“IrepresentthefirmofSonetandCompany,monumentalstone-masons;
　　SirWalterScottwouldhavedubbedme/YoungMortality/,“continuedthisperson。“Ifyou,sir,shoulddecidetointrustyourorderstous,wewouldspareyouthetroubleofthejourneytopurchasethegroundnecessaryfortheintermentofafriendlosttothearts——“
　　AtthisRemonencqnoddedassent,andjoggedSchmucke'selbow。
　　“Everydaywereceiveordersfromfamiliestoarrangeallformalities,“continuedheoftheblackcoat,thusencouragedbyRemonencq。“Inthefirstmomentofbereavement,theheir-at-lawfindsitverydifficulttoattendtosuchmatters,andweareaccustomedtoperformtheselittleservicesforourclients。Ourcharges,sir,areonafixedscale,somuchperfoot,freestoneormarble。Familyvaultsaspecialty——Weundertakeeverythingatthemostmoderateprices。OurfirmexecutedthemagnificentmonumenterectedtothefairEstherGobseckandLuciendeRubempre,oneofthefinestornamentsofPere-
　　Lachaise。Weonlyemploythebestworkmen,andImustwarnyou,sir,againstsmallcontractors——whoturnoutnothingbuttrash,“headded,seeingthatanotherpersoninablacksuitwascominguptosayawordforanotherfirmofmarble-workers。
　　Itisoftensaidthat“deathistheendofajourney,“buttheaptnessofthesimileisrealizedmostfullyinParis。Anyarrival,especiallyofapersonofcondition,uponthe“darkbrink,“ishailedinmuchthesamewayasthetravelerrecentlylandedishailedbyhoteltoutsandpesteredwiththeirrecommendations。Withtheexceptionofafewphilosophically-mindedpersons,orhereandthereafamilysecureofhandingdownanametoposterity,nobodythinksbeforehandofthepracticalaspectsofdeath。Deathalwayscomesbeforeheisexpected;
　　and,fromasentimenteasytounderstand,theheirsusuallyactasiftheeventwereimpossible。Forwhichreason,almosteveryonethatlosesfatherormother,wifeorchild,isimmediatelybesetbyscoutsthatprofitbytheconfusioncausedbygrieftosnareothers。Informerdays,agentsformonumentsusedtoliveroundaboutthefamouscemeteryofPere-Lachaise,andweregatheredtogetherinasinglethoroughfare,whichshouldbyrightshavebeencalledtheStreetofTombs;issuingthence,theyfellupontherelativesofthedeadastheycamefromthecemetery,orevenatthegrave-side。Butcompetitionandthespiritofspeculationinducedthemtospreadthemselvesfurtherandfurtherafield,tilldescendingintoParisitselftheyreachedtheveryprecinctsofthemayor'soffice。Indeed,thestone-mason'sagenthasoftenbeenknowntoinvadethehouseofmourningwithadesignforthesepulchreinhishand。
　　“Iamintreatywiththisgentleman,“saidtherepresentativeofthefirmofSonettoanotheragentwhocameup。
　　“Ponsdeceased!……“calledtheclerkatthismoment。“Wherearethewitnesses？”
　　“Thisway,sir,“saidthestone-mason'sagent,thistimeaddressingRemonencq。
　　Schmuckestayedwherehehadbeenplacedonthebench,aninertmass。
　　Remonencqbeggedtheagenttohelphim,andtogethertheypulledSchmucketowardsthebalustrade,behindwhichtheregistrarsheltershimselffromthemourningpublic。Remonencq,Schmucke'sProvidence,wasassistedbyDr。Poulain,whofilledinthenecessaryinformationastoPons'ageandbirthplace;theGermanknewbutonething——thatPonswashisfriend。Sosoonasthesignatureswereaffixed,Remonencqandthedoctorfollowedbythestone-mason'sman,putSchmuckeintoacab,thedesperateagentwhiskinginafterwards,bentupontakingadefiniteorder。
　　LaSauvage,onthelookoutinthegateway,half-carriedSchmucke'salmostunconsciousformupstairs。Remonencqandtheagentwentupwithher。
　　“Hewillbeill！”exclaimedtheagent,anxioustomakeanendofthepieceofbusinesswhich,accordingtohim,wasinprogress。
　　“Ishouldthinkhewill！”returnedMme。Sauvage。“Hehasbeencryingfortwenty-fourhoursonend,andhewouldnottakeanything。Thereisnothinglikegriefforgivingoneasinkinginthestomach。“
　　“Mydearclient,“urgedtherepresentativeofthefirmofSonet,“dotakesomebroth。Youhavesomuchtodo;someonemustgototheHoteldeVilletobuythegroundinthecemeteryonwhichyoumeantoerectamonumenttoperpetuatethememoryofthefriendofthearts,andbearrecordtoyourgratitude。“
　　“Why,thereisnosenseinthis！”addedMme。Cantinet,cominginwithbrothandbread。
　　“Ifyouareasweakasthis,yououghttothinkoffindingsomeonetoactforyou,“addedRemonencq,“foryouhaveagooddealonyourhands,mydearsir。Thereisthefuneraltoorder。Youwouldnothaveyourfriendburiedlikeapauper！”
　　“Come,come,mydearsir,“putinLaSauvage,seizingamomentwhenSchmuckelaidhisheadbackinthegreatchairtopouraspoonfulofsoupintohismouth。Shefedhimasifhehadbeenachild,andalmostinspiteofhimself。
　　“Now,ifyouwerewise,sir,sinceyouareinclinedtogiveyourselfupquietlytogrief,youwouldfindsomeonetoactforyou——“
　　“Asyouarethinkingofraisingamagnificentmonumenttothememoryofyourfriend,sir,youhaveonlytoleaveitalltome;Iwillundertake——“
　　“Whatisallthis?Whatisallthis？”askedLaSauvage。“HasM。
　　Schmuckeorderedsomething?Whomayyoube？”
　　“IrepresentthefirmofSonet,mydearmadame,thebiggestmonumentalstone-masonsinParis,“saidthepersoninblack,handingabusiness-
　　cardtothestalwartSauvage。
　　“Verywell,thatwilldo。Someonewillgowithyouwhenthetimecomes;butyoumustnottakeadvantageofthegentleman'sconditionnow。Youcanquiteseethatheisnothimself——“
　　Theagentledheroutuponthelanding。
　　“Ifyouwillundertaketogettheorderforus,“hesaidconfidentially,“Iamempoweredtoofferyoufortyfrancs。“
　　Mme。Sauvagegrewplacable。“Verywell,letmehaveyouraddress,“
　　saidshe。
　　Schmuckemeantimebeinglefttohimself,andfeelingthestrongerforthesoupandbreadthathehadbeenforcedtoswallow,returnedatoncetoPons'rooms,andtohisprayers。Hehadlosthimselfinthefathomlessdepthsofsorrow,whenavoicesoundinginhisearsdrewhimbackfromtheabyssofgrief,andayoungmaninasuitofblackreturnedfortheeleventhtimetothecharge,pullingthepoor,torturedvictim'scoatsleeveuntilhelistened。
　　“Sir！”saidhe。
　　“Vateesitnow？”
　　“Sir!weoweasupremediscoverytoDr。Gannal;wedonotdisputehisfame;hehasworkedmiraclesofEgyptafresh;buttherehavebeenimprovementsmadeuponhissystem。Wehaveobtainedsurprisingresults。So,ifyouwouldliketoseeyourfriendagain,ashewaswhenhewasalive——“
