'
'Now,old'un,'proceededFledgeby,whenhehadhadhislaughout,'you'llbuyuptheselotsthatImarkwithmypencil——there'satickthere,andatickthere,andatickthere——andIwagertwo-penceyou'llafterwardsgoonsqueezingthoseChristiansliketheJewyouare。Now,nextyou'llwantacheque——oryou'llsayyouwantit,thoughyou'vecapitalenoughsomewhere,ifoneonlyknewwhere,butyou'dbepepperedandsaltedandgrilledonagridironbeforeyou'downtoit——andthatchequeI'llwrite。'
Whenhehadunlockedadrawerandtakenakeyfromittoopenanotherdrawer,inwhichwasanotherkeythatopenedanotherdrawer,inwhichwasanotherkeythatopenedanotherdrawer,inwhichwasthechequebook;andwhenhehadwrittenthecheque;
andwhen,reversingthekeyanddrawerprocess,hehadplacedhischequebookinsafetyagain;hebeckonedtheoldman,withthefoldedcheque,tocomeandtakeit。
'Old'un,'saidFledgeby,whentheJewhadputitinhispocketbook,andwasputtingthatinthebreastofhisoutergarment;'somuchatpresentformyaffairs。Nowawordaboutaffairsthatarenotexactlymine。Whereisshe?'
Withhishandnotyetwithdrawnfromthebreastofhisgarment,Riahstartedandpaused。
'Oho!'saidFledgeby。'Didn'texpectit!Wherehaveyouhiddenher?'
Showingthathewastakenbysurprise,theoldmanlookedathismasterwithsomepassingconfusion,whichthemasterhighlyenjoyed。
'IssheinthehouseIpayrentandtaxesforinSaintMaryAxe?'
demandedFledgeby。
'No,sir。'
'Issheinyourgardenupatopofthathouse——goneuptobedead,orwhateverthegameis?'askedFledgeby。
'No,sir。'
'Whereisshethen?'
Riahbenthiseyesupontheground,asifconsideringwhetherhecouldanswerthequestionwithoutbreachoffaith,andthensilentlyraisedthemtoFledgeby'sface,asifhecouldnot。
'Come!'saidFledgeby。'Iwon'tpressthatjustnow。ButIwanttoknowthis,andIwillknowthis,mindyou。Whatareyouupto?'
Theoldman,withanapologeticactionofhisheadandhands,asnotcomprehendingthemaster'smeaning,addressedtohimalookofmuteinquiry。
'Youcan'tbeagallivantingdodger,'saidFledgeby。'Foryou'rea“regularpitythesorrows“,youknow——ifyouDOknowanyChristianrhyme——“whosetremblinglimbshavebornehimto“——etcetrer。You'reoneofthePatriarchs;you'reashakyoldcard;andyoucan'tbeinlovewiththisLizzie?'
'O,sir!'expostulatedRiah。'O,sir,sir,sir!'
'Thenwhy,'retortedFledgeby,withsomeslighttingeofablush,'don'tyououtwithyourreasonforhavingyourspooninthesoupatall?'
'Sir,Iwilltellyouthetruth。Butyourpardonforthestipulationitisinsacredconfidence;itisstrictlyuponhonour。'
'Honourtoo!'criedFledgeby,withamockinglip。'HonouramongJews。Well。Cutaway。'
'Itisuponhonour,sir?'theotherstillstipulated,withrespectfulfirmness。
'Oh,certainly。Honourbright,'saidFledgeby。
Theoldman,neverbiddentositdown,stoodwithanearnesthandlaidonthebackoftheyoungman'seasychair。Theyoungmansatlookingatthefirewithafaceoflisteningcuriosity,readytocheckhimoffandcatchhimtripping。
'Cutaway,'saidFledgeby。'Startwithyourmotive。'
'Sir,Ihavenomotivebuttohelpthehelpless。'
MrFledgebycouldonlyexpressthefeelingstowhichthisincrediblestatementgaveriseinhisbreast,byaprodigiouslylongderisivesniff。
'HowIcametoknow,andmuchtoesteemandtorespect,thisdamsel,Imentionedwhenyousawherinmypoorgardenonthehouse-top,'saidtheJew。
'Didyou?'saidFledgeby,distrustfully。'Well。Perhapsyoudid,though。'
'ThebetterIknewher,themoreinterestIfeltinherfortunes。Theygatheredtoacrisis。Ifoundherbesetbyaselfishandungratefulbrother,besetbyanunacceptablewooer,besetbythesnaresofamorepowerfullover,besetbythewilesofherownheart。'
'Shetooktooneofthechapsthen?'
