Ihadhadaverynarrowescape。AnothermomentandIshouldnothavelivedtotellthetale。ThedaggerthathadalreadyimmolatedtwoofBourgonef’sobjectsofvengeancewouldhavebeeninmybreast。Asitwas,attheverymomentwhentheterribleIvanhadthrownhisarmsaroundmeandwasstiflingmewithchloroform,oneoftheservantsofthehotel,alarmedorattractedbycuriosityatthesoundofhighwordswithintheroom,hadventuredtoopenthedoortoseewhatwasgoingon。Thealarmhadbeengiven,andBourgonefhadbeenarrestedandhandedovertothepolice。Ivan,however,haddisappeared;norwerethepoliceeverabletofindhim。Thismatteredcomparativelylittle。Ivanwithouthismasterwasnomoreredoubtablethananyothernoxiousanimal。Asanaccomplice,asaninstrumenttoexecutethewillofamanlikeBourgonef,hewasadangertosociety。Thedirectingintelligencewithdrawn,hesanktothelevelofthebrute。Iwasnotuneasy,therefore,athishavingescaped。Sufficientformethattherealcriminal,themindthathadconceivedanddirectedthosefearfulmurders,wasatlastinthehandsofjustice。IfeltthatmytaskhadbeenfullyaccomplishedwhenBourgonef’sheadfellonthescaffold。
TheClosedCabinetI
ItwaswithalittlealarmandagooddealofpleasurableexcitementthatIlookedforwardtomyfirstgrown-upvisittoMervynGrange。Ihadbeenthereseveraltimesasachild,butneversinceIwastwelveyearsold,andnowIwasovereighteen。
WewereallofusveryproudofourcousinstheMervyns:itisnoteverybodythatcanclaimkinshipwithafamilywhoareinfullandadmittedpossessionofasecret,acurse,andamysteriouscabinet,inadditiontotheusualsurplusageofhorrorssuppliedinsuchcasesbypopularimagination。SomedeclaredthataMervynofthedaysofHenryVIIIhadbeencursedbyaninjuredabbotfromthefootofthegallows。OthersaffirmedthatadissipatedMervynoftheGeorgianerawasstillplayingcardsforhissoulinsomeremoteregionoftheGrange。Therewerestoriesofwhiteladiesandblackimps,ofbloodstainedpassagesandmagicstones。We,proudofourmoreintimateacquaintancewiththefamily,naturallygavenocredencetothesewildinventions。TheMervyns,indeed,followedtheacceptedprecedentinsuchcases,andgreatlydislikedanyreferencetothereputedmysterybeingmadeintheirpresence;
withtheinevitableresultthattherewasnosubjectsopertinaciouslydiscussedbytheirfriendsintheirabsence。Myfather’ssisterhadmarriedthelateBaronet,SirHenryMervyn,andwealwaysfeltthatsheoughttohavebeenthemeansofimpartingtousaverycompleteknowledgeofthefamilysecret。Butinthisconnectionsheundoubtedlyfailedofherduty。Weknewthattherehadbeenaterribletragedyinthefamilysometwoorthreehundredyearsago——thatapeculiarlywickedownerofMervyn,whoflourishedinthelatterpartofthesixteenthcentury,hadbeenmurderedbyhiswifewhosubsequentlycommittedsuicide。Weknewthatthemysteriouscursehadsomeconnectionwiththiscrime,butwhatthecurseexactlywaswehadneverbeenabletodiscover。Thehistoryofthefamilysincethattimehadindeedinonesensebeenfullofmisfortune。Notineverysense。Acoalminehadbeendiscoveredinonepartoftheestate,andapopulouscityhadgrownoverthecornerofanotherpart;andtheMervynsofto-day,inspiteoftheusualpercentageofextravagantheirsandpoliticalmistakes,werethreetimesasrichastheirancestorshadbeen。Butstilltheirstorywasfullofbloodshedandshame,oftalesofduelsandsuicides,brokenheartsandbrokenhonor。Onlythesecalamitiesseemedtohavelittleornorelationtoeachother,andwhattheprecisecursewasthatwassupposedtoconnectoraccountforthemwecouldnotlearn。Whenshefirstmarried,myauntwastoldnothingaboutit。Lateroninlife,whenmyfatheraskedherforthestory,shebeggedhimtotalkuponapleasantersubject;andbeingunluckilyamanofmuchcourtesyandlittlecuriosity,hecompliedwithherrequest。This,however,wastheonlypartoftheghostlytraditionsofherhusband’shomeuponwhichshewassoreticent。Thehauntedchamber,forinstance——which,ofcourse,existedattheGrange——shetreatedwiththegreatestcontempt。
Variousfriendsandrelationshadsleptinitatdifferenttimes,andnoapproachtoanykindofauthenticatedghost-story,evenofthemosttrivialdescription,hadtheybeenabletosupply。Itsonlyclaimtorespect,indeed,wasthatitcontainedthefamousMervyncabinet,afascinatingpuzzleofwhichIwillspeaklater,butwhichcertainlyhadnothinghauntingorhorribleaboutitsappearance。
Myuncle’sfamilyconsistedofthreesons。Theeldest,George,thepresentbaronet,wasnowinhisthirties,married,andwithchildrenofhisown。Thesecond,Jack,wastheblack-sheepofthefamily。HehadbeenintheGuards,but,aboutfiveyearsback,hadgotintosomeverydisgracefulscrape,andhadbeenobligedtoleavethecountry。Thesorrowandtheshameofthishadkilledhisunhappymother,andherhusbandhadnotlongafterwardsfollowedhertothegrave。Alan,theyoungestson,probablybecausehewasthenearesttousinage,hadbeenourspecialfavoriteinearlieryears。GeorgewasgrownupbeforeIhadwellleftthenursery,andhishot,quicktemperhadalwayskeptusyoungsterssomewhatinaweofhim。JackwasfouryearsolderthanAlan,and,besides,hisprofessionhad,inaway,cuthisboyhoodshort。Whenmyuncleandauntwereabroad,astheyfrequentlywereformonthstogetheronaccountofherhealth,itwasAlan,chiefly,whohadtospendhisholidayswithus,bothasschool-boyandasundergraduate。Andabrighter,sweeter-temperedcomrade,oronepossessedofmorediversifiedtalentsfortheinventionofgamesorthetellingofstories,itwouldhavebeendifficulttofind。
ForfiveyearstogethernowourancientcustomofanannualvisittoMervynhadbeenbroken。Firsttherehadbeentheseclusionofmourningformyaunt,andayearlaterformyuncle;thenGeorgeandhiswife,Lucy,——shewasaconnectionofourownonourmother’sside,andveryintimatewithusall,——hadbeenawayfornearlytwoyearsonavoyageroundtheworld;andsincethensicknessinourownfamilyhadkeptusinourturnagooddealabroad。SothatIhadnotseenmycousinssinceallthecalamitieswhichhadbefallenthemintheinterval,andasIsteamednorthwardsIwonderedagooddealastothechangesIshouldfind。
IwastohavecomeoutthatyearinLondon,butill-healthhadpreventedme;andasasortofconsolationLucyhadkindlyaskedmetospendafortnightatMervyn,andbepresentatashooting-party,whichwastoassemblethereinthefirstweekofOctober。
Ihadstartedearly,andtherewasstillanhouroftheshortautumndayleftwhenIdescendedatthelittlewaysidestation,fromwhichasix-miledrivebroughtmetotheGrange。AdrearydriveIfoundit——theround,gray,treelessoutlineofthefellsstretchingaroundmeoneverysidebeneaththeleaden,changelesssky。ThenighthadnearlyfallenaswedrovealongthenarrowvalleyinwhichtheGrangestood:itwastoodarktoseetheautumntintsofthewoodswhichclothedandbrighteneditssides,almosttoodarktodistinguishtheoldtower,——DameAlice’stowerasitwascalled,——whichstoodsomehalfamilefartheronatitshead。
ButthelightshonebrightlyfromtheGrangewindows,andallfeelingofdrearinessdepartedasIdroveuptothedoor。Leavingmaidandboxestotheirfate,Iranupthestepsintotheold,well-rememberedhall,andwasinformedbythedignifiedman-servantthatherladyshipandtheteawereawaitingmeinthemorning-room。