　　“Seehimagain！”criedSchmucke。“Shallhespeaktome？”
　　“Notexactly。Speechistheonlythingwanting,“continuedtheembalmer'sagent。“Buthewillremainasheisafterembalmingforalleternity。Theoperationisoverinafewseconds。Justanincisioninthecarotidarteryandaninjection——Butitishightime;ifyouwaitonesinglequarterofanhour,sir,youwillnothavethesweetsatisfactionofpreservingthebody……“
　　“Gotoderteufel!……Bonsiseinspirit——unddatspiritisinhefn。“
　　“Thatmanhasnogratitudeinhiscomposition,“remarkedtheyouthfulagentofoneofthefamousGannal'srivals;“hewillnotembalmhisfriend。“
　　Thewordswerespokenunderthearchway,andaddressedtoLaCibot,whohadjustsubmittedherbelovedtotheprocess。
　　“Whatwouldyouhave,sir！”shesaid。“Heistheheir,theuniversallegatee。Assoonastheygetwhattheywant,thedeadarenothingtothem。“
　　Anhourlater,SchmuckesawMme。Sauvagecomeintotheroom,followedbyanothermaninasuitofblack,aworkman,toallappearance。
　　“Cantinethasbeensoobligingastosendthisgentleman,sir,“shesaid;“heiscoffin-makertotheparish。“
　　Thecoffin-makermadehisbowwithasympatheticandcompassionateair,butnonethelesshehadabusiness-likelook,andseemedtoknowthathewasindispensable。Heturnedanexpert'seyeuponthedead。
　　“Howdoesthegentlemanwish'it'tobemade?Deal,plainoak,oroaklead-lined?Oakwithaleadliningisthebeststyle。Thebodyisastocksize,“——hefeltforthefeet,andproceededtotakethemeasure——“onemetreseventy！”headded。“Youwillbethinkingoforderingthefuneralserviceatthechurch,sir,nodoubt？”
　　Schmuckelookedathimasadangerousmadmanmightlookbeforestrikingablow。LaSauvageputinaword。
　　“Yououghttofindsomebodytolookafterallthesethings,“shesaid。
　　“Yes——“thevictimmurmuredatlength。
　　“ShallIfetchM。Tabareau?——foryouwillhaveagooddealonyourhandsbeforelong。M。Tabareauisthemosthonestmaninthequarter,yousee。“
　　“Yes。MennesirDapareau!Somepodyvasspeakingofhimchustnow——“
　　saidSchmucke,completelybeaten。
　　“Verywell。Youcanbequiet,sir,andgiveyourselfuptogrief,whenyouhaveseenyourdeputy。“
　　Itwasnearlytwoo'clockwhenM。Tabareau'shead-clerk,ayoungmanwhoaimedatabailiff'scareer,modestlypresentedhimself。Youthhaswonderfulprivileges;nooneisalarmedbyyouth。ThisyoungmanVillemotbyname,satdownbySchmucke'ssideandwaitedhisopportunitytospeak。HisdiffidencetouchedSchmuckeverymuch。
　　“IamM。Tabareau'shead-clerk,sir,“hesaid;“hesentmeheretotakechargeofyourinterests,andtosuperintendthefuneralarrangements。Isthisyourwish？”
　　“Youcannotsafemylife,Ihafnotlongtolif;butyouvillleafmeinbeace！”
　　“Oh!youshallnotbedisturbed,“saidVillemot。
　　“Ver'goot。VatmustIdofordat？”
　　“SignthispaperappointingM。Tabareautoactforyouinallmattersrelatingtothesettlementoftheaffairsofthedeceased。“
　　“Goot!gifittome,“saidSchmucke,anxiousonlytosignitatonce。
　　“No,Imustreaditovertoyoufirst。“
　　“Readitofer。“
　　Schmuckepaidnottheslightestattentiontothereadingofthepowerofattorney,buthesethisnametoit。TheyoungclerktookSchmucke'sordersforthefuneral,theinterment,andtheburialservice;undertakingthatheshouldnotbetroubledagaininanyway,noraskedformoney。
　　“IvouldgifalldatIhaftobeleftinbeace,“saidtheunhappyman。
　　Andoncemorehekneltbesidethedeadbodyofhisfriend。
　　Fraisierhadtriumphed。VillemotandLaSauvagecompletedthecirclewhichhehadtracedaboutPons'heir。
　　Thereisnosorrowthatsleepcannotovercome。TowardstheendofthedayLaSauvage,comingin,foundSchmuckestretchedasleepatthebed-
　　foot。Shecarriedhimoff,puthimtobed,tuckedhiminmaternally,andtillthemorningSchmuckeslept。
　　Whenheawoke,orratherwhenthetrucewasoverandheagainbecameconsciousofhissorrows,Pons'coffinlayunderthegatewayinsuchastateasathird-classfuneralmayclaim,andSchmucke,seekingvainlyforhisfriend,wanderedfromroomtoroom,acrossvastspaces,asitseemedtohim,emptyofeverythingsavehideousmemories。LaSauvagetookhiminhand,muchasanursemanagesachild;shemadehimtakehisbreakfastbeforestartingforthechurch;andwhilethepoorsuffererforcedhimselftoeat,shediscovered,withlamentationsworthyofJeremiah,thathehadnotablackcoatinhispossession。LaCibottookentirechargeofhiswardrobe;sincePonsfellill,hisapparel,likehisdinner,hadbeenreducedtothelowestterms——toacoupleofcoatsandtwopairsoftrousers。
　　“AndyouaregoingjustasyouaretoM。Pons'funeral?Itisanunheard-ofthing;thewholequarterwillcryshameuponus！”
　　“UndhowvillyoudatIgo？”
　　“Why,inmourning——“
　　“Mourning！”
　　“Itistheproperthing。“
　　“Derbropperding!……Confoundalldisstupidnonsense！”criedpoorSchmucke,driventothelastdegreeofexasperationwhichachildlikesoulcanreachunderstressofsorrow。
　　“Why,themanisamonsterofingratitude！”saidLaSauvage,turningtoapersonagewhojustthenappeared。AtthesightofthisfunctionarySchmuckeshuddered。Thenewcomerworeasplendidsuitofblack,blackknee-breeches,blacksilkstockings,apairofwhitecuffs,anextremelycorrectwhitemuslintie,andwhitegloves。A
　　silverchainwithacoinattachedornamentedhisperson。Atypicalofficial,stampedwiththeofficialexpressionofdecorousgloom,anebonywandinhishandbywayofinsigniaofoffice,hestoodwaitingwithathree-corneredhatadornedwiththetricolorcockadeunderhisarm。
　　“Iamthemasteroftheceremonies,“thispersonremarkedinasubduedvoice。
　　Accustomeddailytosuperintendfunerals,tomoveamongfamiliesplungedinoneandthesamekindoftribulation,realorfeigned,thisman,liketherestofhisfraternity,spokeinhushedandsoothingtones;hewasdecorous,polished,andformal,likeanallegoricalstonefigureofDeath。
　　Schmuckequiveredthrougheverynerveasifhewereconfrontinghisexecutioner。
　　“Isthisgentlemantheson,brother,orfatherofthedeceased？”
　　inquiredtheofficial。
　　“Iamalldatandmorepesides——Iamhisfriend,“saidSchmuckethroughatorrentofweeping。
　　“Areyouhisheir？”
　　“Heir?……“repeatedSchmucke。“Nodingmatterstomemoreindisvorld,“returningtohisattitudeofhopelesssorrow。
