Shestrokedhishairslowlywithherthinhand。
  “Don’tcry,“shesaid。”Don’tcry——it’snothing。”
  Buthefeltasifhisbloodwasmeltingintotears,andhe,criedinterrorandpain。
  “Don’t——don’tcry,“hismotherfaltered。
  Slowlyshestrokedhishair。Shockedoutofhimself,hecried,andthetearshurtineveryfibreofhisbody。Suddenlyhestopped,buthedarednotlifthisfaceoutofthebedclothes。
  “YouARElate。Wherehaveyoubeen?”hismotherasked。
  “Thetrainwaslate,“hereplied,muffledinthesheet。
  “Yes;thatmiserableCentral!,IsNewtoncome?”
  “Yes。”
  “I’msureyoumustbehungry,andthey’vekeptdinnerwaiting。”
  Withawrenchhelookedupather。
  “Whatisit,mother?”heaskedbrutally。
  Sheavertedhereyesassheanswered:
  “Onlyabitofatumour,myboy。Youneedn’ttrouble。
  It’sbeenthere——thelumphas——alongtime。”
  Upcamethetearsagain。Hismindwasclearandhard,buthisbodywascrying。
  “Where?”hesaid。
  Sheputherhandonherside。
  “Here。Butyouknowtheycanswealatumouraway。”
  Hestoodfeelingdazedandhelpless,likeachild。Hethought,perhapsitwasasshesaid。Yes;hereassuredhimselfitwasso。
  Butallthewhilehisbloodandhisbodyknewdefinitelywhatitwas。
  Hesatdownonthebed,andtookherhand。Shehadneverhadbutthe,onering——herwedding-ring。
  “Whenwereyoupoorly?”heasked。
  “Itwasyesterdayitbegan,“sheansweredsubmissively。
  “Pains?”
  “Yes;butnotmorethanI’veoftenhadathome。Ibelieve,Dr。Ansellisanalarmist。”
  “Yououghtnottohavetravelledalone,“hesaid,tohimself,morethantoher。
  “Asifthathadanythingtodowithit!”sheansweredquickly。
  Theyweresilentforawhile。
  “Nowgoandhaveyourdinner,“shesaid。”YouMUSTbehungry。”
  “Haveyouhadyours?”
  “Yes;abeautifulsoleIhad。AnnieISgoodtome。”
  Theytalkedalittlewhile,thenhewentdownstairs。
  Hewasverywhiteandstrained。Newtonsatinmiserablesympathy。
  AfterdinnerhewentintothescullerytohelpAnnietowashup。
  Thelittlemaidhadgoneonanerrand。
  “Isitreallyatumour?”heasked。
  Anniebegantocryagain。
  “Thepainshehadyesterday——Ineversawanybodysufferlikeit!”
  shecried。”LeonardranlikeamadmanforDr。Ansell,andwhenshe’d,gottobedshesaidtome:,’Annie,lookatthislumponmyside。
  Iwonderwhatitis?’,AndthereIlooked,andIthoughtIshould,havedropped。Paul,astrueasI’mhere,it’salumpasbigasmy,doublefist。Isaid:,’Goodgracious,mother,wheneverdidthatcome?’
  ’Why,child,’shesaid,’it’sbeentherealongtime。’,IthoughtI
  shouldhavedied,ourPaul,Idid。She’sbeenhavingthesepains,formonthsathome,andnobodylookingafterher。”
  Thetearscametohiseyes,thendriedsuddenly。
  “Butshe’sbeenattendingthedoctorinNottingham——andshe,nevertoldme,“hesaid。
  “IfI’dhavebeenathome,“saidAnnie,“Ishouldhaveseen,formyself。”
  Hefeltlikeamanwalkinginunrealities。Intheafternoon,hewenttoseethedoctor。Thelatterwasashrewd,lovableman。
  “Butwhatisit?”hesaid。
  Thedoctorlookedattheyoungman,thenknittedhisfingers。
  “Itmaybealargetumourwhichhasformedinthemembrane,“
  hesaidslowly,“andwhichweMAYbeabletomakegoaway。”
  “Can’tyouoperate?”askedPaul。
  “Notthere,“repliedthedoctor。
  “Areyousure?”
  “QUITE!”
  Paulmeditatedawhile。
  “Areyousureit’satumour?”heasked。”WhydidDr。Jameson,inNottinghamneverfindoutanythingaboutit?,She’sbeengoing,tohimforweeks,andhe’streatedherforheartandindigestion。”
  “Mrs。MorelnevertoldDr。Jamesonaboutthelump,“saidthedoctor。
  “AnddoyouKNOWit’satumour?”
  “No,Iamnotsure。”
  “WhatelseMIGHTitbe?,Youaskedmysisteriftherewas,cancerinthefamily。Mightitbecancer?”
  “Idon’tknow。”
  “Andwhatshallyoudo?”
  “Ishouldlikeanexamination,withDr。Jameson。”
  “Thenhaveone。”
  “Youmustarrangeaboutthat。Hisfeewouldn’tbelessthan,tenguineastocomeherefromNottingham。”
  “Whenwouldyoulikehimtocome?”
