Sheputherhandforwardanddraggeditaway,triedagain,andstartedbackwithacry。Hefrowned。
  “Why,I’dlethertakecornfrommyface,“saidPaul,“onlyshebumpsabit。She’seversoneat。Ifshewasn’t,look,howmuchgroundshe’dpeckupeveryday。”
  Hewaitedgrimly,andwatched。AtlastMiriamletthebird,peckfromherhand。Shegavealittlecry——fear,andpainbecause,offear——ratherpathetic。Butshehaddoneit,andshediditagain。
  “There,yousee,“saidtheboy。”Itdoesn’thurt,doesit?”
  Shelookedathimwithdilateddarkeyes。
  “No,“shelaughed,trembling。
  Thensheroseandwentindoors。Sheseemedtobeinsomeway,resentfuloftheboy。
  “HethinksI’monlyacommongirl,“shethought,andshewanted,toproveshewasagrandpersonlikethe“LadyoftheLake“。
  Paulfoundhismotherreadytogohome。Shesmiledonherson。
  Hetookthegreatbunchofflowers。Mr。andMrs。Leiverswalked,downthefieldswiththem。Thehillsweregoldenwithevening;
  deepinthewoodsshowedthedarkeningpurpleofbluebells。
  Itwaseverywhereperfectlystiff,savefortherustlingofleaves,andbirds。
  “Butitisabeautifulplace,“saidMrs。Morel。
  “Yes,“answeredMr。Leivers;“it’sanicelittleplace,ifonly,itweren’tfortherabbits。Thepasture’sbittendowntonothing。
  IdunnoifeverIs’llgettherentoffit。”
  Heclappedhishands,andthefieldbrokeintomotionnear,thewoods,brownrabbitshoppingeverywhere。
  “Wouldyoubelieveit!”exclaimedMrs。Morel。
  SheandPaulwentonalonetogether。
  “Wasn’titlovely,mother?”hesaidquietly。
  Athinmoonwascomingout。Hisheartwasfullofhappiness,tillithurt。Hismotherhadtochatter,becauseshe,too,wantedtocrywithhappiness。
  “NowWOULDN’TIhelpthatman!”shesaid。”WOULDN’TIsee,tothefowlsandtheyoungstock!,AndI’Dlearntomilk,andI’D
  talkwithhim,andI’Dplanwithhim。Myword,ifIwerehiswife,thefarmwouldberun,Iknow!,Butthere,shehasn’tthestrength——she,simplyhasn’tthestrength。Sheoughtnevertohavebeenburdened,likeit,youknow。I’msorryforher,andI’msorryforhimtoo。
  Myword,ifI’Dhadhim,Ishouldn’thavethoughthimabadhusband!
  Notthatshedoeseither;andshe’sverylovable。”
  WilliamcamehomeagainwithhissweetheartattheWhitsuntide。
  Hehadoneweekofhisholidaysthen。Itwasbeautifulweather。
  Asarule,WilliamandLilyandPaulwentoutinthemorningtogether,forawalk。Williamdidnottalktohisbelovedmuch,excepttotell,herthingsfromhisboyhood。Paultalkedendlesslytobothofthem。
  Theylaydown,allthree,inameadowbyMintonChurch。Ononeside,bytheCastleFarm,wasabeautifulquiveringscreenofpoplars。
  Hawthornwasdroppingfromthehedges;pennydaisiesandragged,robinwereinthefield,likelaughter。William,abigfellow,oftwenty-three,thinnernowandevenabitgaunt,layback,inthesunshineanddreamed,whileshefingeredwithhishair。
  Paulwentgatheringthebigdaisies。Shehadtakenoffherhat;
  herhairwasblackasahorse’smane。Paulcamebackandthreaded,daisiesinherjet-blackhair——bigspanglesofwhiteandyellow,andjust,apinktouchofraggedrobin。
  “Nowyoulooklikeayoungwitch-woman,“theboysaidtoher。
  “Doesn’tshe,William?”
  Lilylaughed。Williamopenedhiseyesandlookedather。
  Inhisgazewasacertainbaffledlookofmiseryandfierceappreciation。
  “Hashemadeasightofme?”sheasked,laughingdownon,herlover。
  “Thathehas!”saidWilliam,smiling。
  Helookedather。Herbeautyseemedtohurthim。Heglanced,atherflower-deckedheadandfrowned。
  “Youlookniceenough,ifthat’swhatyouwanttoknow,“
  hesaid。
  Andshewalkedwithoutherhat。InalittlewhileWilliam,recovered,andwasrathertendertoher。Comingtoabridge,hecarvedherinitialsandhisinaheart。
  L。L。W。
  W。M。
  Shewatchedhisstrong,nervoushand,withitsglistening,hairsandfreckles,ashecarved,andsheseemedfascinatedbyit。
  Allthetimetherewasafeelingofsadnessandwarmth,andacertaintendernessinthehouse,whilstWilliamandLily,wereathome。Butoftenhegotirritable。Shehadbrought,foraneight-days’stay,fivedressesandsixblouses。
  “Oh,wouldyoumind,“shesaidtoAnnie,“washingmethese,twoblouses,andthesethings?”
  AndAnniestoodwashingwhenWilliamandLilywentoutthe,nextmorning。Mrs。Morelwasfurious。Andsometimestheyoungman,catchingaglimpseofhissweetheart’sattitudetowardshissister,hatedher。
  OnSundaymorningshelookedverybeautifulinadress,offoulard,silkyandsweeping,andblueasajay-bird’sfeather,andinalargecreamhatcoveredwithmanyroses,mostlycrimson。
  Nobodycouldadmireherenough。Butintheevening,whenshewas,goingout,sheaskedagain:
  “Chubby,haveyougotmygloves?”
  “Which?”askedWilliam。
  “MynewblackSUEDE。”
  “No。”
  Therewasahunt。Shehadlostthem。
  “Lookhere,mother,“saidWilliam,“that’sthefourthpair,she’slostsinceChristmas——atfiveshillingsapair!”
  “YouonlygavemeTWOofthem,“sheremonstrated。
  Andintheevening,aftersupper,hestoodonthehearthrug,whilstshesatonthesofa,andheseemedtohateher。Inthe,afternoonhehadleftherwhilsthewenttoseesomeoldfriend。
  Shehadsatlookingatabook。AftersupperWilliamwantedtowrite,aletter。
  “Hereisyourbook,Lily,“saidMrs。Morel。”Wouldyoucare,togoonwithitforafewminutes?”
  “No,thankyou,“saidthegirl。”Iwillsitstill。”
  “Butitissodull。”
  Williamscribbledirritablyatagreatrate。Ashesealed,theenvelopehesaid:
  “Readabook!,Why,she’sneverreadabookinherlife。”
  “Oh,goalong!”saidMrs。Morel,crosswiththeexaggeration,“It’strue,mother——shehasn’t,“hecried,jumpingupandtaking,hisoldpositiononthehearthrug。”She’sneverreadabookinherlife。”
  “’Er’slikeme,“chimedinMorel。”’Ercannaseewhatthere,isi’books,tersitborin’yournosein’emfor,normorecanI。”
  “Butyoushouldn’tsaythesethings,“saidMrs。Moreltoherson。
  “Butit’strue,mother——sheCAN’Tread。Whatdidyougiveher?”
  “Well,IgaveheralittlethingofAnnieSwan’s。Nobodywants,toreaddrystuffonSundayafternoon。”
  “Well,I’llbetshedidn’treadtenlinesofit。”
  “Youaremistaken,“saidhismother。
  AllthetimeLilysatmiserablyonthesofa。Heturned,toherswiftly。
  “DIDyoureadyany?”heasked。
  “Yes,Idid,“shereplied。
  “Howmuch?”