'Sir,itwasonlynaturalthatsheshouldinclinetowardshim,forhehadmanyandgreatadvantages。Buthewasnotofherstation,andtomarryherwasnotinhismind。Perilswereclosingroundher,andthecirclewasfastdarkening,whenI——beingasyouhavesaid,sir,toooldandbrokentobesuspectedofanyfeelingforherbutafather's——steppedin,andcounselledflight。Isaid,“Mydaughter,therearetimesofmoraldangerwhenthehardestvirtuousresolutiontoformisflight,andwhenthemostheroicbraveryisflight。”Sheanswered,shehadhadthisinherthoughts;butwhithertoflywithouthelpsheknewnot,andtherewerenonetohelpher。Ishowedhertherewasonetohelpher,anditwasI。
Andsheisgone。'
'Whatdidyoudowithher?'askedFledgeby,feelinghischeek。
'Iplacedher,'saidtheoldman,'atadistance;'withagravesmoothoutwardsweepfromoneanotherofhistwoopenhandsatarm'slength;'atadistance——amongcertainofourpeople,whereherindustrywouldserveher,andwhereshecouldhopetoexerciseit,unassailedfromanyquarter。'
Fledgeby'seyeshadcomefromthefiretonoticetheactionofhishandswhenhesaid'atadistance。'Fledgebynowtriedveryunsuccessfullytoimitatethataction,asheshookhisheadandsaid,'Placedherinthatdirection,didyou?Ohyoucircularolddodger!'
Withonehandacrosshisbreastandtheotherontheeasychair,Riah,withoutjustifyinghimself,waitedforfurtherquestioning。
But,thatitwashopelesstoquestionhimonthatonereservedpoint,Fledgeby,withhissmalleyestooneartogether,sawfullwell。
'Lizzie,'saidFledgeby,lookingatthefireagain,andthenlookingup。'Humph,Lizzie。Youdidn'ttellmetheothernameinyourgardenatopofthehouse。I'llbemorecommunicativewithyou。
Theothername'sHexam。'
Riahbenthisheadinassent。
'Lookhere,yousir,'saidFledgeby。'IhaveanotionIknowsomethingoftheinveiglingchap,thepowerfulone。Hasheanythingtodowiththelaw?'
'Nominally,Ibelieveithiscalling。'
'Ithoughtso。NameanythinglikeLightwood?'
'Sir,notatalllike。'
'Come,old'un,'saidFledgeby,meetinghiseyeswithawink,'saythename。'
'Wrayburn。'
'ByJupiter!'criedFledgeby。'Thatone,isit?Ithoughtitmightbetheother,butIneverdreamtofthatone!Ishouldn'tobjecttoyourbaulkingeitherofthepair,dodger,fortheyarebothconceitedenough;butthatoneisascoolacustomeraseverImetwith。Gotabeardbesides,andpresumesuponit。Welldone,old'un!Goonandprosper!'
Brightenedbythisunexpectedcommendation,Riahaskedweretheremoreinstructionsforhim?
'No,'saidFledgeby,'youmaytoddlenow,Judah,andgropeaboutontheordersyouhavegot。'Dismissedwiththosepleasingwords,theoldmantookhisbroadhatandstaff,andleftthegreatpresence:moreasifheweresomesuperiorcreaturebenignantlyblessingMrFledgeby,thanthepoordependentonwhomhesethisfoot。Leftalone,MrFledgebylockedhisouterdoor,andcamebacktohisfire。
'Welldoneyou!'saidFascinationtohimself。'Slow,youmaybe;
sure,youare!'Thishetwiceorthricerepeatedwithmuchcomplacency,asheagaindispersedthelegsoftheTurkishtrousersandbenttheknees。
'Atidyshotthat,Iflattermyself,'hethensoliloquised。'AndaJewbroughtdownwithit!Now,whenIheardthestorytoldatLammle's,Ididn'tmakeajumpatRiah。Notahitofit;Igotathimbydegrees。'Hereinhewasquiteaccurate;itbeinghishabit,nottojump,orleap,ormakeanupwardspring,atanythinginlife,buttocrawlateverything。
'Igotathim,'pursuedFledgeby,feelingforhiswhisker,'bydegrees。IfyourLammlesoryourLightwoodshadgotathimanyhow,theywouldhaveaskedhimthequestionwhetherhehadn'tsomethingtodowiththatgal'sdisappearance。Iknewabetterwayofgoingtowork。Havinggotbehindthehedge,andputhiminthelight,Itookashotathimandbroughthimdownplump。
Oh!Itdon'tcountformuch,beingaJew,inamatchagainstME!'
Anotherdrytwistinplaceofasmile,madehisfacecrookedhere。
'AstoChristians,'proceededFledgeby,'lookout,fellow-
Christians,particularlyyouthatlodgeinQueerStreet!IhavegottherunofQueerStreetnow,andyoushallseesomegamesthere。
Toworkalotofpoweroveryouandyounotknowit,knowingasyouthinkyourselves,wouldbealmostworthlayingoutmoneyupon。Butwhenitcomestosqueezingaprofitoutofyouintothebargain,it'ssomethinglike!'