　　“Wherearetherelatives,thefriends？”askedthemasteroftheceremonies。
　　“Allhere！”exclaimedtheGerman,indicatingthepicturesandrarities。“NotvonofdemhafefergifnbaintomeinboorBons……
　　Hereeeseverydingsdothelofed,afterme。“
　　Schmuckehadtakenhisseatagain,andlookedasvacantasbefore;hedriedhiseyesmechanically。Villemotcameupatthatmoment;hehadorderedthefuneral,andthemasteroftheceremonies,recognizinghim,madeanappealtothenewcomer。
　　“Well,sir,itistimetostart。Thehearseishere;butIhavenotoftenseensuchafuneralasthis。Wherearetherelativesandfriends？”
　　“Wehavebeenpressedfortime,“repliedVillemot。“Thisgentlemanwasinsuchdeepgriefthathecouldthinkofnothing。Andthereisonlyonerelative。“
　　ThemasteroftheceremonieslookedcompassionatelyatSchmucke;thisexpertinsorrowknewrealgriefwhenhesawit。Hewentacrosstohim。
　　“Come,takeheart,mydearsir。Thinkofpayinghonortoyourfriend'smemory。“
　　“Weforgottosendoutcards;butItookcaretosendaspecialmessagetoM。lePresidentedeMarville,theonerelativethatI
　　mentionedtoyou——Therearenofriends——M。Ponswasconductorofanorchestraatatheatre,butIdonotthinkthatanyonewillcome——
　　Thisgentlemanistheuniversallegatee,Ibelieve。“
　　“Thenheoughttobechiefmourner,“saidthemasteroftheceremonies——“Haveyouablackcoat？”hecontinued,noticingSchmucke'scostume。
　　“Iamallinplackinsite！”poorSchmuckerepliedinheartrendingtones;“soplackitisdotIfeeldeathinme……Gottinhefnisgoingtohafpityuponme;Hevillsendmetomeinfriendindergrafe,undIdankHimforit——“
　　Heclaspedhishands。
　　“Ihavetoldourmanagementbeforenowthatweoughttohaveawardrobedepartmentandlendthepropermourningcostumesonhire,“
　　saidthemasteroftheceremonies,addressingVillemot;“itisawantthatismoreandmorefelteveryday,andwehaveevennowintroducedimprovements。Butasthisgentlemanischiefmourner,heoughttowearacloak,andthisonethatIhavebroughtwithmewillcoverhimfromheadtofoot;nooneneedknowthatheisnotinpropermourningcostume——Willyoubesokindastorise？”
　　Schmuckerose,buthetotteredonhisfeet。
　　“Supporthim,“saidthemasteroftheceremonies,turningtoVillemot;
　　“youarehislegalrepresentative。“
　　VillemotheldSchmucke'sarmwhilethemasteroftheceremoniesinvestedSchmuckewiththeample,dismal-lookinggarmentwornbyheirs-at-lawintheprocessiontoandfromthehouseandthechurch。
　　Hetiedtheblacksilkencordsunderthechin,andSchmuckeasheirwasin“fulldress。“
　　“Andnowcomesagreatdifficulty,“continuedthemasteroftheceremonies;“wewantfourbearersforthepall……Ifnobodycomestothefuneral,whoistofillthecorners?Itishalf-pasttenalready,“headded,lookingathiswatch;“theyarewaitingforusatthechurch。“
　　“Oh!herecomesFraisier！”Villemotexclaimed,veryimprudently;buttherewasnoonetohearthetacitconfessionofcomplicity。
　　“Whoisthisgentleman？”inquiredthemasteroftheceremonies。
　　“Oh!hecomesonbehalfofthefamily。“
　　“Whosefamily？”
　　“Thedisinheritedfamily。HeisM。CamusotdeMarville'srepresentative。“
　　“Good,“saidthemasteroftheceremonies,withasatisfiedair。“Weshallhavetwopall-bearersatanyrate——youandhe。“
　　And,happytofindtwooftheplacesfilledup,hetookoutsomewonderfulwhitebuckskingloves,andpolitelypresentedFraisierandVillemotwithapairapiece。
　　“Ifyougentlemenwillbesogoodastoactaspall-bearers——“saidhe。
　　Fraisier,inblackfromheadtofoot,pretentiouslydressed,withhiswhitetieandofficialair,wasasighttoshudderat;heembodiedahundredbriefs。
　　“Willingly,sir,“saidhe。
　　“Ifonlytwomorepersonswillcome,thefourcornerswillbefilledup,“saidthemasteroftheceremonies。
　　AtthatverymomenttheindefatigablerepresentativeofthefirmofSonetcameup,and,closelyfollowinghim,themanwhorememberedPonsandthoughtofpayinghimalasttributeofrespect。Thiswasasupernumeraryatthetheatre,themanwhoputoutthescoresonthemusic-standsfortheorchestra。Ponshadbeenwonttogivehimafive-
　　francpieceonceamonth,knowingthathehadawifeandfamily。
　　“Oh,DobinardTopinard！”Schmuckecriedoutatthesightofhim,“/you/loveBons！”
　　“Why,IhavecometoasknewsofM。Ponseverymorning,sir。“
　　“Eferymorning!boorDobinard！”andSchmuckesqueezedtheman'shand。
　　“Buttheytookmeforarelation,nodoubt,anddidnotlikemyvisitsatall。ItoldthemthatIbelongedtothetheatreandcametoinquireafterM。Pons;butitwasnogood。Theysawthroughthatdodge,theysaid。Iaskedtoseethepoordearman,buttheyneverwouldletmecomeupstairs。“
　　“DatapominableZipod！”saidSchmucke,squeezingTopinard'shornyhandtohisheart。
　　“Hewasthebestofmen,thatgoodM。Pons。Everymonthheusetogivemefivefrancs……HeknewthatIhadthreechildrenandawife。Mywifehasgonetothechurch。“
　　“Ishalldifidemeinpreadmityou,“criedSchmucke,inhisjoyatfindingathissidesomeonewholovedPons。
　　“Ifthisgentlemanwilltakeacornerofthepall,weshallhaveallfourfilledup,“saidthemasteroftheceremonies。
　　Therehadbeennodifficultyoverpersuadingtheagentformonuments。
　　Hetookacornerthemorereadilywhenhewasshownthehandsomepairofgloveswhich,accordingtocustom,wastobehisproperty。
　　“Aquartertoeleven!Weabsolutelymustgodown。Theyarewaitingforusatthechurch。“
　　Thesixpersonsthusassembledwentdownthestaircase。
　　Thecold-bloodedlawyerremainedamomenttospeaktothetwowomenonthelanding。“Stophere,andletnobodycomein,“hesaid,“especiallyifyouwishtoremainincharge,Mme。Cantinet。Aha!twofrancsaday,youknow！”
　　ByacoincidenceinnowiseextraordinaryinParis,twohearseswerewaitingatthedoor,andtwocoffinsstandingunderthearchway;
　　Cibot'sfuneralandthesolitarystateinwhichPonswaslyingwasmadeevenmorestrikinginthestreet。SchmuckewastheonlymournerthatfollowedPons'coffin;Schmucke,supportedbyoneoftheundertaker'smen,forhetotteredateverystep。FromtheRuedeNormandietotheRued'OrleansandtheChurchofSaint-Francoisthetwofuneralswentbetweenadoublerowofcuriousonlookersforeverythingaswassaidbeforemakesasensationinthequarter。