  “ldon’tknowhowmanypages。”
  “TellmeONETHINGyouread。”
  Shecouldnot。
  Shenevergotbeyondthesecondpage。Hereadagreatdeal,andhadaquick,activeintelligence。Shecouldunderstandnothingbut,love-makingandchatter。Hewasaccustomedtohavingallhisthoughts,siftedthroughhismother’smind;so,whenhewantedcompanionship,andwasaskedinreplytobethebillingandtwitteringlover,hehatedhisbetrothed。
  “Youknow,mother,“hesaid,whenhewasalonewithheratnight,“she’snoideaofmoney,she’ssowessel-brained。Whenshe’spaid,she’llsuddenlybuysuchrotasmarronsglaces,andthenIhave,tobuyherseasonticket,andherextras,evenherunderclothing。
  Andshewantstogetmarried,andIthinkmyselfwemightaswellget,marriednextyear。Butatthisrate——“
  “Afinemessofamarriageitwouldbe,“repliedhismother。
  “Ishouldconsideritagain,myboy。”
  “Oh,well,I’vegonetoofartobreakoffnow,“hesaid,“andsoIshallgetmarriedassoonasIcan。”
  “Verywell,myboy。Ifyouwill,youwill,andthere’sno,stoppingyou;butItellyou,Ican’tsleepwhenIthinkaboutit。”
  “Oh,she’llbeallright,mother。Weshallmanage。”
  “Andsheletsyoubuyherunderclothing?”askedthemother。
  “Well,“hebeganapologetically,“shedidn’taskme;butone,morning——anditWAScold——Ifoundheronthestationshivering,notable,tokeepstill;soIaskedherifshewaswellwrappedup。Shesaid:
  ’Ithinkso。’,SoIsaid:,’Haveyougotwarmunderthingson?’
  Andshesaid:,’No,theywerecotton。’,Iaskedherwhyonearthshe,hadn’tgotsomethingthickeroninweatherlikethat,andshesaid,becausesheHADnothing。Andtheresheis——abronchialsubject!
  IHADtotakeherandgetsomewarmthings。Well,mother,Ishouldn’t,mindthemoneyifwehadany。And,youknow,sheOUGHTtokeepenough,topayforherseason-ticket;butno,shecomestomeaboutthat,andIhavetofindthemoney。”
  “It’sapoorlookout,“saidMrs。Morelbitterly。
  Hewaspale,andhisruggedface,thatusedtobesoperfectly,carelessandlaughing,wasstampedwithconflictanddespair。
  “ButIcan’tgiveherupnow;it’sgonetoofar,“hesaid。
  “And,besides,forSOMEthingsIcouldn’tdowithouther。”
  “Myboy,rememberyou’retakingyourlifeinyourhands,“
  saidMrs。Morel。”NOTHINGisasbadasamarriagethat’s,ahopelessfailure。Minewasbadenough,Godknows,andought,toteachyousomething;butitmighthavebeenworsebyalongchalk。”
  Heleanedwithhisbackagainstthesideofthechimney-piece,hishandsinhispockets。Hewasabig,raw-bonedman,wholooked,asifhewouldgototheworld’sendifhewantedto。Butshesaw,thedespaironhisface。
  “Icouldn’tgiveherupnow,“hesaid。
  “Well,“shesaid,“rememberthereareworsewrongsthanbreaking,offanengagement。”
  “Ican’tgiveherupNOW,“hesaid。
  Theclocktickedon;motherandsonremainedinsilence,aconflictbetweenthem;buthewouldsaynomore。Atlastshesaid:
  “Well,gotobed,myson。You’llfeelbetterinthemorning,andperhapsyou’llknowbetter。”
  Hekissedher,andwent。Sherakedthefire。Herheart,washeavynowasithadneverbeen。Before,withherhusband,thingshadseemedtobebreakingdowninher,buttheydidnot,destroyherpowertolive。Nowhersoulfeltlamedinitself。
  Itwasherhopethatwasstruck。
  AndsooftenWilliammanifestedthesamehatredtowards,hisbetrothed。Onthelasteveningathomehewasrailingagainsther。
  “Well,“hesaid,“ifyoudon’tbelieveme,whatshe’slike,wouldyoubelieveshehasbeenconfirmedthreetimes?”
  “Nonsense!”laughedMrs。Morel。
  “Nonsenseornot,sheHAS!,That’swhatconfirmationmeans,forher——abitofatheatricalshowwhereshecancutafigure。”
  “Ihaven’t,Mrs。Morel!”criedthegirl——“Ihaven’t!it,isnottrue!”
  “What!”hecried,flashingroundonher。”OnceinBromley,onceinBeckenham,andoncesomewhereelse。”
  “Nowhereelse!”shesaid,intears——“nowhereelse!”
  “ItWAS!,Andifitwasn’twhywereyouconfirmedTWICE?”
  “OnceIwasonlyfourteen,Mrs。Morel,“shepleaded,tearsinhereyes。
  “Yes,“saidMrs。Morel;“Icanquiteunderstandit,child。Takeno,noticeofhim。Yououghttobeashamed,William,sayingsuchthings。”
  “Butit’strue。She’sreligious——shehadbluevelvet,Prayer-Books——andshe’snotasmuchreligion,oranythingelse,inherthanthattable-leg。Getsconfirmedthreetimesforshow,toshowherselfoff,andthat’showsheisinEVERYTHING——
  EVERYTHING!”
  Thegirlsatonthesofa,crying。Shewasnotstrong。
  “AsforLOVE!”hecried,“youmightaswellaskaflytoloveyou!
  It’lllovesettlingonyou——“
  “Now,saynomore,“commandedMrs。Morel。”Ifyouwant,tosaythesethings,youmustfindanotherplacethanthis。
  Iamashamedofyou,William!,Whydon’tyoubemoremanly。
  Todonothingbutfindfaultwithagirl,andthenpretendyou’re,engagedtoher!“
  Mrs。Morelsubsidedinwrathandindignation。
  Williamwassilent,andlaterherepented,kissedandcomforted,thegirl。Yetitwastrue,whathehadsaid。Hehatedher。
  Whentheyweregoingaway,Mrs。Morelaccompaniedthemasfar,asNottingham。ItwasalongwaytoKestonstation。
  “Youknow,mother,“hesaidtoher,“Gyp’sshallow。
  Nothinggoesdeepwithher。”
  “William,IWISHyouwouldn’tsaythesethings,“saidMrs。Morel,veryuncomfortableforthegirlwhowalkedbesideher。
  “Butitdoesn’t,mother。She’sverymuchinlovewithmenow,butifIdiedshe’dhaveforgottenmeinthreemonths。”
  Mrs。Morelwasafraid。Herheartbeatfuriously,hearingthe,quietbitternessofherson’slastspeech。
  “Howdoyouknow?”shereplied。”YouDON’Tknow,andtherefore,you’venorighttosaysuchathing。”
  “He’salwayssayingthesethings!”criedthegirl。
  “InthreemonthsafterIwasburiedyou’dhavesomebodyelse,andIshouldbeforgotten,“hesaid。”Andthat’syourlove!”