WiththisapostropheMrFledgebyappropriatelyproceededtodivesthimselfofhisTurkishgarments,andinvesthimselfwithChristianattire。Pendingwhichoperation,andhismorningablutions,andhisanointingofhimselfwiththelastinfalliblepreparationfortheproductionofluxuriantandglossyhairuponthehumancountenancequacksbeingtheonlysageshebelievedinbesidesusurers,themurkyfogclosedabouthimandshuthimupinitssootyembrace。Ifithadneverlethimoutanymore,theworldwouldhavehadnoirreparableloss,butcouldhaveeasilyreplacedhimfromitsstockonhand。
Chapter2
ARESPECTEDFRIENDINANEWASPECT
Intheeveningofthissamefoggydaywhentheyellowwindow-
blindofPubseyandCo。wasdrawndownupontheday'swork,RiahtheJewoncemorecameforthintoSaintMaryAxe。Butthistimehecarriednobag,andwasnotboundonhismaster'saffairs。
HepassedoverLondonBridge,andreturnedtotheMiddlesexshorebythatofWestminster,andso,everwadingthroughthefog,wadedtothedoorstepofthedolls'dressmaker。
MissWrenexpectedhim。Hecouldseeherthroughthewindowbythelightofherlowfire——carefullybankedupwithdampcindersthatitmightlastthelongerandwastethelesswhenshewasout——
sittingwaitingforhiminherbonnet。Histapattheglassrousedherfromthemusingsolitudeinwhichshesat,andshecametothedoortoopenit;aidingherstepswithalittlecrutch-stick。
'Goodevening,godmother!'saidMissJennyWren。
Theoldmanlaughed,andgaveherhisarmtoleanon。
'Won'tyoucomeinandwarmyourself,godmother?'askedMissJennyWren。
'Notifyouareready,Cinderella,mydear。'
'Well!'exclaimedMissWren,delighted。'NowyouAREacleveroldboy!Ifwegaveprizesatthisestablishmentbutweonlykeepblanks,youshouldhavethefirstsilvermedal,fortakingmeupsoquick。'Asshespakethus,MissWrenremovedthekeyofthehouse-doorfromthekeyholeandputitinherpocket,andthenbustlinglyclosedthedoor,andtrieditastheybothstoodonthestep。Satisfiedthatherdwellingwassafe,shedrewonehandthroughtheoldman'sarmandpreparedtoplyhercrutch-stickwiththeother。Butthekeywasaninstrumentofsuchgiganticproportions,thatbeforetheystartedRiahproposedtocarryit。
'No,no,no!I'llcarryitmyself,'returnedMissWren。'I'mawfullylopsided,youknow,andstoweddowninmypocketit'lltrimtheship。Toletyouintoasecret,godmother,Iwearmypocketonmyhighside,o'purpose。'
Withthattheybegantheirploddingthroughthefog。
'Yes,itwastrulysharpofyou,godmother,'resumedMissWrenwithgreatapprobation,'tounderstandme。But,yousee,youARE
solikethefairygodmotherinthebrightlittlebooks!Youlooksounliketherestofpeople,andsomuchasifyouhadchangedyourselfintothatshape,justthismoment,withsomebenevolentobject。Boh!'criedMissJenny,puttingherfaceclosetotheoldman's。'Icanseeyourfeatures,godmother,behindthebeard。'
'Doesthefancygotomychangingotherobjectstoo,Jenny?'
'Ah!Thatitdoes!Ifyou'donlyborrowmystickandtapthispieceofpavement——thisdirtystonethatmyfoottaps——itwouldstartupacoachandsix。Isay!Let'sbelieveso!'
'Withallmyheart,'repliedthegoodoldman。
'AndI'lltellyouwhatImustaskyoutodo,godmother。Imustaskyoutobesokindasgivemychildatap,andchangehimaltogether。Omychildhasbeensuchabad,badchildoflate!Itworriesmenearlyoutofmywits。Notdoneastrokeofworkthesetendays。Hashadthehorrors,too,andfanciedthatfourcopper-
colouredmeninredwantedtothrowhimintoafieryfurnace。'
'Butthat'sdangerous,Jenny。'
'Dangerous,godmother?Mychildisalwaysdangerous,moreorless。Hemight'——herethelittlecreatureglancedbackoverhershoulderatthesky——'besettingthehouseonfireatthispresentmoment。Idon'tknowwhowouldhaveachild,formypart!It'snouseshakinghim。IhaveshakenhimtillIhavemademyselfgiddy。“Whydon'tyoumindyourCommandmentsandhonouryourparent,younaughtyoldboy?“Isaidtohimallthetime。Butheonlywhimperedandstaredatme。'
'Whatshallbechanged,afterhim?'askedRiahinacompassionatelyplayfulvoice。
'Uponmyword,godmother,IamafraidImustbeselfishnext,andgetyoutosetmerightinthebackandthelegs。It'salittlethingtoyouwithyourpower,godmother,butit'sagreatdealtopoorweakachingme。'
Therewasnoquerulouscomplaininginthewords,buttheywerenotthelesstouchingforthat。
'Andthen?'
'Yes,andthen——YOUknow,godmother。We'llbothjumpupintothecoachandsixandgotoLizzie。Thisremindsme,godmother,toaskyouaseriousquestion。Youareaswiseaswisecanbehavingbeenbroughtupbythefairies,andyoucantellmethis:Isitbettertohavehadagoodthingandlostit,ornevertohavehadit?'