　　Everyoneremarkedthesplendorofthewhitefuneralcar,withabigembroideredPsuspendedonahatchment,andtheonesolitarymournerbehindit;whilethecheapbierthatcameafteritwasfollowedbyanimmensecrowd。Happily,Schmuckewassobewilderedbythethrongofidlersandtherowsofheadsinthewindows,thatheheardnoremarksandonlysawthefacesthroughamistoftears。
　　“Oh,itisthenutcracker！”saidone,“themusician,youknow——“
　　“Whocanthepall-bearersbe？”
　　“Pooh!play-actors。“
　　“Isay,justlookatpooroldCibot'sfuneral。Thereisoneworkertheless。Whataman!hecouldnevergetenoughofwork！”
　　“Heneverwentout。“
　　“HeneverkeptSaintMonday。“
　　“Howfondhewasofhiswife！”
　　“Ah!Thereisanunhappywoman！”
　　Remonencqwalkedbehindhisvictim'scoffin。Peoplecondoledwithhimonthelossofhisneighbor。
　　Thetwofuneralsreachedthechurch。CantinetandthedoorkeepersawthatnobeggarstroubledSchmucke。VillemothadgivenhiswordthatPons'heirshouldbeleftinpeace;hewatchedoverhisclient,andgavetherequisitesums;andCibot'shumblebier,escortedbysixtyoreightypersons,drewallthecrowdafterittothecemetery。AtthechurchdoorPons'funeralpossessionmusteredfourmourning-coaches,oneforthepriestandthreefortherelations;butoneonlywasrequired,fortherepresentativeofthefirmofSonetdepartedduringmasstogivenoticetohisprincipalthatthefuneralwasontheway,sothatthedesignforthemonumentmightbereadyforthesurvivoratthegatesofthecemetery。AsinglecoachsufficedforFraisier,Villemot,Schmucke,andTopinard;buttheremainingtwo,insteadofreturningtotheundertaker,followedintheprocessiontoPere-
　　Lachaise——auselessprocession,notunfrequentlyseen;therearealwaystoomanycoacheswhenthedeadareunknownbeyondtheirowncircleandthereisnocrowdatthefuneral。Dear,indeed,thedeadmusthavebeenintheirlifetimeifrelativeorfriendwillgowiththemsofarasthecemeteryinthisParis,whereeveryonewouldfainhavetwenty-fivehoursintheday。Butwiththecoachmenitisdifferent;theylosetheirtipsiftheydonotmakethejourney;so,emptyorfull,themourningcoachesgotothechurchandcemeteryandreturntothehouseforgratuities。Adeathisasortofdrinking-
　　fountainforanunimaginedcrowdofthirstymortals。Theattendantsatthechurch,thepoor,theundertaker'smen,thedriversandsextons,arecreatureslikespongesthatdipintoahearseandcomeoutagainsaturated。
　　Fromthechurchdoor,wherehewasbesetwithaswarmofbeggarspromptlydispersedbythebeadle,toPere-Lachaise,poorSchmuckewentascriminalswentinoldtimesfromthePalaisdeJusticetothePlacedeGreve。Itwashisownfuneralthathefollowed,clingingtoTopinard'shand,totheonelivingcreaturebesideshimselfwhofeltapangofrealregretforPons'death。
　　AsforTopinard,greatlytouchedbythehonoroftherequesttoactaspall-bearer,contenttodriveinacarriage,thepossessorofanewpairofgloves,——itbegantodawnuponhimthatthiswastobeoneofthegreatdaysofhislife。Schmuckewasdrivenpassivelyalongtheroad,assomeunluckycalfisdriveninabutcher'scarttotheslaughter-house。FraisierandVillemotsatwiththeirbackstothehorses。Now,asthoseknowwhosesadfortuneithasbeentoaccompanymanyoftheirfriendstotheirlastresting-place,allhypocrisybreaksdowninthecoachduringthejourneyoftenaverylongone
　　fromthechurchtotheeasterncemetery,tothatoneoftheburying-
　　groundsofParisinwhichallvanities,allkindsofdisplay,aremet,sorichisitinsumptuousmonuments。Ontheseoccasionsthosewhofeelleastbegintotalksoonest,andintheendthesaddestlisten,andtheirthoughtsarediverted。
　　“M。lePresidenthadalreadystartedfortheCourt。“FraisiertoldVillemot,“andIdidnotthinkitnecessarytotearhimawayfrombusiness;hewouldhavecometoolate,inanycase。Heisthenext-of-
　　kin;butashehasbeendisinherited,andM。Schmuckegetseverything,Ithoughtthatifhislegalrepresentativewerepresentitwouldbeenough。“
　　Topinardlentaneartothis。
　　“Whowasthequeercustomerthattookthefourthcorner？”continuedFraisier。
　　“Heisanagentforafirmofmonumentalstone-masons。Hewouldlikeanorderforatomb,onwhichheproposestoputthreesculpturedmarblefigures——Music,Painting,andSculpturesheddingtearsoverthedeceased。“
　　“Itisanidea,“saidFraisier;“theoldgentlemancertainlydeservedthatmuch;butthemonumentwouldcostsevenoreighthundredfrancs。“
　　“Oh!quitethat！”
　　“IfM。Schmuckegivestheorder,itcannotaffecttheestate。Youmighteatupawholepropertywithsuchexpenses。“
　　“Therewouldbealawsuit,butyouwouldgainit——“
　　“Verywell,“saidFraisier,“thenitwillbehisaffair——Itwouldbeanicepracticaljoketoplayuponthemonument-makers,“FraisieraddedinVillemot'sear;“forifthewillisupsetandIcananswerforthat,orifthereisnowillatall,whowouldpaythem？”
　　Villemotgrinnedlikeamonkey,andthepairbegantotalkconfidentially,loweringtheirvoices;butthemanfromthetheatre,withhiswitsandsensessharpenedintheworldbehindthescenes,couldguessatthenatureoftheirdiscourse;inspiteoftherumblingofthecarriageandotherhindrances,hebegantounderstandthattheserepresentativesofjusticewereschemingtoplungepoorSchmuckeintodifficulties;andwhenatlastheheardtheominousword“Clichy,“thehonestandloyalservitorofthestagemadeuphismindtowatchoverPons'friend。
　　Atthecemetery,wherethreesquareyardsofgroundhadbeenpurchasedthroughthegoodofficesofthefirmofSonetVillemothavingannouncedSchmucke'sintentionoferectingamagnificentmonument,themasterofceremoniesledSchmuckethroughacuriouscrowdtothegraveintowhichPons'coffinwasabouttobelowered;buthere,atthesightofthesquarehole,thefourmenwaitingwithropestolowerthebier,andtheclergysayingthelastprayerforthedeadatthegrave-side,somethingclutchedtightlyattheGerman'sheart。Hefaintedaway。
　　Sonet'sagentandM。SonethimselfcametohelpTopinardtocarrypoorSchmuckeintothemarble-workshardby,whereMme。SonetandMme。
　　VitelotSonet'spartner'swifewereeagerlyprodigalofeffortstorevivehim。Topinardstayed。HehadseenFraisierinconversationwithSonet'sagent,andFraisier,inhisopinion,hadgallows-birdwrittenonhisface。