IfoundthattherewasnobodystayinginthehouseexceptAlan,whowasfinishingthelongvacationthere:hehadbeencalledtotheBaracoupleofyearsbefore。Theguestswerenottoarriveforanotherweek,sothatIhadplentyofopportunityintheintervaltomakeupforlosttimewithmycousins。Ibeganmyobservationsthateveningaswesatdowntodinner,acozypartyoffour。Lucywasquiteunchanged——pretty,foolish,andgentleasever。Georgeshowedthefullfiveyears’increaseofage,andseemedtohaveacquiredasomewhatpainfulcontrolofhistemper。Insteadoftheoldpetulantoutbursts,therewasattimesanairofnervous,irritableself-restraint,whichIfoundthelesspleasantofthetwo。ButitwasinAlanthatthemoststrikingalterationappeared。IfeltitthemomentIshookhandswithhim,andtheimpressiondeepenedthateveningwitheveryhour。Itoldmyselfthatitwasonlythenaturaldifferencebetweenboyandman,betweentwentyandtwenty-five,butIdon’tthinkthatIbelievedit。Superficiallythechangewasnotgreat。Theslight-built,gracefulfigure;thedeepgrayeyes,toosmallforbeauty;theclear-cutfeatures,thedelicate,sensitivelips,closeshavennow,astheyhadbeenhairlessthen,——allwereasIrememberedthem。
Butthefacewaspalerandthinnerthanithadbeen,andtherewerelinesroundtheeyesandatthecornersofthemouthwhichwerenomorenaturaltotwenty-fivethantheywouldhavebeentotwenty。
Theoldcharmindeed——thesweetfriendlinessofmanner,whichwashisownpeculiarpossession——wasstillthere。Hetalkedandlaughedalmostasmuchasformerly,butthetalkwasmanufacturedforourentertainment,andthelaughtercamefromhisheadandnotfromhisheart。Anditwaswhenhewastakingnopartintheconversationthatthechangeshowedmost。Thentheface,onwhichintheoldtimeeverypassingemotionhadexpresseditselfinaconstant,livingcurrent,becamecoldandimpassive——withoutinterest,andwithoutdesire。ItwasatsuchtimesthatIknewmostcertainlythatherewassomethingwhichhadbeenlivingandwasdead。Wasitonlyhisboyhood?ThisquestionIwasunabletoanswer。
Still,inspiteofall,thatweekwasoneofthehappiestinmylife。Thebrotherswerebothmenofenoughabilityandcultivationtobepleasanttalkers,andLucycouldperformadequatelythepartofconversationalaccompanist,which,sociallyspeaking,isallthatisrequiredofawoman。Themealsandeveningspassedquicklyandagreeably;themorningsIspentinunendinggossipswithLucy,oringameswiththechildren,twobrightboysoffiveandsixyearsold。Buttheafternoonswerethebestpartoftheday。
Georgewasathoroughsquireinallhistastesandhabits,andeveryafternoonhiswifedutifullyaccompaniedhimroundfarmsandcoverts,inspectingnewbuildings,trudgingalonghalf-maderoads,ormarkingunoffendingtreesfordestruction。ThenAlanandI
wouldridebythehourtogetherovermoorandmeadowland,oftenpickingourwayhomewardsdowntheglen-sidelongaftertheautumneveningshadclosedin。DuringtheseridesIhadglimpsesmanyatimeintodepthsinAlan’snatureofwhichIdoubtwhetherintheolddayshehadhimselfbeenaware。Tomecertainlytheywereasarevelation。Aprevailingsadness,occasionallyapainfultoneofbitterness,characterizedthesemoreseriousmoodsofhis,butIdonotthinkthat,attheendofthatweek,Iwould,ifIcould,havechangedtheman,whomIwaslearningtorevereandtopity,forthelight-heartedplaymatewhomIfeltwaslosttomeforever。
II
Theonlyfeatureofthefamilylifewhichjarredonmewastheattitudeofthetwobrotherstowardsthechildren。Ididnotnoticethismuchatfirst,andatalltimesitwasathingtobefeltratherthantobeseen。Georgehimselfneverseemedquiteateasewiththem。Theboyswerestrongandwellgrown,healthyinmindandbody;andonewouldhavethoughtthattheexistenceoftwosuchrepresentativestocarryonhisnameandinherithisfortunewouldhavebeentheverycrownofprideandhappinesstotheirfather。Butitwasnotso。Lucyindeedwasdevotedtothem,andinallpracticalmattersnoonecouldhavebeenkindertothemthanwasGeorge。Theywerefreeofthewholehouse,andeveryindulgencethatmoneycouldbuyforthemtheyhad。Ineverheardhimgivethemaharshword。Buttherewassomethingwrong。A
constraintintheirpresence,areliefintheirabsence,anevidentdislikeofdiscussingthemandtheiraffairs,atotalwantofthatenjoymentofloveandpossessionwhichinsuchacaseonemighthaveexpectedtofind。Alan’sstateofmindwasevenmoremarked。
NeverdidIhearhimwillinglyaddresshisnephews,orinanywayalludetotheirexistence。Ishouldhavesaidthathesimplyignoredit,butfortheheavygloomwhichalwaysoverspreadhisspiritsintheircompany,andfortheglanceswhichhewouldnowandagaincastintheirdirection——glancesfullofsomehiddenpainfulemotion,thoughofwhatnatureitwouldhavebeenhardtodefine。Indeed,Alan’sattitudetowardsherchildrenIsoonfoundtobetheonlysourceoffrictionbetweenLucyandthisotherwisemuch-lovedmemberofherhusband’sfamily。Iaskedheronedaywhytheboysneverappearedatluncheon。”Oh,theycomewhenAlanisaway,”sheanswered;”buttheyseemtoannoyhimsomuchthatGeorgethinksitisbettertokeepthemoutofsightwhenheishere。Itisverytiresome。IknowthatitisthefashiontosaythatGeorgehasgotthetemperofthefamily;
butIassureyouthatAlan’snervousmoodsandfanciesaremuchmoredifficulttolivewith。”
Thatwasonthemorning——aFridayitwas——ofthelastdaywhichweweretospendalone。Theguestsweretoarrivesoonaftertea;andIthinkthatwiththeknowledgeoftheirapproachAlanandI
prolongedourridethatafternoonbeyonditsusuallimits。Wewereonourwayhome,anditwasalreadydusk,whenaturnofthepathbroughtusfacetofacewiththeoldruinedtower,ofwhichIhavealreadyspokenasstandingattheheadofthevalley。IhadnotbeencloseuptoityetduringthisvisitatMervyn。Ithadbeenaveryfavoritehauntofoursaschildren,andpartlyonthataccount,partlyperhapsinordertodeferthedreadedcloseofourridetothelastpossiblemoment,Iproposedaninspectionofit。
Theonlyportionoftheoldbuildingleftstandinginanykindofentiretywastworooms,oneabovetheother。Thetowerroom,levelwiththebottomofthemoat,wasdarkanddamp,anditwastheupperone,reachedbyalittleoutsidestaircase,whichhadbeenourrendezvousofold。Alanshowednodispositiontoenter,andsaidthathewouldstayoutsideandholdmyhorse,soIdismountedandranupalone。
Theroomseemedinnowaychanged。Amerestoneshell,litteredwithfragmentsofwoodandmortar。TherewastheroughwoodenblockonwhichAlanusedtositwhilehefirstfrighteneduswithbogey-stories,andthencalmedourexcitednervesbyrapidsalliesofwildnonsense。Therewastheplankfrombehindwhich,erectedasabarrieracrossthedoorway,hewoulddefendthecastleagainstourunitedassault,peltinguswithfir-conesandsodsofearth。
ThisandmanyabygonescenethrongedonmeasIstoodthere,andtheroomfilledagainwiththememoriesofchildishmirth。Andfollowingclosecamethoseofchildishterrors。Horrorswhichhadoppressedmethen,whollyimaginedordimlyapprehendedfromhalf-
heardtraditions,andneverthoughtofsince,flittedaroundmeinthegatheringdusk。Andwiththemitseemedtomeasiftherecameothermemoriestoo,——memorieswhichhadneverbeenmyown,ofsceneswhoseactorshadlongbeenwiththedead,butwhich,immortalasthespiritbeforewhoseeyestheyhaddwelt,stilllingeredinthespotwheretheirvictimhadfirstlearnttoshudderattheirpresence。Oncetheghastlynotioncametome,itseizedonmyimaginationwithirresistibleforce。Itseemedasiffromthedarkenedcornersoftheroomvague,ill-definedshapeswereactuallypeeringoutatme。Whennightcametheywouldshowthemselvesinthatform,lividandterrible,inwhichtheyhadbeenburntintothebrainandheartofthelongagodead。