'Explain,god-daughter。'
'IfeelsomuchmoresolitaryandhelplesswithoutLizzienow,thanIusedtofeelbeforeIknewher。'Tearswereinhereyesasshesaidso。
'Somebelovedcompanionshipfadesoutofmostlives,mydear,'
saidtheJew,——'thatofawife,andafairdaughter,andasonofpromise,hasfadedoutofmyownlife——butthehappinesswas。'
'Ah!'saidMissWrenthoughtfully,bynomeansconvinced,andchoppingtheexclamationwiththatsharplittlehatchetofhers;
'thenItellyouwhatchangeIthinkyouhadbetterbeginwith,godmother。YouhadbetterchangeIsintoWasandWasintoIs,andkeepthemso。'
'Wouldthatsuityourcase?Wouldyounotbealwaysinpainthen?'askedtheoldmantenderly。
'Right!'exclaimedMissWrenwithanotherchop。'Youhavechangedmewiser,godmother——Not,'sheaddedwiththequainthitchofherchinandeyes,'thatyouneedbeaverywonderfulgodmothertodothatdeed。'
Thusconversing,andhavingcrossedWestminsterBridge,theytraversedthegroundthatRiahhadlatelytraversed,andnewgroundlikewise;for,whentheyhadrecrossedtheThamesbywayofLondonBridge,theystruckdownbytheriverandheldtheirstillfoggiercoursethatway。
Butpreviously,astheyweregoingalong,Jennytwistedhervenerablefriendasidetoabrilliantly-lightedtoy-shopwindow,andsaid:'Nowlookat'em!Allmywork!'
Thisreferredtoadazzlingsemicircleofdollsinallthecoloursoftherainbow,whoweredressedforpresentationatcourt,forgoingtoballs,forgoingoutdriving,forgoingoutonhorseback,forgoingoutwalking,forgoingtogetmarried,forgoingtohelpotherdollstogetmarried,forallthegayeventsoflife。'
'Pretty,pretty,pretty!'saidtheoldmanwithaclapofhishands。
'Mosteleganttaste!'
'Gladyoulike'em,'returnedMissWren,loftily。'Butthefunis,godmother,howImakethegreatladiestrymydresseson。Thoughit'sthehardestpartofmybusiness,andwouldbe,evenifmybackwerenotbadandmylegsqueer。'
Helookedatherasnotunderstandingwhatshesaid。
'Blessyou,godmother,'saidMissWren,'Ihavetoscudabouttownatallhours。Ifitwasonlysittingatmybench,cuttingoutandsewing,itwouldbecomparativelyeasywork;butit'sthetrying-onbythegreatladiesthattakesitoutofme。'
'How,thetrying-on?'askedRiah。
'Whatamooneygodmotheryouare,afterall!'returnedMissWren。
'Lookhere。There'saDrawingRoom,oragranddayinthePark,oraShow,oraFete,orwhatyoulike。Verywell。Isqueezeamongthecrowd,andIlookaboutme。WhenIseeagreatladyverysuitableformybusiness,Isay“You'lldo,mydear!'andItakeparticularnoticeofher,andrunhomeandcutheroutandbasteher。Thenanotherday,Icomescuddingbackagaintotryon,andthenItakeparticularnoticeofheragain。Sometimessheplainlyseemstosay,'Howthatlittlecreatureisstaring!'andsometimeslikesitandsometimesdon't,butmuchmoreoftenyesthanno。AllthetimeIamonlysayingtomyself,“Imusthollowoutabithere;I
mustslopeawaythere;“andIammakingaperfectslaveofher,withmakinghertryonmydoll'sdress。Eveningpartiesaresevererworkforme,becausethere'sonlyadoorwayforafullview,andwhatwithhobblingamongthewheelsofthecarriagesandthelegsofthehorses,Ifullyexpecttoberunoversomenight。However,thereIhave'em,justthesame。Whentheygobobbingintothehallfromthecarriage,andcatchaglimpseofmylittlephysiognomypokedoutfrombehindapoliceman'scapeintherain,IdaresaytheythinkIamwonderingandadmiringwithallmyeyesandheart,buttheylittlethinkthey'reonlyworkingformydolls!TherewasLadyBelindaWhitrose。Imadeherdodoubledutyinonenight。Isaidwhenshecameoutofthecarriage,“YOU'lldo,mydear!“andIranstraighthomeandcutheroutandbastedher。BackIcameagain,andwaitedbehindthementhatcalledthecarriages。Verybadnighttoo。Atlast,“LadyBelindaWhitrose'scarriage!LadyBelindaWhitrosecomingdown!“AndImadehertryon——oh!andtakepainsaboutittoo——beforeshegotseated。That'sLadyBelindahangingupbythewaist,muchtoonearthegaslightforawaxone,withhertoesturnedin。'
Whentheyhadploddedonforsometimenightheriver,RiahaskedthewaytoacertaintaverncalledtheSixJollyFellowshipPorters。Followingthedirectionshereceived,theyarrived,aftertwoorthreepuzzledstoppagesforconsideration,andsomeuncertainlookingaboutthem,atthedoorofMissAbbeyPotterson'sdominions。Apeepthroughtheglassportionofthedoorrevealedtothemthegloriesofthebar,andMissAbbeyherselfseatedinstateonhersnugthrone,readingthenewspaper。
Towhom,withdeference,theypresentedthemselves。
Takinghereyesoffhernewspaper,andpausingwithasuspendedexpressionofcountenance,asifshemustfinishtheparagraphinhandbeforeundertakinganyotherbusinesswhatever,MissAbbeydemanded,withsomeslightasperity:'Nowthen,what'sforyou?'