  “Iwillcallinthisevening,andwewilltalkitover。”
  Paulwentaway,bitinghislip。
  Hismothercouldcomedownstairsfortea,thedoctorsaid。
  Hersonwentupstairstohelpher。Sheworetheold-rosedressing-gown,thatLeonardhadgivenAnnie,and,withalittlecolourinherface,wasquiteyoungagain。
  “Butyoulookquiteprettyinthat,“hesaid。
  “Yes;theymakemesofine,Ihardlyknowmyself,“sheanswered。
  Butwhenshestooduptowalk,thecolourwent。Paulhelpedher,half-carryingher。Atthetopofthestairsshewasgone。Helifted,herupandcarriedherquicklydownstairs;laidheronthecouch。
  Shewaslightandfrail。Herfacelookedasifsheweredead,withbluelipsshuttight。Hereyesopened——herblue,unfailingeyes——
  andshelookedathimpleadingly,almostwantinghimtoforgiveher。
  Heheldbrandytoherlips,buthermouthwouldnotopen。
  Allthetimeshewatchedhimlovingly。Shewasonlysorryforhim。
  Thetearsrandownhisfacewithoutceasing,butnotamusclemoved。
  Hewasintentongettingalittlebrandybetweenherlips。
  Soonshewasabletoswallowateaspoonful。Shelayback,sotired。
  Thetearscontinuedtorundownhisface。
  “But,“shepanted,“it’llgooff。Don’tcry!”
  “I’mnotdoing,“hesaid。
  Afterawhileshewasbetteragain。Hewaskneelingbeside,thecouch。Theylookedintoeachother’seyes。
  “Idon’twantyoutomakeatroubleofit,“shesaid。
  “No,mother。You’llhavetobequitestill,andthenyou’ll,getbettersoon。”
  Buthewaswhitetothelips,andtheireyesastheylooked,ateachotherunderstood。Hereyesweresoblue——suchawonderful,forget-me-notblue!,Hefeltifonlytheyhadbeenofadifferent,colourhecouldhaveborneitbetter。Hisheartseemedtobe,rippingslowlyinhisbreast。Hekneeledthere,holdingherhand,andneithersaidanything。ThenAnniecamein。
  “Areyouallright?”shemurmuredtimidlytohermother。
  “Ofcourse,“saidMrs。Morel。
  PaulsatdownandtoldheraboutBlackpool。Shewascurious。
  Adayortwoafter,hewenttoseeDr。JamesoninNottingham,toarrangeforaconsultation。Paulhadpracticallynomoneyin,theworld。Buthecouldborrow。
  Hismotherhadbeenusedtogotothepublicconsultationon,Saturdaymorning,whenshecouldseethedoctorforonlyanominalsum。
  Hersonwentonthesameday。Thewaiting-roomwasfullofpoorwomen,whosatpatientlyonabencharoundthewall。Paulthoughtof,hismother,inherlittleblackcostume,sittingwaitinglikewise。
  Thedoctorwaslate。Thewomenalllookedratherfrightened。
  Paulaskedthenurseinattendanceifhecouldseethedoctor,immediatelyhecame。Itwasarrangedso。Thewomensitting,patientlyroundthewallsoftheroomeyedtheyoungmancuriously。
  Atlastthedoctorcame。Hewasaboutforty,good-looking,brown-skinned。Hiswifehaddied,andhe,whohadlovedher,hadspecialisedonwomen’sailments。
  Paultoldhisnameandhismother’s。Thedoctordidnotremember。
  “Numberforty-sixM。”saidthenurse;andthedoctorlooked,upthecaseinhisbook。
  “Thereisabiglumpthatmaybeatumour,“saidPaul。
  “ButDr。Ansellwasgoingtowriteyoualetter。”
  “Ah,yes!”repliedthedoctor,drawingtheletterfrom,hispocket。Hewasveryfriendly,affable,busy,kind。Hewould,cometoSheffieldthenextday。
  “Whatisyourfather?”heasked。
  “Heisacoal-miner,“repliedPaul。
  “Notverywelloff,Isuppose?”
  “This——Iseeafterthis,“saidPaul。
  “Andyou?”smiledthedoctor。
  “IamaclerkinJordan’sApplianceFactory。”
  Thedoctorsmiledathim。
  “Er——togotoSheffield!”hesaid,puttingthetipsofhis,fingerstogether,andsmilingwithhiseyes。”Eightguineas?”
  “Thankyou!”saidPaul,flushingandrising。”Andyou’ll,cometo-morrow?”
  “To-morrow——Sunday?,Yes!,Canyoutellmeaboutwhattimethere,isatrainintheafternoon?”
  “ThereisaCentralgetsinatfour-fifteen。”
  “Andwilltherebeanywayofgettinguptothehouse?
  ShallIhavetowalk?”Thedoctorsmiled。
  “Thereisthetram,“saidPaul;“theWesternParktram。”
  Thedoctormadeanoteofit。
  “Thankyou!”hesaid,andshookhands。
  ThenPaulwentonhometoseehisfather,whowasleftin,thechargeofMinnie。WalterMorelwasgettingverygreynow。
  Paulfoundhimdigginginthegarden。Hehadwrittenhimaletter。
  Heshookhandswithhisfather。
  “Hello,son!,Thahaslanded,then?”saidthefather。
  “Yes,“repliedtheson。”ButI’mgoingbackto-night。”
  “Areter,beguy!”exclaimedthecollier。”An’hastereatenowt?”