IturnedandglancedtowardswhereIhadleftAlan。Icouldseehisfigureframedinbythewindow,ablackshadowagainstthegraytwilightoftheskybehind。Erectandperfectlymotionlesshesat,somotionlessastolookalmostlifeless,gazingbeforehimdownthevalleyintotheillimitabledistancebeyond。Therewassomethinginthatsternimmobilityoflookandattitudewhichstruckmewithacurioussenseofcongruity。Itwasrightthatheshouldbethus——rightthatheshouldbenolongerthelaughingboywhoamomentbeforehadbeeninmymemory。Thehauntinghorrorsofthatplaceseemedtodemandit,andforthefirsttimeIfeltthatIunderstoodthechange。WithaneffortIshookmyselffreefromthesefancies,andturnedtogo。AsIdidso,myeyefelluponaqueer-shapedpaintedboard,leaningupagainstthewall,whichI
wellrecollectedinoldtimes。Manyadiscussionhadwehadaboutthelegendinscribeduponit,whichinourwisdomwehadfinallypronouncedtobeGerman,chieflybecauseitwasillegible。ThoughIhadloudlyprofessedmyfaithinthistheoryatthetime,Ihadalwayshaduneasydoubtsonthesubject,andnowhalfsmilingI
bentdowntoverifyorremovethem。ThelanguagewasEnglish,notGerman;butthebadlypainted,fadedGothiclettersinwhichitwaswrittenmadethemistakeexcusable。InthedimlightIhaddifficultyevennowindecipheringthewords,andfeltwhenIhaddonesothatneithertheinformationconveyednorthestyleofthecompositionwassufficientrewardforthetroubleIhadtaken。
ThisiswhatIread:”Wherethewomansinnedthemaidshallwin;
ButGodhelpthemaidthatsleepswithin。”
WhatthelinescouldrefertoIneitherhadanynotionnordidI
pausetheneveninmyownmindtoinquire。Ionlyremembervaguelywonderingwhethertheywereintendedforatombstoneorforadoorway。Then,continuingmyway,Irapidlydescendedthestepsandremountedmyhorse,gladtofindmyselfonceagainintheopenairandbymycousin’sside。
Thetrainofthoughtintowhichhehadsunkduringmyabsencewasapparentlyanabsorbingone,fortomyfirstquestionastothepaintedboardhecouldhardlyrousehimselftoanswer。”Aboardwithalegendwrittenonit?Yes,herememberedsomethingofthekindthere。Ithadalwaysbeenthere,hethought。Heknewnothingaboutit,”——andsothesubjectwasnotcontinued。
Theweirdfeelingswhichhadhauntedmeinthetowerstilloppressedme,andIproceededtoaskAlanaboutthatoldDameAlicewhomthetraditionsofmychildhoodrepresentedasthelastoccupantoftheruinedbuilding。Alanrousedhimselfnow,butdidnotseemanxioustoimpartinformationonthesubject。Shehadlivedthere,headmitted,andnoonehadlivedtheresince。”Hadshenot,”Iinquired,”somethingtodowiththemysteriouscabinetatthehouse?Irememberhearingitspokenofas’DameAlice’scabinet。’”Sotheysay,”heassented;”sheandanItalianartificerwhowasinherservice,andwho,chieflyIimagineonaccountofhisskill,sharedwithherthehonorofreputedwitchcraft。””ShewasthemotherofHughMervyn,themanwhowasmurderedbyhiswife,wasshenot?”Iasked。”Yes,”saidAlan,briefly。”Andhadshenotsomethingtodowiththecurse?”Iinquiredafterashortpause,andnervouslyIrememberedmyfather’sexperienceonthatsubject,andIhadneverbeforedaredtoalludetoitinthepresenceofanymemberofthefamily。Mynervousnesswasfullywarranted。ThegloomonAlan’sbrowdeepened,andafteraveryshort”Theysayso”heturnedfulluponme,andinquiredwithsomeasperitywhyonearthIhaddevelopedthissuddencuriosityabouthisancestress。
Ihesitatedamoment,forIwasalittleashamedofmyfancies;butthedarknessgavemecourage,andbesidesIwasnotafraidoftellingAlan——hewouldunderstand。ItoldhimofthestrangesensationsIhadhadwhileinthetower——sensationswhichhadstruckmewithallthatforceandclearnesswhichweusuallyassociatewithadirectexperienceoffact。”Ofcourseitwasatrickofimagination,”Icommented;”butIcouldnotgetridofthefeelingthatthepersonwhohaddwelttherelastmusthavehadterriblethoughtsforthecompanionsofherlife。”
Alanlistenedinsilence,andthesilencecontinuedforsometimeafterIhadceasedspeaking。”Itisstrange,”hesaidatlast;”instinctswhichwedonotunderstandformthemotive-powerofmostofourlife’sactions,andyetwerefusetoadmitthemasevidenceofanyexternaltruth。I
supposeitisbecauseweMUSTactsomehow,rightlyorwrongly;andthereareagreatmanythingswhichweneednotbelieveunlesswechoose。Asforthisoldlady,shelivedlong——longenough,likemostofus,todoevil;unlikemostofus,longenoughtowitnesssomeoftheresultsofthatevil。Tosaythat,istosaythatthelastyearsofherlifemusthavebeenweightedheavilyenoughwithtragicthought。”
Igavealittleshudderofrepulsion。”Thatisadepressingviewoflife,Alan,”Isaid。”Doesourpeaceofminddependonlyupondeathcomingearlyenoughtohidefromusthetruth?And,afterall,canit?Ourspiritsdonotdie。Fromanotherworldtheymaywitnessthefruitsofourlivesinthisone。””Iftheydo,”heansweredwithsuddenviolence,”itisabsurdtodoubttheexistenceofapurgatory。Theremustinsuchacasebeaterribleoneinstoreforthebestamongus。”
Iwassilent。Theshadowthatlayonhissouldidnotpenetratetomine,butithungroundmenevertheless,acloudwhichIfeltpowerlesstodisperse。
Afteramomenthewenton,——”Providedthattheyaredistantenough,howlittle,afterall,dowethinkoftheresultsofouractions!
Therearefewmenwhowoulddeliberatelyinstillintoachildaloveofdrink,orwilfullydeprivehimofhisreason;andyetamanwithdrunkennessormadnessinhisbloodthinksnothingofbringingchildrenintotheworldtaintedasdeeplywiththecurseasifhehadinoculatedthemwithitdirectly。Thereisnoresponsibilitysocompletelyignoredasthisoneofmarriageandfatherhood,andyethowheavyitisandfar-reaching。””Well,”Isaid,smiling,”letusconsoleourselveswiththethoughtthatwearenotalllunaticsanddrunkards。””No,”heanswered;”butthereareotherevilsbesidesthese,moraltaintsaswellasphysical,curseswhichhavetheirrootsinworldsbeyondourown,——sinsofthefatherswhicharevisiteduponthechildren。”
Hehadlostallviolenceandbitternessoftonenow;butthewearydejectionwhichhadtakentheirplacecommunicateditselftomyspiritwithmoresubtlepowerthanhispreviousmoodhadowned。”Thatiswhy,”hewenton,andhismannerseemedtogivemorepurposetohisspeechthanhitherto,——”thatiswhy,sofarasIamconcerned,Imeantoshirktheresponsibilityandremainunmarried。”
Iwashardlysurprisedathiswords。IfeltthatIhadexpectedthem,buttheirutteranceseemedtointensifythegloomwhichresteduponus。Alanwasthefirsttoarousehimselffromitsinfluence。”Afterall,”hesaid,turningroundtomeandspeakinglightly,”withoutlookingsofarandsodeep,Ithinkmyresolveisaprudentone。Aboveallthings,letustakelifeeasily,andyouknowwhatSt。Paulsaysabout’troubleintheflesh,’——aremarkwhichIamsureisspeciallyapplicabletobrieflessbarristers,eventhoughpossessedofamodestcompetenceoftheirown。Perhapsoneofthesedays,whenIamafatoldjudge,Ishallgivemycookachanceifsheissatisfactoryinherclearsoups;buttillthenI
shallexpectyou,Evie,toworkmeonepairofcarpet-slippersperannum,astributeduetoabachelorcousin。”
Idon’tquiteknowwhatIanswered,——myheartwasheavyandaching,——butItriedwithtruefemininedocilitytofollowtheleadhehadsetme。Hecontinuedforsometimeinthesamevein;butasweapproachedthehousetheeffortseemedtobecometoomuchforhim,andwerelapsedagainintosilence。