'CouldweseeMissPotterson?'askedtheoldman,uncoveringhishead。
'Younotonlycould,butyoucanandyoudo,'repliedthehostess。
'Mightwespeakwithyou,madam?'
BythistimeMissAbbey'seyeshadpossessedthemselvesofthesmallfigureofMissJennyWren。Forthecloserobservationofwhich,MissAbbeylaidasidehernewspaper,rose,andlookedoverthehalf-doorofthebar。Thecrutch-stickseemedtoentreatforitsownerleavetocomeinandrestbythefire;so,MissAbbeyopenedthehalf-door,andsaid,asthoughreplyingtothecrutch-
stick:
'Yes,comeinandrestbythefire。'
'MynameisRiah,'saidtheoldman,withcourteousaction,'andmyavocationisinLondoncity。This,myyoungcompanion——'
'Stopabit,'interposedMissWren。'I'llgivetheladymycard。'Sheproduceditfromherpocketwithanair,afterstrugglingwiththegiganticdoor-keywhichhadgotuponthetopofitandkeptitdown。MissAbbey,withmanifesttokensofastonishment,tookthediminutivedocument,andfoundittorunconciselythus:——
MISSJENNYWREN
DOLLS'DRESSMAKER。
Dollsattendedattheirownresidences。
'Lud!'exclaimedMissPotterson,staring。Anddroppedthecard。
'Wetakethelibertyofcoming,myyoungcompanionandI,madam,'saidRiah,'onbehalfofLizzieHexam。'
MissPottersonwasstoopingtoloosenthebonnet-stringsofthedolls'dressmaker。Shelookedroundratherangrily,andsaid:
'LizzieHexamisaveryproudyoungwoman。'
'Shewouldbesoproud,'returnedRiah,dexterously,'tostandwellinyourgoodopinion,thatbeforeshequittedLondonfor——'
'Forwhere,inthenameoftheCapeofGoodHope?'askedMissPotterson,asthoughsupposinghertohaveemigrated。
'Forthecountry,'wasthecautiousanswer,——'shemadeuspromisetocomeandshowyouapaper,whichsheleftinourhandsforthatspecialpurpose。Iamanunserviceablefriendofhers,whobegantoknowherafterherdeparturefromthisneighbourhood。Shehasbeenforsometimelivingwithmyyoungcompanion,andhasbeenahelpfulandacomfortablefriendtoher。Muchneeded,madam,'
headded,inalowervoice。'Believeme;ifyouknewall,muchneeded。'
'Icanbelievethat,'saidMissAbbey,withasofteningglanceatthelittlecreature。
'Andifit'sproudtohaveaheartthatneverhardens,andatemperthatnevertires,andatouchthatneverhurts,'MissJennystruckin,flushed,'sheisproud。Andifit'snot,sheisNOT。'
HersetpurposeofcontradictingMissAbbeypointblank,wassofarfromoffendingthatdreadauthority,astoelicitagracioussmile。'Youdoright,child,'saidMissAbbey,'tospeakwellofthosewhodeservewellofyou。'
'Rightorwrong,'mutteredMissWren,inaudibly,withavisiblehitchofherchin,'Imeantodoit,andyoumaymakeupyourmindtoTHAT,oldlady。'
'Hereisthepaper,madam,'saidtheJew,deliveringintoMissPotterson'shandstheoriginaldocumentdrawnupbyRokesmith,andsignedbyRiderhood。'Willyoupleasetoreadit?'
'Butfirstofall,'saidMissAbbey,'——didyouevertasteshrub,child?'
MissWrenshookherhead。
'Shouldyouliketo?'
'Shouldifit'sgood,'returnedMissWren。
'Youshalltry。And,ifyoufinditgood,I'llmixsomeforyouwithhotwater。Putyourpoorlittlefeetonthefender。It'sacold,coldnight,andthefogclingsso。'AsMissAbbeyhelpedhertoturnherchair,herloosenedbonnetdroppedonthefloor。'Why,whatlovelyhair!'criedMissAbbey。'Andenoughtomakewigsforallthedollsintheworld。Whataquantity!'
'CallTHATaquantity?'returnedMissWren。'Poof!Whatdoyousaytotherestofit?'Asshespoke,sheuntiedaband,andthegoldenstreamfelloverherselfandoverthechair,andfloweddowntotheground。MissAbbey'sadmirationseemedtoincreaseherperplexity。ShebeckonedtheJewtowardsher,asshereacheddowntheshrub-bottlefromitsniche,andwhispered:
'Child,orwoman?'
'Childinyears,'wastheanswer;'womaninself-relianceandtrial。'
'YouaretalkingaboutMe,goodpeople,'thoughtMissJenny,sittinginhergoldenbower,warmingherfeet。'Ican'thearwhatyousay,butIknowyourtricksandyourmanners!'
