THEPERFECTBOARDINGHOUSE
  Itisqueer,butCaptainCyhimselfdoesn'trememberwhetherthedaywasTuesdayorWednesday。AsaphTidditt'srecordsoughttosettleit,fortherewasameetingoftheboardofselectmenthatday,andAsaphhasbeentownclerkinBayportsincethesummerbeforetheBaptistmeetinghouseburned。Butontherecordthedate,inAsaph'shandwriting,stands“Tuesday,May10,189-“and,asithappens,May10ofthatyearfellonWednesday,notTuesdayatall。
  KeturahBangs,whokeeps“theperfectboardinghouse,“saysitwasTuesday,becausesherememberstheyhadfriedcodcheeksandcabbagethatday——astheyhaveeveryTuesday——andneitherMr。
  TiddittnorBaileyBangs,Keturah'shusband,wasonhandwhenthedinnerbellrang。KeturahsayssheiscertainitwasTuesday,becausesherememberssmellingtheboiledcabbageasshestoodatthesidedoor,lookinguptheroadtoseeifeitherAsaphorBaileywascoming。AsforBailey,hesaysheremembersbeinglatetodinnerandhiswife's“startin'toheaveabroadsidesintohim“
  becauseofit,buthedoesn'trememberwhatdayitwas。Thisisn'tsurprising;Keturah'sverbalcannonadesarelikelytomakeoneforgetfuloftrifles。
  Atanyrate,whetherTuesdayorWednesday,itiscertainthatitwasquarterpasttwelve,accordingtotheclockpresentedtotheMethodistSocietybytheHonorableHemanAtkins,whenAsaphTiddittcamedownthestepsofthetownhall,aftertheselectmen'smeeting,andsawBaileyBangswaitingforhimontheoppositesideoftheroad。
  “Hello,Ase!”hailedMr。Bangs。“You'llbelatetodinner,ifyoudon'thurry。Iwasheadin'forhome,allsailsot,whenIseeyou。
  Whatkeptyou?”
  “Townbusiness,ofcourse,“repliedMr。Tidditt,withtheimportancepertainingtohisofficialposition。“WhatkeptYOU,forthelandsakes?Won'tKeturybeinyourwool?”
  Baileyhasn'tany“wool“worthmentioningnow,andhehadverylittlemorethen,buthemoppedhisforehead,ortheextensionaboveit,takingoffhiscaptodoso。
  “Ical'lateshewill,“hesaid,uneasily。“Tellyouthetruth,Ase,Iwasuptothestore,andCap'nJosiahDimickandsomemoreof'emdriftedinandwegottalkin'aboutthechancesoftheharborappropriation,andonethingor'nother,and'twaslater'nIthought'twas'foreIknewit。“
  Theappropriationfromthegovernment,whichwastodeepenandwidenourharborhereatBayport,wasaveryvitaltopicamongusjustthen。HemanAtkins,thecongressmanfromourdistrict,hadpromisedtodohisbestfortheappropriation,andhadforatimebeenverysanguineofsecuringit。Recently,however,hehadnotbeenquiteashopeful。
  “What'sCap'nJosiahthinkaboutthechances?”askedAsapheagerly。
  “Well,sometimeshethinks'Yes'andthenagainhethinks'No,'“
  repliedBailey。“Hesays,ofcourse,ifHemanisabletogetithewill,butifheain'tableto,he——he——“
  “Hewon't,Is'pose。Well,_I_canthinkthatmyself,andIdon'tsetuptobenoinspiredknow-it-all,likeJoeDimick。Heain'theardfromHemanlately,hashe?”
  “No,heain't。Neither'sanybodyelse,sofurasIcanfindout。“
  “Oh,yes,theyhave。_I_have,forone。“
  Mr。Bangsstoppedshortinhisdouble-quickmarchforhomeanddinner,andlookedhiscompanionintheface。
  “AseTidditt!”hecried。“Doyoumeantotellmeyou'vehadaletterfromHemanAtkins,fromWashin'ton?”
  Asaphnoddedportentously。
  “Yes,sir,“hedeclared。“AletterfromtheHonorableHemanG。
  Atkins,ofWashin'ton,D。C。,cometomelastnight。IreaditaforeIturnedin。“
  “Youdid!Andneversaidnothin'aboutit?”
  “WhyshouldIsayanythingaboutit?'Twasaddressedtomeastownclerk,andwasconcernin'amattertobetookupwiththeboardofs'lectmen。Iain'tinthehabitofhollerin'townaffairsthroughaspeakin'trumpet。Folksthatvoteformetown-meetin'dayknowthat,Iguess。AngiePhinneysaystomeonlyyesterday,'Mr。
  Tidditt,'saysshe,'there'sonethingI'llsayforyou——youdon'ttalk。'“
  MissPhinneyboardedwiththeBangses,andBaileywasacquaintedwithherpersonalpeculiarities;forthatmattersoweremostofBayport'spermanentresidents。
  “Humph!”hesnortedindignantly。“Shethought'twasagoodthingnottotalk,hey?SHEdid?Well,bymighty!younevergetnoCHANCEtotalkwhenshe'saround。AngiePhinney!Why,whenthatpollparrotofhersdied,Alph'usSmalleydeclaredupanddownthatwhatkilleditwasjealousyanddisapp'intedambition;hesaiditbrokeitshearttryin'tokeepupwithAngie。Hermawasthesamebreedofcats。Iremember——“
  ThetalkingproclivitiesoffemalesistheonetopicuponwhichKeturah'shusbandistouchiest。Asaphknewthis,buthedelightedtostiruphischumoccasionally。Hechuckledasheinterruptedtheflowofreminiscence。
  “There,there,Bailey!”heexclaimed。“IknowasmuchaboutAngie'stribeasyoudo,Ical'late。Ain'twealittlemiteoffthecourse?Seemstomewewastalkin'aboutHeman'sletter。“
  “Isthatso?Ijudgedfromwhatyousaidwewa'n'tgoin'totalkaboutit。Aw,don'tbesomean,Ase!Showin'offyourimportancelikeayoungone!WhatdidHemansayabouttheappropriation?Ishegoin'togetit?”
  Mr。Tiddittpausedbeforereplying。Then,bendingover,hewhisperedinhischum'sear:
  “Heneversaidonewordabouttheappropriation,Bailey;notoneword。Hewantedtoknowifwe'dgotthisyear'staxesontheWhittakerplace。And,ifwehadn't,whatwaswegoin'todoaboutit?Bailey,betweenyouandmeandthemizzenmast,HemanAtkinswantstogetaholdofthatplacetheworstway。“
  “Hedoes?HeDOES?Forthelandsakes,ain'thegotpropertyenoughalready?Ain'ta——apalacelikethatenoughforoneman,withoutwantin'tobuyarattletraplikeTHAT?”