  “No。”
  “That’sjustlikethee,“saidMorel。”Comethywaysin。”
  Thefatherwasafraidofthementionofhiswife。Thetwo,wentindoors。Paulateinsilence;hisfather,withearthyhands,andsleevesrolledup,satinthearm-chairoppositeandlooked,athim。
  “Well,an’howisshe?”askedthemineratlength,inalittlevoice。
  “Shecansitup;shecanbecarrieddownfortea,“saidPaul。
  “That’sablessin’!”exclaimedMorel。”Ihopewes’llsoon,behavin’herwhoam,then。An’what’sthatNottinghamdoctorsay?”
  “He’sgoingto-morrowtohaveanexaminationofher。”
  “Ishebeguy!,That’satidypenny,I’mthinkin’!”
  “Eightguineas。”
  “Eightguineas!”theminerspokebreathlessly。”Well,wemun,finditfromsomewhere。”
  “Icanpaythat,“saidPaul。
  Therewassilencebetweenthemforsometime。
  “Shesaysshehopesyou’regettingonallrightwithMinnie,“
  Paulsaid。
  “Yes,I’mallright,an’Iwishasshewas,“answeredMorel。
  “ButMinnie’sagoodlittlewench,bless’erheart!”Hesat,lookingdismal。
  “Is’llhavetobegoingathalf-pastthree,“saidPaul。
  “It’satrapseforthee,lad!,Eightguineas!,An’whendost,thinkshe’llbeabletogetasfarasthis?”
  “Wemustseewhatthedoctorssayto-morrow,“Paulsaid。
  Morelsigheddeeply。Thehouseseemedstrangelyempty,andPaulthoughthisfatherlookedlost,forlorn,andold。
  “You’llhavetogoandseehernextweek,father,“hesaid。
  “Ihopeshe’llbea-whoambythattime,“saidMorel。
  “Ifshe’snot,“saidPaul,“thenyoumustcome。”
  “IdunnowheerIs’llfindth’money,“saidMorel。
  “AndI’llwritetoyouwhatthedoctorsays,“saidPaul。
  “Butthawritesi’suchafashion,Icannama’eitout,“
  saidMorel。
  “Well,I’llwriteplain。”
  ItwasnogoodaskingMoreltoanswer,forhecouldscarcely,domorethanwritehisownname。
  Thedoctorcame。Leonardfeltithisdutytomeethimwithacab。
  Theexaminationdidnottakelong。Annie,Arthur,Paul,andLeonard,werewaitingintheparlouranxiously。Thedoctorscamedown。
  Paulglancedatthem。Hehadneverhadanyhope,exceptwhenhehad,deceivedhimself。
  “ItMAYbeatumour;wemustwaitandsee,“saidDr。Jameson。
  “Andifitis,“saidAnnie,“canyouswealitaway?”
  “Probably,“saidthedoctor。
  Paulputeightsovereignsandhalfasovereignonthetable。
  Thedoctorcountedthem,tookaflorinoutofhispurse,andput,thatdown。
  “Thankyou!”hesaid。”I’msorryMrs。Morelissoill。
  Butwemustseewhatwecando。”
  “Therecan’tbeanoperation?”saidPaul。
  Thedoctorshookhishead。
  “No,“hesaid;“andeveniftherecould,herheartwouldn’t,standit。”
  “Isherheartrisky?”askedPaul。
  “Yes;youmustbecarefulwithher。”
  “Veryrisky?”
  “No——er——no,no!,Justtakecare。”
  Andthedoctorwasgone。
  ThenPaulcarriedhismotherdownstairs。Shelaysimply,likeachild。Butwhenhewasonthestairs,sheputherarmsround,hisneck,clinging。
  “I’msofrightenedofthesebeastlystairs,“shesaid。
  Andhewasfrightened,too。HewouldletLeonarddoit,anothertime。Hefelthecouldnotcarryher。
  “Hethinksit’sonlyatumour!”criedAnnietohermother。
  “Andhecanswealitaway。”
  “IKNEWhecould,“protestedMrs。Morelscornfully。
  ShepretendednottonoticethatPaulhadgoneoutoftheroom。
  Hesatinthekitchen,smoking。Thenhetriedtobrushsomegreyash,offhiscoat。Helookedagain。Itwasoneofhismother’sgreyhairs。
  Itwassolong!,Hehelditup,anditdriftedintothechimney。
  Heletgo。Thelonggreyhairfloatedandwasgoneintheblackness,ofthechimney。
  Thenextdayhekissedherbeforegoingbacktowork。
  Itwasveryearlyinthemorning,andtheywerealone。
  “Youwon’tfret,myboy!”shesaid。
  “No,mother。”
  “No;itwouldbesilly。Andtakecareofyourself。”
  “Yes,“heanswered。Then,afterawhile:,“AndIshallcome,nextSaturday,andshallbringmyfather?”