　　Anhourlater,towardshalf-pasttwoo'clock,thepoor,innocentGermancametohimself。Schmuckethoughtthathehadbeendreamingforthepasttwodays;ifhecouldonlywake,heshouldfindPonsstillalive。Somanywettowelshadbeenlaidonhisforehead,hehadbeenmadetoinhalesaltsandvinegartosuchanextent,thatheopenedhiseyesatlast。Mme。Sonetmakehimtakesomemeat-soup,fortheyhadputthepotonthefireatthemarble-works。
　　“Ourclientsdonotoftentakethingstoheartlikethis;still,ithappensonceinayearortwo——“
　　AtlastSchmucketalkedofreturningtotheRuedeNormandie,andatthisSonetbeganatonce。
　　“Hereisthedesign,sir,“hesaid;“Vitelotdrewitexpresslyforyou,andsatuplastnighttodoit……Andhehasbeenhappilyinspired,itwilllookfine——“
　　“OneofthefinestinPere-Lachaise！”saidthelittleMme。Sonet。“Butyoureallyoughttohonorthememoryofafriendwholeftyouallhisfortune。“
　　Thedesign,supposedtohavebeendrawnonpurpose,had,asamatteroffact,beenpreparedfordeMarsay,thefamouscabinetminister。Hiswidow,however,hadgiventhecommissiontoStidmann;peopleweredisgustedwiththetawdrinessoftheproject,anditwasrefused。ThethreefiguresatthatperiodrepresentedthethreedaysofJulywhichbroughttheeminentministertopower。Subsequently,SonetandVitelothadturnedtheThreeGloriousDays——“/lestroisglorieuses/“——intotheArmy,Finance,andtheFamily,andsentinthedesignforthesepulchreofthelatelamentedCharlesKeller;andhereagainStidmanntookthecommission。Intheelevenyearsthatfollowed,thesketchhadbeenmodifiedtosuitallkindsofrequirements,andnowinVitelot'sfreshtracingtheyreappearedasMusic,Sculpture,andPainting。
　　“Itisameretriflewhenyouthinkofthedetailsandcostofsettingitup;foritwilltakesixmonths,“saidVitelot。“Hereistheestimateandtheorder-form——seventhousandfrancs,sketchinplasternotincluded。“
　　“IfM。Schmuckewouldlikemarble,“putinSonetmarblebeinghisspecialdepartment,“itwouldcosttwelvethousandfrancs,andmonsieurwouldimmortalizehimselfaswellashisfriend。“
　　TopinardturnedtoVitelot。
　　“Ihavejustheardthattheyaregoingtodisputethewill,“hewhispered,“andtherelativesarelikelytocomebytheirproperty。GoandspeaktoM。Camusot,forthispoor,harmlesscreaturehasnotafarthing。“
　　“Thisisthekindofcustomerthatyoualwaysbringus,“saidMme。
　　Vitelot,beginningaquarrelwiththeagent。
　　TopinardledSchmuckeaway,andtheyreturnedhomeonfoottotheRuedeNormandie,forthemourning-coacheshadbeensentback。
　　“Donotleafme,“Schmuckesaid,whenTopinardhadseenhimsafeintoMme。Sauvage'shands,andwantedtogo。
　　“Itisfouro'clock,dearM。Schmucke。Imustgohometodinner。Mywifeisabox-opener——shewillnotknowwhathasbecomeofme。Thetheatreopensataquartertosix,youknow。“
　　“Yes,Iknow……butrememberdatIamaloneindieearth,datIhafnofriend。YoudathafshedatearforBonsenlidenme;Iaminteeptarkness,undBonssaiddatIvasindermidstofshcoundrels。“
　　“Ihaveseenthatplainlyalready;IhavejustpreventedthemfromsendingyoutoClichy。“
　　“/Gligy!/“repeatedSchmucke;“Idonotunderstand。“
　　“Poorman!Well,nevermind,Iwillcometoyou。Good-bye。“
　　“Goot-bye;kommagainsoon,“saidSchmucke,droppinghalf-deadwithweariness。
　　“Good-bye,mosieu,“saidMme。Sauvage,andtherewassomethinginhertonethatstruckTopinard。
　　“Oh,come,whatisthematternow？”heasked,banteringly。“Youareattitudinizinglikeatraitorinamelodrama。“
　　“Traitoryourself!Whyhaveyoucomemeddlinghere?Doyouwanttohaveahandinthemaster'saffairs,andswindlehim,eh？”
　　“Swindlehim!……Yourveryhumbleservant！”Topinardansweredwithsuperbdisdain。“Iamonlyapoorsuperatatheatre,butIamsomethingofanartist,andyoumayaswellknowthatIneveraskedanythingofanybodyyet!Whoaskedanythingofyou?Whoowesyouanything?eh,oldlady！”
　　“Youareemployedatatheatre,andyournameis——？”
　　“Topinard,atyourservice。“
　　“Kindregardstoallathome,“saidLaSauvage,“andmycomplimentstoyourmissus,ifyouaremarried,mister……ThatwasallIwantedtoknow。“
　　“Why,whatisthematter,dear？”askedMme。Cantinet,comingout。
　　“This,child——stophereandlookafterthedinnerwhileIrunroundtospeaktomonsieur。“
　　“Heisdownbelow,talkingwithpoorMme。Cibot,thatiscryinghereyesout,“saidMme。Cantinet。
　　LaSauvagedasheddowninsuchheadlonghastethatthestairstrembledbeneathhertread。
　　“Monsieur！”shecalled,anddrewhimasideafewpacestopointoutTopinard。
　　Topinardwasjustgoingaway,proudathearttohavemadesomereturnalreadytothemanwhohaddonehimsomanykindnesses。HehadsavedPons'friendfromatrap,byastratagemfromthatworldbehindthescenesinwhicheveryonehasmoreorlessreadywit。Andwithinhimselfhevowedtoprotectamusicianinhisorchestrafromfuturesnaressetforhissimplesincerity。
　　“Doyouseethatlittlewretch？”saidLaSauvage。“HeisakindofhonestmanthathasamindtopokehisnoseintoM。Schmucke'saffairs。“
　　“Whoishe？”askedFraisier。
　　“Oh!heisanobody。“
　　“Inbusinessthereisnosuchthingasanobody。“
　　“Oh,heisemployedatthetheatre,“saidshe;“hisnameisTopinard。“
　　“Good,Mme。Sauvage!Goonlikethis,andyoushallhaveyourtobacconist'sshop。“
　　AndFraisierresumedhisconversationwithMme。Cibot。
　　“SoIsay,mydearclient,thatyouhavenotplayedopenlyandabove-
　　boardwithme,andthatoneisnotboundinanywaytoapartnerwhocheats。“
　　“AndhowhaveIcheatedyou？”askedLaCibot,handsonhips。“Doyouthinkthatyouwillfrightenmewithyoursourlooksandyourfrostyairs?Youlookaboutforbadreasonsforbreakingyourpromises,andyoucallyourselfanhonestman!Doyouknowwhatyouare?Youareablackguard!Yes!yes!scratchyourarm;butjustpocketthat——“
　　“Nowords,andkeepyourtemper,dearie。Listentome。Youhavebeenfeatheringyournest……Ifoundthiscataloguethismorningwhileweweregettingreadyforthefuneral;itisallinM。Pons'
　　handwriting,andmadeoutinduplicate。Andasitchanced,myeyesfellonthis——“
　　Andopeningthecatalogue,heread：
　　“No。7。/Magnificentportraitpaintedonmarble,bySebastiandelPiombo,in1546。SoldbyafamilywhohaditremovedfromTerniCathedral。Thepicture,whichrepresentsaKnight-Templarkneelinginprayer,usedtohangaboveatomboftheRossifamilywithacompanionportraitofaBishop,afterwardspurchasedbyanEnglishman。TheportraitmightbeattributedtoRaphael,butforthedate。Thisexampleis,tomymind,superiortotheportraitofBaccioBandinelliintheMusee;thelatterisalittlehard,whiletheTemplar,beingpaintedupon'lavagna,'orslate,haspreserveditsfreshnessofcoloring。/“