  Thefirst“that“wasemphasizedbyabrandishedbutreverentlefthand;thesecondbyaderisivelypointingright。Thetwofriendshadreachedthecrestofthelongslopeleadingupfromthetownhall。Ononesideoftheroadstretchedtheimposingfrontageofthe“Atkinsestate,“withitsironfenceandstoneposts;ontheotherslouchedtheweed-grown,tumble-downdesolationofthe“CyWhittakerplace。“Thecontrastwasthatofopulentprosperityandpoverty-strickenneglect。
  Ifourvillageboastedoneofthosehorselessjuggernauts,suchasareusedtocarrysightseersinBostonfromtheoldNorthChurchtothePublicLibraryandotherpointsofinterest——thatis,iftherewasa“seeingBayport“car,itisfromthishillthatitsoccupantswouldbegiventheirfinestviewofthevillageanditssurroundings。
  AsCaptainJosiahDimickalwayssays:“Bayportisallnorthandsouth,likeacodfishline。ItputsmeinmindofSethHiggins'soldestboy。Hewassotallandthinthatwhentheyboughtasuitofclothesforhim,theyusedtotakereefsinthesidesofthejacketandusetheclothtopieceontothebottomsofthetrousers'legs。“
  WhatCaptainJoemeansisthatthehousesinthevillageareallbuiltbesidethreeroadsrunninglongitudinally。Thereisthe“mainroad“andthe“upperroad“——or“WoodchuckLane,“justasyouprefer——andthe“lowerroad,“otherwiseknownas“Bassett'sHoller。“
  The“upperroad“issometimescalledthe“depotroad,“becausetherailroadstationisconvenientlylocatedthereon——convenientfortherailroad,thatis——thestationbeingafullmilefromSimmons's“generalstore,“whichisconsideredthecenterofthetown。Theupperroadentersthemainroadatthecornerbythestore,andtherealsoaretheMethodistmeetinghouseandtheschoolhouse。Thetownhallisinthehollowfartheron。Thencomesthebighill——
  “Whittaker'sHill“——andfromthetopofthishillyoucan,onaclearday,seeformilesacrossthesaltmarshesandoverthebaytotheeastward,andwestasfarasthechurchsteepleinOrham。
  Iftherehappenstobeafog,withastrongeasterlywind,youcannotseethemarshesorthebay,butyoucansmellthem,wetandsaltyandsweet。ItisasmellthatthebornBayporterneverforgets,butcarrieswithhiminmemorywhereverhegoes;andthat,inthepalmydaysofthemerchantmarine,waslikely,tobefar,foreverymalebabyinthevillagewasbornwithwebfeet,sopeoplesaid,andwaspredestinedtobeasailor。
  WhenHemanAtkinscamebackfromtheSouthSeasearlyinthe'60's,“richasdockmud,“thoughstillayoungman,hepromptlytoredownhisfather'soldhouse,whichstoodonthecrestofWhittaker'sHill,andbuiltinitsplaceabigimposingresidence。ItwasbyfarthefinesthouseinBayport,andHemanmadeitfinerastheyearspassed。Therewereimitationbrownstonepillarssupportingitsfrontporch,irondogsandscrollworkironbenchesborderingitsfrontwalk,andapairofstoneurns,insummerfilledwithflowers,besideitsbigironfrontgate。
  Hemanwasourleadingcitizen,ourrepresentativeinWashington,andthetown'sphilanthropist。HegavetheAtkinsmemorialwindowandtheAtkinstowerclocktotheMethodistChurch。TheAtkinstownpump,alsohisgift,stoodbeforethetownhall。TheAtkinsportraitintheBayportLadies'Librarywasmuchadmired;andthesizeoftheAtkinsfortunewastheprincipalsubjectofconversationatsewingcircle,atthetableof“theperfectboardinghouse,“
  aroundthestoveinSimmons'sstore,orwhereverBayporterswereusedtogather。WeneverexactlyworshippedHemanAtkins,perhaps,butwefigurativelydoffedourhatswhenhisnamewasmentioned。
  The“CyWhittakerplace“facedtheAtkinsestatefromtheoppositesideofthemainroad,butitwasthegeneralopinionthatitoughttobeashamedtofaceit。Almosteverybodycalledit“theCyWhittakerplace,“althoughsomeoftheyoungersetspokeofitasthe“SeaSightHouse。“Itwasabig,old-fashioneddwelling,gambrel-roofedandbrownanddilapidated。Originallyithadenjoyedthedignifiedseclusionaffordedbyawhitepicketfencewithsquaregateposts,andthepathtoitsseldom-usedfrontdoorhadbeenguardedbyrigidlinesofboxhedge。This,however,wasyearsago,beforethesecondCaptainCyWhittakerdied,andbeforetheHowesfamilyturneditintothe“SeaSightHouse,“ahotelforsummerboarders。
  TheHoweses“improved“thehouseandgrounds。Theytoredownthepicketfence,uprootedtheboxhedges,hungasignoverthesacredfrontdoor,andbuiltawideverandaundertheparlorwindows。
  Theytookboardersforfiveconsecutivesummers;thentheygaveuptheunprofitableundertaking,returnedtoConcord,NewHampshire,theirnativecity,andlefttheCyWhittakerplacetobeartheravagesofBayportwintersandBayportsmallboysasbestitmight。
  Foryearsitstoodempty。Theweedsgrewhighaboutitsfoundations;
  thesparrowsbuiltnestsbehindsuchofitsshuttersashadnotbeenrippedfromtheirhingesbyFebruaryno'theasters;itsroofgrewbaldinspotsastheshinglesloosenedandwereblownaway;theswallowsflewinandoutofitsstone-brokenwindowpanes。YearbyyearitbecamemoreofadisgraceintheeyesofBayport'sneatandthriftyinhabitants——forneatandthriftyweare,ifwedosayit。
  Theselectmenwouldhavelikedtotearitdown,buttheycouldnot,becauseitwasprivateproperty,havingbeenpurchasedfromtheHowesheirsbythethirdCyWhittaker,CaptainCy'sonlyson,whoranawaytoseawhenhewassixteenyearsold,andwasdisinheritedandcastoffbytheproudoldskipperinconsequence。EachMarch,AsaphTidditt,inhisofficialcapacityastownclerk,hadbeenaccustomedtoreceiveanenvelopewithaSouthAmericanpostmark,andinthatenvelopewasadraftonaBostonbankinghouseforthesumdueastaxesonthe“CyWhittakerplace。“Thedraftsweresigned“CyrusM。Whittaker。“
  Butthisparticularyear——theyearinwhichthischroniclebegins——
  nodrafthadbeenreceived。Asaphwaitedafewweeksandthenwrotetotheaddressindicatedbythepostmark。Hisletterwasunanswered。ThetaxesweredueinMarchanditwasnowMay。Mr。
  Tiddittwroteagain;thenhelaidthecasebeforetheboardofselectmen,andCaptainEbenSalters,chairmanofthataugustbody,alsowrote。ButevenCaptainEben'sauthoritativedemandwasignored。Nexttotheharborappropriation,thequestionofwhatshouldbedoneaboutthe“CyWhittakerplace“filledBayport'sthoughtsthatspring。Noone,however,hadsupposedthattheHonorableHemanmightwishtobuyit。BaileyBangs'ssurprisewasexcusable。
  “Whatintheworld,“repeatedBailey,“doesHemanwantofashebanglikethat?Ain'thegotenoughalready?”
  Hisfriendshookhishead。
  “'Pearsnot,“hesaid。“Ijudgeit'sthisway,Bailey:Heman,he'saproudman——“
  “Well,ain'thegotarighttobeproud?”brokeinMr。Bangs,hasteningtoresentanycriticismofthepopularidol。“Cal'lateyouandme'dbeproudifwewasabletocarryasmuchsailashedoes,wouldn'twe?”
  “Yes,Iguesslikewewould。Butyouneedn'tgetredinthefaceandstrainyourbilerjustbecauseIsaidthat。Iain'tfindingfaultwithHeman;I'monlytellin'you。He'sproud,asIsaid,andhiswife——“
  “She'sdeadthisfouryear。Whatareyouresurrectin'herfor?”
  “Land!you'repepperyasaWestInjyomeletthismornin'。LetmealonetillI'vefinished。Hiswife,whenshewasalive,shewasproud,too。Andhisdaughter,Alicia,she'seightyearoldnow,andbyandbyshe'llbegrownupintoahigh-tonedyoungwoman。
  Well,Hemanisfur-sighted,andIs'poselikelyhe'sthinkin'ofthedayswhenthere'llbeyoungrichfellers——senatorsand——and——
  well,countsandlords,maybe——cruisin'downherecourtin'her。BythattimetheWhittakerplace'llbeaworsedisgracethan'tisnow。
  Ipresumehedon'twantthoseswellstositonhisfrontpiazzaandseethecrowsbuildin'nestsintheruinsacrosttheroad。So——“
  “Crows!Didyoueverseeacrowbuildanestinahouse?Ineverdid!”
  “Oh,belay!Crowsorcanarybirds,whatdifferencedoesitmake?
  SOMETHIN''llnestthere,ifit'sonlyA'ntSophronyHallett'shens。SoHemanhewritestotheboard,askin'ifthetaxesispaid,ifwe'veheardanyreasonwhytheyain'tpaid,andwhatwe'regoin'todoaboutit。Ifthere'sasalefortaxeshewantstobefustbidder。Then,whentheplaceishis,hecanteardownorrebuild,justasheseesfit。See?”
