CHAPTERX
  CLARA
  WHENhewastwenty-threeyearsold,Paulsentinalandscapeto,thewinterexhibitionatNottinghamCastle。MissJordanhadtaken,agooddealofinterestinhim,andinvitedhimtoherhouse,wherehemetotherartists。Hewasbeginningtogrowambitious。
  Onemorningthepostmancamejustashewaswashingin,thescullery。Suddenlyheheardawildnoisefromhismother。
  Rushingintothekitchen,hefoundherstandingonthehearthrug,wildlywavingaletterandcrying“Hurrah!”asifshehadgonemad。
  Hewasshockedandfrightened。
  “Why,mother!”heexclaimed。
  Sheflewtohim,flungherarmsroundhimforamoment,thenwavedtheletter,crying:
  “Hurrah,myboy!,Iknewweshoulddoit!”
  Hewasafraidofher——thesmall,severewomanwithgrayinghair,suddenlyburstingoutinsuchfrenzy。Thepostmancamerunningback,afraidsomethinghadhappened。Theysawhistippedcapoverthe,shortcurtains。Mrs。Morelrushedtothedoor。
  “Hispicture’sgotfirstprize,Fred,“shecried,“andissold,fortwentyguineas。”
  “Myword,that’ssomethinglike!”saidtheyoungpostman,whomtheyhadknownallhislife。
  “AndMajorMoretonhasboughtit!”shecried。
  “Itlookslikemeanin’something,thatdoes,Mrs。Morel,“
  saidthepostman,hisblueeyesbright。Hewasgladtohavebrought,suchaluckyletter。Mrs。Morelwentindoorsandsatdown,trembling。
  Paulwasafraidlestshemighthavemisreadtheletter,andmightbe,disappointedafterall。Hescrutiniseditonce,twice。Yes,hebecame,convinceditwastrue。Thenhesatdown,hisheartbeatingwithjoy。
  “Mother!”heexclaimed。
  “Didn’tISAYweshoulddoit!”shesaid,pretendingshe,wasnotcrying。
  Hetookthekettleoffthefireandmashedthetea。
  “Youdidn’tthink,mother——“hebegantentatively。
  “No,myson——notsomuch——butIexpectedagooddeal。”
  “Butnotsomuch,“hesaid。
  “No——no——butIknewweshoulddoit。”
  Andthensherecoveredhercomposure,apparentlyatleast。
  Hesatwithhisshirtturnedback,showinghisyoungthroatalmost,likeagirl’s,andthetowelinhishand,hishairstickingupwet。
  “Twentyguineas,mother!,That’sjustwhatyouwantedtobuy,Arthurout。Nowyouneedn’tborrowany。It’lljustdo。”
  “Indeed,Ishan’ttakeitall,“shesaid。
  “Butwhy?”
  “BecauseIshan’t。”
  “Well——youhavetwelvepounds,I’llhavenine。”
  Theycavilledaboutsharingthetwentyguineas。Shewanted,totakeonlythefivepoundssheneeded。Hewouldnothearofit。
  Sotheygotoverthestressofemotionbyquarrelling。
  Morelcamehomeatnightfromthepit,saying:
  “TheytellmePaul’sgotfirstprizeforhispicture,andsold,ittoLordHenryBentleyforfiftypound。”
  “Oh,whatstoriespeopledotell!”shecried。
  “Ha!”heanswered。”IsaidIworsureitworalie。
  Buttheysaidtha’dtoldFredHodgkisson。”
  “AsifIwouldtellhimsuchstuff!”
  “Ha!”assentedtheminer。
  Buthewasdisappointednevertheless。
  “It’struehehasgotthefirstprize,“saidMrs。Morel。
  Theminersatheavilyinhischair。
  “Hashe,beguy!”heexclaimed。
  Hestaredacrosstheroomfixedly。
  “Butasforfiftypounds——suchnonsense!”Shewassilentawhile。
  “MajorMoretonboughtitfortwentyguineas,that’strue。”
  “Twentyguineas!,Thaniversays!”exclaimedMorel。
  “Yes,anditwasworthit。”
  “Ay!”hesaid。”Idon’tmisdoubtit。Buttwentyguineas,forabitofapaintin’asheknockedoffinanhourortwo!”
  Hewassilentwithconceitofhisson。Mrs。Morelsniffed,asifitwerenothing。
  “Andwhendoeshehandleth’money?”askedthecollier。
  “ThatIcouldn’ttellyou。Whenthepictureissenthome,Isuppose。”
  Therewassilence。Morelstaredatthesugar-basininstead,ofeatinghisdinner。Hisblackarm,withthehandallgnarled,withworklayonthetable。Hiswifepretendednottoseehimrub,thebackofhishandacrosshiseyes,northesmearinthecoal-dust,onhisblackface。
  “Yes,an’thatotherlad’ud’adoneasmuchiftheyhadna,ha’killed’im,“hesaidquietly。
  ThethoughtofWilliamwentthroughMrs。Morellikeacoldblade。
  Itleftherfeelingshewastired,andwantedrest。
  PaulwasinvitedtodinneratMr。Jordan’s。Afterwardshesaid:
  “Mother,Iwantaneveningsuit。”
  “Yes,Iwasafraidyouwould,“shesaid。Shewasglad。
  Therewasamomentortwoofsilence。”There’sthatoneofWilliam’s,“
  shecontinued,“thatIknowcostfourpoundsten,andwhichhe’donlywornthreetimes。”
  “Shouldyoulikemetowearit,mother?”heasked。
  “Yes。Ithinkitwouldfityou——atleastthecoat。Thetrousers,wouldwantshortening。”
  Hewentupstairsandputonthecoatandvest。Comingdown,helookedstrangeinaflannelcollarandaflannelshirt-front,withaneveningcoatandvest。Itwasratherlarge。
  “Thetailorcanmakeitright,“shesaid,smoothingherhand,overhisshoulder。”It’sbeautifulstuff。Inevercouldfind,inmyhearttoletyourfatherwearthetrousers,andveryglad,Iamnow。”
  Andasshesmoothedherhandoverthesilkcollarshethought,ofhereldestson。Butthissonwaslivingenoughinsidetheclothes。
  Shepassedherhanddownhisbacktofeelhim。Hewasaliveandhers。
  Theotherwasdead。
  Hewentouttodinnerseveraltimesinhiseveningsuitthathad,beenWilliam’s。Eachtimehismother’sheartwasfirmwithpride,andjoy。Hewasstartednow。Thestudssheandthechildrenhad,boughtforWilliamwereinhisshirt-front;heworeoneofWilliam’s,dressshirts。Buthehadanelegantfigure。Hisfacewasrough,butwarm-lookingandratherpleasing。Hedidnotlookparticularly,agentleman,butshethoughthelookedquiteaman。
  Hetoldhereverythingthattookplace,everythingthatwassaid。
  Itwasasifshehadbeenthere。Andhewasdyingtointroduceher,tothesenewfriendswhohaddinneratseven-thirtyintheevening。
  “Goalongwithyou!”shesaid。”Whatdotheywanttoknow,mefor?”