ThistimeIwasthefirsttobreakit。”Isuppose,”Isaid,drearily,”allthosehorridpeoplewillhavecomebynow。””Horridpeople,”herepeated,withratheranuncertainlaugh,andthroughthedarknessIsawhisfigurebendforwardashestretchedouthishandtocaressmyhorse’sneck。”Why,Evie,Ithoughtyouwerepiningforgayety,andthatitwas,infact,forthepurposeofmeetingthese’horridpeople’thatyoucamehere。””Yes,Iknow,”Isaid,wistfully;”butsomehowthelastweekhasbeensopleasantthatIcannotbelievethatanythingwilleverbequitesoniceagain。”
WehadarrivedatthehouseasIspoke,andthegroomwasstandingatourhorses’heads。Alangotoffandcameroundtohelpmetodismount;butinsteadofputtinguphisarmasusualasasupportformetospringfrom,helaidhishandonmine。”Yes,Evie,”hesaid,”ithasbeenindeedapleasanttime。Godblessyouforit。”
Foraninstanthestoodtherelookingupatme,hisfacefullinthelightwhichstreamedfromtheopendoor,hisgrayeyesshiningwitharadiancewhichwasnotwhollyfromthence。Thenhestraightenedhisarm,Isprangtotheground,andasiftoprecludethepossibilityofanyansweronmypart,heturnedsharplyonhisheel,andbegangivingsomeorderstothegroom。Iwentonaloneintothehouse,feeling,Iknewnotandcarednottoknowwhy,thatthegloomhadfledfrommyspirit,andthatthelastridehadnotafterallbeensuchamelancholyfailureasithadbidfairatonetimetobecome。
III
InthehallIwasmetbythehousekeeper,whoinformedmethat,owingtoamisunderstandingaboutdates,agentlemanhadarrivedwhomLucyhadnotexpectedatthattime,andthatinconsequencemyroomhadbeenchanged。MythingshadbeenputintotheEastRoom,——
thehauntedroom,——theroomoftheClosedCabinet,asIrememberedwithacertainsenseofpleasedimportance,thoughwithoutanysurprise。Itstoodapartfromtheotherguest-rooms,attheendofthepassagefromwhichopenedGeorgeandLucy’sprivateapartment;
andasitwasconsequentlydisagreeabletohaveastrangerthere,itwasalwaysusedwhenthehousewasfullforamemberofthefamily。Myfatherandmotherhadoftensleptthere:therewasalittleroomnexttoit,thoughnotcommunicatingwithit,whichservedforadressing-room。ThoughIhadneverpassedthenighttheremyself,Iknewitaswellasanyroominthehouse。Iwentthereatonce,andfoundLucysuperintendingthelastarrangementsformycomfort。
Shewasfullofapologiesforthetroubleshewasgivingme。I
toldherthattheapologieswereduetomymaidandtoherownservantsratherthantome;”andbesides,”Iadded,glancinground,”Iamdistinctlyagainerbythechange。””Youknow,ofcourse,”shesaid,lightly,”thatthisisthehauntedroomofthehouse,andthatyouhavenorighttobehere?””Iknowitisthehauntedroom,”Ianswered;”butwhyhaveInorighttobehere?””Oh,Idon’tknow,”shesaid。”ThereisoneofthosetiresomeMervyntraditionsagainstallowingunmarriedgirlstosleepinthisroom。Ibelievetwogirlsdiedinitahundredandfiftyyearsago,orsomethingofthatsort。””ButIshouldthinkthatpeople,marriedorunmarried,musthavediedinnearlyeveryroominthehouse,”Iobjected。”Oh,yes,ofcoursetheyhave,”saidLucy;”butonceyoucomeacrossabitofsuperstitioninthisfamily,itisofnousetoaskforreasons。However,thisparticularbitistooridiculousevenforGeorge。OwingtoMr。Lesliehavingcometo-day,wemustuseeveryroominthehouse:itisintolerablehavingastrangerhere,andyouaretheonlyrelationstayingwithus。IpointedallthatouttoGeorge,andheagreedthat,underthecircumstances,itwouldbeabsurdnottoputyouhere。””Iamquiteagreeable,”Ianswered;”and,indeed,IthinkIamratherfavoredinhavingaroomwherethelastrecordeddeathappearstohavetakenplaceahundredandfiftyyearsago,particularlyasIshouldthinkthattherecanbescarcelyanythingnowleftinitwhichwasherethen,except,ofcourse,thecabinet。”
Theroomhad,infact,beenentirelydoneupandrefurnishedbymyuncle,andwasasbrightandmodern-lookinganapartmentasyoucouldwishtosee。Itwaslarge,andthewallswerecoveredwithoneofthosewhiteandgoldpaperswhichwerefashionablethirtyyearsago。Oppositeus,aswestoodwarmingourbacksbeforethefire,wasthebed——alargedoubleone,hungwithaprettyshadeofpaleblue。Materialofthesamecolorcoveredthecomfortablemodernfurniture,andhungfromgildedcornicesbeforethetwowindowswhichpiercedthesideoftheroomonourleft。Betweenthemstoodthetoilet-table,allmuslin,blueribbons,andsilver。
ThecarpetwasagrayandblueBrusselsone。Thewholeeffectwascheerful,thoughIfearinartistic,andsadlyoutofkeepingwiththecharacterofthehouse。Theexceptiontotheseremarkswas,asIhadobserved,thefamousclosedcabinet,towhichIhavemorethanoncealluded。Itstoodagainstthesamewalloftheroomasthatinwhichthefireplacewas,andonourright——thatis,onthatsideofthefireplacewhichwasfarthestfromthewindows。AsI
spoke,Iturnedtogoandlookatit,andLucyfollowedme。ManyanhourasachildhadIpassedinfrontofit,fingeringthesevencarvedbrasshandles,orratherbuttons,whichwererangeddownitscenter。Theyallslid,twisted,orscrewedwiththegreatestease,andapparentlylikemanyanotheringeniouslycontrivedlock;butneitherInoranyoneelsehadeveryetsucceededinsliding,twisting,orscrewingthemaftersuchafashionastoopenthecloseddoorsofthecabinet。NooneyethadrobbedthemoftheirsecretsincefirstitwasplacedtherethreehundredyearsagobytheoldladyandherfaithfulItalian。Itwasabeautifulpieceofworkmanship,wasthistantalizingcabinet。Carvedoutofsomedarkforeignwood,thedoorsandpanelswererichlyinlaidwithlapis-
lazuli,ivory,andmother-of-pearl,amongwhichweretwisteddelicatelychasedthreadsofgoldandsilver。Abovethedoors,betweenthemandthecornice,layanothermystery,fullyastormentingaswasthefirst。Inasmoothstripofwoodaboutaninchwide,andextendingalongthewholebreadthofthecabinet,wasinlaidafinepatterningoldwire。Thisatfirstsightseemedtoconsistofalegendormotto。Onlookingcloser,however,thoughthepatternstilllookedasifitwasformedoutofcharactersofthealphabetcuriouslyentwinedtogether,youfoundyourselfunabletofixuponanydefiniteword,orevenletter。Youlookedagainandagain,andthelongerthatyoulookedthemorecertainbecameyourbeliefthatyouwereonthevergeofdiscovery。
Ifyoucouldapproachthemysteriouslegendfromaslightlydifferentpointofview,orlookatitfromanotherdistance,theclewtothepuzzlewouldbeseized,andthewordswouldstandforthclearandlegibleinyoursight。Buttheclewneverhadbeendiscovered,andthemotto,iftherewasone,remainedunread。
Forafewminuteswestoodlookingatthecabinetinsilence,andthenLucygaveadiscontentedlittlesigh。”There’sanothertiresomepieceofsuperstition,”sheexclaimed;”byfarthehandsomestpieceoffurnitureinthehousestuckawayhereinabedroomwhichishardlyeverused。AgainandagainhaveIaskedGeorgetoletmehaveitmoveddownstairs,buthewon’thearofit。””WasitnotplacedherebyDameAliceherself?”Iinquiredalittlereproachfully,forIfeltthatLucywasnottreatingthecabinetwiththerespectwhichitreallydeserved。”Yes,sotheysay,”sheanswered;andthetoneoflightcontemptinwhichshespokewasnowpiercedbyanotunnaturalprideintheromanticmysteriesofherhusband’sfamily。”Sheplacedithere,anditissaid,youknow,thatwhentheclosedcabinetisopened,andthemysteriousmottoisread,thecursewilldepartfromtheMervynfamily。””Butwhydon’ttheybreakitopen?”Iasked,impatiently。”IamsurethatIwouldneverhaveremainedallmylifeinahousewithathinglikethat,andnotfoundoutinsomewayoranotherwhatwasinsideit。””Oh,butthatwouldbequitefatal,”answeredshe。”ThecursecanonlyberemovedwhenthecabinetisopenedasDameAliceintendedittobe,inanorthodoxfashion。Ifyouweretoforceitopen,thatcouldneverhappen,andthecursewouldthereforeremainforever。””Andwhatisthecurse?”Iasked,withverydifferentfeelingstothosewithwhichIhadtimidlyapproachedthesamesubjectwithAlan。LucywasnotaMervyn,andnotapersontoinspireaweunderanycircumstances。Myinstinctswererightagain,forsheturnedawaywithaslightshrugofhershoulders。”Ihavenoidea,”shesaid。”GeorgeandAlanalwayslookportentouslysolemnandgloomywheneveronementionsthesubject,soIdon’t。Ifyouaskmeforthetruth,Ibelieveittobeapureinvention,devisedbytheMervynsforthepurposeofdelicatelyaccountingforsomeofthedisreputableactionsoftheirancestors。