  “Yes,Isee。Well,IfeelaboutthatthewayJoeDimickfeltwhenheheardthedoctorhadtoldElviryPeppershemuststopsingin'inthechoirorlosehervoicealtogether。'Whicheverhappens'llbeanimprovement,'saysCap'nJoe;andwhateverHemandoes'llhelptheWhittakerplace。Whatdidyoudecideatthemeetin'?”
  “Nothin'。Wecan'tdecideyet。Weain'tsureaboutthelawandwewanttowaitaspell,anyhow。ButIknowhow'twillend:Atkins'llgettheplace。Healwaysgetswhathewants,Hemandoes。“
  Baileyturnedandlookedbackattheoldhouse,forlornamidstitshuddleofblackberrybriersandweeds,andwiththeubiquitous“silver-leaf“saplingsspringingupinclusterseverywhereaboutitandclosinginonitsdefenselesswallslikesquadsofvictorioussoldierymakingthefinalchargeuponaconqueredfort。
  “Well,“sighedMr。Bangs,“sothat'llbetheendoftheoldWhittakerplace,hey?Sho!thingschangeinafeller'slifetime,don'tthey?Youandmecanremember,Ase,whenCap'nCyWhittakerwasoneofthebiggestmenwehadinthistown。Sowashisdadaforehim,theCap'nCythatbuiltthehouse。Iwonderthelooksofthingsherenowdon'tbringthemtwoupoutoftheirgraves。DoyourememberyoungCy——'Whit'weusedtocallhim——or'ReddyWhit,'
  'countofhisredhair?Idon'tknow'syoudo,though;guessyou'dgonetoseawhenherunawayfromhome。“
  Mr。Tiddittshookhishead。
  “No,no!”hesaid。“Iwastohomethatyear。Remember'Whit'?
  Well,IshouldsayIdid。Hewasaholyterror——yes,sir!Wan'tnomonkeyshinesordidoscutupinthistownthatyoungCywan'tinto。Fur'sthatgoes,youandmewasin'em,too,Bailey。Wewasallholyterrorsthen。Youngonesnowadaysain'tgotthespunkweusedtohave。“
  Hisfriendchuckled。
  “That'sso,“hedeclared。“That'sso。Whitwasagood-heartedboy,too,butfulloftheOldScratchandassotinhiswaysashisdad,andifCap'nCywan'tsot,thenthereain'tnosotness。
  'You'llgotocollegeandbeaparson,'saystheCap'n。'I'llgotoseaandbeasailor,sameasyoudone,'saysWhit。Andhedid,too;runawayonenight,tookthepackettoBoston,andshippedaboardanAustralianclipper。Cap'nCydidn'tgoafterhimtofetchhimhome。No,sir——ee!notafetch。SenthimaletterplumbtoMelbourneand,sayshe:'You'vemadeyourbed;nowlayinit。
  Don'tyouneverdasttocomebacktomeoryourma,'hesays。AndWhitdidn't,hewan'tthatkind。“
  “Prettynighkilledtheoldlady——Whit'sma——thatdid,“musedAsaph。“Shediedalittlespellafterwards。Andtheoldmanpinedaway,too,buthenevergiveinoraskedtheboytocomeback。
  Stubbornasallget-outtotheend,hewas,andwilledtheplace,allhehadleft,tothemHowesfolks。AndanicemessTHEYmadeofit。YoungCy,he——“
  “YoungCy!”interruptedBailey。“We'realwayscallin'him'youngCy,'andyet,whenyoucometothinkofit,hemustbeprettynighfifty-fivenow;'mostasoldasyouandIbe。Wonderifhe'llevercomebackhere。“
  “Youbethewon't!”wastheoracularreply。“Youbethewon't!
  FromwhatIhearhegottobeaseacap'nhimselfandsettleddownthereinBuenosAyres。He'smadeallkindsofmoney,theysay,outofhidesandsuch。Whatheeverboughthisdad'soldplacefor,_I_can'tsee。He'llnevercomebacktothesecommon,one-horselatitudes,nowyoumarkmywordonthat!”
  ItwasaprophecyMr。Tiddittwasaccustomedtomakeeachyeartothecrowdatthepostoffice,whenthereceiptforthedraftfortaxescausedhimtowaxreminiscent。TheyoungergenerationhereinBayportregardtheirtownclerkassomethingofanoracle,andthisregardhasmadeAsaphatriflevainandpositive。
  Baileychuckledagain。
  “WeWASaspunky,dare-devillotintheolddays,wan'twe,Ase?”
  hesaid。“Spunkwaskindofborninus,asyoumightsay。Andevennowwe're——“
  TheAtkinstowerclockboomedonce——asolemn,dignifiedstroke。
  Mr。Tiddittandhiscompanionstartedandlookedateachother。
  “Godfreyscissors!”gaspedAsaph。“Isthathalfpasttwelve?”
  Mr。Bangspulledabigwornsilverwatchfromhispocketandglancedatthedial。
  “Itis!”hemoaned。“Assure'syou'reborn,itis!We'vekeptKetury'sdinnerwaitin'twentyminutes。Youandmeareinforitnow,AseTidditt!Twentyminuteslate!She'llskinusalive。“
  Mr。Tiddittdidnotpausetoanswer,butplungedheadlongdownthehillatarace-horsegait,Baileypoundingathisheels。For“borndare-devils,“self-confessed,theywereanervousandapprehensivepair。
  The“perfectboardinghouse“issituatedaquarterofamilebeyond“Whittaker'sHill,“nearlyoppositetheSaltershomestead。Thesign,hungonthepolebythefrontgate,reads,“BayportHotel。
  BaileyBangs,Proprietor,“butnooneexceptthestrangerinBayportacceptsthatsignseriously。When,owingtoanunexpectedchangeintheadministrationatWashington,Mr。Bangswasobligedtorelinquishhispositionasourvillagepostmaster,hiswifecametotherescuewiththeproposalthattheyopenaboardinghouse。
  “'Whatsoe'eryoufindtodo,'quotedKeturahatsewing-circlemeeting,'doitthenwithallyourmight!'That'sagoodSabbath-
  schoolhymntuneandit'sgoodsensebesides。Iintendtomakeitmylifeworktorunjustascompletea——aeatin'andlodgin'
  establishmentasIcan。If,whenI'mlaidtorest,theycanputontomygravestone,'Sheruntheperfectboardin'house,'I'LLbesatisfied。“
  Thisremark,andsubsequentsimilardeclarations,werewidelyquoted,and,therefore,thoughcasualvisitorsmayrefertothe“BayportHotel,“tousnativestheBangsresidenceisalways“Keturah'sperfectboardinghouse。“Asforthesign'saffirmationofMr。Bangsproprietorship,thatisconsideredthecreamofthejoke。Theideaofmeek,bald-headedlittleBaileyposingasproprietorofanythingwhilehiswifeisondeck,ticklesBayport'ssenseofhumor。
  Theperspiringdelinquentspantedintotheyardoftheperfectboardinghouseandtremblinglyopenedthedoorleadingtothediningroom。Dinnerwaswellunderway,andMrs。Bangs,enthronedattheendofthelongtable,behindthesilver-platedteapot,waswaitingtoreceivethem。Thesilencewasappalling。
  “Sorrytobealittlebehindhand,Ketury,“stammeredAsaphhurriedly。
  “Townaffairsareimportant,ofcourse,andcan'tbeneglected。I——“
  “Yes,yes;that'sso,Ketury,“cutinMr。Bangs。
  “Yousee——“
  “Hum!Yes,Isee。“Keturah'stonewasseveraldegreesbelowfreezing。“Hum!Is'pose'twastownaffairskeptyou,too,hey?”