  Mrs。MorelsawthemintothetraininNottingham,thenshe,returnedhome。
  “There’sonecomfort,“shesaidtoPaul——“he’llneverhaveany,moneytomarryon,thatIAMsureof。Andsoshe’llsavehimthatway。”
  Soshetookcheer。Matterswerenotyetverydesperate。
  ShefirmlybelievedWilliamwouldnevermarryhisGipsy。Shewaited,andshekeptPaulneartoher。
  AllsummerlongWilliam’slettershadafeverishtone;heseemed,unnaturalandintense。Sometimeshewasexaggeratedlyjolly,usuallyhewasflatandbitterinhisletter。
  “Ah,“hismothersaid,“I’mafraidhe’sruininghimself,againstthatcreature,whoisn’tworthyofhislove——no,nomore,thanaragdoll。”
  Hewantedtocomehome。Themidsummerholidaywasgone;
  itwasalongwhiletoChristmas。Hewroteinwildexcitement,sayinghecouldcomeforSaturdayandSundayatGooseFair,thefirst,weekinOctober。
  “Youarenotwell,myboy,“saidhismother,whenshesawhim。
  Shewasalmostintearsathavinghimtoherselfagain。
  “No,I’venotbeenwell,“hesaid。”I’veseemedtohave,adraggingcoldallthelastmonth,butit’sgoing,Ithink。”
  ItwassunnyOctoberweather。Heseemedwildwithjoy,likeaschoolboyescaped;thenagainhewassilentandreserved。
  Hewasmoregauntthanever,andtherewasahaggardlookinhiseyes。
  “Youaredoingtoomuch,“saidhismothertohim。
  Hewasdoingextrawork,tryingtomakesomemoneytomarryon,hesaid。HeonlytalkedtohismotheronceontheSaturdaynight;
  thenhewassadandtenderabouthisbeloved。
  “Andyet,youknow,mother,forallthat,ifIdiedshe’dbe,broken-heartedfortwomonths,andthenshe’dstarttoforgetme。
  You’dsee,she’dnevercomehomeheretolookatmygrave,notevenonce。”
  “Why,William,“saidhismother,“you’renotgoingtodie,sowhytalkaboutit?”
  “Butwhetherornot——“hereplied。
  “Andshecan’thelpit。Sheislikethat,andifyouchoose,her——well,youcan’tgrumble,“saidhismother。
  OntheSundaymorning,ashewasputtinghiscollaron:
  “Look,“hesaidtohismother,holdinguphischin,“whata,rashmycollar’smadeundermychin!”
  Justatthejunctionofchinandthroatwasabigredinflammation。
  “Itoughtnottodothat,“saidhismother。”Here,putabit,ofthissoothingointmenton。Youshouldweardifferentcollars。”
  HewentawayonSundaymidnight,seemingbetterandmoresolid,forhistwodaysathome。
  OnTuesdaymorningcameatelegramfromLondonthathewasill。
  Mrs。Morelgotoffherkneesfromwashingthefloor,readthetelegram,calledaneighbour,wenttoherlandladyandborrowedasovereign,putonherthings,andsetoff。ShehurriedtoKeston,caughtan,expressforLondoninNottingham。ShehadtowaitinNottingham,nearlyanhour。Asmallfigureinherblackbonnet,shewas,anxiouslyaskingtheportersiftheyknewhowtogettoElmersEnd。
  Thejourneywasthreehours。Shesatinhercornerinakindofstupor,nevermoving。AtKing’sCrossstillnoonecouldtellherhow,togettoElmersEnd。Carryingherstringbag,thatcontained,hernightdress,acombandbrush,shewentfrompersontoperson。
  AtlasttheysentherundergroundtoCannonStreet。
  Itwassixo’clockwhenshearrivedatWilliam’slodging。
  Theblindswerenotdown。
  “Howishe?”sheasked。
  “Nobetter,“saidthelandlady。
  Shefollowedthewomanupstairs。Williamlayonthebed,withbloodshoteyes,hisfaceratherdiscoloured。Theclotheswere,tossedabout,therewasnofireintheroom,aglassofmilkstood,onthestandathisbedside。Noonehadbeenwithhim。
  “Why,myson!”saidthemotherbravely。
  Hedidnotanswer。Helookedather,butdidnotseeher。
  Thenhebegantosay,inadullvoice,asifrepeatingaletter,fromdictation:,“Owingtoaleakageintheholdofthisvessel,thesugarhadset,andbecomeconvertedintorock。Itneededhacking——“
  Hewasquiteunconscious。Ithadbeenhisbusinesstoexamine,somesuchcargoofsugarinthePortofLondon。
  “Howlonghashebeenlikethis?”themotheraskedthelandlady。
  “Hegothomeatsixo’clockonMondaymorning,andheseemed,tosleepallday;theninthenightweheardhimtalking,andthis,morningheaskedforyou。SoIwired,andwefetchedthedoctor。”
  “Willyouhaveafiremade?”
  Mrs。Moreltriedtosootheherson,tokeephimstill。
  Thedoctorcame。Itwaspneumonia,and,hesaid,apeculiar,erysipelas,whichhadstartedunderthechinwherethecollarchafed,andwasspreadingovertheface。Hehopeditwouldnotgettothebrain。
  Mrs。Morelsettleddowntonurse。SheprayedforWilliam,prayedthathewouldrecogniseher。Buttheyoungman’sfacegrew,morediscoloured。Inthenightshestruggledwithhim。Heraved,andraved,andwouldnotcometoconsciousness。Attwoo’clock,inadreadfulparoxysm,hedied。
  Mrs。Morelsatperfectlystillforanhourinthelodgingbedroom;
  thensherousedthehousehold。
  Atsixo’clock,withtheaidofthecharwoman,shelaidhimout;
  thenshewentroundthedrearyLondonvillagetotheregistrar,andthedoctor。
  Atnineo’clocktothecottageonScargillStreetcame,anotherwire:
  “Williamdiedlastnight。Letfathercome,bringmoney。”
  Annie,Paul,andArthurwereathome;Mr。Morelwasgone,towork。Thethreechildrensaidnotaword。Anniebegantowhimper,withfear;Paulsetoffforhisfather。
  Itwasabeautifulday。AtBrinsleypitthewhitesteammelted,slowlyinthesunshineofasoftbluesky;thewheelsoftheheadstocks,twinkledhighup;thescreen,shufflingitscoalintothetrucks,madeabusynoise。
  “Iwantmyfather;he’sgottogotoLondon,“saidtheboy,tothefirstmanhemetonthebank。
  “ThawantsWalterMorel?,Gointheeran’tellJoeWard。”
  Paulwentintothelittletopoffice。
  “Iwantmyfather;he’sgottogotoLondon。”
  “Thyfeyther?,Ishedown?,What’shisname?”
  “Mr。Morel。”
  “What,Walter?,Isowtamiss?”
  “He’sgottogotoLondon。”
  Themanwenttothetelephoneandrangupthebottomoffice。
  “WalterMorel’swanted,number42,Hard。Summat’samiss;
  there’shisladhere。”
  ThenheturnedroundtoPaul。
  “He’llbeupinafewminutes,“hesaid。
  Paulwanderedouttothepit-top。Hewatchedthechaircomeup,withitswagonofcoal。Thegreatironcagesankbackonitsrest,afullcarflewashauledoff,anemptytramrunontothechair,abellting’edsomewhere,thechairheaved,thendroppedlike,astone。
  PauldidnotrealiseWilliamwasdead;itwasimpossible,withsuchabustlegoingon。Thepuller-offswungthesmalltruck,ontotheturn-table,anothermanranwithitalongthebankdown,thecurvinglines。
  “AndWilliamisdead,andmymother’sinLondon,andwhatwill,shebedoing?”theboyaskedhimself,asifitwereaconundrum。
  Hewatchedchairafterchaircomeup,andstillnofather。
  Atlast,standingbesideawagon,aman’sform!thechairsankon,itsrests,Morelsteppedoff。Hewasslightlylamefromanaccident。
  “Isitthee,Paul?,Is’eworse?”
  “You’vegottogotoLondon。”
  Thetwowalkedoffthepit-bank,wheremenwerewatchingcuriously。
  Astheycameoutandwentalongtherailway,withthe,sunnyautumnfieldononesideandawalloftrucks,ontheother,Morelsaidinafrightenedvoice:
  “’E’snivergone,child?”
  “Yes。”
  “Whenwor’t?”