  “Isupposehewantstocome,“shereplied。”Atanyrate,ifhedoesyou’llhavetolethim。”
  Hekissedheragain,andstrokedthehairfromhertemples,gently,tenderly,asifshewerealover。
  “Shan’tyoubelate?”shemurmured。
  “I’mgoing,“hesaid,verylow。
  Stillhesatafewminutes,strokingthebrownandgreyhair,fromhertemples。
  “Andyouwon’tbeanyworse,mother?”
  “No,myson。”
  “Youpromiseme?”
  “Yes;Iwon’tbeanyworse。”
  Hekissedher,heldherinhisarmsforamoment,andwasgone。
  Intheearlysunnymorningherantothestation,cryingalltheway;
  hedidnotknowwhatfor。Andherblueeyeswerewideandstaring,asshethoughtofhim。
  IntheafternoonhewentawalkwithClara。Theysat,inthelittlewoodwherebluebellswerestanding。Hetookherhand。
  “You’llsee,“hesaidtoClara,“she’llneverbebetter。”
  “Oh,youdon’tknow!”repliedtheother。
  “Ido,“hesaid。
  Shecaughthimimpulsivelytoherbreast。
  “Tryandforgetit,dear,“shesaid;“tryandforgetit。”
  “Iwill,“heanswered。
  Herbreastwasthere,warmforhim;herhandswereinhishair。
  Itwascomforting,andheheldhisarmsroundher。Buthedid,notforget。HeonlytalkedtoClaraofsomethingelse。Andit,wasalwaysso。Whenshefeltitcoming,theagony,shecried,tohim:
  “Don’tthinkofit,Paul!,Don’tthinkofit,mydarling!”
  Andshepressedhimtoherbreast,rockedhim,soothedhim,likeachild。Soheputthetroubleasideforhersake,totakeit,upagainimmediatelyhewasalone。Allthetime,ashewentabout,hecriedmechanically。Hismindandhandswerebusy。Hecried,hedidnotknowwhy。Itwashisbloodweeping。Hewasjustasmuch,alonewhetherhewaswithClaraorwiththemenintheWhiteHorse。
  Justhimselfandthispressureinsidehim,thatwasallthatexisted。
  Hereadsometimes。Hehadtokeephismindoccupied。AndClarawasa,wayofoccupyinghismind。
  OntheSaturdayWalterMorelwenttoSheffield。Hewas,aforlornfigure,lookingratherasifnobodyownedhim。
  Paulranupstairs。
  “Myfather’scome,“hesaid,kissinghismother。
  “Hashe?”sheansweredwearily。
  Theoldcolliercameratherfrightenedintothebedroom。
  “HowdunIfindthee,lass?”hesaid,goingforwardandkissing,herinahasty,timidfashion。
  “Well,I’mmiddlin’,“shereplied。
  “Iseethaart,“hesaid。Hestoodlookingdownonher。
  Thenhewipedhiseyeswithhishandkerchief。Helpless,andasif,nobodyownedhim,helooked。
  “Haveyougoneonallright?”askedthewife,ratherwearily,asifitwereanefforttotalktohim。
  “Yis,“heanswered。”’Er’sabitbehint-handnowandagain,as,yermightexpect。”
  “Doesshehaveyourdinnerready?”askedMrs。Morel。
  “Well,I’ve’adtoshoutat’eronceortwice,“hesaid。
  “AndyouMUSTshoutatherifshe’snotready。SheWILLleave,thingstothelastminute。”
  Shegavehimafewinstructions。Hesatlookingatheras,ifshewerealmostastrangertohim,beforewhomhewasawkward,andhumble,andalsoasifhehadlosthispresenceofmind,andwantedtorun。Thisfeelingthathewantedtorunaway,thathewasonthornstobegonefromsotryingasituation,andyet,mustlingerbecauseitlookedbetter,madehispresencesotrying。
  Heputuphiseyebrowsformisery,andclenchedhisfistsonhisknees,feelingsoawkwardinpresenceofbigtrouble。
  Mrs。Moreldidnotchangemuch。ShestayedinSheffield,fortwomonths。Ifanything,attheendshewasratherworse。
  Butshewantedtogohome。Anniehadherchildren。Mrs。Morel,wantedtogohome。Sotheygotamotor-carfromNottingham——forshe,wastooilltogobytrain——andshewasdriventhroughthesunshine。
  ItwasjustAugust;everythingwasbrightandwarm。Undertheblue,skytheycouldallseeshewasdying。Yetshewasjollierthanshe,hadbeenforweeks。Theyalllaughedandtalked。
  “Annie,“sheexclaimed,“Isawalizarddartonthatrock!”
  Hereyesweresoquick;shewasstillsofulloflife。
  Morelknewshewascoming。Hehadthefrontdooropen。
  Everybodywasontiptoe。Halfthestreetturnedout。Theyheard,thesoundofthegreatmotor-car。Mrs。Morel,smiling,drovehome,downthestreet。
  “Andjustlookatthemallcomeouttoseeme!”shesaid。
  “Butthere,IsupposeIshouldhavedonethesame。Howdoyoudo,Mrs。Mathews?,Howareyou,Mrs。Harrison?”