  “Well,well——er——notexactly,asyoumightsay,but——“Baileysqueezedhimselfintothearmchairattheendofthetableoppositehiswife,theendwhich,withsarcasmnotthelesskeenforbeingunintentional,wascalledthe“head。““Notexactlytownaffairs,'twan'tthatkeptme,Ketury,but——My!don'tthemcodcheekssmellgood?Youalwayscouldcookcodcheeks,ifIdosayit。“
  Thecomplimentwaswasted。Mrs。Bangshadasermontodeliver,anditstextwasnot“codcheeks。“
  “BaileyBangs,“shebegan,“whenIwasbroughttorealizethatmyhusband,althoughapparentlyanable-bodiedman,couldn'tsupportmeasI'dbeenusedtobesupported,andwhenIwasforcedtosupportHIMbykeepin'boarders,Isays,'Ifthere'sonethingthatmyhouseshallstandforit'spunctualpromptnessatmealtimes。I
  saynothing,'Isays,'abouttheinconvenienceofgettin'onwithonlyonehiredhelpwhenweoughttohavethree。IfProvidence,initsunscrutablewisdom,'Isays,'hasseenfittolaythisburdenontome,theburdenofahouseholdofboardersandahusbandwhom——'“
  AndjustthenthepowerreferredtobyMrs。Bangsintervenedtospareherhusbandtheremainderofthepreachment。Fromthedrivewayoftheyard,besidethedining-roomwindows,cametherattleofwheelsandthetrampofahorse'sfeet。Mrs。MatildaTripp,whosatnearestthewindows,onthatside,roseandpeeredout。
  “It'sthedepotwagon,Ketury,“shesaid。“There'ssomebodyinsideit。Iwonderifthey'recomin'here。“
  “Transients“werealmostunknownquantitiesattheBayportHotelinMay。Consequently,alltheboardersandthelandladyherselfcrowdedtothewindows。The“depotwagon“haddrawnupbythesteps,andGabeLumley,thedriver,haddescendedfromhisseatandwasdoinghisbesttoopenthedooroftheancientvehicle。Itstuck,ofcourse;thedoorsofalldepotwagonsstick。
  “Holdonashake!”commandedsomeoneinsidethecarriage。“WaittillIgetapurchaseonher。Now,then!Allhandstotheropes!
  Heave——ho!THEREshecomes!”
  Thedoorflewbackwithabang。Amansprangoutuponthelowerstepoftheporch。Theeyeofeveryinmateoftheperfectboardinghousewasonhim。Eventhe“hiredhelp“peeredfromthekitchendoor。
  “He'sastranger,“whisperedMrs。Tripp。“Ineverseehimbefore,didyou,Mr。Tidditt?”
  Thetownclerkdidnotanswer。Hewasstaringatthedepotwagon'spassenger,staringwithafacetheinterestedexpressionofwhichwaschangingtothatofsurpriseandamazedincredulity。Mrs。
  TrippturnedtoMr。Bangs;healsowasstaring,open-mouthed。
  “Godfreyscissors!”gaspedAsaph,underhisbreath。“Godfrey——
  SCISSORS!Bailey,I——Ibelieve——Iswantoman,Ibelieve——“
  “AseTidditt!”exclaimedMr。Bangs,“amIgoin'looney,oristhat——
  isthat——“
  Neitherfinishedhissentence。Therearetimeswhenlanguageseemssopitifullyinadequate。
  CHAPTERII
  THEWANDERER'SRETURN
  HereinBayport,nowadays,thecollectingof“antiques“isafavoriteamusementofoursummervisitors。Thoseofuswhowerefortunateenoughtopossessasetofnickedbluedishes,awarmingpan,oratallclockwithwoodenwheels,havelongagopartedwiththesetreasuresforconsiderablesums。OddlyenoughSylvanusCahoonhasprofitedmostbythiscraze。Sylvanususedtobejudgedtheunluckiestmanintown;oflatethisjudgmenthasbeenrevised。
  ItwasSylvanuswho,confinedtothehousebyanillnessbroughtonbyeatingtoomuch“sugarcake“atafreesociablegivenbytheMethodistSociety,aroseinthenightanddrankcopiouslyofwhathesupposedtobethemedicineleftbythedoctor。Ithappenedtobewater-bugpoison,andSylvanuswasnearlykilledbythedose。
  Heisreportedashavingadmittedthathe“didn'tminddyin'somuch,buthatedtodiesuchadummeandeath。“
  Whileconvalescenthetooktosmokinginbedandwasburnedoutofhouseandhomeinconsequence。Thenitwasthathiskind-heartedfellowcitizensdonated,forthefurnishingofhisnewresidence,allthecast-offbitsoffurnitureandoddsandendsfromtheirgarrets。“Charity,“observedCaptainJosiahDimickatthetime,“beginsathomewithusBayporters,anditgenerallybeginsupattic,thatbein'nighesttoheaven。“
  LaterSylvanussoldmostofthedonationsas“antiques“andmademoneyenoughtherefromtobuyanewplushparlorset。MissAngelinePhinneynevercalledontheCahoonsafterthatwithoutmakingherappearanceatthefrontdoor。“I'llgetsomegoodoutofthatplushsofyIhelpedtopayfor,“declaredAngeline,“ifit'sonlytowearitoutbysettin'onit。“
  Therearetwo“antiques“inBayportwhichhavenotyetbeensoldorevenbidfor。OneisGabeLumley's“depotwagon,“andtheotheris“Dan'lWebster,“thehorsewhichdrawsit。Bothareveryancient,sadlyinneedofupholstery,andjerkyoflocomotion。
  Gabewas,asusual,waitingatthestationwhenthedowntrainarrived,ontheTuesday——orWednesday——oftheselectmen'smeeting。
  Thetrainwasdue,accordingtothetime-table,atelevenforty-
  five。Thistime-table,andthesignboardofthe“BayportHotel“
  aretheonlybitsofhumorousliteraturepeculiartoourvillage,unlessweaddthepoliticaleditorialsoftheBayportBreeze。
  So,atelevenforty-five,Mr。Lumleywasserenelydozingonthebaggagetruck,whichhehadwheeledtothesunnysideoftheplatform。Atfiveminutespasttwelve,heyawned,stretched,andlookedathiswatch。Then,rollingoffthetruck,hestrolledtotheedgeoftheplatformandspokeauthoritativelyto“Dan'lWebster。“
  “Hithere!standstill!”commandedMr。Lumley。
  StandingstillbeingDan'l'slongsuit,theorderwasobeyed。
  Gabethenloafedtothedoorofthestationandaccostedthedepotmaster,whowasnoddinginhischairbesidethetelegraphinstrument。
  “Whereisshenow,Ed?”askedMr。Lumley,referringtothetrain。
  “JustleftSouthHarniss。Behereprettysoon。What'syourhurry?
  Expectin'anybody?”
  “Naw;nobodythatIknowof,special。SophronyHallett'sgonetoOstable,butshewon'tbebacktillto-morrowIcal'late。Hello!
  thereshewhistlesnow。“
  Needlesstosayitwasthetrain,notthewidowHallett,thathadwhistled。Thedepotmasterrosefromhischair。Ayellowdog,hisproperty,scrambledfrombeneathit,andrushingoutofthedoorandtothefartherendoftheplatform,barkedfuriously。CephasBaker,wholivesacrosstheroadfromthedepot,sloucheddowntohisfrontgate。Hiswifeopenedthedoorofherkitchenandstoodthere,herwetarmswrappedinherapron。ThefiveBakerchildrentoreroundthecornerofthehouse,overthebackfence,andlinedup,whoopingjoyously,ontheplatform。Acloudofwhitesmokebillowedabovetheclumpofcedarsatthebendofthetrack。Thenthelocomotiveroundedthecurveandboredownuponthestation。
  “Standstill,Itellyou!”shoutedGabe,addressingthehorse。
  Dan'lWebsteropenedoneeye,closeditandrelapsedintoslumber。
  Thetrain,acombinationbaggagecarandsmoker,twofreightcarsandapassengercoach,rolledponderouslyalongsidetheplatform。
  Fromtheopendoorofthebaggagecarweretossedthemailsackandtwoexpresspackages。Theconductorsteppedfromthepassengercoach。Followinghimcamebrisklyashort,thicksetmanwithareddish-graybeardandgrayish-redhair。
  “Goin'downtothevillage,Mister?”inquiredMr。Lumley。“Carriagerighthere。“
  Thestrangerinspectedthedriverofthedepotwagon,inspectedhimdeliberatelyfromtoptotoe。Thenhesaid:
  “Downtothevillage?Why,yes,Iwouldn'twonder。Say!you'reaLumley,ain'tyou?”