  “Theydo!”hecriedindignantly。”Iftheywanttoknowme——and,theysaytheydo——thentheywanttoknowyou,becauseyouarequite,ascleverasIam。”
  “Goalongwithyou,child!“shelaughed。
  Butshebegantospareherhands。They,too,werework-gnarlednow。
  Theskinwasshinywithsomuchhotwater,theknucklesratherswollen。
  Butshebegantobecarefultokeepthemoutofsoda。Sheregretted,whattheyhadbeen——sosmallandexquisite。AndwhenAnnieinsisted,onherhavingmorestylishblousestosuitherage,shesubmitted。
  Sheevenwentsofarastoallowablackvelvetbowtobeplaced,onherhair。Thenshesniffedinhersarcasticmanner,andwas,sureshelookedasight。Butshelookedalady,Pauldeclared,asmuchasMrs。MajorMoreton,andfar,farnicer。Thefamily,wascomingon。OnlyMorelremainedunchanged,orrather,lapsedslowly。
  Paulandhismothernowhadlongdiscussionsaboutlife。
  Religionwasfadingintothebackground。Hehadshovelledaway,anthebeliefsthatwouldhamperhim,hadclearedtheground,andcomemoreorlesstothebedrockofbeliefthatoneshouldfeel,insideoneselfforrightandwrong,andshouldhavethepatienceto,graduallyrealiseone’sGod。Nowlifeinterestedhimmore。
  “Youknow,“hesaidtohismother,“Idon’twanttobelong,tothewell-to-domiddleclass。Ilikemycommonpeoplebest。
  Ibelongtothecommonpeople。”
  “Butifanyoneelsesaidso,myson,wouldn’tyoubeinatear。
  YOUknowyouconsideryourselfequaltoanygentleman。”
  “Inmyself,“heanswered,“notinmyclassormyeducation,ormymanners。ButinmyselfIam。”
  “Verywell,then。Thenwhytalkaboutthecommonpeople?”
  “Because——thedifferencebetweenpeopleisn’tintheirclass,butinthemselves。Onlyfromthemiddleclassesonegetsideas,andfromthecommonpeople——lifeitself,warmth。Youfeeltheirhates,andloves。”
  “It’sallverywell,myboy。But,then,whydon’tyougo,andtalktoyourfather’spals?”
  “Butthey’reratherdifferent。”
  “Notatall。They’rethecommonpeople。Afterall,whomdoyou,mixwithnow——amongthecommonpeople?,Thosethatexchangeideas,likethemiddleclasses。Therestdon’tinterestyou。”
  “But——there’sthelife——“
  “Idon’tbelievethere’sajotmorelifefromMiriamthanyou,couldgetfromanyeducatedgirl——sayMissMoreton。ItisYOU
  whoaresnobbishaboutclass。”
  ShefranklyWANTEDhimtoclimbintothemiddleclasses,athingnotverydifficult,sheknew。Andshewantedhimintheend,tomarryalady。
  Nowshebegantocombathiminhisrestlessfretting。
  HestillkeptuphisconnectionwithMiriam,couldneitherbreak,freenorgothewholelengthofengagement。Andthisindecision,seemedtobleedhimofhisenergy。Moreover,hismothersuspected,himofanunrecognisedleaningtowardsClara,and,sincethelatter,wasamarriedwoman,shewishedhewouldfallinlovewithone,ofthegirlsinabetterstationoflife。Buthewasstupid,andwouldrefusetoloveoreventoadmireagirlmuch,justbecause,shewashissocialsuperior。
  “Myboy,“saidhismothertohim,“allyourcleverness,yourbreakingawayfromoldthings,andtakinglifeinyourownhands,doesn’tseemtobringyoumuchhappiness。”
  “Whatishappiness!”hecried。”It’snothingtome!
  HowAMItobehappy?”
  Theplumpquestiondisturbedher。
  “That’sforyoutojudge,mylad。Butifyoucouldmeet,someGOODwomanwhowouldMAKEyouhappy——andyoubegantothink,ofsettlingyourlife——whenyouhavethemeans——sothatyoucould,workwithoutallthisfretting——itwouldbemuchbetterforyou。”
  Hefrowned。Hismothercaughthimontherawofhiswound,ofMiriam。Hepushedthetumbledhairoffhisforehead,hiseyes,fullofpainandfire。
  “Youmeaneasy,mother,“hecried。”That’sawoman’swholedoctrine,forlife——easeofsoulandphysicalcomfort。AndIdodespiseit。”
  “Oh,doyou!”repliedhismother。”Anddoyoucallyours,adivinediscontent?”
  “Yes。Idon’tcareaboutitsdivinity。Butdamnyourhappiness!
  Solongaslife’sfull,itdoesn’tmatterwhetherit’shappyornot。
  I’mafraidyourhappinesswouldboreme。”
  “Younevergiveitachance,“shesaid。Thensuddenlyall,herpassionofgriefoverhimbrokeout。”Butitdoesmatter!”
  shecried。”AndyouOUGHTtobehappy,yououghttotrytobehappy,tolivetobehappy。HowcouldIbeartothinkyourlifewouldn’t,beahappyone!”
  “Yourown’sbeenbadenough,mater,butithasn’tleftyou,somuchworseoffthanthefolkwho’vebeenhappier。Ireckon,you’vedonewell。AndIamthesame。Aren’tIwellenoughoff?”