Foryouknow,Evie,”sheadded,withalittlelaugh,”thelesssaidaboutthecharacterofthefamilyintowhichyourauntandIhavemarriedthebetter。”
Theremarkmademeangry,Idon’tknowwhy,andIansweredstiffly,thatasfarasIwasacquaintedwiththem,Iatleastsawnothingtocomplainof。”Oh,asregardsthepresentgeneration,no,——exceptforthatpoor,wretchedJack,”acquiescedLucy,withherusualimperturbablegood-
humor。”Andasregardsthenext?”Isuggested,smiling,andalreadyashamedofmylittletemper。”Thenextisperfect,ofcourse,——poordearboys。”Shesighedasshespoke,andIwonderedwhethershewasreallyasunconsciousasshegenerallyappearedtobeofthestrangedissatisfactionwithwhichherhusbandseemedtoregardhischildren。Anyhowthementionofthemhadevidentlychangedhermood,andalmostdirectlyafterwards,withtheremarkthatshemustgoandlookafterherguests,whohadallarrivedbynow,sheleftmetomyself。
ForsomeminutesIsatbythebrightfire,lostinaimless,wanderingthought,whichbeganwithDameAliceandhercabinet,andwhichendedsomehowwithAlan’sface,asIhadlastseenitlookingupatmeinfrontofthehall-door。WhenIhadreachedthatpoint,IrousedmyselftodecidethatIhaddreamtlongenough,andthatitwasquitetimetogodowntotheguestsandtotea。I
accordinglydonnedmybestteagown,arrangedmyhair,andproceededtowardsthedrawing-room。Mywaytherelaythroughthegreatcentralhall。Thisapartmentwasapproachedfrommostofthebedroomsinthehousethroughalarge,archeddoorwayatoneendofit,whichcommunicateddirectlywiththegreatstaircase。Mybedroom,however,which,asIhavesaid,layamongtheprivateapartmentsofthehouse,openedintoapassagewhichledintoabroadgallery,orupperchamber,stretchingrightacrosstheendofthehall。Fromthisyoudescendedbymeansofasmallstaircaseinoak,whosecarvedbalustrade,bendingroundthecornerofthehall,formedoneoftheprettiestfeaturesofthepicturesqueoldroom。
Thebarrierwhichranalongthefrontofthegallerywasinsolidoak,andofsuchaheightthat,unlessstandingcloseuptoit,youcouldneitherseenorbeseenbytheoccupantsoftheroombelow。
OnapproachingthisgalleryIheardvoicesinthehall。TheywereGeorge’sandAlan’s,evidentlyinhotdiscussion。AsIissuedfromthepassage,Georgewasspeaking,andhisvoicehadthatexasperatedtoneinwhichanangrymantriestobringtoacloseanargumentinwhichhehaslosthistemper。”Forheaven’ssakeleaveitalone,Alan;Ineithercannorwillinterfere。Wehaveenoughtobearfromthesecursedtraditionsasitis,withoutaddingonewhichhasnofoundationwhatevertojustifyit——amerecontemptiblepieceofsuperstition。””Nomemberofourfamilyhasarighttocallanytraditioncontemptiblewhichisconnectedwiththatplace,andyouknowit,”
answeredAlan;andthoughhespokelow,hisvoicetrembledwithsomestrongemotion。AfirstimpulseofhesitationwhichIhadhadIchecked,feelingthatasIhadheardsomuchitwasfairertogoon,andIadvancedtothetopofthestaircase。Alanstoodbythefireplacefacingme,butfartoooccupiedtoseeme。HislastspeechhadseeminglyarousedGeorgetofury,forthelatterturnedonhimnowwithsavagepassion。”Damnitall,Alan!”hecried,”can’tyoubequiet?Iwillbemasterinmyownhouse。Takecare,Itellyou;thecursemaynotbequitefulfilledyetafterall。”
AsGeorgeutteredthesewords,Alanliftedhiseyestohimwithaglanceofawfulhorror:hisfaceturnedghastlywhite;hislipstrembledforamoment;andthenheansweredbackwithonehalf-
whisperedwordofsupremeappeal——”George!”Therewasalong-
drawn,unutterableanguishinhistone,andhisvoice,thoughscarcelyaudible,penetratedtoeverycorneroftheroom,andseemedtohangquiveringintheairaroundoneafterthesoundhadceased。Thentherewasaterriblestillness。Alanstoodtremblingineverylimb,incapableapparentlyofspeechoraction,andGeorgefacedhim,assilentandmotionlessashewas。Foraninstanttheyremainedthus,whileIlookedbreathlesslyon。ThenGeorge,withamutteredimprecation,turnedonhisheelandlefttheroom。Alanfollowedhimashewentwithdulllifelesseyes;andasthedoorclosedhebreatheddeeply,withabreaththatwasalmostagroan。
Takingmycourageinbothhands,Inowdescendedthestairs,andatthesoundofmyfootfallheglancedup,started,andthencamerapidlytomeetme。”Evie!youhere,”hesaid;”Ididnotnoticeyou。Howlonghaveyoubeenhere?”Hewasstillquitewhite,andInoticedthathepantedforbreathashespoke。”Notlong,”Ianswered,timidly,andratherspasmodically;”Ionlyheardasentenceortwo。YouwantedGeorgetodosomethingaboutsometraditionorother,——andhewasangry,——andhesaidsomethingaboutthecurse。”
WhileIspokeAlankepthiseyesfixedonmine,readingthroughthem,asIknew,intomymind。WhenIhadfinishedheturnedhisgazeawaysatisfied,andansweredveryquietly,”Yes,thatwasit。”
Thenhewentbacktothefireplace,restedhisarmagainstthehighmantelpieceaboveit,andleaninghisforeheadonhisarm,remainedsilentlylookingintothefire。Icouldseebyhisbentbrowandcompressedlipsthathewasengageduponsomeearnesttrainofthoughtorreasoning,andIstoodwaiting——worried,puzzled,curious,butaboveallthings,pitiful,andoh!longingsointenselytohelphimifIcould。Presentlyhestraightenedhimselfalittle,andaddressedmemoreinhisordinarytoneofvoice,thoughwithoutlookinground。”SoIheartheyhavechangedyourroom。””Yes,”Ianswered。Andthen,flushingrather,”IsthatwhatyouandGeorgehavebeenquarrelingabout?”Ireceivednoreply,andtakingthissilenceforassent,Iwentondeprecatingly,”Becauseyouknow,ifitwas,Ithinkyouareratherfoolish,Alan。AsI
understand,twogirlsaresaidtohavediedinthatroommorethanahundredyearsago,andforthatreasonthereisaprejudiceagainstputtingagirltosleepthere。Thatisall。Merelyavague,unreasonabletradition。”
Alantookamomenttoanswer。”Yes,”hesaidatlength,speakingslowly,andasifreplyingtoargumentsinhisownmindasmuchastothosewhichIhaduttered。”Yes,itisnothingbutatraditionafterall,andthatoftheveryvaguestandmostunsupportedkind。””Isthereevenanyproofthatgirlshavenotslepttheresincethosetwodied?”Iasked。Ithinkthatthesuggestionconveyedinthisquestionwasarelieftohim,forafteramoment’spause,asiftosearchhismemory,heturnedround。”No,”heanswered,”Idon’tthinkthatthereisanysuchproof;andIhavenodoubtthatyouareright,andthatitisamereprejudicethatmakesmedislikeyoursleepingthere。””Then,”Isaid,withalittleassumptionofsisterlysuperiority,”IthinkGeorgewasright,andthatyouwerewrong。”
Alansmiled,——asmiledwhichsatoddlyonthestillpaleface,andinthewearied,worn-lookingeyes。”Verylikely,”hesaid;”I