  “Why!why——yes,Ibe!How'dyouknowthat?Ain'teverseenyouafore,haveI?”
  “Guessnot,“withaquietchuckle。“I'veneverseenyou,either,butI'veseenyournose。I'dknowaLumleynoseifIrunacrossitinChina。“
  Thepossessorofthe“Lumleynose“rubbedthatorganinabewilderedfashion。Recoveringinameasurehelaughed,ratherhalf-heartedly,andbeggedtoknowifthetrunk,thenbeingunloadedfromthebaggagecar,belongedtohisprospectivepassenger。Astheanswerwasanaffirmativenod,hesecuredthetrunkcheckanddeparted,stillrubbinghisnose。
  Whenhereturned,withthetrunkonthetruck,hefoundthestranger,withhishandsinhispockets,standingbeforeDan'lWebsterandgazingatthatanimalwithanexpressionofacuteinterest。
  “Isthisyour——horse?”demandedthenewcomer,pausingbeforethefinalwordofhisquestion。
  “It'ssocal'latedtobe,“repliedGabe,withdignity。
  “Hum!Doesheworknights?”
  “Worknights?No,coursehedon't!”
  “Oh,allright!Thenyoucanwakehimupwithaclearconscience。
  Ididn'tknowbutheneededthesleep。What'shisrecord?”
  “Record?”
  “Yup;histrottin'record。Anybodycanseehe'sbuiltforspeed,narrowinthebeamandsharpforeandaft。ShallIgetaboardthebarouche?”
  Thedepotmaster,whowasonhandtohelpwiththetrunk,grinnedbroadly。Mr。Lumleysulkilymadeanswerthathispassengermightgetaboardifhewantedto。Apparentlyhewantedto,forhesprangintothedepotwagonwithabouncethatmadetheoldvehiclerockonitssprings。
  “Jerushy!”heexclaimed,“sherollssome,don'tshe?Nevermind,MYballast'llkeepheronanevenkeel。Trunkmadefastastern?
  Allright!Say!youmightfurlsomeofthissparecanvasso'sI
  cantakeanobservationaswegoalong。Don'tgosofastthatthescenerygetsblurred,willyou?It'sbeensometimesinceImadethiscruise,andI'dratherliketokeepalookout。“
  Thedriver“furledthecanvas“——thatis,herolledupthecurtainsatthesidesofthecarryall。Thenheclimbedtothefrontseatandtookupthereins。
  “Gitup!”heshoutedsavagely。Dan'lWebsterdidnotmove。
  Thepassengerofferedasuggestion。“Whydon'tyoutryhangin'analarmclockinhisfore-riggin'?”heasked。
  “Haw!haw!”roaredthedepotmaster。
  “Gitup,you——youlump!”bellowedtheharassedMr。Lumley。Dan'lprickeduponeear,thenahoof,andslowlygotunderway。AstheequipagepassedtheBakerhomestead,thewholefamilywasclusteredaboutthegate,staringattheoccupantofthewagon。Thestarewasreturned。
  “Wholivesinthere?”demandedthestranger。“Whoarethosefolks?”
  “CephBaker'stribe,“wasthesullenanswer。
  “Baker,hey?Humph!newfolks,Ipresumelikely。UsedtobeSethSnow'shouse,thatdid。Where'dSethgoto?”
  Gabegruntedthathedidnotknow。HebelievedMr。Snowwasdead,haddiedyearsbefore。
  “Humph!dead,hey?ThenIknowwherehewent。Doyoueversmoke——
  ordoesdrivin'thishorsemakeyoutoonervous?”
  Mr。Lumleythawedabitatthesightoftheprofferedcigar。Headmittedthathesmokedoccasionallyandthatheguessed“'twouldn'tinterferewiththedrivin'none。“
  “Goodenough!thenwe'lllightup。IcantalkbetterifI'munderaheadofsteam。There'sanewhouse;whobuiltthat?”
  The“new“housewasfifteenyearsold,butGabegavethenameofitsbuilder。Then,thinkingthatthecatechisinghadbeenaltogethertooone-sided,heventuredanobservationofhisown。
  “Thisisaprettygoodcigar,Mister,“hesaid。“SmokeslikeaSnowflake。“
  “Likeawhat?”
  “LikeaSnowflake。That'saboutthebeststraightfivecenteryoucangetaroundhere。Simmonsusedtokeep'em,butthedrummer'scartain'tcalledlatelyandhe'sallout。“
  “That'sashame。Itoldthetrainboythatthesesmokedlikesomethin',butIdidn'tknowwhattocallit。Muchobligedtoyou。
  Here'sanother;putitinyourpocket。Oh,nothanks;pleasure'sallmine。Who'sSimmons?”
  GabedescribedtheSimmonsgeneralstoreanditsproprietor。Thenheadded:
  “Iwasnoticin'thattrunkofyours,mister;it'sallplasteredoverwithlabels,ain'tit?Cal'latethattrunk'sdonesometravelin',hey?”
  “Thinkso,doyou?”
  “Yup。Gee!I'dliketotravelmyself。Butno!Igottostayallmylifeinthisdead'n'alivehole。IwantedtogotoBostonandclerkinastore,buttheoldmanputhisfootdown,andhereI'vestuckeversence。Gitup,Dan'l!What'sthematterwithyou?”
  Thepassengersmiled,buttherewasadreamylookinhisgrayeyes。
  “Don'tfindfault,son,“hesaid。“There'sworseplacesintheworldthanoldBayport,andworsejudgmentthanmindin'yourdad。
  Don'tforgetthatoryoumaybesorryforitsomeday。“Hesniffedeagerly。“Ah!”heexclaimed,“justsmellthat,willyou?Ain'tthatFINE?”
  “Humph!that'stheflats。Youcansmell'emanytimewhenthetide'soutandthewind'sright。Yousee,thetidegoesoutprettyfurhereand——“
  “Don'tIknowit?Son,I'vebeenwaitin'thirtyoddyearforthatsmellandhere'tisatlast。Driveslowandletmefilluponit。
  Justblowthat——thatSnowstormofyourstheotherwayforaspell,won'tyou?Thanks。“
  TherequesttobedrivenslowwassosuperfluousthatMr。Lumleypaidnoattentiontoit。HepuffedindustriouslyattheSnowflakeandwatchedhiscompanion,who,leaningforwardontheseat,wasgazingoutatthetownandthebaybeyondit。The“depothill“isnotashighasWhittaker'sHill,buttheviewisalmostasextensive。
  “Excuseme,Mister,“observedGabe,afteraninterval,“butyouain'tsaidwhereyou'regoin'。“
  Thepassengercameoutofhisdaydreamwithastart。
  “Why,that'sright!”heexclaimed。“SoIhaven't!Well,now,wherewouldyougo,ifyouwasme?Isthereahotelortavernorsomethin'?”
  “Yup。There'stheBayportHotel。'Tain'texactlyahotel,neither。
  Wecallittheperfectboardin'house'roundhere。Yousee——“
  Heproceededtotellthestoryof“theperfectboardinghouse。“
  Hislistenerseemedgreatlyinterested,andalthoughhelaughed,didnotinterruptuntilthetalewasended。
  “So!”hesaid,chuckling。“BaileyBangs,hey?StubBangs!Well,well!AndhemarriedKeturyPayson!Howintimedidheeverfindspunkenoughtopropose?AndKeturyrunstheperfectboardin'
  house!Well,thatoughttobejobenoughforonewoman。SherunsBailey,too,ontheside,Is'pose?”
  “Youbetyou!Hedon'tdasttosay'boo'toachickenwhenshe's'round。Isay,Mister!Idon'tknow'sIknowyourname,doI?I
  judgeyou'vebeenhereaforeso——“
  “Yes,I'vebeenherebefore。Whoseisthatbigplaceupthereacrossourbows?Theonewiththecupolaonthemaintruck?”
  “That,sir,“saidMr。Lumley,oratorically,“belongstotheHonorableHemanG。Atkins,andit'sprobablythefinestinthiscounty。HemanisourrepresentativeinWashin'ton,and——Didyousayanything?”