  “You’renot,myson。Battle——battle——andsuffer。It’sabout,allyoudo,asfarasIcansee。”
  “Butwhynot,mydear?,Itellyouit’sthebest——“
  “Itisn’t。AndoneOUGHTtobehappy,oneOUGHT。”
  BythistimeMrs。Morelwastremblingviolently。Strugglesof,thiskindoftentookplacebetweenherandherson,whenshe,seemedtofightforhisverylifeagainsthisownwilltodie。
  Hetookherinhisarms。Shewasillandpitiful。
  “Nevermind,Little,“hemurmured。”Solongasyoudon’tfeel,life’spaltryandamiserablebusiness,therestdoesn’tmatter,happinessorunhappiness。”
  Shepressedhimtoher。
  “ButIwantyoutobehappy,“shesaidpathetically。
  “Eh,mydear——sayratheryouwantmetolive。”
  Mrs。Morelfeltasifherheartwouldbreakforhim。
  Atthisratesheknewhewouldnotlive。Hehadthatpoignant,carelessnessabouthimself,hisownsuffering,hisownlife,whichisaformofslowsuicide。Italmostbrokeherheart。
  WithallthepassionofherstrongnatureshehatedMiriamforhaving,inthissubtlewayunderminedhisjoy。Itdidnotmattertoher,thatMiriamcouldnothelpit。Miriamdidit,andshehatedher。
  Shewishedsomuchhewouldfallinlovewithagirlequal,tobehismate——educatedandstrong。Buthewouldnotlookat,anybodyabovehiminstation。HeseemedtolikeMrs。Dawes。
  Atanyratethatfeelingwaswholesome。Hismotherprayedandprayed,forhim,thathemightnotbewasted。Thatwasallherprayer——not,forhissoulorhisrighteousness,butthathemightnotbewasted。
  Andwhileheslept,forhoursandhoursshethoughtandprayed,forhim。
  HedriftedawayfromMiriamimperceptibly,withoutknowinghe,wasgoing。Arthuronlyleftthearmytobemarried。Thebabywas,bornsixmonthsafterhiswedding。Mrs。Morelgothimajobunder,thefirmagain,attwenty-oneshillingsaweek。Shefurnishedforhim,withthehelpofBeatrice’smother,alittlecottageoftworooms。
  Hewascaughtnow。Itdidnotmatterhowhekickedandstruggled,hewasfast。Foratimehechafed,wasirritablewithhis,youngwife,wholovedhim;hewentalmostdistractedwhenthebaby,whichwasdelicate,criedorgavetrouble。Hegrumbledforhours,tohismother。Sheonlysaid:,“Well,mylad,youdidityourself,nowyoumustmakethebestofit。”,Andthenthegritcameoutinhim。
  Hebuckledtowork,undertookhisresponsibilities,acknowledgedthat,hebelongedtohiswifeandchild,anddidmakeagoodbestofit。
  Hehadneverbeenverycloselyinboundintothefamily。Nowhewas,gonealtogether。
  Themonthswentslowlyalong。Paulhadmoreorlessgotinto,connectionwiththeSocialist,Suffragette,Unitarianpeoplein,Nottingham,owingtohisacquaintancewithClara。Oneday,afriendofhisandofClara’s,inBestwood,askedhimtotake,amessagetoMrs。Dawes。HewentintheeveningacrossSneinton,MarkettoBluebellHill。Hefoundthehouseinameanlittlestreet,pavedwithgranitecobblesandhavingcausewaysofdarkblue,groovedbricks。Thefrontdoorwentupastepfromoffthis,roughpavement,wherethefeetofthepassersbyraspedandclattered。
  Thebrownpaintonthedoorwassooldthatthenakedwoodshowed,betweentherents。Hestoodonthestreetbelowandknocked。
  Therecameaheavyfootstep;alarge,stoutwomanofaboutsixty,toweredabovehim。Helookedupatherfromthepavement。
  Shehadarathersevereface。
  Sheadmittedhimintotheparlour,whichopenedontothestreet。
  Itwasasmall,stuffy,defunctroom,ofmahogany,anddeathly,enlargementsofphotographsofdepartedpeopledoneincarbon。
  Mrs。Radfordlefthim。Shewasstately,almostmartial。
  InamomentClaraappeared。Sheflusheddeeply,andhewascovered,withconfusion。Itseemedasifshedidnotlikebeingdiscovered,inherhomecircumstances。
  “Ithoughtitcouldn’tbeyourvoice,“shesaid。
  Butshemightaswellbehungforasheepasforalamb。
  Sheinvitedhimoutofthemausoleumofaparlourintothekitchen。
  Thatwasalittle,darkishroomtoo,butitwassmothered,inwhitelace。Themotherhadseatedherselfagainbythecupboard,andwasdrawingthreadfromavastweboflace。Aclumpoffluffand,ravelledcottonwasatherrighthand,aheapofthree-quarter-inchlace,layonherleft,whilstinfrontofherwasthemountainoflaceweb,pilingthehearthrug。Threadsofcurlycotton,pulledoutfrombetween,thelengthsoflace,strewedoverthefenderandthefireplace。
  Pauldarednotgoforward,forfearoftreadingonpilesofwhitestuff。
  Onthetablewasajennyforcardingthelace。Therewas,apackofbrowncardboardsquares,apackofcardsoflace,alittleboxofpins,andonthesofalayaheapofdrawnlace。
  Theroomwasalllace,anditwassodarkandwarmthatthewhite,snowystuffseemedthemoredistinct。
  “Ifyou’recominginyouwon’thavetomindthework,“
  saidMrs。Radford。”Iknowwe’reaboutblockedup。Butsit,youdown。”
  Clara,muchembarrassed,gavehimachairagainstthewall,oppositethewhiteheaps。Thensheherselftookherplace,onthesofa,shamedly。
  “Willyoudrinkabottleofstout?”Mrs。Radfordasked。
  “Clara,gethimabottleofstout。”
  Heprotested,butMrs。Radfordinsisted。
  “Youlookasifyoucoulddowithit,“shesaid。”Haven’tyou,neveranymorecolourthanthat?”
  “It’sonlyathickskinI’vegotthatdoesn’tshow,thebloodthrough,“heanswered。
  Clara,ashamedandchagrined,broughthimabottleofstout,andaglass。Hepouredoutsomeoftheblackstuff。
  “Well,“hesaid,liftingtheglass,“here’shealth!”
  “Andthankyou,“saidMrs。Radford。
  Hetookadrinkofstout。
  “Andlightyourselfacigarette,solongasyoudon’tset,thehouseonfire,“saidMrs。Radford。
  “Thankyou,“hereplied。
  “Nay,youneedn’tthankme,“sheanswered。”Is’llbe,gladtosmellabitofsmokeinth’’ouseagain。Ahouseo’
  womenisasdeadasahousewi’nofire,tomythinkin’。I’m,notaspideraslikesacornertomyself。Ilikeamanabout,ifhe’sonlysomethingtosnapat。”
  Clarabegantowork。Herjennyspunwithasubduedbuzz;
  thewhitelacehoppedfrombetweenherfingersontothecard。
  Itwasfilled;shesnippedoffthelength,andpinnedtheend,downtothebandedlace。Thensheputanewcardinherjenny。
  Paulwatchedher。Shesatsquareandmagnificent。Herthroatand,armswerebare。Thebloodstillmantledbelowherears;shebent,herheadinshameofherhumility。Herfacewassetonherwork。
  Herarmswerecreamyandfulloflifebesidethewhitelace;
  herlarge,well-kepthandsworkedwithabalancedmovement,asifnothingwouldhurrythem。He,notknowing,watchedherall,thetime。Hesawthearchofherneckfromtheshoulder,asshe,bentherhead;hesawthecoilofdunhair;hewatchedhermoving,gleamingarms。
  “I’veheardabitaboutyoufromClara,“continuedthemother。
  “You’reinJordan’s,aren’tyou?”Shedrewherlaceunceasing。
  “Yes。”
  “Ay,well,andIcanrememberwhenThomasJordanusedtoask,MEforoneofmytoffies。”
  “Didhe?”laughedPaul。”Anddidhegetit?”