  Theynoneofthemcouldhear,buttheysawhersmileandnod。
  Andtheyallsawdeathonherface,theysaid。Itwasagreatevent,inthestreet。
  Morelwantedtocarryherindoors,buthewastooold。
  Arthurtookherasifshewereachild。Theyhadsetherabig,deepchairbythehearthwhereherrocking-chairusedtostand。
  Whenshewasunwrappedandseated,andhaddrunkalittlebrandy,shelookedroundtheroom。
  “Don’tthinkIdon’tlikeyourhouse,Annie,“shesaid;
  “butit’snicetobeinmyownhomeagain。”
  AndMorelansweredhuskily:
  “Itis,lass,itis。”
  AndMinnie,thelittlequaintmaid,said:
  “An’wegladt’’aveyer。”
  Therewasalovelyyellowravelofsunflowersinthegarden。
  Shelookedoutofthewindow。
  “Therearemysunflowers!”shesaid。
  CHAPTERXIV
  THERELEASE
  “Bytheway,“saidDr。AnselloneeveningwhenMorelwas,inSheffield,“we’vegotamaninthefeverhospitalherewhocomes,fromNottingham——Dawes。Hedoesn’tseemtohavemanybelongings,inthisworld。”
  “BaxterDawes!”Paulexclaimed。
  “That’stheman——hasbeenafinefellow,physically,Ishouldthink。
  Beeninabitofamesslately。Youknowhim?”
  “HeusedtoworkattheplacewhereIam。”
  “Didhe?,Doyouknowanythingabouthim?,He’sjustsulking,orhe’dbealotbetterthanheisbynow。”
  “Idon’tknowanythingofhishomecircumstances,exceptthat,he’sseparatedfromhiswifeandhasbeenabitdown,Ibelieve。
  Buttellhimaboutme,willyou?,TellhimI’llcomeandseehim。”
  ThenexttimeMorelsawthedoctorhesaid:
  “AndwhataboutDawes?”
  “Isaidtohim,“answeredtheother,“’Doyouknowamanfrom,NottinghamnamedMorel?’andhelookedatmeasifhe’djumpat,mythroat。SoIsaid:,’Iseeyouknowthename;it’sPaulMorel。’
  ThenItoldhimaboutyoursayingyouwouldgoandseehim。
  ’Whatdoeshewant?’hesaid,asifyouwereapoliceman。”
  “Anddidhesayhewouldseeme?”askedPaul。
  “Hewouldn’tsayanything——good,badorindifferent,“
  repliedthedoctor。
  “Whynot?”
  “That’swhatIwanttoknow。Thereheliesandsulks,dayin,dayout。Can’tgetawordofinformationoutofhim。”
  “DoyouthinkImightgo?”askedPaul。
  “Youmight。”
  Therewasafeelingofconnectionbetweentherivalmen,morethaneversincetheyhadfought。InawayMorelfeltguilty,towardstheother,andmoreorlessresponsible。Andbeinginsuch,astateofsoulhimself,hefeltanalmostpainfulnearnesstoDawes,whowassufferinganddespairing,too。Besides,theyhadmet,inanakedextremityofhate,anditwasabond。Atanyrate,theelementalmanineachhadmet。
  Hewentdowntotheisolationhospital,withDr。Ansell’scard。
  Thissister,ahealthyyoungIrishwoman,ledhimdowntheward。
  “Avisitortoseeyou,JimCrow,“shesaid。
  Dawesturnedoversuddenlywithastartledgrunt。
  “Eh?”
  “Caw!”shemocked。”Hecanonlysay’Caw!’,Ihavebroughtyou,agentlemantoseeyou。Nowsay’Thankyou,’andshowsomemanners。”
  Daweslookedswiftlywithhisdark,startledeyesbeyondthesister,atPaul。Hislookwasfulloffear,mistrust,hate,andmisery。
  Morelmettheswift,darkeyes,andhesitated。Thetwomenwere,afraidofthenakedselvestheyhadbeen。
  “Dr。Anselltoldmeyouwerehere,“saidMorel,holdingout,hishand。
  Dawesmechanicallyshookhands。
  “SoIthoughtI’dcomein,“continuedPaul。
  Therewasnoanswer。Daweslaystaringattheoppositewall。
  “Say’Caw!”’mockedthenurse。”Say’Caw!’,JimCrow。”
  “Heisgettingonallright?”saidPaultoher。
  “Ohyes!,Heliesandimagineshe’sgoingtodie,“saidthenurse,“anditfrightenseverywordoutofhismouth。”
  “AndyouMUSThavesomebodytotalkto,“laughedMorel。
  “That’sit!”laughedthenurse。”Onlytwooldmenandaboy,whoalwayscries。Itishardlines!,HereamIdyingtohearJim,Crow’svoice,andnothingbutanodd’Caw!’willhegive!”
  “Soroughonyou!”saidMorel。
  “Isn’tit?”saidthenurse。
  “IsupposeIamagodsend,“helaughed。
  “Oh,droppedstraightfromheaven!”laughedthenurse。
  Presentlysheleftthetwomenalone。Daweswasthinner,andhandsomeagain,butlifeseemedlowinhim。Asthedoctorsaid,hewaslyingsulking,andwouldnotmoveforwardtowardsconvalescence。
  Heseemedtogrudgeeverybeatofhisheart。
  “Haveyouhadabadtime?”askedPaul。
  SuddenlyagainDaweslookedathim。
  “WhatareyoudoinginSheffield?”heasked。
  “Mymotherwastakenillatmysister’sinThurstonStreet。
  Whatareyoudoinghere?”