Theshrub,whentastedfromaspoon,perfectlyharmonizingwithMissJenny'spalate,ajudiciousamountwasmixedbyMissPotterson'sskilfulhands,whereofRiahtoopartook。Afterthispreliminary,MissAbbeyreadthedocument;and,asoftenassheraisedhereyebrowsinsodoing,thewatchfulMissJennyaccompaniedtheactionwithanexpressiveandemphaticsipoftheshrubandwater。
'Asfarasthisgoes,'saidMissAbbeyPotterson,whenshehadreaditseveraltimes,andthoughtaboutit,'itproveswhatdidn'tmuchneedprovingthatRogueRiderhoodisavillain。Ihavemydoubtswhetherheisnotthevillainwhosolelydidthedeed;butI
havenoexpectationofthosedoubtseverbeingclearedupnow。I
believeIdidLizzie'sfatherwrong,butneverLizzie'sself;becausewhenthingswereattheworstItrustedher,hadperfectconfidenceinher,andtriedtopersuadehertocometomeforarefuge。Iamverysorrytohavedoneamanwrong,particularlywhenitcan'tbeundone。BekindenoughtoletLizzieknowwhatIsay;notforgettingthatifshewillcometothePorters,afterall,bygonesbeingbygones,shewillfindahomeatthePorters,andafriendatthePorters。SheknowsMissAbbeyofold,remindher,andsheknowswhat-likethehome,andwhat-likethefriend,islikelytoturnout。Iamgenerallyshortandsweet——orshortandsour,accordingasitmaybeandasopinionsvary——'remarkedMissAbbey,'andthat'saboutallIhavegottosay,andenoughtoo。'
Butbeforetheshrubandwaterwassippedout,MissAbbeybethoughtherselfthatshewouldliketokeepacopyofthepaperbyher。'It'snotlong,sir,'saidshetoRiah,'andperhapsyouwouldn'tmindjustjottingitdown。'Theoldmanwillinglyputonhisspectacles,and,standingatthelittledeskinthecornerwhereMissAbbeyfiledherreceiptsandkepthersamplephialscustomers'scoreswereinterdictedbythestrictadministrationofthePorters,wroteoutthecopyinafairroundcharacter。Ashestoodthere,doinghismethodicalpenmanship,hisancientscribelikefigureintentuponthework,andthelittledolls'
dressmakersittinginhergoldenbowerbeforethefire,MissAbbeyhadherdoubtswhethershehadnotdreamedthosetworarefiguresintothebaroftheSixJollyFellowships,andmightnotwakewithanodnextmomentandfindthemgone。
MissAbbeyhadtwicemadetheexperimentofshuttinghereyesandopeningthemagain,stillfindingthefiguresthere,when,dreamlike,aconfusedhubbubaroseinthepublicroom。Asshestartedup,andtheyallthreelookedatoneanother,itbecameanoiseofclamouringvoicesandofthestiroffeet;thenallthewindowswereheardtobehastilythrownup,andshoutsandcriescamefloatingintothehousefromtheriver。Amomentmore,andBobGlidderycameclatteringalongthepassage,withthenoiseofallthenailsinhisbootscondensedintoeveryseparatenail。
'Whatisit?'askedMissAbbey。
'It'ssummutrundowninthefog,ma'am,'answeredBob。'There'seversomanypeopleintheriver。'
'Tell'emtoputonallthekettles!'criedMissAbbey。'Seethattheboiler'sfull。Getabathout。Hangsomeblanketstothefire。Heatsomestonebottles。Haveyoursensesaboutyou,yougirlsdownstairs,anduse'em。'
WhileMissAbbeypartlydeliveredthesedirectionstoBob——whomsheseizedbythehair,andwhoseheadsheknockedagainstthewall,asageneralinjunctiontovigilanceandpresenceofmind——
andpartlyhailedthekitchenwiththem——thecompanyinthepublicroom,jostlingoneanother,rushedouttothecauseway,andtheouternoiseincreased。
'Comeandlook,'saidMissAbbeytohervisitors。Theyallthreehurriedtothevacatedpublicroom,andpassedbyoneofthewindowsintothewoodenverandahoverhangingtheriver。
'Doesanybodydownthereknowwhathashappened?'demandedMissAbbey,inhervoiceofauthority。
'It'sasteamer,MissAbbey,'criedoneblurredfigureinthefog。
'ItalwaysISasteamer,MissAbbey,'criedanother。
'Them'sherlights,MissAbbey,wotyouseea-blinkingyonder,'
criedanother。
'She'sa-blowingoffhersteam,MissAbbey,andthat'swhatmakesthefogandthenoiseworse,don'tyousee?'explainedanother。