  “Sometimeshedid,sometimeshedidn’t——whichwaslatterly。
  Forhe’sthesortthattakesallandgivesnaught,heis——orused,tobe。”
  “Ithinkhe’sverydecent,“saidPaul。
  “Yes;well,I’mgladtohearit。”
  Mrs。Radfordlookedacrossathimsteadily。Therewassomething,determinedaboutherthatheliked。Herfacewasfallingloose,buthereyeswerecalm,andtherewassomethingstronginherthat,madeitseemshewasnotold;merelyherwrinklesandloosecheeks,wereananachronism。Shehadthestrengthandsang-froidofawoman,intheprimeoflife。Shecontinueddrawingthelacewithslow,dignifiedmovements。Thebigwebcameupinevitablyoverherapron;
  thelengthoflacefellawayatherside。Herarmswerefinelyshapen,butglossyandyellowasoldivory。Theyhadnotthepeculiardull,gleamthatmadeClara’ssofascinatingtohim。
  “Andyou’vebeengoingwithMiriamLeivers?”themotheraskedhim。
  “Well——“heanswered。
  “Yes,she’sanicegirl,“shecontinued。”She’sverynice,butshe’sabittoomuchabovethisworldtosuitmyfancy。”
  “Sheisabitlikethat,“heagreed。
  “She’llneverbesatisfiedtillshe’sgotwingsandcanfly,overeverybody’shead,shewon’t,“shesaid。
  Clarabrokein,andhetoldherhismessage。Shespokehumbly,tohim。Hehadsurprisedherinherdrudgery。Tohaveherhumble,madehimfeelasifhewereliftinghisheadinexpectation。
  “Doyoulikejennying?”heasked。
  “Whatcanawomando!”sherepliedbitterly。
  “Isitsweated?”
  “Moreorless。Isn’tALLwoman’swork?,That’sanothertrick,themenhaveplayed,sinceweforceourselvesintothelabourmarket。”
  “Nowthen,youshutupaboutthemen,“saidhermother。”Ifthe,womenwasn’tfools,themenwouldn’tbebaduns,that’swhatIsay。
  Nomanwaseverthatbadwi’mebutwhathegotitbackagain。
  Notbutwhatthey’realousylot,there’snodenyingit。”
  “Butthey’reallrightreally,aren’tthey?”heasked。
  “Well,they’reabitdifferentfromwomen,“sheanswered。
  “WouldyoucaretobebackatJordan’s?”heaskedClara。
  “Idon’tthinkso,“shereplied。
  “Yes,shewould!”criedhermother;“thankherstarsifshe,couldgetback。Don’tyoulistentoher。She’sforeveronthat,’ighhorseofhers,an’it’sback’sthatthinan’starvedit’ll,cutherintwooneofthesedays。”
  Clarasufferedbadlyfromhermother。Paulfeltasifhiseyes,werecomingverywideopen。Wasn’thetotakeClara’sfulminations,soseriously,afterall?,Shespunsteadilyatherwork。Heexperienced,athrillofjoy,thinkingshemightneedhishelp。Sheseemed,deniedanddeprivedofsomuch。Andherarmmovedmechanically,thatshouldneverhavebeensubduedtoamechanism,andherhead,wasbowedtothelace,thatnevershouldhavebeenbowed。Sheseemed,tobestrandedthereamongtherefusethatlifehasthrownaway,doingherjennying。Itwasabitterthingtohertobeputaside,bylife,asifithadnouseforher。Nowondersheprotested。
  Shecamewithhimtothedoor。Hestoodbelowinthemeanstreet,lookingupather。Sofineshewasinherstatureandherbearing,sheremindedhimofJunodethroned。Asshestoodinthedoorway,shewincedfromthestreet,fromhersurroundings。
  “AndyouwillgowithMrs。HodgkissontoHucknall?”
  Hewastalkingquitemeaninglessly,onlywatchingher。
  Hergreyeyesatlastmethis。Theylookeddumbwithhumiliation,pleadingwithakindofcaptivemisery。Hewasshakenandataloss。
  Hehadthoughtherhighandmighty。
  Whenhelefther,hewantedtorun。Hewenttothestation,inasortofdream,andwasathomewithoutrealisinghehadmoved,outofherstreet。
  HehadanideathatSusan,theoverseeroftheSpiralgirls,wasabouttobemarried。Heaskedherthenextday。
  “Isay,Susan,Iheardawhisperofyourgettingmarried。
  Whataboutit?”
  Susanflushedred。
  “Who’sbeentalkingtoyou?”shereplied。
  “Nobody。ImerelyheardawhisperthatyouWEREthinking——“
  “Well,Iam,thoughyouneedn’ttellanybody。What’smore,IwishIwasn’t!”
  “Nay,Susan,youwon’tmakemebelievethat。”
  “Shan’tI?,YouCANbelieveit,though。I’dratherstop,hereathousandtimes。”
  Paulwasperturbed。
  “Why,Susan?”
  Thegirl’scolourwashigh,andhereyesflashed。
  “That’swhy!”
  “Andmustyou?”
  Foranswer,shelookedathim。Therewasabouthimacandour,andgentlenesswhichmadethewomentrusthim。Heunderstood。
  “Ah,I’msorry,“hesaid。
  Tearscametohereyes。
  “Butyou’llseeit’llturnoutallright。You’llmakethebest,ofit,“hecontinuedratherwistfully。
  “There’snothingelseforit。”
  “Yea,there’smakingtheworstofit。Tryandmakeitallright。”
  HesoonmadeoccasiontocallagainonClara。
  “Wouldyou,“hesaid,“caretocomebacktoJordan’s?”
  Sheputdownherwork,laidherbeautifularmsonthetable,andlookedathimforsomemomentswithoutanswering。Graduallythe,flushmountedhercheek。
  “Why?”sheasked。
  Paulfeltratherawkward。
  “Well,becauseSusanisthinkingofleaving,“hesaid。
  Clarawentonwithherjennying。Thewhitelaceleaped,inlittlejumpsandboundsontothecard。Hewaitedforher。
  Withoutraisingherhead,shesaidatlast,inapeculiarlowvoice:
  “Haveyousaidanythingaboutit?”
  “Excepttoyou,notaword。”
  Therewasagainalongsilence。
  “Iwillapplywhentheadvertisementisout,“shesaid。
  “Youwillapplybeforethat。Iwillletyouknowexactlywhen。”
  Shewentonspinningherlittlemachine,anddidnotcontradicthim。
  ClaracametoJordan’s。Someoftheolderhands,Fannyamongthem,rememberedherearlierrule,andcordiallydislikedthememory。
  Clarahadalwaysbeen“ikey“reserved,andsuperior。Shehadnever,mixedwiththegirlsasoneofthemselves。Ifshehadoccasion,tofindfault,shediditcoollyandwithperfectpoliteness,whichthedefaulterfelttobeabiggerinsultthancrassness。
  TowardsFanny,thepoor,overstrunghunchback,Clarawasunfailingly,compassionateandgentle,asaresultofwhichFannyshed,morebittertearsthanevertheroughtonguesoftheotheroverseers,hadcausedher。
  TherewassomethinginClarathatPauldisliked,andmuch,thatpiquedhim。Ifshewereabout,healwayswatchedherstrong,throatorherneck,uponwhichtheblondehairgrewlowandfluffy。
  Therewasafinedown,almostinvisible,upontheskinofherface,andarms,andwhenoncehehadperceivedit,hesawitalways。
  Whenhewasathiswork,paintingintheafternoon,shewouldcomeandstandneartohim,perfectlymotionless。
  Thenhefelther,thoughsheneitherspokenortouchedhim。
  Althoughshestoodayardawayhefeltasifhewereincontact,withher。Thenhecouldpaintnomore。Heflungdownthebrushes,andturnedtotalktoher。
  Sometimesshepraisedhiswork;sometimesshewascritical,andcold。
  “Youareaffectedinthatpiece,“shewouldsay;and,asthere,wasanelementoftruthinhercondemnation,hisbloodboiled,withanger。
  Again:,“Whatofthis?”hewouldaskenthusiastically。
  “H’m!”Shemadeasmalldoubtfulsound。”Itdoesn’tinterest,memuch。”
  “Becauseyoudon’tunderstandit,“heretorted。
  “Thenwhyaskmeaboutit?”