  Thepassengerhadsaidsomething,buthedidnotrepeatit。Hewasleaningfromthecarriageandgazingsteadilyuptheslopeahead。
  Andhisgaze,strangetosay,wasnotdirectedattheimposingAtkinsestate,butatitsoppositeneighbor,theold“CyWhittakerplace。“
  Slowly,laboriously,Dan'lWebstermountedthehill。Atthecresthewouldhavepausedtotakebreath,butthedriverwouldnotlethim。
  “Gitalong,you!”hecommanded,flappingthereins。
  AndthenMr。Lumleysufferedtheshockofasurprise。Thehithertocoolandself-possessedoccupantoftherearseatseemedverymuchexcited。HisbigredhandclaspedMr。Lumley'soverthereins,andDan'lwasbroughttoanabruptstandstill。
  “Heaveto!”heordered,sharply,andthetonewasthatofonewhohasgivenmanyordersandexpectsthemtobeobeyed。“Belay!
  Whoa,there!Greatlandoflove!lookatthat!LOOKatit!Whodidthat?”
  ThematetothebigredhandpointedtothefrontdooroftheWhittakerplace。Gabewasalarmed。
  “Donewhat?Donewhich?”hegasped。“Whatyoutalkin'about?
  Thereain'tnobodylivesinthere。Thathousehasbeenemptyfor——“
  “Where'sthefrontfence?”demandedtheexcitedpassenger。“What'sbecomeofthehedge?Andwhoputupthat——thatdarnedpiazza?”
  ThepiazzahadbeenwhereitnowwasalmostsinceMr。Lumleycouldremember。Hehastenedtoreplythathedidn'tknow;hewasn'tsure;hepresumedlikely'twas“themNewHampshireHoweses,“whentheyranasummerboardinghouse。
  Thestrangerdrewalongbreath。“Well,ofallthe——“hebegan。
  Thenhechoked,hesitated,andorderedhisdrivertoheaveaheadandrunalongsidethehotelasquickastheAlmightywouldlethim。
  Gabehastenedtoobey。Hewasnowabsolutelycertainthathiscompanionwasanescapedlunatic,andthesooneranotherkeeperwasappointedthebetter。Theremainderofthetripwasmadeinsilence。
  Mrs。Bangsopenedthedooroftheperfectboardinghouseandstoodmajesticallywaitingtoreceivetheprospectiveguest。Overhershoulderspeeredthefacesoftheboarders。
  “Goodafternoon,“beganthelandlady。“Ipresumelikelyyouwouldliketo——“
  Shewasinterrupted。Thenewcomerturnedtowardherandextendedhishand。
  “Hello,Ketury!”hesaid。“Iain'tseenyousenceyouworeyourhairup,butyou'rejustasgood-lookin'asever。Andain'tthatBailey?Yes,'tis,andAsaph,too!Howareyou,boys?Shake!”
  Mr。Bangsandhischum,thetownclerk,hademergedfromthedoorway。Theirmouthsandeyeswerewideopenandtheyseemedtobesufferingfromasortofparalysis。
  “Well?What'sthematterwithyou?”demandedthearrival。“Ain'ttoostuckuptoshakehandsafteralltheseyears,areyou?”
  Bailey'smouthclosedinorderthatit'spossessormightswallow。
  Thenitslowlyreopened。
  “Iswantoman!”heejaculated。“WELL!Iswantoman!I——Ib'lieveyou'reCyWhittaker!”
  “CourseIam。HavetodyemycarrottopifIwanttoplayanybodyelse。Butlookhere,boys,youanswermyquestion:whohadthecheektorigupthatblastedpiazzaonmyhouse?Itstartstocomedownto-morrowmornin'!”
  CHAPTERIII
  “FIXIN'OVER“
  MissAngelinePhinneymadenolessthanninecallsthatafternoon。
  Beforebedtimeitwasknown,fromthelasthouseinWoodchuckLanetothefishshantiesatWestBayport,that“youngCy“Whittakerhadcomeback;thathehadcomeback“forgood“;thathewasstayingtemporarilyattheperfectboardinghouse;thathewas“awfulwelloff“——havingmadelotsofmoneydowninSouthAmerica;thatheintendedto“fixover“theWhittakerplace,andthatitwastobefixedover,notinamodernmanner,withplushparlorsets——alaSylvanusCahoon——norwithonyxtablesandblueandgoldchairslikethoseadorningtheAtkinsmansion。Itwastobe,asnearaspossible,areproductionofwhatithadbeeninthetimeofthelate“Cap'nCy,“youngCy'sfather。
  “_I_thinkhe'soutofhishead,“declaredMissPhinney,inconfidence,toeachoftheninefemaleswhomshefavoredwithhercalls。“Notcrazy,youunderstand,butsortoftouchedintheupperstory。IsayssotoMatildyTripp,saiditrightout,too:
  'Matildy,'Isays,'he'sgotascrewlooseupaloftjustassureasyou'reabornwoman!''Whatmakesyouthinkso?'saysshe。
  'Well,'saysI,'doyous'poseanybodythatwan'tfoolishwouldbeforspendin'goodmoneyonanoldhousetomakeitOLDER?'Isays。
  Goin'toteardownthepiazzathefustthing!Perfectlygoodpiazzathatcostninety-eightdollarsandsixtycentstobuild;I
  know,becauseIseethebillwhentheHoweseshaditdone。Andhe'sgoin'tosetoutboxhedges,somethin'thatain'tbeenthestyleinthistownsenceCongressmanAtkinspulleduphis。'Whatintheworld,Cap'nWhittaker,'saysItohim,'doyouwantofboxhedges?Homelyandstiffandfunerallookin'!Imighthave'emaroundmygraveintheburyin'ground,'Isays,'butnowhereselse。''Allright,Angie,'sayshe,'youshallhave'emthere;
  I'llcutsomeslipspurposeforyou。It'llbeapleasure,'hesays。Nowain'tthatcrazytalkforagrownman?”