  “Lastnight。Wehadatelegramfrommymother。”
  Morelwalkedonafewstrides,thenleanedupagainst,atruck-side,hishandoverhiseyes。Hewasnotcrying。
  Paulstoodlookinground,waiting。Ontheweighing,machineatrucktrundledslowly。Paulsaweverything,excepthisfatherleaningagainstthetruckasifheweretired。
  MorelhadonlyoncebeforebeentoLondon。Hesetoff,scaredandpeaked,tohelphiswife。ThatwasonTuesday。
  Thechildrenwereleftaloneinthehouse。Paulwenttowork,Arthurwenttoschool,andAnniehadinafriendtobewithher。
  OnSaturdaynight,asPaulwasturningthecorner,cominghome,fromKeston,hesawhismotherandfather,whohadcometoSethley,BridgeStation。Theywerewalkinginsilenceinthedark,tired,stragglingapart。Theboywaited。
  “Mother!”hesaid,inthedarkness。
  Mrs。Morel’ssmallfigureseemednottoobserve。Hespokeagain。
  “Paul!”shesaid,uninterestedly。
  Shelethimkissher,butsheseemedunawareofhim。
  Inthehouseshewasthesame——small,white,andmute。
  Shenoticednothing,shesaidnothing,only:
  “Thecoffinwillbehereto-night,Walter。You’dbettersee,aboutsomehelp。”,Then,turningtothechildren:,“We’rebringing,himhome。”
  Thensherelapsedintothesamemutelookingintospace,herhandsfoldedonherlap。Paul,lookingather,felthecould,notbreathe。Thehousewasdeadsilent。
  “Iwenttowork,mother,“hesaidplaintively。
  “Didyou?”sheanswered,dully。
  AfterhalfanhourMorel,troubledandbewildered,cameinagain。
  “Wheers’llweha’ehimwhenheDOEScome?”heaskedhiswife。
  “Inthefront-room。”
  “ThenI’dbettershiftth’table?”
  “Yes。”
  “An’ha’ehimacrossth’chairs?”
  “Youknowthere——Yes,Isupposeso。”
  MorelandPaulwent,withacandle,intotheparlour。
  Therewasnogasthere。Thefatherunscrewedthetopofthebig,mahoganyovaltable,andclearedthemiddleoftheroom;thenhe,arrangedsixchairsoppositeeachother,sothatthecoffincould,standontheirbeds。
  “Youniverseedsuchalengthasheis!”saidtheminer,andwatchinganxiouslyasheworked。
  Paulwenttothebaywindowandlookedout。Theash-tree,stoodmonstrousandblackinfrontofthewidedarkness。
  Itwasafaintlyluminousnight。Paulwentbacktohismother。
  Atteno’clockMorelcalled:
  “He’shere!”
  Everyonestarted。Therewasanoiseofunbarringandunlocking,thefrontdoor,whichopenedstraightfromthenightintotheroom。
  “Bringanothercandle,“calledMorel。
  AnnieandArthurwent。Paulfollowedwithhismother。
  Hestoodwithhisarmroundherwaistintheinnerdoorway。
  Downthemiddleoftheclearedroomwaitedsixchairs,facetoface。
  Inthewindow,againstthelacecurtains,Arthurhelduponecandle,andbytheopendoor,againstthenight,Anniestoodleaningforward,herbrasscandlestickglittering。
  Therewasthenoiseofwheels。Outsideinthedarknessofthe,streetbelowPaulcouldseehorsesandablackvehicle,onelamp,andafewpalefaces;thensomemen,miners,allintheirshirt-sleeves,seemedtostruggleintheobscurity。Presentlytwomenappeared,bowedbeneathagreatweight。ItwasMorelandhisneighbour。
  “Steady!”calledMorel,outofbreath。
  Heandhisfellowmountedthesteepgardenstep,heavedinto,thecandlelightwiththeirgleamingcoffin-end。Limbsofothermen,wereseenstrugglingbehind。MorelandBurns,infront,staggered;
  thegreatdarkweightswayed。
  “Steady,steady!”criedMorel,asifinpain。
  Allthesixbearerswereupinthesmallgarden,holdingthe,greatcoffinaloft。Therewerethreemorestepstothedoor。
  Theyellowlampofthecarriageshonealone,downtheblackroad。
  “Nowthen!”saidMorel。
  Thecoffinswayed,themenbegantomountthethreesteps,withtheirload。Annie’scandleflickered,andshewhimpered,asthefirstmenappeared,andthelimbsandbowedheadsofsix,menstruggledtoclimbintotheroom,bearingthecoffinthatrode,likesorrowontheirlivingflesh。
  “Oh,myson——myson!”Mrs。Morelsangsoftly,andeachtime,thecoffinswungtotheunequalclimbingofthemen:,“Oh,myson——my,son——myson!”
  “Mother!”Paulwhimpered,hishandroundherwaist。
  Shedidnothear。
  “Oh,myson——myson!”sherepeated。
  Paulsawdropsofsweatfallfromhisfather’sbrow。
  Sixmenwereintheroom——sixcoatlessmen,withyielding,strugglinglimbs,fillingtheroomandknockingagainstthefurniture。
  Thecoffinveered,andwasgentlyloweredontothechairs。
  ThesweatfellfromMorel’sfaceonitsboards。
  “Myword,he’saweight!”saidaman,andthefiveminerssighed,bowed,and,tremblingwiththestruggle,descendedthestepsagain,closingthedoorbehindthem。
  Thefamilywasaloneintheparlourwiththegreatpolishedbox。
  William,whenlaidout,wassixfeetfourincheslong。Likeamonument,laythebrightbrown,ponderouscoffin。Paulthoughtitwouldnever,begotoutoftheroomagain。Hismotherwasstrokingthepolishedwood。
  TheyburiedhimontheMondayinthelittlecemeteryonthe,hillsidethatlooksoverthefieldsatthebigchurchandthehouses。
  Itwassunny,andthewhitechrysanthemumsfrilledthemselves,inthewarmth。
  Mrs。Morelcouldnotbepersuaded,afterthis,totalkand,takeheroldbrightinterestinlife。Sheremainedshutoff。
  Allthewayhomeinthetrainshehadsaidtoherself:“Ifonlyit,couldhavebeenme!“
  WhenPaulcamehomeatnighthefoundhismothersitting,herday’sworkdone,withhandsfoldedinherlapuponher,coarseapron。Shealwaysusedtohavechangedherdressandput,onablackapron,before。NowAnniesethissupper,andhismother,satlookingblanklyinfrontofher,hermouthshuttight。
  Thenhebeathisbrainsfornewstotellher。
  “Mother,MissJordanwasdownto-day,andshesaidmysketch,ofacollieryatworkwasbeautiful。”
  ButMrs。Moreltooknonotice。Nightafternightheforced,himselftotellherthings,althoughshedidnotlisten。Itdrove,himalmostinsanetohaveherthus。Atlast:
  “What’sa-matter,mother?”heasked。
  Shedidnothear。
  “What’sa-matter?”hepersisted。”Mother,what’sa-matter?”
  “Youknowwhat’sthematter,“shesaidirritably,turningaway。
  Thelad——hewassixteenyearsold——wenttobeddrearily。
  HewascutoffandwretchedthroughOctober,NovemberandDecember。
  Hismothertried,butshecouldnotrouseherself。Shecouldonly,broodonherdeadson;hehadbeenlettodiesocruelly。
  Atlast,onDecember23,withhisfiveshillingsChristmas-box,inhispocket,Paulwanderedblindlyhome。Hismotherlookedathim,andherheartstoodstill。
  “What’sthematter?”sheasked。
  “I’mbadly,mother!”hereplied。”Mr。Jordangavemefive,shillingsforaChristmas-box!”