  “BecauseIthoughtyouwouldunderstand。”
  Shewouldshrughershouldersinscornofhiswork。
  Shemaddenedhim。Hewasfurious。Thenheabusedher,andwentinto,passionateexpositionofhisstuff。Thisamusedandstimulatedher。
  Butsheneverownedthatshehadbeenwrong。
  Duringthetenyearsthatshehadbelongedtothewomen’smovement,shehadacquiredafairamountofeducation,and,havinghadsome,ofMiriam’spassiontobeinstructed,hadtaughtherselfFrench,andcouldreadinthatlanguagewithastruggle。Sheconsidered,herselfasawomanapart,andparticularlyapart,fromherclass。
  ThegirlsintheSpiraldepartmentwereallofgoodhomes。
  Itwasasmall,specialindustry,andhadacertaindistinction。
  Therewasanairofrefinementinbothrooms。ButClarawasaloof,alsofromherfellow-workers。
  Noneofthesethings,however,didsherevealtoPaul。
  Shewasnottheonetogiveherselfaway。Therewasasenseof,mysteryabouther。Shewassoreserved,hefeltshehadmuchtoreserve。
  Herhistorywasopenonthesurface,butitsinnermeaningwashidden,fromeverybody。Itwasexciting。Andthensometimeshecaught,herlookingathimfromunderherbrowswithanalmostfurtive,sullenscrutiny,whichmadehimmovequickly。Oftenshemethiseyes。
  Butthenherownwere,asitwere,coveredover,revealingnothing。
  Shegavehimalittle,lenientsmile。Shewastohimextraordinarily,provocative,becauseoftheknowledgesheseemedtopossess,andgatheredfruitofexperiencehecouldnotattain。
  OnedayhepickedupacopyofLettresdemonMoulinfrom,herwork-bench。
  “YoureadFrench,doyou?”hecried。
  Claraglancedroundnegligently。Shewasmakinganelastic,stockingofheliotropesilk,turningtheSpiralmachinewithslow,balancedregularity,occasionallybendingdowntoseeherworkorto,adjusttheneedles;thenhermagnificentneck,withitsdownandfine,pencilsofhair,shonewhiteagainstthelavender,lustroussilk。
  Shetumedafewmorerounds,andstopped。
  “Whatdidyousay?”sheasked,smilingsweetly。
  Paul’seyesglitteredatherinsolentindifferencetohim。
  “IdidnotknowyoureadFrench,“hesaid,verypolite。
  “Didyounot?”shereplied,withafaint,sarcasticsmile。
  “Rottenswank!”hesaid,butscarcelyloudenoughtobeheard。
  Heshuthismouthangrilyashewatchedher。Sheseemed,toscorntheworkshemechanicallyproduced;yetthehoseshe,madewereasnearlyperfectaspossible。
  “Youdon’tlikeSpiralwork,“hesaid。
  “Oh,well,allworkiswork,“sheanswered,asifsheknew,allaboutit。
  Hemarvelledathercoldness。Hehadtodoeverythinghotly。
  Shemustbesomethingspecial。
  “Whatwouldyouprefertodo?”heasked。
  Shelaughedathimindulgently,asshesaid:
  “Thereissolittlelikelihoodofmyeverbeinggivenachoice,thatIhaven’twastedtimeconsidering。”
  “Pah!”hesaid,contemptuousonhissidenow。”Youonlysay,thatbecauseyou’retooproudtoownupwhatyouwantandcan’tget。”
  “Youknowmeverywell,“sherepliedcoldly。
  “Iknowyouthinkyou’reterrificgreatshakes,andthatyou,liveundertheeternalinsultofworkinginafactory。”
  Hewasveryangryandveryrude。Shemerelytumedawayfrom,himindisdain。Hewalkedwhistlingdowntheroom,flirtedand,laughedwithHilda。
  Lateronhesaidtohimself:
  “WhatwasIsoimpudenttoClarafor?”Hewasratherannoyed,withhimself,atthesametimeglad。”Serveherright;shestinks,withsilentpride,“hesaidtohimselfangrily。
  Intheafternoonhecamedown。Therewasacertainweight,onhisheartwhichhewantedtoremove。Hethoughttodoit,byofferingherchocolates。
  “Haveone?”hesaid。”Iboughtahandfultosweetenmeup。”
  Tohisgreatrelief,sheaccepted。Hesatonthework-bench,besidehermachine,twistingapieceofsilkroundhisfinger。
  Shelovedhimforhisquick,unexpectedmovements,likeayounganimal。
  Hisfeetswungashepondered。Thesweetslaystrewnonthebench。
  Shebentoverhermachine,grindingrhythmically,thenstooping,toseethestockingthathungbeneath,pulleddownbytheweight。
  Hewatchedthehandsomecrouchingofherback,andtheapron-strings,curlingonthefloor。
  “Thereisalwaysaboutyou,“hesaid,“asortofwaiting。
  WhateverIseeyoudoing,you’renotreallythere:,youare,waiting——likePenelopewhenshedidherweaving。”,Hecouldnothelp,aspurtofwickedness。”I’llcallyouPenelope,“hesaid。
  “Woulditmakeanydifference?”shesaid,carefullyremoving,oneofherneedles。
  “Thatdoesn’tmatter,solongasitpleasesme。Here,Isay,youseemtoforgetI’myourboss。Itjustoccurstome。”
  “Andwhatdoesthatmean?”sheaskedcoolly。
  “ItmeansI’vegotarighttobossyou。”
  “Isthereanythingyouwanttocomplainabout?”