　　“WhenIcometolookforNo。7,“continuedFraisier,“Ifindaportraitofalady,signed'Chardin,'withoutanumberonit!Iwentthroughthepictureswiththecataloguewhilethemasterofceremonieswasmakingupthenumberofpall-bearers,andfoundthateightofthoseindicatedasworksofcapitalimportancebyM。Ponshaddisappeared,andeightpaintingsofnospecialmerit,andwithoutnumbers,werethereinstead……Andfinally,onewasmissingaltogether,alittlepanel-paintingbyMetzu,describedinthecatalogueasamasterpiece。“
　　“Andwas/I/inchargeofthepictures？”demandedLaCibot。
　　“No;butyouwereinapositionoftrust。YouwereM。Pons'
　　housekeeper,youlookedafterhisaffairs,andhehasbeenrobbed——“
　　“Robbed!Letmetellyouthis,sir：M。Schmuckesoldthepictures,byM。Pons'orders,tomeetexpenses。“
　　“Andtowhom？”
　　“ToMessrs。ElieMagusandRemonencq。“
　　“Forhowmuch？”
　　“IamsureIdonotremember。“
　　“Lookhere,mydearmadame;youhavebeenfeatheringyournest,andverysnugly。Ishallkeepaneyeuponyou;Ihaveyousafe。Helpme,I
　　willsaynothing!Inanycase,youknowthatsinceyoudeemeditexpedienttoplunderM。lePresidentCamusot,yououghtnottoexpectanythingfrom/him/。“
　　“Iwassurethatthiswouldallendinsmoke,forme,“saidLaCibot,mollifiedbythewords“Iwillsaynothing。“
　　Remonencqchimedinatthispoint。
　　“HereareyoufindingfaultwithMme。Cibot;thatisnotright！”hesaid。“ThepicturesweresoldbyprivatetreatybetweenM。Pons,M。
　　Magus,andme。Wewaitedforthreedaysbeforewecametotermswiththedeceased;hesleptonhispictures。Wetookreceiptsinproperform;andifwegaveMadameCibotafewforty-francpieces,itisthecustomofthetrade——wealwaysdosoinprivatehouseswhenweconcludeabargain。Ah!mydearsir,ifyouthinktocheatadefencelesswoman,youwillnotmakeagoodbargain!Doyouunderstand,masterlawyer?——M。Magusrulesthemarket,andifyoudonotcomedownoffthehighhorse,ifyoudonotkeepyourwordtoMme。
　　Cibot,Ishallwaittillthecollectionissold,andyoushallseewhatyouwillloseifyouhaveM。Magusandmeagainstyou;wecangetthedealersinaring。Insteadofrealizingsevenoreighthundredthousandfrancs,youwillnotsomuchasmaketwohundredthousand。“
　　“Good,good,weshallsee。Wearenotgoingtosell;orifwedo,itwillbeinLondon。“
　　“WeknowLondon,“saidRemonencq。“M。MagusisaspowerfulthereasatParis。“
　　“Good-day,madame;Ishallsiftthesematterstothebottom,“saidFraisier——“unlessyoucontinuetodoasItellyou“headded。
　　“Youlittlepickpocket!——“
　　“Takecare!Ishallbeajusticeofthepeacebeforelong。“Andwiththreatsunderstoodtothefulluponeitherside,theyseparated。
　　“Thankyou,Remonencq！”saidLaCibot;“itisverypleasanttoapoorwidowtofindachampion。“
　　Towardsteno'clockthatevening,GaudissartsentforTopinard。Themanagerwasstandingwithhisbacktothefire,inaNapoleonicattitude——atrickwhichhehadlearnedsincebebegantocommandhisarmyofactors,dancers,/figurants/,musicians,andstagecarpenters。
　　Hegraspedhisleft-handbracewithhisrighthand,alwaysthrustintohiswaistcoat;heheadwasflungfarback,hiseyesgazedoutintospace。
　　“Ah!Isay,Topinard,haveyouindependentmeans？”
　　“No,sir。“
　　“Areyouonthelookouttobetteryourselfsomewhereelse？”
　　“No,sir——“saidTopinard,withaghastlycountenance。
　　“Why,hangitall,yourwifetakesthefirstrowofboxesoutofrespecttomypredecessor,whocametogrief;Igaveyouthejobofcleaningthelampsinthewingsinthedaytime,andyouputoutthescores。Andthatisnotall,either。Yougettwentysousforactingmonstersandmanagingdevilswhenahellisrequired。Thereisnotasuperthatdoesnotcovetyourpost,andtherearethosethatarejealousofyou,myfriend;youhaveenemiesinthetheatre。“
　　“Enemies！”repeatedTopinard。
　　“Andyouhavethreechildren;theoldesttakeschildren'spartsatfiftycentimes——“
　　“Sir!——“
　　“Youwanttomeddleinotherpeople'sbusiness,andputyourfingerintoawillcase——Why,youwretchedman,youwouldbecrushedlikeanegg-shell!MypatronisHisExcellency,MonseigneurleComtePopinot,aclevermanandamanofhighcharacter,whomtheKinginhiswisdomhassummonedbacktotheprivycouncil。Thisstatesman,thisgreatpolitician,hasmarriedhiseldestsontoadaughterofM。lePresidentdeMarville,oneoftheforemostmenamongthehighcourtsofjustice;oneoftheleadinglightsofthelaw-courts。Doyouknowthelaw-courts?Verygood。Well,heiscousinandheirtoM。Pons,toouroldconductorwhosefuneralyouattendedthismorning。Idonotblameyouforgoingtopaythelastrespectstohim,poorman……
　　ButifyoumeddleinM。Schmucke'saffairs,youwillloseyourplace。
　　IwishverywelltoM。Schmucke,butheisinadelicatepositionwithregardtotheheirs——andastheGermanisalmostnothingtome,andthePresidentandCountPopinotareagreatdeal,IrecommendyoutoleavetheworthyGermantogetoutofhisdifficultiesbyhimself。
　　ThereisaspecialProvidencethatwatchesoverGermans,andthepartofdeputyguardian-angelwouldnotsuityouatall。Doyousee?Stayasyouare——youcannotdobetter。“
　　“Verygood,monsieurledirecteur,“saidTopinard,muchdistressed。
　　AndinthiswaySchmuckelosttheprotectorsenttohimbyfate,theonecreaturethatshedatearforPons,thepoorsuperforwhosereturnhelookedonthemorrow。
　　NextmorningpoorSchmuckeawoketoasenseofhisgreatandheavyloss。Helookedroundtheemptyrooms。Yesterdayandthedaybeforeyesterdaythepreparationsforthefuneralhadmadeastirandbustlewhichdistractedhiseyes;butthesilencewhichfollowstheday,whenthefriend,father,son,orlovedwifehasbeenlaidinthegrave——thedull,coldsilenceofthemorrowisterrible,isglacial。SomeirresistibleforcedrewhimtoPons'chamber,butthesightofitwasmorethanthepoormancouldbear;heshrankawayandsatdowninthedining-room,whereMme。Sauvagewasbusymakingbreakfastready。
　　Schmuckedrewhischairtothetable,buthecouldeatnothing。A