Boatswereputtingoff,torcheswerelightingup,peoplewererushingtumultuouslytothewater'sedge。Somemanfellinwithasplash,andwaspulledoutagainwitharoaroflaughter。Thedragswerecalledfor。Acryforthelife-buoypassedfrommouthtomouth。Itwasimpossibletomakeoutwhatwasgoingonupontheriver,foreveryboatthatputoffsculledintothefogandwaslosttoviewataboat'slength。Nothingwasclearbutthattheunpopularsteamerwasassailedwithreproachesonallsides。ShewastheMurderer,boundforGallowsBay;shewastheManslaughterer,boundforPenalSettlement;hercaptainoughttobetriedforhislife;hercrewrandownmeninrow-boatswitharelish;shemashedupThameslightermenwithherpaddles;shefiredpropertywithherfunnels;shealwayswas,andshealwayswouldbe,wreakingdestructionuponsomebodyorsomething,afterthemannerofallherkind。Thewholebulkofthefogteemedwithsuchtaunts,utteredintonesofuniversalhoarseness。Allthewhile,thesteamer'slightsmovedspectrallyaverylittle,asshelay-
to,waitingtheupshotofwhateveraccidenthadhappened。Now,shebeganburningblue-lights。Thesemadealuminouspatchabouther,asifshehadsetthefogonfire,andinthepatch——thecrieschangingtheirnote,andbecomingmorefitfulandmoreexcited——shadowsofmenandboatscouldbeseenmoving,whilevoicesshouted:'There!''Thereagain!''Acouplemorestrokesa-
head!''Hurrah!''Lookout!''Holdon!''Haulin!'andthelike。Lastly,withafewtumblingclotsofbluefire,thenightclosedindarkagain,thewheelsofthesteamerwereheardrevolving,andherlightsglidedsmoothlyawayinthedirectionofthesea。
ItappearedtoMissAbbeyandhertwocompanionsthataconsiderabletimehadbeenthusoccupied。Therewasnowaseagerasettowardstheshorebeneaththehouseastherehadbeenfromit;anditwasonlyonthefirstboatoftherushcominginthatitwasknownwhathadoccurred。
'Ifthat'sTomTootle,'MissAbbeymadeproclamation,inhermostcommandingtones,'lethiminstantlycomeunderneathhere。'
ThesubmissiveTomcomplied,attendedbyacrowd。
'Whatisit,Tootle?'demandedMissAbbey。
'It'saforeignsteamer,miss,rundownawherry。'
'Howmanyinthewherry?'
'Oneman,MissAbbey。'
'Found?'
'Yes。He'sbeenunderwateralongtime,Miss;butthey'vegrappledupthebody。'
'Let'embringithere。You,BobGliddery,shutthehouse-doorandstandbyitontheinside,anddon'tyouopentillItellyou。Anypolicedownthere?'
'Here,MissAbbey,'wasofficialrejoinder。
'Aftertheyhavebroughtthebodyin,keepthecrowdout,willyou?
AndhelpBobGlidderytoshut'emout。'
'Allright,MissAbbey。'
TheautocraticlandladywithdrewintothehousewithRiahandMissJenny,anddisposedthoseforces,oneoneithersideofher,withinthehalf-doorofthebar,asbehindabreastwork。
'Youtwostandclosehere,'saidMissAbbey,'andyou'llcometonohurt,andseeitbroughtin。Bob,youstandbythedoor。'
Thatsentinel,smartlygivinghisrolledshirt-sleevesanextraandafinaltuckonhisshoulders,obeyed。
Soundofadvancingvoices,soundofadvancingsteps。Shuffleandtalkwithout。Momentarypause。Twopeculiarlybluntknocksorpokesatthedoor,asifthedeadmanarrivingonhisbackwerestrikingatitwiththesolesofhismotionlessfeet。
'That'sthestretcher,ortheshutter,whicheverofthetwotheyarecarrying,'saidMissAbbey,withexperiencedear。'Open,youBob!'
Dooropened。Heavytreadofladenmen。Ahalt。Arush。
Stoppageofrush。Doorshut。Baffledbootsfromthevexedsoulsofdisappointedoutsiders。
'Comeon,men!'saidMissAbbey;forsopotentwasshewithhersubjectsthateventhenthebearersawaitedherpermission。'Firstfloor。'
Theentrybeinglow,andthestaircasebeinglow,theysotookuptheburdentheyhadsetdown,astocarrythatlow。Therecumbentfigure,inpassing,layhardlyashighasthehalfdoor。
MissAbbeystartedbackatsightofit。'Why,goodGod!'saidshe,turningtohertwocompanions,'that'stheverymanwhomadethedeclarationwehavejusthadinourhands。That'sRiderhood!'