  Hehandedittoherwithtremblinghands。Sheputitonthetable。
  “Youaren’tglad!”hereproachedher;buthetrembledviolently。
  “Wherehurtsyou?”shesaid,unbuttoninghisovercoat。
  Itwastheoldquestion。
  “Ifeelbadly,mother。”
  Sheundressedhimandputhimtobed。Hehadpneumoniadangerously,thedoctorsaid。
  “MightheneverhavehaditifI’dkepthimathome,notlet,himgotoNottingham?”wasoneofthefirstthingssheasked。
  “Hemightnothavebeensobad,“saidthedoctor。
  Mrs。Morelstoodcondemnedonherownground。
  “Ishouldhavewatchedtheliving,notthedead,“shetoldherself。
  Paulwasveryill。Hismotherlayinbedatnightswithhim;
  theycouldnotaffordanurse。Hegrewworse,andthecrisisapproached。
  Onenighthetossedintoconsciousnessintheghastly,sicklyfeeling,ofdissolution,whenallthecellsinthebodyseeminintense,irritabilitytobebreakingdown,andconsciousnessmakesalast,flareofstruggle,likemadness。
  “Is’lldie,mother!”becried,heavingforbreathonthepillow。
  Sheliftedhimup,cryinginasmallvoice:
  “Oh,myson——myson!”
  Thatbroughthimto。Herealisedher。Hiswholewillrose,upandarrestedhim。Heputhisheadonherbreast,andtookease,ofherforlove。
  “Forsomethings,“saidhisaunt,“itwasagoodthingPaul,wasillthatChristmas。Ibelieveitsavedhismother。”
  Paulwasinbedforsevenweeks。Hegotupwhiteandfragile。
  Hisfatherhadboughthimapotofscarletandgoldtulips。
  TheyusedtoflameinthewindowintheMarchsunshineashesat,onthesofachatteringtohismother。Thetwoknittedtogetherin,perfectintimacy。Mrs。Morel’slifenowrooteditselfinPaul。
  Williamhadbeenaprophet。Mrs。Morelhadalittlepresent,andaletterfromLilyatChristmas。Mrs。Morel’ssisterhad,aletterattheNewYear。
  “Iwasataballlastnight。Somedelightfulpeoplewerethere,andIenjoyedmyselfthoroughly,“saidtheletter。”Ihadevery,dance——didnotsitoutone。”
  Mrs。Morelneverheardanymoreofher。
  Morelandhiswifeweregentlewitheachotherforsometime,afterthedeathoftheirson。Hewouldgointoakindofdaze,staringwide-eyedandblankacrosstheroom。Thenhegotupsuddenly,andhurriedouttotheThreeSpots,returninginhisnormalstate。
  ButneverinhislifewouldhegoforawalkupShepstone,pasttheofficewherehissonhadworked,andhealwaysavoided,thecemetery。
  PARTTWO
  CHAPTERVII
  LAD-AND-GIRLLOVE
  PAULhadbeenmanytimesuptoWilleyFarmduringtheautumn。
  Hewasfriendswiththetwoyoungestboys。Edgartheeldest,wouldnot,condescendatfirst。AndMiriamalsorefusedtobeapproached。
  Shewasafraidofbeingsetatnought,asbyherownbrothers。
  Thegirlwasromanticinhersoul。EverywherewasaWalterScott,heroinebeinglovedbymenwithhelmetsorwithplumesintheircaps。
  Sheherselfwassomethingofaprincessturnedintoaswine-girl,inherownimagination。Andshewasafraidlestthisboy,who,nevertheless,lookedsomethinglikeaWalterScotthero,whocouldpaintandspeakFrench,andknewwhatalgebrameant,andwhowentbytraintoNottinghameveryday,mightconsiderher,simplyastheswine-girl,unabletoperceivetheprincessbeneath;
  sosheheldaloof。
  Hergreatcompanionwashermother。Theywerebothbrown-eyed,andinclinedtobemystical,suchwomenastreasurereligion,insidethem,breatheitintheirnostrils,andseethewholeoflife,inamistthereof。SotoMiriam,ChristandGodmadeonegreatfigure,whichshelovedtremblinglyandpassionatelywhenatremendoussunset,burnedoutthewesternsky,andEdiths,andLucys,andRowenas,Briande,BoisGuilberts,RobRoys,andGuyMannerings,rustledthesunnyleaves,inthemorning,orsatinherbedroomaloft,alone,whenitsnowed。
  Thatwaslifetoher。Fortherest,shedrudgedinthehouse,whichworkshewouldnothavemindedhadnothercleanredfloorbeen,muckedupimmediatelybythetramplingfarm-bootsofherbrothers。
  Shemadlywantedherlittlebrotheroffourtoletherswathe,himandstiflehiminherlove;shewenttochurchreverently,withbowedhead,andquiveredinanguishfromthevulgarityofthe,otherchoir-girlsandfromthecommon-soundingvoiceofthecurate;
  shefoughtwithherbrothers,whomsheconsideredbrutallouts;
  andsheheldnotherfatherintoohighesteembecausehedidnot,carryanymysticalidealscherishedinhisheart,butonlywanted,tohaveaseasyatimeashecould,andhismealswhenhewasready,forthem。
  Shehatedherpositionasswine-girl。Shewantedtobeconsidered。
  Shewantedtolearn,thinkingthatifshecouldread,asPaulsaid,hecouldread,“Colomba“orthe“VoyageautourdemaChambre“the,worldwouldhaveadifferentfaceforherandadeepenedrespect。
  Shecouldnotbeprincessbywealthorstanding。Soshewasmad,tohavelearningwhereontoprideherself。Forshewasdifferent,fromotherfolk,andmustnotbescoopedupamongthecommonfry。
  Learningwastheonlydistinctiontowhichshethoughttoaspire。
  Herbeauty——thatofashy,wild,quiveringlysensitive,thing——seemednothingtoher。Evenhersoul,sostrongforrhapsody,wasnotenough。Shemusthavesomethingtoreinforceherpride,becauseshefeltdifferentfromotherpeople。Paulsheeyed,ratherwistfully。Onthewhole,shescornedthemalesex。
  Butherewasanewspecimen,quick,light,graceful,whocould,begentleandwhocouldbesad,andwhowasclever,andwhoknew,alot,andwhohadadeathinthefamily。Theboy’spoor,morseloflearningexaltedhimalmostsky-highinheresteem。
  Yetshetriedhardtoscornhim,becausehewouldnotseeinher,theprincessbutonlytheswine-girl。Andhescarcelyobservedher。
  Thenhewassoill,andshefelthewouldbeweak。Thenshe,wouldbestrongerthanhe。Thenshecouldlovehim。Ifshecould,bemistressofhiminhisweakness,takecareofhim,ifhecould,dependonher,ifshecould,asitwere,havehiminherarms,howshewouldlovehim!
  Assoonastheskiesbrightenedandplum-blossomwasout,Pauldroveoffinthemilkman’sheavyfloatuptoWilleyFarm。
  Mr。Leiversshoutedinakindlyfashionattheboy,thenclicked,tothehorseastheyclimbedthehillslowly,inthefreshness,ofthemorning。Whitecloudswentontheirway,crowdingtothe,backofthehillsthatwererousinginthespringtime。Thewater,ofNethermerelaybelow,veryblueagainstthesearedmeadowsand,thethorn-trees。
  Itwasfourandahalfmiles’drive。Tinybudsonthehedges,vividascopper-green,wereopeningintorosettes;andthrushescalled,andblackbirdsshriekedandscolded。Itwasanew,glamorousworld。
  Miriam,peepingthroughthekitchenwindow,sawthehorsewalk,throughthebigwhitegateintothefarmyardthatwasbackedbythe,oak-wood,stillbare。Thenayouthinaheavyovercoatclimbeddown。
  Heputuphishandsforthewhipandtherugthatthegood-looking,ruddyfarmerhandeddowntohim。
  Miriamappearedinthedoorway。Shewasnearlysixteen,verybeautiful,withherwarmcolouring,hergravity,hereyes,dilatingsuddenlylikeanecstasy。
  “Isay,“saidPaul,turningshylyaside,“yourdaffodils,arenearlyout。Isn’titearly?,Butdon’ttheylookcold?”