daresaythatIamsuperstitious。Ihavehadthingstomakemeso。”
Thencomingnearertome,andlayinghishandsonmyshoulders,hewenton,smilingmorebrightly,”Weareaqueer-tempered,bad-
nervedrace,weMervyns,andyoumustnottakeustooseriously,Evie。Thebestthingthatyoucandowithouroddwaysistoignorethem。””Oh,Idon’tmind,”Ianswered,laughing,toogladtohavewonhimbacktoeventemporarybrightness,”aslongasyouandGeorgedon’tcometoblowsoverthequestionofwhereIamtosleep;whichafterallischieflymyconcern,——andLucy’s。””Well,perhapsitis,”hereplied,inthesametone;”andnowbeofftothedrawing-room,whereLucyisdefendingthetea-tablesingle-handedallthistime。”
Iobeyed,andshouldhavegonemorecheerfullyhadInotturnedatthedoorwaytolookbackathim,andcaughtoneglimpseofhisfaceashesankheavilydownintothelargearm-chairbythefireside。
However,bydinner-timeheappearedtohavedismissedallpainfulreflectionsfromhismind,ortohaveburiedthemtoodeepfordiscovery。Thepeoplestayinginthehousewere,inspiteofmysenseofgrievanceattheirarrival,individuallypleasant,andafterdinnerIdiscoveredthemtobesociallywellassorted。Forthefirsthourortwo,indeed,aftertheirarrival,eachglaredattheotheracrossthosetriplelinesofmoralfortificationbehindwhicheverywell-bredBritontakesrefugeonappearingatafriend’scountry-house。Butflagsoftrucewereinterchangedoverthesoup,anarmisticewasagreeduponduringtheroast,andthetermsofatreatyofpeaceandamitywerefinallyratifiedunderthesympatheticinfluenceofGeorge’sbestchampagne。FortheachievementofthishappyresultAlancertainlyworkedhard,andreceivedthereformanyagratefulglancefromhissister-in-law。
HewasmoreexcitedthanIhadeverseenhimbefore,andtalkedbrilliantlyandwell——thoughperhapsnotasexclusivelytohisneighborsastheymayhavewished。Hiseyesandhisattentionseemedeverywhereatonce:onemomenthewasthrowingremarksacrosstosomedespairingcoupleopposite,andthenexthewasbreakinganembarrassingpauseintheconversationbysomerapidsallyofnonsenseaddressedtothetableingeneral。Heformedagreatcontrasttohisbrother,whosatgloomyanddejected,makinglittleornoresponsetotheadvancesofthetwodowagersbetweenwhomhewasplaced。AfterdinnertheyoungermembersofthepartyspenttheeveningbyAlan’sinitiative,andchieflyunderhisdirection,inaseriesoflivelyandratherriotousgamessuchasmynurserydayshaddelightedin,andmyschoolroomoneshaddisdained。Itwasagreatandhappysurprisetodiscoverthat,grownup,Imightagainenjoythem。Ididso,hugely,andwhenbedtimecameallmemoriesmoreseriousthanthoseof”musicalchairs”or”followmyleader”hadvanishedfrommymind。Ithink,fromAlan’sglanceashehandedmemybedcandle,thatthepleasureandexcitementmusthaveimprovedmylooks。”Ihopeyouhaveenjoyedyourfirsteveningofgayety,Evie,”hesaid。”Ihave,”Ianswered,withhappyconviction;”andreallyIbelievethatitischieflyowingtoyou,Alan。”Hemetmysmilebyanother;butIthinkthattheremusthavebeensomethinginhislookwhichrecalledotherthoughts,forasIstartedupthestairsIthrewamischievousglancebackathimandwhispered,”Nowforthehorrorsofthehauntedchamber。”
Helaughedratherloudly,andsaying”Good-night,andgood-luck,”
turnedtoattendtotheotherladies。
Hiswisheswerecertainlyfulfilled。Igottobedquickly,and——assoonasmyhappyexcitementwassufficientlycalmedtoadmitofit——
tosleep。Theonlythingwhichdisturbedmewasthewind,whichblewfiercelyandloudlyalltheearlierportionofthenight,halfarousingmemorethanonce。Ispokeofitatbreakfastthenextmorning;buttherestoftheworldseemedtohaveslepttooheavilytohavebeenawareofit。
IV
Themenwentoutshootingdirectlyafterbreakfast,andwewomenpassedthedayinorthodoxcountry-housefashion,——workingandeating;walkingandriding;drivingandplayingcroquet;andabove,beyond,andthroughallthings,chattering。BeyondapassingsighwhileIwaswashingmyhands,oramomentofmournfulremembrancewhileIchangedmydress,Ihadscarcelytimeeventoregretthequiethappinessoftheweekthatwaspast。Intheeveningwedancedinthegreathall。IhadtwovalseswithAlan。Duringapauseforbreath,Ifoundthatwewerestandingnearthefireplace,ontheveryspotwhereheandGeorgehadstoodonthepreviousafternoon。Therecollectionmademeinvoluntarilyglanceupathisface。Itlookedsadandworried,andthethoughtsuddenlystruckmethathisextravagantspiritsofthenightbefore,andevenhisquieter,carefulcheerfulnessofto-night,hadbeenbutartificialmoodsatbest。Heturned,andfindingmyeyesfixedonhim,atonceplungedintoconversation,discussedthepeculiaritiesofoneoftheguests,good-humoredlyenough,butwithsomuchfunastomakemelaughinspiteofmyself。Thenwedancedagain。Theplaintivemusic,thesmoothfloor,andthepartnerwereallalikeperfect,andIexperiencedthatentiredelightofphysicalenjoymentwhichIbelievenothingbutavalseundersuchcircumstancescangive。WhenitwasoverIturnedtoAlan,andexclaimedwithimpulsiveappeal,”Oh,Iamsohappy,——youmustbehappytoo!”Hesmiledratheruncertainly,andanswered,”Don’tbotheryourselfaboutme,Evie,Iamallright。ItoldyouthatweMervynshadbadnerves;andIamrathertired。That’sall。”Iwastoopassionatelydeterminedjustthenuponhappiness,andhiswastoonecessarytomineformenottobelievethathewasspeakingthetruth。
WekeptupthedancingtillLucydiscoveredwithashockthatmidnighthadstruck,andthatSundayhadbegun,andwewereallsentofftobed。Iwasnotlonginmakingmynightlypreparations,andhadscarcelyinsertedmyselfbetweenthesheetswhen,withafewlongmoans,thewindbeganagain,moreviolentlyeventhanthenightbefore。Ithadbeenacalm,fineday,andImadewisereflectionsasIlistenedupontheuncertaintyofthenorth-countryclimate。Whatatempestitwas!Howitmoaned,andhowled,andshrieked!WherehadIheardthesuperstitionwhichnowcametomymind,thatborneuponthewindcomethespiritsofthedrowned,wailingandcryingforthesepulturewhichhadbeendeniedthem?
Buttherewereothersoundsinthatwind,too。Evil,murderousthoughts,perhaps,whichhadnevertakenbodyindeeds,butwhich,caughtupintheair,nowhurledthemselvesinimpotentfurythroughtheworld。HowIwishedthewindwouldstop。Itseemedfullofhorriblefancies,anditkeptknockingthemintomyhead,anditwouldn’tleaveoff。Fancies,ormemories——which?——andmymindrevertedwithaflashtothefearfulthoughtswhichhadhaunteditthedaybeforeinDameAlice’stower。Itwasdarknow。
Thoseghastlyintangibleshapesmusthavetakenfullformandcolor,peoplingtheoldruinwiththeiragelesshideousness。Andthestormhadfoundthemthereandbornethemalongwithitasitblewthroughthecrevicedwalls。Thatwaswhythewind’ssoundstrucksostrangelyonmybrain。Ah!Icouldhearthemnow,thosestilllivingmemoriesofdeadhorror。Throughthewindowcranniestheycameshriekingandwailing。Theyfilledthechimneywithspiritsobs,andnowtheywerepressingon,crowdingthroughtheroom,——eager,eagertoreachtheirprey。Nearertheycame;——nearerstill!Theywereroundmybednow!ThroughmyclosedeyelidsI
couldalmostseetheirdreadfulshapes;inallmyquiveringfleshI
felttheirterrorsastheybentoverme,——lower,lower……
WithastartIarousedmyselfandsatup。WasIasleeporawake?
Iwastremblingalloverstill,anditrequiredthegreatesteffortofcourageIhadevermadetoenablemetospringfrommybedandstrikealight。Whatastatemynervesormydigestionmustbein!