  Therewasnoanswer。
  “Howlonghaveyoubeenin?”Morelasked。
  “Icouldn’tsayforsure,“Dawesansweredgrudgingly。
  Helaystaringacrossatthewallopposite,asiftryingto,believeMorelwasnotthere。Paulfelthisheartgohardandangry。
  “Dr。Anselltoldmeyouwerehere,“hesaidcoldly。
  Theothermandidnotanswer。
  “Typhoid’sprettybad,Iknow,“Morelpersisted。
  SuddenlyDawessaid:
  “Whatdidyoucomefor?”
  “BecauseDr。Ansellsaidyoudidn’tknowanybodyhere。
  Doyou?”
  “Iknownobodynowhere,“saidDawes。
  “Well,“saidPaul,“it’sbecauseyoudon’tchooseto,then。”
  Therewasanothersilence。
  “Wes’llbetakingmymotherhomeassoonaswecan,“
  saidPaul。
  “What’sa-matterwithher?”askedDawes,withasickman’s,interestinillness。
  “She’sgotacancer。”
  Therewasanothersilence。
  “Butwewanttogetherhome,“saidPaul。”Wes’llhavetoget,amotor-car。”
  Daweslaythinking。
  “Whydon’tyouaskThomasJordantolendyouhis?”saidDawes。
  “It’snotbigenough,“Morelanswered。
  Dawesblinkedhisdarkeyesashelaythinking。
  “ThenaskJackPilkington;he’dlendityou。Youknowhim。”
  “IthinkIs’llhireone,“saidPaul。
  “You’reafoolifyoudo,“saidDawes。
  Thesickmanwasgauntandhandsomeagain。Paulwassorry,forhimbecausehiseyeslookedsotired。
  “Didyougetajobhere?”heasked。
  “IwasonlyhereadayortwobeforeIwastakenbad,“
  Dawesreplied。
  “Youwanttogetinaconvalescenthome,“saidPaul。
  Theother’sfacecloudedagain。
  “I’mgoin’innoconvalescenthome,“hesaid。
  “Myfather’sbeenintheoneatSeathorpe,an’helikedit。
  Dr。Ansellwouldgetyouarecommend。”
  Daweslaythinking。Itwasevidenthedarednotface,theworldagain。
  “Theseasidewouldbeallrightjustnow,“Morelsaid。
  “Sunonthosesandhills,andthewavesnotfarout。”
  Theotherdidnotanswer。
  “ByGad!”Paulconcluded,toomiserabletobothermuch;
  “it’sallrightwhenyouknowyou’regoingtowalkagain,andswim!”
  Dawesglancedathimquickly。Theman’sdarkeyeswere,afraidtomeetanyothereyesintheworld。Buttherealmisery,andhelplessnessinPaul’stonegavehimafeelingofrelief。
  “Isshefargone?”heasked。
  “She’sgoinglikewax,“Paulanswered;“butcheerful——lively!”
  Hebithislip。Afteraminuteherose。
  “Well,I’llbegoing,“hesaid。”I’llleaveyouthishalf-crown。”
  “Idon’twantit,“Dawesmuttered。
  Moreldidnotanswer,butleftthecoinonthetable。
  “Well,“hesaid,“I’lltryandruninwhenI’mbackinSheffield。
  Happenyoumightliketoseemybrother-in-law?,HeworksinPyecrofts。”
  “Idon’tknowhim,“saidDawes。
  “He’sallright。ShouldItellhimtocome?,Hemightbring,yousomepaperstolookat。”
  Theothermandidnotanswer。Paulwent。Thestrongemotion,thatDawesarousedinhim,repressed,madehimshiver。
  Hedidnottellhismother,butnextdayhespoketoClara,aboutthisinterview。Itwasinthedinner-hour。Thetwodid,notoftengoouttogethernow,butthisdayheaskedhertogo,withhimtotheCastlegrounds。Theretheysatwhilethescarlet,geraniumsandtheyellowcalceolariasblazedinthesunlight。
  Shewasnowalwaysratherprotective,andratherresentfultowardshim。
  “DidyouknowBaxterwasinSheffieldHospitalwithtyphoid?”
  heasked。
  Shelookedathimwithstartledgreyeyes,andherfacewentpale。
  “No,“shesaid,frightened。
  “He’sgettingbetter。Iwenttoseehimyesterday——thedoctor,toldme。”
  Claraseemedstrickenbythenews。
  “Isheverybad?”sheaskedguiltily。
  “Hehasbeen。He’smendingnow。”
  “Whatdidhesaytoyou?”