  “Cold!”saidMiriam,inhermusical,caressingvoice。
  “Thegreenontheirbuds——“andhefalteredintosilencetimidly。
  “Letmetaketherug,“saidMiriamover-gently。
  “Icancarryit,“heanswered,ratherinjured。Butheyielded,ittoher。
  ThenMrs。Leiversappeared。
  “I’msureyou’retiredandcold,“shesaid。”Letmetake,yourcoat。ItISheavy。Youmustn’twalkfarinit。”
  Shehelpedhimoffwithhiscoat。Hewasquiteunused,tosuchattention。Shewasalmostsmotheredunderitsweight。
  “Why,mother,“laughedthefarmerashepassedthroughthekitchen,swingingthegreatmilk-churns,“you’vegotalmostmorethanyou,canmanagethere。”
  Shebeatupthesofacushionsfortheyouth。
  Thekitchenwasverysmallandirregular。Thefarmhadbeen,originallyalabourer’scottage。Andthefurniturewasoldandbattered。
  ButPaullovedit——lovedthesack-bagthatformedthehearthrug,andthefunnylittlecornerunderthestairs,andthesmallwindow,deepinthecorner,throughwhich,bendingalittle,becouldsee,theplumtreesinthebackgardenandthelovelyroundhillsbeyond。
  “Won’tyouliedown?”saidMrs。Leivers。
  “Ohno;I’mnottired,“hesaid。”Isn’titlovelycomingout,don’tyouthink?,Isawasloe-bushinblossomandalotofcelandines。
  I’mgladit’ssunny。”
  “CanIgiveyouanythingtoeatortodrink?”
  “No,thankyou。”
  “How’syourmother?”
  “Ithinkshe’stirednow。Ithinkshe’shadtoomuchtodo。
  Perhapsinalittlewhileshe’llgotoSkegnesswithme。Thenshe’ll,beabletorest。Is’llbegladifshecan。”
  “Yes,“repliedMrs。Leivers。”It’sawondersheisn’t,illherself。”
  Miriamwasmovingaboutpreparingdinner。Paulwatched,everythingthathappened。Hisfacewaspaleandthin,buthiseyes,werequickandbrightwithlifeasever。Hewatchedthestrange,almostrhapsodicwayinwhichthegirlmovedabout,carryingagreat,stew-jartotheoven,orlookinginthesaucepan。Theatmosphere,wasdifferentfromthatofhisownhome,whereeverythingseemed,soordinary。WhenMr。Leiverscalledloudlyoutsidetothehorse,thatwasreachingovertofeedontherose-bushesinthegarden,thegirlstarted,lookedroundwithdarkeyes,asifsomethinghad,comebreakinginonherworld。Therewasasenseofsilenceinside,thehouseandout。Miriamseemedasinsomedreamytale,amaiden,inbondage,herspiritdreaminginalandfarawayandmagical。
  Andherdiscoloured,oldbluefrockandherbrokenbootsseemed,onlyliketheromanticragsofKingCophetua’sbeggar-maid。
  Shesuddenlybecameawareofhiskeenblueeyesuponher,takingherallin。Instantlyherbrokenbootsandherfrayedold,frockhurther。Sheresentedhisseeingeverything。Evenheknew,thatherstockingwasnotpulledup。Shewentintothescullery,blushingdeeply。Andafterwardsherhandstrembledslightlyat,herwork。Shenearlydroppedallshehandled。Whenherinside,dreamwasshaken,herbodyquiveredwithtrepidation。Sheresented,thathesawsomuch。
  Mrs。Leiverssatforsometimetalkingtotheboy,althoughshe,wasneededatherwork。Shewastoopolitetoleavehim。
  Presentlysheexcusedherselfandrose。Afterawhileshelooked,intothetinsaucepan。
  “OhDEAR,Miriam,“shecried,“thesepotatoeshaveboileddry!”
  Miriamstartedasifshehadbeenstung。
  “HAVEthey,mother?”shecried。
  “Ishouldn’tcare,Miriam,“saidthemother,“ifIhadn’t,trustedthemtoyou。”,Shepeeredintothepan。
  Thegirlstiffenedasiffromablow。Herdarkeyesdilated;
  sheremainedstandinginthesamespot。
  “Well,“sheanswered,grippedtightinself-consciousshame,“I’msureIlookedatthemfiveminutessince。”
  “Yes,“saidthemother,“Iknowit’seasilydone。”
  “They’renotmuchburned,“saidPaul。”Itdoesn’tmatter,doesit?”
  Mrs。Leiverslookedattheyouthwithherbrown,hurteyes。
  “Itwouldn’tmatterbutfortheboys,“shesaidtohim。
  “OnlyMiriamknowswhatatroubletheymakeifthepotatoesare,’caught’。”
  “Then,“thoughtPaultohimself,“youshouldn’tletthemmake,atrouble。”
  AfterawhileEdgarcamein。Heworeleggings,andhisboots,werecoveredwithearth。Hewasrathersmall,ratherformal,forafarmer。HeglancedatPaul,noddedtohimdistantly,andsaid:
  “Dinnerready?”
  “Nearly,Edgar,“repliedthemotherapologetically。
  “I’mreadyformine,“saidtheyoungman,takingupthenewspaper,andreading。Presentlytherestofthefamilytroopedin。
  Dinnerwasserved。Themealwentratherbrutally。Theover-gentleness,andapologetictoneofthemotherbroughtoutallthebrutality,ofmannersinthesons。Edgartastedthepotatoes,movedhismouth,quicklylikearabbit,lookedindignantlyathismother,andsaid:
  “Thesepotatoesareburnt,mother。”
  “Yes,Edgar。Iforgotthemforaminute。Perhapsyou’ll,havebreadifyoucan’teatthem。”
  EdgarlookedinangeracrossatMiriam。
  “WhatwasMiriamdoingthatshecouldn’tattendtothem?”
  hesaid。
  Miriamlookedup。Hermouthopened,herdarkeyesblazed,andwinced,butshesaidnothing。Sheswallowedheranger,andhershame,bowingherdarkhead。
  “I’msureshewastryinghard,“saidthemother。
  “Shehasn’tgotsenseeventoboilthepotatoes,“saidEdgar。
  “Whatisshekeptathomefor?”
  “On’yforeatingeverythingthat’sleftinth’pantry,“saidMaurice。
  “Theydon’tforgetthatpotato-pieagainstourMiriam,“
  laughedthefather。
  Shewasutterlyhumiliated。Themothersatinsilence,suffering,likesomesaintoutofplaceatthebrutalboard。
  ItpuzzledPaul。Hewonderedvaguelywhyallthisintensefeeling,wentrunningbecauseofafewburntpotatoes。Themotherexalted,everything——evenabitofhousework——totheplaneofareligioustrust。
  Thesonsresentedthis;theyfeltthemselvescutawayunderneath,and,theyansweredwithbrutalityandalsowithasneeringsuperciliousness。
  Paulwasjustopeningoutfromchildhoodintomanhood。
  Thisatmosphere,whereeverythingtookareligiousvalue,camewith,asubtlefascinationtohim。Therewassomethingintheair。
  Hisownmotherwaslogical。Heretherewassomethingdifferent,somethingheloved,somethingthatattimeshehated。
  Miriamquarrelledwithherbrothersfiercely。Laterin,theafternoon,whentheyhadgoneawayagain,hermothersaid:
  “Youdisappointedmeatdinner-time,Miriam。”
  Thegirldroppedherhead。
  “TheyaresuchBRUTES!”shesuddenlycried,lookingup,withflashingeyes。
  “Buthadn’tyoupromisednottoanswerthem?”saidthemother。
  “AndIbelievedinyou。ICAN’Tstanditwhenyouwrangle。”
  “Butthey’resohateful!”criedMiriam,“and——andLOW。”
  “Yes,dear。ButhowoftenhaveIaskedyounottoanswer,Edgarback?,Can’tyoulethimsaywhathelikes?”
  “Butwhyshouldhesaywhathelikes?”
  “Aren’tyoustrongenoughtobearit,Miriam,ifevenformysake?
  Areyousoweakthatyoumustwranglewiththem?”