Frommychildhoodthewindhadalwaysaffectedmestrangely,andI
blamedmyselfnowforallowingmyimaginationtorunawaywithmeatthefirst。IfoundanovelwhichIhadbroughtuptomyroomwithme,oneofthemodern,Chinese-Americanschool,wherehumannatureisanalyzedwiththepatient,industriousindifferenceofthetrueCelestial。Itookthebooktobedwithme,andsoonunderitssoothinginfluencesfellasleep。Idreamtagooddeal,——
nightmares,thedefiniterecollectionofwhich,asissooftenthecase,vanishedfrommymindassoonasIawoke,leavingonlyavagueimpressionofhorror。Theyhadbeenconnectedwiththewind,ofthataloneIwasconscious,andIwentdowntobreakfast,maliciouslyhopingthatothers’resthadbeenasmuchdisturbedasmyown。
Tomysurprise,however,IfoundthatIhadagainbeentheonlysufferer。Indeed,soimpressedweremostofthepartywiththequietinwhichtheirnighthadbeenpassed,thattheyboldlydeclaredmystormtohavebeenthecreatureofmydreams。Thereisnothingmoreannoyingwhenyoufeelyourselfaggrievedbyfatethantobetoldthatyourtroubleshaveoriginatedinyourownfancy;soIdroppedthesubject。Thoughthediscussionspreadforafewminutesroundthewholetable,Alantooknopartinit。NeitherdidGeorge,exceptforwhatIthoughtaratherunnecessarilyroughexpressionofhisdisbeliefinthecauseofmynight’sdisturbance。
AswerosefrombreakfastIsawAlanglancetowardshisbrother,andmakeamovement,evidentlywiththepurposeofspeakingtohim。
WhetherornotGeorgewasawareofthelookoraction,Icannotsay;butatthesamemomenthemaderapidlyacrosstheroomtowhereoneofhisprincipalguestswasstanding,andatonceengagedhiminconversation。Soearnestlyandsovolublywasheborneon,thattheywerestilltalkingtogetherwhenweladiesappearedagainsomeminuteslater,preparedforourwalktochurch。ThatwasnottheonlyoccasionduringthedayonwhichIwitnessedasIthoughtthesameby-playgoingon。AgainandagainAlanappearedtobemakingeffortstoengageGeorgeinprivateconversation,andagainandagainthelattersuccessfullyeludedhim。
Thechurchwasaboutamileawayfromthehouse,andasLucydidnotlikehavingthecarriagesoutonaSunday,oneserviceaweekasarulecontentedthehousehold。IntheafternoonwetooktheusualSundaywalk。Onreturningfromit,Ihadjusttakenoffmyoutdoorthings,andwasissuingfrommybedroom,whenIfoundmyselffacetofacewithAlan。HewascomingoutofGeorge’sstudy,andhadsucceededapparentlyinobtainingthatinterviewforwhichhehadbeenalldayseeking。Oneglanceathisfacetoldmewhatitsnaturehadbeen。Wepausedoppositeeachotherforamoment,andhelookedatmeearnestly。”Areyougoingtochurch?”heinquiredatlast,abruptly。”No,”Ianswered,withsomesurprise。”Ididnotknowthatanyonewasgoingthisevening。””Willyoucomewithme?””Yes,certainly;ifyoudon’tmindwaitingamomentformetoputmythingson。””There’splentyoftime,”heanswered;”meetmeinthehall。”
Afewminuteslaterwestarted。
Itwasacalm,cloudlessnight,andalthoughthemoonwasnotyethalf-full,andalreadypasthermeridian,shefilledtheclearairwithgentlelight。Notawordbrokeoursilence。Alanwalkedhurriedly,lookingstraightbeforehim,hisheadupright,hislipstwitchingnervously,whileeverynowandthenahalf-utteredmoanescapedunconsciouslyfrombetweenthem。AtlastIcouldbearitnolonger,andburstforthwiththefirstremarkwhichoccurredtome。Wewerepassingabig,black,queer-shapedstonestandinginratheralonelyuncultivatedspotatoneendofthegarden。Itwasanoldacquaintanceofmychildhood;butmythoughtshadbeenturnedtowardsitnowfromthefactthatIcouldseeitfrommybedroomwindow,andhadbeenstruckafreshbyitsuncouth,incongruousappearance。”Isn’ttheresomestoryconnectedwiththatstone?”Iasked。”I
rememberthatwealwayscalledittheDeadStoneaschildren。”
Alancastaquick,sidelongglanceinthatdirection,andhisbrowscontractedinanirritablefrown。”Idon’tknow,”heansweredshortly;”theysaythatthereisawomanburiedbeneathit,I
believe。””Awomanburiedthere!”Iexclaimedinsurprise;”butwho?””HowshouldIknow?Theyknownothingwhateveraboutit。Theplaceisfullofstupidtraditionsofthatkind。”Then,lookingsuspiciouslyroundatme,”Whydoyouask?””Idon’tknow;itwasjustsomethingtosay,”Iansweredplaintively。Hisstrangemoodsoworkeduponmynerves,thatitwasallthatIcoulddotorestrainmytears。Ithinkthatmytonestruckhisconscience,forhemadeafewfeverishattemptsatconversationafterthat。Buttheyweresoentirelyabortivethathesoonabandonedtheeffort,andwefinishedourwalktochurchasspeechlesslyaswehadbegunit。
Theservicewasbright,andthesermonperhapsalittlecommonplace,butsensibleasitseemedtomeinmatter,andadequateinstyle。Thepeacefuleveninghymnwhichfollowed,theshortsolemnpauseofsilentprayerattheend,soothedandrefreshedmyspirit。Ahastyglanceatmycompanion’sfaceashestoodwaitingformeintheporch,withthefulllightfromthechurchstreamingroundhim,assuredmethatthesameinfluencehadtouchedhimtoo。Haggardandsadhestilllooked,itistrue;buthisfeatureswerecomposed,andtheexpressionofactualpainhadlefthiseyes。
Silentaswehadcomewestartedhomewardthroughthewaningmoonlight,butthissilencewasofaverydifferentnaturetotheother,andafteraminuteortwoIdidnothesitatetobreakit。”Itwasagoodsermon?”Iobserved,interrogatively。”Yes,”heassented,”Isupposeyouwouldcallitso;butIconfessthatIshouldhavefoundthetextmoreimpressivewithoutitsexposition。””Poorman!””Butdon’tyouoftenfinditso?”heasked。”Doyounotoftenwish,totakethisevening’sinstance,thatclergymenwouldinfusethemselveswithsomethingofSt。Paul’sownspirit?Thenperhapstheywouldnotwaterallthestrengthoutofhiswordsintheireffortstoexplainthem。””Thatisratheralargedemandtomakeuponthem,isitnot?””Isit?”hequestioned。”Idon’taskthemtobeinspiredsaints。
Idon’texpectSt。Paul’sbreadthanddepthofthought。Butcouldtheynothavesomethingofhisvigorouscompleteness,somethingoftheintensityofhisfeelingandbelief?Lookatthetextofto-
night。Didnotthepreacher’sexamplesandapplicationstakesomethingfromitsawfulunqualifiedstrength?””Awful!”Iexclaimed,insurprise;”thatishardlytheexpressionI
shouldhaveusedinconnectionwiththosewords。””Whynot?””Oh,Idon’tknow。Thetextisverybeautiful,ofcourse,andattimes,whenpeoplearetiresomeandoneoughttobenicetothem,itisverydifficulttoactupto。But——””Butyouthinkthat’awful’isratherabigadjectivetouseforsosmalladuty,”interposedAlan,andthemoonlightshowedtheflickerofasmileuponhisface。Thenhecontinued,gravely,”I
doubtwhetheryouyourselfrealizethefullimportofthewords。
Thepreceptofcharityisnotmerelyacodeofrulesbywhichtoorderourconducttoourneighbors;itisthepictureofaspiritualcondition,andsuch,whereitexistsinus,mustbyitsverynatureberousedintoactivitybyanythingthataffectsus。
Sowiththisparticularinjunction,everycircumstanceinourlivesisachallengetoit,andinpresenceofallalikeitadmitsofoneattitudeonly:’Bearethallthings,endurethallthings。’Ihopeitwillbelongbeforethat’all’sticksinyourgizzard,Evie,——
beforeyoucomefacetofacewiththingswhichnaturecannotbear,andyetwhichmustbeborne。”
Hestopped,hisvoicequivering;andthenafterapausewentonagainmorecalmly,”Andthroughoutitisthesame。Moralpreceptseverywhere,whichwilladmitofnocompromise,nolimitation,andyetwhichareatwarwithourstrongestpassions。Ifonecouldonlyinterposesome’unless,’some’except,’evenan’until,’whichshouldbeshortofthegrave。Butwecannot。Thelawisinfinite,universal,eternal;thereisnoescape,norepose。Resist,strive,endure,thatistherecurringcry;thatisexistence。””Andpeace,”Iexclaimed,appealingly。”Whereisthereroomforpeace,ifthatbetrue?”