  MissPhinneywasnottheonlyoneinourvillagetoquestionCaptainCyWhittaker'ssanityduringthenextfewmonths。Themajorityofourpeopledidn'tunderstandhimatall。Hewasgenerallyliked,foralthoughhehadmoney,hedidnotputonairs,buthehadhisownwayofdoingthings,andtheywerenotBayportways。
  Truetohispromise,hehadasquadofcarpentersbusy,onthedayfollowinghisarrival,tearingdowntheloathedpiazza。Thesecarpenters,andmore,werekeptbusythroughoutthatentirespringandwellintothesummer。Thencamepaintersandgardeners。Thepiazzadisappeared;anewpicketfence,exactlyliketheoldonetorndownbytheHoweses,waserected;newshutterswerehung;newwindowpaneswereset;theroofwasnewlyshingled。CaptainCy,Senior,had,inhisday,cherishedaNewEnglandfondnessforwhiteandgreenpaint;thereforethenewfencewaswhiteandthehousewaswhiteandtheblindsabrilliantgreen。Rowsofboxhedge,theplantsbroughtfromBoston,weresetoutoneachsideofthefrontwalk。TheHowesfront-doorbell——aclamorousgong——wasremoved,andaglassknobattachedtoaspringbelloftheold-fashioned“jingle“varietytookitsplace。Anold-fashionedflowergarden——
  Cap'nCy'smotherhadlovedposies——waslaidoutonthewestlawnbeyondthepeartrees。Allthesechangesthecaptainsuperintended;
  whentheywerecompleteheturnedhisattentiontointeriordecoration。
  AndnowCaptainCyproceededto,literally,astonishthenatives。
  AmongtheHowes“improvements“weregiltwallpapersandmodernfurnitureforthelowerfloorofthehouse。Thefurnituretheyhadtakenwiththem;thewallpaperhadperforcebeenleftbehind。Andthecaptainhadeveryscrapofthatpaperstrippedfromthewalls,andthelatterre-coveredwithquaint,ugly,old-fashionedpatterns,stripesandrosesandfloweredsprayswithimpossiblebirdsflittingamongthem。TheBassettdecoratorshaspastedthegiltimprovementovertheoldWhittakerpaper,anditwastheWhittakerpaperthatthecaptaindidhisbesttomatch,sendingsampleshere,there,andeverywhereintheeffort。Then,uponthewallshehungold-fashionedpictures,suchasBayportdwellershadlongagorelegatedtotheirattics,pictureslike“FromShoretoShore,““ChristianViewingtheCityBeautiful,“and“SigningtheDeclaration。“Totheseheadded,bringingthemfromthecrowdedgarretofthehomestead,oilpaintingsofshipscommandedbyhisfatherandgrandfather,andfamilyportraits,executed——whichisapeculiarlyfittingword——bydeceasedlocalartistsinoilandcrayon。
  Heboardedupthefireplaceinthesittingroomandinstalledabase-burnerstove,resurrectedfromthetinsmith'sbarn。Hepurchasedafull“hairclothset“ofparlorfurniturefromoldMrs。
  Penniman,whoneverhadbeenknowntosellanyofherhoardedbelongingsbefore,eventothe“antiquers,“andwouldn'thavedonesonow,haditnotbeenthatthecaptain'sofferwastooprincelytobereal,andtheoldladyfearedshemightbedreamingandwouldwakeupbeforeshereceivedthemoney。AndfromTrumettoOstablehejourneyed,buyingachairhereandatablethere,braidedragmatsfromthisone,andcordedbedsteadsand“risingsun“quiltsfromthat。AtleasthalfofBayportbelievedwithGabeLumleyandMissPhinneythat,ifCaptainCyhadnotescapedfromahomefortheinsane,hewasalikelycandidateforsuchaninstitution。
  Atthetableoftheperfectboardinghousethecaptainwasnotinclinedtobecommunicativeregardinghisreasonsandhisintentions。Hewasaprimefavoritethere,praisingKeturah'scooking,jokingwithAngelineconcerningwhathewaspleasedtocallher“giddy“mannerofdressingandwearing“sidecurls,“andtellingyarnsofSouthAmericandressandbehavior,whichwouldprobablyhaveshockedMrs。Tripp——shehavingrecentlylefttheMethodistchurchtojointhe“Come-Outers,“becausetheSundayservicesoftheformerwere,withtheorganandapaidchoir,altogether“tooplay-actin'“——iftheyhadnotbeensointeresting,andifCaptainCyhadnotalwaysconcludedthemwiththeobservation:“Butthere!youcan'texpectnothin'morefromignorantcrittersdeniedtheprivilegesofcongregationalsingin'andexperiencemeetin's;hey,Matilda?”
  Mrs。Trippwouldsighandadmitthatshesupposednot。
  “OnlyIdowishMr。Daniels,OURminister,mighthaveachancetopreachover'em,poorthings!”
  “SodoI,“withacovertwinkatMrs。Bangs,whowasastanchadherentoftheregularfaith。“SouthAmerica'dbejusttheplaceforhim;ain'tthatso,Keturah?”
  Heevadedallpersonalquestionsputtohimbytheboarders,explainingthathewasrenovatingtheoldplacejustforfun——healwayshadhadagangofmenworkingforhim,anditseemednaturalsomehow。Buttothefriendsofhisboyhood,AsaphTiddittandBaileyBangs,hetoldtherealtruth。
  “Iswantoman!”exclaimedBailey,almosttearfully,asthetriowanderedthroughtheroomsoftheCyWhittakerplace,dodgingpaperhangersandplasterers;“Iswantoman,Whit,ifitdon'talmostseemasthoughIwasaboyagain。Why!it'syourdad'shousecomebackalive,itisso!Lookatthissettin'room!Seem'sifI
  couldseehimnowa-settin'bythaterestove,andMrs。Whittaker,yourma,overtherea-sewin',andoldCap'nCy——yourgranddad——
  snoozin'inthatbigarmchair——Why!why,whit!it'stheveryimageofthechairhealwayssetin!”
  CaptainCylaughedaloud。
  “It'smoren'that,Bailey,“hesaid;“it'sTHEchair。'Twasupattic,allbustedandcrippled,butIhaditmadeoverlikenew。
  Andthere'sgranddad'spicture,lookin'justasIrememberhim——
  onlyhewan'tquitesomuchofafrozenwaximageashe'spaintedthere。I'mgoin'tohangitwhereitalwayshung,overthemantelpiece,nexttothelookin'glass。
  “Greatlandoflove,boys!”hewenton,“youfellersdon'tknowwhatthismeanstome。Manyandmany'sthetimeI'vehadthisoldhouseandthisoldroominmymind。I'veseen'emaboardshipinahowlin'galeofftheHorn。I'veseen'emdowninSurinamofahotnight,whentherewan'tabreathscurcelyandtheCaribswentarounddressedinahandkerchiefandapapercigar,anditmadeyouwishyoucould。I'veseen'em——butthere!everytimeI'veseen'emI'vesworethatsomedayI'dcomebackandLIVE'em,andnow,bythebigdipper!hereIam。Oh,Itellyou,chummies,youwanttobefiredOUTofahomeandoutofatowntoappreciate'em!NotthatIblametheoldman;heandIwastoomuchaliketocruiseincompany。ButBayportIwasbornin,andintheBayportgraveyardtheycanplantmewhenI'mreadyforthescrapheap。It'sinthebloodand——Why,seehere!Don'tITALKlikeaBayporter?”
  “Yousartindo!”repliedAsaphemphatically。
  “Abody'dthinkyou'dbeendiggin'clamsandpickin'cranberriesinBassett'sHollerallyourlifelong,tohearyou。“
  “Youbet!Well,that'spride;that'swhatthatis。Ipridedmyselfonhangin'totheBayporttwangthroughthickandthin。
  AmongalltheSpanish'Carambas'and'MadredeDioses'itdidmegoodtocomeoutwithagoodoldYankee'darn'onceinawhile。
  Keptmefeelin'likeawhiteman。Oh,I'maWhittaker!_I_knowit。AndI'vegotalltheWhittakerpig-headedness,Iguess。Andbecausetheoldman——blesshisheart,Isaynow——toldmeI
  shouldn'tBEaWhittakernomore,norlivelikeaWhittaker,I
  simplysworeupanddownIwouldbeoneandcomebackhere,whenI'dmademypile,toheaveanchorandstayonetillIdie。Maybethat'sfoolishness,butit'sme。“
  HepuffedvigorouslyatthepipewhichhadtakentheplaceoftheSnowflakecigar,andadded:
  “Takethisoldsettin'room——why,hereitis;see!Here'sdadinhischairandmainhers,and,ifyougobackfarenough,granddadinhis,justasyousay,Bailey。Andhere'sme,alittleshaver,squattin'onthefloorbythestove,lookin'atthepicturesinaheapofGodey'sLady'sBook。Andsaysdad,'Bos'n,'hesays——heusedtocallme'Bos'n'inthosedays——'Bos'n,'saysdad,'rundowncellarandfetchmeupapitcherofcider,that'sagoodfeller。'
  Yes,yes;that'sthisroomasI'veseenitinmymindeversinceI
  tiptoedthroughitthenightIrunaway,withmydudsinabundleundermyarm。DoyouwonderIwasfightin'madwhenIsawwhatthatHowestribehaddonetoit?”
  SuperintendingthemakingoveroftheoldhomeoccupiedmostofCaptainCy'sdaylighttimethatsummer。HiseveningswerespentatSimmons'sstore。WehavenoclubsinBayport,strictlyspeaking,forthesewingcircleandtheShakespeareReadingSocietyareexclusivelyfeminineinmembership;thereforeSimmons'sstoreisthegatheringplaceofthosemaleswhoarebachelorsorwidowersorwhoaresufficientlyfreefrompetticoatgovernmenttoriskanoccasionaleveningout。AsaphTiddittwasaregularsojourneratthestore。BaileyBangs,happeningintopurchasefiftycents'
  worthofsugarortohavethemolassesjugfilled,lingeredoccasionally,butnotoften。CaptainCyexplainedBailey'sabsenceincharacteristicfashion。
  “Variety,“observedthecaptain,“isthespiceoflife。Baileygetstalkenoughtohome。What'stheuseofhiscomin'upheretogetmore?”