　　sudden,somewhatsharpringingofthedoor-bellrangthroughthehouse,andMme。CantinetandMme。Sauvageallowedthreeblack-coatedpersonagestopass。FirstcameVitel,thejusticeofthepeace,withhishighlyrespectableclerk;thirdwasFraisier,neithersweeternormilderforthedisappointingdiscoveryofavalidwillcancelingtheformidableinstrumentsoaudaciouslystolenbyhim。
　　“Wehavecometoaffixsealsontheproperty,“thejusticeofthepeacesaidgently,addressingSchmucke。ButtheremarkwasGreektoSchmucke;hegazedindismayathisthreevisitors。
　　“WehavecomeattherequestofM。Fraisier,legalrepresentativeofM。CamusotdeMarville,heirofthelatePons——“addedtheclerk。
　　“Thecollectionishereinthisgreatroom,andinthebedroomofthedeceased,“remarkedFraisier。
　　“Verywell,letusgointothenextroom——Pardonus,sir;donotletusinterruptwithyourbreakfast。“
　　TheinvasionstruckanicychillofterrorintopoorSchmucke。
　　Fraisier'svenomousglancesseemedtopossesssomemagneticinfluenceoverhisvictims,likethepowerofaspideroverafly。
　　“M。Schmuckeunderstoodhowtoturnawill,madeinthepresenceofanotary,tohisownadvantage,“hesaid,“andhesurelymusthaveexpectedsomeoppositionfromthefamily。Afamilydoesnotallowitselftobeplunderedbyastrangerwithoutsomeprotest;andweshallsee,sir,whichcarriestheday——fraudandcorruptionortherightfulheirs……Wehavearightasnextofkintoaffixseals,andsealsshallbeaffixed。Imeantoseethattheprecautionistakenwiththeutmoststrictness。“
　　“Ach,meinGott!howhafIoffendedagainstHefn？”criedtheinnocentSchmucke。
　　“Thereisagooddealoftalkaboutyouinthehouse,“saidLaSauvage。“Whileyouwereasleep,alittlewhipper-snapperinablacksuitcamehere,apuppythatsaidhewasM。Hannequin'shead-clerk,andmustseeyouatallcosts;butasyouwereasleepandtiredoutwiththefuneralyesterday,ItoldhimthatM。Villemot,Tabareau'shead-clerk,wasactingforyou,andifitwasamatterofbusiness,I
　　said,hemightspeaktoM。Villemot。'Ah,somuchthebetter!'theyoungstersaid。'Ishallcometoanunderstandingwithhim。WewilldepositthewillattheTribunal,aftershowingittothePresident。'
　　Soatthat,ItoldhimtoaskM。Villemottocomehereassoonashecould——Beeasy,mydearsir,therearethosethatwilltakecareofyou。Theyshallnotshearthefleeceoffyourback。Youwillhavesomeonethathasbeakandclaws。M。Villemotwillgivethemapieceofhismind。Ihaveputmyselfinapassiononcealreadywiththatabominablehussy,LaCibot,aporter'swifethatsetsuptojudgeherlodgers,forsooth,andinsiststhatyouhavefilchedthemoneyfromtheheirs;
　　youlockedM。Ponsup,shesays,andworkeduponhimtillhewasstark,staringmad。Shegotasgoodasshegave,though,thewretchedwoman。'Youareathiefandabadlot,'Itoldher;'youwillgetintothepolice-courtsforallthethingsthatyouhavestolenfromthegentlemen,'andsheshutup。“
　　TheclerkcameouttospeaktoSchmucke。
　　“Wouldyouwishtobepresent,sir,whenthesealsareaffixedinthenextroom？”
　　“Goon,goon,“saidSchmucke;“Ishallpeallowedtodieinbeace,I
　　bresume？”
　　“Oh,underanycircumstancesamanhasarighttodie,“theclerkanswered,laughing;“mostofourbusinessrelatestowills。But,inmyexperience,theuniversallegateeveryseldomfollowsthetestatortothetomb。“
　　“Iamgoing,“saidSchmucke。Blowafterblowhadgivenhimanintolerablepainattheheart。
　　“Oh!herecomesM。Villemot！”exclaimedLaSauvage。
　　“MennesirFillemod,“saidpoorSchmucke,“rebresentme。“
　　“Ihurriedhereatonce,“saidVillemot。“Ihavecometotellyouthatthewilliscompletelyinorder;itwillcertainlybeconfirmedbythecourt,andyouwillbeputinpossession。Youwillhaveafinefortune。“
　　“/I?/Einfeinvordune？”criedSchmucke,despairingly。Thatheofallmenshouldbesuspectedofcaringforthemoney!
　　“Andmeantimewhatisthejusticeofthepeacedoingherewithhiswaxcandlesandhisbitsoftape？”askedLaSauvage。
　　“Oh,heisaffixingseals……Come,M。Schmucke,youhavearighttobepresent。“
　　“No——goinyourself。“
　　“ButwhereistheuseofthesealsifM。Schmuckeisinhisownhouseandeverythingbelongstohim？”askedLaSauvage,doingjusticeinfemininefashion,andinterpretingtheCodeaccordingtotheirfancy,likeoneandallofhersex。
　　“M。Schmuckeisnotinpossession,madame;heisinM。Pons'house。
　　Everythingwillbehis,nodoubt;butthelegateecannottakepossessionwithoutanauthorization——anorderfromtheTribunal。Andifthenext-of-kinsetasidebythetestatorshoulddisputetheorder,alawsuitistheresult。Andasnobodyknowswhatmayhappen,everythingissealedup,andthenotariesrepresentingeithersideproceedtodrawupaninventoryduringthedelayprescribedbythelaw……Andthereyouare！”
　　Schmucke,hearingsuchtalkforthefirsttimeinhislife,wascompletelybewilderedbyit;hisheadsankdownuponthebackofhischair——hecouldnotsupportit,ithadgrownsoheavy。
　　Villemotmeanwhilewentofftochatwiththejusticeofthepeaceandhisclerk,assistingwithprofessionalcoolnesstoaffixtheseals——aceremonywhichalwaysinvolvessomebuffooneryandplentifulcommentsontheobjectsthussecured,unless,indeed,oneofthefamilyhappenstobepresent。Atlengththepartysealedupthechamberandreturnedtothedining-room,whithertheclerkbetookhimself。Schmuckewatchedthemechanicaloperationwhichconsistsinsettingthejustice'ssealateitherendofabitoftapestretchedacrosstheopeningofafolding-door;or,inthecaseofacupboardorordinarydoor,fromedgetoedgeabovethedoor-handle。
　　“Nowforthisroom,“saidFraisier,pointingtoSchmucke'sbedroom,whichopenedintothedining-room。
　　“ButthatisM。Schmucke'sownroom,“remonstratedLaSauvage,springinginfrontofthedoor。
　　“Wefoundtheleaseamongthepapers,“Fraisiersaidruthlessly;
　　“therewasnomentionofM。Schmuckeinit;itistakenoutinM。
　　Pons'nameonly。Thewholeplace,andeveryroominit,isapartoftheestate。Andbesides“——flingingopenthedoor——“lookhere,monsieurlejugedelapaix,itisfullofpictures。“
　　“Soitis,“answeredthejusticeofthepeace,andFraisierthereupongainedhispoint。
　　“Waitabit,gentlemen,“saidVillemot。“Doyouknowthatyouareturningtheuniversallegateeoutofdoors,andasyethisrighthasnotbeencalledinquestion？”
　　“Yes,ithas,“saidFraisier;“weareopposingthetransferoftheproperty。“
　　“Anduponwhatgrounds？”