  “Oh,Isay,youneedn’tbenasty,“hesaidangrily。
  “Idon’tknowwhatyouwant,“shesaid,continuinghertask。
  “Iwantyoutotreatmenicelyandrespectfully。”
  “Callyou’sir’,perhaps?”sheaskedquietly。
  “Yes,callme’sir’。Ishouldloveit。”
  “ThenIwishyouwouldgoupstairs,sir。”
  Hismouthclosed,andafrowncameonhisface。Hejumped,suddenlydown。
  “You’retooblessedsuperiorforanything,“hesaid。
  Andhewentawaytotheothergirls。Hefelthewasbeing,angrierthanhehadanyneedtobe。Infact,hedoubtedslightly,thathewasshowingoff。Butifhewere,thenhewould。Claraheard,himlaughing,inawayshehated,withthegirlsdownthenextroom。
  Whenateveninghewentthroughthedepartmentafter,thegirlshadgone,hesawhischocolateslyinguntouched,infrontofClara’smachine。Heleftthem。Inthemorning,theywerestillthere,andClarawasatwork。LateronMinnie,alittlebrunettetheycalledPussy,calledtohim:
  “Hey,haven’tyougotachocolateforanybody?”
  “Sorry,Pussy,“hereplied。”Imeanttohaveofferedthem;
  thenIwentandforgot’em。”
  “Ithinkyoudid,“sheanswered。
  “I’llbringyousomethisafternoon。Youdon’twantthem,afterthey’vebeenlyingabout,doyou?”
  “Oh,I’mnotparticular,“smiledPussy。
  “Ohno,“hesaid。”They’llbedusty。”
  HewentuptoClara’sbench。
  “SorryIleftthesethingslitteringabout,“hesaid。
  Sheflushedscarlet。Hegatheredthemtogetherinhisfist。
  “They’llbedirtynow,“hesaid。”Youshouldhavetakenthem。
  Iwonderwhyyoudidn’t。ImeanttohavetoldyouIwantedyouto。”
  Heflungthemoutofthewindowintotheyardbelow。
  Hejustglancedather。Shewincedfromhiseyes。
  Intheafternoonhebroughtanotherpacket。
  “Willyoutakesome?”hesaid,offeringthemfirsttoClara。
  “Thesearefresh。”
  Sheacceptedone,andputitontothebench。
  “Oh,takeseveral——forluck,“hesaid。
  Shetookacouplemore,andputthemonthebenchalso。
  Thensheturnedinconfusiontoherwork。Hewentonuptheroom。
  “Hereyouare,Pussy,“hesaid。”Don’tbegreedy!”
  “Aretheyallforher?”criedtheothers,rushingup。
  “Ofcoursethey’renot,“hesaid。
  Thegirlsclamouredround。Pussydrewbackfromhermates。
  “Comeout!”shecried。”Icanhavefirstpick,can’tI,Paul?”
  “Benicewith’em,“hesaid,andwentaway。
  “YouAREadear,“thegirlscried。
  “Tenpence,“heanswered。
  HewentpastClarawithoutspeaking。Shefeltthethree,chocolatecreamswouldburnherifshetouchedthem。Itneeded,allhercouragetoslipthemintothepocketofherapron。
  Thegirlslovedhimandwereafraidofhim。Hewassonice,whilehewasnice,butifhewereoffended,sodistant,treatingthem,asiftheyscarcelyexisted,ornotmorethanthebobbinsofthread。
  Andthen,iftheywereimpudent,hesaidquietly:,“Doyoumind,goingonwithyourwork,“andstoodandwatched。
  Whenhecelebratedhistwenty-thirdbirthday,thehousewas,introuble。Arthurwasjustgoingtobemarried。Hismotherwas,notwell。Hisfather,gettinganoldman,andlamefromhisaccidents,wasgivenapaltry,poorjob。Miriamwasaneternalreproach。
  Hefeltheowedhimselftoher,yetcouldnotgivehimself。Thehouse,moreover,neededhissupport。Hewaspulledinalldirections。
  Hewasnotgladitwashisbirthday。Itmadehimbitter。
  Hegottoworkateighto’clock。Mostoftheclerkshadnot,turnedup。Thegirlswerenotduetill8。30。Ashewaschanging,hiscoat,heheardavoicebehindhimsay:
  “Paul,Paul,Iwantyou。”
  ItwasFanny,thehunchback,standingatthetopofherstairs,herfaceradiantwithasecret。Paullookedatherinastonishment。
  “Iwantyou,“shesaid。
  Hestood,ataloss。
  “Comeon,“shecoaxed。”Comebeforeyoubeginontheletters。”
  Hewentdownthehalf-dozenstepsintoherdry,narrow,“finishing-off“room。Fannywalkedbeforehim:,herblackbodicewas,short——thewaistwasunderherarmpits——andhergreen-blackcashmereskirt,seemedverylong,asshestrodewithbigstridesbeforetheyoungman,himselfsograceful。Shewenttoherseatatthenarrowendoftheroom,wherethewindowopenedontochimney-pots。Paulwatchedherthin,handsandherflatredwristsassheexcitedlytwitchedherwhite,apron,whichwasspreadonthebenchinfrontofher。Shehesitated。
  “Youdidn’tthinkwe’dforgotyou?”sheasked,reproachful。
  “Why?”heasked。Hehadforgottenhisbirthdayhimself。
  “’Why,’hesays!,’Why!’,Why,lookhere!”Shepointed,tothecalendar,andhesaw,surroundingthebigblacknumber,“21“hundredsoflittlecrossesinblack-lead。
  “Oh,kissesformybirthday,“helaughed。”Howdidyouknow?”
  “Yes,youwanttoknow,don’tyou?”Fannymocked,hugelydelighted。
  “There’sonefromeverybody——exceptLadyClara——andtwofromsome。
  ButIshan’ttellyouhowmanyIput。”
  “Oh,Iknow,you’respooney,“hesaid。
  “ThereyouAREmistaken!”shecried,indignant。”Icould,neverbesosoft。”,Hervoicewasstrongandcontralto。
  “Youalwayspretendtobesuchahard-heartedhussy,“helaughed。
  “Andyouknowyou’reassentimental——“
  “I’dratherbecalledsentimentalthanfrozenmeat,“
  Fannyblurted。PaulknewshereferredtoClara,andhesmiled。
  “Doyousaysuchnastythingsaboutme?”helaughed。
  “No,myduck,“thehunchbackwomananswered,lavishlytender。
  Shewasthirty-nine。”No,myduck,becauseyoudon’tthinkyourself,afinefigureinmarbleandusnothingbutdirt。I’masgoodasyou,aren’tI,Paul?”andthequestiondelightedher。
  “Why,we’renotbetterthanoneanother,arewe?”hereplied。
  “ButI’masgoodasyou,aren’tI,Paul?”shepersisteddaringly。
  “Ofcourseyouare。Ifitcomestogoodness,you’rebetter。”
  Shewasratherafraidofthesituation。Shemightgethysterical。
  “IthoughtI’dgetherebeforetheothers——won’ttheysayI’mdeep!