Chapter3
THESAMERESPECTEDFRIENDINMOREASPECTSTHANONE
Insooth,itisRiderhoodandnoother,oritistheouterhuskandshellofRiderhoodandnoother,thatisborneintoMissAbbey'sfirst-floorbedroom。SuppletotwistandturnastheRoguehaseverbeen,heissufficientlyrigidnow;andnotwithoutmuchshufflingofattendantfeet,andtiltingofhisbierthiswayandthatway,andperilevenofhisslidingoffitandbeingtumbledinaheapoverthebalustrades,canhebegotupstairs。
'Fetchadoctor,'quothMissAbbey。Andthen,'Fetchhisdaughter。'
Onbothofwhicherrands,quickmessengersdepart。
Thedoctor-seekingmessengermeetsthedoctorhalfway,comingunderconvoyofpolice。Doctorexaminesthedankcarcase,andpronounces,nothopefully,thatitisworthwhiletryingtoreanimatethesame。Allthebestmeansareatonceinaction,andeverybodypresentlendsahand,andaheartandsoul。Noonehastheleastregardfortheman;withthemall,hehasbeenanobjectofavoidance,suspicion,andaversion;butthesparkoflifewithinhimiscuriouslyseparablefromhimselfnow,andtheyhaveadeepinterestinit,probablybecauseitISlife,andtheyarelivingandmustdie。
Inanswertothedoctor'sinquiryhowdidithappen,andwasanyonetoblame,TomTootlegivesinhisverdict,unavoidableaccidentandnoonetoblamebutthesufferer。'Hewasslinkingaboutinhisboat,'saysTom,'whichslinkingwere,nottospeakillofthedead,themanneroftheman,whenhecomerightathwartthesteamer'sbowsandshecuthimintwo。'MrTootleissofarfigurative,touchingthedismemberment,asthathemeanstheboat,andnottheman。For,themanlieswholebeforethem。
CaptainJoey,thebottle-nosedregularcustomerintheglazedhat,isapupilofthemuch-respectedoldschool,andhavinginsinuatedhimselfintothechamber,intheexecutionoftheimpontantserviceofcarryingthedrownedman'sneck-kerchieffavoursthedoctorwithasagaciousold-scholasticsuggestionthatthebodyshouldbehungupbytheheels,'sim'lar',saysCaptainJoey,'tomuttoninabutcher'sshop,'andshouldthen,asaparticularlychoicemanoeuvreforpromotingeasyrespiration,berolleduponcasks。
Thesescrapsofthewisdomofthecaptain'sancestorsarereceivedwithsuchspeechlessindignationbyMissAbbey,thatsheinstantlyseizestheCaptainbythecollar,andwithoutasinglewordejectshim,notpresumingtoremonstrate,fromthescene。
Therethenremain,toassistthedoctorandTom,onlythosethreeotherregularcustomers,BobGlamour,WilliamWilliams,andJonathanfamilynameofthelatter,ifany,unknowntoman-kind,whoarequiteenough。MissAbbeyhavinglookedintomakesurethatnothingiswanted,descendstothebar,andthereawaitstheresult,withthegentleJewandMissJennyWren。
Ifyouarenotgoneforgood,MrRiderhood,itwouldbesomethingtoknowwhereyouarehidingatpresent。Thisflabbylumpofmortalitythatweworksohardatwithsuchpatientperseverance,yieldsnosignofyou。Ifyouaregoneforgood,Rogue,itisverysolemn,andifyouarecomingback,itishardlylessso。Nay,inthesuspenseandmysteryofthelatterquestion,involvingthatofwhereyoumaybenow,thereisasolemnityevenaddedtothatofdeath,makinguswhoareinattendancealikeafraidtolookonyouandtolookoffyou,andmakingthosebelowstartattheleastsoundofacreakingplankinthefloor。
Stay!Didthateyelidtremble?Sothedoctor,breathinglow,andcloselywatching,askshimself。
No。
Didthatnostriltwitch?
No。
Thisartificialrespirationceasing,doIfeelanyfaintflutterundermyhanduponthechest?
No。
OverandoveragainNo。No。Buttryoverandoveragain,nevertheless。
See!Atokenoflife!Anindubitabletokenoflife!Thesparkmaysmoulderandgoout,oritmayglowandexpand,butsee!Thefourroughfellows,seeing,shedtears。NeitherRiderhoodinthisworld,norRiderhoodintheother,coulddrawtearsfromthem;butastrivinghumansoulbetweenthetwocandoiteasily。
Heisstrugglingtocomeback。Now,heisalmosthere,nowheisfarawayagain。Nowheisstrugglinghardertogetback。Andyet——
likeusall,whenweswoon——likeusall,everydayofourliveswhenwewake——heisinstinctivelyunwillingtoberestoredtotheconsciousnessofthisexistence,andwouldbeleftdormant,ifhecould。
BobGlidderyreturnswithPleasantRiderhood,whowasoutwhensoughtfor,andhardtofind。Shehasashawloverherhead,andherfirstaction,whenshetakesitoffweeping,andcurtseystoMissAbbey,istowindherhairup。
'Thankyou,MissAbbey,forhavingfatherhere。'
'Iamboundtosay,girl,Ididn'tknowwhoitwas,'returnsMissAbbey;'butIhopeitwouldhavebeenprettymuchthesameifI
hadknown。'
PoorPleasant,fortifiedwithasipofbrandy,isusheredintothefirst-floorchamber。Shecouldnotexpressmuchsentimentaboutherfatherifshewerecalledupontopronouncehisfuneraloration,butshehasagreatertendernessforhimthanheeverhadforher,andcryingbitterlywhensheseeshimstretchedunconscious,asksthedoctor,withclaspedhands:'Istherenohope,sir?Opoorfather!Ispoorfatherdead?'
Towhichthedoctor,ononekneebesidethebody,busyandwatchful,onlyrejoinswithoutlookinground:'Now,mygirl,unlessyouhavetheself-commandtobeperfectlyquiet,Icannotallowyoutoremainintheroom。'