  Mrs。Leiversstuckunflinchinglytothisdoctrineof“theother,cheek“。Shecouldnotinstilitatallintotheboys。Withthe,girlsshesucceededbetter,andMiriamwasthechildofherheart。
  Theboysloathedtheothercheekwhenitwaspresentedtothem。
  Miriamwasoftensufficientlyloftytoturnit。Thentheyspat,onherandhatedher。Butshewalkedinherproudhumility,livingwithinherself。
  Therewasalwaysthisfeelingofjangleanddiscordinthe,Leiversfamily。Althoughtheboysresentedsobitterlythiseternal,appealtotheirdeeperfeelingsofresignationandproudhumility,yetithaditseffectonthem。Theycouldnotestablishbetweenthemselves,andanoutsiderjusttheordinaryhumanfeelingandunexaggerated,friendship;theywerealwaysrestlessforthesomethingdeeper。
  Ordinaryfolkseemedshallowtothem,trivialandinconsiderable。
  Andsotheywereunaccustomed,painfullyuncouthinthesimplest,socialintercourse,suffering,andyetinsolentintheirsuperiority。
  Thenbeneathwastheyearningforthesoul-intimacytowhichtheycould,notattainbecausetheyweretoodumb,andeveryapproachtoclose,connectionwasblockedbytheirclumsycontemptofotherpeople。
  Theywantedgenuineintimacy,buttheycouldnotgetevennormally,neartoanyone,becausetheyscornedtotakethefirststeps,theyscornedthetrivialitywhichformscommonhumanintercourse。
  PaulfellunderMrs。Leivers’sspell。Everythinghad,areligiousandintensifiedmeaningwhenhewaswithher。
  Hissoul,hurt,highlydeveloped,soughtherasiffornourishment。
  Togethertheyseemedtosiftthevitalfactfromanexperience。
  Miriamwashermother’sdaughter。Inthesunshineofthe,afternoonmotheranddaughterwentdownthefieldswithhim。
  Theylookedfornests。Therewasajennywren’sinthehedge,bytheorchard。
  “IDOwantyoutoseethis,“saidMrs。Leivers。
  Hecroucheddownandcarefullyputhisfingerthroughthe,thornsintotherounddoorofthenest。
  “It’salmostasifyouwerefeelinginsidethelivebody,ofthebird,“hesaid,“it’ssowarm。Theysayabirdmakes,itsnestroundlikeacupwithpressingitsbreastonit。
  Thenhowdiditmaketheceilinground,Iwonder?”
  Thenestseemedtostartintolifeforthetwowomen。
  Afterthat,Miriamcametoseeiteveryday。Itseemedsoclose,toher。Again,goingdownthehedgesidewiththegirl,henoticed,thecelandines,scallopedsplashesofgold,onthesideoftheditch。
  “Ilikethem,“hesaid,“whentheirpetalsgoflatbackwith,thesunshine。Theyseemedtobepressingthemselvesatthesun。”
  Andthenthecelandineseverafterdrewherwithalittlespell。
  Anthropomorphicasshewas,shestimulatedhimintoappreciating,thingsthus,andthentheylivedforher。Sheseemedtoneedthings,kindlinginherimaginationorinhersoulbeforeshefeltshe,hadthem。Andshewascutofffromordinarylifebyherreligious,intensitywhichmadetheworldforhereitheranunnerygarden,oraparadise,wheresinandknowledgewerenot,orelseanugly,cruelthing。
  Soitwasinthisatmosphereofsubtleintimacy,thismeeting,intheircommonfeelingforsomethinginNature,thattheirlovestarted。
  Personally,hewasalongtimebeforeherealizedher。
  Fortenmonthshehadtostayathomeafterhisillness。Fora,whilehewenttoSkegnesswithhismother,andwasperfectlyhappy。
  ButevenfromtheseasidehewrotelongletterstoMrs。Leivers,abouttheshoreandthesea。Andhebroughtbackhisbeloved,sketchesoftheflatLincolncoast,anxiousforthemtosee。
  AlmosttheywouldinteresttheLeiversmorethantheyinterested,hismother。ItwasnothisartMrs。Morelcaredabout;itwashimself,andhisachievement。ButMrs。Leiversandherchildrenwerealmost,hisdisciples。Theykindledhimandmadehimglowtohiswork,whereashismother’sinfluencewastomakehimquietlydetermined,patient,dogged,unwearied。
  Hesoonwasfriendswiththeboys,whoserudenesswas,onlysuperficial。Theyhadall,whentheycouldtrustthemselves,astrangegentlenessandlovableness。
  “Willyoucomewithmeontothefallow?”askedEdgar,ratherhesitatingly。
  Paulwentjoyfully,andspenttheafternoonhelpingtohoeorto,singleturnipswithhisfriend。Heusedtoliewiththethreebrothers,inthehaypiledupinthebarnandtellthemaboutNottinghamand,aboutJordan’s。Inreturn,theytaughthimtomilk,andlethimdo,littlejobs——choppinghayorpulpingturnips——justasmuchasheliked。
  Atmidsummerheworkedallthroughhay-harvestwiththem,andthen,helovedthem。Thefamilywassocutofffromtheworldactually。
  Theyseemed,somehow,like“lesderniersfilsd’uneraceepuisee“。
  Thoughtheladswerestrongandhealthy,yettheyhadallthat,over-sensitivenessandhanging-backwhichmadethemsolonely,yetalsosuchclose,delicatefriendsoncetheirintimacywaswon。
  Paullovedthemdearly,andtheyhim。
  Miriamcamelater。Buthehadcomeintoherlifebeforeshe,madeanymarkonhis。Onedullafternoon,whenthemenwereon,thelandandtherestatschool,onlyMiriamandhermother,athome,thegirlsaidtohim,afterhavinghesitatedforsometime:
  “Haveyouseentheswing?”
  “No,“heanswered。”Where?”
  “Inthecowshed,“shereplied。
  Shealwayshesitatedtoofferortoshowhimanything。
  Menhavesuchdifferentstandardsofworthfromwomen,andherdear,things——thevaluablethingstoher——herbrothershadsooftenmocked,orflouted。
  “Comeon,then,“hereplied,jumpingup。
  Thereweretwocowsheds,oneoneithersideofthebarn。
  Inthelower,darkershedtherewasstandingforfourcows。
  Hensflewscoldingoverthemanger-wallastheyouthandgirlwent,forwardforthegreatthickropewhichhungfromthebeaminthe,darknessoverhead,andwaspushedbackoverapeginthewall。
  “It’ssomethinglikearope!”heexclaimedappreciatively;
  andhesatdownonit,anxioustotryit。Thenimmediatelyherose。
  “Comeon,then,andhavefirstgo,“hesaidtothegirl。
  “See,“sheanswered,goingintothebarn,“weputsomebags,ontheseat“;andshemadetheswingcomfortableforhim。
  Thatgaveherpleasure。Heheldtherope。
  “Comeon,then,“hesaidtoher。
  “No,Iwon’tgofirst,“sheanswered。
  Shestoodasideinherstill,alooffashion。
  “Why?”
  “Yougo,“shepleaded。
  Almostforthefirsttimeinherlifeshehadthepleasure,ofgivinguptoaman,ofspoilinghim。Paullookedather。
  “Allright,“hesaid,sittingdown。”Mindout!”