  Nowshutyoureyes——“shesaid。
  “Andopenyourmouth,andseewhatGodsendsyou,“hecontinued,suitingactiontowords,andexpectingapieceofchocolate。
  Heheardtherustleoftheapron,andafaintclinkofmetal。
  “I’mgoingtolook,“hesaid。
  Heopenedhiseyes。Fanny,herlongcheeksflushed,herblueeyesshining,wasgazingathim。Therewasalittle,bundleofpaint-tubesonthebenchbeforehim。Heturnedpale。
  “No,Fanny,“hesaidquickly。
  “Fromusall,“sheansweredhastily。
  “No,but——“
  “Aretheytherightsort?”sheasked,rockingherselfwithdelight。
  “Jove!they’rethebestinthecatalogue。”
  “Butthey’retherightsorts?”shecried。
  “They’reoffthelittlelistI’dmadetogetwhenmyship,camein。”,Hebithislip。
  Fannywasovercomewithemotion。Shemustturntheconversation。
  “Theywasallonthornstodoit;theyallpaidtheirshares,allexcepttheQueenofSheba。”
  TheQueenofShebawasClara。
  “Andwouldn’tshejoin?”Paulasked。
  “Shedidn’tgetthechance;wenevertoldher;wewasn’tgoing,tohaveHERbossingTHISshow。Wedidn’tWANThertojoin。”
  Paullaughedatthewoman。Hewasmuchmoved。Atlasthe,mustgo。Shewasveryclosetohim。Suddenlysheflungherarms,roundhisneckandkissedhimvehemently。
  “Icangiveyouakissto-day,“shesaidapologetically。
  “You’velookedsowhite,it’smademyheartache。”
  Paulkissedher,andlefther。Herarmsweresopitifully,thinthathisheartachedalso。
  ThatdayhemetClaraasherandownstairstowashhishands,atdinner-time。
  “Youhavestayedtodinner!”heexclaimed。Itwasunusual,forher。
  “Yes;andIseemtohavedinedonoldsurgical-appliancestock。
  IMUSTgooutnow,orIshallfeelstaleindia-rubberrightthrough。”
  Shelingered。Heinstantlycaughtatherwish。
  “Youaregoinganywhere?”heasked。
  TheywenttogetheruptotheCastle。Outdoorsshedressed,veryplainly,downtougliness;indoorsshealwayslookednice。
  ShewalkedwithhesitatingstepsalongsidePaul,bowingandturning,awayfromhim。Dowdyindress,anddrooping,sheshowedto,greatdisadvantage。Hecouldscarcelyrecogniseherstrongform,thatseemedtoslumberwithpower。Sheappearedalmostinsignificant,drowningherstatureinherstoop,assheshrankfromthepublicgaze。
  TheCastlegroundswereverygreenandfresh。Climbingthe,precipitousascent,helaughedandchattered,butshewassilent,seemingtobroodoversomething。Therewasscarcelytimetogo,insidethesquat,squarebuildingthatcrownsthebluffofrock。
  TheyleaneduponthewallwherethecliffrunssheerdowntothePark。
  Belowthem,intheirholesinthesandstone,pigeonspreened,themselvesandcooedsoftly。Awaydownupontheboulevardat,thefootoftherock,tinytreesstoodintheirownpoolsofshadow,andtinypeoplewentscurryingaboutinalmostludicrousimportance。
  “Youfeelasifyoucouldscoopupthefolkliketadpoles,andhaveahandfulofthem,“hesaid。
  Shelaughed,answering:
  “Yes;itisnotnecessarytogetfaroffinordertosee,usproportionately。Thetreesaremuchmoresignificant。”
  “Bulkonly,“hesaid。
  Shelaughedcynically。
  Awaybeyondtheboulevardthethinstripesofthemetals,showedupontherailway-track,whosemarginwascrowdedwithlittle,stacksoftimber,besidewhichsmokingtoyenginesfussed。
  Thenthesilverstringofthecanallayatrandomamongthe,blackheaps。Beyond,thedwellings,verydenseontheriverflat,lookedlikeblack,poisonousherbage,inthickrowsandcrowdedbeds,stretchingrightaway,brokennowandthenbytallerplants,righttowheretheriverglistenedinahieroglyphacrossthecountry。
  Thesteepscarpcliffsacrosstheriverlookedpuny。Greatstretches,ofcountrydarkenedwithtreesandfaintlybrightenedwithcorn-land,spreadtowardsthehaze,wherethehillsrosebluebeyondgrey。
  “Itiscomforting,“saidMrs。Dawes,“tothinkthetowngoes,nofarther。ItisonlyaLITTLEsoreuponthecountryyet。”
  “Alittlescab,“Paulsaid。
  Sheshivered。Sheloathedthetown。Lookingdrearilyacross,atthecountrywhichwasforbiddenher,herimpassiveface,pale,andhostile,sheremindedPaulofoneofthebitter,remorsefulangels。
  “Butthetown’sallright,“hesaid;“it’sonlytemporary。
  Thisisthecrude,clumsymake-shiftwe’vepractisedon,tillwefind,outwhattheideais。Thetownwillcomeallright。”
  Thepigeonsinthepocketsofrock,amongtheperchedbushes,cooedcomfortably。TotheleftthelargechurchofSt。Maryrose,intospace,tokeepclosecompanywiththeCastle,abovetheheaped,rubbleofthetown。Mrs。Dawessmiledbrightlyasshelookedacross,thecountry。
  “Ifeelbetter,“shesaid。
  “Thankyou,“hereplied。”Greatcompliment!”
  “Oh,mybrother!”shelaughed。
  “H’m!that’ssnatchingbackwiththelefthandwhatyougave,withtheright,andnomistake,“hesaid。
  Shelaughedinamusementathim。
  “Butwhatwasthematterwithyou?”heasked。”Iknowyou,werebroodingsomethingspecial。Icanseethestampofit,onyourfaceyet。”
  “IthinkIwillnottellyou,“shesaid。
  “Allright,hugit,“heanswered。
  Sheflushedandbitherlip。
  “No,“shesaid,“itwasthegirls。”
  “Whatabout’em?”Paulasked。
  “Theyhavebeenplottingsomethingforaweeknow,andto-day,theyseemparticularlyfullofit。Allalike;theyinsultme,withtheirsecrecy。”
  “Dothey?”heaskedinconcern。
  “Ishouldnotmind,“shewenton,inthemetallic,angrytone,“iftheydidnotthrustitintomyface——thefactthattheyhave,asecret。”
  “Justlikewomen,“saidhe。
  “Itishateful,theirmeangloating,“shesaidintensely。
  Paulwassilent。Heknewwhatthegirlsgloatedover。
  Hewassorrytobethecauseofthisnewdissension。
  “Theycanhaveallthesecretsintheworld,“shewenton,broodingbitterly;“buttheymightrefrainfromgloryinginthem,andmakingmefeelmoreoutofitthanever。Itis——itis,almostunbearable。”
  Paulthoughtforafewminutes。Hewasmuchperturbed。
  “Iwilltellyouwhatit’sallabout,“hesaid,paleandnervous。
  “It’smybirthday,andthey’veboughtmeafinelotofpaints,allthegirls。They’rejealousofyou“——hefeltherstiffencoldly,attheword’jealous’——“merelybecauseIsometimesbringyouabook,“
  headdedslowly。”But,yousee,it’sonlyatrifle。Don’tbother,aboutit,willyou——because“——helaughedquickly——“well,whatwouldthey,sayiftheysawusherenow,inspiteoftheirvictory?”