　　“Youshallknowthatbyandby,myboy,“Fraisierreplied,banteringly。“Atthismoment,ifthelegateewithdrawseverythingthathedeclarestobehis,weshallraisenoobjections,buttheroomitselfwillbesealed。AndM。Schmuckemaylodgewherehepleases。“
　　“No,“saidVillemot;“M。Schmuckeisgoingtostayinhisroom。“
　　“Andhow？”
　　“Ishalldemandanimmediatespecialinquiry,“continuedVillemot,“andprovethatwepayhalftherent。Youshallnotturnusout。Takeawaythepictures,decideontheownershipofthevariousarticles,butheremyclientstops——'myboy。'“
　　“Ishallgoout！”theoldmusiciansuddenlysaid。Hehadrecoveredenergyduringtheodiousdispute。
　　“Youhadbetter,“saidFraisier。“Yourcoursewillsaveexpensetoyou,foryourcontentionwouldnotbemadegood。Theleaseisevidence——“
　　“Thelease!thelease！”criedVillemot,“itisaquestionofgoodfaith——“
　　“Thatcouldonlybeprovedinacriminalcase,bycallingwitnesses——
　　Doyoumeantoplungeintoexperts'feesandverifications,andorderstoshowcausewhyjudgmentshouldnotbegiven,andlawproceedingsgenerally？”
　　“No,no！”criedSchmuckeindismay。“Ishallturnout;Iamusedtoit——“
　　InpracticeSchmuckewasaphilosopher,anunconsciouscynic,sogreatlyhadhesimplifiedhislife。Twopairsofshoes,apairofboots,acoupleofsuitsofclothes,adozenshirts,adozenbandanahandkerchiefs,fourwaistcoats,asuperbpipegiventohimbyPons,withanembroideredtobacco-pouch——thesewereallhisbelongings。
　　Overwroughtbyafeverofindignation,hewentintohisroomandpiledhisclothesuponachair。
　　“Alldesearemine,“hesaid,withsimplicityworthyofCincinnatus。
　　“Derbianoisalsomine。“
　　FraisierturnedtoLaSauvage。“Madame,gethelp,“hesaid;“takethatpianooutandputitonthelanding。“
　　“Youaretooroughintothebargain,“saidVillemot,addressingFraisier。“Thejusticeofthepeacegivesordershere;heissupreme。“
　　“Therearevaluablesintheroom,“putintheclerk。
　　“Andbesides,“addedthejusticeofthepeace,“M。Schmuckeisgoingoutofhisownfreewill。“
　　“Didanyoneeverseesuchaclient！”Villemotcriedindignantly,turninguponSchmucke。“Youareaslimpasarag——“
　　“Vatdositmatterverevondies？”Schmuckesaidashewentout。“Desemenhaftigerfaces……Ishallsendsomebodytovetchmeinbitsofdings。“
　　“Whereareyougoing,sir？”
　　“VereitshallbleaseGott,“returnedPons'universallegateewithsupremeindifference。
　　“Sendmeword,“saidVillemot。
　　Fraisierturnedtothehead-clerk。“Goafterhim,“hewhispered。
　　Mme。Cantinetwasleftincharge,withaprovisionoffiftyfrancspaidoutofthemoneythattheyfound。Thejusticeofthepeacelookedout;thereSchmuckestoodinthecourtyardlookingupatthewindowsforthelasttime。
　　“Youhavefoundamanofbutter,“remarkedthejustice。
　　“Yes,“saidFraisier,“yes。Thethingisasgoodasdone。YouneednothesitatetomarryyourgranddaughtertoPoulain;hewillbehead-
　　surgeonattheQuinze-Vingts。“TheAsylumfoundedbySt。Louisforthreehundredblindpeople。
　　“Weshallsee——Good-day,M。Fraisier,“saidthejusticeofthepeacewithafriendlyair。
　　“Thereisamanwithaheadonhisshoulders,“remarkedthejustice'sclerk。“Thedogwillgoalongway。“
　　Bythistimeitwaseleveno'clock。TheoldGermanwentlikeanautomatondowntheroadalongwhichPonsandhehadsooftenwalkedtogether。WhereverhewenthesawPons,healmostthoughtthatPonswasbyhisside;andsohereachedthetheatrejustashisfriendTopinardwascomingoutofitafteramorningspentincleaningthelampsandmeditatingonthemanager'styranny。
　　“Oh,shoostderdingforme！”criedSchmucke,stoppinghisacquaintance。“Dopinart!youhafalodgingsomeveres,eh？”
　　“Yes,sir。“
　　“Ahomeoffyourown？”
　　“Yes,sir。“
　　“Areyouvillingtotakemeforeinpoarder?Oh!Ishallpayver'
　　vell;Ihafninehundertvrancsofinkomm,und——Ihafnotver'longterlif……Ishallgifnodroublevatefer……Icaneatonydings——Ionlyvanttoshmokemeinbipe。Und——youarederonlyvondathafshedatearforBons,mitme;undso,Ilofyou。“
　　“Ishouldbeveryglad,sir;but,tobeginwith,M。Gaudissarthasgivenmeaproperwigging——“
　　“/Vigging?/“
　　“Thatisonewayofsayingthathecombedmyhairforme。“
　　“/Combedyourhair?/“
　　“Hegavemeascoldingformeddlinginyouraffairs……Sowemustbeverycarefulifyoucometome。ButIdoubtwhetheryouwillstaywhenyouhaveseentheplace;youdonotknowhowwepoordevilslive。“
　　“Ishouldraderderboorhomeofagoot-heartedmanndothafmournedBons,danderDuileriesmitmendothafeintigerface……IhafchustlefttigersinBons'house;deyvilleatupeverydings——“
　　“Comewithme,sir,andyoushallsee。But——well,anyhow,thereisagarret。LetusseewhatMme。Topinardsays。“
　　Schmuckefollowedlikeasheep,whileTopinardledthewayintooneofthesqualiddistrictswhichmightbecalledthecancersofParis——aspotknownastheCiteBordin。ItisaslumoutoftheRuedeBondy,adoublerowofhousesrunupbythespeculativebuilder,undertheshadowofthehugemassofthePorteSaint-Martintheatre。ThepavementatthehigherendliesbelowtheleveloftheRuedeBondy;
　　attheloweritfallsawaytowardstheRuedesMathurinsduTemple。
　　Followitscourseandyoufindthatitterminatesinanotherslumrunningatrightanglestothefirst——theCiteBordinis,infact,aT-shapedblindalley。Itstwostreetsthusarrangedcontainsomethirtyhouses,sixorsevenstorieshigh;andeverystory,andeveryroomineverystory,isaworkshopandawarehouseforgoodsofeverysortanddescription,forthiswartuponthefaceofParisisaminiatureFaubourgSaint-Antoine。Cabinet-workandbrasswork,theatricalcostumes,blownglass,paintedporcelain——allthevariousfancygoodsknownas/l'articleParis/aremadehere。Dirtyandproductivelikecommerce,alwaysfulloftraffic——foot-passengers,vans,anddrays——theCiteBourdinisanunsavory-lookingneighborhood,withaseethingpopulationinkeepingwiththesqualidsurroundings。
　　Itisanotunintelligentartisanpopulation,thoughthewholepoweroftheintellectisabsorbedbytheday'smanuallabor。Topinard,likeeveryotherinhabitantoftheCiteBourdin,livedinitforthesakeofcomparativelylowrent,thecauseofitsexistenceandprosperity。
　　Hissixthfloorlodging,inthesecondhousetotheleft,lookedoutuponthebeltofgreengarden,stillinexistence,atthebackofthreeorfourlargemansionsintheRuedeBondy。