  “Oh,nothing!,Heseemstobesulking。”
  Therewasadistancebetweenthetwoofthem。Hegaveher,moreinformation。
  Shewentaboutshutupandsilent。Thenexttimetheytook,awalktogether,shedisengagedherselffromhisarm,andwalked,atadistancefromhim。Hewaswantinghercomfortbadly。
  “Won’tyoubenicewithme?”heasked。
  Shedidnotanswer。
  “What’sthematter?”hesaid,puttinghisarmacrosshershoulder。
  “Don’t!”shesaid,disengagingherself。
  Heleftheralone,andreturnedtohisownbrooding。
  “IsitBaxterthatupsetsyou?”heaskedatlength。
  “IHAVEbeenVILEtohim!”shesaid。
  “I’vesaidmanyatimeyouhaven’ttreatedhimwell,“
  hereplied。
  Andtherewasahostilitybetweenthem。Eachpursuedhisown,trainofthought。
  “I’vetreatedhim——no,I’vetreatedhimbadly,“shesaid。
  “AndnowyoutreatMEbadly。Itservesmeright。”
  “HowdoItreatyoubadly?”hesaid。
  “Itservesmeright,“sherepeated。”Ineverconsideredhim,worthhaving,andnowyoudon’tconsiderME。Butitservesme,right。Helovedmeathousandtimesbetterthanyoueverdid。”
  “Hedidn’t!”protestedPaul。
  “Hedid!,Atanyrate,hedidrespectme,andthat’swhatyou,don’tdo。”
  “Itlookedasifherespectedyou!”hesaid。
  “Hedid!,AndIMADEhimhorrid——IknowIdid!,You’vetaught,methat。Andhelovedmeathousandtimesbetterthaneveryoudo。”
  “Allright,“saidPaul。
  Heonlywantedtobeleftalonenow。Hehadhisowntrouble,whichwasalmosttoomuchtobear。Claraonlytormentedhimandmade,himtired。Hewasnotsorrywhenhelefther。
  ShewentonthefirstopportunitytoSheffieldtosee,herhusband。Themeetingwasnotasuccess。Butshelefthim,rosesandfruitandmoney。Shewantedtomakerestitution。
  Itwasnotthatshelovedhim。Asshelookedathimlyingthere,herheartdidnotwarmwithlove。Onlyshewantedtohumble,herselftohim,tokneelbeforehim。Shewantednowtobe,self-sacrificial。Afterall,shehadfailedtomakeMorelreally,loveher。Shewasmorallyfrightened。Shewantedtodopenance。
  SoshekneeledtoDawes,anditgavehimasubtlepleasure。
  Butthedistancebetweenthemwasstillverygreat——toogreat。
  Itfrightenedtheman。Italmostpleasedthewoman。Sheliked,tofeelshewasservinghimacrossaninsuperabledistance。
  Shewasproudnow。
  MorelwenttoseeDawesonceortwice。Therewasasortof,friendshipbetweenthetwomen,whowereallthewhiledeadlyrivals。
  Buttheynevermentionedthewomanwhowasbetweenthem。
  Mrs。Morelgotgraduallyworse。Atfirsttheyusedtocarry,herdownstairs,sometimesevenintothegarden。Shesatpropped,inherchair,smiling,andsopretty。Thegoldwedding-ringshone,onherwhitehand;herhairwascarefullybrushed。Andshewatched,thetangledsunflowersdying,thechrysanthemumscomingout,andthedahlias。
  Paulandshewereafraidofeachother。Heknew,andsheknew,thatshewasdying。Buttheykeptupapretenceofcheerfulness。
  Everymorning,whenhegotup,hewentintoherroominhispyjamas。
  “Didyousleep,mydear?”heasked。
  “Yes,“sheanswered。
  “Notverywell?”
  “Well,yes!“
  Thenheknewshehadlainawake。Hesawherhandunder,thebedclothes,pressingtheplaceonhersidewherethepainwas。
  “Hasitbeenbad?”heasked。
  “No。Ithurtabit,butnothingtomention。”
  Andshesniffedinheroldscornfulway。Asshelayshe,lookedlikeagirl。Andallthewhileherblueeyeswatchedhim。
  Buttherewerethedarkpain-circlesbeneaththatmadehimacheagain。
  “It’sasunnyday,“hesaid。
  “It’sabeautifulday。”
  “Doyouthinkyou’llbecarrieddown?”
  “Ishallsee。”
  Thenhewentawaytogetherbreakfast。Alldaylonghe,wasconsciousofnothingbuther。Itwasalongachethatmade,himfeverish。Then,whenhegothomeintheearlyevening,heglanced,throughthekitchenwindow。Shewasnotthere;shehadnotgotup。
  Heranstraightupstairsandkissedher。Hewasalmostafraid,toask:
  “Didn’tyougetup,pigeon?”