  Shewasangrywithhimforhisclumsyreferenceto,theirpresentintimacy。Itwasalmostinsolentofhim。
  Yethewassoquiet,sheforgavehim,althoughitcostheraneffort。
  TheirtwohandslayontheroughstoneparapetoftheCastlewall。
  Hehadinheritedfromhismotherafinenessofmould,sothat,hishandsweresmallandvigorous。Herswerelarge,tomatchher,largelimbs,butwhiteandpowerfullooking。AsPaullookedatthem,heknewher。”Sheiswantingsomebodytotakeherhands——forallshe,issocontemptuousofus,“hesaidtohimself。Andshesawnothingbut,histwohands,sowarmandalive,whichseemedtoliveforher。Hewas,broodingnow,staringoutoverthecountryfromundersullenbrows。
  Thelittle,interestingdiversityofshapeshadvanishedfromthescene;
  allthatremainedwasavast,darkmatrixofsorrowandtragedy,thesameinallthehousesandtheriver-flatsandthepeopleand,thebirds;theywereonlyshapendifferently。Andnowthattheforms,seemedtohavemeltedaway,thereremainedthemassfromwhichall,thelandscapewascomposed,adarkmassofstruggleandpain。
  Thefactory,thegirls,hismother,thelarge,upliftedchurch,thethicketofthetown,mergedintooneatmosphere——dark,brooding,andsorrowful,everybit。
  “Isthattwoo’clockstriking?”Mrs。Dawessaidinsurprise。
  Paulstarted,andeverythingsprangintoform,regained,itsindividuality,itsforgetfulness,anditscheerfulness。
  Theyhurriedbacktowork。
  Whenhewasintherushofpreparingforthenight’spost,examiningtheworkupfromFanny’sroom,whichsmeltofironing,theeveningpostmancamein。
  “’Mr。PaulMorel,’“hesaid,smiling,handingPaulapackage。
  “Alady’shandwriting!,Don’tletthegirlsseeit。”
  Thepostman,himselfafavourite,waspleasedtomakefun,ofthegirls’affectionforPaul。
  Itwasavolumeofversewithabriefnote:,“Youwillallowme,tosendyouthis,andsosparememyisolation。Ialsosympathise,andwishyouwell——C。D。”,Paulflushedhot。
  “GoodLord!,Mrs。Dawes。Shecan’taffordit。GoodLord,whoever’dhavethoughtit!”
  Hewassuddenlyintenselymoved。Hewasfilledwiththewarmth,ofher。Intheglowhecouldalmostfeelherasifshewere,present——herarms,hershoulders,herbosom,seethem,feelthem,almostcontainthem。
  ThismoveonthepartofClarabroughtthemintocloserintimacy。
  TheothergirlsnoticedthatwhenPaulmetMrs。Daweshiseyeslifted,andgavethatpeculiarbrightgreetingwhichtheycouldinterpret。
  Knowinghewasunaware,Claramadenosign,savethat,occasionallysheturnedasideherfacefromhimwhenhecameuponher。
  Theywalkedouttogetherveryoftenatdinner-time;itwas,quiteopen,quitefrank。Everybodyseemedtofeelthathewasquite,unawareofthestateofhisownfeeling,andthatnothingwaswrong。
  Hetalkedtohernowwithsomeoftheoldfervourwithwhichhe,hadtalkedtoMiriam,buthecaredlessaboutthetalk;hedid,notbotherabouthisconclusions。
  OnedayinOctobertheywentouttoLambleyfortea。
  Suddenlytheycametoahaltontopofthehill。Heclimbedandsat,onagate,shesatonthestile。Theafternoonwasperfectlystill,withadimhaze,andyellowsheavesglowingthrough。Theywerequiet。
  “Howoldwereyouwhenyoumarried?”heaskedquietly。
  “Twenty-two。”
  Hervoicewassubdued,almostsubmissive。Shewouldtell,himnow。
  “Itiseightyearsago?”
  “Yes。”
  “Andwhendidyouleavehim?”
  “Threeyearsago。”
  “Fiveyears!,Didyoulovehimwhenyoumarriedhim?”
  Shewassilentforsometime;thenshesaidslowly:
  “IthoughtIdid——moreorless。Ididn’tthinkmuchaboutit。
  Andhewantedme。Iwasveryprudishthen。”
  “Andyousortofwalkedintoitwithoutthinking?”
  “Yes。Iseemedtohavebeenasleepnearlyallmylife。”
  “Somnambule?,But——whendidyouwakeup?”
  “Idon’tknowthatIeverdid,oreverhave——sinceIwasachild。”
  “Youwenttosleepasyougrewtobeawoman?,Howqueer!
  Andhedidn’twakeyou?”
  “No;henevergotthere,“shereplied,inamonotone。
  Thebrownbirdsdashedoverthehedgeswheretherose-hips,stoodnakedandscarlet。
  “Gotwhere?”heasked。
  “Atme。Heneverreallymatteredtome。”
  Theafternoonwassogentlywarmanddim。Redroofs,ofthecottagesburnedamongthebluehaze。Helovedtheday。
  Hecouldfeel,buthecouldnotunderstand,whatClarawassaying。
  “Butwhydidyouleavehim?,Washehorridtoyou?”
  Sheshudderedlightly。
  “He——hesortofdegradedme。Hewantedtobullymebecausehe,hadn’tgotme。AndthenIfeltasifIwantedtorun,asifI
  wasfastenedandboundup。Andheseemeddirty。”
  “Isee。”
  Hedidnotatallsee。
  “Andwashealwaysdirty?”heasked。
  “Abit,“sherepliedslowly。”Andthenheseemedasifhe,couldn’tgetATme,really。Andthenhegotbrutal——heWASbrutal!”
  “Andwhydidyouleavehimfinally?”
  “Because——becausehewasunfaithfultome——“
  Theywerebothsilentforsometime。Herhandlayonthegate-post,asshebalanced。Heputhisownoverit。Hisheartbeatquickly。
  “Butdidyou——wereyouever——didyouevergivehimachance?”
  “Chance?,How?”
  “Tocomeneartoyou。”
  “Imarriedhim——andIwaswilling——“
  Theybothstrovetokeeptheirvoicessteady。
  “Ibelievehelovesyou,“hesaid。
  “Itlookslikeit,“shereplied。
  Hewantedtotakehishandaway,andcouldnot。Shesaved,himbyremovingherown。Afterasilence,hebeganagain:
  “Didyouleavehimoutofcountallalong?”
  “Heleftme,“shesaid。
  “AndIsupposehecouldn’tMAKEhimselfmeaneverythingtoyou?”
  “Hetriedtobullymeintoit。”
  Buttheconversationhadgotthembothoutoftheirdepth。
  SuddenlyPauljumpeddown。
  “Comeon,“hesaid。”Let’sgoandgetsometea。”