  Hesetoffwithaspring,andinamomentwasflyingthrough,theair,almostoutofthedooroftheshed,theupperhalfofwhich,wasopen,showingoutsidethedrizzlingrain,thefilthyyard,thecattlestandingdisconsolateagainsttheblackcartshed,andat,thebackofallthegrey-greenwallofthewood。Shestoodbelow,inhercrimsontam-o’-shanterandwatched。Helookeddownather,andshesawhisblueeyessparkling。
  “It’satreatofaswing,“hesaid。
  “Yes。”
  Hewasswingingthroughtheair,everybitofhimswinging,likeabirdthatswoopsforjoyofmovement。Andhelookeddown,ather。Hercrimsoncaphungoverherdarkcurls,herbeautiful,warmface,sostillinakindofbrooding,wasliftedtowardshim。
  Itwasdarkandrathercoldintheshed。Suddenlyaswallowcame,downfromthehighroofanddartedoutofthedoor。
  “Ididn’tknowabirdwaswatching,“hecalled。
  Heswungnegligently。Shecouldfeelhimfallingandlifting,throughtheair,asifhewerelyingonsomeforce。
  “NowI’lldie,“hesaid,inadetached,dreamyvoice,asthough,hewerethedyingmotionoftheswing。Shewatchedhim,fascinated。
  Suddenlyheputonthebrakeandjumpedout。
  “I’vehadalongturn,“hesaid。”Butit’satreat,ofaswing——it’sarealtreatofaswing!”
  Miriamwasamusedthathetookaswingsoseriouslyandfelt,sowarmlyoverit。
  “No;yougoon,“shesaid。
  “Why,don’tyouwantone?”heasked,astonished。
  “Well,notmuch。I’llhavejustalittle。”
  Shesatdown,whilsthekeptthebagsinplaceforher。
  “It’ssoripping!”hesaid,settingherinmotion。”Keepyour,heelsup,orthey’llbangthemangerwall。”
  Shefelttheaccuracywithwhichhecaughther,exactlyatthe,rightmoment,andtheexactlyproportionatestrengthofhisthrust,andshewasafraid。Downtoherbowelswentthehotwaveoffear。
  Shewasinhishands。Again,firmandinevitablecamethethrustat,therightmoment。Shegrippedtherope,almostswooning。
  “Ha!”shelaughedinfear。”Nohigher!”
  “Butyou’renotaBIThigh,“heremonstrated。
  “Butnohigher。”
  Heheardthefearinhervoice,anddesisted。Herheartmelted,inhotpainwhenthemomentcameforhimtothrustherforwardagain。
  Butheleftheralone。Shebegantobreathe。
  “Won’tyoureallygoanyfarther?”heasked。”ShouldIkeep,youthere?”
  “No;letmegobymyself,“sheanswered。
  Hemovedasideandwatchedher。
  “Why,you’rescarcelymoving,“hesaid。
  Shelaughedslightlywithshame,andinamomentgotdown。
  “Theysayifyoucanswingyouwon’tbesea-sick,“hesaid,ashemountedagain。”Idon’tbelieveIshouldeverbesea-sick。”
  Awayhewent。Therewassomethingfascinatingtoherinhim。
  Forthemomenthewasnothingbutapieceofswingingstuff;
  notaparticleofhimthatdidnotswing。Shecouldneverlose,herselfso,norcouldherbrothers。Itrousedawarmthinher。
  Itwasalmostasifhewereaflamethathadlitawarmthinher,whilstheswunginthemiddleair。
  Andgraduallytheintimacywiththefamilyconcentrated,forPaulonthreepersons——themother,Edgar,andMiriam。
  Tothemotherhewentforthatsympathyandthatappealwhichseemed,todrawhimout。Edgarwashisveryclosefriend。AndtoMiriam,hemoreorlesscondescended,becausesheseemedsohumble。
  Butthegirlgraduallysoughthimout。Ifhebroughtuphis,sketch-book,itwasshewhoponderedlongestoverthelastpicture。
  Thenshewouldlookupathim。Suddenly,herdarkeyesalightlike,waterthatshakeswithastreamofgoldinthedark,shewouldask:
  “WhydoIlikethisso?”
  Alwayssomethinginhisbreastshrankfromtheseclose,intimate,dazzledlooksofhers。
  “WhyDOyou?”heasked。
  “Idon’tknow。Itseemssotrue。”
  “It’sbecause——it’sbecausethereisscarcelyanyshadowinit;
  it’smoreshimmery,asifI’dpaintedtheshimmeringprotoplasm,intheleavesandeverywhere,andnotthestiffnessoftheshape。
  Thatseemsdeadtome。Onlythisshimmerinessistherealliving。
  Theshapeisadeadcrust。Theshimmerisinsidereally。”
  Andshe,withherlittlefingerinhermouth,wouldponder,thesesayings。Theygaveherafeelingoflifeagain,andvivified,thingswhichhadmeantnothingtoher。Shemanagedtofindsome,meaninginhisstruggling,abstractspeeches。Andtheywere,themediumthroughwhichshecamedistinctlyatherbelovedobjects。
  Anotherdayshesatatsunsetwhilsthewaspaintingsome,pine-treeswhichcaughttheredglarefromthewest。Hehadbeenquiet。
  “Thereyouare!”hesaidsuddenly。”Iwantedthat。Now,lookat,themandtellme,aretheypinetrunksoraretheyredcoals,standing-uppiecesoffireinthatdarkness?,There’sGod’sburning,bushforyou,thatburnednotaway。”
  Miriamlooked,andwasfrightened。Butthepinetrunkswere,wonderfultoher,anddistinct。Hepackedhisboxandrose。
  Suddenlyhelookedather。
  “Whyareyoualwayssad?”heaskedher。
  “Sad!”sheexclaimed,lookingupathimwithstartled,wonderfulbrowneyes。
  “Yes,“hereplied。”Youarealwayssad。”
  “Iamnot——oh,notabit!”shecried。
  “Butevenyourjoyislikeaflamecomingoffofsadness,“
  hepersisted。”You’reneverjolly,orevenjustallright。”
  “No,“shepondered。”Iwonder——why?”
  “Becauseyou’renot;becauseyou’redifferentinside,likeapine-tree,andthenyouflareup;butyou’renotjust,likeanordinarytree,withfidgetyleavesandjolly——“
  Hegottangledupinhisownspeech;butshebroodedonit,andhehadastrange,rousedsensation,asifhisfeelingswerenew。
  Shegotsonearhim。Itwasastrangestimulant。
  Thensometimeshehatedher。Heryoungestbrotherwasonlyfive。
  Hewasafraillad,withimmensebrowneyesinhisquaintfragile,face——oneofReynolds’s“ChoirofAngels“withatouchofelf。
  OftenMiriamkneeledtothechildanddrewhimtoher。
  “Eh,myHubert!”shesang,inavoiceheavyandsurcharged,withlove。”Eh,myHubert!”
  And,foldinghiminherarms,sheswayedslightlyfromside,tosidewithlove,herfacehalflifted,hereyeshalfclosed,hervoicedrenchedwithlove。
  “Don’t!”saidthechild,uneasy——“don’t,Miriam!”
  “Yes;youloveme,don’tyou?”shemurmureddeepinherthroat,almostasifshewereinatrance,andswayingalsoasifshewere,swoonedinanecstasyoflove。
  “Don’t!”repeatedthechild,afrownonhisclearbrow。
  “Youloveme,don’tyou?”shemurmured。
  “WhatdoyoumakesuchaFUSSfor?”criedPaul,allinsuffering,becauseofherextremeemotion。”Whycan’tyoubeordinarywithhim?”
  Sheletthechildgo,androse,andsaidnothing。Herintensity,whichwouldleavenoemotiononanormalplane,irritatedtheyouth,intoafrenzy。Andthisfearful,nakedcontactofheronsmall,occasionsshockedhim。Hewasusedtohismother’sreserve。
  Andonsuchoccasionshewasthankfulinhisheartandsoulthathe,hadhismother,sosaneandwholesome。
  AllthelifeofMiriam’sbodywasinhereyes,whichwereusually,darkasadarkchurch,butcouldflamewithlightlikeaconflagration。
  Herfacescarcelyeveralteredfromitslookofbrooding。
  ShemighthavebeenoneofthewomenwhowentwithMarywhenJesus,wasdead。Herbodywasnotflexibleandliving。Shewalked,withaswing,ratherheavily,herheadbowedforward,pondering。