  “Oh,Idon'tknow,“saidJosiahDimick,withagrin,“welethimdosomeofthetalkin'himselfuphere。Downattheboardin'houseKeturahandAngiePhinneydoitall。“
  “Yes。Still,ifafellerwascondemnedtoliveoverabilerfactoryhewouldn'thankertogetajobINit,wouldhe?WhenBaileywasadelegatetotheMethodistConferenceupinBoston,himandacrowdvisitedthedeefanddumbasylum。When'twastimetogo,hewasmissin',andtheyfoundhiminthefemalewardlookin'
  attheinmates。Saidthatthesightofallthemwomen,everyoneof'emnotabletosayaword,wasthemostwonderfulthingeverhelaideyeson。Saiditmadehimfeelkindofreverentandholy,almostasifhewasinParadise。SoAseTiddittsays,anyway;it'shisyarn。“
  “'Tain'tnuther,CyWhittaker!”declaredtheindignantAsaph。“IfyouexpectI'mgoin'tofatherallyourlies,you'remistaken。“
  ThecrowdatSimmons'sdiscusspolitics,asageneralthing;stateandnationalpoliticsintheirseasons,butcountypoliticsandlocalaffairsalways。ThequestioninBayportthatsummer,asidefromthatoftheharborappropriation,waswhoshouldbehiredasdownstairsteacher。Ourschoolhouseisatwo-storybuilding,withaschoolroomoneachfloor。Thelowerroom,wherethelittletotsbeginwiththeir“C——A——TCat,“andprogressuntiltheyhavemasteredtheFourthReader,iscalled“downstairs。““Upstairs“
  is,ofcourse,thesecondstory,wheretheolderchildrenaretaught。Tohandlesomeofthe“bigboys“upstairsisataskforahealthyman,andsuchaoneusuallyfillstheteacher'spositionthere。Downstairsbeing,intheory,atleast,lessstrenuous,ispresidedoverbyawoman。
  MissSeabury,whohadbeendownstairsteacherforonelivelyterm,hadresignedthatspringintearsandhumiliation。Herscholarshadenjoyedthemselvesandwouldhavelikedhertocontinue,butthecommitteeandthetownspeoplethoughtotherwise。Therewasageneralfeelingthatenjoymentwasnotthewholeaimofeducation。
  “Betty,“saidCaptainDimick,referringtohissmallgranddaughter,“hasdonefustratesofur'smarksmanshipandlungtrainin'goes。
  Ical'lateshecanhitanailheadtenfootoffwithaspitballthreetimesoutoffour,andshecanwhisperloudenoughtobeunderstoodinJericho。But,notwishingtobeunreasonable,stillIshouldliketohaveherspell'door'withoutan'e。'I'vealwaysbeenusedtoseein'itspelledthatwayand——well,I'mkindofold-
  fashioned,anyway。“
  TherewasadifferenceofopinionconcerningMissSeabury'ssuccessor。AportionofthetownspeoplewereforhiringagraduateoftheStateNormalSchool,ayoungwomanwithmoderntraining。
  Others,rememberingthatMissSeaburyhadgraduatedfromthatschool,wereforprovedabilityandlessup-to-datemethods。TheselatterhadselectedacandidateinthepersonofaMissPhoebeDawes,aresidentofWellmouth,andteacheroftheWellmouth“downstairs“forsomeyears。TheargumentsatSimmons'swerehotones。
  “What'stheuseofhirin'somebodyfromrightnextdoortous,asyoumightsay?”demandedAlpheusSmalley,clerkatthestore。
  “Don'twewantourteachin'tobeabreastofthetimes,andisWellmouthabreastofANYthing?”
  “It'sabreastofthebay,that'saboutall,Iwillgivein,“
  repliedMr。Tidditt。“But,thewayIlookatit,weneeddisCIPlinemore'nanythingelse,andPhoebeDaweshashadthebestdisCIPlineinherschool,that'sbeenknownintheselatitudes。Order?Why,say!EbenSalterstoldmethatwhenhevisitedherroomoverthere'twassostillthathedidn'tdasttoruboneshoeagainstt'other,itsoundedupso。Hehadtosetstillandbearhischilblainsbesthecould。AndPOPULAR!Why,whenshehintedthatshemightleaveinMay,herscholarsmore'nha'fof'em,bustoutcryin'。Nowyouhearme,I——“
  “Itseemstome,“putinThaddeusSimpson,whoranthebarbershopandwassomethingofapolitician,“itseemstome,fellers,thatwe'dbetterwaitandhearwhatMr。Atkinshastosayinthismatter。Iguessthat'swhatthecommittee'lldo,anyhow。Wewouldn'twanttogocontrarytoHeman,noneofus;hey?”
  “Tad“SimpsonwasknowntobedeepinCongressmanAtkins'sconfidence。Thementionofthegreatman'snamewasreceivedwithreverenceandnodsofapproval。
  “That'sright。Wemustn'tdonothin'todispleaseHeman,“wasthegeneralopinion。
  CaptainCydidnotjointhechorus。Herefilledhispipeandcrossedhislegs。
  “Humph!”hegrunted。“HemanAtkinsseemstobe——Givemeamatch,Ase,won'tyou?Thanks。Iunderstandthere'saspecialprayermeetin'atthechurchto-morrownight,Alpheus。What'sitfor?”
  “For?”Mr。Smalleyseemedsurprised。“It'stoprayforrain,that'swhat。Youknowit,Cap'n,aswell'sIdo。Ain'teverybody'sgardendryin'upandthepondssolowthatweshan'tbeabletogetwaterforthecranberryditchesprettysoon?There'sneedtopray,Ishouldthink!”
  “Humph!Seemsaroundaboutwayofgettin'athing,don'tit?Whydon'tyoutelegraphtoHemanandaskhimtofixitforyou?Savetime。“
  Thisremarkwasreceivedinhorrifiedsilence。TadSimpsonwasthefirsttorecover。
  “Cap'n,“hesaid,“youain'tmetMr。Atkinsyet。Whenyoudo,you'llfeelsameastherestofus。He'scomin'homenextweek;
  thenyou'llsee。“
  ApartatleastofMr。Simpson'sprophecyprovedtrue。TheHonorableAtkinsdidcometoBayportthefollowingweek,accompaniedbyhislittledaughterAlicia,thehousekeeper,andtheAtkinsservants。
  TheHonorableandhisdaughterhadbeen,sincetheadjournmentofCongress,onapleasuretriptotheYosemiteandYellowstonePark,andnowtheyweretoremaininthemansiononthehillforsometime。Thebighousewasopened,thestoneurnsburstintorefulgentbloom,theirondogswererefreshedwithacoatofblackpaint,andthebigirongatewasswungwide。Bayportsatupandtooknotice。
  AngelinePhinneywasinherglory。
  ThemeetingbetweenCaptainCyandMr。Atkinstookplacethemorningafterthelatter'sreturn。Thecaptainandhistwochumshadbeeninspectingtheprogressmadebythecarpentersandwereleaningoverthenewfence,thenjusterected,butnotyetpainted。
  Downthegravelwalkofthemansionacrosstheroadcamestrollingitsowner,silk-hatted,side-whiskered,benignant。
  “Godfrey!”exclaimedAsaph。“There'sHeman。Seehim,Whit?”
  “Yup,Iseehim。Seemstobeheadin'thisway。“
  “I——Idobelievehe'scomin'across,“whisperedMr。Bangs。“Yes,heis。He'srealeveryday,Cy。HEwon'tmindifyouain'tdressedup。“
  “Won'the?That'scomfortin'。Well,I'lldothebestIcanwithoutstimulants,asthedoctorsays。Ifyouhearmykneesrattlejustnudgeme,willyou,Bailey?”
  Mr。Tiddittremovedhishat。Baileytouchedhis。CaptainCylookedprovokinglyindifferent;heevenwhistled。
  “Goodmornin',Mr。Atkins,“hailedthetownclerk,raisinghisvoicebecauseofthewhistle。“I'mproudtoseeyoubackamongus,sir。HopeyouandAliciahadanicetimeoutWest。Howisshe——
  prettysmart?”