  “No,“shesaid。”itwasthatmorphia;itmademetired。”
  “Ithinkhegivesyoutoomuch,“hesaid。
  “Ithinkhedoes,“sheanswered。
  Hesatdownbythebed,miserably。Shehadawayofcurling,andlyingonherside,likeachild。Thegreyandbrownhair,waslooseoverherear。
  “Doesn’tittickleyou?”hesaid,gentlyputtingitback。
  “Itdoes,“shereplied。
  Hisfacewasnearhers。Herblueeyessmiledstraightintohis,likeagirl’s——warm,laughingwithtenderlove。Itmadehimpant,withterror,agony,andlove。
  “Youwantyourhairdoinginaplait,“hesaid。”Liestill。”
  Andgoingbehindher,hecarefullyloosenedherhair,brusheditout。Itwaslikefinelongsilkofbrownandgrey。
  Herheadwassnuggledbetweenhershoulders。Ashelightly,brushedandplaitedherhair,hebithislipandfeltdazed。
  Itallseemedunreal,hecouldnotunderstandit。
  Atnightheoftenworkedinherroom,lookingupfromtime,totime。Andsooftenhefoundherblueeyesfixedonhim。
  Andwhentheireyesmet,shesmiled。Heworkedawayagainmechanically,producinggoodstuffwithoutknowingwhathewasdoing。
  Sometimeshecamein,verypaleandstill,withwatchful,suddeneyes,likeamanwhoisdrunkalmosttodeath。Theywere,bothafraidoftheveilsthatwererippingbetweenthem。
  Thenshepretendedtobebetter,chatteredtohimgaily,madeagreatfussoversomescrapsofnews。Fortheyhadbothcome,totheconditionwhentheyhadtomakemuchofthetrifles,lestthey,shouldgiveintothebigthing,andtheirhumanindependencewould,gosmash。Theywereafraid,sotheymadelightofthingsandweregay。
  Sometimesasshelayheknewshewasthinkingofthepast。
  Hermouthgraduallyshuthardinaline。Shewasholdingherselfrigid,sothatshemightdiewithouteverutteringthegreatcrythat,wastearingfromher。Heneverforgotthathard,utterlylonely,andstubbornclenchingofhermouth,whichpersistedforweeks。
  Sometimes,whenitwaslighter,shetalkedaboutherhusband。
  Nowshehatedhim。Shedidnotforgivehim。Shecouldnotbearhim,tobeintheroom。Andafewthings,thethingsthathadbeenmost,bittertoher,cameupagainsostronglythattheybrokefromher,andshetoldherson。
  Hefeltasifhislifewerebeingdestroyed,piecebypiece,withinhim。Oftenthetearscamesuddenly。Herantothestation,thetear-dropsfallingonthepavement。Oftenhecouldnotgo,onwithhiswork。Thepenstoppedwriting。Hesatstaring,quiteunconscious。Andwhenhecameroundagainhefeltsick,andtrembledinhislimbs。Heneverquestionedwhatitwas。
  Hisminddidnottrytoanalyseorunderstand。Hemerelysubmitted,andkepthiseyesshut;letthethinggooverhim。
  Hismotherdidthesame。Shethoughtofthepain,ofthe,morphia,ofthenextday;hardlyeverofthedeath。Thatwascoming,sheknew。Shehadtosubmittoit。Butshewouldneverentreatit,ormakefriendswithit。Blind,withherfaceshuthardandblind,shewaspushedtowardsthedoor。Thedayspassed,theweeks,themonths。
  Sometimes,inthesunnyafternoons,sheseemedalmosthappy。
  “Itrytothinkofthenicetimes——whenwewenttoMablethorpe,andRobinHood’sBay,andShanklin,“shesaid。”Afterall,noteverybodyhasseenthosebeautifulplaces。Andwasn’titbeautiful!
  Itrytothinkofthat,notoftheotherthings。”
  Then,again,forawholeeveningshespokenotaword;
  neitherdidhe。Theyweretogether,rigid,stubborn,silent。Hewent,intohisroomatlasttogotobed,andleanedagainstthedoorway,asifparalysed,unabletogoanyfarther。Hisconsciousnesswent。
  Afuriousstorm,heknewnotwhat,seemedtoravageinsidehim。
  Hestoodleaningthere,submitting,neverquestioning。
  Inthemorningtheywerebothnormalagain,thoughherface,wasgreywiththemorphia,andherbodyfeltlikeash。Buttheywere,brightagain,nevertheless。Often,especiallyifAnnieorArthur,wereathome,heneglectedher。HedidnotseemuchofClara。
  Usuallyhewaswithmen。Hewasquickandactiveandlively;
  butwhenhisfriendssawhimgowhitetothegills,hiseyesdark,andglittering,theyhadacertainmistrustofhim。Sometimeshe,wenttoClara,butshewasalmostcoldtohim。
  “Takeme!”hesaidsimply。
  Occasionallyshewould。Butshewasafraid。Whenhehad,herthen,therewassomethinginitthatmadehershrinkawayfrom,him——somethingunnatural。Shegrewtodreadhim。Hewassoquiet,yetsostrange。Shewasafraidofthemanwhowasnottherewithher,whomshecouldfeelbehindthismake-belieflover;somebodysinister,thatfilledherwithhorror。Shebegantohaveakindofhorror,ofhim。Itwasalmostasifhewereacriminal。Hewantedher——he,hadher——anditmadeherfeelasifdeathitselfhadherinitsgrip。
  Shelayinhorror。Therewasnomantherelovingher。Shealmost,hatedhim。Thencamelittleboutsoftenderness。Butshedarednot,pityhim。
  DaweshadcometoColonelSeely’sHomenearNottingham。
  TherePaulvisitedhimsometimes,Claraveryoccasionally。
  Betweenthetwomenthefriendshipdevelopedpeculiarly。
  Dawes,whomendedveryslowlyandseemedveryfeeble,seemedtoleavehimselfinthehandsofMorel。
  InthebeginningofNovemberClararemindedPaulthatit,washerbirthday。
  “I’dnearlyforgotten,“hesaid。
  “I’dthoughtquite,“shereplied。
  “No。Shallwegototheseasidefortheweek-end?”