Hesighedforanswer,andtheninachangedandlowertoneadded,”Howeverthicklythecloudsmass,howevervainlywesearchforacomingglimmerintheirmidst,weneverdoubtthattheskyISstillbeyond——beyondandaroundus,infiniteandinfinitelyrestful。”
Heraisedhiseyesashespoke,andminefollowedhis。Wehadenteredthewoodedglen。Throughthescantyautumnfoliagewecouldseethestarsshiningfaintlyinthedimmoonlight,andbeyondthemthedeepillimitableblue。Adarkworlditlooked,distantandmysterious,andmyyoungspiritrebelledattheconsolationofferedme。”Peaceseemsalongwayoff,”Iwhispered。”Itisforme,”heanswered,gently;”notnecessarilyforyou。””Oh,butIamworseandweakerthanyouare。Iflifeistobeallwarfare,Imustbebeaten。Icannotalwaysbefighting。””Cannotyou?Evie,whatIhavebeensayingistrueofeverymorallawworthhaving,ofeveryidealoflifeworthstrivingafter,thatmenhaveyetconceived。ButitisonlyhalfthetruthofChristianity。Youknowthat。Wemuststrive,forthepromiseistohimthatovercometh;butthoughouraimbeevenhigherthanisthatofothers,wecannotintheendfailtoreachit。ThevictoryoftheCrossisours。Youknowthat?Youbelievethat?””Yes”Ianswered,softly,toosurprisedtosaymore。Inspeakingofreligionhe,asarule,showedtothefullthereservewhichischaracteristicofhisclassandcountry,andthissuddenoutburstwasinitselfastonishing;buttheeageranxietywithwhichheemphasizedthelastwordsofappealimpressedandbewilderedmestillfurther。Wewalkedonforsomeminutesinsilence。ThensuddenlyAlanstopped,andturning,tookmyhandinhis。InwhatdirectionhismindhadbeenworkingintheintervalIcouldnotdivine;butthemomenthebegantospeakIfeltthathewasnowforthefirsttimegivingutterancetowhathadbeenreallyatthebottomofhisthoughtsthewholeevening。EveninthatdimlightI
couldseetheanxiouslookuponhisface,andhisvoiceshookwithrestrainedemotion。”Evie,”hesaid,”haveyoueverthoughtoftheworldinwhichourspiritsdwell,asourbodiesdointhisoneofmatterandsense,andofhowitmaybepeopled?Iknow,”hewentonhurriedly,”thatitisthefashionnowadaystolaughatsuchideas。Ienvythosewhohaveneverhadcausetobeconvincedoftheirreality,andI
hopethatyoumaylongremainamongthenumber。Butshouldthatnotbeso,shouldthoseunseeninfluencesevertouchyourlife,I
wantyoutorememberthen,that,asoneoftheraceforwhomChristdied,youhaveashighacitizenshipinthatspiritlandasanycreaturethere:thatyouareyourownsoul’swarden,andthatneitherprincipalitiesnorpowerscanrobyouofthatyourbirthright。”
Ithinkmyfacemusthaveshownmybewilderment,forhedroppedmyhand,andwalkedonwithanimpatientsigh。”Youdon’tunderstandme。Whyshouldyou?Idare-saythatIamtalkingnonsense——only——only——”
HisvoiceexpressedsuchanagonyofdoubtandhesitationthatI
burstout——”IthinkthatIdounderstandyoualittle,Alan。Youmeanthatevenfromunearthlyenemiesthereisnothingthatweneedreallyfear——atleast,thatis,Isuppose,nothingworsethandeath。Butthatissurelyenough!””Whyshouldyoufeardeath?”hesaid,abruptly;”yoursoulwilllive。””Yes,Iknowthat,butstill——”Istoppedwithashudder。”Whatislifeafterallbutonelongdeath?”hewenton,withsuddenviolence。”Ourpleasures,ourhopes,ouryoutharealldying;ambitiondies,andevendesireatlast;ourpassionsandtasteswilldie,orwillliveonlytomourntheirdeadopportunity。
Thehappinessoflovedieswiththelossoftheloved,and,worstofall,loveitselfgrowsoldinourheartsanddies。Whyshouldweshrinkonlyfromtheonedeathwhichcanfreeusfromalltheothers?””Itisnottrue,Alan!”Icried,hotly。”Whatyousayisnottrue。
Therearemanythingsevenherewhicharelivingandshalllive;
andifitwereotherwise,ineverything,lifethatendsindeathisbetterthannolifeatall。””Yousaythat,”heanswered,”becauseforyouthesethingsareyetliving。Toleavelifenow,therefore,whileitisfullandsweet,untaintedbydeath,surelythatisnotafatetofear。Better,athousandtimesbetter,toseethecordcutwithoneblowwhileitisstillwholeandstrong,andtolaunchoutstraightintothegreatocean,thantositwatchingthroughtheslowyears,whilestrandafterstrand,threadbythread,loosensandunwindsitself,——
eachwithitsownseparatepangbreaking,bringingthebitternessofdeathwithoutitsrelease。
Hismanner,thedespairingringinhisvoice,alarmedmeevenmorethanhiswords。Clingingtohisarmwithbothhands,whilethetearssprangtomyeyes——”Alan,”Icried,”don’tsaysuchthings,——don’ttalklikethat。
Youaremakingmemiserable。”
Hestoppedshortatmywords,withbenthead,hisfeatureshiddenintheshadowthuscastuponthem,——nothinginhismotionlessformtoshowwhatwaspassingwithinhim。Thenhelookedup,andturnedhisfacetothemoonlightandtome,layinghishandononeofmine。”Don’tbeafraid,”hesaid;”itisallright,mylittleDavid。Youhavedriventheevilspiritaway。”Andliftingmyhand,hepresseditgentlytohislips。Thendrawingitwithinhisarm,hewenton,ashewalkedforward,”Andevenwhenitwasonmeatitsworst,I
wasnotmeditatingsuicide,asIthinkyouimagine。Iamaveryaveragespecimenofhumanity,——neitherbraveenoughtodefythepossibilitiesofeternitynorcowardlyenoughtoshirkthoseoftime。No,Iwasonlytryingidioticallytopersuadeagirlofeighteenthatlifewasnotworthliving;andmorefutilelystill,myself,thatIdidnotwishhertolive。Iamafraid,thatinmymindphilosophyandfacthavebutsmallconnectionwitheachother;
andthoughmytheorizingforyourwelfaremaybetrueenough,yet,——
Icannothelpit,Evie,——itwouldgoterriblyhardwithmeifanythingweretohappentoyou。”
Hisvoicetrembledashefinished。Myfearhadgonewithhisreturntohisnaturalmanner,butmybewildermentremained。”WhySHOULDthereanythinghappentome?”Iasked。”Thatisjustit,”heanswered,afterapause,lookingstraightinfrontofhimanddrawinghishandwearilyoverhisbrow。”Iknowofnoreasonwhythereshould。”Thengivingasigh,asiffinallytodismissfromhismindaworryingsubject——”Ihaveactedforthebest,”hesaid,”andmayGodforgivemeifIhavedonewrong。”
Therewasalittlesilenceafterthat,andthenhebegantotalkagain,steadilyandquietly。Thesubjectwasdeepenoughstill,asdeepasanythatwehadtouchedupon,butbothvoiceandsentimentwerecalm,bringingpeacetomyspirit,andsoonmakingmeforgetthewonderandfearofafewmomentsbefore。Veryopenlydidhetalkaswepassedonacrossthelongtrunkshadowsandthroughthegladesofsilverlight;andIsawfartherthenintothemostsacredrecessesofhissoulthanIhaveeverdonebeforeorsince。
Whenwereachedhomethemoonhadalreadyset;butsomeofherbeamsseemedtohavebeenleftbehindwithinmyheart,sopureandpeacefulwasthelightwhichfilledit。
Thesamefeelingcontinuedwithmeallthroughthatevening。Afterdinnersomeofthepartyplayedandsang。AsitwasSunday,andLucywasrigidinherviews,themusicwasofasacredcharacter。
Isatinalowarmchairinadarkcorneroftheroom,mymindtoodreamytothink,andtoopassivetodream。IhardlyinterchangedthreewordswithAlan,whoremainedinastilldarkerspot,invisibleandsilentthewholetime。Onlyaswelefttheroomtogotobed,IheardLucyaskhimifhehadaheadache。Ididnothearhisanswer,andbeforeIcouldseehisfacehehadturnedbackagainintothedrawing-room。